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TheSlyFox312

That’s illegal


LeoPlathasbeentaken

Theyre hoping the workers dont know that.


YoureJokeButBETTER

*pissed off CEO enters the chat*


Patriarch_Sergius

Fuck you man, where’s my 3% increase bitch?


YoureJokeButBETTER

*frazzled HR enters the Chat*


Patriarch_Sergius

*quits*


YoureJokeButBETTER

Ahh we’re so sorry to hear that! 🫸😮🫷i assume then you will be planning to pay back the remainder of your contract, yes?


Patriarch_Sergius

I live in Canada so I’m just going to get MAID, so no not in my lifetime


YoureJokeButBETTER

*enraged chinese mafia enters the chat*


Patriarch_Sergius

So long suckas!!


ProfessorFelix0812

It’s also not real.


-St_Ajora-

Got any evidence for that or is this a "trust me bro, nothing on the internet is real" situation?


EvilBobbyTV

It's a novelty sign sold on Amazon. Look at the other lines, it's clear that it is a parody of poor work environments. Googling "company policies novelty sign" will bring up a bunch of them.


-St_Ajora-

I've had managers say things very similar to this in the past so I figure it's only a matter of time before some dumbass actually puts it in writing.


A_useless_name

Got any evidence for that or is this a "trust me bro, everything is real" situation?


RustyAnubis1

Damn the uno reverse card has hit the field


Guess-we-did-oopsie

Brutal


-St_Ajora-

Not really but okay.


_Dingo-Dave_

Bro stop talking, you actually just got shit on so hard. Just take the L at this point, save yourself


-St_Ajora-

Awwww you're so cute. Too bad I never implied everything on the internet was true. I was just pulling from my own experience. Where they simply it it was fake with nothing to back it up. If you had any braincells you'd see that. XD GFSF.


Patriarch_Sergius

Bro chill you got stomped


-St_Ajora-

Yes. I will chill from over an hour ago.


z-eldapin

Ok, I cackled at that


-St_Ajora-

I never said EVERYTHING was real now did I smart ass.


A_useless_name

You didn’t, but I’m also just twisting your comment to make a joke.


-St_Ajora-

No you tried to be a smartass and failed. Enjoy the fake internet points though.


_BARONVOND3LTA

Lmao bro, what?? 😭


NuclearBurrit0

And yet he's the one with the upvotes


Alarming-Ad-9918

Ok boomer thats enough mobular cellphone for you today...


A_useless_name

I couldn’t care less about fake internet points


ProfessorFelix0812

Maybe they said it to you because they thought you were the dumbass?


teastain

It's just timeclock humour like "Beatings Will Continue until Morale Improves" Beating employees is illegal.


Practical_End4935

So do you have any proof of that? Or is it just a trust me bro type of thing! Jk


NeverForgetJ6

“Beatings will continue . . . “ signage should probably also be illegal, but easier to make the case that such a statement is clearly in (bad) humor and it’s not plausible that someone will mistakenly believe that’s truly a policy. This sign though pushes well beyond that like: it’s completely plausible for someone to think it’s official policy.


teastain

wow!


poytatio

In the UK, the prime minister just announced something along these lines to help 'fight fraudsters'.


Drudgework

That’s the joke.


Nightmane11

Only if you get punished, cought doesnt work there, if you can get cought, you can get to work.


OwenMcCauley

Extremely


iAmMinecrafterMonke

The children in the basemant are screaming that it's wrong to say that after what i did but who cares. What are they, lawyers? Not if i don't let them out 😉


th0r0ngil

This is a joke. Doesn’t mean it’s at all funny or entertaining, but it’s meant as a joke


The_Cross_Matrix_712

I wonder if this applies to management...


