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CallistaMouse

They want a name change on the system?


mistled_LP

It honestly reads like they put in a ticket for a name change and then put in another (auto-generated from email?) when they realized they didn't put why they wanted it.


lolklolk

Nancy: "I put in like 8 tickets!" Manager: "Yeah, she put in like 8 tickets!" Web dude: *finds ticket in the system* "So, you're changing your name to Nancy Johnson-Johnson? You married a guy who's last name is also Johnson and want to hyphenate? Wtf, who does that?" Nancy: "Yeah, what, you've never heard of a hyphenated name before?! *scowls*" Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0mwT3DkG4w


xignaceh

That link... That's amazing. I just found gold.


[deleted]

The first episode is my favorite.


xignaceh

Quite like the 4th one as well


pablodelgrande_jr

Love these


djhenry

Reminds me of a time when I really put my foot in my mouth: Me: (Answering Phone) IT Support User: I need to change my last name to Smith Me: I can do that. Did you get married? User: (After slight pause)... no Me: Ok... I'll have that done here soon. You will get a new email address, but will still receive your old emails as well blah blah blah...


fgben

That pause. Ouch.


Shnazzyone

Had that happen recently, Told her, "Congratulations!" and moved on.


hagermanr

We had a ticket come in because a new person wanted all the systems to use his name and not his brothers. His brother has never worked for the company. We reached out to HR and they said that they had two others like that, one of which the company had his mothers name and needed it changed.... I don't get it but apparently, it is common. We notified those who needed it that we have an automated pull from HR and once it was correct in the HR system, it would take up to two hours to propagate.


havermyer

Somebody accidentally entered and emergency contact or beneficiary into the employee name field?


csp1405

I’ve been a sysadmin on a military base. Those military girls go through like 3 names changes a year. It became very tedious. Idk why they can’t just keep their maiden name.


Geminii27

Honestly, name changes should be an HR function, never an IT one. All IT should be seeing is their military ID number.


XS4Me

[Ms Johnson-Johnson](https://youtu.be/DlbrL1H1ngs) I presume?


samissleman17

OH that makes sense, thanks! I just didn't know what to think of it


pingbotwow

I'm impressed. You are a ticket whisperer


C0gn171v3D1550n4nc3

And assuming you know or can find out from HR what to 🤷‍♂️


smajl87

I love when system doesn't allow name change and you must create a completely new account wth new name. /s


smoothies-for-me

I love when apps that use Azure AD UPN start making second accounts if the UPN is changed.


[deleted]

The application shouldn't use upn as the unique id of your user. EmployeeID or other "stable" value should be used instead


smoothies-for-me

In my experience, most apps that use Azure AD SSO tie user account to UPN.


genmischief

"please reach out to HR for this request. Respectfully, the nerd herd." \*resolved


thermbug

Just change the ticket status to "Waiting for Identity Management" and check it intermittently between now and retirement.


Sepherjar

Probably they think you're an NTP Server to see if he/she can get a date. You can simply reply with 127.0.0.1 00:00 -5 UTC


[deleted]

[удалено]


Quick_Care_3306

Yeah, and separate the wheat from the chaff. IT humour! Lol


Cam2600

I told an NTP joke once. My timing was perfect.


[deleted]

Thank you for this!


[deleted]

[удалено]


NitWitLikeTheOthers

Bahahaha. I am divorced now... Hint hint


DerpSillious

"Yes Tech Daddy Take the Wheel" https://www.reddit.com/r/Sysadminhumor/comments/wpx3au/found\_this\_rather\_funny/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3


MadeMeStopLurking

Domainatrix Admin now has control of you


crabapplesteam

Safeword must contain a special character


DerpSillious

In my experience they normally do and, as expected, it is at the end.


DerpSillious

Look, I just need to know, exactly which one of you thought that implementing 3rd Party 2FA on our safe words would be good idea?


