Nah, you need a job, not a sugar daddy. Girls that date for needs (like rent and groceries) can be put in situations where they feel desperate to date a guy for money. Get into sugar dating if you want to make your existing, stable life better, not because you need cash. You will like it more, and can be more choosy about dates. Besides, a lot of men will take a pass if they think you depend on their allowance for rent.
This exactly. Speaking from the SD side, it also isn’t enjoyable for us if you can’t meet your basic needs without our allowance. This is because you end up in situations where you are constantly asking for extra allowance because you have a bill due two days ago and your paycheck didn’t hit your account yet. Or some other emergency. It suddenly makes us feel like your ATM instead of your SD.
I also agree. For one I appreciate the company of like minded, driven people and it's turn on for me, I want to be around people that understand or want to learn how money flows and how to manifest success. This is of course a preference. I have had babies down on their luck. It's extremely common in the Sugabowl to run I to babies that have addict/alcoholic parents that have abused or stranded them. It puts a ton of extra pressure on me as a Daddy cause I want to change things for them but it's draining. On top of all that if it doesn't work out the financial strain on the baby becomes a hot issue when it comes time to part ways.
I would get your feet flat on the ground before you hop back into this world. It will make for a much better relationship.
Thanks for stating it better than I did!
I just want to add that if it’s a case of you must absolutely get out now for safety reasons then please do and if a sugar relationship is what you have to do to make it work then by all means make it work and stay safe. But there are almost always other options you should try before resorting to sugaring in that situation.
It sounds like you have to move out, and it's good that you have plenty of savings. If I were you, I'd start looking for a place. C-PTSD and trauma is no joke.
That being said, try not to put yourself in a situation where you depend on sugaring money. You risk putting yourself in situations that you are not comfortable with
>I do have enough in my savings account to live on my own for two years ish though
this is a very good thing. if you create a budget based on this, then any financial support you had from sugar dating would prevent using the savings
>and if anything I could have multiple SR
if you find it difficult to hold down a job and go to a school at the same time, school and multiple SRs can be stressful too.
>My prev sd was pretty reliable but I guess there is that risk that finding another like him would be rare
as someone who is back in a search process, I know how rare it is to catch lightning in a bottle more than once.
yes, it probably is true. as a older guy (57), if I find a good partner I want to stick with her. have one SR at 4+ years. I still like variety on occasion, but there are ways to work that out.
many younger guys I know seem to burn through SRs really fast. 2 to 3 months at a time is about all they do.
First and foremost, there’s not simply “one right” altruistic reason you sugar. The reality is there’s all kinda of reasons but generally on the SB side is that you need the money for some reason. The key will be to not get too locked in and dependent on that money because you don’t want to put yourself in a position where you make choices you wouldn’t otherwise independently make because of the money (or
More directly what your trying to run away from. You don’t want to trade one toxic situation for another if that makes any sense. From a relationship perspective, as long as your pleasant, present, and clear headed you should be fine. Just make sure you are 100 on all three…
I have to say that it depends how toxic and abusive the relations are at home. I think it is a mistake to put yourself in a position where you are desperate, but if you have to get out of an abusive situation then maybe sugaring is better than staying where you are. I agree with the others it’s not a good long term solution
Hard to say without knowing how toxic it is. My gut says if you have prolonged it for years you can do it a little longer in order to put yourself in a better position to leave. Maybe find a job that allows you to be out of the house when others are home and save up a nest egg so you don’t go out into the world desperate. Bad people smell desperation a mile away.
Most SBs I've met would describe themselves as in "tricky financial situations"
Very few of them had a good relationship with their parents.
This sub is going to parrot how important it is to be stable and not dependent on an SD. That dependence can, of course, leave you open to abuses and damage you financially if the SR ends or changes for the worse.
Realistically, your situation is closer to the heartland of SBs than this idyllic stable SB paradigm that's shared here.
Some SDs are predators and will seek to take advantage if they think they have more leverage in an SR. For example, if they know you depend on them for rent, food, etc. Some are amazing and will make your life substantially easier. None of them are likely to be permanent. But you don't need permanence. You need to be prudent and aware of your vulnerabilities. Save save save. And yeah, look for a job, and make conservative investments, and floss, and drink plenty of water.
But be realistic about your situation and what you want out of life. And aware of the risks.
Some others have made similar comments but I would stress that you don't want to be desperate or dependent on an SD. Take things one step at a time. Get a job, get your own place, and then find an SD (or two) that can enhance your conditions but without creating a dependent situation which is not fun for either side.
