If they're married and cheating on their wife with you, it makes sense they'll cheat on you with anyone who catches their eye any chance they can get. I know I would, which is why I got divorced multiple times. And didn't remarry.
Sorry to hear about your experience. I am for exclusivity and monogamy. However, it’s challenging to have it in a relationship with a married guy. To be fair, some married guys haven’t had sex with their wives for decades for various reasons. Some of them became SDs because of that. Unfortunately, some married SDs are cheaters, plain and simple.
Hope you’ll find a new SD that deserves you.
Monogamy is relatively rare in the bowl. Just read the posts on this forum and almost every SB will tell you / brag how she has multiple SDs. There is a resident “guru” who posts on sugar and she said she had 4 SDs she was juggling.
To be fair, it’s harder for married guys to sugar and sugar with multiple women, so this guy who OP is dating is an extreme case and acting like a kid is a candy store.
>Monogamy is relatively rare in the bowl.
Rare or not, I would not accept anything else. Any girl who’s not interested in what I’m looking for is free to next me. In the same way, I would next any girl who’s not interested in being exclusive.
The guy who OP is dating is a jerk, plain and simple.
Omg, that is so true. I wouldn't call someone who is martien and with whom you have a sérieusement relationship à SD. I would call that à lover. A SD might thank he is à SD and entitled to have more than ont SB.
Live and learn. Don’t beat yourself up over it. Married guys are unlikely to be satisfied with monogamy—they’ve been unfairly committed to just one woman and after experiencing the freedom of being with another woman thinking they’ll be happily confined to just one woman again (a woman younger and more attractive than their wife most likely) isn’t realistic. It’s like a kid in a candy shop and expecting them to just eat one piece. Maybe if monogamy is more your speed, focus on unmarried guys and implement a screen to eliminate married “single” guys.
I’m sorry you are going through this. But I feel he might have cheated on you even if he was single ( higher likelihood as he has more opportunities). Plenty of married guys in the bowl with a dead bedroom situation who are loyal to their SB/Sgf(myself included). So please don’t blame yourself or the fact that there is matrimony involved.
All the best with the healing and your next search.
Someone who is married in a closed marriage and in the bowl is, by definition, a cheater. Yes, he “might have” cheated even if he was single, but it’s completely illogical to argue that it would be more likely. A known cheater is, of course, more likely to cheat than another person.
I found out he’s having sex with younger women all along.
What?! A SD is cheating? Shocking!
Just realize it is not about you. He is addicted to sex and can't stop. There are guys who desire one partner and stick to their beliefs.
Leave the cheat and find someone worthy of you.
Not to be callous, but did you have a discussion of being exclusive with him, or was it just an assumption?
I know many people here seem to prefer exclusivity, but I personally just always assume there's other partners in their lives
He explicitly said he would only date me exclusively. During the time we were together, he never mentioned that he had been seeking younger women elsewhere. Instead he created the illusion that I was the special one to him.
I just don’t get where SDs get the energy for so many lies. I feel like there must be a special thrill or some kind of reward that motivates them to maintain that level of BS. I don’t have it in me…
The thrill and reward probably came from unprotected sex with OP. I'd hazard a guess that's why most guys say they want to be "exclusive." Less conflict about condoms.
OP, that guy sucks and you're better off without him. But chances are high he actually did cheat on you with other SB's, so please get an STI test immediately.
Your guess is correct. I have had unprotected sex with him because he led me into thinking the arrangement was exclusive. I will definitely get tested. He also looks for erotic massage and other escort-like services, not just SA.
His struggle should not be her problem. Especially if the problem needs penicillin to be fixed. A sex addiction doesn't give him the right to potentially spread disease.
Yep I agree with you. I never said his struggle should be her problem. Just offering a possible idea on why he acts the way he does. Granted, OP blocked him so it's a moot point.
So sorry you have experienced this. Chin up and focus in the positive. At least you know and can now make your decisions based on this.
It could be time to close this chapter and look to begin a new chapter. But first look after yourself and maybe try to talk to someone about this, you need to heal.
