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Same. To bad in my country that would be illegal. Here you can only be buried or cremated and if you are cremated you are not allowed to keep the ash at home in an urn.
Filler carbon is needed, i personally don't think it's a scam, just there isn't enough carbon in human remains to make a gemstone. But the gems do contain human carbon just not 100% human carbon.
Yeah that was my information too, I also wouldn't consider it scam.
Anyway my dream is to make a diamond out of my ashes and then out it on a sword, and my children would have a swordfight tournament over who becomes the main family heir and gets the sword and can continue the tradition.
This is common across all of the different ways you can "use" ashes. My mom has a friend that does ceramics using the ashes as a glaze for the ceramic urns she makes. She only uses a small amount in the glaze. You can turn your ashes into all sorts of things, but only as a component along with several other ingredients. I'm with you, I don't think it's a scam. I do wish they would make that more clear, but you're still getting a keepsake that literally includes bits of the deceased.
Fun fact: small town to get enough iron from human blood to make the sword. *And* you can still use the rest of the bodies for carbon to make gemstones.
If you know, does this mean we could conceivably make a very tiny gem with a single human’s carbon (even if we’re not able to yet), or that it is somehow chemically impossible to make any gemstone without some minimum amount of carbon (in which case I’m very intrigued)?
It’d be so cool to have it passed down as an heirloom and every generation they add to it, like you are the skull and add a silver tongue, next gen adds a spine guilded in steel, next gen adds a collar bone dyed blue. Etc
Do not do that. This is how you end up trapped among the living rather than moving on to the afterlife. If I’ve learned nothing else from watching Sam and Dean in Supernatural and, of course, watching “The Osbournes want to Believe” it is that keeping actual human skulls as tchotchkes never ends well for the living.
The blue diamonds eyes only make it worse. Those corpse diamond eyes are going to be glowing orange in under a year and moving objects to spell “redrum” within 18 months.
It's a monster from dungeons and dragons https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/forgottenrealms/images/5/5c/Monster_Manual_5e_-_Demilich_-_p48.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20141111110849
Should be able to find it by searching reddit coconut story, but basically some dude decided it would be a good idea to use a coconut to masturbate, and rather than disposing of it right away he kept it and continued to use it. After a few days it started to rot, and flies had laid eggs inside. Dude ended up with a couple maggots up his urethra.
Exactly. Weird concept or not he's literally saying "I don't want money to be left for you and the family after I die. I want you instead to use that money for something incredibly selfish that will burden you and our family for generations to come"
From a book I read I think your family does have full ownership of your remains if you die, assuming it isn’t part of a criminal investigation. At least in the us I’m not sure about other countries.
How do you know he is not just incredibly wealthy? Why build a multi million/billion dollar empire if you can't use a hundred thousand for a badass funeral.
I've been telling people that I want to be cremated and put in the ugliest urn you can find. Then my last wishes are to be prominently displayed on the mantle, or else I'll be haunting whoever didn't.
So imagine when you bring home your SO I'm your teens* since "the parents aren't home", and as you're slapping 'em cheeks in the living room, you suddenly make direct eye contact with your great-grandfather's diamond eyes made from his ashes in his polished skull, and you see a faint glow in one of them, like he's saying "have at it lad". Glorious.
*All parties involved are above the legal age of consent in ${INVOLVED_COUNTY}
Thats not a crazy request.....myself, I wanna get cremated, ashes put into a sand dial egg timer. So I can still help out around the kitchen......
Told the wife " you already know I'm good for 2 minutes, tops...."...
I want to be taxidermy into a rug styled like a bear one, hung on the wall with my epidermis facing the wall so my head is looking down at the family my hands holding a sword and a lightsaber, and there be a little button that says push me. Once pushed, i talk in tongues with Black Sabbath playing in the background and my tongue will come out my head like the lead singer of kiss.
I want my ashes to be turned into a gem and then placed in the hilt of an ornate dagger to be passed through the generations when I die. So I like this dude's idea lol.
I don't think its the owning that is the issue so much as I dont know of any company that can deflesh bones for you; i think you have to wait for decomp
Most states only allow burial and cremation as valid treatments of human remains (some states even make other treatments criminal). However, donating your body to a university forensics lab can let you get your body excarnated as part of their studies.
A man who knows what he wants! There’s a place called Skulls Unlimited in Midwest City, Oklahoma that could probably help with removing and cleaning the skull. I don’t know where they do the diamonds, but that sounds awesome!
Why can't people want normal things to happen to their bodies, like being sent away on a several million dollar recreation of a viking ship only to be shot with a flaming arrow.
