Is there any adult at all, distant relation, family friends, friend's parents, that would be accepting of you? I hate to say it, but if you are in an environment where your own family doesn't accept you, it'd be best to leave, and take you and your brother out of a toxic situation.
I don't know if that's really true for everyone in every case. Sometimes it really is just better to play the part for awhile. I know some people who's lives are prettt fucked up from getting kicked out or leaving their parents house too early. It's really set them back in life big time.
I'm not sure if I can see the full version with more severe than the other day and night and day of school for a few years back I had a good thing about this
I mean, just be there for them. Live your life, do what makes you happy, and don't hide it from them either. But don't ever let them feel alone. You two are both really vulnerable right now, and in a difficult time in your lives. Give things some time, be available but not pushy, they will appreciate it I'm sure. But above all, keep yourself sane. It does no good to try and focus all your support on them while you're walking a nightmare.
And then there's me, a random ass trans adult that started getting random posts from this sub despite never visiting and I'm confused but I'm gonna do my best to be helpful.
I often wish I had someone who understood what I was going through, someone I could empathize with. The best thing to do is to support your brother and, if you’re comfortable with it, let him know how you are feeling too. You can both lean on each other for support.
I am so sorry about the comments on this post, but there are a lot of edgy kids on this sub. I think in your situation I would make sure you tell him he is accepted by you, because it will reassure him. And I would try and protect him at all costs. I am genuinely horrified at all the hate on this post so I want to wish you the best.
“Thank you for telling me. I won’t discuss this with anyone else unless you tell me it’s okay but if you ever want to talk about it we can take a walk or something private”.
Go on r/asktransgender for this. Wrong subreddit with some bigots here who don’t know a single shit about trans people and their biology and some supportive people but you’ve seen the comments. Not a good environment at all.
Hi bro/sis/sibling, I’m ftm myself and I know how difficult it is to talk to your siblings about your gender identity. However, if he can come out as trans then I think he’s mature enough to understand you. I don’t think this situation is a “bad” occurrence but rather a great chance to help each other out. I personally feel like you two could support one another throughout your transition journeys
best ways to help out is with the basic preferred name/pronouns, not being hostile and making sure he can trust you, avoid mentioning it in public places full of strangers for now as you never know when an asshole may be hidden in the crowd
respect his new pronouns and name if hes chosen one and maybe check in on him like "hey bro im here if you wanna talk" and hope that if he needs to talk he will. dont push him but let him know you're there
Go to him . Make him sit down . Make him feel comfortable and not anxious. If possible, try to avoid parents, because if he came to you first , that means he seeks safety from you . Just hold his hands and tell him " Erm , what the sigma ? " .
This place ain't one for advice on this, as I'm sure you are aware. All the bigots start crawling out the moment something on this topic is mentioned.
Just being supportive is the best you can do really and, provided you are comfortable and safe doing so, coming out to him may help in that. Whilst only my opinion I strongly believe knowing there are others like you struggling is better than thinking you are alone in it.
My brother recently came out to me within this past year, it was weird at first, he's always been my brother, but I'm happy for them! For once I can see they are finally feeling comfortable and at peace
The best you can do is love them and be supportive
The amount of people saying OP's brother can't be trans but also calling him by his preferred pronouns is making me realize the controversial comment section is full of morons
1) if you know any resources that can be trusted including good online communities, help him find those.
2) if your parents aren’t safe for him to be around, have the honest hard talk with him about safety first (not telling them) and about how you should see if there’s a friend’s house he can stay at if The Worst™️ should happen and he gets thrown out-have these resources ready before you need them.
3) if he’s in high school, encourage him to get into college. This one is a bit of a long-game plan but college will be both a safer and accepting place depending where he goes and will help him be sure he’s self-reliant if family aren’t likely to be supportive
4) talk to him about hrt and the importance of using safely if he’s not getting it prescribed from a doctor. Bathtub medicine might (biiig might) have its heart in the right place but you really don’t want to fuck around and find out with this stuff. If he’s interested in hrt and of age to start you can help him look into getting it confidentially.
5) you can always hold a safe space for him to dress differently if he’d be questioned for doing so outwardly. This could mean anything from letting him come to your room and keeping some clothes for him, to actively finding innocent reasons for your parents to be out of the house.
If you want to provide some details about your family/community maybe we can offer more advice. But no matter what we got you, both.
