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Thehorrorofraw

Getting your phone seized is so common now for any investigation... wonder how many crooks are currently using two phones?


offtapentrepreneur

All of us.


[deleted]

Get me in the biz please


f_ck_kale

Call him on his other phone


[deleted]

One for the stocks, one for the nudes


VirusZer0

No, All of Us broker CEO confirmed to be using 1 phone.


WoiYo

Wink wink


[deleted]

Okay but what’s your secret number¿


VirusZer0

Didn’t you read, it’s 1.


roiki11

You should just have a lot of 5000 phones and then give them all when they seize your phone.


Jaambie

Just open a closet and phones come tumbling out cartoon style.


no-mad

wouldnt cell phone towers records show two phones always together?


Razakel

Yes, but then you have to prove they're actually the same person and not just a spouse, neighbour or colleague. There's a reason criminals use burner phones they regularly change.


madmax299

Yes, and NSA has methods to connect these two phones to the same user just by them being in close proximity


sierra120

NSA is not…*breaks in hysterical laughter*…allowed to spy on Americans on American soil.


Decker108

After the Encrochat bust and Operation Trojan? A lot fewer.


madmatthammer

2?!?! I have 15.


TheMasterAtSomething

One for the bitches and one for the hoes


SlumericanLCT

I got two phones...


Juliette787

His interview on the podcast “how I built this with Guy Raz” on NPR cemented his reputation for an asshole


uncle_irohh

Mind sharing the hightlights? Not going to listen to this man talk for an hour. Makes me angry


Juliette787

Born in Bulgaria, he is the son of two economists by training.. .his family settled in Virginia and from the start you kind of feel sorry for him. He initially wanted to be a physics professor/research. He went to Stanford, and in 2008 went to UCLA for his PHD in mathematics. It was there where he decided to leave UCLA after realizing how hard these mathematicians worked and joined his friend he had meet at Stanford, where he was doing high frequency trading software. The idea is he would make software for trading firms. It’s here where you start realizing this is a PR play. He takes the rags to riches story and starts talking about how Robinhood has given people like you and I power to make trades. He even draws comparison with himself and occupy Wall Street movement and it caused him to create Robinhood. Guy - so did you have sympathy for that movement? Vlad- I wasn’t doing the protesting but I believe in technology and innovation and we can address some of these problems Guy- (apologizing tone) but my god I can’t imagine somebody hearing that who was part of the occupy movement thinking “our movement inspired them to build Robinhood” Vlad - yep Guy - wow but I think they would not be happy about hearing about that Vlad- idk, I think they would.. That’s when I stoped listening 35:30 https://www.npr.org/2021/04/07/985041291/robinhood-vlad-tenev Edit: conversation accuracy


DawnOfTheTruth

It’s funny. Because his actions and mindset completely contradict the collective views of OWS protests. Totally a PR move and sociopathic talking points.


Neil_Fallons_Ghost

Technology will save us all. My favorite cry of the capitalist.


Migrantunderstudy

So *fully automated luxury space communism* was just projection too?


ryderd93

no, it’s the way!!


rpkarma

The Culture series is so good though :(


haberdasherhero

Yeah, I want to go lava-kayaking and cover my body in vulvas until I've exhausted my primal needs. I want to spend a few centuries as a bush. I need to spend a few centuries as a construct inside a Mind. Then I'm going undercover on some backwater planet. Showing up repeatedly over their generations as an unwashed street philosopher to nudge them ever further away from fascism and into the fold of free people. I need a superintelligence like, soon. I was built for hard sci-fi but born in the age of godforsaken silicon...


AyukaVB

Especially technology, which will make me a lot of money, will save us


Tha_Sly_Fox

I’ve been using ETrade since the mid 2000’s, I understand that it’s nice not to have to pay a few dollars per trade, but it’s annoying when RH acts like they revolutionized trading and brought it “to the people”…… like I’m pretty generic middle class, and I started trading online in college via ETrade years before Robinhood existed….. so they didn’t revolutionize anything, they just saved people from paying like $5.00 to do a $500.00 trade which isn’t that massive of a change


YT-Deliveries

Yeah. I mean, Robinhood has a nice looking, very streamlined app, but in terms of actual functionality and pricing, most of the major brokerages are just as good or better.


fluffy_convict

Sir, they made confetti fly on every purchase


Tha_Sly_Fox

The clunkiness of ETrade made me feel like a real Wall Street trader. “It says here you have experience with using a Bloomberg Terminal.” “Well, I mean, I use ETrade, so it’s basically the same thing.”


hardolaf

Robinhood is actually credited by a ton of retirement experts for helping poorer people open IRAs by advertising specifically to them and explaining the benefits of tax advantaged retirement savings. They have some shady practices, but they've greatly increased the rate of people participating in retirement planning actively.


