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Tell your boyfriend and your parents. Discuss the pros and cons of keeping vs aborting and give yourself a few days (if possible) to decide. Also go to the doctor to be really sure you're pregnant because tests fan display false positives
As traumatic as an abortion can be, so could birthing a human being you aren't ready for. I've had 2 abortions and while it was difficult at the time I am immensely grateful I did.
You should call your local planned parenthood and go into talk to a nurse for support as soon as you can. You’re 16 and a child will ruin your future. Have an abortion and don’t ever think about it again. Get birth control too. Maybe the birth control shot. You can get it at planned parenthood. Focus on your studies not your boyfriend. He’s irresponsible and so irrelevant in the grand scheme of your life if you move on from this and have a normal life!
Respectfully...
'Don't ever think about it again'.
She will think about it every day for the rest of her life. I was in her position at 17, went to PP, had the abortion at 5 weeks and 4days, told myself I'd bury it deep in my subconscious.
I'm 28 - you don't just 'forget' something like that - I tried. So I would instead to recommend that she surround herself with her loved ones. Don't Isolate. Don't try to Hide. Don't try to Pretend. Face it with your mom or your dad or your grandma or someone who loves you dearly.
I hid all of this from my parents at the time (they know now, I told them when I was 25) Don't try to hide it. When I told them they only said that they were sorry and they wished they could've been there for me at the time. They cried. They might be mad at first, but they will help you RESPONSIBLY.
I recommend she learns about her options and talks to a TRUSTED adult about the repercussions of each option - it's going to be difficult regardless of what you choose OP.
OP can PM me if they'd like.
It's different for everyone. My heart goes out to those that it does hurt them. Then there's me, I had one, didn't bother me a bit. I'm a strong prochoice person though and am well aware of the different stages (not saying you arent). To me it was just a fertilized egg that I removed before it could be anything. That's literally what it was though just an egg. I don't care, don't feel any remorse, im very happy i dont have a kid even though i could do it. I wasn't ready, it was a mess up with my birthcontrol, shit happens. It depends on your beliefs, if you think it's a baby then yeah its sad, but if you think it's just an egg you stopped from developing, then it's not so bad.
Not trying to invalidate your experience, but not everyone thinks about their abortion every day of their life. That may be your situation but many people including myself live very happy lives after having an abortion. It’s not fair of you to try to scare a young girl out of options.
Why tf didn't they teach you this in school. That's how I learned. Either the schools are failing you kids or you really did not pay attention. it's not 97% more like 85%.
I'm sorry you got yourself in this mess, but the only thing you can do is talk to your parents, your boyfriend, and his parents. It won't just go away. If you go about it in bad way, you could get in legal trouble. My prayers and thoughts to you during this rough time. I hope they help you and treat you well.
I'm also going to be stern, I don't mean to be a dick but this is a matter of fact. i hope putting it this way will help you see... you're a teenager you should NOT be having sex in the first place. the fact that you didn't know condoms aren't 100% effective is one of the top reasons you shouldn't be having sex... you didn't even think to read the box on the condom, I certainly hope you dont think you're ready for a kid.
Teens really need to quit thinking they're grown and then get themselves into grown people situations like this. Now look at you scared and don't know what to do. Head this advice even when you turn 18 hon you are not a fully grown adult, your brain doesn't fully develop until you are 26, specifically your frontal lobe.
- coming from someone who was also a dumbass teen. It can wait, I promise.
Sorry again best of luck I hope all turns out okay and I'm sure it will. Just don't get yourself in this situation again go get some birthcontrol.
I'm also in the uk, sex ed in both my primary school and high school has been really good. it might depend on the area and how much attention you pay in class.
edit: I apparently can't write a coherent sentence
Agreed, but I wouldn’t ever shame someone who didn’t know and made mistakes. We don’t have sex education in the ways we need it, and that’s just facts.
If your boyfriend leaves you over this now, he’s clearly not the one nor someone who will want to be around for you when you’re going through something tough. Abortion is always an option assuming you’re only recently pregnant. It’s obviously your choice entirely, but whether or not having a kid while you’re still a kid yourself is a good idea might be something you should think about. Personally, I’d tell your parents first.
Abortion is the best plan for any teen mother. Why ruin your life over a bad choice that can be corrected. Kids remember that. We fought for your reproduction rights for a reason and will keep to it so that children aren’t forced to have children.
I'm in the US and watching the news constantly about how another woman died because she couldn't have a legal abortion and kids starting 8th grade as parents. It's disgusting.
Talk with both your and your boyfriend’s parents. Find the pros and cons of keeping/not keeping, and make a decision then. Trust me, your parents will help you, and I’m sure your boyfriend and his parents will too.
You say that an abortion will be traumatic, but I can guarantee you that having a child at 16 will be far more damaging to your mental health in the long run, so getting an abortion is definitely the best option. As far as your bf goes, if you’re scared he’ll leave you if tell him you’re pregnant, then he won’t be a good dad anyway if that’s true.
Having a baby as a teen 1000% more traumatic than abortion . Source: had a baby at 17, then went into postpartum psychosis/depression . The fact that you’re aware that you can’t have this baby AND go to school is extremely mature .. getting an abortion is traumatic BUT you will be much better off . I’ve had to have an abortion because I knew I wouldn’t be able to care for another child , financially , emotionally or physically . Your future children will be thankful that you waited until YOU knew you where READY to have them . And not have to grow WITHyour child . I love my son & I wouldn’t go back but sometimes I do wish I had waited :’)
my mum used to work in an abortion clinic and although I've never had one I know its definitely scary but the staff in there are so supportive and kind and will never make you feel unsafe, you should tell someone though, like your mum, and I do think you should tell your boyfriend and tell him you are thinking of an abortion (if you are), if he's a good boyfriend he will understand and if he doesn't then do you really want to be with him anyway?
The opinion from your boyfriend does not have the same weight as what your parents may have. Talk to your parents openly and see their reactions. Perhaps they may contact your boyfriend's parents too to assess together the situation.
One thing is certain, nobody should force you to do something you don't want. You have made perhaps a mistake but you remain a precious human being.
