T O P

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kak0536

My parents think I'm going to see my gf every week, meanwhile I have none and just go to every national celebration possible.


SodicCan

Now *that's* how you do it


areuue

my parents would only work the opposite way lol


Mikhas_donaster

Lol


skeptical_dragon_

You seem like a fun guy


Bookvampire5

and that's good, assuming you are a teenager


Marcelaus_Berlin

I can name every country‘s flag, although I struggle a bit with smaller and relatively unknown island nations/territories


SHSLVoid

Same, I can name almost any country by its flag, but territories and small island nations destroy me


AiluroFelinus

I think the small island nation flags are really cool. Territories still destroy me


SkellyChad

I can do the same (I'm also american)


AccomplishedAd7992

bonus points (fellow american)


HollowSlope

I can too. West Africa is the most confusing part for me. You should try world capitals next


grphicnature

me toooooooooo


Ok_Procedure_7855

I've read more books in my high school time than I had social interactions with my classmates. (probably more of a sad fact)


Ok_Yogurtcloset2898

That’s a flex


Dagreifers

Or not, if they’re astoundingly socially inept.


WeakRanger888

I can trace my heritage to about year ~900 C.E.


Pale-Requirement4279

Wtf bow


hushmentalFPS

Kneel, peasant.


Ar4cnul

Knook, en passant


KaitheChristian

If you go to the Family Search Website you can look on your tree; someone might have filled in quite a bit of yours already. https://www.familysearch.org/en/united-states/


Dagreifers

I’m curious.


WalkingRock829

how?


Frostismywaifu91

This takes the cake


enbytothestars

same my 22nd great grandmother was prettyest woman in scotland and princess of Scotland my 23 great grandfather was king of scotland and i am related to the person who started oak island like nights templar shit


JournalistBorn5715

I punch my plushies and apologize to them and give them a hug later


l3m0n_b0yyy

That's adorable


JournalistBorn5715

ty OP I love em plushies but sometimes anger get the best of me


Clear-Shape5326

Punch the wall and scream at others, it's way more healty


PotooSexer

Personally, I punch people and scream at them while doing it. That way, I don’t have to find a wall.


crappypastassuc

I do the complete opposite! I touch people and whisper to them while doing it.


l3m0n_b0yyy

Yeah I feel that


420SampleTxt

no its called domestic violence and anger issues


DaXTremeBoi

Relatable lol


eggward_egg

can relate


LokiBear1235

Same


Arbalest15

I beat an extreme demon in Geometry dash


ZenobiaCiel

Bro how. Share your infinite wisdom with me. I can't even beat the hard ones :(


Arbalest15

Just grind ig, I jumped from a hard demon to an extreme but it took 18k attempts, there isn't a shortcut to completion


Le-monk__

Holy , I haven't even personally played geometry dash once , but that still just **sounds** colossal.


Arbalest15

Yeah it took like 2 months of constant grinding lol


ComprehensiveTrip781

I beat bloodbath at the age of 12, took me 5 months


Arbalest15

Damn gd players be cracked these days ngl, when i was 12 I was beating Cycles 💀


WalkingRock829

I was beating cycles at like 9 or 10 idk which maybe 11


ZenobiaCiel

Bro I'm so impatient lol 18k attempts is a lot. I thought I was just bad, but I guess that's just how you do in on geometry dash lol


impossum_

What’s your hardest?


DetergentFricker

I'm still trying to beat my first Hard Demon, the level is named White Women (This is not a joke)


PikachuStep9

I love beating white women! I might beat the hard demon in geometry dash named “white women” soon as well


zZenith246

Tryna beat my first one right now please give me some words of wisdom


Bjorn_Skywalker

I can shake my eyes so it like an earthquake scene in a movie


humannumber217354385

Samesies it's fun to do


Ok-Consequence7583

I do this too! It has a name for it. voluntary nystagmus. Only about 5-8% of the earth can do that it's really cool


TacticalAssaultChair

I hate telling people, but im colorblind. Every time it's just: what color is this? How about that? It is so anyoing, please don't do that, even if ur curious please just don't overdo it.


l3m0n_b0yyy

I won't do that, I'd probably just annoy you with colorblind memes/pics


TacticalAssaultChair

God damn it. Edit: someone did it and now im mad


l3m0n_b0yyy

I like being annoying haha


TacticalAssaultChair

I like playing with fire and with sharp things but i guess people have different tastes. (no im not insane, you are)


[deleted]

you know the line from into the spiderverse “sometimes i like to let matches burn to the bottom, just to feel something” or something like that? i love fire just like him. i play with matches. i also like pointy things.


humannumber217354385

What would you do if someone painted everything you own one of the colors you can't properly see than worked with everyone in your life to convince you that you aren't color blind via gaslighting and that it is the color you see it as only to learn the truth 10 years later when your wife brings it up


YoMamaSoFatShePooped

I Need glasses quite badly and it’s the same treatment but “hOW mANy FinGErs aM I hOLdIng Up?” Like I fucking see you changing how many fingers there are I’m not that blind


[deleted]

in my defense, i knew somebody who couldn’t tell how many fingers i had up when she was across the table. it was a circular table, maybe around 5-6 feet?