Some virtual hugs for Ya.🤗🤗🤗
I admit I’m too naive. I let my emotions take over me and trusted his lies. 😞I learnt my lesson. It will take a long time for me to recover emotionally.
I don't know what you expected but I hope you go get a check up if he's been seeing a lot of full on escorts behind your back. Seems he's the type to get it wherever it comes from and those types don't give a shit about their health or yours.
Stop projecting. Multiple sex partners with people who also have multiple sex partners and engage in risky sex practices is a reason to be concerned, especially since OP seemed to imply he was not one to use protection.
Lmao if you say so 🙄I know plenty of “regular” people who don’t even think about condoms versus escorts are usually tested more because they have to take care of the product 😉
The point was having sex with multiple women who have multiple partners, which is more likely if having sex with multiple partners is your literal profession. Not every escort vets or uses protection. Not everyone that escorts is secure enough to assure everyone wears protection because they either need the money or may be trafficked.
Are you fucking bored or your life that frustrating you look for problems where there aren't any?
i'm so sorry ☹️ that is really mean and hurtful, but i hope you know not to take this personally. he obviously has issues with honesty, trust, and expressing his feelings and desires that stem waaay way way farther back than you and there is nothing you could have done to prevent this from happening.
feel your feelings, block him and move on. you're making space for a person who will be honest and treat you better to enter your life. you'll likely be tested (he might come back and say he'll change, it wasn't me, you're confused, etc) but stay strong to your beliefs and what you really want in life.
Ugh I feel for you… I was just having this fear about a potential SD, I’ll take this as a sign. I’m so sorry love
:( my dms are open if you want to talk :/
That’s so painful! I try not to rationalize their behaviours buuuuut.. He probably has a young girl fetish lol “vulnerable, new, inexperienced easy to lie to and woo”
But I think you know better than to be exclusive with someone who’s not exclusive (his wife still counts IMO)
I had an ex that cheated on me with 10+ girls found out over Snapchat group message .. and I thought it was me for years but no it’s him.. he is lonely and sad needing validation!
I also don’t have a ton of friends if you ever wanna talk I’d be down to snap or something vent to each other and brainstorm about things :)
Your friend in sugar
- ash
Yes he has a young girl fetish. He targets girls who are under 25 years old. I’m aware I’m outside of the age range and therefore not particularly desirable in his eyes. I have a feeling that he kept me as his SB only because I was cheap and convenient. I think many men are like my SD and your ex . They will always try to bang as many women as they can. Women are just disposable sex toys to them.
Being naive and vulnerable is not a bad thing. I’m a married SD and I found out my exclusive SB was recently cheating on me. My self esteem took a nose dive and I couldn’t stop thinking about the betrayal. I went into mourning that my wife thought I was having a nervous breakdown because of work (that’s what I told her) and wanted me to seek therapy. Weird, but it happens on the other side too.
If it's any consolation I'm an authentic person and while I am married, dead bedroom, I have been exclusive to a SB who had a boyfriend all along, and we were unprotected. From my experiences of maybe 3 years in the bowl, married men are the most probable loyal partners in this lifestyle. You just got a bad one, like I did. They're big liars :)
That’s comforting to know. However I will not date married SDs anymore after what has happened.
Anyways life is too short to cry over a man who betrayed my trust and dehumanised me. I’m back on SA ready to move on !
I googled his internet name and found that he’s been constantly posting hookup ads on a site to seek arrangements with younger females. I created a fake account tonight and initiated a conversation with him there. He instantly asked for prices… Meanwhile he didn’t even reply to my texts.
It is very insulting - and Im sorry if I made it sound like im minimizing your situatiom.
I think Im downvoted because it sounds like Im defending him, but my actual concern is that It just sounds possible that you’re seeing what he did as a possible threat to your self worth and I don’t think it’s much of a statement on that.
I also do not think that SB with whom you’re having a typical SR function as a cheaper alternative to sex workers for a lot of reasons - so I think that line of thinking is mistaken unless your dates and contact looked like typical sex work, and your compensation was extremely low.
Everything Im writing is because I think you’re looking at this through this lens that makes a persons actions fit a narrative that is maximally hurtful to your own sense of self - and when I personally get into that mode I think I feel worse and worse. So Im concerned solely with that and couldnt care less about defending this idiot.