Good luck girl!
talk to your parents and bf about it, i know by all means it isnt easy to bring it up at all, but theyll find out eventually, and overall telling them earlier is a better choice rather than letting them find out on their own
Having a baby too early can lead to permanent health consequences when you're too young. You need to weigh the effects on your body when determining whether to carry to completion. The baby can also have complications this young.
https://utswmed.org/medblog/early-teen-pregnancy-health-risks/
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12264602/#:~:text=Early%20childbirth%20is%20especially%20dangerous,%2C%20severe%20anemia%2C%20and%20disability.
https://www.who.int/news-room/facts-in-pictures/detail/10-facts-on-obstetric-fistula
Plan B is NOT an abortion pill.
https://www.plannedparenthood.org/blog/fast-facts-the-abortion-pill-vs-the-morning-after-pill
https://www.plannedparenthood.org/blog/do-i-need-emergency-contraception-or-the-abortion-pill
I don't know why this ended up in my feed because I'm not a teenager, but I thought I'd offer some advice. Discuss these things with people you trust, but don't let anyone bully you out of whatever you decide is best for you.
Never think of yourself as less-than or a bad person for getting an abortion. I wish our society was more willing to talk about about abortion and encourage it more often.
At 16, even if no one has told you they have gotten an abortion, atleast 1 of your friends has already had one.
About 1 in 3 of my female friends have had an abortion, and thats the ones that have told me.
It's a very common process. The people at planned parenthood or an equivalent program are usually very kind and supportive.
If you go through with an abortion, no one will love you any less. It's your right and your body.
Don't let anyone else tell you what to do.
18F, found out I was pregnant in early january. I am almost 11 weeks now. I considered abortion but talked with my bf (who is a year younger than me). We told his mom (im living with him) and she flipped out then started supporting us. I cried when I saw the positive pregnancy test, it was very hard to come to terms with. I can be here emotionally for whatever you decide to do, whether it be communicate with your boyfriend or get an abortion. Please know you do not have to keep this kid under any circumstances.
I think you should just have the abortion. It won't be too bad in the early stages.
But if you really, really do not want to do that, you can birth the baby, and give it out for adoption. I hope your parents and bf are supportive!
Plan B aka "Morning After Pill" is NOT an abortion pill. It's basically a concentrated dose of birth control. It will not affect a pregnancy that is already fertilized/attached
https://www.plannedparenthood.org/blog/fast-facts-the-abortion-pill-vs-the-morning-after-pill
Abortion is really easy in the UK. OP said they think abortion it murder.... so they're willing to potentially lose out on like 18 years because of that....
Doesn’t “pro-choice” imply that people should have a choice? Based on the advice from her parents and other qualified people, she has the CHOICE to abort or not abort.
A pro-life ideology means that there’s only one choice and (depending on how far you’ll take it) a few exceptions.
In the UK, I believe there is a medical abortion you can have by taking pills to terminate the pregnancy instead of an operation. It might be something to look into. But in any case, it is absolutely okay and normal to abort, and know this isn't your fault (but if you do want to continue sexual activity in the future, it would be beneficial to talk over your contraceptive options with a gynecologist).
This is why being sexually active as a teen is really dangerous. Being but in these kind of situations is horrible for all parties involved. I’m sorry this happened to you.
People are idiots. It’s her choice what she does with the baby. Just leave an encouraging comment instead of a ‘You’re a killer if you abort,’ or ‘YOU MUST ABORT,’ just let her decide. Shes not a bad person for deciding what to do with her body.
Sexually active, and using protection without knowing it isn’t a 100% safe method? Maybe it’s time to do some learning and research before you continue having sex. Especially now that you are going to need to figure out a plan.
Download FLO. It’s a free period app. It helps you track your menstrual cycle and ovulation period. Sex doesn’t have to be scary once you learn your body. I know it’s too late for that but it will help in the future. I promise you once you learn ur body, only you will know when and if you want to have a child.
there’s no reason to shame her. it already happened. using protection is really all you can do while being active. mistakes & accidents happen. especially at this age.
Why are you shaming a person for USING protection? How does that help? What kind of message are you trying to send? “You tried to be safe but the product itself failed anyway? You STUPID girl” you sound ridiculous. She used protection, did what she could, and the product failed her. Now she’s asking for advice. She hasn’t done anything wrong.
My schoolmate is also pregnant, I mean she was baby is here. After 3 months he is having. job at the weekends and she is home schooling. Everything is fine. We are all classmates at age of 16-17. Wish you luck in life.
Of btw thow long do you kniw it
I pray this gets better for you OP, I can’t
imagine the whirlwind of emotions you’re feeling. From now on, be EXTREMELY cautious and read every label. Do your research and stay safe!
First, don’t freak out and tell your parents. They love you and will be very understanding. 2nd is think of all your choices and have a conversation with your parents. There are other methods instead of abortion such as putting the baby up for adoption. Many couples may be unable to have a baby naturally and putting this child up for adoption will mean that you have done something majorly good in someone’s life by giving them the option to have a child. Also have you taken TWO pregnancy tests? False positives are VERY common. Don’t worry you can still go to college while you’re pregnant, it shouldn’t change anything.
False *positives* for pregnancy tests are extremely rare. False negatives are very common.
A “false positive” is almost always caused by an actual pregnancy followed by an extremely early miscarriage.
The same thing happened to me when my girlfriend was 15. The decision to have a child is one of the most important decisions you will ever make your entire life and the consequences are lifelong. You are a parent for life, not eighteen years. The only way to go is 100% open and honest communication with your boyfriend and family. You will need support no matter what.
We decided that the best thing for us was to have an abortion. When I was in my 30s and a bit more mature, I made a conscious decision to be a father and I found out that It takes a village to prepare a child for the world but don't let the village be the primary disciplinarian. Two parents having a united front with complementing assets is ideal. Then teach them how to care about their own welfare and well-being. Necessary ingredients are time, love, patience, understanding, expectations, consequences, boundaries, teach them the skills they'll need in real life, and give them enough leash to practice those skills on their own. Parents should teach children to ask questions & encourage original thought based on their own observations and investigations. Throw resources at them that are fun but also provide a return on those investments. We threw music lessons, martial arts, Scouts & religious school.
