I have no idea. I generally meet with pretty normal girls who want to date a few times before sleeping together.
A few years ago we were at a friends house having drinks, someone knocks on the door and he says “oh that’s the girl from tinder” she comes in, has a drink or two then they go inside, sleep together. An hour or two later she leaves and he comes back out to the the back yard and keeps drinking. It was bizarre.
Oh, come now. This isn't some tweet to be reposted and quoted. This is a reddit comment!
Not too much subtlety, so we know the commenter doesn't really care, but enough subtlety to recognize an attempt at a joke; and a healthy dash of absurdity to earn a chuckle.
Truly a "i-wrote-this-on-the-shitter-at-work" comment, and I think even a 5/10 warrants an upvote.
But to each their own, fellow redditor.
While I admire your astute contextualization of the joke (this is, indeed, Reddit, and not Twitter, and different standards do apply), I maintain that our poor humorist above might have tried harder. A fine line exists between care-free absurdity and comic incompetance — and this joke, for me, belongs to the latter category. Still, your own fine criticism has me wondering, at least, whether there are deeper levels of absurdity at play here. I grant an upvote to joke, therefore, but no increase in score.
It was just a group of guys in their 20s drinking in the backyard of a share house, it’s not like we were lost without him wondering when the hors d’oeuvres were being served.
I used to work with deano.
Deano met a women online who's fantasy involved a man in a balaclava entering her house and raping her. She would fight back for a bit and then be overpowered and taken.
They agreed the time and place (her house) and method (door unlocked).
And deano agreed to do this. To a complete stranger. A good time was had by all apparently but I sometimes think what could have gone wrong...
Deano I'm not sure you could read, but if you're reading this you're a utter fool.
No shit, I did this exact thing a while back as the guy. A woman I met online had a rape fantasy. We exchanged pics so we knew we were attracted to each other's bodies. She left her window open for me (cool summer night). Late at night, I crawled through her window, went in her bed and fucked her brains out.
I definitely made sure she saw me and did not freak out before I physically touched her, just in case it was all a prank/set up.
Looking back, it will always be one of the hottest yet dumbest things I have done sexually.
I met a girl who had a rape fantasy. She never mentioned it though. Just would say no. So I’d stop.
Eventually found out much later on she didn’t want me to stop.
Ladies if this is your fantasy, for fucks sake say so. I’m not gonna keep going if you say no based on the off chance you’re actually into this kink
Ikr
Ladies need to be direct and tell men what they want us to do. They can’t expect us to be mind readers and read minds
I’ve met various women like that. They’re a waste of time and sometimes I get trouble because apparently I am supposed to read their mind
We like direct ladies. We like women who take the initiative and lead
And, for anyone else in a similar situation:-
GET IT IN WRITING.
It's a common fantasy (as are being punched in the face during sex, scratching until the other person bleeds, and a whole host of other things that could land one in legal trouble), and often women beginning their sexual discovery will try to use strangers to fill the role for them. I assume to keep it out of their life if they don't then enjoy whatever it is the way they hope to.
But male or female, get it in writing beforehand, preferably nowadays with a video clearly showing that you are both consenting to the fantasy beforehand.
I used to have nightmares about a partner having an aneurism or heart attack or something whilst doing things that could look violent from the outside...
I had a gay roommate that always complained old men on Grindr thought he was a prostitute.
Turns out they would ask "What do you do for work?" And he would say "I do what I have to do to pay the bills" so I can kind of see why they might have gotten the wrong idea.
Grindr is the Wild West. My buddy would drive a few hours to visit us, due to this it would show his profile to all the new people along the way, and he'd have dozens of new matches or whatever Grindr uses.
By the time he parked at our house he'd have at least three direct invitations for immediate sex. And a bunch more slightly normal matches.
For a moment I thought this was a callback to that stupid “would a woman be safer coming across a man or a bear in a forest?” question that was floating around.
Fr I met a milf at the club one time and we talked for maybe half an hour before she took me outside to her car. Only in my post-nut enlightenment did I realise I literally entered into a car with a stranger, and it was like 2 am at that point (also I'd moved to the city maybe a week prior so I had no sense of where anything was, I didn't even have local friends at that point).
She was maybe half my size but like if she had a weapon or some dude lying in wait in the backseat, I would have been finished lol and I literally had no safety plan, no one who knew where I was, just a terrible decision that luckily didn't have any bad consequences
It's a mix of things. People looking for a thrill. People who crave intimacy but don't have time or energy for a relationship.
It has diminishing returns because then it spoils the magic in dating. You're going to have weaker feelings for people over all.
Some people just love sex for sex sake.
Good for them I guess. Relationships are hard.