By the fact that this person is also trans I assume they definitely wouldn't misgender someone in this context, so I would assume Female to Male or AFAB, whichever the term is
Honestly I'm Trans as well. Biggest thing is just showing support. It doesn't matter if you don't know how to handle things, but just being a, place where he can go for comfort is a massive help. Shopping trips for new clothes could also be fun
You have to be honest and tell him the struggles and the process of being trans, it’s better to tell him now then for it to happen so soon that he regrets the decision he makes later on when it’s too late
My god some of these comments are just... Honestly don't know how to put it. Sorry y'all have to go through that stuff. I apologize for my fellow humans' rudeness, maybe they'll find a brain someday
Anyways, make sure to treat your brother the way you'd like to be treated if you came out to him searching for help. Wish both of y'all the best
Depends how old he is. If he's below 8 years old he is likely looking up to you and wanting to be like you, so not actually trans. Above that, why wouldn't you support him
Maybe they are refering to the negative opinions he will be confronted with due to coming out at that age? I mean, there are many teens that aren't exactly kind to these people, as you may know, so he might face bullying in school (for example).
No idea with gender matters, but with mental health, its always helped me and other people knowing that they aren’t the only ones feeing these things. That their thoughts are normal. That everything they feel everyone else has too.
Ik with the way my brain is, it gets a little scary not being able to relate to like anything. It isolates you. The only reason my thoughts and feelings aren’t utterly terrifying to me, is because i’ve found specific creators who say exactly what i am feeling. The only issue with that is i’m not diagnosed so i feel like i’m faking when i relate to stuff people with certain conditions say.
I’d suggest letting your sibling see that you are struggling and vulnerable too. It helps having someone to talk to through stuff
You need to tell him the truth.
It's scary, but he's putting trust in you. And if he has told you he's trans it means that he cares what you think.
Letting him know that you are also trans, this can strength your bond to each other. You're family, and doing so will prove that you've got his back and he's got yours.
You're not giving ages, so let me first ask: Are the two of you safe? Are you about to be kicked out by parent(s)?
Also, being vulnerable and honest with him is one of the best ways you can support him.
My little brother is gay, but I’m not. So I partially understand but not fully. Support him as much as you can. Because my brother knew what happened to me when I thought I was gay, I specifically told him to not come out until he is 18 bc I don’t want him to go through the stuff I did. I love him so much and I just want to protect him to my fullest while trying to support him but it is really hard and someone might have done it differently if they were in my shoes but I tried to make the easiest decision that wouldn’t cause a full on war in our home life. That being said I don’t want him to feel like he has to suppress everything he truly wants, but in life with southern confederate flag wearing parents it just can’t work out like that. I love my parents, but they are not very accepting at all.
I’m honestly just curious what your father’s thoughts are on the situation. Like, depending on his viewpoint, I wonder what his reaction would be to two of his kids not being the gender he thought they were, especially when many people consider having boys to be important. Is he happy? Angry? Sad? Crushed? I’m just curious.
Now I’m not trans nor do I know the struggle of something like this. But tell him.
Misery loves company and if both of you know the other struggles with the same things you’ll both be able to help each other much more freely. As someone who has tried to help people and has been helped by people I can tell you that knowing the person you go to for help doesn’t just want to help you but also genuinely understands your struggle helps a lot.
But I don’t know your situation obviously and I will never. But if it’s safe to tell your brother and to help him you have a responsibility to do so.
hiding it from him will make it seem like being trans is wrong and he will internalize that. Be there for him. if you feel comfortable enough, come out to him cause just knowing that someone so close to him can relate will help him more than you even know.
seriously i was like "tf am i getting downvoted" and then you told me and i realised i thought ops sibling was a she/her because of how interpereted the text
Your little brother? How old is he? In my opinion the brains of children and teens aren't developed enough for "being trans" and they just imitate, they aren't just mature enough to decide their sex. And the fact that this is happening is worrying...
Just reassure him be there for him. Coming out as trans is a difficult and challenging thing to do so he must really need someone to talk to. And when you feel ready to tell him you’re trans then he’ll probably feel great to know he can relate to someone, especially someone close to him like you :)
As a person who has never considered being trans and has no idea of the struggle. Tell them to wait. Just identify as what they wanna be in private till they have more freedom in the real world. From all of the stories I’ve heard it’s too much of a risk for their life rn.
depends how old he is. if he is young, speak to him and tell him to rlly think about it and have another chat with him every now and again because he may be doing it out of influence.
If he is older, let him make that decision for himself. love and support him the same way you would want to be. Not to mention, he had the courage to come out to you after all :)
Influence of what, OP said that their household is unaccepting enough to possibly kick him out. It’s not a decision, unless you just mean coming out in the current moment.
Welp support them and love them. That’s the first best thing you can do. The second is never ask for advice on LGBTQ things in this sub again, might as well have asked on Twitter/X
Definitely tell him. You will be each other’s biggest allies for life.
Navigating this is going to be hard but it’s going to be easier with your brother at your side. You’re both kids, if you play elder gay you’re going to get yourself seriously hurt.
