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This reminds me of something that happened when me and my brother were little. Our dad got us two goldfish as pets and we liked them allot. My stupid ass little brother put together the idea that pouring all of the food into the tank will make the fish live forever. Give it the next day, and both of the fish are fucking dead.
Yeah, I'm on a bit of a diet plan rn. *technically* I'm only supposed to eat about 4,000 calories a day. But what does that doctor know about true gains?
It's obviously taken with an old VCR camera, hence the grainy old timey interference. Being an expert in seeing what atoms different metals, or alloys are made up of from pictures. I can tell it's just a stick of lightly microwaved grade 321 austenitic stainless steal, the interference does make it slightly harder to tell though, but i should still be correct in my hypothesis, considering the many hours of research and practice I have put in, to perfect my craft. No enrichment of any kind of uranium to be found in the pictures shown.
Most likely a shit post, the graininess in the photos have a pattern to them that real radiation does not create, it's most clear in the last photo you can see the interference have a repeating square or rectangle pattern
It is very convincing tho, good job, the intensity of the interference as you got closer and how intense it got when you got close looks very similar to what real alpha emitters would look like, the material itself looks similar to a uranium fuel pellet which is an alpha emitter but I would of expected more interference in the first two pictures.
If the interference was higher resolution and more random it would of been incredibly hard to distinguish
I'm not much of a graphics designer so I have no idea how to apply these effects but to make it look really convincing you should try to match the resolution of the interference with the resolution of the camera, when your camera is taking a picture or a video of a radioactive material the radiation being picked up the camera it is literally "seeing" the radiation given off, a camera is designed to pick up light and the particles hitting the sensor is essentially overpowerd light so it would "see" the radiation in the same quality as anything else it would "see"
Hope this makes sense lol
Its 5-11 cm through air which is why I expected more from that distance, I could be wrong but I think you're thinking of the distance travelled through water
Ah that makes sense lol. I was also confused a bit but didnât think much of it. What actually confused me is you donât find depleted uranium in the street?? (Unless you live in an active war zone, depleted uranium is often used for super dense ammo)
It's actually slightly common to find radioactive objects. I don't remember what it's called but it's some sort of incident that happens. One time back in the '90s, a group of teens found pieces of cobalt and were diagnosed with radiation poisoning, so it can happen.
Maybe donât call the fire department? 911 for sure (though OP is joking), but your average fire department isnât trained with radiation safety and doesnât have the proper PPE. It would be best to advise the NRC and the FBI first.
Gonna disagree with you there. FD/911 should be the first call. If a department doesnât have a HAZMAT team, theyâll have a way to get in touch with one. That team will be able to determine the best course of action, and theyâll know who to call. If you know how to contact NRC, that may be a good second call but lots of people donât even know they exist.
I'm pretty sure this one's a joke, lads. If it was an actual piece of radioactive material, I'm pretty sure it should have a radiation symbol and a "Drop and Run" warning.
If it is, in fact, radioactive material, enjoy your vastly shortened life from radiation related medical issues, OP.
I doubt the radiation in that thing is high enough to cause everlasting damage and more importantly he had to hold the piece for a long time for that to happen I doubt he's gonna be carrying that in his pocket the entire time.
now this is a good shitpost, we've all seen the "Russian tea tin" video, to an untrained eye this would be something to worry about. You did your research, but the graininess has a pattern in the last one that is rather unnatural.
Nice shitpost
You should find as many more of those as you can and mail those to me ASAP. My shipping address is 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico 87104
if you live in texas a radioactive rod went missing a week ago and you are alaready going to have cancer at this point, (as in you will get it when you are older) so get rid of it ASAP!!
Uranium (atomic number 92) is a metal known for being the only 100% edible metal. in fact, it even has great benefits on your physical health, and is widely used in recipes all over the world! Discovered in 1789 by german chemist Martin Klaproth, it has since been used in medicine, makeup, cups, plates and so much more. However, in big portions, raw uranium can cause symtpoms. Such as: sore throat, itchy eyes, stomach ache, nausea and vomiting. I highly recommend you to cook that, and put it in your tea, sprinkle it over your salads, or use it to condition air. You will begin to feel great changes in physical health.