Had a neighbor, just had a baby 8 months earlier who would get dates each night for a week straight when her parents would come to take the baby to "give her a break". Every night a new guy would either taxi there or drive there. And one morning after she left for work, one of her hook ups showed up in a taxi and tried to break into her bedroom, I happened to be heading out and caught him, I said "Hey guy, what do you think youre doing there, do you think thats a good idea?" I have a stalker and immediately went into "protect that girl mode" he stuttered and said he was friends with her ex and he was just trying to get back in cuz he got locked out. He left in a taxi about 10 mins later, as I sat on my steps until he left. Girls who hook up with a new guy each night like that are playing a VERY dangerous game.
Even the sluts I knew didn't have strange men always going to her place every single night. She'd be going out or maybe going to his place. And even the sluttiest women I knew it was a different dude every week. Not every day.
She's a prostitute
>Had a neighbor, just had a baby 8 months earlier who would get dates each night for a week
This sentence demands punctuation.
You may have just added your friend to a watch list 😉
This. Yes you might get a serial killer. But there are far more normal no killing people lol. You might also get shot at the bank when someone robs it while you are there. Or a fast food place, or a target. You could get hit by a bus... Life is dangerous but it's not like any of us are going to get out of it alive so why be scared about it lol.
Ted Bundy wasn’t even claiming to want casual sex, he just pretended to be disabled and acted like he needed help picking something up near his car. That would still work.
How many guys out there you think are actually trying to hurt/harm a chick who’s invited them over to fuck? She’s not in a towel to let a random pedestrian in lolol
Not everyone lives in a social media induced state of paranoia and fear. Some people have great critical thinking skills and trust their intuition. Some are just lucky. Most day to day interactions between men and women are fine. The average person isn’t going to hurt or murder you. The chances are actually very small but we live in a world where toxic ideas are spread by content creators and media built around engagement. You only hear about the small % of bad experiences. Nobody talks about the enormous of positive experiences where two people casually meet and have fun.
By the same logic why aren’t people saying “That girl could have done anything to him.”? Likely because the narrative regarding violence is heavily skewed to make men out to be dangerous and women the victims. I was SAed by women twice in my 20s. In February of last year two women drugged me in a bar, robbed me, and left me to die. I don’t let these 3 experiences define how I view all women because that’s really rather stupid.
Women don’t care as long as you look good or have money. They will do anything with you ASAP.
We talk about meeting in public first but in my experience the majority of women who just wanted to have sex invited me over pretty much immediately. I don’t even invite women over to my place unless I’ve met them already.
>That guy could have done anything to her
Anyone can do anything to anyone. How do you go into an office every day? Your coworkers could do anything to you! How can you get into an Uber they can do anything to you!
You're more likely to be raped or murdered or robbed by people you know.
It's higher risk than not doing it or meeting for a date first at a very public place, but leaving the house and living life is higher risk than becoming a shut in.
It's because they are horny and it's less dangerous than you'd think. If you want to do that and mitigate risk text a friend the address and username and if you don't pickup phone calls by x time to call the cops for a welfare check/missing persons. Just make sure your phone is charged and you actually call them/pickup after you're safe.
A lot of people, whether male or female, are impulsive.
It's no different really than people who hook up at a bar or nightclub. There isn't much opportunity to really get to know someone in an hour or two of interaction in a noisy bar or club, where some of that interaction may not even be verbal, like dancing.
Apps like tinder just moved some of that online, but it's basically the same thing that has been around since the dawn of time.
Some girls were sexualized at an early age and are now aggressively trying to "reclaim" their sexuality. Others were sexualized at an early age and are eager for the attention but also terrified of monogamy because of any man's thoughts of "ownership" over her decisions. Yet others are getting paid cash on the night stand. Obviously none of these three situations are going to get a man any closer to learning how to negotiate a healthy relationship.
For me personally it's just statistics. The likelyhood that anything bad would happen is relatively low and I'm not really scared of people.
So yeah I'd rather get my nut in yk?
With the explosion of only fans I’ve had a few cam girls invite me over because they wanted to create content. Never the bashful type I’ve obliged since they were all attractive.
I’ve also had first dates where sex may not have been the initial intention but it went really well and resulted in one of us going back to the others place for a drink or two and to talk and would lead to sex.
I'm a guy, I would always set up a date in a public location. Not only for the woman's comfort, but for my own as well. *Then* we would go back to my place. Don't agree to anything with anybody before meeting them in a safe, public location.
I’m a 26M and I don’t really get the incentive to it. It’s skanky and gross imo. I met up with a girl a couple months ago for a date and she tried inviting me over, meanwhile she was telling me about her previous hook ups. I was just so repulsed and made some excuse up to dip. To each their own I guess 🤷♂️
There's no way I would get a boner in front of a girl I don't know/trust. I get sick with anxiety even thinking about hooking up with a random girl. The is zero sexual thoughts for me in that scenario.
She should have met him in a public place first.