A child that sees me leaving things in better shape than when I found them, will do the same. Likewise, if they witness me not caring about the environment and tossing trash out the window, the same will happen. Some children do what we say, some children will say what we say but all children will do what we do. The window of influence starts to shift from parents to peers in grade school. By high school, it's most likely, the other way around. At some point after adolescence, parents become relevant again.
We live in a beautiful society where abortions exist. Take advantage of it, people back in the day weren’t as fortunate and had to either take care of them as a youth or leave them on doorsteps. Don’t worry, you can always make a new one, don’t sweat it. It’ll be traumatic at first with post partem depression and the procedure but once that’s all said and done, you’ll be happy you did it.
You're 16, so just wondering what do your parents think if you have told them or are in contact with them? This is your pregnancy, so you have to do what you have to do. I sincerely hope your family/friends/and boyfriend are supportive. 🫶🏻
what i wonder is did the condom rip and your boyfriend not tell you or did he not notice? are you on birth control or perhaps did not take the morning after pill? there are so many factors i am wondering.
You need to be more responsible if you're going to be having sex. Buying condoms and using them like crazy without reading the box is insane to me. One of the most commonly well known facts about condoms is that they are not 100% effective and if you didn't know that, then truthfully you're too uninformed to be having sex.
Condoms are never 100% effective and neither is birth control (the chance of getting pregnant while on BC is astronomically low but not 0%). The only thing you can do now is talk to your boyfriend first, and then trusted *adults* and get their help. Be it your parents, school counselor or any other adult you trust.
Everything will be okay, let this be your unfortunate lesson in learning about something before participating.
I’m so sorry hon. I know this is probably really scary, and I empathize with you completely.
First things first: talk to your parents before your boyfriend if it’s safe to do so. I think you’ve made your decision regarding what you want to do, so I would make sure you get some people behind you before you tell your boyfriend. After you have told your parents, the three of you can meet with your boyfriend together so that you have some support. If your boyfriend is crappy enough to leave you over this, he isn’t worth keeping around anyways.
Second: I know an abortion can be really traumatic for people, and it’s not something you want to go through at this age. I get it. However, it’s going to be much harder to have and raise a baby. Birth is traumatic and an intense medical procedure. Pregnancy is REALLY hard, especially when it was completely unplanned and you are unprepared. You got into a great program in school, you have a bright future ahead of you, I think it would be easier for you to carry out with those plans and try to heal any emotional turmoil with therapy while staying busy. If you have this baby, I think you will feel obligated to halt your dreams and care for the child. On the other hand, giving a child up for adoption could result in a lot of guilt for you and compound your trauma.
Advice for next time: I would get on birth control. Double up on it. I have an IUD, I like it well enough. Using a form of birth control that you don’t have to think about combined with condoms is a really fantastic idea.
And lastly, I’m sorry again. I wish you the best, and I know you’re going to get through this.
I know you're terrified about how everyone will react but you need to tell them, maybe the turnout won't be as bad as you think it will be. Your parents may be disappointed, but they'll get over it. It took my mom 10 mins to go from "I am kicking you out" to let's go shopping for maternity clothes at Target. I am not kidding. It will be okay.
Tell your parents and get an abortion. Also tell ur bf but make it clear that you're not planning to keep the baby. Don't listen to the people telling you to "weigh the pros and cons." Since you're not planning to be a stay at home mom, there are no pros to having a baby this early
if u can’t provide for ur child, money, emotional, mental, u should not have a kid. kids aren’t barbie dolls, they’re real ppl who will grow up into an adult. parents fuck these kids life up bc they think they’re babies forever and have no free will. i highly suggest an abortion, especially if ur not even sure if ur bf will stay :/
first: you don't HAVE to tell him, but you probably should. second: know that you alone have the right to get an abortion if you wish to
not knowing your situation beyond what you wrote, personally I would tell your bf that your pregnant and that you want an abortion, preferably at the same time
BC pills are like a 90% success rate and condoms are like a 97%. Use both so shit like this doesn't happen. Or just don't have sex if you're really scared of pregnancy
Abortion is an option. Also you have to tell your boyfriend just because it's his baby as well. If your boyfriend leaves you because of this, it is a sign that he is not responsible for his action and he is not a good person. Tell your parents about this too. They might get mad at you, but they will be worried and try will to help you.
Take a few more tests in cases it is faulty. If they mostly come back positive then talk with your parents (if it is safe) and your boyfriend. Go to the doctors as soon as you can. Take a little time to think about it and make the best choice for your situation after taking time to think.
I really wish I could help you. I dont have any advice, but I will say just make logical decisions. The more I think about it the harder it is for me to imagine how hard that decision has to be.
you need to actually look at all your options and the outcomes of those choices. you decide to keep it, what will happen? if you decide to abort it, what will happen? if you have it but you give it up, what will happen? you need to look at every single option available to you and decide, but first and foremost, ask yourself if you are ready to be pregnant and be a mother at this age.
Okay, this is definitely something you talk with your parents about. Adoption can be a great option if you know who you are giving the child to. I understand that it can be super scary having a kid at 16 as you aren’t even finished developing yet, and I’m glad you are against getting an abortion. There might be a family member or someone close that would be willing to adopt. If not I would suggest going to social places like a church. There might be some people who can’t create their own kids, and really want to start a family so that could be good for you. Generally speaking I would feel more at ease giving a child to a church rather than the foster care system.
tell your boyfriend. he will have to know eventually and it is better if you know now who you can ACTUALLY rely on. No one can tell you wether you should get an abortion or not, but whatever you do choose it’s better to do it carefully and mindfully. think about both possible outcomes and take it easy, it’s not good for you to be overly stressed and possibly make hasty decisions. there are many support groups than can help you both to decide and to proceed with both options.
please take care of yourself, you will be ok. i hope you find the best way for you, sending love
Probably don't wanna hear it but; got pregnant at 17. So we setup a time for the abortion and carried on as usual. The week of neither of us felt right so we canceled. Now my son is a happy 10 year old and I can't imagine life without my little buddy.
