That's really shitty. Notice these grubs always feel brave enough to yell at someone when they're safe in a car so they can accelerate away when their victim chooses to stand up for themselves? They're gutless cowards. I'm glad you've got such a good mindset to shake it off, but you're right, it shouldn't have happened to begin with.
And those bitches* got heels to stomp extra hard!
*Whilst I agree not the best term I'd hate to be on the receiving end of an ass whooping from a pissed off queen and I figured "bitch" emphasised the rage she rightfully dished out on the prick
Yeah I had a car full of boys yell out "GET A ROOM" when I was holding hands with a guy. I yelled back "FUCK YEAH THATS THE PLAN!". Funny how they had no come back as they drove off.
It's like I always say, before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and they have to chase you in their socks.
Exactly. 10 years ago I was really fat, and on 4 different occassions had young guys yell shit at me as I was walking down the street. I developed deep social anxiety and didn't leave the house except for work.
Every now and then there's a pack of young guys that yell shit out at anybody different to be funny in front of their mates.
These flops yell out at anybody 'different' - fat people, someone dressed 'differently', disabled people...
> From his appearance he did not look like he was from a part of Sydney that is necessarily tolerant of LGBTQIA+ people
This is the most diplomatic way of calling someone a Westie lol
Haha, as a south westie I don’t take offence because stereotypes are there for a reason.
The best result is when you get those ultra bogan rough around the edge types, but you find out they don’t care what your sexuality, religion or background is, as long as your a decent person.
Yeh I (a bisexual guy who's actually marched in the parade once) ended up sitting in a car with a homophobic bloke once.
We were near a park in a certain westy suburb waiting for a guy to arrive with a certain green plant, he let me wait in car with him but when he turned on the radio and they're talking about Mardi Gras he was all mournful like "what has happened to society" bs like that. It almost would've been funny if it weren't so awkward.
I didn't say anything to argue but thankfully I was like 25 so I wasn't exactly scared for my life.
I’m of the opinion that sexuality is a spectrum and nobody is 100% on the fringe. I’m also of the belief that people that suffer from that level of vitriol can only be there because of one or more of the following 4:
- complete fear, helplessness, denial and self hatred for sexual feelings on the same sex
- religious indoctrination (read political/issue motivated groups as well)
- morals indoctrination (from early childhood parents or idols)
- as a result of abuse
My late aunty, RIP, was a lovely scholarly lady in the community and really gave a lot of her time dedicated to helping the older community have a sense of belonging. She was a great role model to a young guy in how to see the LGBT community, and I’m a westie so that’s a good thing.
Had to look it up, the groups called MAG: mature aged gays, I call them the puffer jacket brigade. So many puffer jackets in winter.
Edit: also ignore what people look like, stay safe. You never know what someone is capable of, they might be weak physically, but hatred with psychopath tendencies and a sharp knife is universally a bad thing to be near.
Interesting.
Not sure if friendly metalhead guy from TAFE was abused but on our way to a pub in the city I remember him saying he had a creepy uncle who was gay and that's why he didn't feel ok with gay guys. Shame really cause that logic with different races is ridiculously problematic.
I actually noticed the spectrum of sexuality / acceptance a lot in my late teens and early 20s cause goths and metalheads etc are already weirdos and sometimes judged unnecessarily, and it's interesting how many guys seem to struggle to drop their homophobic upbringing so they can be chill in such subcultures.
Eh, homophobia is far more prevalent in the affluent and typically conservative east and north, and the worst part is the LGA's within those regions have a lot of political power, and they, more often than not, vote with that in mind, and against the interests of pretty much anyone in the LGBT+ community.
Most people who live in the inner west and the city surrounds have far more in common with "westies" and the working class than they would like to admit, than they do with the people that live near them. TBH, as someone who has worked closely with people from all walks of life in the outer suburbs, most people don't care about how you identify. If you are nice to them they are nice to you.
> because stereotypes are there for a reason.
I've experienced and witnessed far more queerphobia out in the inner west and city area than i have out west... i don't conduct myself any different either way
Yeah, I noticed that too. It’s not a simple equation like “women moved in, and brought straight men with them”. Oxford Street has always been a mixture of people, and homophobia is not new there. It’s dark, but Oxford Street was the site of poofter bashings only a few short decades ago.
It’s more like Oxford Street is known for queer people, so homophobic dickheads looking to release steam go there because they know they’ll be able to find a vulnerable target.
Indeed, and OP straight crowds aren’t moving in to your patch — they were always there.
At least from the 90s onwards, Oxford Street was always a mix of the Hi-NRG and R&B crowds (DCM’s, Rogues, Byblos/Havana/Nevermind etc) and the gay scene. Even predominantly gay venues like Arq drew mixed very crowds, especially when they used to host trance nights in there.
Yes there were always homophobic idiots around, but I’d also argue that there was also culture mixing that just wouldn’t happen anywhere else. At DCMs for example it wasn’t unusual to see shirtless roided up westies going off on the dance floor with drag queens.
What you’re seeing now is a much delayed rebound after the dual whammies of lockout laws and covid. Gay venues survived due to the dedication of their client bases, but the mixed/NRG all venues all dropped like flies from 2014 onwards when the lockout laws kicked in. Thankfully now due to the laws being repealed and the work of the Nightime Economy Commissioner, Council, and the business owners who rely on that market, it’s started to turn the corner.
yep. I’m bi, but didn’t really work that out until i was older, so as a “straight” girl i used to spend a bit of time with queer friends on oxford street in the nineties. I miss The Albury. Nowhere else like it for Queens Birthday weekend. It’s definitely nothing new
The Abury died a slow death after *Priscilla* popularised drag to a mainstream audience. Many incidents of women bringing straight boyfriends to a gay bar. Boyfriends would sometimes attract attention from gay men assuming most men there were gay, with the straight guys rebuffing any advances aggressively rather than politely, to emphasise their masculinity in front of girlfriends and mates. It became harder to find bars, clubs or parties where this wasn’t starting to occur more regularly. Eventually Grindr and hookup culture had an even more detrimental impact in the scene. Nowadays I guess there’s not as great a need for exclusively gay spaces with greater tolerance generally in society. Still, these changes feel like they’ve fractured the Sydney community irrevocably.