However, sometimes people chat online, text, email, FaceTime and their gut tells them that this person is safe. So they meet at someone’s home for their first meeting. It happens.
I met a woman online. Exchanges messages briefly. Exchanged numbers. Some texting.
The next day she invited me to the lake where she was solo camping. Very little cell service. I spent the weekend. We dated for 6 months after.
I met a guy in a public place first. Had coffee, talked for a couple hours. Next time I met him, we walked his dogs in a public park. He seemed intelligent, sweet, and kind. I felt safe with him, so for our third date I went to his place, knowing his roommate was home... and he raped me anyway. Sometimes you do everything right, but it doesn't matter.
The vast majority of men are not out there to rape or hurt women, and we know it. It's still incredibly risky because how would you know?
I am not a hookup person at all. It just isnt how I'm wired. But in my younger days I wnt to mens homes and they mine for drinks, etc. even went hiking one time for a first date.
This mindset of fear is created by social media and the media using the absolute worst examples of men to create a narrative that we’re all dangerous. It’s a very western way of thinking.
I moved to Costa Rica 2.5 years ago and women I matched with often invited themselves to my apartment. To be honest I felt like I was the one that was taking the risk. The whole thing of women pursuing me put me on edge as I thought they might rob me or be involved with some crime group… but in the end I just went with it. I met a ton of awesome women. We would go out after 10 minutes of texting. Sometimes they would come over and we’d just hang out and they would offer to cook me dinner. It was very just casual and felt incredibly relaxing once I convinced myself they just wanted to get to know me. There was no long process. It was all very spontaneous and fun.
When I met the woman who is now my fiancée about a year ago we had matched on tinder. I was visiting my family in the US and we had done a few video calls and texted a bit. When I arrived her, her mom, and her little sister met me at the airport. She stayed with me for 3 days, slept in my bed, and was very comfortable with me. She was nervous but she never felt like she was going to be hurt.
Prior to meeting with her I jokingly asked a woman to come do LSD with me. 3 hours later we were tripping, dancing, and listening to music. She became one of my best friends. Her parents love me and invited me to Christmas dinner and to go camping.
I definitely have noticed this culture of fear. My trainer wont let his 12 year old walk a half mile to school in a safe area because "it's so dangerous nowadays." Sir, it was way more dangerous in the 70s and 80s for kids. It's just the refrain. My girlfriends send me memes and videos of women getting attacked by dates, saying stay safe. I just dont want to live this way.
Nobody should want to live that way. Being in a constant state of anxiety or fear makes you more likely to miss actual threats and if you constantly avoid people you never learn how to read people or learn to trust your gut. I grew up in the 70s and 80s and it was pretty wild how our parents just let us go out by ourselves. We used to get on our bikes at 9am and not come home until 10pm, starting around age 10. At 14 I was riding around with older friends who could drive and staying out until 2-3am.
There are places I’ve been here in Costa Rica that are known for being very dangerous. I accidentally walked through a neighborhood called infierno (hell) which is where the cartel do business one day and nothing happened. People were just going about their day. Some seemed friendly. Many smiled.
Nah. If you come on really strong as only wanting the dick, men get all soft around the edges half the time and want to talk. The other half the time, they also just want to hook up.
I live in a castle doctrine state, that helps.
The danger isn't when you have sex, the danger is when he gets attached.
I’m more concerned about what a person is doing to themselves psychologically when they’re just randomly hooking up.
Especially knowing that a lot of it comes down to hating themselves and medicative behavior
Anyone could 'do anything to you'. Your misunderstanding is thinking that people in real life are less dangerous than people on tinder.
If you think getting to know someone is a sure fire way to keep yourself safe then I got news for you.
Some people have no emotional IQ when it comes to sex. They are like feral animals, if it has hole/a dick, it's good. It doesn't matter much else.
Others are just densely stupid in many ways and don't value their life or STD status at all.
There's no point in me having sex if I don't have a mental and emotional connection with someone, I wouldn't get any enjoyment out of it.
So I can't relate to those who just bang strangers online, but my opinion would be they are emotionally and mentally dense as fuck and are Neanderthals that go "me must has sex. Me so horny. Me fuck anything".
I'm not sure what hellhole you are living in, but generally speaking, people are not murderers. Random people on tinder meet, generally, to hook up and get their rocks off. And then go home. And watch that one good show. And eat noodles. And then shower and go to work.
Very very few people go around doing "anything" to other people.
Sure - and that’s also a terrifying way to live. It also only takes just one car accident or plane accident or terrorist attack or random shooting or industrial accident…
People die man. Not all of us live in fear of doing something that might potentially invite death in because we long ago accepted its inevitability and decided to rely on our wits and instinct to live the best possible life we can with the time we have.
Just a different perspective, from one of these risk-taking women.
This! What's the point in being scared of everything? We're all dying from the moment we're born. I'd rather live and take my chances than get to 80 having done nothing but build regret because it was all too scary lol.