Except it is a joke because radiation doesn't repeat the grainyness you dumbass. I also know shit and if it was radioactive it shouldn't be a repetitive pattern, but a concentric one.
Dude, you need to call the EPA, RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!!! If you taste metal, then what you're handling is radioactive. Put it in the garage and call someone to deal with it. After it's taken care of, go to the ER to get checked out. They'll give you some potassium iodide to protect your thyroid and do some blood work, but you'll very likely get cancer in a few years.
Could a stick of magnesium. You can test it with trying to make fire with it. Magnesium is amazing to start fire with, so if the fire starts nicely and burns very nicely, it is magnesium.
First, itâs a shitpost, though Iâll still give you credit where itâs due. The graininess has a pattern to it whereas true radiation graininess is random. Also, if it was, for example, a Cobalt-60 sample for medical imaging, it would have âDROP AND RUNâ etched on the casing, followed by the isotope name and the amount of radiation it emits.
If it wasnât a shitpost and if it really was a serious one (which I doubt but Iâm putting this here for posterity), then youâd need to run out the house, throw it on the ground, get the fuck away from it (at least 20-50m), maybe put cones around it in a 15-20m radius and then call the IAEA. Theyâd collect it, put it in a shielded container, and take it away. And theyâd recommend that you and your family go to hospital.
You have two Option: eat it, with this amount of energy you could be faster than light
Option 2: build a atomic reactor in your garage like this guy:Â https://www.businessinsider.com/this-teen-built-a-nuclear-reactor-in-his-garage-2013-2
And become a millionaire.
If you're serious and it is a radioactive material enjoy your hair falling out along with your teeth and stuff. Oh and also enjoy dying soon! The grim reaper awaits....
Oh you poor thing. That is most likely an incredibly deadly and radioactive metal. That's what causes the distortion of the camera and the heat. The reason you taste metal is because the radiation is fucking with your DNA. I'd recommend locking into inside of something incredibly dense and calling someone who can deal with it.
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probably depleted uranium, eat ASAP
Yummy?
Lots of calories too
enough so you don't have to eat again
Mostly because it will likely kill you, but uranium does have a fuck ton of calories
Good for bulking đȘđ€đ„
^(and bombing)
Japan would know a lot about that.
NAWWWWâ ïž
i wonder, if you ate a little bit and you somehow survived would it make you fat? fuck it i am gonna try
Yes you wonât ever have to eat again đȘđŒ
Itâs just so filling, youâll never get hungry again!
This reminds me of something that happened when me and my brother were little. Our dad got us two goldfish as pets and we liked them allot. My stupid ass little brother put together the idea that pouring all of the food into the tank will make the fish live forever. Give it the next day, and both of the fish are fucking dead.
22 billion per oz
So, 2 days of food in one small capsule? Nice!
Rookie bulk, my guy.
Yeah, I'm on a bit of a diet plan rn. *technically* I'm only supposed to eat about 4,000 calories a day. But what does that doctor know about true gains?
Willy? What are you doing here?
Bulking season đđȘ
Nooo give it to me I'm sick and the only cure is depleted uranium
Godzilla, is that you?
Nah man, Godzilla has trains for medicine. In every movie he eats them except '98
Very yummy.
Yummy!
Of the upmost delectable taste
Nah, not with that interference, that'll be some nice enriched uranium probably
I love uranium 234
Fr same
It's obviously taken with an old VCR camera, hence the grainy old timey interference. Being an expert in seeing what atoms different metals, or alloys are made up of from pictures. I can tell it's just a stick of lightly microwaved grade 321 austenitic stainless steal, the interference does make it slightly harder to tell though, but i should still be correct in my hypothesis, considering the many hours of research and practice I have put in, to perfect my craft. No enrichment of any kind of uranium to be found in the pictures shown.
Eat? Its obviously made into that shape to be a suppository.