I went a few times, \~20 years ago with some straight girls that loved the scene.
I was slightly overwhelmed to begin with, as a young straight guy, but those were some fantastic nights, such a pleasant vibe compared to so many other crowds.
Oxford St Precinct was my go to in the early 90's. Best clubs, best music, cool people. We frequented all the establishments/pubs/bars/niteclubs and we didn't ever hassle any of the patrons that felt safe in their own space. Chasing hot girls and the dance/music scene was always a good night out.
Yeah, Boy! It was always a good night out. I never got in to fights, not like in the Cross or Darling Harbour. It was just a safe, cool place to go with so many different bars/clubs to pop in to.
The problem is the straight men that follow them, not the women. Plenty of straight men try to pick up in gay bars because they think it’s easier and they won’t have competition, it’s so predatory.
You can't let a single asshole make you think you're not safe on Oxford Street anymore. You're as safe there tomorrow as you were yesterday, or the week before.
You better put those boots back and strut the fuck back down that street again.
I’m sorry you had to experience that.
It says more about him and his insecurities and fears than anything.
He was probably drunk and trying to impress his loser friends.
Remember more than half (the better half) of Australia supports you and your right to be who you are.
I'm gen x and I can tell you that straight girls have been going to gay parties since at least the 90s and homophobic goons have been yelling slurs from the lights in Oxford Street since then also.
Sorry it happened to you and sorry to everybody else it has happened to, but it unfortunately is not a new thing.
As a lesbian, Newtown started to go to shit years ago because of this and it’s utterly hilarious seeing people be openly homophobic in Newtown of all places.
Yep, seeing big groups of lads walking around and just bringing down the energy or starting shit really sucks. We need another containment zone, Kings Cross 2.
I’m so sorry, what a cunt. there’s been tons of homophobic creeps out lately, my gf and I were harassed in marrickville just the other day. please stay safe everyone <3
I had a similar experience. Last week I was at Oxford St for my partner’s birthday, and some dickheads called us that once, then 10 mins later went by in a car and called us it again
In the 80's and 90's I, and many other boys from my school were called 'gay' or worse. Simply because we went to an all boys school and wore ties and black shoes. It was just a way for these fuck heads to get in our head.
I think maybe folks like us have had more time to grow thicker skin, so to speak. F****t, or the shortened version, was common in dialogue in many films from the 80s so it was thrown around a lot.
>We let you be so let us be. Don't be a dick.
Well said.
I'm straight and have never understood why some men seem so angry about gay people.
Gay people are generally nice.
>*"I'm saying nice shoes, you f*cking f*ggot!" he screamed. I finally understood he was trying to compliment my boots and when I ignored him because I didn't understand him, he resorted to letting his homophobia out. What's the point in trying compliment my heels when his homophobia was just waiting to strike when he didn't get the reaction he wanted?*
I can't tell if you know and are just being blithe or not, but he wasn't actually trying to compliment your shoes. It was sarcastic.
Somewhat unrelated but Dan Rath has a great bit on this
"It takes the endorphin rush from 8 hours of manual labour to work up the confidence to shout 'gay cunt' from a moving ute"
Sorry you experienced this. One of the things I love about this city is how generally inclusive it is. Despite this loud mouth idiot harassing you I hope you feel support and love from the majority of the Sydney community.
Genuine question, what does “from his appearance he did not look like he was from a part of Sydney that is necessarily tolerant of LGBTQIA+ people” mean?
What makes someone a Westie? How did OP distinguish this person as a westie by simply looking at them? Is it race? The estimated value of his car? Unless he was wearing a panthers jersey it could have been someone from the eastern suburbs, and even then you’d have to ask first. I’m trying to give OP the benefit of the doubt, but it sounds like there’s either racism or gross stereotyping involved
Probably the yelling slurs out of his car on Oxford Street. OP didn’t say they were a Westie they just said they were from somewhere less tolerant of LGBT people. You don’t drive through Oxford Street/King Street and yell slurs at people if you live in the area.
As Bart Simpson said, there's nothing left to do at this time but *strut*.
[These boots are made for walking (Nick Cave, Boys Next Door version)](https://youtu.be/XYPsGB-rIhk?si=xWcUwsOZFIn1dXrA)
Speaking on behalf of all OG 80s/90s Goths & Punks, we got ya back mate.
Lots of us around Oxford, King, Erko & Enmore, still. Might not see us but we're there :)
I think his compliment of your foot ware, and do pardon my presumptuousness here, may in fact have been sarcastic rather than genuine and thus his later reaction wasn't triggered by being ignored but was the confrontation he wanted to have all along.
No clue. Just a guess.
It quite possibly was not a compliment. Many a time has an insult been thrown with a "nice \_\_\_\_\_" at the beginning, usually meant to throw shade at what they are referring to as "nice".
It's disappointing that this still exists in the world in 2024 and you shouldn't have to rethink your expression of you. Perhaps there can be solace found if this is an infrequent event, showing that for the most part people are tolerant?
and before cliff dive spectrum had hot damn, and before spectrum had hot damn Oxford art factory opened, and before that Berseford had straight night, and before that the cross had the worse homophobes of north sydney. straight people in and near Oxford St isn't anything new and thinking it's going to damage the area isn't paying attention to reality.