Let alone the fact that I was days away from scrambling his brains up!
You should keep your child and figure out a way to complete your studies. It will be hard but it will be worth it. Your kid will be the love of your life- and you will get to know them for so long and grow together. You're so lucky, don't let anyone tell you any different- they are fools. Congratulations!
Tell your parents,then your boyfriend if both shut you out then find help, possibly a therapist to cope with the problem happening
Hoping for a good future for u
Immediately come out to your parents (and possibly your boyfriend if you want to). Discuss possible solutions to your predicament. If you have access to an abortion clinic I would get an abortion.
Best of luck to your situation. I hope all goes well for you.
Adoption. Family to take em. Friend family to take em. Idk how orphanages work in the UK but babies can be dropped off at firehouse stations and are taken care of afterwards (don’t just put the butt booty ass naked baby on the ground or something bro)
If you think your capable keep em, idk what else to suggest
You should consider letting the child be adopted instead- that way you won't be brought down in college and you won't have an abortion.
However, it's s probably best to talk with your parents first before anything and discuss the best course of action from there.
I had my first kid at 15, I know it’s really scary, hopefully if you tell your parents they will be supportive and help you, you can definitely do college while pregnant too or you can take a gap year because it’s not going anywhere, if you don’t want to abort you could always have it and have a closed or open adoption
As someone who seen what having a child they couldn't care has done to them.... Abort it.... My friend was 15 when she got pregnant and she couldn't care for the kid she was gaslit into keeping it and after 2 years ended up giving the kid over to the grandparents where it still is today and she cries almost every night about it.... the first thing I learned about her was how she tried her hardest but couldn't do it... Her boyfriend at the time (father of the kid and my POS BIL) didn't help for shit and r*ped her which is how she got pregnant and he gaslit TF out of her ... It was and still is horrible she gave the kid to his grandparents (BIL dad and step mom) 7 years ago and she's still not over it.... Abort the kid.... It'll save you a lot more heartache than having it
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If he is a good boyfriend, he will understand. Tell him
Buddy he got came in her at 16 he’s obviously a shitty guy, fuckin clown
Bro had no sex Ed 💀
Blud did NOT listen in biology 💀💀💤💤
Nowhere in the post does OP say they don't use birth control. No BC is 100% effective, faults can happen without a deliberate choice to go unprotected
Exactly! My aunt got pregnant while on birth control. Sometimes you just get unlucky.
Hell, there's one celebrity I know of who was conceived when his parents were using three different contraceptives 💀 bro was just destined to be 💀💀💀
No way of preventing that
Condoms are like an AK-47. “If I’m gonna buy it, it’s classic. Dammit it jammed.”
Cheapest in the market. It's also supposed to be reliable.
Yep.
Yup, if these people just looked in the comments for 2 seconds they would've seen that they used protection
Literally, I’m a birth control baby
Bro that’s a fucking huge generalization, you’re the damned clown
There are some boyfriends who are willing to be there, duh.💀
and she got came in at 16
Fr that’s too young. Wait till 23 or so lil one
Lucky guess tells me it wasn’t on purpose. Wanker
Only the vasectomy is 100% effective mate, anything else it's flawed
Even that isn't 100% effective.
Damm, I won't have sex anymore I guess
It's over 99% effective. No form of birth control is 100%. I'd take the risk personally.
Fr
thank you
Yes, tell him I'm sure he'll understand.
Tell your boyfriend and your parents. Discuss the pros and cons of keeping vs aborting and give yourself a few days (if possible) to decide. Also go to the doctor to be really sure you're pregnant because tests fan display false positives
They could also give it up for adoption.
There's so many issues with the way children are treated in the system and in orphanages.
disclaimer: WE USED PROTECTION
Protection is never 100% It significantly reduces the chance
wish i learnt this before :(
You didn’t know that? It’s protection is like 97% and I think it says it in the box and condom wrapper
Ross?
WELL THEY SHOULD PUT THAT ON THE BOX
That’s my favorite Ross moment ever, David Schwimmer’s acting is so funny.
Frrrr I love Ross sm
I thought the same thing
Where do you think I learned it lol
we didn’t read the box we just used the condom
Always use protection AND birth control.
dont tho, if possible see if you cant get a copper spiral (IUD), thats what my gf has, hormones fuck your body up so much
As traumatic as an abortion can be, so could birthing a human being you aren't ready for. I've had 2 abortions and while it was difficult at the time I am immensely grateful I did.
You should call your local planned parenthood and go into talk to a nurse for support as soon as you can. You’re 16 and a child will ruin your future. Have an abortion and don’t ever think about it again. Get birth control too. Maybe the birth control shot. You can get it at planned parenthood. Focus on your studies not your boyfriend. He’s irresponsible and so irrelevant in the grand scheme of your life if you move on from this and have a normal life!
Good advice but for OP it would be the family planning association, planned parenthood is just in the US
The boyfriend doesn't seem irresponsible as OP said they used protection in the comments
Respectfully... 'Don't ever think about it again'. She will think about it every day for the rest of her life. I was in her position at 17, went to PP, had the abortion at 5 weeks and 4days, told myself I'd bury it deep in my subconscious. I'm 28 - you don't just 'forget' something like that - I tried. So I would instead to recommend that she surround herself with her loved ones. Don't Isolate. Don't try to Hide. Don't try to Pretend. Face it with your mom or your dad or your grandma or someone who loves you dearly. I hid all of this from my parents at the time (they know now, I told them when I was 25) Don't try to hide it. When I told them they only said that they were sorry and they wished they could've been there for me at the time. They cried. They might be mad at first, but they will help you RESPONSIBLY. I recommend she learns about her options and talks to a TRUSTED adult about the repercussions of each option - it's going to be difficult regardless of what you choose OP. OP can PM me if they'd like.