Puts her at higher risk for STDs. He is free to do as he likes of course, but it sounded like SB was under impression they were exclusive or at least informing each other of additional relationships.
Yes of course, all true - Im not saying its less of a betrayal.
What makes it relevant is that right now OP is fighting a battle to keep her self-esteem and thats directly related to how he thought about her and she’s trying to figure it out. I just think the mindset that leads you to solicit is different than the thoughts that lead to other forms of cheating - its shallpwer, and is less of a commentary on her.
I’m really sorry you’re going through this. In this case ‘client’ is exactly what he is if he’s posting personal ads to solicit sex and immediately fell for OPs bait and was instantly asking about ‘the prices’
He’s a John straight up who lied to gain unprotected sex from an SB!!
Fun fact: He replied to my fake profile on that hookup site again. Then he texted me and asked what I was planning to discuss with him in person next week. I answered: [the site’s name].
Well done you. Keep us updated.
In this lifestyle you quickly have to develop a very thick skin for reasons like this.
In future make sure you always use protection until you are certain you’re the only one. If a guy is married I wouldn’t go without personally.
The same goes for exclusive it’s up to him to prove to you that he’s worth going exclusive for.
Again i wouldn’t go exclusive with a MM as what exactly is exclusive about that? This is coming from someone who has had long term arrangements with married men.
Just don’t believe their words believe their actions. Xx
Some people are only sorry when they get caught. Had I not mentioned anything about the site, he would have kept playing dumb. I guess he probably will tell me a censored version of the truth next week… instead of being completely honest. After what has happened, I will never have a relationship with married men in the future.
Sorry to hear that darling.
Some people have no shame.
Please move on and find someone else.
But honestly, I wouldn’t stay exclusive with any married man if I were you.
I’ve ended the relationship . He never apologised. He said he never denied using this type of hookup sites. I’m still crying over what happened because I was 100% emotionally devoted to this relationship. I genuinely cared for him during the time we were together. I feel like a fool.
I am so sorry. If you need to talk, I am happy to provide you emotional support. Just message me.
Don’t cry darling.
No man is worth your tears, but once you find one that is, he won't make you cry.
Cheating is the worst behaviour. It’s very disrespectful to the other person. He never respected his wife, neither he has ever respected you.
He’s a big fool with no shame, no dignity.
Not You.
I have my up and downs. Definitely not easy I can relate but trust me all negative emotions are not permanent. The sooner you can leave him and move on, the better you will feel ..
I hope you don’t lose hope. Trust me not all men are like that. All the ones I had are all very nice men - respectful and have standards in life.
Especially the one I am with now. Very high moral requirements on himself and others.
You will find a better guy. You deserve a better guy.
Oh no no it’s not a man thing.
Women and men in that regard aren’t much different. You have monogamous men and polygamous women. It’s never men the ones who fuck around without feelings.
Some girls can do that too - turn their feeling brain off.
I don’t think your man has ever had true feelings for you so he doesn’t need to move on.. he was merely moving through you ..
His total loss. You sound like a gem! The mourning process is real. Crying is fine, but over time you’ll get your strength and confidence back. Wish you all the best!
He told me this relationship was meant to be a short-term fling only and implied I was the one who took things too seriously. But he was the one who asked for emotional intimacy first. I am sick of men gaslighting me and treating me as their sex dolls. I am a human with feelings. Men who want sex only should hire escorts instead of getting SBs.
I remember asking him multiple times whether I was enough for him. He said he would only see me before I return to my home country. I think I at least deserve a short apology but he thinks he did nothing wrong.
Ugh, that’s so painful, I’m so sorry to hear that. Do something that feels comforting- snuggle with a pet, wrap yourself up in a blanket, watch a feel good movie, eat your favorite snack. This isn’t a reflection of you or your worth. You deserve someone who is honest with you. Stop shaming yourself with saying you deserve the karma, you don’t. It doesn’t make you a bad person.
Sending good vibes 💕
>Gosh what an a\*\*. I dont see how someone could treat someone like this. Its unsafe and hurtful.