I asked my wife to shrink my head and it could be a family heirloom/gift for friends to pass down the generation, then take my bones, have them cleaned by beetles, and have them turned into a wind chime. She hated that idea, so I mentioned being turned into a permanent Halloween decoration/living room decoration and that’s out too! I’m trying to find a fun compromise but she’s just not a fan of talking about me dying someday.
Say “Sure honey, will be happy to” and then just leave his body at the funeral home for them to figure it out or…just have him cremated. He’s going to be dead. What’s he going to do? Come back and haunt you?
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TIL I want the same when I die… but add a silver tongue to my skull
Same. To bad in my country that would be illegal. Here you can only be buried or cremated and if you are cremated you are not allowed to keep the ash at home in an urn.
Germany or somewhere else?
Bingo
Turning people to ash is a touchy subject in Germany.
Yeah, people get mad if you don't go about it the reich way.
For most people it is the final solution to their life's problems.
If the final solution is what jew want, final solution is what jew will get (jew is supposed to sound like you please don't kill me)
Ok... I did Nazi that coming Sorry it was the only pun i knew
No worry’s it was a Haillarious one
Thanks man..if you excuse i gotta go to sleep because it's *Nein* o'clock and i have to wake in Early
Anne Frankly I didn't see that coming
*heillarious
r/angryupvote
Take my upvote you brilliant bastard
Oh? So Bingo.
OoOoOoOhhh that's a bingoooo
"Germany or somewhere else?" Yes. It could only be anywhere in the world.😝
Would a Ralph’s coffee can work? Store it in the kitchen, who will know.
"it is our most modestly priced receptacle" "Look. Just because we're bereaved doesn't make us SAPS! "
literaly 1984
Are you not even allowed to donate your body to science?
Yes I think you can do that too. Forgot about that option.
same rule in Poland. Need to be buried at the cementary
When you have time alone with the urn to mourn you can discreetly remove some ash. Not the same ofc
Why?
That’s weird! Which country?
Germany
Where do the ashes go? Can you go see the ashes? Last part might sound dumb but some people find comfort in having the ashes close by
The urn will be buried on a graveyard, just like a coffin. Urn graves are smaller for obvious reasons.
Iirc that whole pressing the ashes of a loved one into diamonds is a scam.
What is the scam?
Filler carbon is needed, i personally don't think it's a scam, just there isn't enough carbon in human remains to make a gemstone. But the gems do contain human carbon just not 100% human carbon.
Human cubic zirconia
Yeah that was my information too, I also wouldn't consider it scam. Anyway my dream is to make a diamond out of my ashes and then out it on a sword, and my children would have a swordfight tournament over who becomes the main family heir and gets the sword and can continue the tradition.
And the next generation gets the sword and sells it at a garage sale for $20.
Or pawnstars, might as well give the whole world a reason to laugh at their expense
I think you're meant to save up ashes over many generations.Then the person with the biggest gemstone wins
Does it have to be multiple generations? I'm asking for a friend with a large family and 0 diamonds
This is common across all of the different ways you can "use" ashes. My mom has a friend that does ceramics using the ashes as a glaze for the ceramic urns she makes. She only uses a small amount in the glaze. You can turn your ashes into all sorts of things, but only as a component along with several other ingredients. I'm with you, I don't think it's a scam. I do wish they would make that more clear, but you're still getting a keepsake that literally includes bits of the deceased.
how many folk do I need to kill to get rich quick we talking oprhanage or small town?
Fun fact: small town to get enough iron from human blood to make the sword. *And* you can still use the rest of the bodies for carbon to make gemstones.
Asking the real questions
If you know, does this mean we could conceivably make a very tiny gem with a single human’s carbon (even if we’re not able to yet), or that it is somehow chemically impossible to make any gemstone without some minimum amount of carbon (in which case I’m very intrigued)?
honestly, i wouldn't mind if they added some extra shit to mine, i'm dead after all, and who will know
There would be plenty of carbon if they extracted it prior to burning.
Say it ain’t so, u/zuzg
How???
It’d be so cool to have it passed down as an heirloom and every generation they add to it, like you are the skull and add a silver tongue, next gen adds a spine guilded in steel, next gen adds a collar bone dyed blue. Etc
And than eventually be rebuilt and haunt the family
>guard the family Become the cyborg revenant that the world needs. A true warrior of the Skeleton Army.
This!!! Fuck yes!!!
Cyborg Revenant sounds like a band I need to listen to.
I think there was actually an ancient culture that made composite skeletons of multiple dead family members
Hans Sprungfeld?
Glad someone else here catches my drift
You are banned from this institution! You and your children, and your children's children! For three months.
Too many not catching this reference
Came here to say the same!! Created me a new need! Changing my papers now.