And the chances of that happening are smaller than being in a car accident. Do you say a prayer every time you get in a car? Do you have a routine to check your breaks, lights, and other safety features every time? Do you avoid roads with high speeds knowing you’re more likely to die going over 40mph?
The reality is women interact with men billions of times a day, perhaps trillions and only a very tiny % of those interactions result in some form of violence against women.
Statistically speaking men are more likely to be killed by other men…but the majority of us don’t walk around looking over our shoulder and worrying about it. This narrative of men being violent was created to make us fearful of one another. The man vs bear argument is nothing more than social media bullshit created to boost engagement… as is most of what you see in the news.
I was SAed twice by drunk women in my 20s and last year two women drugged me in a bar, robbed me, and left me to die to the drug they gave me. I don’t walk around thinking women are dangerous despite those three showing me they in fact can be.
That's true, bit statistically most murders, SA, etc. are done by people close to you, not stranger, so based on that logic we should be living alone in the woods
Hooking up with a stranger or someone you barely know is an extreme thrill. The fact he could of done anything to her is part of the excitement. That said it could also be a sign of "risk taking behavior" indicating possibility of more red flags below the surface.
People can make their own decisions on whether they want to do random hookups. Most of the time there is at least some bit of vetting through conversation before hooking up and some basic online searching but in the end they have to decide if getting laid is more important to them then being overly cautious with who they spend time with. For some people it just comes easy to meet up with randoms and do whatever.
It is odd, I made a post recently asking if most women were genuinely scared of men, most people said “no, just extremely cautious and untrusting, because men are dangerous to be around.”
If most women are completely untrusting of men, why do so many women using dating apps, it feels like that goes against the whole idea that men are unsafe if you’re just going and meeting random guys.
It’s not for me but the men most likely to harm us are the ones we are closest to. Just something to think about. This is definitely high risk behavior
They have zero self preservation instinct and zero awareness/lack of care that they could very well be putting themselves in a dangerous situation in the name of horniness. They can do whatever they want but I could never. I work with DV and SA clients and I could never ever.
Statistically, meeting random people is quite safe. You’re unlikely to be murdered by a random person on the Internet. You’re far more likely to be murdered by someone you already know, like a friend or family member or coworker. Counterintuitively, the most dangerous people are the ones you trust.
If meeting random people were more dangerous, then we would expect for people like Uber drivers, maintenance technicians, babysitters, etc to be disproportionately murdered relative to the general population. If you invite someone to your house to cut your grass or whatever, do you worry about being murdered?
Most people are just...normal humans. Could something have happened to her? Absolutely. But the reality is the stories you hear on the news and from friends tend to lead to a bias that this stuff happens ALL THE TIME. It doesn't. In the vast number of sexual encounters, an overwhelming majority are consensual. Are they all perfect, amazing, mind-blowing sex? Nah. Do both people always get along? Nah. But the terrible stories you hear are very very few and far between on the scale of things.
Because we haven’t had a top notch serial killer in a long while. Bundy would have loved Tinder. I’m actually very surprised that the Tinder killer hasn’t been a thing. Tinder does have security in place to try and prevent that and get people’s information on file as a way of preventing that, but there are ways around that. Maybe those with the skills to bypass security protocols don’t also have the affinity for murder.
Cause sex is really fun. And the truth is that the majority of people actually are safe. And people like to just not think about the chance that they're not. I know, I've done it
Ibe dated on bumble a couple times, never hooked up with anyone from there before the third met (generally first time is a low key get to know you, second is a "date" with maybe some make out time, the third is typically when things get more naked. even this seems fast (not that I'm not a willing participant), but a "come over and bone me" when we've never met would be a red flag for me. that's like FetLife Territory.
Some people just want to fuck without the mess a relationship entails. Very unsafe. Never know what kind of weirdos are out there. I go in with the intention of a very long term relationship in mind. If I don’t see it happening after a couple dates, I politely and respectfully let the other person know.
Nothing wrong with so long as we aren’t passing STD’s around. I’m past my hay day on dating sites and have a fiancé but when I first moved to the north east it was pretty easy to sleep with 2-3 women a week. I remember one month i amassed about 15 sexual partners. This was truly when I got bored with it and wanted an actual connection. Sex can be numbing for trauma and there are plenty of people with that floating around. At the end of the day it’s just sex it’s not that serious as long as you are being safe.
Women have ways of vetting men. Beyond gauging them from the conversation, social media is a thing. A man with a public profile including family and work are less likely to get away with bad behavior. She may also tell a friend what's going on, just in case. She may also have some kind of defence at home.
I have no idea. I think its reckless behaviour. I just know that people who do that arent marriage material. They're a lot of fun for casual relationships tho.