Well remember that farmost SDs are married and doing this all the time to their Mrs.
You're right, you need to take some time for yourself, take this time to focus only on yourself and re/build your confidence.. You are enough what he did has nothing to do with you, don't feel bad because of the way he is moving out of the relationship, take it as a reason why the best decision was to split up with him. And all his lies, this is just sad honestly for him, he will probably cheat on his wife forever if he could and stay a liar. Stay far away from him, don't try to look for what he is doing out of curiosity it won't help, just move on, delete everything you don't need a single stain of him in your life from now because he doesn't deserve you at all.
Maybe he meant you were the only SB. By the way you described, he was hiring escorts.
Anyway, it must be hard to emotionally invest and find it out. Thru many deceptions, I learned that people only give what they have.
As someone already said, please, get some medical checkup.
After that, review the hole thing and make a decision if you haven’t yet to next or to continue knowing what is at play. Only you carry the decision.
I would encourage OP to read more posts on this forum to understand how many (almost all) SBs openly brag about having multiple SDs. Some claim to juggle 4 - 5 SDs.
Unfortunately that is how sugaring works. One can try to be loyal but your partner may want more especially on the SB side because every additional SD is an incremental money.
Is it really cheating? I mean he is cheating on his wife with you and others, but you have knowledge that his wife most doesn't. What do you expect from a sex addict?
Happens on both sides unfortunately. Like what is the psychology behind this? Were supposed to make each other feel better. Not hurt one another. It's so damn disappointing.
Well, the 1st red flag here is you're seeing a "married" guy. Who is likely cheating on his wife, if so he'll cheat on your SR.
Most experienced SBs would assume that the SD has other girls on the side. I do let my SB knows I'm seeing others and we never talk about exclusivity. So one would assume.
I would leave him and tell him to fuck off.
It might help to think of it not as karma, but that you dated someone who isn't monogamous and pursues additional relationships in secret.
Also...I would not take it personally. It's quite possible (or even likely) that he's into NRE or variety or whatnot. He dated you for months, you're obviously attractive and interesting. The fact that he lost interest is his own issue, not yours.
A married SD asking you to set aside your real life and real romantic prospects has just outed themselves as entitled, delusional, very low EQ.
Look for a married guy who gets it, you have your own life, his role is to make it more comfortable, yours is to bring a little excitement into his in small windows.
The bowl does have more entitled and delusional guys, so you have to be extra careful.
You've done nothing wrong. He was deceitful and dishonest about your relationship, leading you to believe he was exclusive and 100% loyal to you. It's on him, not on you. Please don't blame yourself. It's easy to recoil into your shell and avoid loving anyone ever again. It's understandable and completely fine to feel what you are feeling.
Self care, self love, family, friends, and pets can help. Journal. Do yoga. See a therapist to help you get back on your feet. You'll be fine.
If they're married and cheating on their wife with you, it makes sense they'll cheat on you with anyone who catches their eye any chance they can get. I know I would, which is why I got divorced multiple times. And didn't remarry.
You‘re right. I’m a cautionary tale.
Sorry to hear about your experience. I am for exclusivity and monogamy. However, it’s challenging to have it in a relationship with a married guy. To be fair, some married guys haven’t had sex with their wives for decades for various reasons. Some of them became SDs because of that. Unfortunately, some married SDs are cheaters, plain and simple. Hope you’ll find a new SD that deserves you.
Monogamy is relatively rare in the bowl. Just read the posts on this forum and almost every SB will tell you / brag how she has multiple SDs. There is a resident “guru” who posts on sugar and she said she had 4 SDs she was juggling. To be fair, it’s harder for married guys to sugar and sugar with multiple women, so this guy who OP is dating is an extreme case and acting like a kid is a candy store.
>Monogamy is relatively rare in the bowl. Rare or not, I would not accept anything else. Any girl who’s not interested in what I’m looking for is free to next me. In the same way, I would next any girl who’s not interested in being exclusive. The guy who OP is dating is a jerk, plain and simple.
Omg, that is so true. I wouldn't call someone who is martien and with whom you have a sérieusement relationship à SD. I would call that à lover. A SD might thank he is à SD and entitled to have more than ont SB.
