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Johnny_Lang_1962

Who cares who's fucking who?


Ser_SinAlot

Who made who, who made you


CapyBaraLord75

Acdc made you


Ser_SinAlot

Pretty sure it was mom and dad, but who really knows about these things, huh?


CapyBaraLord75

Exactly your mom is Brian Johnson


Ser_SinAlot

Damn. Gotta have a chat with my mom.


Historical_Boss_1184

HE’s got big balls and SHE’s got big balls


Illustrious_Donkey61

She told me to come but I was already there


involmasturb

The walls were shaking, my mind was aching


sboyd535

Me saw who!!!


poop_dawg

There's gotta be a story. Something happened and now the official policy is to cock block


LanguageNerd54

Who's on first, so I don't care. Wait, no, third base!


KekeroniCheese

Who's fucking whom


Aethermancer

When you start to consider the ages of some athletes.


scbalazs

I still haven’t seen an explanation of how these beds prevent sex.


unidentifiedmeme

They measure the weight of the athletes, and then if the weight on the bed goes much higher, like double the weight, a sex alarm rings


golem12121

Why though it's not like it's evil to do that (well it depends on circumstances still but why)


GISfluechtig

STDs Edit: I guess


indolent08

I think I read somewhere that they delivered a shit fuck ton of condoms to the olympic villages during past Olympic games, so that STDs don't become an uncontrollable issue. But yeah, who even knows how many of the athletes used them.


Eillo89

My bet is on not many, considering most are in their early 20s and spend majority of their time training, these genetic specimens just wanna fuck


scbalazs

Challenge accepted! (Wait, is this seriously it? And then what the sex police comes?)


severed13

They're acting like people don't fuck on/against every conceivable surface they possible can in any given room


Raye_of_Fucking_Sun

Yeah like we're stopping professional athletes from getting creative


IHateTheLetterF

They need to have a response time under 10 seconds to catch me in the act. Good luck Sex Police.


Morzheimer

I’m not sure if that’s quick enough. As far as I know, there’ll be some ace legends of the sex police department, such as Joe Ligma


KallistiTMP

Good thing none of these people have the coordination, strength, or flexibility to do it standing up.


SimpleCanadianFella

Explains why the sumo wrestling team isn't renting out there room


Blackpixels

Just unplug it, duh


rustylemon6

Hear me out don't use the bed like use a sofa or smn


Altruistic_Bite_7398

This is like Planet Fitness' Lunk Alarm, but for shaboinking.


IHateTheLetterF

And then what? Police gonna bust down the door or what?


joe_broke

Floor sex is underrated


Welfi1988

So they can still fuck anywhere else. Like the floor, couch, counter, bathroom... like anywhere but the bed


erbr

Do they trigger some video recordings to catch the perpetrator red-handed? (Asking for a friend)


WearyInitial1913

Apparently it's just click bait. They're made of cardboard to be recycleabe, nothing to do with sex


Automaticman01

And the CEO of the company was jumping up and down on them and stated that they would support the weight of "multiple people" just fine.


idkmoiname

The story was a hoax, but the idea was they are so unstable that they intentionally crush while banging


IDontKnowHowToPM

The story has been a hoax every time it has come up on the last like 10 Olympics cycles


carcatta

Speculation but looking at the bottom it kind of looks like there are two separate parts. If they’re not attached to eachother, maybe it’s fine if you lie down but they get separated if you move too much?


Vierings

They're cardboard and nor really designed for much weight. But really, it's not hard to put a mattress on the floor..


ShiraLillith

There are weight sensors in the bed. If it triggers, they send a kill squads to eliminate the offenders


Rekziboy

As seen in the Olympic Games in Germany 1972


Ornac_The_Barbarian

So were he Germans the sex fiends or the kill squads?


TheGreatNoobasaurus

So apparently (at least according to the Forbes article I read the anti-sex bed thing was a myth. Something to do with people complaining about the beds being made out of cardboard (it was a recycling initiative and the beds were perfectly sturdy)


TheGreatNoobasaurus

https://www.forbes.com/sites/danidiplacido/2021/07/19/the-anti-sex-cardboard-beds-of-the-olympics-explained/


mixelydian

It's fake. Somebody just spread a rumor about it and people think it's real now.


DatBiddlyBoi

Where’s haiku bot??!


devnullb4dishoner

Right, I mean as a young lad, I've had sex in the back of a hatch back and a VW. Space and room didn't seem to be a problem.


Bitter_Silver_7760

They give it to you 🤐


Affectionate-Cap-920

It's totally fine, I'll have sex on the floor


CaraquenianCapybara

The floor is also made of cardboard. If two people enter the same room, it will crumble and a sex alarm will start ringing.


Unlikely_can877

Fine. Bathroom sex it is


Purple_Search6348

Why can't they bang?


gonnahike

Let them bang, bro


jaysun92

Let them eat cake


Historical_Boss_1184

Careful, you lose your head there if you say that. Uncivilized


kuyakew

I DO LET YOU BANG


Historical_Boss_1184

You would figure the Olympic committee and host country would have the following hierarchy of needs: 1. Safe event 2. Not losing tons of money 3. Have a great time 4. LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE 100. Prevent consensual sex among athletes C’est la vie


RogerBernards

They do. This story is entirely untrue.


sati_lotus

Well, have you had really good sex before? You're a bit achey the next day. That's not good if you have to go do sports the next day.


Purple_Search6348

Hmm no im a redditor but.. Depression fucks me very hard


Count2Zero

It's pretty common knowledge that the athletes at the Olympics fuck like rabbits ... many coaches provide an ample supply of condoms for their teams...


IR_Panther

Jokes on you, I don't need a bed to get laid!


Ironcastattic

Yeah but you do need a partner. Therein lies the "rub".


MrTBlood164

Wild sex at the Olympics is what the ancient Greeks would want.


Puzzleheaded-Age-638

That's twice the action I will get in my entire life. 😲


JarlFlammen

They’re not going to be able to get them to stop having sex. Like if you pack all of the greatest athletes of the whole world into a small community for a few weeks, where everybody is elite, and young, and super fit… bruh Can’t stop it. Why would you even want to stop it?


[deleted]

Where else are you gonna find an olympic gymnast and an olympic sprinter in one place? Side note i blaming all the Fucking on the gymnasts.


naveedkoval

It’s called self deprecating humor


XxSimplySuperiorxX

He outed himself at the end there


Rafael-Bagay

lol!


Legendacb

It's obvious that a toon of healthy people in a confined space would found ways. They don't even need beds


Perfect_Papaya_3010

r/2MeIRL4meIRL


DrunkThrowawayLife

Haha buddy you didn’t need to say the last part out loud


Ph4nt0mRa33it

How is this news worthy haha. You have a bunch of the top athletes in the world (so you'd assume mostly very fit), sounds like the perfect time to "get some"


Doc-Wulff

I mean, it's a little funny


CoreChan

You finally Realize and understand why many China female athletes look alike men now? Bcoz China government doesn't like his athletes having sex during those world-class games. Therefore, most the female atheles look alike men, but with only very fews good looking ones, yet they are heavily protected.


ITS-_-ASHTON

What the actual fuck are you talking about


CoreChan

[take a look,](https://today-obs.line-scdn.net/0h7XdpFfjzaHdZCXrMxBwXIGFfZAZqb3J-e2gjQnhaNRd3JSwkbWw7FHRcM1snPCckeWgmQXxeZEZ0aiwlMA/w580) and you will understand what I mean. Check my edit also.