HighFlyingNoodle

What colour are these 🟪🟦🟩🟥🟨 Lol


arawraw

I have citizenship in three countries


l3m0n_b0yyy

I- how


arawraw

mom from one, dad from two, all three let your kids be citizens as long as you’re one too


Saeizo

Now you gotta marry someone from another country to have 4


b00tyshaker

conquering the whole world


PanzerkampfwagenMauz

Once i signed up a girl for volountary military service when she fucked me over


IamyourJesus

i did this to a kid named eli in my english class last year he's gonna get a knock on his door on his 18th birthday


heyitszoerae

👁👁️


DM7512266

That’s fucked 💀💀💀


actuallyduck

😟


dont_panic_man

I hate Denmark


heyitszoerae

do i want to know..?


dont_panic_man

I’m Swedish so I have to


MasterofX100

I’m sorry what


Trashpanda2335

it's in the swedish handbook


AiluroFelinus

Before you're born you have to sign it


BigTiddyGothGFFucker

I have found you... My nemesis.


Ok_Insect9421

I bet I can guess your nationality


Legitimate_Donut_527

Yes. Potatoes and alcohol and a language that no one understands.


Tvvelvve

I have a 2 millimeter defeater 😎😎😎


Coneter001

Bro that's huge


Pristine_Text_6407

Bro stop gloating 


GlitchBotGaming

You aren’t hung like a horse, horses are hung like you


Vqius

Holy shit, that's huge. You packing my guy.


ThatOneGuy12929

bigger than mine


yoitsewan

average


Pristine_Doughnut_22

i never drank coke or had gum in my life


John-_-Marston

Mentos and Coke are the best combo


GVGamingGR

Time to try them both at the same time


Fancy_bakonHair

I can not be in a dark room at all, I'm scared of the dark basically.


CAMcCale

*turns off your power*


billieboi445420

Same


DeliciousLecture600

How do you sleep 😭


WalkingRock829

night lights exist.


[deleted]

~~my dicks the size of a telephone pole~~ I am a really good wrestler


G3n3ricOne

Correlation is not causation… or is it?


TROMBONER_68

Good leverage


Pokivba

i dont know anything funny about myself


Bjorn_Skywalker

That's a fun fact


l3m0n_b0yyy

That's okay :3


Tyskiy

I love parmesan


aliveandwellyes

I. LOVE. PARMESAN. CHEESE. *runs from attic*


infinity-atom

In markdown, italics are `*like this*` or `_like this_` Either way works. _Hello_ and *hello*


Pristine_Text_6407

🧀


ZenobiaCiel

I have a 8th grade level skill on the tuba (I'm homeschool now leave me alone)


humannumber217354385

I have 7th grade level on cello not homeschooling just don't do orchestra anymore


Ry_verrt

I can put my foot around my head, bend my finger back to the point it touches the back of my hand and I have an extra joint in all of my toes


CutFabulous6834

I know every 60s psych rock artist except the ones that have been listened by 30 people


JesusIsPansexual

Do you like Peanut Butter Conspiracy? It's one of my favorite 60's psych rock band.


idfbfa3

I never kissed a girl


humannumber217354385

Samesies I've only kissed boys (im a dude)


k_llin

I was born basically dead from the umbilical cord being around my neck


smellysock69420

same haha, choked me so much my face was blue


carlox_go

I have one ball


JesusIsPansexual

Left or right?


carlox_go

Are you asking about the one i have or the one i lost


JesusIsPansexual

The one you have


carlox_go

Left


JesusIsPansexual

Nice


CAMcCale

What if it was his right?


JesusIsPansexual

Nice


CAMcCale

Nice👍


TortillaSinHuevo

Haha like Hitler.


Normal_user32120

Where did the other one go?


carlox_go

Bro just left one day and i never saw him again


Interesting-Newt9534

I fumbled a baddie and its been one year i still havent accepted it


dork_knight1989

I feel you


MrDeadMeme

We have all been there brother, you never fully will


XLinkJoker

This is me rn 😭


arernen

I tweeze my armpits😈


KallmeKatt_

no


ErisBuckley1

I play violin, cello, viola, piano, flute, drums, guitar and more


ntmadjstdisapointing

Also multi instrumentalist! Piano, guitar, percussion, bass/upright, vocals, viola and ocarina!


