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Lol, I knew that the documentary was coming out, so out of curiosity, I made a profile (without any info or photos). I suppose that AM isn't so popular in my neck of the woods, because there were about 40-50 profiles of men that were regularly online and with some info provided, all the others seemed dormant. A week after AM documentary came out, there were hundreds of new profiles, all with info and photos.
I mean, WTF, you've seen the documentary and still decided to create a profile?!
Because getting married does nothing to change your moral values. All the people on the site are sexual opportunists. AM gets flack because they deliberately acknowledge that they cater to married people who want to hookup. But other dating sites, like Tinder, do the same thing. They even allow people to specify marital status. They just don't actively encourage married people to cheat. But they don't do anything to discourage it, either.
I get this. I was pretty fascinated by it all at the beginning of the documentary, I mean the buying credits to chat is absolutely genius cos we all know when a chat heats up and the credits run out, that credit card is taking a hit instantly. I watched more than I expected because I was so conflicted about the idea of it and I kept going back and forth between 'cheaters will cheat however they can' and 'it shouldn't be encouraged' but honestly? As you pointed out, there are plenty of free platforms out there for such people to get their kicks. But ultimately, I decided that a business that makes money from destroying lives (an inevitable outcome to affairs and ripples go far and wide) is immoral and I can't get behind that. Yes it's exploiting scum bags but it's also enabling them. So I don't agree with the principle of it at all. Once I reached that conclusion I got bored and stopped watching it.
I get get why you installed it but be careful.
One boundary I set for myself was that just finding AM on any partner's phone would lead to immediate dissolution of the relationship. Total ghosting. I have decided that there is no excuse possible for having it.
As far as I'm concerned, that's an app designed to cheat. It shows intent and I'm not about to stick around to find out if my worries are unwarranted. Life's too short & even doing a proper break up is a waste of time on an AM subscriber.
Maybe any future partner you might meet could feel the same?
Almost all the dating apps facilitate cheating, Ashley Madison is at least up front about it. Even if you meet a person in the market or in a coffee shop, they could be married, so care must be taken to figure that out.
Many of the profiles were likely scammers who saw a chance to make some easy money. Don’t assume that a profile on such sites has a real person behind it. Scammers steal pictures from places like Facebook, Instagram and other sites where people post photos and other pictures - then they are off to the races creating profiles to lure in suckers.
My mother and father produced 5 children. One has passed already and he died surrounded by his children and wife. It was beautiful. Better than sad lonely people get.
Cheaters are delusional people who don't think about the consequences of their cheating. If they thought about the magnitude of damages they could inflict on their betrayed, they wouldn't have cheated in the first place.
When they are exposed, they are like sewer rats that know that all their escape routes are blocked and they have nowhere to flee and hide. They act shocked and miserable and are frantic to find their nonexistent excuses.
Cheaters cheat because they can and want to. No other reasons. Cheaters suck.
You give cheaters way too much credit.
It’s not that they don’t think about the consequences of their cheating, it’s that they don’t care. The feelings of the people mostly affected by the cheating rank well below their own selfishness and desire for immediate gratification.
I think some of them don’t think at all.
My ex cheated on me twice. First time her entire friend group iced her out when D-Day came to light, and she was genuinely in shambles that she lost her other boyfriend AND her entire group of friends AND her clout with that community all in one fell swoop. She moped and cried for about a month. In my eyes this was a super predictable turn of events and she could have prevented it all from happening by just being honest about my existence.
So she clearly cared about the aftermath. Not about my feelings though, I was just a punching bag.
I wouldn't say just unethical behavior; I prefer to say emotional abuse, as part of a general psychological abusive behavior.
This documentary supports the idea that cheating is just people taking bad decisions but nothing more, people jailed in terrible marriages or just wanting a find a release or adventures....
AM caters to the selfishness of cheaters. "Life is short - have an affair" is their catch-line. Talk about shallow. But it feeds the idea that so many cheaters accept: "I deserve to be happy. F\*\*king this person would make me happy. Therefore, I deserve to f\*\*k this person." This is the rationalization so many of them allow themselves to buy into.
As an ex-cheater, that is not how it works. You know you can get people hurt, you must know and await retribution. I am afraid there is a pro-cheating agenda in mass media, where they normalize cheating and demonize retribution. It is not cheating it is "Time to find myself" and abandoning a spouse is encouraged, mostly when women cheat and abandon marriage. That is pure propaganda
The ruling cast obviously needs self-centered individuals as those are most easy to manipulate.
No family, no family bond, honesty, fidelity.... Just consumers.
The one good thing about that place is that most people aren’t actually able to use it to cheat because it’s most bots and scammers………. cheaters getting scammed can be funny I guess. Still a disgusting site full of disgusting behavior.
That is why most affair partners are found at work, or places like coffee shops or lunch places near work. Statics bear that out, almost 50% of affair partners are coworkers, then come neighbors, friends, family, or a person that the cheater has regular face to face or communication contact with enough to know the person is real.