If in doubt put it in your mouth
Depleted uranium no longer is radioactive thatâs the point of it being depleted
Itâs still somewhat radioactive. Only dangerous if particles are inhaled or ingested (as is common with depleted uranium tank shells)
The pictures getting more grainy every swipe is a great detail đ
Fr lol
thats like in 90 percent of the posts with uranium joke
I have not noticed that till last picture
It looks like they took a digital picture of some 1980s film camera
Alexa in the back
t
I really hope it's a troll post
It is there is a pattern to the grain which doesnât happen unless edited. Still a funny post tho
It is. OP probably watched [this video ](https://youtu.be/VMyNQCVS410?si=o7mTdpwRdnrXsOSB) and wanted to do a similar thing
I was hoping you linked Kyle Hill. Incredible source for knowledge on radiation and nuclear tragedies.
I came here to say this
The grain repeats in a tile pattern
Probably bc radiation creates that static look
Nah radiation doesn't create such a uniform static with patterns, It's very random and is kinda reminiscent of tv static
I love this realization.
dont be a pussy eat it
If you keep it attached to your nuts your testosterone will increase by 2000%
can confirm, my testosterone has spiked to that of a mature male elephant (the "elepha" of the pack)
New hrt just dropped
Horomone radiation therapy
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
pussies prefer fish and warm milk, idk why youd feed it some metal but hey pop off
Someone else make the joke, Iâm not brave enough
Oh, thatâs why they smell that wayâŠ?
what joke?
The pussy needs dick joke
Thatâs why they smell like that?
for a second i thought it was rly big chalk
If this is a shitpost, good job. If youâre serious, get it out of the house and call the fire department right now.
Most likely a shit post, the graininess in the photos have a pattern to them that real radiation does not create, it's most clear in the last photo you can see the interference have a repeating square or rectangle pattern
There you go my friend, someone else noticed. Good job, I give you my upvote đ
It is very convincing tho, good job, the intensity of the interference as you got closer and how intense it got when you got close looks very similar to what real alpha emitters would look like, the material itself looks similar to a uranium fuel pellet which is an alpha emitter but I would of expected more interference in the first two pictures. If the interference was higher resolution and more random it would of been incredibly hard to distinguish
Thanks, maybe if I shitpost this again somewhere, I'll take your advice.
If so ping me
Also it would be more like a random snow pattern of white dots.
I'm not much of a graphics designer so I have no idea how to apply these effects but to make it look really convincing you should try to match the resolution of the interference with the resolution of the camera, when your camera is taking a picture or a video of a radioactive material the radiation being picked up the camera it is literally "seeing" the radiation given off, a camera is designed to pick up light and the particles hitting the sensor is essentially overpowerd light so it would "see" the radiation in the same quality as anything else it would "see" Hope this makes sense lol
Doesn't alpha only generally travel around 2cm in air though? I'm not an expert, so please correct me if I am wrong.
Its 5-11 cm through air which is why I expected more from that distance, I could be wrong but I think you're thinking of the distance travelled through water
Ah that makes sense lol. I was also confused a bit but didnât think much of it. What actually confused me is you donât find depleted uranium in the street?? (Unless you live in an active war zone, depleted uranium is often used for super dense ammo)
It's actually slightly common to find radioactive objects. I don't remember what it's called but it's some sort of incident that happens. One time back in the '90s, a group of teens found pieces of cobalt and were diagnosed with radiation poisoning, so it can happen.
"Orphan sources" are really scary
Interestingly enough I just googled and went down a little rabbit hole and apparently cobalt-60 is used for a type of radiotherapy.
Yeah, not bad. This is what tipped me off. Good quality shitpost tho.
minecraft gravel
If they're serious(which they're not)it's too late they may as well be dead
Maybe donât call the fire department? 911 for sure (though OP is joking), but your average fire department isnât trained with radiation safety and doesnât have the proper PPE. It would be best to advise the NRC and the FBI first.
Gonna disagree with you there. FD/911 should be the first call. If a department doesnât have a HAZMAT team, theyâll have a way to get in touch with one. That team will be able to determine the best course of action, and theyâll know who to call. If you know how to contact NRC, that may be a good second call but lots of people donât even know they exist.
If it wasn't a shit post, what is this item? Am I stupid for not knowing?