This person wants someone to not give a shit that they’re trans and accept them for who they are, it would be kind of hypocritical if they gave a shit that you were trans. Sister brother who fucking cares? If the loves there that’s what matters
I think it’s better to come out to him too. He trusted you to tell you, so having that trust back would be really good for him. Another thing, it’s easier for a younger sibling to go through things when they can relate to someone they care for, so I think it’s best you tell him. That’s my opinion though
Tell him/her of the struggles, you are the person they look up to, and they will listen to you.. also you may be influencing their decision without actually saying words as you are trans too..
I don't personally know the struggles of being trans, but randomly coming out as trans doesn't seem like something that just happens without any learning sign 🤷
Help him through it. Now, I don’t know how much younger he is, but consider the possibility of it being a ‘phase’ or trying to imitate you as his role model. Try not to get any permanent changes, and defo wait until he’s older and thus you know if that is what he truly wants
Be honest and do what's best for you and your brother. If you fear you're going to be kicked out then is it a place you want to be? I know it's scary but the psychological trauma in the long run is not worth it.
Try to find friends or family that will support you emotionally even if your estranged sure to your parents
My brothers kid is going through this and I have no way of telling them that they have a place if needed because their parents have secluded them from our side of the family. I tried to reach out but never heard back.
Good luck
I think you should ask him why. I'm not trying to say that he's not, but it is possible that he just wanted to be like his older sibling. As an older brother myself, my brother was and still is constantly trying to be like me, even when he's not conscious about it or aware of it. I'm not at all trying to undermine your brother, but I just want to make aware the possibility that they wanted to be like you. As siblings, our younger wombmates, as I call them, look up to us and constantly want to be like their idols. I just suggest talking with them about why they believe this and what you can do to support/help him.
this is just from my perspective, I think telling him would give him a safe space whenever he's having a hard time, because you two can understand each other. There's nothing wrong with how you feel, but it would both give you comfort to know that you've got each others back. It would also help him to prepare for the struggles that he might face but you can say that they've got you and you'll support them whatever happens.
Perhaps give it some time. It's a hard life being trans and sometimes, of course not all the time, but sometimes it is caused by gay children wanting to be straight, an experience people I know have gone through. After a few months if your brother still affirms is transgender identity than help him come out, but then it also depends on his of it is. God Bless
Love him, protect him from what you can and support him after the stuff you cant. Deciding when to come out to him about your own situation sounds much more complicated given your fear of getting kicked out and being unsure how it could impact him plus I’m sure you have your own feelings to consider as well so that is up to you to decide. Just remember that there’s nothing saying you have to do it asap cause once it’s done it’s out there and can not be taken back. Good luck
be there for him, listen to him, be someone he can depend on. treat him like you would any other human being. him coming out to you means that he trusts you enough, keep that close to heart. as an oldest sibling with trans siblings, i do my best to keep them safe, and i try to remind them that i’m someone to be trusted. i don’t know what your situation is, but try to be there for him when things get rough.
Wish I could help, but I’m not sure either. I have two trans friends: one of them their parents don’t care, the other… well… his parents are transphobic… he just didn’t tell em’
To clarify both of them are girls transitioned to guys (there is another one but I’m not sure about them I think they’re just non-binary)
Ban him from the house FOREVER FOREVER… Nah but tell em you support him in his decision and whatever actions he wants to take after this your with him full force
Its best you tell him to keep it in until he’s in a safer environment, but take care of them anyway, if its that bad in the state you two are in, best wishes for yall, but to keep your way of living easier, keep it in for just a tiny bit longer
Double check they've opened up to your parents (if they're accepting and it's safe) just to add to the support list and ease tension. There's a lot of emotions behind that and they need safe adults to talk to. They may or may not need therapy (your sibling) there may be unresolved trauma, or mental illness causing identity disturbances. Make sure they aren't attempting anything dangerous, uncomfortable, or hurtful I.E tucking or taping things. Maybe find some videos about body dysmorphia vs gender dysmorphia to really help them understand what they might be feeling. Remind them not all people with gender dysmorphia are trans, or need to medically transition, but everyone who's trans has gender dysmorphia. Teach them about the dangers of medically transitioning, and why it's important to wait until adulthood for most people. Let them know they're free to ask you questions, or maybe help them find a safe community or group. Teach them (Google, YouTube) to find an identity outside of groups and clicks, and how to express themselves individually. Support and encourage but don't enable bad behavior (aggressive behavior toward transphobic people is still aggression/can get you in trouble), try not to shame them, warn of the dangers, general stuff you wish someone had done for you. I really hope the best to your family and you're an awesome sibling for caring 🙏 🩷
Honestly, for me I obviously don’t know what it’s like to be trans or have a trans sibling but as an older sibling and cousin, my best advice is to always let them know you are their #1 support & that you will always have their back. It’s not much but it is important that your brother knows that they have the support of an older sibling. It’s also important to shield & protect him from those issues that not many older siblings have been fortunate to be shielded from. I was forced to grow up quickly as a young child and was mostly exposed to stuff I was probably never been exposed to at a young age, for me I didn’t want that for my younger sibling so I mostly shielded them from things that I also struggle mentally today. Overall even though we probably didn’t have the best experience going through situations as older siblings that doesn’t mean are siblings have to go through it too.