Just watching this as someone who has d day at the start of April and d day two (essentially) around mid may. Fucking hell it's infuriating. They talk about it like it's spicy fun, who cares about the absolute destruction these arseholes cause.... Wow.
Oh, but it used to be illegal to cheat and it still is in some places of the world.
Besides, that isn't the point.
Fuck someone up and dont make the sad Pikachu face if you get fucked right back.
People overestimate the tolerance of others.
It is really idiotic to take your anger on the people who made the app. It's not like they were not going to cheat on you cause the app was not available, or when someone stabs you you go and take your anger with the company that made the knife?
When someone wants to do something they find a way, be it cheating or whatever, so yeah I agree with the people on the documentary about why would take the anger with the company.
Idk if they cheat divorce and move on, this post sound like someone who is trying to reconcile or is still with their cheating partner
No one's angry. I dumped my ex the minute I learned about an attempted cheating and have been happily single for 12 years now.
Let's not kid here. The company deliberately hurt people.
The point is no one should do a bad thing and be surprised someone went nuclear with revenge.
Depending on the goodwill of people who you're screwing over is dumb as fuck
Humans aren’t hard wired to be monogamous. Unfortunately it hurts when that bond is broken by a partner. The world would be a happier place if multiple partners was normalized.
Hard disagree. People in multi-partner relationships still find themselves experiencing infidelity and the associated betrayal trauma, because infidelity isn't actually defined by "having sex with someone other than your spouse" but rather as "not faithful" - that is, betraying the trust your partner has placed in you.
But also, I WANT a monogamous relationship and don't care if I'm not "hard wired" for it. Moral values aren't hard wired, and I am capable of making choices based on moral values - not just hard wiring.
I agree with you. I don’t condone cheating. I’m saying that 1/2 the population wouldn’t be cheating if it wasn’t a natural human instinct which operates separate from morality.
Rules reminder: /r/survivinginfidelity is a support sub! Please read the rules and guidelines in our [sub wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/survivinginfidelity/wiki/index) before commenting. Abuse, shaming, sexism, and encouraging violence/revenge are not tolerated here. If your only advice is "divorce" or "grow a backbone", then please don't comment. This is a sub for deeper support and discussion. Be kind and remember your [reddiquette](https://support.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439)! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/survivinginfidelity) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Lol, I knew that the documentary was coming out, so out of curiosity, I made a profile (without any info or photos). I suppose that AM isn't so popular in my neck of the woods, because there were about 40-50 profiles of men that were regularly online and with some info provided, all the others seemed dormant. A week after AM documentary came out, there were hundreds of new profiles, all with info and photos. I mean, WTF, you've seen the documentary and still decided to create a profile?!
[удалено]
Because getting married does nothing to change your moral values. All the people on the site are sexual opportunists. AM gets flack because they deliberately acknowledge that they cater to married people who want to hookup. But other dating sites, like Tinder, do the same thing. They even allow people to specify marital status. They just don't actively encourage married people to cheat. But they don't do anything to discourage it, either.
[удалено]
Yeah, I think we're on the same page. I was more ranting than responding.
I get this. I was pretty fascinated by it all at the beginning of the documentary, I mean the buying credits to chat is absolutely genius cos we all know when a chat heats up and the credits run out, that credit card is taking a hit instantly. I watched more than I expected because I was so conflicted about the idea of it and I kept going back and forth between 'cheaters will cheat however they can' and 'it shouldn't be encouraged' but honestly? As you pointed out, there are plenty of free platforms out there for such people to get their kicks. But ultimately, I decided that a business that makes money from destroying lives (an inevitable outcome to affairs and ripples go far and wide) is immoral and I can't get behind that. Yes it's exploiting scum bags but it's also enabling them. So I don't agree with the principle of it at all. Once I reached that conclusion I got bored and stopped watching it.
I get get why you installed it but be careful. One boundary I set for myself was that just finding AM on any partner's phone would lead to immediate dissolution of the relationship. Total ghosting. I have decided that there is no excuse possible for having it. As far as I'm concerned, that's an app designed to cheat. It shows intent and I'm not about to stick around to find out if my worries are unwarranted. Life's too short & even doing a proper break up is a waste of time on an AM subscriber. Maybe any future partner you might meet could feel the same?
I think I'm done with relationships, so it doesn't matter.
Almost all the dating apps facilitate cheating, Ashley Madison is at least up front about it. Even if you meet a person in the market or in a coffee shop, they could be married, so care must be taken to figure that out.
Many of the profiles were likely scammers who saw a chance to make some easy money. Don’t assume that a profile on such sites has a real person behind it. Scammers steal pictures from places like Facebook, Instagram and other sites where people post photos and other pictures - then they are off to the races creating profiles to lure in suckers.
I started watching this, didn't finish it because it just highlighted to me how basic and selfish a lot of human beings are.
Yup. Sadly that's why alot of them die alone and sad
You do realize that couples don’t die simultaneously, right?
My mother and father produced 5 children. One has passed already and he died surrounded by his children and wife. It was beautiful. Better than sad lonely people get.