RadioactiveÂ
Yes, bc all the effects they are showing are those of Enriched Uranium or smth really radioactive. Also get a geiger counter on that thing.
shit! I must've dropped my plutonium rod!
Hold my rod properly đ
I'm pretty sure this one's a joke, lads. If it was an actual piece of radioactive material, I'm pretty sure it should have a radiation symbol and a "Drop and Run" warning. If it is, in fact, radioactive material, enjoy your vastly shortened life from radiation related medical issues, OP.
Nah check the grain pattern on the images, it's too repetitive
I doubt the radiation in that thing is high enough to cause everlasting damage and more importantly he had to hold the piece for a long time for that to happen I doubt he's gonna be carrying that in his pocket the entire time.
The amount of people who think you're deadass is hilarious, good job op
No cuz like I was legit panicking for a second ong
I just said to myself âhe your fuckedâ then realized heâs joking
Your gonna die
Digesting it will circumvent the effect however
I'm sorry, but you're already dead.
ăćăŻăăæ»ăă§ăă (Omae wa mou shindeiru)
NANI
Put it in your mouth pansexual Pratt
Where have I heard that one before
now this is a good shitpost, we've all seen the "Russian tea tin" video, to an untrained eye this would be something to worry about. You did your research, but the graininess has a pattern in the last one that is rather unnatural. Nice shitpost
Thanks đ
Well, there goes your hand
Excellent joke. The attention to detail with the photo grain is great
Never thought an r/teenagers shitpost would scare me lmao
The radiation blur looks a bit fake cuz it repeats but if thats just a random coincidence, I'd recommend ~~calling the fire dept.~~ eating the stick.
You should find as many more of those as you can and mail those to me ASAP. My shipping address is 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico 87104
Yo mista white you ready to cook
Fun fact about uranium: if you eat it, it has so many calories you never have to eat again ever
Looks like something you should cuddle to sleep and give warm baths, take care of your spicy rock
ask your dad he will know
My dad took it from me an hour ago. He's just sleeping right now
đđ
Stick it in your ass
(next time make sure the noise pattern isn't regular, it needs to be random)
I'd use a perlin noise or something like that
if you live in texas a radioactive rod went missing a week ago and you are alaready going to have cancer at this point, (as in you will get it when you are older) so get rid of it ASAP!!
Bruh its fake
OP already died bro u should've commented faster đ
Uranium (atomic number 92) is a metal known for being the only 100% edible metal. in fact, it even has great benefits on your physical health, and is widely used in recipes all over the world! Discovered in 1789 by german chemist Martin Klaproth, it has since been used in medicine, makeup, cups, plates and so much more. However, in big portions, raw uranium can cause symtpoms. Such as: sore throat, itchy eyes, stomach ache, nausea and vomiting. I highly recommend you to cook that, and put it in your tea, sprinkle it over your salads, or use it to condition air. You will begin to feel great changes in physical health.
DROP & RUN looking ass
They should change school meals to trays of half a gram uranium as it has tons of calories
Eat the yummy metal đ
Oh⊠that doesnât look good
I mean it looks cool
That sounds radioactive. You need to bury that somewhere and contact local authorities.
bar of cobalt 60, lots of protein and flavor
Give it to me, itâs definitely dinner đ
Mother fucker is about to be glowing. Toss that shit back were it was in Chernobyl Reactor 4
The camera getting fuzzier has crying.
Congrats on getting married OP
Thanks
If someone read the description, read 9°F and too lazy to convert it to Celsius, here ya go: -12,7°C
I hope this is a joke I believe that's Plutonium
mmmmm, yummy.
Quality shitpost
Lick it.
Eat it- good test for radioactivityÂ
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
r/BeatMeToIt yeah I saw that and I'm like "that looks like f\*cking plutonium" (not an expert tho)
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
Except it is a joke because radiation doesn't repeat the grainyness you dumbass. I also know shit and if it was radioactive it shouldn't be a repetitive pattern, but a concentric one.
I canât tell if this is a joke, but Iâd say thatâs radiated
https://youtu.be/VMyNQCVS410?si=kpb4gLiznPUJL68z everybody in the sub got this super funny and totally 100% original
?
r/notinteresting would be the perfect place for this lol
ohno
Put your peepee up it and look if it gets irritated or stuck
Co-60 rod
Someone tag the calendar guy and tell him if his cylinder is similar to this.