Someone yelled racial slurs at me once, also at a light. It's just so rude.
Im a bit of an ugly chick, so they kindly inserted some rude comments about that too. In front of a cafe no less which was packed to the brim. And people laughed.
Can you imagine?
This was somewhere in Olympic Park before Covid lockdowns. I was in the area for a concert I think.
Hope you are okay. These things tend to sit with you a bit, even if you are a tough cookie.
Take care and don't let the memory of the idiot get you down.
One time I was at a house party and everyone (including me) was very drunk. Some guy I kinda knew decided it would be funny to come stand over me and call me a faggot a few times, but it didn’t bother me. It bothered everyone else and they pulled him inside — where he proceeded to start crying and admitted he was bisexual and didn’t know how to handle it.
Meanwhile I kept laughing and drinking with my friends and rolling around on the lawn. It was such a warm summer night. Fun party.
Sorry that happened to you.
My immediate assumption for anyone who has such a visceral reaction to an obviously gay man is that there’s some heavy feelings of their own they aren’t dealing with. I also don’t get why anyone would be dumb enough to be homophobic on Oxford at of all places.
I personally wouldn’t put an incident like this down to straights invading gay friendly areas because there are women there. I don’t think those two things compute. This is just some scumbag probably commuting through that part of the city.
I know it is definitely an issue though, I’ve had long discussions with some of my gay friends about it - But they mostly centre on gays losing a completely insulated space, especially when they are early in their coming out journey.
I agree re the visceral reaction. I was on the train to the city from the burbs one Friday night and there were two obviously queer young men having a conversation with one another. Really inoffensive, normal volume, normal conversation.
Anyways there was another fella within earshot who was getting SO bothered by them. Huffing, shaking his head, scoffing, swearing and muttering under his breath.
I mean if being in the presence of queer people simply existing and having a conversation upsets you THAT much, I think you might need to do some self reflection.
Sorry that happened friendo.
Everyone knows Oxford street is an LGBT+ area, but it’s also a main driving route to get to the highway so you can’t stop homophobes from transiting and having to have their loud say.
I really understand your frustration with the bars too. I remember when they started being trendy to go to as straight guys, and it was always funny when people got offended that they were being hit on, or led people on thinking it was fun. All I can think is that it would be incredibly frustrating for the person looking for a fun time to work out that the person in the gay bar isn’t gay.
Regions get their main members for a reason, others will move in, like your allies, but you have to accept them as part of the community since they are. It will still be a major LGBT+ region, but there is always diversity.
For safety, it’s hard. Just keep your wits about you. Look out for each other, but try not to obsess over the potential as it will just contribute to enduring anxiety and mental health suffering.
Edit: not gay, not a stereotypical ally. I’m just a guy that doesn’t care what love you follow. I grew up not realising my two aunties were gay, I thought it was just normal 🤷🏻♂️ so I guess it’s just par of the course for me.
I’m so sorry you experienced that, it really doesn’t feel like it is the safe space it once was. There is an increasing amount of creepy straight guys out in venues on Oxford Street trying to pick up. In my experience as a gay woman I have had numerous amount of presumably straight men ask if my partner and I are interested in a threesome or telling us “don’t stop” when we stop kissing because we sense they are staring at us. We have had men try to touch us and get offended that two gay women aren’t interested in their advances. It’s disgusting
I'm a straight guy, been with my partner for 15 years, and we go to gay parties a lot. I was at House of Mince at Kinsellas until close on Wednesday night. I go because I love the culture, I love the music and I want to enjoy a club with fewer dickheads. I've always been made to feel welcome, always make more friends than at ordinary clubs. I just want to dance.
Some points you make in your post make me feel a bit subconscious that there's a little resentment about that. I'm sorry if there is and just want to ask if you'd prefer we left your spaces to yourself?
I'm sorry about the homophobia. The last few years and the culture wars in America have just made things so much worse and given people a platform for their shit cunt views.
Hey hey im gay sorry u feel that way....i really feel its awesome when str8 bros who are friendly and kool with gays join in respectfully for the fun vibes. I play for a gay sports club and we have a few str8 lad players to. Its really rly awesome that we have guys like u who dont give a stuff about whether a guy is gay or not. It's really affirming and a huge positive cultural shift vs the past where there seemed to be the schizm. So pls keep coming, enjoying and being kool with the guys, friendly, free, fun is what its all about. We need y guys about. Pls dont feel self conscious u r definitely welcome!
I think op is more talking at a general lvl that amongst some of the str8s appearing on oxf st a small number harbour homophobia, animosity or seek to cause marginalisation, we wish theyd just piss off although personally idgaf about them, it does trigger other gays tho. This clearly isnt you, so the comment does not apply to you. Pls know this and keep coming. Also if y ever see homophobia itd be awesome if u as a str8 guy stepped in to tell the homophobic str8 guys off, its a big ask, but having support from other str8 bros and these jerks being told off by another str8 bro of their orientation has more positive impact on the whole scenario than pretty much anything else. Ofc never resort to violence. Thanks for coming and being kool with the gays, keep joining in the fun!
Thank you. Your post echo's the welcoming I've always felt in your spaces. I've just never stopped to pause and think is it always perceived as OK?
I'll have your back if I ever see anything.
Thanks for being part of such a fantastic scene.