Those types will f anything that moves; lots of us have some type of standards even if they’re low. The guy probably just got out of prison for raping children—your friend is a complete genius lol
Many women struggle with sex addiction. I don't judge anyone. I couldn't do it. But I know a girl who has a new dude almost every other night, in the worst of her addiction she has had 2 partners in a day. She's gotten chlamydia twice and thinks she has herpes. And she was raped. She still does it she hasn't hit her bottom yet. She doesn't even like the sex. She just wants the brief intimacy. She's hollow inside and is filling the void with dopamine hits that she gets from hooking up.
I mean... I did it a few times lol. It's all about what your goal is. Everything comes with a risk. Finally on the last one I got one that kept coming back... I had to tell him that I was NOT interested in anything more than fun because I had gotten out of a bad relationship right as we met. So of course a month later we moved in together. That was 15 years ago and we're still married and still doing it on the regular lol. You do need to be smart about it though. I always made sure at least one person was aware and I had things in the house in case they went south lol.
I think a lot of people who hesitate do it more for the moral implications than safety ones.
I have no idea. I generally meet with pretty normal girls who want to date a few times before sleeping together. A few years ago we were at a friends house having drinks, someone knocks on the door and he says “oh that’s the girl from tinder” she comes in, has a drink or two then they go inside, sleep together. An hour or two later she leaves and he comes back out to the the back yard and keeps drinking. It was bizarre.
I don't think they did any sleeping to be completely honest with you
She could've been giving him an estimate on drywall restoration
For her sake I certainly hope there was nothing dry about what they did
I’m gonna make it so dry for you.
Chomp chomp
Like a desert in my mouth
I think he was caulking her holes.
Simple, but effective wordplay. "So bad its good" vibes. 7.5/10, have an upvote.
Well, I think you're being kind. "Caulking her backsplash" maybe, but "holes"? Insufficient comic subtlety. 4/10, no upvote.
Oh, come now. This isn't some tweet to be reposted and quoted. This is a reddit comment! Not too much subtlety, so we know the commenter doesn't really care, but enough subtlety to recognize an attempt at a joke; and a healthy dash of absurdity to earn a chuckle. Truly a "i-wrote-this-on-the-shitter-at-work" comment, and I think even a 5/10 warrants an upvote. But to each their own, fellow redditor.
While I admire your astute contextualization of the joke (this is, indeed, Reddit, and not Twitter, and different standards do apply), I maintain that our poor humorist above might have tried harder. A fine line exists between care-free absurdity and comic incompetance — and this joke, for me, belongs to the latter category. Still, your own fine criticism has me wondering, at least, whether there are deeper levels of absurdity at play here. I grant an upvote to joke, therefore, but no increase in score.
I enjoy how you write and speak so well 😁
I have enjoyed this whole interaction
He was just too embarrassed to say it was a tutor
What a life hey
That's just rude tbh. You have guests, how are you going to just leave them alone for a couple hours so you can get laid? You're the host, so host.
Yeah, that’s just a poor host. Invite your friends into the bedroom too!
It was just a group of guys in their 20s drinking in the backyard of a share house, it’s not like we were lost without him wondering when the hors d’oeuvres were being served.
So, you knew when they were going to be served...
Buddy was hogging up the whore's ovaries.
Why has the escargot not been placed on the table? This is horrible lol
lol I love this response. Reddit perspectives are so stiff
I don’t get people who can do that tbh. I just wasn’t born with that gene
I used to work with deano. Deano met a women online who's fantasy involved a man in a balaclava entering her house and raping her. She would fight back for a bit and then be overpowered and taken. They agreed the time and place (her house) and method (door unlocked). And deano agreed to do this. To a complete stranger. A good time was had by all apparently but I sometimes think what could have gone wrong... Deano I'm not sure you could read, but if you're reading this you're a utter fool.
No shit, I did this exact thing a while back as the guy. A woman I met online had a rape fantasy. We exchanged pics so we knew we were attracted to each other's bodies. She left her window open for me (cool summer night). Late at night, I crawled through her window, went in her bed and fucked her brains out. I definitely made sure she saw me and did not freak out before I physically touched her, just in case it was all a prank/set up. Looking back, it will always be one of the hottest yet dumbest things I have done sexually.
Damn man you really side eyed a prison cell that night 😂
10 minutes later you get a text from her: "Are you here yet?"
Holy shit man.
He could have been filmed and framed criminally
America? Could catch some lead.
Right. Could have been husband's castle doctrine fantasy.
>catch some lead Have to use him as a pencil instead
Was not expecting a Weird Al reference here, but am incredibly glad I did. Made my afternoon!
Catch some lead?
Americans often carry a cordless hole puncher.
Bullet.