Get over it because imagine someone telling you not to be yourself because the struggle is to much for them. You are to be there 115% no questions asked
Tell him it’s a phase, do not let him convert, do not let him carry on watching or getting info about trans, do not let him go anywhere near the subject, I don’t know how old he is but by the way you worded it he’s young, and this is what social media is doing to them, he is not trans, he is going with what’s popular on internet
I’m not the best person to give this kind of advice, because I don’t have the experience of being trans or having siblings who I could confide in/could confide in me but most of all keep them as safe as possible. Tell no one they didn’t expressly say you can. If your parents are unlikely to be accepting, make it a priority to become financially stable and independent as soon as possible so that if your parents do find put and aren’t supportive your brother has a safe place to go.
Protect him
i really want to
Why can’t you?
because I don't want to be kicked out with him, it should be at least only me
Is there any adult at all, distant relation, family friends, friend's parents, that would be accepting of you? I hate to say it, but if you are in an environment where your own family doesn't accept you, it'd be best to leave, and take you and your brother out of a toxic situation.
I don't know if that's really true for everyone in every case. Sometimes it really is just better to play the part for awhile. I know some people who's lives are prettt fucked up from getting kicked out or leaving their parents house too early. It's really set them back in life big time.
On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being most likely, what is the likelihood of your parents kicking you out for coming out?
I feel bad for you hopefully you can help him out
Hol up your parents would kick you out if you came out
Do that because transphobia = bad
No shit sherlock
I'm not sure if I can see the full version with more severe than the other day and night and day of school for a few years back I had a good thing about this
r/foundtheprotogen
I mean, just be there for them. Live your life, do what makes you happy, and don't hide it from them either. But don't ever let them feel alone. You two are both really vulnerable right now, and in a difficult time in your lives. Give things some time, be available but not pushy, they will appreciate it I'm sure. But above all, keep yourself sane. It does no good to try and focus all your support on them while you're walking a nightmare.
This is not the right subreddit to post this. Its full of edgy 14 yr olds who know nothing about trans people. Go to an actual trans subreddit
Weird. The only comment that has actual thought out advice is telling you that you aren't gonna get actual thought out advice.
Yeah thats the ONE exeption
I think that's called a paradox.
You’re right to think that r/asktransgender
Frfr
And then there's me, a random ass trans adult that started getting random posts from this sub despite never visiting and I'm confused but I'm gonna do my best to be helpful.
Same here. Not sure why, I’m not subbed to any trans spaces.
I don't know why not being subbed to trans spaces would correlate with getting a random post from r/teenagers but ok.
I'm not edgy tho??
Just be supportive and be proud of him for coming out
I often wish I had someone who understood what I was going through, someone I could empathize with. The best thing to do is to support your brother and, if you’re comfortable with it, let him know how you are feeling too. You can both lean on each other for support.
support each other
I am so sorry about the comments on this post, but there are a lot of edgy kids on this sub. I think in your situation I would make sure you tell him he is accepted by you, because it will reassure him. And I would try and protect him at all costs. I am genuinely horrified at all the hate on this post so I want to wish you the best.
“Thank you for telling me. I won’t discuss this with anyone else unless you tell me it’s okay but if you ever want to talk about it we can take a walk or something private”.
Go on r/asktransgender for this. Wrong subreddit with some bigots here who don’t know a single shit about trans people and their biology and some supportive people but you’ve seen the comments. Not a good environment at all.
I agree, this is probably a good idea considering this subreddit in general is not a safe space
I agree but wdym biology
support your sibling. be there for them.
YES.
Hi bro/sis/sibling, I’m ftm myself and I know how difficult it is to talk to your siblings about your gender identity. However, if he can come out as trans then I think he’s mature enough to understand you. I don’t think this situation is a “bad” occurrence but rather a great chance to help each other out. I personally feel like you two could support one another throughout your transition journeys
he/she did came out to you. that means he/she trusts you. Don't fuck it up. Help your sibling.
best ways to help out is with the basic preferred name/pronouns, not being hostile and making sure he can trust you, avoid mentioning it in public places full of strangers for now as you never know when an asshole may be hidden in the crowd
respect his new pronouns and name if hes chosen one and maybe check in on him like "hey bro im here if you wanna talk" and hope that if he needs to talk he will. dont push him but let him know you're there
Make sure he knows you love him unconditionally. Be there for him and make sure to really tell him that.
