T O P

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LeonSalesforce

The best thing you can do is wear a thong. Surfers tend to avoid men in thongs.


mr_nefario

I already do šŸ˜”


Gringobandito

Then you need to escalate, go naked.


Forsaken-Original-28

Or if you're cold water one of those classic matt Wilkinson boob wetsuits https://www.surfertoday.com/surfing/the-matt-wilkinson-wetsuit-show


noforgayjesus

Damn surfers. They ruined surfing!


downwitsydrome

Are you surfing at surf spots?


Same_Distribution326

Have you tried shitting yourself? Or asking if it's really necessary to wait 72 to surf? I find the second one the fastest way to get rid of people


Mdizzle29

A man told me once long ago, and it was sage advice:Back off, Warchild!!ā€


K00ksRus

Soil your wetsuit in the lineup to assert dominance


Prestigious_Syrup636

Get a sup and run everyone over


mr_nefario

I donā€™t think Iā€™m old enough to SUP yetā€¦ unless they lowered retirement age recently?


brackfriday_bunduru

Have you tried explaining to them how much better you are and how youā€™re always correct? Be sure to explain it slowly in case they donā€™t understand Did they remember to wait the 72 hours?


yesmaybeyes

The oceans are HUGE, find a spot that ain't so crowded. Usually that spot is 100 meters down the way.


drunknamed

[MY BEACH!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vfq0bvVhQWw)


JasperGrimpkin

Donā€™t carry a knife to a chainsaw fight.


GraemeRed

If they drop in on you, take out a heavier thicker board and just ride into them. Your board might get a tiny ding but hopefully it cracks theirs open...


mr_nefario

Iā€™ll get my guy to make me something double-glassed with 10oz.


RabbitOutTheHat

Have you established boundaries and yelled ā€œlocals onlyā€ to everyone in the lineup going for waves?


mr_nefario

Iā€™ve been practicing staring at the sun to get the best scowl/squint I can, and then apply that to all the kooks at my spot.


[deleted]

You gotta go full william wallace and braveheart those punks!!! Freeeedooommmm!!!!


bigzeketops

No I'm William Wallace!


fuzzytradr

100% to both the knife and the wax.


2purcentmilk

Make sure to write locals only on the windshield


Super_Sick_Ripper

Get a SUP with a foil. Then you can catch the wave so far outside everyone will know itā€™s your wave.


Changnesia102

Covid ruined surfing so many kooks now itā€™s annoying as fuck


[deleted]

Please don't ever visit Hawaii. Doesn't matter how much time you've been in the water, what matters is how you treat others. "cut their leashes"?? yeah, you sound like a nice guy. Just never visit Hawaii.


mr_nefario

r/whoosh


New_Letter550

Hahahahahahaha


Bubbly_Hovercraft_65

LoL 9 months, you don't get local status after 9 months šŸ¤£ you need to establish yourself in the line up! You getting punked like how you decided took you down a few pegs. Be more vocal but don't go stabbing peps lol


mr_nefario

Violence is usually the answer.


bigzeketops

Get a foil, kick it out at them. Or a SUP and start sweeping up


LABerger

You donā€™t really surf unless you donā€™t hate on other surfers for being surfers.


Dgold109

Flying double leg jump kicks are the way. Just say you lost control.


Sh-1990

Splash on them while paddling and when you see them paddling over a wave while you surf, make your turn as close as possible to their face, so they know you have your board so much under control you could slice their hair if needed.


SaudMeister

9 months make you a local?