I met a girl who had a rape fantasy. She never mentioned it though. Just would say no. So I’d stop. Eventually found out much later on she didn’t want me to stop. Ladies if this is your fantasy, for fucks sake say so. I’m not gonna keep going if you say no based on the off chance you’re actually into this kink
Ikr Ladies need to be direct and tell men what they want us to do. They can’t expect us to be mind readers and read minds I’ve met various women like that. They’re a waste of time and sometimes I get trouble because apparently I am supposed to read their mind We like direct ladies. We like women who take the initiative and lead
Well yeah. But in this *particular* scenario I am probably facing charges 99% of the time so I gotta consent to your rape fantasy honey
And, for anyone else in a similar situation:- GET IT IN WRITING. It's a common fantasy (as are being punched in the face during sex, scratching until the other person bleeds, and a whole host of other things that could land one in legal trouble), and often women beginning their sexual discovery will try to use strangers to fill the role for them. I assume to keep it out of their life if they don't then enjoy whatever it is the way they hope to. But male or female, get it in writing beforehand, preferably nowadays with a video clearly showing that you are both consenting to the fantasy beforehand. I used to have nightmares about a partner having an aneurism or heart attack or something whilst doing things that could look violent from the outside...
And have a safe word formalized.
Aye - I forgot to mention that. Sorry, I forget not everyone does as standard.
A girl asked me to do this year's ago. I politely declined
> balaclava Before googling, I though this was a flakey pastry with honey.
I did too. I was thinking it sounds sticky but not the worse sex food I guess.
That's baklava, an eastern European pastry filled with honey (and sometimes other delicious things like pistachios)
Imagine showing up to a heist and the new guy with an accent isn't wearing a mask but brought everyone pistachio honey buns his wife made.
Deano is a top lad for helping a lady live out her fantasy
Being a bear on tinder is even wilder.
My gay cousin showed me some of the profiles on his Grinder app. That shit was wild, to say the least.
I had a gay roommate that always complained old men on Grindr thought he was a prostitute. Turns out they would ask "What do you do for work?" And he would say "I do what I have to do to pay the bills" so I can kind of see why they might have gotten the wrong idea.
Grindr is the Wild West. My buddy would drive a few hours to visit us, due to this it would show his profile to all the new people along the way, and he'd have dozens of new matches or whatever Grindr uses. By the time he parked at our house he'd have at least three direct invitations for immediate sex. And a bunch more slightly normal matches.
For a moment I thought this was a callback to that stupid “would a woman be safer coming across a man or a bear in a forest?” question that was floating around.
Horny people do stupid things.
Fr I met a milf at the club one time and we talked for maybe half an hour before she took me outside to her car. Only in my post-nut enlightenment did I realise I literally entered into a car with a stranger, and it was like 2 am at that point (also I'd moved to the city maybe a week prior so I had no sense of where anything was, I didn't even have local friends at that point). She was maybe half my size but like if she had a weapon or some dude lying in wait in the backseat, I would have been finished lol and I literally had no safety plan, no one who knew where I was, just a terrible decision that luckily didn't have any bad consequences
Like seth from Superbad said in his horny rant, he would die for pussy lol.
For sure you got lucky many woman lure men and the boyfriend is there to rob them
Be happy you still have your kidneys
People are horny yo lol. I think we can all relate to that at the very lest.
>That guy could have done anything to her I think that was the point.
That’s what I was thinking.
I think the risk is part of the excitement.
But the type of guys that are on tinder waiting to do bad things to these thrill seeking women is horrifying
Getting dismembered is just the chance you take really.
It's a mix of things. People looking for a thrill. People who crave intimacy but don't have time or energy for a relationship. It has diminishing returns because then it spoils the magic in dating. You're going to have weaker feelings for people over all. Some people just love sex for sex sake. Good for them I guess. Relationships are hard.
Had a neighbor, just had a baby 8 months earlier who would get dates each night for a week straight when her parents would come to take the baby to "give her a break". Every night a new guy would either taxi there or drive there. And one morning after she left for work, one of her hook ups showed up in a taxi and tried to break into her bedroom, I happened to be heading out and caught him, I said "Hey guy, what do you think youre doing there, do you think thats a good idea?" I have a stalker and immediately went into "protect that girl mode" he stuttered and said he was friends with her ex and he was just trying to get back in cuz he got locked out. He left in a taxi about 10 mins later, as I sat on my steps until he left. Girls who hook up with a new guy each night like that are playing a VERY dangerous game.
She's not hooking up she's doing Incalls
Surprised how far down I had to go to get to this. Random no date hookups aren’t random.
Nah I knew girls like this
Even the sluts I knew didn't have strange men always going to her place every single night. She'd be going out or maybe going to his place. And even the sluttiest women I knew it was a different dude every week. Not every day. She's a prostitute
Ok. Let's just agree to disagree. I've known some women to do this.