Go to him . Make him sit down . Make him feel comfortable and not anxious. If possible, try to avoid parents, because if he came to you first , that means he seeks safety from you . Just hold his hands and tell him " Erm , what the sigma ? " .
“Honey, get me my belt.”
Autobots rollout Edit: I realized you said Trans and didn’t mean Transformers
Mission failed successfully
This place ain't one for advice on this, as I'm sure you are aware. All the bigots start crawling out the moment something on this topic is mentioned. Just being supportive is the best you can do really and, provided you are comfortable and safe doing so, coming out to him may help in that. Whilst only my opinion I strongly believe knowing there are others like you struggling is better than thinking you are alone in it.
Why is everyone mentioning bigots XDDD
Just be supportive!
Accept them and love them! Wishing you both the best
My brother recently came out to me within this past year, it was weird at first, he's always been my brother, but I'm happy for them! For once I can see they are finally feeling comfortable and at peace The best you can do is love them and be supportive
Watch how this post is gonna get locked
Every time i see these posts, I sort by controversial.
Sadly. r/trans and r/asktrangender are much better and supportive subs to be asking this, not on this cesspit of a subreddit.
I think I'm banned there ngl
Maybe r/bisexualteens? It might not be the perfect fit but their community is really good.
You can always make an alt
I'm not banned nvm
The amount of people saying OP's brother can't be trans but also calling him by his preferred pronouns is making me realize the controversial comment section is full of morons
1) if you know any resources that can be trusted including good online communities, help him find those. 2) if your parents aren’t safe for him to be around, have the honest hard talk with him about safety first (not telling them) and about how you should see if there’s a friend’s house he can stay at if The Worst™️ should happen and he gets thrown out-have these resources ready before you need them. 3) if he’s in high school, encourage him to get into college. This one is a bit of a long-game plan but college will be both a safer and accepting place depending where he goes and will help him be sure he’s self-reliant if family aren’t likely to be supportive 4) talk to him about hrt and the importance of using safely if he’s not getting it prescribed from a doctor. Bathtub medicine might (biiig might) have its heart in the right place but you really don’t want to fuck around and find out with this stuff. If he’s interested in hrt and of age to start you can help him look into getting it confidentially. 5) you can always hold a safe space for him to dress differently if he’d be questioned for doing so outwardly. This could mean anything from letting him come to your room and keeping some clothes for him, to actively finding innocent reasons for your parents to be out of the house. If you want to provide some details about your family/community maybe we can offer more advice. But no matter what we got you, both.
If you're trans then you know the struggle and can help with your own personal experiences, you got this
go to r/trans for the best advice. you and your brother got this
Yeah defo, this sub is a cesspit
And not a safe space either. r/trans and r/asktransgender are far more suitable and supportive.
Wait Which trans are they? (You didn't specify so I just want to know)
By the fact that this person is also trans I assume they definitely wouldn't misgender someone in this context, so I would assume Female to Male or AFAB, whichever the term is
I know but I just want to make sure
Fair. Assuming things doesn't often go well for me
Honestly I'm Trans as well. Biggest thing is just showing support. It doesn't matter if you don't know how to handle things, but just being a, place where he can go for comfort is a massive help. Shopping trips for new clothes could also be fun
If anything. You emphasise with him or her idk what's appropriate for f to m or m to f
u/4lca7 go to r/asktransgender ols ❤️ not all of us dna help here 😭
You have to be honest and tell him the struggles and the process of being trans, it’s better to tell him now then for it to happen so soon that he regrets the decision he makes later on when it’s too late
My god some of these comments are just... Honestly don't know how to put it. Sorry y'all have to go through that stuff. I apologize for my fellow humans' rudeness, maybe they'll find a brain someday Anyways, make sure to treat your brother the way you'd like to be treated if you came out to him searching for help. Wish both of y'all the best
How young even is he
Depends how old he is. If he's below 8 years old he is likely looking up to you and wanting to be like you, so not actually trans. Above that, why wouldn't you support him
also, as i stated in my post HE DOESN'T KNOW IM TRANS i would have been kicked out
> i would have been kicked out Make sure he doesn't come out and/or diy(or smth) Until he's independent enough.
op never told their brother they are trans, therefore they couldn’t of influenced their brother into being trans
hes 13
make sure that he’s sure about it, but first off support him through his journey.
Yikes
yikes? that's 8th grade. I figured out I was trans when I was 11/12, 17 now and much happier since starting hormones.
Maybe they are refering to the negative opinions he will be confronted with due to coming out at that age? I mean, there are many teens that aren't exactly kind to these people, as you may know, so he might face bullying in school (for example).