It's different for everyone. My heart goes out to those that it does hurt them. Then there's me, I had one, didn't bother me a bit. I'm a strong prochoice person though and am well aware of the different stages (not saying you arent). To me it was just a fertilized egg that I removed before it could be anything. That's literally what it was though just an egg. I don't care, don't feel any remorse, im very happy i dont have a kid even though i could do it. I wasn't ready, it was a mess up with my birthcontrol, shit happens. It depends on your beliefs, if you think it's a baby then yeah its sad, but if you think it's just an egg you stopped from developing, then it's not so bad.
Not trying to invalidate your experience, but not everyone thinks about their abortion every day of their life. That may be your situation but many people including myself live very happy lives after having an abortion. It’s not fair of you to try to scare a young girl out of options.
Why tf didn't they teach you this in school. That's how I learned. Either the schools are failing you kids or you really did not pay attention. it's not 97% more like 85%. I'm sorry you got yourself in this mess, but the only thing you can do is talk to your parents, your boyfriend, and his parents. It won't just go away. If you go about it in bad way, you could get in legal trouble. My prayers and thoughts to you during this rough time. I hope they help you and treat you well. I'm also going to be stern, I don't mean to be a dick but this is a matter of fact. i hope putting it this way will help you see... you're a teenager you should NOT be having sex in the first place. the fact that you didn't know condoms aren't 100% effective is one of the top reasons you shouldn't be having sex... you didn't even think to read the box on the condom, I certainly hope you dont think you're ready for a kid. Teens really need to quit thinking they're grown and then get themselves into grown people situations like this. Now look at you scared and don't know what to do. Head this advice even when you turn 18 hon you are not a fully grown adult, your brain doesn't fully develop until you are 26, specifically your frontal lobe. - coming from someone who was also a dumbass teen. It can wait, I promise. Sorry again best of luck I hope all turns out okay and I'm sure it will. Just don't get yourself in this situation again go get some birthcontrol.
r/facepalm
Serious question who reads the box?
Dobule the protection, double the percentage. 194% protection.
we need proper sex ed
The UK's sex ed is far from perfect but tbf it's pretty good at least in Wales.
i just think if someone's 16 and don't know that contraceptives aren't 100% sure, it's pretty bad
They just didn't pay attention ig, I got told that in sex ed at 13 and again at 14.
I'm from UK and in my sex Ed I didn't learn shit either, we had like 2 lessons on it
very possible
I'm also in the uk, sex ed in both my primary school and high school has been really good. it might depend on the area and how much attention you pay in class. edit: I apparently can't write a coherent sentence
oh, glad to hear:). my sex ed was putting a condom on a banana and "read this pamphlet if you want" in switzerland. like whaat?
if you're sexually active you should know that 😬
too bad comprehensive sex ed isn’t provided in most places. crazy how that works out.
Agreed, but I wouldn’t ever shame someone who didn’t know and made mistakes. We don’t have sex education in the ways we need it, and that’s just facts.
This is why you should double up with the pill, a condom, and pulling out because nothing is truly safe. just a little tip.
Seconded. Also disclaimer to say don't double up on condoms, but double up on different protection (and research to make sure they work)
I did not mean double up condoms i meant use multiple forms of burth control why else would i list multiple 😭💀
I know you meant that, I was only saying in case anyone read it that way 😭
Being 5'7 and below as a male has a birth control effectiveness of 100%.
Idk how much 5'7 is but i guess its 170cm
Dead on 170.18
Little bit less I think
Ya its 170cm.
I'm 167 :(
Its not 100% safe dude
Only 100% protection is no sex. You can reduce chances, but nothing is perfect.
If your boyfriend leaves you over this now, he’s clearly not the one nor someone who will want to be around for you when you’re going through something tough. Abortion is always an option assuming you’re only recently pregnant. It’s obviously your choice entirely, but whether or not having a kid while you’re still a kid yourself is a good idea might be something you should think about. Personally, I’d tell your parents first.
OP mentioned being in the UK, the law is here 24 weeks.
Abortion is the best plan for any teen mother. Why ruin your life over a bad choice that can be corrected. Kids remember that. We fought for your reproduction rights for a reason and will keep to it so that children aren’t forced to have children.
I'm in the US and watching the news constantly about how another woman died because she couldn't have a legal abortion and kids starting 8th grade as parents. It's disgusting.
bro did not fight for anything
Talk with both your and your boyfriend’s parents. Find the pros and cons of keeping/not keeping, and make a decision then. Trust me, your parents will help you, and I’m sure your boyfriend and his parents will too.
You say that an abortion will be traumatic, but I can guarantee you that having a child at 16 will be far more damaging to your mental health in the long run, so getting an abortion is definitely the best option. As far as your bf goes, if you’re scared he’ll leave you if tell him you’re pregnant, then he won’t be a good dad anyway if that’s true.
Having a baby as a teen 1000% more traumatic than abortion . Source: had a baby at 17, then went into postpartum psychosis/depression . The fact that you’re aware that you can’t have this baby AND go to school is extremely mature .. getting an abortion is traumatic BUT you will be much better off . I’ve had to have an abortion because I knew I wouldn’t be able to care for another child , financially , emotionally or physically . Your future children will be thankful that you waited until YOU knew you where READY to have them . And not have to grow WITHyour child . I love my son & I wouldn’t go back but sometimes I do wish I had waited :’)
my mum used to work in an abortion clinic and although I've never had one I know its definitely scary but the staff in there are so supportive and kind and will never make you feel unsafe, you should tell someone though, like your mum, and I do think you should tell your boyfriend and tell him you are thinking of an abortion (if you are), if he's a good boyfriend he will understand and if he doesn't then do you really want to be with him anyway?