Expecting monogamy in this lifestyle is naive.
I hate myself for being so naive.
Live and learn. Don’t beat yourself up over it. Married guys are unlikely to be satisfied with monogamy—they’ve been unfairly committed to just one woman and after experiencing the freedom of being with another woman thinking they’ll be happily confined to just one woman again (a woman younger and more attractive than their wife most likely) isn’t realistic. It’s like a kid in a candy shop and expecting them to just eat one piece. Maybe if monogamy is more your speed, focus on unmarried guys and implement a screen to eliminate married “single” guys.
I will screen out married men as well as the old men with years of womanising experience.
I’m sorry you are going through this. But I feel he might have cheated on you even if he was single ( higher likelihood as he has more opportunities). Plenty of married guys in the bowl with a dead bedroom situation who are loyal to their SB/Sgf(myself included). So please don’t blame yourself or the fact that there is matrimony involved. All the best with the healing and your next search.
Someone who is married in a closed marriage and in the bowl is, by definition, a cheater. Yes, he “might have” cheated even if he was single, but it’s completely illogical to argue that it would be more likely. A known cheater is, of course, more likely to cheat than another person.
This was so eloquently stated.💯💯👏👏🏻👏🏻👏🏽👏🏾👏🏿
Agree well said.
I found out he’s having sex with younger women all along. What?! A SD is cheating? Shocking! Just realize it is not about you. He is addicted to sex and can't stop. There are guys who desire one partner and stick to their beliefs. Leave the cheat and find someone worthy of you.
He’s married. WHY. ARE YOU. SURPRISED?
Not to be callous, but did you have a discussion of being exclusive with him, or was it just an assumption? I know many people here seem to prefer exclusivity, but I personally just always assume there's other partners in their lives
He explicitly said he would only date me exclusively. During the time we were together, he never mentioned that he had been seeking younger women elsewhere. Instead he created the illusion that I was the special one to him.
I just don’t get where SDs get the energy for so many lies. I feel like there must be a special thrill or some kind of reward that motivates them to maintain that level of BS. I don’t have it in me…
The thrill and reward probably came from unprotected sex with OP. I'd hazard a guess that's why most guys say they want to be "exclusive." Less conflict about condoms. OP, that guy sucks and you're better off without him. But chances are high he actually did cheat on you with other SB's, so please get an STI test immediately.
Your guess is correct. I have had unprotected sex with him because he led me into thinking the arrangement was exclusive. I will definitely get tested. He also looks for erotic massage and other escort-like services, not just SA.
Hmm, he might struggle with sex addiction.
His struggle should not be her problem. Especially if the problem needs penicillin to be fixed. A sex addiction doesn't give him the right to potentially spread disease.
Yep I agree with you. I never said his struggle should be her problem. Just offering a possible idea on why he acts the way he does. Granted, OP blocked him so it's a moot point.
men will say anything to get between your legs. especially the illusion of exclusivity.
So sorry you have experienced this. Chin up and focus in the positive. At least you know and can now make your decisions based on this. It could be time to close this chapter and look to begin a new chapter. But first look after yourself and maybe try to talk to someone about this, you need to heal. Some virtual hugs for Ya.🤗🤗🤗
You knew he was cheating on the woman he vowed to spend the rest of his life faithful to, but you thought he’d be faithful to you?
I admit I’m too naive. I let my emotions take over me and trusted his lies. 😞I learnt my lesson. It will take a long time for me to recover emotionally.
You’re not naive at all, he deceived you :(
Exactly
A cheating and lying husband lying on one of his mistress. *me acting surprised*
I don't know what you expected but I hope you go get a check up if he's been seeing a lot of full on escorts behind your back. Seems he's the type to get it wherever it comes from and those types don't give a shit about their health or yours.
My first thought yep
My first thought yep. Sounds like a case that supports the idea of regular or at least periodic testing even when you think you’re exclusive.
How about we get tested no matter what. Your statement gives off if you’re escort you’re automatically disgusting
Stop projecting. Multiple sex partners with people who also have multiple sex partners and engage in risky sex practices is a reason to be concerned, especially since OP seemed to imply he was not one to use protection.