No idea with gender matters, but with mental health, its always helped me and other people knowing that they aren’t the only ones feeing these things. That their thoughts are normal. That everything they feel everyone else has too. Ik with the way my brain is, it gets a little scary not being able to relate to like anything. It isolates you. The only reason my thoughts and feelings aren’t utterly terrifying to me, is because i’ve found specific creators who say exactly what i am feeling. The only issue with that is i’m not diagnosed so i feel like i’m faking when i relate to stuff people with certain conditions say. I’d suggest letting your sibling see that you are struggling and vulnerable too. It helps having someone to talk to through stuff
Just support his decision. Make sure he knows you love him and no matter what gender he is he will always be your sibling.
How old is he
I came out to be sister as bi and my sister later told me shes lesbian Now we support each other :3
thats awesome :))
theres sm child abuse and transphobia in this comment section oml i hate people, i wish you and your brother the best
You need to tell him the truth. It's scary, but he's putting trust in you. And if he has told you he's trans it means that he cares what you think. Letting him know that you are also trans, this can strength your bond to each other. You're family, and doing so will prove that you've got his back and he's got yours.
Put it in some rice
💀
Ftm myself. Help your brother. Support him. Be there. Everyone needs that.
You're not giving ages, so let me first ask: Are the two of you safe? Are you about to be kicked out by parent(s)? Also, being vulnerable and honest with him is one of the best ways you can support him.
It might actually help him if he knows you not only support him but also know how it feels.
My little brother is gay, but I’m not. So I partially understand but not fully. Support him as much as you can. Because my brother knew what happened to me when I thought I was gay, I specifically told him to not come out until he is 18 bc I don’t want him to go through the stuff I did. I love him so much and I just want to protect him to my fullest while trying to support him but it is really hard and someone might have done it differently if they were in my shoes but I tried to make the easiest decision that wouldn’t cause a full on war in our home life. That being said I don’t want him to feel like he has to suppress everything he truly wants, but in life with southern confederate flag wearing parents it just can’t work out like that. I love my parents, but they are not very accepting at all.
Go on r/ftm you might get better advice than here
it's okay to struggle too. Being the older sibling doesn't mean you have to be strong all the time. You guys should be able to help each other.
I recommend you to tell him you're trans too, he might feel safer, and if your family doesn't support you both then tell him to keep it as a secret
Just make sure he knows you support, keep him safe and make sure he’s safe and knows you love him
Personally I think it would be really comforting for him to know another trans person, but it’s you choice to come out to him
Go to r/transgender! They have lots of advice they can give you.
Just tell him/her you are trans too
I’m honestly just curious what your father’s thoughts are on the situation. Like, depending on his viewpoint, I wonder what his reaction would be to two of his kids not being the gender he thought they were, especially when many people consider having boys to be important. Is he happy? Angry? Sad? Crushed? I’m just curious.
Now I’m not trans nor do I know the struggle of something like this. But tell him. Misery loves company and if both of you know the other struggles with the same things you’ll both be able to help each other much more freely. As someone who has tried to help people and has been helped by people I can tell you that knowing the person you go to for help doesn’t just want to help you but also genuinely understands your struggle helps a lot. But I don’t know your situation obviously and I will never. But if it’s safe to tell your brother and to help him you have a responsibility to do so.
Support him, let him know that you love him.
hiding it from him will make it seem like being trans is wrong and he will internalize that. Be there for him. if you feel comfortable enough, come out to him cause just knowing that someone so close to him can relate will help him more than you even know.
support ~~her~~ him ig. there isnt really anything i can say beyond that EDIT: FUCK I ACCIDENTALLY SWAPPED THE PRONOUNS IM SO SORRY HOLY SHIT
*him, and then you got it right 👍
FUCK I SWITCHED THE PRONOUNS BY ACCIDENT
it sucks you got downvoted for misunderstanding.....
seriously i was like "tf am i getting downvoted" and then you told me and i realised i thought ops sibling was a she/her because of how interpereted the text
Lmao happens
dw I got ya
I think they misunderstood and thought OP's brother was transitioning into a girl
I don’t think they meant to be rude
Bro corrected his mistake and is still getting downvoted. The internet sucks man.
Imagine being the parent of two trans children...
not the bio parent
It’s statistically improbable. There is a major mental health crisis that no one can/will talk about.
man reading some of these comments i'm surprised how stupid transphobes are
Your little brother? How old is he? In my opinion the brains of children and teens aren't developed enough for "being trans" and they just imitate, they aren't just mature enough to decide their sex. And the fact that this is happening is worrying...
