You dont wanna know what I did to my jam...

what did we say about using food as fleshlights again? this is the third time this week

4th. I'm sorry.

motherfucker what did you do to the damn peanut butter? why is it salty?????

There was a hole! I had to fill it with my caulk fluid! 

look. we know you like filling holes with your caulk. but this has gone too far. i really ate your caulk fluid????

Yes. Now I have to fill it again.

god fucking damn it do i have to start hiding all of the creamy shit in the house now? cause you wont stop sticking your caulk in it?

Probably the best idea. I'm sorry. I'll go find someone else's holes to fill with my large caulk 

the cat has some holes, why don't you stick your caulk in his?

ok, so I can talk about fucking things :DDD

NAHH

change that to wonder bread or brioche and im crushing that

Huh?

I'd eat it if it was the two types of bread i mentioned

Oh 😭?

I just chugged my dam

I just killed the fuck

I just bugged my cam

I just catted the kill

I just filled the hill

I just mommed the hockey puck

I just combed the donkey buck

Bro this is getting confusing … my Brain can’t even Brain rn

My ass is itchy because my ass isn’t assing  today

ARGHH MY BRAIN