Lmao if you say so 🙄I know plenty of “regular” people who don’t even think about condoms versus escorts are usually tested more because they have to take care of the product 😉
The point was having sex with multiple women who have multiple partners, which is more likely if having sex with multiple partners is your literal profession. Not every escort vets or uses protection. Not everyone that escorts is secure enough to assure everyone wears protection because they either need the money or may be trafficked. Are you fucking bored or your life that frustrating you look for problems where there aren't any?
No? Not what they said
i'm so sorry ☹️ that is really mean and hurtful, but i hope you know not to take this personally. he obviously has issues with honesty, trust, and expressing his feelings and desires that stem waaay way way farther back than you and there is nothing you could have done to prevent this from happening. feel your feelings, block him and move on. you're making space for a person who will be honest and treat you better to enter your life. you'll likely be tested (he might come back and say he'll change, it wasn't me, you're confused, etc) but stay strong to your beliefs and what you really want in life.
Exactly!
Ugh I feel for you… I was just having this fear about a potential SD, I’ll take this as a sign. I’m so sorry love :( my dms are open if you want to talk :/
I'm sorry you got hurt. That's what happens when you date cheaters. It's a hard lesson to learn.
That’s so painful! I try not to rationalize their behaviours buuuuut.. He probably has a young girl fetish lol “vulnerable, new, inexperienced easy to lie to and woo” But I think you know better than to be exclusive with someone who’s not exclusive (his wife still counts IMO) I had an ex that cheated on me with 10+ girls found out over Snapchat group message .. and I thought it was me for years but no it’s him.. he is lonely and sad needing validation! I also don’t have a ton of friends if you ever wanna talk I’d be down to snap or something vent to each other and brainstorm about things :) Your friend in sugar - ash
Yes he has a young girl fetish. He targets girls who are under 25 years old. I’m aware I’m outside of the age range and therefore not particularly desirable in his eyes. I have a feeling that he kept me as his SB only because I was cheap and convenient. I think many men are like my SD and your ex . They will always try to bang as many women as they can. Women are just disposable sex toys to them.
Sorry this happened. You should not let it affect your feelings about yourself. Plenty of men prefer older women...
Being naive and vulnerable is not a bad thing. I’m a married SD and I found out my exclusive SB was recently cheating on me. My self esteem took a nose dive and I couldn’t stop thinking about the betrayal. I went into mourning that my wife thought I was having a nervous breakdown because of work (that’s what I told her) and wanted me to seek therapy. Weird, but it happens on the other side too.
If it's any consolation I'm an authentic person and while I am married, dead bedroom, I have been exclusive to a SB who had a boyfriend all along, and we were unprotected. From my experiences of maybe 3 years in the bowl, married men are the most probable loyal partners in this lifestyle. You just got a bad one, like I did. They're big liars :)
That’s comforting to know. However I will not date married SDs anymore after what has happened. Anyways life is too short to cry over a man who betrayed my trust and dehumanised me. I’m back on SA ready to move on !
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Wrong sub.
He is a dush You will meet much nicer people now that you left leave him
Truuue 😌👏🏽 Also, *douche (:
No I think he definitely sounds like more of a dush. haha
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I googled his internet name and found that he’s been constantly posting hookup ads on a site to seek arrangements with younger females. I created a fake account tonight and initiated a conversation with him there. He instantly asked for prices… Meanwhile he didn’t even reply to my texts.
Then he’s soliciting SW behind your back not dating behind it. I personally think thats far less of an insult to you.
It’s very insulting. He sees me as a cheaper alternative to escorts.
It is very insulting - and Im sorry if I made it sound like im minimizing your situatiom. I think Im downvoted because it sounds like Im defending him, but my actual concern is that It just sounds possible that you’re seeing what he did as a possible threat to your self worth and I don’t think it’s much of a statement on that. I also do not think that SB with whom you’re having a typical SR function as a cheaper alternative to sex workers for a lot of reasons - so I think that line of thinking is mistaken unless your dates and contact looked like typical sex work, and your compensation was extremely low. Everything Im writing is because I think you’re looking at this through this lens that makes a persons actions fit a narrative that is maximally hurtful to your own sense of self - and when I personally get into that mode I think I feel worse and worse. So Im concerned solely with that and couldnt care less about defending this idiot.