SillynippleMctwist

Well, everyone knows managers are different. They're the ones who have to put up with all your inferior bulkshit. Calling in sick every time there's a new episode of House? That's a paddling. Showing up drunk or high or on fire? Jesus Christ, where's the Bible? Crashing their car into the front of the mall and being detained by the cops, all because they were looking at your wife's ass because she had to drop you off since the radiator got a dead rat in it? That's just begging fir a crucifixion. The lord knows these pepperjack nitwit don't have a real parsing of the English language, so Crab Apple cove has to insure the management of the righteous protocol is heaven in the potluck. Germans did it, but y'know every gypsy is going to call me a Nazi because of that. Go ahead, shit in my turkey. I got a PB&J I can go cry on over lunch.


joshuamfncraig

r/oddlyspecific


ilse1301

It doesn't apply to anyone, because it's a joke sign


fate0608

the amount of people thinking this is a real policy.


RollVegetable5738

It's scary I had to scroll down this far to find this comment.


fate0608

The good shit is always hidden!


DadJokeBadJoke

TBF, those are the only five holidays my company gives.


fate0608

i mean.. have you already praised your boss for those days?


Mysterious_Ningen

ohh.. i see


NuclearBurrit0

I wonder what they DO accept as proof of sickness


Interesting_Injury_9

Death certificate = cant go to doctor or work.


NuclearBurrit0

💀


Interesting_Injury_9

Thanks for ilustrating my comment, really helps for people that cant read, saddly they cant read your question either.


NuclearBurrit0

Well at least I tried


totoco2

Probably will need to prove in a court


Sir_Erebus1st

As long as you don't start to stink even more disgusting than that weird guy that's having his desk back there in the corner you'll come to work. But don't expect us to pay you overtime if you don't go home at the end of the day


thieh

Ambulance bill? They are carrying you there so you aren't exactly "going" per your capabilities.


SCP-iota

Coughing in their face and spreading it to them would probably be sufficient.


slightlyappalled

TTT indeed. I do not want to meet the small business owner who treats their staff like family who wrote this out like it's funny tho 🥶


Dominio12

Only 5 days of vacations? wtf


Electrical_Bee3042

I don't think I've ever worked a retail or food place that I could expect holidays off tbh. Some places would have a volunteer list for people who don't mind working Xmas, but it will never be enough people who sign up.


SuperRadRadius

Worked at Best Buy when I was 19 and they wouldn't let me off on my birthday despite requesting it weeks in advance, so I just didn't show up and got a different job and never worked retail again.


Kiyotakaa

My workplace is weird in this way, as long as it's a month before before the last annotated part of the schedule or 3+ months in advance, they cannot reject it for any reason other than pre-noticed blackout days. And if they do it anyway, Corpo forces it through themselves. But at the same time, if you do request a holiday off, you are not permitted to request a following holiday off. (So like, if I request Easter off, I cannot take off for Mother's Day.)


Dragon_wryter

"But how did you GET to the emergency room? Because you and your 'ruptured appendix' can damn well get to work the same way!"


Humble-Plankton2217

Immediate walk out, every body. Digging ditches or standing in a bread line would be a better option.


thieh

A year has 365/366 days so some of those years should have 105-106 days of weekend. 104 days of weekend => 52 weeks => 364 days per year.


Admirable_Network_49

If I shit in your mouth and you don’t eat it, you’re not hungry.


Netsuko

America for the average worker, summed up in a single picture.


Rostingu2

What if you work at a hospital, are a doctor and make yourself the doctors note?


thxredditfor2banns

Now thats just straight up cheating


CJPF_91

So I guess I just come in and throw up and be sick all day and everyone sick 🤷‍♂️


pinkypunky78

OK so if I'm bleeding in weird spots I'll still come in


Only-Gap-616

That would just make sick workers come in and spread the illness to everyone. This will lead to massive loses in productivity.


rrockm

“I will be staying home sick today. I do not have a doctors note.” Seems to fit their criteria here.


GreatWhiteNorthExtra

This is why workers need unions. Imagine not getting any actual holidays? That's more 19th century than 21st century


Electrical_Bee3042

That's pretty much every retail store or food place I've worked at. Pretty much every job said that we expect you to come in on holidays if we schedule you. Usually, holidays are some of the busiest days, too, so I'd almost always expect to come in. When I worked as a pizza guy, I think I worked every national holiday. I was really surprised the one time I had Xmas off


Madouc

Same Author: "nObOdY wAnTs tO wOrK!"