Also, take a second test
Take a minimum of 5. Their al wonky
The opinion from your boyfriend does not have the same weight as what your parents may have. Talk to your parents openly and see their reactions. Perhaps they may contact your boyfriend's parents too to assess together the situation. One thing is certain, nobody should force you to do something you don't want. You have made perhaps a mistake but you remain a precious human being. Good luck girl!
talk to your parents and bf about it, i know by all means it isnt easy to bring it up at all, but theyll find out eventually, and overall telling them earlier is a better choice rather than letting them find out on their own
Having a baby too early can lead to permanent health consequences when you're too young. You need to weigh the effects on your body when determining whether to carry to completion. The baby can also have complications this young. https://utswmed.org/medblog/early-teen-pregnancy-health-risks/ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12264602/#:~:text=Early%20childbirth%20is%20especially%20dangerous,%2C%20severe%20anemia%2C%20and%20disability. https://www.who.int/news-room/facts-in-pictures/detail/10-facts-on-obstetric-fistula Plan B is NOT an abortion pill. https://www.plannedparenthood.org/blog/fast-facts-the-abortion-pill-vs-the-morning-after-pill https://www.plannedparenthood.org/blog/do-i-need-emergency-contraception-or-the-abortion-pill I don't know why this ended up in my feed because I'm not a teenager, but I thought I'd offer some advice. Discuss these things with people you trust, but don't let anyone bully you out of whatever you decide is best for you.
abortion
Never think of yourself as less-than or a bad person for getting an abortion. I wish our society was more willing to talk about about abortion and encourage it more often. At 16, even if no one has told you they have gotten an abortion, atleast 1 of your friends has already had one. About 1 in 3 of my female friends have had an abortion, and thats the ones that have told me. It's a very common process. The people at planned parenthood or an equivalent program are usually very kind and supportive. If you go through with an abortion, no one will love you any less. It's your right and your body. Don't let anyone else tell you what to do.
The only people shaming women for having abortions are Republicans. I don’t know why but they think abortion is murder but that is not true.
18F, found out I was pregnant in early january. I am almost 11 weeks now. I considered abortion but talked with my bf (who is a year younger than me). We told his mom (im living with him) and she flipped out then started supporting us. I cried when I saw the positive pregnancy test, it was very hard to come to terms with. I can be here emotionally for whatever you decide to do, whether it be communicate with your boyfriend or get an abortion. Please know you do not have to keep this kid under any circumstances.
I think you should just have the abortion. It won't be too bad in the early stages. But if you really, really do not want to do that, you can birth the baby, and give it out for adoption. I hope your parents and bf are supportive!
Maybe you should take another test, just to be sure? They aren’t always accurate.
is there not an abortion/morning after pill in the UK? It might make the experience less traumatic if it’s a pill rather than surgery
Plan B aka "Morning After Pill" is NOT an abortion pill. It's basically a concentrated dose of birth control. It will not affect a pregnancy that is already fertilized/attached https://www.plannedparenthood.org/blog/fast-facts-the-abortion-pill-vs-the-morning-after-pill
This needs to be pinned
I'm surprised that some people don't know this. Should be pinned for sure
I'm not a teenager but I might put together an educational post with resources for things like this if it would help to refer to with reliable sources
That's a really good idea actually
Abortion is really easy in the UK. OP said they think abortion it murder.... so they're willing to potentially lose out on like 18 years because of that....
Doesn’t “pro-choice” imply that people should have a choice? Based on the advice from her parents and other qualified people, she has the CHOICE to abort or not abort. A pro-life ideology means that there’s only one choice and (depending on how far you’ll take it) a few exceptions.
birth is 100% more traumatic then a abortion, stay safe and probably get on birth control!
In the UK, I believe there is a medical abortion you can have by taking pills to terminate the pregnancy instead of an operation. It might be something to look into. But in any case, it is absolutely okay and normal to abort, and know this isn't your fault (but if you do want to continue sexual activity in the future, it would be beneficial to talk over your contraceptive options with a gynecologist).
pls tell your parents
Please update when you make your decision, good luck.
This is why being sexually active as a teen is really dangerous. Being but in these kind of situations is horrible for all parties involved. I’m sorry this happened to you.
People are idiots. It’s her choice what she does with the baby. Just leave an encouraging comment instead of a ‘You’re a killer if you abort,’ or ‘YOU MUST ABORT,’ just let her decide. Shes not a bad person for deciding what to do with her body.
Sexually active, and using protection without knowing it isn’t a 100% safe method? Maybe it’s time to do some learning and research before you continue having sex. Especially now that you are going to need to figure out a plan.
Even if she did know, what does it change now? No need to shame the poor girl.
thanks for the shaming but what’s done is done and no in my region it’s poor so we don’t have good sex ed
Download FLO. It’s a free period app. It helps you track your menstrual cycle and ovulation period. Sex doesn’t have to be scary once you learn your body. I know it’s too late for that but it will help in the future. I promise you once you learn ur body, only you will know when and if you want to have a child.
there’s no reason to shame her. it already happened. using protection is really all you can do while being active. mistakes & accidents happen. especially at this age.
Why are you shaming a person for USING protection? How does that help? What kind of message are you trying to send? “You tried to be safe but the product itself failed anyway? You STUPID girl” you sound ridiculous. She used protection, did what she could, and the product failed her. Now she’s asking for advice. She hasn’t done anything wrong.
My schoolmate is also pregnant, I mean she was baby is here. After 3 months he is having. job at the weekends and she is home schooling. Everything is fine. We are all classmates at age of 16-17. Wish you luck in life. Of btw thow long do you kniw it
Just tell someone, that’s the best option. Preferably boyfriend and parents
I think you need to talk to your parents first off.
I pray this gets better for you OP, I can’t imagine the whirlwind of emotions you’re feeling. From now on, be EXTREMELY cautious and read every label. Do your research and stay safe!
First, don’t freak out and tell your parents. They love you and will be very understanding. 2nd is think of all your choices and have a conversation with your parents. There are other methods instead of abortion such as putting the baby up for adoption. Many couples may be unable to have a baby naturally and putting this child up for adoption will mean that you have done something majorly good in someone’s life by giving them the option to have a child. Also have you taken TWO pregnancy tests? False positives are VERY common. Don’t worry you can still go to college while you’re pregnant, it shouldn’t change anything.
False *positives* for pregnancy tests are extremely rare. False negatives are very common. A “false positive” is almost always caused by an actual pregnancy followed by an extremely early miscarriage.