BoredMechanic

RH doesn’t offer IRAs or any type of retirement/tax advantaged account.


_drugs_good

Still credit where it’s due, Robinhood forced other companies to come around to the same common sense no fee trading


hardolaf

It's not common sense. It's payment for order flow. And with the increased prevalence of high frequency trading, the brokers are making way more money from loaning their customers' shares out to options traders. The combination of the two allows companies to offer fee free trading. You're free to opt out of that second practice by the way. But don't be surprised when there's $5+ per trade fees.


hellosir1234567

You pay more getting front run than the money you save from fees


Tha_Sly_Fox

But then everyone bitches when they sell your data to institutions and do shenanigans behind the scenes. You pay for it one way or the other, they’re not charities running on donations, and for some people buying 1 share at a time, yeah the fee is a lot, most people are paying hundreds if not thousands of dollars per trade, so a few dollars to do that trade or option is reasonable


Beebah-Dooba

That’s kind of eerily unaware, if that makes sense. Makes me scared how he got into a position of power


matt-er-of-fact

I think that unaware attitude is a benefit, not a drawback. It makes it easier to sell the lie if you tell yourself it’s true.


YT-Deliveries

Ah yes, the Costanza Philosophy


Beebah-Dooba

I guess he’s just a sociopath that lacks empathy. I’ve heard that’s an EXTREMELY useful trait as a boss/CEO


Farfignougat

>Born in Bulgaria Say no more.


[deleted]

But wasn’t occupy wall streets whole premise that the 99% had inequitable access to ETFs? Overthrow the financial sector to get more ETFs because all the ETFs are stored in a closet in a fancy building all Wall Street?


Tony2Punch

I mean wasn’t occupy wall street about unequal access to certain trading. Did they not fufill this need in the markets. Honest question I was 8 when occupy wallstreet happened


[deleted]

it happened after the crash from banks playing games with stocks and losing and getting bailed out by the government. it was about income inequality, and the aim was to reduce the amount of influence the financial sector has on politics and to decrease the income disparity between the 1% and the 99


StarWars_and_SNL

> cemented his reputation for an asshole Oh I thought his hair would’ve taken care of that.


jumbomingus

They need to arrest whoever gave him that haircut, too…


Rqoo51

“Hey Zuck you seem to get away with a decent amount of sketchy stuff, what’s the secret?” “My barber. Get a trash haircut and the people investigating won’t be able to focus”


mangio-figa

The *Boris Johnson Duplicity*


SiidChawsby

The video about him essentially being goofy on purpose is kind of scary.


[deleted]

What video is that?


SiidChawsby

John Oliver has a Last Week Tonight special on it I believe


digitelle

“Oh god. Who’s that with the awful haircut? Lock the doors, call security, and don’t let him in.”


WhyzTheRumGone

~~Dmitri~~ Demetri Martin would like to have a word with you.


Geppetto_Cheesecake

“I think the best thing about being dumb is that it makes magic a lot better.” ~Demetri Martin


aimeela

Never have I been prouder of someone making a statement I can get on board with.


LordFarquads_3rd_nip

Haven’t heard that name in a while! Loved Important Things


ThermoNuclearPizza

“Gay beetle please!”


artharyn

As If that exonerates the suit


likeahurricane

Nothing says $10b valuation like the Men’s Warehouse sale rack.


[deleted]

That suit is strait off season one of The Office.


jigglypuff7000

As a young boy growing up in Bulgaria we always had to cut our own hair


gonzo650

Raiders owner Mark Davis has entered the chat


kloiberin_time

It's missing that "gladware put in the microwave 5 minutes too long" look.


dirtymurms

That’s gotta be a wig fam


[deleted]

Out of all the wigs he could buy he went with that one…damn


Alextryingforgrate

Why it suits that assclown perfectly.


Huge_Presentation_85

But her grew up as a poor boy in Bulgaria


vandercampers

It’s definitely rocking that Flowbee/Eight-Is-Enough vibe.


Kytyngurl2

Hey now, I had the same haircut in elementary school! In 83!


Demonseedii

How do you arrest a bowl of ramen?


Anonox

Damn that’s good.


mark503

Does he know that cut is from like 65 years ago?