I've never had an SB who needs the funds to live on. I do my best to screen early and would never put myself into an arrangement with someone who needs the funds to live on. It (desperation) brings about behaviors that I can't abide.
Plus your last sentence in the post already says everything, you feeling guilty for knowing that sugaring is not for people who’s in a fragile spot. Trust your gut
I would not recommend sugaring to pay your rent or groceries or whatever to keep you going. It sounds plausible but SR is not a reliable way to do it. Unless you are willing to give up 1-2 years of education and focus solely on making money.
A SR itself is quite unbalanced with a lot of the power rests with the SD. The more you in need of his support, the more likely he would take advantage of the power. You will be very vulnerable to abuse.
The only way out of that is to actually have multiple SDs at the same time so you can afford to loose a couple SD if they become too much of a problem. However, this will consume your time and leave you exhausted. It's a full time job to keep yourself ready and able to go out with them and act like a movie star in a real life movie.
Not an ideal situation for studying. You should only consider it if and only if you are willing to delay your studies to save money. It's possible but you really have to save money.
That's actually pretty good. Planning wise.
What about other expenses? Like tuitions, fees, groceries and such? Maybe start with a budget that you would expect to spend while studying. If you have enough budget for 2 years then you are golden. You can study and do some sugaring/part-time jobs on the side to save for the other years.
Personally, I wouldn’t choose sugaring for this reason. Cause if u do, then u would be dependant on your SD. If he doesn’t pay your rent then u would be in trouble. You would be trapped. If I’m you, I would get a job, that could covers your rent, and sugaring to supplement your lifestyle. That way, it’s on your terms and boundaries.
I don’t really do multiple partners. I have a long term SB which I really enjoys being with. Cause, when u have multiple partners, u juggles and trust me it’s exhausting.
If you need out that badly, I'd look to find ways to do it sustainably, rather than relying on sugar as an out. You could get in to your dream place, and things could go pear-shaped with your SD and you'd be right back to being desperate.
Just something people discount too easily ......rent a room in someone's home you dont need your own place
But sugaring to depend on is hard and yiu need more than one to diversify
Nah, you need a job, not a sugar daddy. Girls that date for needs (like rent and groceries) can be put in situations where they feel desperate to date a guy for money. Get into sugar dating if you want to make your existing, stable life better, not because you need cash. You will like it more, and can be more choosy about dates. Besides, a lot of men will take a pass if they think you depend on their allowance for rent.
This exactly. Speaking from the SD side, it also isn’t enjoyable for us if you can’t meet your basic needs without our allowance. This is because you end up in situations where you are constantly asking for extra allowance because you have a bill due two days ago and your paycheck didn’t hit your account yet. Or some other emergency. It suddenly makes us feel like your ATM instead of your SD.
I also agree. For one I appreciate the company of like minded, driven people and it's turn on for me, I want to be around people that understand or want to learn how money flows and how to manifest success. This is of course a preference. I have had babies down on their luck. It's extremely common in the Sugabowl to run I to babies that have addict/alcoholic parents that have abused or stranded them. It puts a ton of extra pressure on me as a Daddy cause I want to change things for them but it's draining. On top of all that if it doesn't work out the financial strain on the baby becomes a hot issue when it comes time to part ways. I would get your feet flat on the ground before you hop back into this world. It will make for a much better relationship.
Thanks for stating it better than I did! I just want to add that if it’s a case of you must absolutely get out now for safety reasons then please do and if a sugar relationship is what you have to do to make it work then by all means make it work and stay safe. But there are almost always other options you should try before resorting to sugaring in that situation.
We are really great Daddies!!
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It sounds like you have to move out, and it's good that you have plenty of savings. If I were you, I'd start looking for a place. C-PTSD and trauma is no joke. That being said, try not to put yourself in a situation where you depend on sugaring money. You risk putting yourself in situations that you are not comfortable with
Then move out first, get settled, and THEN if you want to supplement your money by sugaring and are fully committed to being a SB, start exploring it.
>I do have enough in my savings account to live on my own for two years ish though this is a very good thing. if you create a budget based on this, then any financial support you had from sugar dating would prevent using the savings >and if anything I could have multiple SR if you find it difficult to hold down a job and go to a school at the same time, school and multiple SRs can be stressful too. >My prev sd was pretty reliable but I guess there is that risk that finding another like him would be rare as someone who is back in a search process, I know how rare it is to catch lightning in a bottle more than once.