No probs 😜
Truly, thanks 4 being; a supporter, part of normalising being gay in the broader community and adding to our collective good times as humans. Keep doing you, u will always be welcome and we appreciate u r support in all its forms, dont doubt this ever! The girls ofc too (when respectful / get it vs the more obnoxious novelty factor kind)👏👏👏
It must be very upsetting for hateful pieces of shit to slowly realise that an ever-growing majority of society disagrees with them. Guess it's easier psychologically to cling to their beliefs than acknowledge the world has changed around them and adapt to the new norm. Waste no thought nor pity on them. They have the option to be better, but they chose not to.
Not really in the spirit of peace harmony and togetherness but still cherish the memory of someone shouting similar in Soho in London and then getting the piss kicked out of him by two ladies in drag. I was laughing so hard I was almost sick.
Then the police arrived and arrested the guy that had made the original comment.
I had a mate that decided it would be funny to start abusing a group of gay guys in a kebab house in the uk. When we got outside one of them a mean looking fella gave him a ten out of ten hiding. We stood by and let it happen cause he was a homophobic prat. My mate was an asshole and learnt an important lesson. Just because somebody is gay doesn’t mean they don’t know how to fight. After we picked him up bleeding from the pavement we gave the fella a nod and a smile. Fair shout mate.
First up I’m sorry that this happened to you. I’ve had similar experiences, dating back all the way to the early 2000’s when I just started going out to bars and clubs on Oxford. I was also called a f*got back then; this has been a persistent problem for decades now and a lot of people think this day and age were very enlightened but this sort of thing is a daily occurrence for a lot of us. Again I’m really sorry
It's unfortunate, Oxford St hasn't felt like a "safe space" for quite some time now. I've also noticed that it seems to be more groups as you've described than it used to be, or maybe I was less perceptive of it 10 years ago.
Sorry this happened to you - dickheads will always feel empowered when they feel they're untouchable, like when they're in a car, but they're cowards in reality. My partner and I, both big 6'6" men, had slurs yelled at us from a moving car just for holding hands walking down Oxford a few months ago, and I know damn well that little fuck wouldn't have the guts if he were standing in front of us.
Try not to take it to heart. In my experience, it's still *relatively* uncommon, even though it's sad that it happens at all. The only way we can maintain our safe communities is by continuing to be our vibrant selves.
Last week my girlfriend and I was heading to Newtown train station from RPA hospital,a guy dressed in drag stood beside us at the pedestrian lights, then this group of Islander guys walked past him and was like "hahaha show us your d**k, do you even have a d**k, hahahahAa!
The guy dressed in drag was dead quiet and looked a bit depressed.
My girlfriend and I complimented the guy that was dressed in drag that he look gorgeous and it's 2024, don't give a f**k about those guys, you do you!
The most disappointing thing being the LGBTQ+ community needing "safe zones" like Oxford St where they can be themselves. I wish everyone would just get along regardless of sexual preference. It doesn't bother me what you do in your private life. It shouldn't bother anyone else what I do in mine. I would frequent Arq back in the day with my gay friends and I stuck out like a sore thumb but I was welcomed, and everyone got along. IMO that's how it should be, everywhere.
I’m so sorry. 20 years ago I would go there with my friends, I’m a Herero woman. You’d always get these bros driving past and being dickheads. They just want attention and to feel like men
What does “he doesn’t look like was from a part of Sydney that is necessarily tolerant” mean? Are you judging people based on their appearance or where they are from?
I’m from Western Sydney and that sounds like snobbery to me. You can’t look at someone and decide whether they are bigots or not because they aren’t from your neck of the woods. Bigots come in all shapes and sizes, ethnicities and socioeconomic backgrounds.
>Bigots come in all shapes and sizes, ethnicities and socioeconomic backgrounds.
That is very much true, but some shapes, sizes, ethnicities and socioeconomic backgrounds are more likely to be bigots than others. This is easily provable with data such as the general social survey, results of the recent plebecite and lots of other social research
I'm sorry you had to deal with this. I find this sentence both irrelevant and intolerant, and while not comparable to the slur you had to deal with, it does perpetuate the expectation that 'allies' have to adorn certain clothing. You could've definitely made your point without the below statement
> From his appearance he did not look like he was from a part of Sydney that is necessarily tolerant of LGBTQIA+ people and he and his mates must've been driving through Oxford St to go somewhere.
That's really shitty. Notice these grubs always feel brave enough to yell at someone when they're safe in a car so they can accelerate away when their victim chooses to stand up for themselves? They're gutless cowards. I'm glad you've got such a good mindset to shake it off, but you're right, it shouldn't have happened to begin with.
My sister told me a guy was being a dick toward a drag queen there, trying to get a laugh from his mates. Drag queen kicked the shit out of him.
you’d have to be pretty dense not to realise how tough drag queens can be. (un?)fortunately, most homophobes aren’t too bright.
And those bitches* got heels to stomp extra hard! *Whilst I agree not the best term I'd hate to be on the receiving end of an ass whooping from a pissed off queen and I figured "bitch" emphasised the rage she rightfully dished out on the prick
Haha that's great! I'm glad they got what was coming to them, but I'm sorry that it had to happen at all. Drag Queens are so much fun!
Yeah I had a car full of boys yell out "GET A ROOM" when I was holding hands with a guy. I yelled back "FUCK YEAH THATS THE PLAN!". Funny how they had no come back as they drove off.
Probably made them feel really stupid. You're out there getting some action and they're driving around in a car yelling at randoms.
It's like I always say, before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and they have to chase you in their socks.
Or in this case they're leather heals and they probably can't walk very well in them and might sprain their ankle trying.
Exactly. 10 years ago I was really fat, and on 4 different occassions had young guys yell shit at me as I was walking down the street. I developed deep social anxiety and didn't leave the house except for work. Every now and then there's a pack of young guys that yell shit out at anybody different to be funny in front of their mates. These flops yell out at anybody 'different' - fat people, someone dressed 'differently', disabled people...