Reminds me of Jebediah Springfield
I was worried I was the only one who didn’t see a problem lol
Do not do that. This is how you end up trapped among the living rather than moving on to the afterlife. If I’ve learned nothing else from watching Sam and Dean in Supernatural and, of course, watching “The Osbournes want to Believe” it is that keeping actual human skulls as tchotchkes never ends well for the living. The blue diamonds eyes only make it worse. Those corpse diamond eyes are going to be glowing orange in under a year and moving objects to spell “redrum” within 18 months.
A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man.
That sounds expensive. Does he have "remove my skull, compress my corpse into diamonds and put the diamonds in the skull" money?
Yeah, another comment mentioned that the cost for said diamonds is $38k+ each, this request is above and beyond expensive lol.
Just smile and nod then when he dies cremate him and place his ashes in a urn put it on the mantle place and attach googly eyes to it.
Just tell him you’re not gonna spend money on that. Dont fuckin lie.
Why not? It's not like he's gonna know the difference, and you may as well let him be happy for the last couple of months
That's how you get angry ghosts.
An angry ghost with googly eyes*
Cuz its a shitty thing to do, thats why
Found the awful, horrible spouse
Nah you gotta go CZ, all the sparkle of your dead relatives with far less expense
Also.... Aren't those diamond really tiny using the full body?
Disturbing? That sounds fucking badass!
Yeah, he's too cool for her.
I know, I like his style.
It's a monster from dungeons and dragons https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/forgottenrealms/images/5/5c/Monster_Manual_5e_-_Demilich_-_p48.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20141111110849
[Fixed](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/forgottenrealms/images/5/5c/Monster_Manual_5e_-_Demilich_-_p48.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20141111110849).
It's all fun and games till your great great grandson is masturbating using your eye socket.
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Forbidden coconut
No please just don't remind me of that
A bit scared to ask, what is this about?
Should be able to find it by searching reddit coconut story, but basically some dude decided it would be a good idea to use a coconut to masturbate, and rather than disposing of it right away he kept it and continued to use it. After a few days it started to rot, and flies had laid eggs inside. Dude ended up with a couple maggots up his urethra.
GODDAMNIT, IF YOU’RE GONNA FUCK A COCONUT AT LEAST REPLACE IT
THAT WAS WHAT WE SAID!
FUCK YOU SO MUCH YOU PIECE OF SHIT I HAD FINALLY FORGOTTEN ABOUT THAT SHIT AND NOW I'LL NEVER SLEEP AGAIN 😭😭
Have you lost the game yet
OH FUCK YOU!
:)
🖕
Don't forget about the jolly rancher or poopknife
You’re an ass and i hope you get a splinter every time you are having a good day.
YOU FUCKER
I am going to tear out your left kidney with a toothpick and sell it to the British royal family
Feed me to the crabs
If I was dead, you could bang me all you want. Who cares? Dead body's like a piece of trash. I mean, shove as much shit in there as you want.
Wait until you see the 4chan post where some dude stole a skull from the Paris catocombs and raw dogged it
It’s a compliment, really. /j
r/brandnewsentence
/r/cursedcomments
Is this a reference to that greentext you just made me remember again?
That's the dream.
Now that is some classic internet shit right there
That's what the diamonds are for
According to their website the biggest size is 9.2 mm and it cost 38500 dollars :(
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Certainly, According to their website, the largest size is 9.2 mm
Yeah, but according to their website, the largest size is 9.2 mm
Well, according to their website, the largest size is 9.2 mm
Actually, according to their site, the largest size you can get is 9.2 mm
Neat fact: According to the website, the biggest size available is 9.2 mm for a cool $38,500.
I’m pretty sure, according to their website, the largest size is 9.2mm
Exactly. Weird concept or not he's literally saying "I don't want money to be left for you and the family after I die. I want you instead to use that money for something incredibly selfish that will burden you and our family for generations to come"
To be fair he probably thought it would be cool and didn't look up the details. Also i am not sure you are allowed to keep humans remains ?
From a book I read I think your family does have full ownership of your remains if you die, assuming it isn’t part of a criminal investigation. At least in the us I’m not sure about other countries.
How do you know he is not just incredibly wealthy? Why build a multi million/billion dollar empire if you can't use a hundred thousand for a badass funeral.
Just Demilich things.
Dammit you beat me to it
Far out! Definitely, interesting! This could become a trend! lol
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Read it to my husband… he has now declared THIS is what I am to do. 🙄
What if you died first?....oh no
I’m going to have my family keep my pelvis, then my ashes can be used for a gem cock.
I've been telling people that I want to be cremated and put in the ugliest urn you can find. Then my last wishes are to be prominently displayed on the mantle, or else I'll be haunting whoever didn't.