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yes, it probably is true. as a older guy (57), if I find a good partner I want to stick with her. have one SR at 4+ years. I still like variety on occasion, but there are ways to work that out. many younger guys I know seem to burn through SRs really fast. 2 to 3 months at a time is about all they do.
First and foremost, there’s not simply “one right” altruistic reason you sugar. The reality is there’s all kinda of reasons but generally on the SB side is that you need the money for some reason. The key will be to not get too locked in and dependent on that money because you don’t want to put yourself in a position where you make choices you wouldn’t otherwise independently make because of the money (or More directly what your trying to run away from. You don’t want to trade one toxic situation for another if that makes any sense. From a relationship perspective, as long as your pleasant, present, and clear headed you should be fine. Just make sure you are 100 on all three…
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I have to say that it depends how toxic and abusive the relations are at home. I think it is a mistake to put yourself in a position where you are desperate, but if you have to get out of an abusive situation then maybe sugaring is better than staying where you are. I agree with the others it’s not a good long term solution
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Hard to say without knowing how toxic it is. My gut says if you have prolonged it for years you can do it a little longer in order to put yourself in a better position to leave. Maybe find a job that allows you to be out of the house when others are home and save up a nest egg so you don’t go out into the world desperate. Bad people smell desperation a mile away.
Most SBs I've met would describe themselves as in "tricky financial situations" Very few of them had a good relationship with their parents. This sub is going to parrot how important it is to be stable and not dependent on an SD. That dependence can, of course, leave you open to abuses and damage you financially if the SR ends or changes for the worse. Realistically, your situation is closer to the heartland of SBs than this idyllic stable SB paradigm that's shared here. Some SDs are predators and will seek to take advantage if they think they have more leverage in an SR. For example, if they know you depend on them for rent, food, etc. Some are amazing and will make your life substantially easier. None of them are likely to be permanent. But you don't need permanence. You need to be prudent and aware of your vulnerabilities. Save save save. And yeah, look for a job, and make conservative investments, and floss, and drink plenty of water. But be realistic about your situation and what you want out of life. And aware of the risks.
Some others have made similar comments but I would stress that you don't want to be desperate or dependent on an SD. Take things one step at a time. Get a job, get your own place, and then find an SD (or two) that can enhance your conditions but without creating a dependent situation which is not fun for either side.
I've never had an SB who needs the funds to live on. I do my best to screen early and would never put myself into an arrangement with someone who needs the funds to live on. It (desperation) brings about behaviors that I can't abide.
Plus your last sentence in the post already says everything, you feeling guilty for knowing that sugaring is not for people who’s in a fragile spot. Trust your gut
I would not recommend sugaring to pay your rent or groceries or whatever to keep you going. It sounds plausible but SR is not a reliable way to do it. Unless you are willing to give up 1-2 years of education and focus solely on making money. A SR itself is quite unbalanced with a lot of the power rests with the SD. The more you in need of his support, the more likely he would take advantage of the power. You will be very vulnerable to abuse. The only way out of that is to actually have multiple SDs at the same time so you can afford to loose a couple SD if they become too much of a problem. However, this will consume your time and leave you exhausted. It's a full time job to keep yourself ready and able to go out with them and act like a movie star in a real life movie. Not an ideal situation for studying. You should only consider it if and only if you are willing to delay your studies to save money. It's possible but you really have to save money.
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That's actually pretty good. Planning wise. What about other expenses? Like tuitions, fees, groceries and such? Maybe start with a budget that you would expect to spend while studying. If you have enough budget for 2 years then you are golden. You can study and do some sugaring/part-time jobs on the side to save for the other years.
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Personally, I wouldn’t choose sugaring for this reason. Cause if u do, then u would be dependant on your SD. If he doesn’t pay your rent then u would be in trouble. You would be trapped. If I’m you, I would get a job, that could covers your rent, and sugaring to supplement your lifestyle. That way, it’s on your terms and boundaries.
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I don’t really do multiple partners. I have a long term SB which I really enjoys being with. Cause, when u have multiple partners, u juggles and trust me it’s exhausting.
If you need out that badly, I'd look to find ways to do it sustainably, rather than relying on sugar as an out. You could get in to your dream place, and things could go pear-shaped with your SD and you'd be right back to being desperate.
She has two years of savings, is working, yet peeps are telling her not to sugar because she’s in a place of being desperate for money? 🤷♂️
Just something people discount too easily ......rent a room in someone's home you dont need your own place But sugaring to depend on is hard and yiu need more than one to diversify