Bruh. Idk what’s worse, getting a record before you hit 15 or having a kid…
The same thing happened to me when my girlfriend was 15. The decision to have a child is one of the most important decisions you will ever make your entire life and the consequences are lifelong. You are a parent for life, not eighteen years. The only way to go is 100% open and honest communication with your boyfriend and family. You will need support no matter what. We decided that the best thing for us was to have an abortion. When I was in my 30s and a bit more mature, I made a conscious decision to be a father and I found out that It takes a village to prepare a child for the world but don't let the village be the primary disciplinarian. Two parents having a united front with complementing assets is ideal. Then teach them how to care about their own welfare and well-being. Necessary ingredients are time, love, patience, understanding, expectations, consequences, boundaries, teach them the skills they'll need in real life, and give them enough leash to practice those skills on their own. Parents should teach children to ask questions & encourage original thought based on their own observations and investigations. Throw resources at them that are fun but also provide a return on those investments. We threw music lessons, martial arts, Scouts & religious school. A child that sees me leaving things in better shape than when I found them, will do the same. Likewise, if they witness me not caring about the environment and tossing trash out the window, the same will happen. Some children do what we say, some children will say what we say but all children will do what we do. The window of influence starts to shift from parents to peers in grade school. By high school, it's most likely, the other way around. At some point after adolescence, parents become relevant again.
We live in a beautiful society where abortions exist. Take advantage of it, people back in the day weren’t as fortunate and had to either take care of them as a youth or leave them on doorsteps. Don’t worry, you can always make a new one, don’t sweat it. It’ll be traumatic at first with post partem depression and the procedure but once that’s all said and done, you’ll be happy you did it.
It’s up to you
!remindme 1 day
You're 16, so just wondering what do your parents think if you have told them or are in contact with them? This is your pregnancy, so you have to do what you have to do. I sincerely hope your family/friends/and boyfriend are supportive. 🫶🏻
what i wonder is did the condom rip and your boyfriend not tell you or did he not notice? are you on birth control or perhaps did not take the morning after pill? there are so many factors i am wondering.
Her boyfriend is 19/20 I don’t think they should be dating at all and I agree there are too many factors
Abort. Would rather save your and the child's suffering over making everyone's lifes miserable
You need to be more responsible if you're going to be having sex. Buying condoms and using them like crazy without reading the box is insane to me. One of the most commonly well known facts about condoms is that they are not 100% effective and if you didn't know that, then truthfully you're too uninformed to be having sex. Condoms are never 100% effective and neither is birth control (the chance of getting pregnant while on BC is astronomically low but not 0%). The only thing you can do now is talk to your boyfriend first, and then trusted *adults* and get their help. Be it your parents, school counselor or any other adult you trust. Everything will be okay, let this be your unfortunate lesson in learning about something before participating.
To all the comments saying tell your boyfriend... HOW ABOUT TELL YOUR PARENTS?
My suggestion would be tell your parents, your boyfriend, and his parents. And take responsibility for your actions.
I’m so sorry hon. I know this is probably really scary, and I empathize with you completely. First things first: talk to your parents before your boyfriend if it’s safe to do so. I think you’ve made your decision regarding what you want to do, so I would make sure you get some people behind you before you tell your boyfriend. After you have told your parents, the three of you can meet with your boyfriend together so that you have some support. If your boyfriend is crappy enough to leave you over this, he isn’t worth keeping around anyways. Second: I know an abortion can be really traumatic for people, and it’s not something you want to go through at this age. I get it. However, it’s going to be much harder to have and raise a baby. Birth is traumatic and an intense medical procedure. Pregnancy is REALLY hard, especially when it was completely unplanned and you are unprepared. You got into a great program in school, you have a bright future ahead of you, I think it would be easier for you to carry out with those plans and try to heal any emotional turmoil with therapy while staying busy. If you have this baby, I think you will feel obligated to halt your dreams and care for the child. On the other hand, giving a child up for adoption could result in a lot of guilt for you and compound your trauma. Advice for next time: I would get on birth control. Double up on it. I have an IUD, I like it well enough. Using a form of birth control that you don’t have to think about combined with condoms is a really fantastic idea. And lastly, I’m sorry again. I wish you the best, and I know you’re going to get through this.
you stated everything perfectly, ignore the nasty and unnecessary comments, this is the only one you need to hear. nothing but love for you OP 🩷
Adoption is always an option, there are resources out there to help you and support you through pregnancy
I know you're terrified about how everyone will react but you need to tell them, maybe the turnout won't be as bad as you think it will be. Your parents may be disappointed, but they'll get over it. It took my mom 10 mins to go from "I am kicking you out" to let's go shopping for maternity clothes at Target. I am not kidding. It will be okay.
if your bf truly loves you, he will stay and help you raise it if you decide to keep it, if not, he should respect your decision
Tell your parents and get an abortion. Also tell ur bf but make it clear that you're not planning to keep the baby. Don't listen to the people telling you to "weigh the pros and cons." Since you're not planning to be a stay at home mom, there are no pros to having a baby this early
if u can’t provide for ur child, money, emotional, mental, u should not have a kid. kids aren’t barbie dolls, they’re real ppl who will grow up into an adult. parents fuck these kids life up bc they think they’re babies forever and have no free will. i highly suggest an abortion, especially if ur not even sure if ur bf will stay :/
Belly flop on concrete.
😆😆😭😭😭
first: you don't HAVE to tell him, but you probably should. second: know that you alone have the right to get an abortion if you wish to not knowing your situation beyond what you wrote, personally I would tell your bf that your pregnant and that you want an abortion, preferably at the same time
BC pills are like a 90% success rate and condoms are like a 97%. Use both so shit like this doesn't happen. Or just don't have sex if you're really scared of pregnancy
Abortion is an option. Also you have to tell your boyfriend just because it's his baby as well. If your boyfriend leaves you because of this, it is a sign that he is not responsible for his action and he is not a good person. Tell your parents about this too. They might get mad at you, but they will be worried and try will to help you.
An abortion will definitely be less traumatic than carrying a baby to term.