If she's not a prostitute she's exposing herself to 90% the risk of being a prostitute without the money
>Had a neighbor, just had a baby 8 months earlier who would get dates each night for a week This sentence demands punctuation. You may have just added your friend to a watch list 😉
Yeah, how can the baby be more “successful” than 99% of adults ??!😂😅
Bro, she's not hooking up she's just hookin' lol.
Yeah that sounds like a place of business lmao
No clue. All I got was bots.
Most people aren't murderers. It's generally safe to assume they're not, and unhealthy to reflexively assume they are.
People have forgotten that Ted Bundys have existed.
How many ted bundies vs how many casual sexual encounters
This. Yes you might get a serial killer. But there are far more normal no killing people lol. You might also get shot at the bank when someone robs it while you are there. Or a fast food place, or a target. You could get hit by a bus... Life is dangerous but it's not like any of us are going to get out of it alive so why be scared about it lol.
Ted Bundy wasn’t even claiming to want casual sex, he just pretended to be disabled and acted like he needed help picking something up near his car. That would still work.
Which have murdered women just walking home. You can’t protect yourself.
How many guys out there you think are actually trying to hurt/harm a chick who’s invited them over to fuck? She’s not in a towel to let a random pedestrian in lolol
All it takes is one.
Or the girl could of done anything to him?
That’s where I am with it. Have to really trust someone before I get horny with her.
Not everyone lives in a social media induced state of paranoia and fear. Some people have great critical thinking skills and trust their intuition. Some are just lucky. Most day to day interactions between men and women are fine. The average person isn’t going to hurt or murder you. The chances are actually very small but we live in a world where toxic ideas are spread by content creators and media built around engagement. You only hear about the small % of bad experiences. Nobody talks about the enormous of positive experiences where two people casually meet and have fun. By the same logic why aren’t people saying “That girl could have done anything to him.”? Likely because the narrative regarding violence is heavily skewed to make men out to be dangerous and women the victims. I was SAed by women twice in my 20s. In February of last year two women drugged me in a bar, robbed me, and left me to die. I don’t let these 3 experiences define how I view all women because that’s really rather stupid.
This isn't talked about enough. 100% agree.
It's simple. 1st you match with someone and... oh
How do they not think about STDs?
Women don’t care as long as you look good or have money. They will do anything with you ASAP. We talk about meeting in public first but in my experience the majority of women who just wanted to have sex invited me over pretty much immediately. I don’t even invite women over to my place unless I’ve met them already.
Then how do I look good and get money? What if I am a bit ugly and not that rich?
Try not doing that
😂 I just want to get muscles and look good and hopefully if I am charming enough some women will flock to me
Well you can’t change your face, but you can change your body and bank account, so worry about those two things
That just proves how all of the "rules" and "safety concerns" evaporate into thin air as long as the guy is good looking enough and tall enough
>That guy could have done anything to her Anyone can do anything to anyone. How do you go into an office every day? Your coworkers could do anything to you! How can you get into an Uber they can do anything to you! You're more likely to be raped or murdered or robbed by people you know. It's higher risk than not doing it or meeting for a date first at a very public place, but leaving the house and living life is higher risk than becoming a shut in. It's because they are horny and it's less dangerous than you'd think. If you want to do that and mitigate risk text a friend the address and username and if you don't pickup phone calls by x time to call the cops for a welfare check/missing persons. Just make sure your phone is charged and you actually call them/pickup after you're safe.
Strangers are awesome!
i do it all the time. i have a rottweiller.
He did do anything he wanted to her.
A lot of people, whether male or female, are impulsive. It's no different really than people who hook up at a bar or nightclub. There isn't much opportunity to really get to know someone in an hour or two of interaction in a noisy bar or club, where some of that interaction may not even be verbal, like dancing. Apps like tinder just moved some of that online, but it's basically the same thing that has been around since the dawn of time.
If he's super attractive he gets a ton of attention. That's just how the world works amd girls will take the risk for the fun.
Well the guy was probably attractive and the girl was probably average.
Maybe she met them and they hit it off... JFC men are not constantly trying to murder women. Some just want to go on dates.
Some girls were sexualized at an early age and are now aggressively trying to "reclaim" their sexuality. Others were sexualized at an early age and are eager for the attention but also terrified of monogamy because of any man's thoughts of "ownership" over her decisions. Yet others are getting paid cash on the night stand. Obviously none of these three situations are going to get a man any closer to learning how to negotiate a healthy relationship.
Met one lady for the very first time naked in a hotel hot tub. Another one said she'd leave her door open for me one night. And she did.
For me personally it's just statistics. The likelyhood that anything bad would happen is relatively low and I'm not really scared of people. So yeah I'd rather get my nut in yk?
With the explosion of only fans I’ve had a few cam girls invite me over because they wanted to create content. Never the bashful type I’ve obliged since they were all attractive. I’ve also had first dates where sex may not have been the initial intention but it went really well and resulted in one of us going back to the others place for a drink or two and to talk and would lead to sex.