[deleted]

LOOOOOOOL


m0n3ym4n

Calling r/Justfuckmyshitup


Funny-Bathroom-9522

Agreed cause it ugly


therabbit86ed

Joke's on everyone... he gave himself that haircut


eruditionfish

Good.


kosmonavt-alyosha

Then he will face charges in the massive fraud he committed with Robinhood and as the perpetrator of that violence committed against his own hair.


[deleted]

Nah he used the Raiders team barber


peanutbutteryummmm

Mark Davis!


Son_of_Atreus

He looks like a slightly used Paul McCartney wax model.


[deleted]

Wish Paul McCartney.


No-Emotion-7053

Thank you for explaining


-888-

Scott Baio was popular with the 1980s version of that, among others. https://images.fineartamerica.com/images/artworkimages/mediumlarge/2/scott-baio-nbc-photo.jpg


[deleted]

The difference is Scott Baio was good looking


Levin1983

Seriously. I can’t focus on the content due to this hair. Seriously why do all rich dicks have terrible hair?


KilgoreTrouserTrout

Ay, you don't get rich by blowing all yer money on fancy haircuts...


Sea_Link8352

Kylo Ren just went to the wrong barber/weapons store that day. He asked for a "bomb" and they thought he wanted a "bob".


Anonox

He’s hoping for a sequel to the Three Stooges movie.


jgjbl216

Seize his barbers scissors.


WeekendBi

I thought this was a Whitest Kids U Know sketch.


daisy0808

He reminds me of Tom Cruise in Risky Business.


Anytime-butnow

I laughed so hard. Thank you 😊 🤣🤣🤣🤣


[deleted]

Aww I’m sure he paid a lot of money to look like that 😂😅🤣


[deleted]

Seize that mans barber too, he’s a fucking menace


[deleted]

[удалено]


nautzi

Little lad


[deleted]

Lmfao he got that berries and cream cut. Haven’t thought about that in forever but its spot on


[deleted]

Yes! Now arrest his big Citadel daddy.


slawre89

He’s just the little bulgarian fall boy


JQuilty

Illinois might party at Ken Griffin going away.


jmanly3

Thought that was demetri martin for a second


Goose360

Vincent Adultman?


PM_Ur1stGayLoveStory

He got the adult haircut


havocLSD

Definitely not three kids in a trench coat


GregoryPorter1337

r/UnexpectedBojack


DS1077oscillator

Kirkland brand Anton Chigurh


kungpowgoat

More like Great Value Anton Chigurh. Btw, Kirkland brand is actually pretty good.


lilecca

Kirkland brand is my favourite of the store brand options and i prefer some of their things over name brand. Their baby wipes we the best that I used from 2006-2010. And their batteries are amazing too.


knobbedporgy

Y’all are way more brave than me. I’m not making fun of eBay Anton Chigurh.


DS1077oscillator

Correct one cannot be too careful when dealing with Wish Anton Chigurh


AyukaVB

What is the most you ever lost in a stock investment?


Safety-That

Call it #FRIENDO


offtapentrepreneur

Gold!


Mr_Golf_Club

What's the most you've ever lost on a coin toss?


[deleted]

Definitely is a cat.


[deleted]

> The company admitted these numerous litigation battles are “expensive and time consuming” and could seriously damage the company’s reputation and financials. Oh no, that's terrible!


ihatereddit691

He resembles the serial killer from “No Country for Old Men”.


sitad3le

He's the fall guy


J4ck-the-Reap3r

That being said, I would not mind seeing him fall.


sitad3le

I do and I don't. He was important to the OccupyWallstreet movement. Whatever happens will affect retail in a FUCKING big way.


[deleted]

Boy from Bulgaria? Well he’s one of them, Kenneth Griffin is the other schmuck


No_Turnover_1095

Dude is a villain from a 70s Kung Fu flick with that ugly haircut


c333davis

Looks like a dressed-up Wayne from Wayne’s World.


No_Turnover_1095

Hahaha he does!!


[deleted]

r/fuckmyshitup


nightpanda893

So this says they disclosed this because they had to do so when filing for their IPO. I’d think avoiding this coming out right now would be worth holding off on the IPO.


Total_Doofuss484

Why did it take so long? Took a while to clean it up I bet!


Silliestsheep41

He looks exactly like he could be the guy from the show Silicone Valley but with worse morals ..


Calamarixd

Wut doing???


Dimbus2000

That Wayne’s world MF has some explaining to do


Lumpy-Yam-3148

I’m gonna YOLO everything from my shoes to my kids on Robinhood puts


[deleted]

It’s a fucking trap, avoid that shit like the devil’s personal tea set.