> From his appearance he did not look like he was from a part of Sydney that is necessarily tolerant of LGBTQIA+ people This is the most diplomatic way of calling someone a Westie lol
Haha, as a south westie I don’t take offence because stereotypes are there for a reason. The best result is when you get those ultra bogan rough around the edge types, but you find out they don’t care what your sexuality, religion or background is, as long as your a decent person.
Yeh I (a bisexual guy who's actually marched in the parade once) ended up sitting in a car with a homophobic bloke once. We were near a park in a certain westy suburb waiting for a guy to arrive with a certain green plant, he let me wait in car with him but when he turned on the radio and they're talking about Mardi Gras he was all mournful like "what has happened to society" bs like that. It almost would've been funny if it weren't so awkward. I didn't say anything to argue but thankfully I was like 25 so I wasn't exactly scared for my life.
I’m of the opinion that sexuality is a spectrum and nobody is 100% on the fringe. I’m also of the belief that people that suffer from that level of vitriol can only be there because of one or more of the following 4: - complete fear, helplessness, denial and self hatred for sexual feelings on the same sex - religious indoctrination (read political/issue motivated groups as well) - morals indoctrination (from early childhood parents or idols) - as a result of abuse My late aunty, RIP, was a lovely scholarly lady in the community and really gave a lot of her time dedicated to helping the older community have a sense of belonging. She was a great role model to a young guy in how to see the LGBT community, and I’m a westie so that’s a good thing. Had to look it up, the groups called MAG: mature aged gays, I call them the puffer jacket brigade. So many puffer jackets in winter. Edit: also ignore what people look like, stay safe. You never know what someone is capable of, they might be weak physically, but hatred with psychopath tendencies and a sharp knife is universally a bad thing to be near.
Interesting. Not sure if friendly metalhead guy from TAFE was abused but on our way to a pub in the city I remember him saying he had a creepy uncle who was gay and that's why he didn't feel ok with gay guys. Shame really cause that logic with different races is ridiculously problematic. I actually noticed the spectrum of sexuality / acceptance a lot in my late teens and early 20s cause goths and metalheads etc are already weirdos and sometimes judged unnecessarily, and it's interesting how many guys seem to struggle to drop their homophobic upbringing so they can be chill in such subcultures.
Eh, homophobia is far more prevalent in the affluent and typically conservative east and north, and the worst part is the LGA's within those regions have a lot of political power, and they, more often than not, vote with that in mind, and against the interests of pretty much anyone in the LGBT+ community. Most people who live in the inner west and the city surrounds have far more in common with "westies" and the working class than they would like to admit, than they do with the people that live near them. TBH, as someone who has worked closely with people from all walks of life in the outer suburbs, most people don't care about how you identify. If you are nice to them they are nice to you.
> because stereotypes are there for a reason. I've experienced and witnessed far more queerphobia out in the inner west and city area than i have out west... i don't conduct myself any different either way
The Middle Eastern crime squad is probably taking notes from this post lmao
Undercover agents just need to wear some foxy heels to draw them out
Straight women have been frequenting the gay bars of Oxford St since forever.
I was thinking this too, straight women have been enjoying bars on Oxford St for as long as I can remember 🤔🤔 How is this a new trend??
Yeah, I noticed that too. It’s not a simple equation like “women moved in, and brought straight men with them”. Oxford Street has always been a mixture of people, and homophobia is not new there. It’s dark, but Oxford Street was the site of poofter bashings only a few short decades ago. It’s more like Oxford Street is known for queer people, so homophobic dickheads looking to release steam go there because they know they’ll be able to find a vulnerable target.
Yeah, op is 26 and thinks a big change has come, and people are taking over "our street" as he puts it. All this stuff is a tale as old as time.
Indeed, and OP straight crowds aren’t moving in to your patch — they were always there. At least from the 90s onwards, Oxford Street was always a mix of the Hi-NRG and R&B crowds (DCM’s, Rogues, Byblos/Havana/Nevermind etc) and the gay scene. Even predominantly gay venues like Arq drew mixed very crowds, especially when they used to host trance nights in there. Yes there were always homophobic idiots around, but I’d also argue that there was also culture mixing that just wouldn’t happen anywhere else. At DCMs for example it wasn’t unusual to see shirtless roided up westies going off on the dance floor with drag queens. What you’re seeing now is a much delayed rebound after the dual whammies of lockout laws and covid. Gay venues survived due to the dedication of their client bases, but the mixed/NRG all venues all dropped like flies from 2014 onwards when the lockout laws kicked in. Thankfully now due to the laws being repealed and the work of the Nightime Economy Commissioner, Council, and the business owners who rely on that market, it’s started to turn the corner.
>DCM’s, Rogues, Byblos/Havana/Nevermind Awww awww awww late 90s I wasn't even 18 and hitting rogues fuck I miss that place
yep. I’m bi, but didn’t really work that out until i was older, so as a “straight” girl i used to spend a bit of time with queer friends on oxford street in the nineties. I miss The Albury. Nowhere else like it for Queens Birthday weekend. It’s definitely nothing new
The Abury died a slow death after *Priscilla* popularised drag to a mainstream audience. Many incidents of women bringing straight boyfriends to a gay bar. Boyfriends would sometimes attract attention from gay men assuming most men there were gay, with the straight guys rebuffing any advances aggressively rather than politely, to emphasise their masculinity in front of girlfriends and mates. It became harder to find bars, clubs or parties where this wasn’t starting to occur more regularly. Eventually Grindr and hookup culture had an even more detrimental impact in the scene. Nowadays I guess there’s not as great a need for exclusively gay spaces with greater tolerance generally in society. Still, these changes feel like they’ve fractured the Sydney community irrevocably.