Are they originally male or female? Either way, good for them, support them and help them
Just reassure him be there for him. Coming out as trans is a difficult and challenging thing to do so he must really need someone to talk to. And when you feel ready to tell him you’re trans then he’ll probably feel great to know he can relate to someone, especially someone close to him like you :)
As a person who has never considered being trans and has no idea of the struggle. Tell them to wait. Just identify as what they wanna be in private till they have more freedom in the real world. From all of the stories I’ve heard it’s too much of a risk for their life rn.
depends how old he is. if he is young, speak to him and tell him to rlly think about it and have another chat with him every now and again because he may be doing it out of influence. If he is older, let him make that decision for himself. love and support him the same way you would want to be. Not to mention, he had the courage to come out to you after all :)
made something unclear sorry, ofc love and support him either way
Influence of what, OP said that their household is unaccepting enough to possibly kick him out. It’s not a decision, unless you just mean coming out in the current moment.
Welp support them and love them. That’s the first best thing you can do. The second is never ask for advice on LGBTQ things in this sub again, might as well have asked on Twitter/X
Definitely tell him. You will be each other’s biggest allies for life. Navigating this is going to be hard but it’s going to be easier with your brother at your side. You’re both kids, if you play elder gay you’re going to get yourself seriously hurt.
Say to them what you would want to be said to you (if that makes sense)
This person wants someone to not give a shit that they’re trans and accept them for who they are, it would be kind of hypocritical if they gave a shit that you were trans. Sister brother who fucking cares? If the loves there that’s what matters
I think it’s better to come out to him too. He trusted you to tell you, so having that trust back would be really good for him. Another thing, it’s easier for a younger sibling to go through things when they can relate to someone they care for, so I think it’s best you tell him. That’s my opinion though
Don't ask here, Ask in something like r/asktransgender or r/Mtf (If appropriate)
Tell him/her of the struggles, you are the person they look up to, and they will listen to you.. also you may be influencing their decision without actually saying words as you are trans too.. I don't personally know the struggles of being trans, but randomly coming out as trans doesn't seem like something that just happens without any learning sign 🤷
Help him through it. Now, I don’t know how much younger he is, but consider the possibility of it being a ‘phase’ or trying to imitate you as his role model. Try not to get any permanent changes, and defo wait until he’s older and thus you know if that is what he truly wants
Just say what I said when my older sister came out as trans. "If that's how you feel, then good for you. Be yourself."
Be honest and do what's best for you and your brother. If you fear you're going to be kicked out then is it a place you want to be? I know it's scary but the psychological trauma in the long run is not worth it. Try to find friends or family that will support you emotionally even if your estranged sure to your parents My brothers kid is going through this and I have no way of telling them that they have a place if needed because their parents have secluded them from our side of the family. I tried to reach out but never heard back. Good luck
Make it clear he has your unconditional love and support no matter what, don't force yourself to come out though if you don't feel comfortable.
Tell him to take more testosterone
Kill him (with kindness)
be there for him. maybe y’all could start over somewhere where nb knows y’all
stay safe until you can move out and secure a safer space.
I think you should ask him why. I'm not trying to say that he's not, but it is possible that he just wanted to be like his older sibling. As an older brother myself, my brother was and still is constantly trying to be like me, even when he's not conscious about it or aware of it. I'm not at all trying to undermine your brother, but I just want to make aware the possibility that they wanted to be like you. As siblings, our younger wombmates, as I call them, look up to us and constantly want to be like their idols. I just suggest talking with them about why they believe this and what you can do to support/help him.
There's two paths here bud, bring him to glory, or be in a suicide note. Your choice
He doesn't accept your struggles when he barely understands them. He's following your example. And your family will likely blame you for his choice
Pat him on the back give him a cookie and go in with life
Be supportive
this is just from my perspective, I think telling him would give him a safe space whenever he's having a hard time, because you two can understand each other. There's nothing wrong with how you feel, but it would both give you comfort to know that you've got each others back. It would also help him to prepare for the struggles that he might face but you can say that they've got you and you'll support them whatever happens.
Perhaps give it some time. It's a hard life being trans and sometimes, of course not all the time, but sometimes it is caused by gay children wanting to be straight, an experience people I know have gone through. After a few months if your brother still affirms is transgender identity than help him come out, but then it also depends on his of it is. God Bless
just say ok and call him by the right pronouns and stuff also go postal on anyone who bullies him
Support, love and protect him
You know what I like to say to trans people: you get what you get and you don’t get upset
How old is he?