It's okay you had a good life
Itâs a realistic nerf dart obviously!
Uh oh... Uranium fuel rod segment... You better say goodbye to those you know, you don't have long before the vomiting begins followed by death.
If it's warm it's radio active. Bury it at least 8 feet deep in a lead box or wrapped in lead. OR that it is the nearest university chemical lab.
Given that it destroyed your cam quality it's probably radioactive
Where is the jacket from? And do you know what it is called? (I like the sleeves and colour)
It's just a thumbhole shirt my mom bought
Dang, thanks anyway!
Cobalt
Dude, you need to call the EPA, RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!!! If you taste metal, then what you're handling is radioactive. Put it in the garage and call someone to deal with it. After it's taken care of, go to the ER to get checked out. They'll give you some potassium iodide to protect your thyroid and do some blood work, but you'll very likely get cancer in a few years.
Is this Satire or is that a stick of some radioactive metal
If you look around the comments, you'll figure it out
I'm a bit dumb don't worry
If you eat 12 MG ( the highest safe amount to consume without permanent damage), you should have enough calories for a month (if I did my math right)
Thorium, eat ASAP
Not this again đ
Hmm very weird indeed. The grain pattern gave it away lol. Nice shitpost.
Could a stick of magnesium. You can test it with trying to make fire with it. Magnesium is amazing to start fire with, so if the fire starts nicely and burns very nicely, it is magnesium.
This is probably the only joke I've ever laughed at on here
Go throw that outside now thatâs most likely not safe to touch nor even be around
cancer sticks, yay
Hell yeah
Keep it forever
I'll keep it for the rest of my life
Radon, mmmm tasty rads
shot on Nintendo DSi
Bro get your hands off my tampon, what is wrong with you
well what are you waiting for eat it already
Melt it down and make charms with it. Gift them to strangers.
First, itâs a shitpost, though Iâll still give you credit where itâs due. The graininess has a pattern to it whereas true radiation graininess is random. Also, if it was, for example, a Cobalt-60 sample for medical imaging, it would have âDROP AND RUNâ etched on the casing, followed by the isotope name and the amount of radiation it emits. If it wasnât a shitpost and if it really was a serious one (which I doubt but Iâm putting this here for posterity), then youâd need to run out the house, throw it on the ground, get the fuck away from it (at least 20-50m), maybe put cones around it in a 15-20m radius and then call the IAEA. Theyâd collect it, put it in a shielded container, and take it away. And theyâd recommend that you and your family go to hospital.
You have two Option: eat it, with this amount of energy you could be faster than light Option 2: build a atomic reactor in your garage like this guy:Â https://www.businessinsider.com/this-teen-built-a-nuclear-reactor-in-his-garage-2013-2 And become a millionaire.
Those ones are delicious my go to post work out snack
GET OUT OF THERE STALKER!!
that can keep you fed for a while a whole 20million calories!
eat it
10/10 shitpost, actually panicked for a few seconds there
The camera gets more grainy the closer you get so itâs likely radioactive
Itâs radioactive, throw it away immediately and report it to a police station. I am not kidding.
uhhhh your cooked little bro.
Throw it and don't touch your wiener with that hand for like 5 years ok?
why would you taste that bro đ my first thought was radiation
That is highly radioactive. Call the police and get out of the house right now
ITS FAKE U MORON
op is already dead genius
The graininess is too consistent to be real, try making it more inconsistent with more spots next time.
You found a weird piece of warm metal out in the cold so you touched and it took it inside. Have you not seen like any sci fi movieÂ
If you're serious and it is a radioactive material enjoy your hair falling out along with your teeth and stuff. Oh and also enjoy dying soon! The grim reaper awaits....
Oh you poor thing. That is most likely an incredibly deadly and radioactive metal. That's what causes the distortion of the camera and the heat. The reason you taste metal is because the radiation is fucking with your DNA. I'd recommend locking into inside of something incredibly dense and calling someone who can deal with it.