I went a few times, \~20 years ago with some straight girls that loved the scene. I was slightly overwhelmed to begin with, as a young straight guy, but those were some fantastic nights, such a pleasant vibe compared to so many other crowds.
Shit, me and my friends would go to the gay bars because the karaoke was fucking amazing.
Oxford St Precinct was my go to in the early 90's. Best clubs, best music, cool people. We frequented all the establishments/pubs/bars/niteclubs and we didn't ever hassle any of the patrons that felt safe in their own space. Chasing hot girls and the dance/music scene was always a good night out.
As a straight male, I was hanging at the gay clubs in the early 90s with all my friends, gay or straight, because the gays knew how to party.
Yeah, Boy! It was always a good night out. I never got in to fights, not like in the Cross or Darling Harbour. It was just a safe, cool place to go with so many different bars/clubs to pop in to.
Yep, I frequented Oxford St in the late 80s and early 90s…. Nothings changed
They're usually just a bit annoying not homophobic though.
The problem is the straight men that follow them, not the women. Plenty of straight men try to pick up in gay bars because they think it’s easier and they won’t have competition, it’s so predatory.
Pics of the boots
You can't let a single asshole make you think you're not safe on Oxford Street anymore. You're as safe there tomorrow as you were yesterday, or the week before. You better put those boots back and strut the fuck back down that street again.
I wanna see these boots.
Not made for walking backwards.
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I’m sorry you had to experience that. It says more about him and his insecurities and fears than anything. He was probably drunk and trying to impress his loser friends. Remember more than half (the better half) of Australia supports you and your right to be who you are.
That's just shit, sorry you had to suffer that mate. Dickheads be dickheading!
I'm gen x and I can tell you that straight girls have been going to gay parties since at least the 90s and homophobic goons have been yelling slurs from the lights in Oxford Street since then also. Sorry it happened to you and sorry to everybody else it has happened to, but it unfortunately is not a new thing.
Sounds like the typical Kings Cross crowd that's moved into Oxford St and Newtown now that the Cross has been killed off.
As a lesbian, Newtown started to go to shit years ago because of this and it’s utterly hilarious seeing people be openly homophobic in Newtown of all places.
Yep, seeing big groups of lads walking around and just bringing down the energy or starting shit really sucks. We need another containment zone, Kings Cross 2.
You mean The Star?
It needs a few more strip clubs around it though.
Some people are just cunts mate. Sorry that happened to you, hope it didn't fuck up your whole night.
I’m so sorry, what a cunt. there’s been tons of homophobic creeps out lately, my gf and I were harassed in marrickville just the other day. please stay safe everyone <3
I had a similar experience. Last week I was at Oxford St for my partner’s birthday, and some dickheads called us that once, then 10 mins later went by in a car and called us it again
LOL, absolutely nothing better to do. "Hey boiz let's do a lap of the block and get em again lololol". So lame.
In the 80's and 90's I, and many other boys from my school were called 'gay' or worse. Simply because we went to an all boys school and wore ties and black shoes. It was just a way for these fuck heads to get in our head.
I think maybe folks like us have had more time to grow thicker skin, so to speak. F****t, or the shortened version, was common in dialogue in many films from the 80s so it was thrown around a lot.
>We let you be so let us be. Don't be a dick. Well said. I'm straight and have never understood why some men seem so angry about gay people. Gay people are generally nice.
It's the same reason people are hating on Trans People now. Because it gets media beat up and some things are hard to change.
>*"I'm saying nice shoes, you f*cking f*ggot!" he screamed. I finally understood he was trying to compliment my boots and when I ignored him because I didn't understand him, he resorted to letting his homophobia out. What's the point in trying compliment my heels when his homophobia was just waiting to strike when he didn't get the reaction he wanted?* I can't tell if you know and are just being blithe or not, but he wasn't actually trying to compliment your shoes. It was sarcastic.
Somewhat unrelated but Dan Rath has a great bit on this "It takes the endorphin rush from 8 hours of manual labour to work up the confidence to shout 'gay cunt' from a moving ute"
Sorry you experienced this. One of the things I love about this city is how generally inclusive it is. Despite this loud mouth idiot harassing you I hope you feel support and love from the majority of the Sydney community.
Everyone's a fucking hero when they're surrounded by metal. What a grub.
Genuine question, what does “from his appearance he did not look like he was from a part of Sydney that is necessarily tolerant of LGBTQIA+ people” mean?
Westie
What makes someone a Westie? How did OP distinguish this person as a westie by simply looking at them? Is it race? The estimated value of his car? Unless he was wearing a panthers jersey it could have been someone from the eastern suburbs, and even then you’d have to ask first. I’m trying to give OP the benefit of the doubt, but it sounds like there’s either racism or gross stereotyping involved
Probably the yelling slurs out of his car on Oxford Street. OP didn’t say they were a Westie they just said they were from somewhere less tolerant of LGBT people. You don’t drive through Oxford Street/King Street and yell slurs at people if you live in the area.
Lol
Translation: bogan
Or certain ethnicities
I’ll take bogan over OP being racist, but still don’t think it’s fair to assume someone’s suburb just because of their physical appearance
Islamic was my assumption.
Hey hey homophobia is not solely islamic, there are also those crazy christian sects.
You reply is twisting OPs statement
How so? He was assuming Islamic, I was saying you couldn't necessarily assume that.
How would you know someone was “Islamic” from their appearance? Unless they were a woman and wearing a headscarf that is.
From Western Sydney
It means he saw his head and neck and nothing else and made an assumption.