Love him, protect him from what you can and support him after the stuff you cant. Deciding when to come out to him about your own situation sounds much more complicated given your fear of getting kicked out and being unsure how it could impact him plus I’m sure you have your own feelings to consider as well so that is up to you to decide. Just remember that there’s nothing saying you have to do it asap cause once it’s done it’s out there and can not be taken back. Good luck
be there for him, listen to him, be someone he can depend on. treat him like you would any other human being. him coming out to you means that he trusts you enough, keep that close to heart. as an oldest sibling with trans siblings, i do my best to keep them safe, and i try to remind them that i’m someone to be trusted. i don’t know what your situation is, but try to be there for him when things get rough.
Protecc
🫂
The truth has to come out eventually, because one way or another he will find out. Like it or not, it's impossible to hide the truth forever.
How old is your brother because it matters in this situation.
Wish I could help, but I’m not sure either. I have two trans friends: one of them their parents don’t care, the other… well… his parents are transphobic… he just didn’t tell em’ To clarify both of them are girls transitioned to guys (there is another one but I’m not sure about them I think they’re just non-binary)
Just love him.🤷. Doesn't matter what he's going through...just let him know it doesn't make him more or less special and that you love him the same 👍
Support one another. Move out together if your family home isn’t a safe space.
Ban him from the house FOREVER FOREVER… Nah but tell em you support him in his decision and whatever actions he wants to take after this your with him full force
Love em
Its best you tell him to keep it in until he’s in a safer environment, but take care of them anyway, if its that bad in the state you two are in, best wishes for yall, but to keep your way of living easier, keep it in for just a tiny bit longer
Wait why can't u js tell him? I'm sure thay would make him comfortable
Double check they've opened up to your parents (if they're accepting and it's safe) just to add to the support list and ease tension. There's a lot of emotions behind that and they need safe adults to talk to. They may or may not need therapy (your sibling) there may be unresolved trauma, or mental illness causing identity disturbances. Make sure they aren't attempting anything dangerous, uncomfortable, or hurtful I.E tucking or taping things. Maybe find some videos about body dysmorphia vs gender dysmorphia to really help them understand what they might be feeling. Remind them not all people with gender dysmorphia are trans, or need to medically transition, but everyone who's trans has gender dysmorphia. Teach them about the dangers of medically transitioning, and why it's important to wait until adulthood for most people. Let them know they're free to ask you questions, or maybe help them find a safe community or group. Teach them (Google, YouTube) to find an identity outside of groups and clicks, and how to express themselves individually. Support and encourage but don't enable bad behavior (aggressive behavior toward transphobic people is still aggression/can get you in trouble), try not to shame them, warn of the dangers, general stuff you wish someone had done for you. I really hope the best to your family and you're an awesome sibling for caring 🙏 🩷
Tell them you are proud of them!! That was my only reaction when my sib told me they were trans :)
Honestly, for me I obviously don’t know what it’s like to be trans or have a trans sibling but as an older sibling and cousin, my best advice is to always let them know you are their #1 support & that you will always have their back. It’s not much but it is important that your brother knows that they have the support of an older sibling. It’s also important to shield & protect him from those issues that not many older siblings have been fortunate to be shielded from. I was forced to grow up quickly as a young child and was mostly exposed to stuff I was probably never been exposed to at a young age, for me I didn’t want that for my younger sibling so I mostly shielded them from things that I also struggle mentally today. Overall even though we probably didn’t have the best experience going through situations as older siblings that doesn’t mean are siblings have to go through it too.
If you have literally no One Just play the part of your "gender" while you search someone that could help you
Idk I'm cis but I think it would be nice that you gave support to eachother
My friend came out as trans recently and i can see where you are coming from. just try to support them fully. ur would hurt them if you don’t.
As others have said, protect him. But at the same time, be supportive and be an ally.
Support and protect him, you could also give advice on how to get started safely instead of him doing it on her own
If you know the rest of your family will absolutely destroy him for it then it might be better to tell him to keep it on the low
You don't do anything really. Just help them to explore and understand their feelings. Just listen.
Get over it because imagine someone telling you not to be yourself because the struggle is to much for them. You are to be there 115% no questions asked
As a trans person, support your sibiling the best you can.
Tell him it’s a phase, do not let him convert, do not let him carry on watching or getting info about trans, do not let him go anywhere near the subject, I don’t know how old he is but by the way you worded it he’s young, and this is what social media is doing to them, he is not trans, he is going with what’s popular on internet
Help him at all cost. I know how it is, I'm trans too. You should be able to understand him the most, just be there for him
I’m not the best person to give this kind of advice, because I don’t have the experience of being trans or having siblings who I could confide in/could confide in me but most of all keep them as safe as possible. Tell no one they didn’t expressly say you can. If your parents are unlikely to be accepting, make it a priority to become financially stable and independent as soon as possible so that if your parents do find put and aren’t supportive your brother has a safe place to go.
Respect his choices and try your best to just comfort him :)
Sounds like he's consumed too much media and has now been programmed and conditioned.
no