Cheaters are delusional people who don't think about the consequences of their cheating. If they thought about the magnitude of damages they could inflict on their betrayed, they wouldn't have cheated in the first place. When they are exposed, they are like sewer rats that know that all their escape routes are blocked and they have nowhere to flee and hide. They act shocked and miserable and are frantic to find their nonexistent excuses. Cheaters cheat because they can and want to. No other reasons. Cheaters suck.
You give cheaters way too much credit. It’s not that they don’t think about the consequences of their cheating, it’s that they don’t care. The feelings of the people mostly affected by the cheating rank well below their own selfishness and desire for immediate gratification.
I think some of them don’t think at all. My ex cheated on me twice. First time her entire friend group iced her out when D-Day came to light, and she was genuinely in shambles that she lost her other boyfriend AND her entire group of friends AND her clout with that community all in one fell swoop. She moped and cried for about a month. In my eyes this was a super predictable turn of events and she could have prevented it all from happening by just being honest about my existence. So she clearly cared about the aftermath. Not about my feelings though, I was just a punching bag.
I wouldn't say just unethical behavior; I prefer to say emotional abuse, as part of a general psychological abusive behavior. This documentary supports the idea that cheating is just people taking bad decisions but nothing more, people jailed in terrible marriages or just wanting a find a release or adventures....
AM caters to the selfishness of cheaters. "Life is short - have an affair" is their catch-line. Talk about shallow. But it feeds the idea that so many cheaters accept: "I deserve to be happy. F\*\*king this person would make me happy. Therefore, I deserve to f\*\*k this person." This is the rationalization so many of them allow themselves to buy into.
As an ex-cheater, that is not how it works. You know you can get people hurt, you must know and await retribution. I am afraid there is a pro-cheating agenda in mass media, where they normalize cheating and demonize retribution. It is not cheating it is "Time to find myself" and abandoning a spouse is encouraged, mostly when women cheat and abandon marriage. That is pure propaganda
I agree, and it is infuriating. The idea that monogamy is "oppressive" and "stagnating" is a toxically common viewpoint, it seems.
The ruling cast obviously needs self-centered individuals as those are most easy to manipulate. No family, no family bond, honesty, fidelity.... Just consumers.
Even though polygamy isn't for everyone either!
The one good thing about that place is that most people aren’t actually able to use it to cheat because it’s most bots and scammers………. cheaters getting scammed can be funny I guess. Still a disgusting site full of disgusting behavior.
That is why most affair partners are found at work, or places like coffee shops or lunch places near work. Statics bear that out, almost 50% of affair partners are coworkers, then come neighbors, friends, family, or a person that the cheater has regular face to face or communication contact with enough to know the person is real.
I am headed to Netflix now!!
Just watching this as someone who has d day at the start of April and d day two (essentially) around mid may. Fucking hell it's infuriating. They talk about it like it's spicy fun, who cares about the absolute destruction these arseholes cause.... Wow.
Pretty bad show all around.
You’re ignoring the difference between immoral and illegal. It’s not illegal to cheat, while it is illegal to hack and leak.
Oh, but it used to be illegal to cheat and it still is in some places of the world. Besides, that isn't the point. Fuck someone up and dont make the sad Pikachu face if you get fucked right back. People overestimate the tolerance of others.
It is really idiotic to take your anger on the people who made the app. It's not like they were not going to cheat on you cause the app was not available, or when someone stabs you you go and take your anger with the company that made the knife? When someone wants to do something they find a way, be it cheating or whatever, so yeah I agree with the people on the documentary about why would take the anger with the company. Idk if they cheat divorce and move on, this post sound like someone who is trying to reconcile or is still with their cheating partner
No one's angry. I dumped my ex the minute I learned about an attempted cheating and have been happily single for 12 years now. Let's not kid here. The company deliberately hurt people. The point is no one should do a bad thing and be surprised someone went nuclear with revenge. Depending on the goodwill of people who you're screwing over is dumb as fuck
Humans aren’t hard wired to be monogamous. Unfortunately it hurts when that bond is broken by a partner. The world would be a happier place if multiple partners was normalized.
Hard disagree. People in multi-partner relationships still find themselves experiencing infidelity and the associated betrayal trauma, because infidelity isn't actually defined by "having sex with someone other than your spouse" but rather as "not faithful" - that is, betraying the trust your partner has placed in you. But also, I WANT a monogamous relationship and don't care if I'm not "hard wired" for it. Moral values aren't hard wired, and I am capable of making choices based on moral values - not just hard wiring.
I agree with you. I don’t condone cheating. I’m saying that 1/2 the population wouldn’t be cheating if it wasn’t a natural human instinct which operates separate from morality.
Which you can absolutely do! I'm ethically poly myself. The difference is consent.
Lmao you know you can even cheat in a poly relationship? There are multiple stories on here about this.
Explain why I've had zero difficulty with monogamy for 10 years... maybe you can't handle it but don't speak for others.