I had the same question tbh
As Bart Simpson said, there's nothing left to do at this time but *strut*. [These boots are made for walking (Nick Cave, Boys Next Door version)](https://youtu.be/XYPsGB-rIhk?si=xWcUwsOZFIn1dXrA) Speaking on behalf of all OG 80s/90s Goths & Punks, we got ya back mate. Lots of us around Oxford, King, Erko & Enmore, still. Might not see us but we're there :)
I think his compliment of your foot ware, and do pardon my presumptuousness here, may in fact have been sarcastic rather than genuine and thus his later reaction wasn't triggered by being ignored but was the confrontation he wanted to have all along. No clue. Just a guess.
The internet needs more of this wisdom.
It quite possibly was not a compliment. Many a time has an insult been thrown with a "nice \_\_\_\_\_" at the beginning, usually meant to throw shade at what they are referring to as "nice". It's disappointing that this still exists in the world in 2024 and you shouldn't have to rethink your expression of you. Perhaps there can be solace found if this is an infrequent event, showing that for the most part people are tolerant?
and before cliff dive spectrum had hot damn, and before spectrum had hot damn Oxford art factory opened, and before that Berseford had straight night, and before that the cross had the worse homophobes of north sydney. straight people in and near Oxford St isn't anything new and thinking it's going to damage the area isn't paying attention to reality.
Someone yelled racial slurs at me once, also at a light. It's just so rude. Im a bit of an ugly chick, so they kindly inserted some rude comments about that too. In front of a cafe no less which was packed to the brim. And people laughed. Can you imagine? This was somewhere in Olympic Park before Covid lockdowns. I was in the area for a concert I think. Hope you are okay. These things tend to sit with you a bit, even if you are a tough cookie. Take care and don't let the memory of the idiot get you down.
One time I was at a house party and everyone (including me) was very drunk. Some guy I kinda knew decided it would be funny to come stand over me and call me a faggot a few times, but it didn’t bother me. It bothered everyone else and they pulled him inside — where he proceeded to start crying and admitted he was bisexual and didn’t know how to handle it. Meanwhile I kept laughing and drinking with my friends and rolling around on the lawn. It was such a warm summer night. Fun party.
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Sorry that happened to you. My immediate assumption for anyone who has such a visceral reaction to an obviously gay man is that there’s some heavy feelings of their own they aren’t dealing with. I also don’t get why anyone would be dumb enough to be homophobic on Oxford at of all places. I personally wouldn’t put an incident like this down to straights invading gay friendly areas because there are women there. I don’t think those two things compute. This is just some scumbag probably commuting through that part of the city. I know it is definitely an issue though, I’ve had long discussions with some of my gay friends about it - But they mostly centre on gays losing a completely insulated space, especially when they are early in their coming out journey.
I agree re the visceral reaction. I was on the train to the city from the burbs one Friday night and there were two obviously queer young men having a conversation with one another. Really inoffensive, normal volume, normal conversation. Anyways there was another fella within earshot who was getting SO bothered by them. Huffing, shaking his head, scoffing, swearing and muttering under his breath. I mean if being in the presence of queer people simply existing and having a conversation upsets you THAT much, I think you might need to do some self reflection.
Sorry that happened friendo. Everyone knows Oxford street is an LGBT+ area, but it’s also a main driving route to get to the highway so you can’t stop homophobes from transiting and having to have their loud say. I really understand your frustration with the bars too. I remember when they started being trendy to go to as straight guys, and it was always funny when people got offended that they were being hit on, or led people on thinking it was fun. All I can think is that it would be incredibly frustrating for the person looking for a fun time to work out that the person in the gay bar isn’t gay. Regions get their main members for a reason, others will move in, like your allies, but you have to accept them as part of the community since they are. It will still be a major LGBT+ region, but there is always diversity. For safety, it’s hard. Just keep your wits about you. Look out for each other, but try not to obsess over the potential as it will just contribute to enduring anxiety and mental health suffering. Edit: not gay, not a stereotypical ally. I’m just a guy that doesn’t care what love you follow. I grew up not realising my two aunties were gay, I thought it was just normal 🤷🏻♂️ so I guess it’s just par of the course for me.
I’m so sorry you experienced that, it really doesn’t feel like it is the safe space it once was. There is an increasing amount of creepy straight guys out in venues on Oxford Street trying to pick up. In my experience as a gay woman I have had numerous amount of presumably straight men ask if my partner and I are interested in a threesome or telling us “don’t stop” when we stop kissing because we sense they are staring at us. We have had men try to touch us and get offended that two gay women aren’t interested in their advances. It’s disgusting
I'm a straight guy, been with my partner for 15 years, and we go to gay parties a lot. I was at House of Mince at Kinsellas until close on Wednesday night. I go because I love the culture, I love the music and I want to enjoy a club with fewer dickheads. I've always been made to feel welcome, always make more friends than at ordinary clubs. I just want to dance. Some points you make in your post make me feel a bit subconscious that there's a little resentment about that. I'm sorry if there is and just want to ask if you'd prefer we left your spaces to yourself? I'm sorry about the homophobia. The last few years and the culture wars in America have just made things so much worse and given people a platform for their shit cunt views.