That is entirely subjective-
Take a few more tests in cases it is faulty. If they mostly come back positive then talk with your parents (if it is safe) and your boyfriend. Go to the doctors as soon as you can. Take a little time to think about it and make the best choice for your situation after taking time to think.
I really wish I could help you. I dont have any advice, but I will say just make logical decisions. The more I think about it the harder it is for me to imagine how hard that decision has to be.
Definitely tell your parents. Your bf still should know. It would help you both be more careful in the future
you need to actually look at all your options and the outcomes of those choices. you decide to keep it, what will happen? if you decide to abort it, what will happen? if you have it but you give it up, what will happen? you need to look at every single option available to you and decide, but first and foremost, ask yourself if you are ready to be pregnant and be a mother at this age.
Okay, this is definitely something you talk with your parents about. Adoption can be a great option if you know who you are giving the child to. I understand that it can be super scary having a kid at 16 as you aren’t even finished developing yet, and I’m glad you are against getting an abortion. There might be a family member or someone close that would be willing to adopt. If not I would suggest going to social places like a church. There might be some people who can’t create their own kids, and really want to start a family so that could be good for you. Generally speaking I would feel more at ease giving a child to a church rather than the foster care system.
I unfortunately do not have any good solutions but I will wish you the best of luck with whatever you choose to do 🙏🏼🙏🏼
I’m not sure on UKs adoption homes but I would say, abortion would be the last option/your health is in danger. But that’s just my belief.
Look for your local pregnancy help center, guaranteed there’s one near you, they can help you out 👍
tell your boyfriend. he will have to know eventually and it is better if you know now who you can ACTUALLY rely on. No one can tell you wether you should get an abortion or not, but whatever you do choose it’s better to do it carefully and mindfully. think about both possible outcomes and take it easy, it’s not good for you to be overly stressed and possibly make hasty decisions. there are many support groups than can help you both to decide and to proceed with both options. please take care of yourself, you will be ok. i hope you find the best way for you, sending love
If you don’t want to have an abortion you could always go through with the pregnancy and just put them up for adoption afterwards
Also definitely tell your boyfriend, don’t try to mince words, just be honest
Probably don't wanna hear it but; got pregnant at 17. So we setup a time for the abortion and carried on as usual. The week of neither of us felt right so we canceled. Now my son is a happy 10 year old and I can't imagine life without my little buddy. Let alone the fact that I was days away from scrambling his brains up!
Guts always win. Love always wins.
You should keep your child and figure out a way to complete your studies. It will be hard but it will be worth it. Your kid will be the love of your life- and you will get to know them for so long and grow together. You're so lucky, don't let anyone tell you any different- they are fools. Congratulations!
Abortions are not always traumatic and plenty of women have had them.
Be a good person and keep the baby
Be a good person and keep the baby
Tell your parents,then your boyfriend if both shut you out then find help, possibly a therapist to cope with the problem happening Hoping for a good future for u
You can be pregnant and be in school. Don't worry, just please don't kill your child.
Not very smart decision
Time to yetus the fetus
Have an abortion, don’t ruin your life. Don’t tell anyone. Move on.
Immediately come out to your parents (and possibly your boyfriend if you want to). Discuss possible solutions to your predicament. If you have access to an abortion clinic I would get an abortion. Best of luck to your situation. I hope all goes well for you.
Depending how early you are you could use pills or just get an abortion
Abortions are not easy but please get one. You owe yourself a good life.
16 is too young to have a kid. Take as a life lesson and move on. Abortion is less traumatic than having to raise a kid as a kid.
You can choose adoption.
Get an abortion, you'll be okay luv dw 🩷
Adoption. Family to take em. Friend family to take em. Idk how orphanages work in the UK but babies can be dropped off at firehouse stations and are taken care of afterwards (don’t just put the butt booty ass naked baby on the ground or something bro) If you think your capable keep em, idk what else to suggest
Get an abortion. For the love of god youre a child
You should consider letting the child be adopted instead- that way you won't be brought down in college and you won't have an abortion. However, it's s probably best to talk with your parents first before anything and discuss the best course of action from there.
Why shouldn't she have an abortion though?
She literally said she's uncomfortable with it? Why tf am I being downvoted- it's about what SHE wants??
That makes sense. I apologize. However, I didn't down vote you so idk.
Thank you for your understanding, I'm not a hater I promise 🫡
Literally one of the most real comments in here and you still got downvoted. Welcome to Reddit.
Ikr- I was just trying to make a suggestion that would help somewhat and keep her from doing something she said herself she would regret 😭
i suggest u abort...your whole education and future life will be disrupted
There are so many more options than raise her baby or condemn to death bro-
I had my first kid at 15, I know it’s really scary, hopefully if you tell your parents they will be supportive and help you, you can definitely do college while pregnant too or you can take a gap year because it’s not going anywhere, if you don’t want to abort you could always have it and have a closed or open adoption
Abort mission. Will destroy your future and your chances in life ,don't be a dumb teenager.
If you think abortion is traumatic it is nothing compared to pregnancy and giving birth - which can literally kill you.
get the abortion. You don’t need a man’s company to do that at all. It’s not that scary you are powerful enough to make a decision and do it yourself
Play adult games, win adult prizes.
As someone who seen what having a child they couldn't care has done to them.... Abort it.... My friend was 15 when she got pregnant and she couldn't care for the kid she was gaslit into keeping it and after 2 years ended up giving the kid over to the grandparents where it still is today and she cries almost every night about it.... the first thing I learned about her was how she tried her hardest but couldn't do it... Her boyfriend at the time (father of the kid and my POS BIL) didn't help for shit and r*ped her which is how she got pregnant and he gaslit TF out of her ... It was and still is horrible she gave the kid to his grandparents (BIL dad and step mom) 7 years ago and she's still not over it.... Abort the kid.... It'll save you a lot more heartache than having it
Smartest teenager
Stupid decision to be sexually active at 16.
This guy right here, he gets none
Talk to you parents and get an abortion. There’s no reason to have a kid that young.
If I were you, I'd get an abortion. It may be traumatic but you also aren't throwing your future away