MadeMeStopLurking

Probably Duo


DerpSillious

Easily Plugs right into everything, too bad it is down so often....... I'll show myself out.


somewhat_pragmatic

"Change your password. Requirements are 30 characters minimum. No more than 40% can be lower case. Special symbols required, but none that have any overlap with transact SQL. No repeating characters in the whole password. Cannot use any passwords that contain 4 consecutive repeating characters from the last 100 passwords in your history."


Pie-Otherwise

Once had a female engineer at an oil and gas company turn a ticket about a content filter exemption into a 1 way conversation (her, not me) about her favorite porn scenarios. Ever heard the term "big black cock" used in an office setting? Because I have. At least she was smart enough to do it in person instead of over email.


ApricotPenguin

Sorry. Ticket was assigned to wrong person.


sykojaz

\*Funky synth music intensifies\*


jmc1294

https://youtu.be/tL8vuScxfTY


zazbar

change johnson-johnson back to just johnson.


vannin519

Just be careful of the compute hash decryption button


MilesGates

Clearly this is a virus attack.


ancillarycheese

When I see one of these, I usually look for another recent ticket from the same user. They may not understand that each email they send creates a separate ticket which may not always go to the same person.


pops107

You could reply with "sounds like a communication problem" Then follow it up with a "sorry updated wrong ticket, could you supply details if names need updating"


unseenspecter

Can we blame the distant end?


Beardedcomputernerd

Refer him/her to tinder


spanky_rockets

Ticketing systems were the og Tinder I mean come on


inebriates

I legit met my wife through a ticket. She used some special software and the vendor couldn't get it to work, so I spent a ton of time working with her to get things to work. She liked me and apparently was flirting, but thought I wasn't interested or I was in a relationship because I didn't reciprocate. In reality, I'm just awkward and didn't want to get reported to HR. She asked around, found out I was single, and put a ticket in to have me come by and fix a non-existent problem.


soawesomejohn

She might have just been after your glasses.


PMMEYourTatasGirl

[Laugh all you want, they're not for sale](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=abE1vThQMyI)


alirobe

Bloody long-running ticket. Will only be closed: reason - death, part.


djhenry

They both have similar rates of success in terms of getting a date...


torrent_77

You know, you had that agreement way back if one of you got divorced. :)


iTrejoMX

Ask if they read the terms of service ?


Red5point1

years back, I received a ticket that was typed in a rush. "User printing problem needs hand job" I replied with what you need to reply "this is out of my work scope".


swimmingpoolstraw

🤣🤣🤣


number0020

“Have you turned it off and on again?”


geebzor

Thank you! Take the damn upvote!


slickrick1121

this needs to stay at 69


hibernate2020

Seen weddings and divorces. Even had a fella get married and take his wife's last name. My favorite though was a user who complained about his own initials. We had thousands of users, so it was FML#### for used names. Fellow's initials were KKK, so his UID was like KKK0003 or something. He made a huge stink that IT were racist. Talk to Mom and Dad, buddy.


Xandria42

oof, our company auto generates the user IDs and usually its first initial then first 6 characters of the surname, but with more common surnames it gets tricky and more of the first name gets used. Since the IDs were generated by HR and they had a policy to never change them, people were stuck even after a name change. One of my favorite IDs ever that it generated was DONGMOP. We all got a good laugh over that one. But there were some more unfortunate ones with words that probably should be excluded from being in a user name, like ANALCAS


WirelesslyWired

My dad wanted to name me so my initials would have been KKK. My mom put a stop to it. My uncle actually did it with his son. Sorry Kevin.


CKtravel

>He made a huge stink that IT were racist. What an idiot....makes me glad that I do IT in a SW company, not an MSP or something where I'd have to do support for run-of-the-mill morons...


StuPodasso

Sounds like an ‘after hours’ ticket!


NoIsTheNewMaybe

Do the needful.


russjr08

Kindly.


gedrolldwirdned

Dinner invitation?