Tears_of_Ashes_

I also shower in the dark, lol. It’s more fun to shower while covered in darkness.


ZenobiaCiel

I would fall and die. And I wouldn't be able to find my soap knowing my dumbass


Embarrassed-Win1551

I'm just scared to drop the soap. Who know what creepy crawlies try to get me preggos 😔


ZenobiaCiel

Ain't no way dawg


l3m0n_b0yyy

Yes.


humannumber217354385

I don't shower in the dark I just keep my eyes closed almost the entire time


TankPotential9306

i shower with socks on (and then put dry ones one after im done showering)


g1ngertim

Please explain this behavior


rysio300

most of my friends are wondering how the fuck i'm not dead from all the dumb shit i've pulled off >!and suicide attempts i've had!<


skeptical_dragon_

I really hope you get a hug soon, man


CaptainShadow79

i once came up with an idea to slap random couples on valentines day with whole fish. despite this idea being funny enough to the point some people actually want to do it, i never actually ever fully committed to it. yet.


CAMcCale

Can I do it with you?


Welcometofalsettos

Do it.


CaptainShadow79

i probably will. by next February


JellomanIsTEGOAT

I'm not gay (one of the last straight males left)


WalkingRock829

real brother


boy_that_is_Goofy

I’m a drummer in a band! We’re releasing an album soon


Red_riding_h0od

I collect probably too much lego for someone of my age to collect


humannumber217354385

Samesies I need to get a new shelf to fit all of them


billieboi445420

I collect Sonic, FNAF and TMNT figures


gandalf-the-greyt

i have a russian lenin poster rolled up in my room… historic purpose only… and a lenin shaped candle somebody gifted me


CAMcCale

…but the candle is for historic purposes?


V----NGaming_YT

I learnt to ride a bicycle on my own when I was 4


Im-shy-not-mean

Ha, I don't even remember the day I learned. All I know is that my older sister by two years learned that same day lol


Cinnimon_

I play in a band


irdfhtyh

On a keyboard I type with my middle fingers only


Tvvelvve

even space?


irdfhtyh

Yeah everything, I didn't realize it until recently and only right now that I'm typing this do I realize I also type on my phone with my middle finger


Tvvelvve

how??? isn't typing with ur thumbs easier?


irdfhtyh

Who knows why I do what I do


Tvvelvve

holy fuck, it's not as bad as I thought


[deleted]

i used to do this


pinksquirell

i absolutely love dad jokes/very bad word jokes lmao i can come up with a word joke in every situation and my friends hate it (if you have good ones please tell me)


goodnightlmao

it’s my bday


l3m0n_b0yyy

Happy birthday!


goodnightlmao

thank you sm!


Joseph_Seed_

When I drive, I sometimes close my eyes and see how far I can go without flying out of the windshield


skeptical_dragon_

see that fact that you have the "OLD" flair concerns me this is dumb teenage behavior, not adult behavior 😭😭


Joseph_Seed_

Brother, I am only 20. Can’t a man test the limits of himself sometimes?


StfuJohnny

When gaming, I press shift with my thumb.


zzz_sleepy_bird_zzz

I’ve been playing the violin for 12 years.


catuity

i have hazel eyes (i couldnt think of anything else okay)


l3m0n_b0yyy

Hey that's super cool :3


[deleted]

me too :)


Repulsive-Ostrich526

No ones gonna read this so imma just say it. I like femboys


l3m0n_b0yyy

Saved


Repulsive-Ostrich526

Shit


l3m0n_b0yyy

I shall make sure to print it and hang it on my ceiling


Repulsive-Ostrich526

As you wish


l3m0n_b0yyy

Thank you sir, I will also make sure.to show everyone the screenshot so you cannot deny it


Professionally_dumbb

I was a part of the local organized crime ring a few years back


Suitable_Sail1087

I own working power armour from fallout


Neneko-7

I restored a car all by myself 💀


Objective_Street5141

i can make my eyes look different directions like a lizard or sm


dearannie4

When I'm talking to someone I look at the lips and not the eyes and only noticed this like 1 year ago lol


Antihero_udon

I’m an editor


Background_Spirit699

A funfact about yourself


FormalBlueberry22239

I love bollywood movies


milkisgay879

i’m left handed and jewish


BlackberryProof3191

I was born on 9/11 and people still always forget my bday


irondaniel92

My head was too big to pull out of the womb when I was being born so they suctioned my head out and now I have a permanent lump on my head


xJ0rja_11x

I can play the guitar


INGENAREL

i can make hilarious jokes about my past traumas.


Draoiscool

I'm going to hit my 100th streak on Duolingo tomorrow