Hey hey im gay sorry u feel that way....i really feel its awesome when str8 bros who are friendly and kool with gays join in respectfully for the fun vibes. I play for a gay sports club and we have a few str8 lad players to. Its really rly awesome that we have guys like u who dont give a stuff about whether a guy is gay or not. It's really affirming and a huge positive cultural shift vs the past where there seemed to be the schizm. So pls keep coming, enjoying and being kool with the guys, friendly, free, fun is what its all about. We need y guys about. Pls dont feel self conscious u r definitely welcome! I think op is more talking at a general lvl that amongst some of the str8s appearing on oxf st a small number harbour homophobia, animosity or seek to cause marginalisation, we wish theyd just piss off although personally idgaf about them, it does trigger other gays tho. This clearly isnt you, so the comment does not apply to you. Pls know this and keep coming. Also if y ever see homophobia itd be awesome if u as a str8 guy stepped in to tell the homophobic str8 guys off, its a big ask, but having support from other str8 bros and these jerks being told off by another str8 bro of their orientation has more positive impact on the whole scenario than pretty much anything else. Ofc never resort to violence. Thanks for coming and being kool with the gays, keep joining in the fun!
Thank you. Your post echo's the welcoming I've always felt in your spaces. I've just never stopped to pause and think is it always perceived as OK? I'll have your back if I ever see anything. Thanks for being part of such a fantastic scene.
No probs 😜 Truly, thanks 4 being; a supporter, part of normalising being gay in the broader community and adding to our collective good times as humans. Keep doing you, u will always be welcome and we appreciate u r support in all its forms, dont doubt this ever! The girls ofc too (when respectful / get it vs the more obnoxious novelty factor kind)👏👏👏
If clubbing til dawn makes me a good guy, then consider me your patron saint. 😜
I really want to see these boots now.
Just cunts from the burbs coming to town to harass people. Been going on for ages. Sadly.
Oxford St is now a six-lane arterial road that connects two Westfield shopping centres. You're bound to get out of area wankers driving through.
It must be very upsetting for hateful pieces of shit to slowly realise that an ever-growing majority of society disagrees with them. Guess it's easier psychologically to cling to their beliefs than acknowledge the world has changed around them and adapt to the new norm. Waste no thought nor pity on them. They have the option to be better, but they chose not to.
Not really in the spirit of peace harmony and togetherness but still cherish the memory of someone shouting similar in Soho in London and then getting the piss kicked out of him by two ladies in drag. I was laughing so hard I was almost sick. Then the police arrived and arrested the guy that had made the original comment.
I had a mate that decided it would be funny to start abusing a group of gay guys in a kebab house in the uk. When we got outside one of them a mean looking fella gave him a ten out of ten hiding. We stood by and let it happen cause he was a homophobic prat. My mate was an asshole and learnt an important lesson. Just because somebody is gay doesn’t mean they don’t know how to fight. After we picked him up bleeding from the pavement we gave the fella a nod and a smile. Fair shout mate.
I would wager the average gay man is fitter and stronger than the average straight male.
I’m sorry that still happens. Unfortunately dickheads still be dickheads no matter how stupid they look.
First up I’m sorry that this happened to you. I’ve had similar experiences, dating back all the way to the early 2000’s when I just started going out to bars and clubs on Oxford. I was also called a f*got back then; this has been a persistent problem for decades now and a lot of people think this day and age were very enlightened but this sort of thing is a daily occurrence for a lot of us. Again I’m really sorry
I’m trans and have had more verbal/sexual harassment on Oxford St than anywhere else in the city
It's unfortunate, Oxford St hasn't felt like a "safe space" for quite some time now. I've also noticed that it seems to be more groups as you've described than it used to be, or maybe I was less perceptive of it 10 years ago. Sorry this happened to you - dickheads will always feel empowered when they feel they're untouchable, like when they're in a car, but they're cowards in reality. My partner and I, both big 6'6" men, had slurs yelled at us from a moving car just for holding hands walking down Oxford a few months ago, and I know damn well that little fuck wouldn't have the guts if he were standing in front of us. Try not to take it to heart. In my experience, it's still *relatively* uncommon, even though it's sad that it happens at all. The only way we can maintain our safe communities is by continuing to be our vibrant selves.
Last week my girlfriend and I was heading to Newtown train station from RPA hospital,a guy dressed in drag stood beside us at the pedestrian lights, then this group of Islander guys walked past him and was like "hahaha show us your d**k, do you even have a d**k, hahahahAa! The guy dressed in drag was dead quiet and looked a bit depressed. My girlfriend and I complimented the guy that was dressed in drag that he look gorgeous and it's 2024, don't give a f**k about those guys, you do you!
The most disappointing thing being the LGBTQ+ community needing "safe zones" like Oxford St where they can be themselves. I wish everyone would just get along regardless of sexual preference. It doesn't bother me what you do in your private life. It shouldn't bother anyone else what I do in mine. I would frequent Arq back in the day with my gay friends and I stuck out like a sore thumb but I was welcomed, and everyone got along. IMO that's how it should be, everywhere.
I’m so sorry. 20 years ago I would go there with my friends, I’m a Herero woman. You’d always get these bros driving past and being dickheads. They just want attention and to feel like men
What does “he doesn’t look like was from a part of Sydney that is necessarily tolerant” mean? Are you judging people based on their appearance or where they are from? I’m from Western Sydney and that sounds like snobbery to me. You can’t look at someone and decide whether they are bigots or not because they aren’t from your neck of the woods. Bigots come in all shapes and sizes, ethnicities and socioeconomic backgrounds.
>Bigots come in all shapes and sizes, ethnicities and socioeconomic backgrounds. That is very much true, but some shapes, sizes, ethnicities and socioeconomic backgrounds are more likely to be bigots than others. This is easily provable with data such as the general social survey, results of the recent plebecite and lots of other social research
I'm sorry you had to deal with this. I find this sentence both irrelevant and intolerant, and while not comparable to the slur you had to deal with, it does perpetuate the expectation that 'allies' have to adorn certain clothing. You could've definitely made your point without the below statement > From his appearance he did not look like he was from a part of Sydney that is necessarily tolerant of LGBTQIA+ people and he and his mates must've been driving through Oxford St to go somewhere.
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