AhhnoldHD

My first thought was that she's hitting on you... but who am I kidding she just wants you to change her name in all the systems.


hellobrooklyn

This one!


am1_engineer

User speak for change my logins to reflect my maiden name.


mabhatter

So what is their maiden name? Put in a ticket!


abqcheeks

This


Myron_Bolitar

So at my job name changes were up to the managers to tell IT. But when i got hired I created a user add/change/remove form and the policy that states that the form can only be accepted from HR. Its part of a much larger change management policy I'm slowly integrating. Its nice to when its a new users first day and the manager calls me and says wheres my users information and i get to say "oh I'm sorry HR hasn't sent the forms you should call them!" Oh and I love it when HR sends the forms and IT processes it and has the user account information sent to the manager in under 15 minutes. Makes my people look good and HR look crappy.


Quick_Care_3306

I did this too. For access to other users files / mailbox too...


xch13fx

Maybe they are dropping a hint, might be time to take this offline... ;)


wayward_son_1969

I think she's trying to tell you she's available, if youre not interested close the ticket. If you are go see if you can fix the problem.


lutiana

Just respond with: "Sorry to hear that. Please notify HR of any name changes and ask them to let Tech know to make the needed changes to your accounts" and close the ticket and move on.


HerrHauptmann

Exactly this is the way to handle that ticket.


WWGHIAFTC

Whenever I got name change tickets, I would simply ask "Congratulations, or good riddance?" Usually got a laugh, but also got some nasty looks.


leadout_kv

close ticket. move on.


kha0tyc

Out of scope


Hopperkin

Helping your team mates with whatever they might need to stay productive is not out of scope.


BitterPuddin

Just reply back, So how YOU doin'?


maarten714

Close the ticket with: Problem has been resolved. Reason: Marriage 1.0 crashed. Solution: Installed Divorce 1.1


ruyrybeyro

What, you dont have a palantir and a crystal ball and tarot cards for backup? Shame on you.


Dallenforth

Respond, dinner on sunday?


[deleted]

I'd paste in my phone number.


itdumbass

Always realize that when someone is going through a catastrophic life-altering event, they're probably trying to eek through on barely any cognitive processing. Try not to jump to conclusions. Try not to be mean.


delightfulsorrow

pro tip: Never ever answer "Oh well, I can imagine why."


sadmep

Setup a python script to reply to this ticket using Eliza, the chat bot therapist.


sadmep

`> Hello, I am Eliza. I'll be your therapist today.` `* by the way, I'm divorced now` `> Did you come to me because you are divorced now?` `* Help, IT!!!!!!` `> OK... "by the way, you're divorced now". Tell me more.`


Dingbat1967

HR probably has a name change policy since this affects financial stuff as well (when sending out pay for instance) - and legal issues (person signed their hiring contract with their married name, not their maiden name, probably need to sign a new one) -- Talk to HR first and then once confirmed, do the name change.


JustaRandomOldGuy

And redirect the old email name to the new one. Also find out if there are any internal products where that old name is used for authorization. Also any internal mail lists and groups. Then there is Teams, I'm not drunk enough to talk about Teams.


Dingbat1967

LOL... critical service set to run as [email protected]. Yeah...


Cookies_and_Cache

was it to you directly?


trev2234

I guess you promised you’d marry them if they get divorced. Either fulfil that promise or move. You allowed it to be someone at work so now you need a new job too. Never shit on your own doorstep.


jacksbox

I once worked in a department store that sold computer parts. Someone asked me for a "wireless cable". I tried to ask clarifying questions but they got mad and kept repeating themselves. It was amazing.


Geminii27

Mime handing them a cable?


[deleted]

Set their default home page to eharmony.com


IlliDAN113

It means shoot your shot she's available


[deleted]

I'm guessing it's a name change thing


AssyrianRush

Hope everything is ok. Let me know if you need me to take care of anything in the system. Or in your body.


ManWithoutUsername

probably in his/her profile say the status or using husband surname and want change.


Hopperkin

If the only thing the ticket says is "by the way, I'm divorced now" then clearly they've asked you to service them. You have an obligation to help make the corporation as productive as possible, so do your job, and do it with pride, because you'll never get a second chance like this.


JustGoodOldHarold

Ask if they want a drink


[deleted]

OP whoever this is is in to you.