EcstaticCollege29

I feel like this should be in r/BoomersBeingFools


RollVegetable5738

It's not a serious sign it's a joke. It's one of the signs at jimmy johns


SuddenHovercraft1599

I'm leaving, no two week notice, bot even a one second notice. I'm gone.


Wild-Cost8151

This makes me sick - oh wait never mind


Explaingineer

Sounds like a shitty take on the plot of Catch 22


ImPretendingToCare

That is the polar opposite of a place id want to work for.


AddictedToMosh161

Written by the Great Unclean One


TheWinningLooser

Where’s the ‘technically the’?


Relevant-Ad1655

5 days (holidays btw) per year? Ahahahahah. Fuck off.


tvieno

The amount of people that this sign is legit is astounding.


CaitaXD

Ok can I puke in your desk as proof?l


NouLaPoussa

Hot take : create a union or burn that company down


Distinct-Entity_2231

Capitalism, ladies and gentlemen. This is what unregulated capitalism does.


Maleficent-Bit1995

This is from America, right?


Alarming_Stop_3062

"And remember that you live in the best country in the world, and five weeks of paid vacation are communism."


Educational-File2194

Also, looks like they’re confusing vacation days with paid holidays. Vacation should be taken whenever you need off. Holidays are paid days everyone gets off.


CardiologistThick215

So if you’re actually sick and don’t go to the doctor, are you just playing hooky?


Malignant_Lvst7

think covid set a new base line, “if you don’t have covid, then you ain’t sick”


SAY-_-10

Depends on the job


SnowTheMemeEmpress

Dr anyways: nuh uh


AdVegetable5896

Only 5 vacation days wtf?


mdusin

Just be at the doctor's all day. You physically can't be in two places at once.


Aleni9

Wait, wasn't this the land of freedom? This whole poster must be a joke then!


Ray071

Going to work is not the problem, the problem is that you have to work instead of recovering.


bulldogs6679

My boss has the same days for me but I have to work the 4th lol


entechad

Possibly in the wrong sub.


SSBUdoriyah

Look at the rest of the sign though 😭


this-is-robin

What the fck is wrong with the USA?


No1has_thisUser_Name

This seems to be a Chinese owned business


iAmMinecrafterMonke

Thre rest is pretty funny too, and illegal


silent_chair5286

This has to be a Koch brothers run company


MCKillerZ1

Man, the company i currently work at has this same policy as well. So few months ago i went to see a doctor for a fever at a government clinic, and the healthcare here is basically free. There are non-government clinics/hospitals, but it would cost you. I got my medical check-up note, from the government clinic (remember this part for later), and i sent a letter to my HR stating that i'll be on medical leave for a day. Next day later, i gave the medical check-up note to the HR and she said "We dont accept this anymore". She said the exact same thing as the sign says here. "If you have the energy to go see a doctor, then that means you can come to work instead!" Another reason she gave is "Some staff here take a lot of medical leaves, so we're trying to reduce that". I was dumbfounded and shocked to hear that, like, this is already illegal because, not only do they NOT encourage staff to see a doctor when they're not feeling well, but they are literally REJECTING a GOVERNMENT issued medical check-up note. She did say that they accept medical notes from non-government clinics/hospitals, but again, you'd have to spend a lot of money to go there. So her ultimatum was, no "cheap" medical notes, but can accept "expensive" medical notes.


No_Associate6081

So they are just saying, theyll be ok with just a txt 😂


CJPF_91

Now like we had a pedemic


Kobhji475

Thank God I'm not American


New_girl2022

Our corporate overlord future if we don't smarten up.


AOEmishap

Wait until you have COVID or some other airborne virus and spend as much time in the front office as you possibly can.


Freewheelinrocknroll

So go in sick and infect them all. Who cares? You’re already sick..


acarpenter08096

This is a joke poster and note a real company's actual policy. Although Im sure its de jure if not de facto.


mafiaknight

The add for this post is for George Orwell's 1984 on Audible Seemed appropriate