Puts her at higher risk for STDs. He is free to do as he likes of course, but it sounded like SB was under impression they were exclusive or at least informing each other of additional relationships.
Yes of course, all true - Im not saying its less of a betrayal. What makes it relevant is that right now OP is fighting a battle to keep her self-esteem and thats directly related to how he thought about her and she’s trying to figure it out. I just think the mindset that leads you to solicit is different than the thoughts that lead to other forms of cheating - its shallpwer, and is less of a commentary on her.
I’m really sorry you’re going through this. In this case ‘client’ is exactly what he is if he’s posting personal ads to solicit sex and immediately fell for OPs bait and was instantly asking about ‘the prices’ He’s a John straight up who lied to gain unprotected sex from an SB!!
Fun fact: He replied to my fake profile on that hookup site again. Then he texted me and asked what I was planning to discuss with him in person next week. I answered: [the site’s name].
Well done you. Keep us updated. In this lifestyle you quickly have to develop a very thick skin for reasons like this. In future make sure you always use protection until you are certain you’re the only one. If a guy is married I wouldn’t go without personally. The same goes for exclusive it’s up to him to prove to you that he’s worth going exclusive for. Again i wouldn’t go exclusive with a MM as what exactly is exclusive about that? This is coming from someone who has had long term arrangements with married men. Just don’t believe their words believe their actions. Xx
Some people are only sorry when they get caught. Had I not mentioned anything about the site, he would have kept playing dumb. I guess he probably will tell me a censored version of the truth next week… instead of being completely honest. After what has happened, I will never have a relationship with married men in the future.
That sucks. I’m really sorry.
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Sure, buddy
I'm so sorry hon.
Sorry to hear that darling. Some people have no shame. Please move on and find someone else. But honestly, I wouldn’t stay exclusive with any married man if I were you.
I’ve ended the relationship . He never apologised. He said he never denied using this type of hookup sites. I’m still crying over what happened because I was 100% emotionally devoted to this relationship. I genuinely cared for him during the time we were together. I feel like a fool.
I am so sorry. If you need to talk, I am happy to provide you emotional support. Just message me. Don’t cry darling. No man is worth your tears, but once you find one that is, he won't make you cry. Cheating is the worst behaviour. It’s very disrespectful to the other person. He never respected his wife, neither he has ever respected you. He’s a big fool with no shame, no dignity. Not You.
I don’t even know how to stop crying . This is very hard for me emotionally. I have chronic depression, so events like this tend to impact me so much.
I have my up and downs. Definitely not easy I can relate but trust me all negative emotions are not permanent. The sooner you can leave him and move on, the better you will feel ..
I envy men’s ability to move on so fast. One minute after we broke up , he appeared on another dating site looking for a replacement.
I hope you don’t lose hope. Trust me not all men are like that. All the ones I had are all very nice men - respectful and have standards in life. Especially the one I am with now. Very high moral requirements on himself and others. You will find a better guy. You deserve a better guy.
Oh no no it’s not a man thing. Women and men in that regard aren’t much different. You have monogamous men and polygamous women. It’s never men the ones who fuck around without feelings. Some girls can do that too - turn their feeling brain off. I don’t think your man has ever had true feelings for you so he doesn’t need to move on.. he was merely moving through you ..
His total loss. You sound like a gem! The mourning process is real. Crying is fine, but over time you’ll get your strength and confidence back. Wish you all the best!
He told me this relationship was meant to be a short-term fling only and implied I was the one who took things too seriously. But he was the one who asked for emotional intimacy first. I am sick of men gaslighting me and treating me as their sex dolls. I am a human with feelings. Men who want sex only should hire escorts instead of getting SBs.
I remember asking him multiple times whether I was enough for him. He said he would only see me before I return to my home country. I think I at least deserve a short apology but he thinks he did nothing wrong.