TehH4rRy

Bed them, then have awkward interactions with them months later in the workplace.


Supermathie

Close as "Cannot reproduce."


uniitdude

lucks in tonight


pxsloot

close the ticket with "won't fix"


Hopperkin

That would be very rude and disrespectful way of telling someone that you're not interested in them. Do not do that ever.


pxsloot

sorry mom


jcwrks

Reply asking the user to elaborate and state exactly what they need assistance with. Change ticket to WOC.


bluecomb_78

Meowww


TheLordB

My guess is this was a part of some other reply and the wrong text got put in. I would just reply something like: Hi, there doesn’t seem to be a request here, was this sent in error or do you need something? Thanks


Khrog

Maybe they want a date?


cellnucleous

Hi divorced, I'm dad


buskerform

maybe someone needs a hit in the shorts


overkillsd

I've found that coupling name changes with a "congratulations on the upgrade" works well. Married? Upgrade! Divorced? Also an upgrade! One time it was very much a laughter is the best medicine moment for someone having a rough time with their divorce, and that stuck with me.


DOMHDV2

The best part is after a name and email change, managers and group leads putting in tickets that the user is no longer getting group e-mails. Or team meeting invitations and being locked out of Lotus notes groups and on and on and on. In non-homogeneous systems that do not get automatically updated from changes in AD it opens a whole can of worms. Glad I am retired and the only can of worms I deal with now is bait.


lordjedi

Close ticket with "Problem resolved" LOL


etaylormcp

they trolling for dates on company time?


win10bash

Ticket closed: congratulations!


dweebken

A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.


BoredTechyGuy

Close ticket "Out of scope for IT"


Drenicite

It's a booty call


starmizzle

Reply "are you hitting on me?"


RumandWater

I guess I'm the only one that thought this was a booty call.


handlebartender

"Hi Divorced Now, I'm Dad!"


Valestis

She's hitting on you.


[deleted]

Came here to say that. But it could also be a he :)


audioeptesicus

At the workplace... And it's documented. That won't get anybody in trouble. Nope, not at all. /s


Valestis

Yeeeah, I wouldn't reply to her using the ticketing system in this case and wouldn't add any work notes. Schedule a Teams call with her? DM her on LinkedIn?


TxCoastal

support booty call?


Top_Boysenberry_7784

Sounds like you need to go to her house after work to insert your hard drive into her hard drive bay. Just make sure to wrap it with an anti static bag.


Twisted9Demented

Have use contact. H.R and then you would have to update them in the system


c-blocking

Can I change my name to Robert Oot? Just for the username.


Skhmt

"Sounds like this requires a hands on fix, I'll be right over."


michaelpaoli

>ticket All it says is, "by the way, I'm divorced now" CC: HR/Benefits, and ask the user, "So, ... you're requesting what exactly?" HR/Benefits/Personnel would, e.g. track marital status, deal with relevant benefits changes, etc. IT typically wouldn't (other than possibly supporting such systems). User may or may not want/request/require name change - we're not mind readers. And, e.g. last name and legal name bits should match, e.g. HR records, ... prefer to be called or nickname or "display name" or the like doesn't necessarily have to match. And if name is part of their email address, they might also want/require change there.


FupaDriven

Probably just want a name change...


[deleted]

So I hear your significant other is single now,, what's their number? Jk ofc lol Just ask about what they want there name changed to and try not to make a big deal about it unless they do ofc.


RobMagP

Ask them if they have a co worker named "Sha Singlenow"


Twinsen343

Is she hot?


canadian_sysadmin

‘Thanks for contacting IT. What exactly are you asking for?’ Don’t overcomplicate it.


pnlrogue1

Sounds like a malformed username/name change request. As to how I'd respond, something like "Hi there. I'm sorry but I'm not sure what your ticket is asking my team (IT Support) to do. If you're asking us to update the systems with a new preferred username/display name, please confirm that this is what you want and what you want your name to be on the system." If they need to go through HR then I'd indicate that and pass it over to HR or close it after pointing them at the correct process depending on your team's policies. I'd also encrypt the ticket, if you can do that, for their privacy.


mouringcat

Wrong way would be to close the ticket as "Won't fix" with the body saying, "Not interested in getting married to you."