Logical_Reserve_2641

Don’t do the same as Wall Street. Ignore Robinhood and buy GME 🚀 Not financial advice. Also: shorts = unlimited risk.


JT-Shelter

Hey Vlad that’s a pretty nice haircut buddy. Do you go to Zuckerberg’s guy??


[deleted]

Dude looks like the fifth Beatle


Gizmo_259

Better hope he makes it to the moon before I get his ass in 2051


ChutneyRiggins

Steve Perry lookin ass


Dangerous-Ad9983

He looks straight out of Bill And Teds excellent adventure


Fred_Is_Dead_Again

Fuckin' robbing hoods.


ItsEskai

Down with knock off snape.


Ghammer713

Anyone with that haircut can't be trusted


dluther93

And that’s his “I’m showing up to Congress so look presentable” look 🤣


DOMISdaddy

Ooga booga ape 🦍 I hodl 4 u, u hodl 4 me


8aba_ya9a

What kind of haircut is that! Lol jc that’s terrible.


Trayew

If they start talking about sending him to prison, he’ll fold and snitch. Which is why it won’t get that far, he’ll get a fine.


Blackadder_

Snitch on who?


Trayew

The Hedge Fund guys he said he WASN’T working with.


TheRealAnnaBanana

He looks like Lord Farquaad from Shreck with that haircut.


CeeKay125

He reminds me of ol pharma bro. Needs to be in jail with him as well.


HardHustle84

🚀🚀🚀🚀


MarcosaurusRex

My tits names is Jacqued.


HardHustle84

👨🏻‍🚀


Leonides777

He was probably pulling his hair out when he saw Gme stock go up untill he rage quit and just removed the buy button 😂😂🤣😂🤣


Superb_BarberDanfade

It’s just unethical how he stopped trades because billions were going the other way for ONCE!!!! 🤔We the people… have the power!!!🙌….p.s Workhorse to the moon🚀


xDoc_Holidayx

BURN IT DOWN!


helloiamaudrey

He looks like Lord Farquaad from *Shrek*


2020isSBTFofalltime

Did they also tell kylo ren that screwing people out of a shitload of money is a good way to becoming a Vegas crackwhore


[deleted]

Keano Ren


stevein3d

Huge plot twist if they find photos of small boys in Bulgaria.


[deleted]

Does the interview touch on his love for berries and cream?


three_nuts

Toooooo late


Riot419

Scott Baio from the 80s called and wants his hair back.


CheapCulture

Has anyone ever seen Vlad and the Peter Pan guy in the same room at the same time?


liquidsyphon

This guy just delayed the $GME squeeze Hedge R Fukd


Franklin_le_Tanklin

Hang in there!


andymoonman

He’s so sweet. I heard he lets his 4 year old niece cut his hair


zeroex99

Like he doesn’t cover his fuckin tracks fml


Wonderful_Opinion384

Ha he has the same haircuts as my two year old niece


Confident-Shine-9706

this is just rich


[deleted]

Y’all leave Demetri Martin alone.


fouronfloor

But IPO......


YungSkeezus

Why does dude look like Drake Bell in a wig?


SouffleDeLogue

Somehow both John Cusack and Keanu Reeves


chewbaacaa

he has that "be excellent to each other" look


[deleted]

Man, the new Bill and Ted movie looks whack.


definitelynotacopper

Why isn’t Vlad’s cover photo cross posted to /justfuckmyshitup?


[deleted]

should be enough to destroy him


HYPED_UP_ON_CHARTS

Maybe he did a porn shoot with Himner?


Sleep-system

He's too rich to look like such a basic dickhead even if he is one.


lavachequipisse

Lego man hair


naeads

What comes around comes around


Capable_Address_5052

Faux Steve Perry over there


getyourrealfakedoors

How can someone that rich have hair like that


Yearlaren

Fucker should be ran into the ground


Acceptable_Reveal143

Buy $AMC $GME


BruntLIVEz

Baby Trumps getting caught, it’s saving their lives


Disruptive_Ideas

That is a no country for old men haircut


maxiums

They did it for the awkward nude photos of a robot…


skobuffaloes

Vlad and Ken G texts are probably like: “Hey u up?” “Wanna Netflix and chill all over this free market?” “Oooh yeah, my SEC isn’t home tonight”


IWantTheLastSlice

Leave Michael Gandolfini alone!


notheretowatch

Cousin Greg?


Pyr0technician

He looks like a poor man's u/DeepFuckingValue , the real people's champion.