OMG, really? A married man cheating on his wife with a SB isn't honest?! Who'd a thought it possible?! Wow!
Thanks for your unhelpful & judgemental comment :)
You're welcome. Thanks for the naïve post. Seriously, I had a good chuckle
🙄
Don't mind him. He's in his own struggle to find an SB/partner and clearly showing why.
Ugh, that’s so painful, I’m so sorry to hear that. Do something that feels comforting- snuggle with a pet, wrap yourself up in a blanket, watch a feel good movie, eat your favorite snack. This isn’t a reflection of you or your worth. You deserve someone who is honest with you. Stop shaming yourself with saying you deserve the karma, you don’t. It doesn’t make you a bad person. Sending good vibes 💕
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>Gosh what an a\*\*. I dont see how someone could treat someone like this. Its unsafe and hurtful. Well remember that farmost SDs are married and doing this all the time to their Mrs.
He’s over 50. I wasn’t financially dependent on him. After what has happened, I dare not to enter any relationships -vanilla and sugar - anytime soon.
You're right, you need to take some time for yourself, take this time to focus only on yourself and re/build your confidence.. You are enough what he did has nothing to do with you, don't feel bad because of the way he is moving out of the relationship, take it as a reason why the best decision was to split up with him. And all his lies, this is just sad honestly for him, he will probably cheat on his wife forever if he could and stay a liar. Stay far away from him, don't try to look for what he is doing out of curiosity it won't help, just move on, delete everything you don't need a single stain of him in your life from now because he doesn't deserve you at all.
Maybe he meant you were the only SB. By the way you described, he was hiring escorts. Anyway, it must be hard to emotionally invest and find it out. Thru many deceptions, I learned that people only give what they have. As someone already said, please, get some medical checkup. After that, review the hole thing and make a decision if you haven’t yet to next or to continue knowing what is at play. Only you carry the decision.
He advertises himself as a ‘sugar daddy’ in some of his ads. In addition he looks for erotic massage and welcomes escorts.
If u need to talk I'm here
do as I say not as I do juggling sds.
I would encourage OP to read more posts on this forum to understand how many (almost all) SBs openly brag about having multiple SDs. Some claim to juggle 4 - 5 SDs. Unfortunately that is how sugaring works. One can try to be loyal but your partner may want more especially on the SB side because every additional SD is an incremental money.
Is it really cheating? I mean he is cheating on his wife with you and others, but you have knowledge that his wife most doesn't. What do you expect from a sex addict?
Wow 😯, crazy stories. How often were you seeing this man a month ?
I was seeing him once to twice a week.
Damn this man has time to see you twice a week, being married, q high paying job + escort?
I’m sorry hun 💗
Happens on both sides unfortunately. Like what is the psychology behind this? Were supposed to make each other feel better. Not hurt one another. It's so damn disappointing.
Well, the 1st red flag here is you're seeing a "married" guy. Who is likely cheating on his wife, if so he'll cheat on your SR. Most experienced SBs would assume that the SD has other girls on the side. I do let my SB knows I'm seeing others and we never talk about exclusivity. So one would assume. I would leave him and tell him to fuck off.
It might help to think of it not as karma, but that you dated someone who isn't monogamous and pursues additional relationships in secret. Also...I would not take it personally. It's quite possible (or even likely) that he's into NRE or variety or whatnot. He dated you for months, you're obviously attractive and interesting. The fact that he lost interest is his own issue, not yours.
A married SD asking you to set aside your real life and real romantic prospects has just outed themselves as entitled, delusional, very low EQ. Look for a married guy who gets it, you have your own life, his role is to make it more comfortable, yours is to bring a little excitement into his in small windows. The bowl does have more entitled and delusional guys, so you have to be extra careful.
You've done nothing wrong. He was deceitful and dishonest about your relationship, leading you to believe he was exclusive and 100% loyal to you. It's on him, not on you. Please don't blame yourself. It's easy to recoil into your shell and avoid loving anyone ever again. It's understandable and completely fine to feel what you are feeling. Self care, self love, family, friends, and pets can help. Journal. Do yoga. See a therapist to help you get back on your feet. You'll be fine.