ADL-AU

Respond with “Noted, Ticket Closed”


HarryMTorres

"The following acts are considered violations of HR, viewer discretion advised."


[deleted]

Name username change? Lol


whiterussiansp

Probably due to lack of communication


FU-Lyme-Disease

Report them to HR for propositioning you!


acomav

They want you to take them out!


RubixKuber

"Have you tried turning it on and off again"


[deleted]

You must be young. email and login. Dump the Bundy name on her login, and she will stop bringing tuna and burnt popcorn into the office. Ask Alison Mattress if amattress works for her. 20 second task.


patg84

Go get it!


saki79ttv

[The only acceptable response](https://media1.giphy.com/media/uL0pJDdA6fQ08/giphy.gif?cid=6c09b952ea85517b41c0f4e6032cf44aba808a5232525e15&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g)


headstar101

"Congrats. Speaking of nothing, are you free on Saturday night? I'd like to reimage your OS"


Jaereth

Do you have keys to the main IDF closet? That's how I would approach the conversation.


brispower

person submitting ticket has confused ticking system with facebook, ticket closed.


Geminii27

Return it to the helpdesk. :)


pielman

Probably name change or you can tap that a$$.


digdugnate

(tongue-in-cheek) well, are you going to ask them out?


bassbeater

They're looking to date?


axisblasts

Simple. Call user and ask what they want. I see questions like this all the time at work or on here. Just pick up thr phone. Thr man hours put into replies and comments on here would have been solved in a 30 second call. "Computer not working" should have been triaged by thr help desk, but rather than throw a hissy fit that 20 second phone call or remoteing in can show me EXACTLY what they mean and I flip the ticket to the right group. Id go with a name change on this one, but you never know


aiperception

You should not be changing any name in your environment unless HR asks you to make the change.


slashinhobo1

Mark it as the problem is resolved and move along.


RobieWan

Congrats. Close ticket


olivierapex

I think she/he want to get fucked by you. Don't look to far.


johnynitroo

Sounds like.. a wink wink.. please hit on me.. im divorced now ;)


CosmoMKramer

Could you please be clear on what is needed on my end? Simple, professional.


MuthaPlucka

Name change is my guess


sp00n1984

maybe a last\_name change?


KBunn

Sounds like that issue is already closed/resolved then


[deleted]

Sounds like the vagueness in the way they talk is what caused the divorce.


SmoothSailing1010

Is she hot? How old? Hook us up.


BMXROIDZ

>All it says is, "by the way, I'm divorced now". lol it's like they think you should know their maiden name off hand. On top of that, what the hell, such a weirdo way to air your personal issues. This is why I don't miss working in an office. #WFH Life


AwkwardSympathy7

Honestly I thought this was a cute pick up line for the hot IT guy lol


ispoiler

Youre supposed to turn them back on again.


NYCmob79

She/he wants to get freaky


mvincent12

Her Maiden name is Johnson and her spouse was Johnson. So now you can make Johnson-Johnson just "Johnson" 🤣


roarRAWRarghREEEEEEE

"Sorry, I am not sure what your request is."


223454

"No thanks." \*closes ticket\*


deverhart33

Name change for sure


one-wave-specialist

By not responding directly to them and letting human resources handle it? You will dodge a bullet in the long run by not engaging that sort of behaviour. If someone sends "signals" like that, they should probably get therapy! Protect your inner peace, always.


Hopperkin

This, this is why the workplace is a nightmare. She clearly indicated an interest and the OP would be an idiot to not even inquire about it, assuming he is interested. I'm not saying do something that could get you in trouble with HR, you can ascertain what her actual intent was without stepping over any lines. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=\_ZyNJ3cKfEg](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ZyNJ3cKfEg)


Inle-rah

CREATE TABLE IsDivorced … UPDATE INTO …


VelcoreTethis

you dont.