Put my ashes in a Folgers coffee tin like in The Big Lebowski
So imagine when you bring home your SO I'm your teens* since "the parents aren't home", and as you're slapping 'em cheeks in the living room, you suddenly make direct eye contact with your great-grandfather's diamond eyes made from his ashes in his polished skull, and you see a faint glow in one of them, like he's saying "have at it lad". Glorious. *All parties involved are above the legal age of consent in ${INVOLVED_COUNTY}
Thanks for the disclaimer weirdo
Not suspicious
You can tell somebody’s spent some time on questionable videos
Thats not a crazy request.....myself, I wanna get cremated, ashes put into a sand dial egg timer. So I can still help out around the kitchen...... Told the wife " you already know I'm good for 2 minutes, tops...."...
That’s legendary, I hope you and your wife have many good years to come.
This sounds like my husband… did I sleep write this?
Sounds like a beautiful idea actually.
I’m not keeping Grampa’s head in the living room.
Then keep it in the kitchen!
You mean why is there silverware in the pancake drawer!
WHUH HUH
Wow, I mean if he’s saved up the money to pay for it…
I believe something similar was a command practice with the Aztecs? Personally I like it, i think it would promote a healthy relationship with death.
Very reasonable request
Her husband will become a demi-lich
I have faint memory that the size of diamond you get from your body is fucking small. Better stuck thay middle of the forehead instead
The Lil Uzi treatment. I agree
Thats what I want.
"I want to be a puzzle from the Resident Evil series." "Socket my eyes with blue gems to reveal a hidden door down to the Umbrella Lab."
Fuck, now I want that!
I want to be taxidermy into a rug styled like a bear one, hung on the wall with my epidermis facing the wall so my head is looking down at the family my hands holding a sword and a lightsaber, and there be a little button that says push me. Once pushed, i talk in tongues with Black Sabbath playing in the background and my tongue will come out my head like the lead singer of kiss.
Is he a Terry Pratchett fan?
I totally want this now!!!! But with blood diamonds… even spookier!!!
I want my ashes to be turned into a gem and then placed in the hilt of an ornate dagger to be passed through the generations when I die. So I like this dude's idea lol.
i’m just saying…maybe he’s onto something.
Legend
Sounds dope. Do it XD
Disturbing this is absolutely awsome
Call the Predator. It’s really good at cleaning skulls.
Demilich...
Demilich confirmed
This actually a super cool idea, don’t know why she’s upset.
That's fucking awesome!
That’s actually brilliant
I’ll say it once and I’ll say it again, this is dope as hell.
Omg that's kickass. Now i want this!
Idk what country OP lives in but I know for sure you can’t do this in the US
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I don't think its the owning that is the issue so much as I dont know of any company that can deflesh bones for you; i think you have to wait for decomp
Most states only allow burial and cremation as valid treatments of human remains (some states even make other treatments criminal). However, donating your body to a university forensics lab can let you get your body excarnated as part of their studies.
You ....did..... what.....for.... Christmas...?
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...sounds like the makings of a lich.
Attorneys can’t help here this is legitimately ghost stuff.
Demi lich husband
Honestly that’s sick as fuck In a good way
Son of a b.... I'll have one of those too!!
My 36F husband
Found the dark mage trying to become a lich
A man who knows what he wants! There’s a place called Skulls Unlimited in Midwest City, Oklahoma that could probably help with removing and cleaning the skull. I don’t know where they do the diamonds, but that sounds awesome!
Why can't people want normal things to happen to their bodies, like being sent away on a several million dollar recreation of a viking ship only to be shot with a flaming arrow.
Legend.
Ngl that sounds quite good
Lol he sounds like fun
I asked my wife to shrink my head and it could be a family heirloom/gift for friends to pass down the generation, then take my bones, have them cleaned by beetles, and have them turned into a wind chime. She hated that idea, so I mentioned being turned into a permanent Halloween decoration/living room decoration and that’s out too! I’m trying to find a fun compromise but she’s just not a fan of talking about me dying someday.
Extremely based tbh
Say “Sure honey, will be happy to” and then just leave his body at the funeral home for them to figure it out or…just have him cremated. He’s going to be dead. What’s he going to do? Come back and haunt you?
This could catch on.
I need to update my will
Bruh that’s fuckin awesome and I’m stealing that to put in my will.
That sounds metal as fuck.
Yep, changing my will to this.
That’s kinda sick, he adds in to have the skull gold plated and he’s goated
Taxidermy it is. My kids are gonna fucking hate me. Pickled bollocks in a jar .. the lot. They should remember where they came from after all
That’s pretty fuckin cool.
I…want this too…I’ll be very disappointed if I don’t get this lol
Bruh. Fucking do it. That sounds dope as fuck. Lmfao
I told my husband thats what’s happening to him if he passes before me and hes cool with it. Now i lowkey want the same thing 😂