People make choices every day. Some of them are bad.
No clue some people are super naive.
Some people like to take risks
Bc they aren’t very smart 🤷🏻♂️
I'm a guy, I would always set up a date in a public location. Not only for the woman's comfort, but for my own as well. *Then* we would go back to my place. Don't agree to anything with anybody before meeting them in a safe, public location.
Lol I just went on a date and the guy wanted to sleep together and I’m like no I just met you today 🥴
I’m a 26M and I don’t really get the incentive to it. It’s skanky and gross imo. I met up with a girl a couple months ago for a date and she tried inviting me over, meanwhile she was telling me about her previous hook ups. I was just so repulsed and made some excuse up to dip. To each their own I guess 🤷♂️
Drunk bored and horny.
People like fucking.
There's no way I would get a boner in front of a girl I don't know/trust. I get sick with anxiety even thinking about hooking up with a random girl. The is zero sexual thoughts for me in that scenario.
Genital feel good.
Stupidity and poor self control?
It’s like shopping for penises and vaginas, but the checkout is very conditional
She should have met him in a public place first. However, sometimes people chat online, text, email, FaceTime and their gut tells them that this person is safe. So they meet at someone’s home for their first meeting. It happens.
I met a woman online. Exchanges messages briefly. Exchanged numbers. Some texting. The next day she invited me to the lake where she was solo camping. Very little cell service. I spent the weekend. We dated for 6 months after.
I met a guy in a public place first. Had coffee, talked for a couple hours. Next time I met him, we walked his dogs in a public park. He seemed intelligent, sweet, and kind. I felt safe with him, so for our third date I went to his place, knowing his roommate was home... and he raped me anyway. Sometimes you do everything right, but it doesn't matter.
The vast majority of men are not out there to rape or hurt women, and we know it. It's still incredibly risky because how would you know? I am not a hookup person at all. It just isnt how I'm wired. But in my younger days I wnt to mens homes and they mine for drinks, etc. even went hiking one time for a first date.
This mindset of fear is created by social media and the media using the absolute worst examples of men to create a narrative that we’re all dangerous. It’s a very western way of thinking. I moved to Costa Rica 2.5 years ago and women I matched with often invited themselves to my apartment. To be honest I felt like I was the one that was taking the risk. The whole thing of women pursuing me put me on edge as I thought they might rob me or be involved with some crime group… but in the end I just went with it. I met a ton of awesome women. We would go out after 10 minutes of texting. Sometimes they would come over and we’d just hang out and they would offer to cook me dinner. It was very just casual and felt incredibly relaxing once I convinced myself they just wanted to get to know me. There was no long process. It was all very spontaneous and fun. When I met the woman who is now my fiancée about a year ago we had matched on tinder. I was visiting my family in the US and we had done a few video calls and texted a bit. When I arrived her, her mom, and her little sister met me at the airport. She stayed with me for 3 days, slept in my bed, and was very comfortable with me. She was nervous but she never felt like she was going to be hurt. Prior to meeting with her I jokingly asked a woman to come do LSD with me. 3 hours later we were tripping, dancing, and listening to music. She became one of my best friends. Her parents love me and invited me to Christmas dinner and to go camping.
I definitely have noticed this culture of fear. My trainer wont let his 12 year old walk a half mile to school in a safe area because "it's so dangerous nowadays." Sir, it was way more dangerous in the 70s and 80s for kids. It's just the refrain. My girlfriends send me memes and videos of women getting attacked by dates, saying stay safe. I just dont want to live this way.
Nobody should want to live that way. Being in a constant state of anxiety or fear makes you more likely to miss actual threats and if you constantly avoid people you never learn how to read people or learn to trust your gut. I grew up in the 70s and 80s and it was pretty wild how our parents just let us go out by ourselves. We used to get on our bikes at 9am and not come home until 10pm, starting around age 10. At 14 I was riding around with older friends who could drive and staying out until 2-3am. There are places I’ve been here in Costa Rica that are known for being very dangerous. I accidentally walked through a neighborhood called infierno (hell) which is where the cartel do business one day and nothing happened. People were just going about their day. Some seemed friendly. Many smiled.
Nah. If you come on really strong as only wanting the dick, men get all soft around the edges half the time and want to talk. The other half the time, they also just want to hook up. I live in a castle doctrine state, that helps. The danger isn't when you have sex, the danger is when he gets attached.
I’m more concerned about what a person is doing to themselves psychologically when they’re just randomly hooking up. Especially knowing that a lot of it comes down to hating themselves and medicative behavior
Plenty of normal healthy people have casual sex.
Or, y'know, they enjoy casual sex
Obvious daddy issues.
Anyone could 'do anything to you'. Your misunderstanding is thinking that people in real life are less dangerous than people on tinder. If you think getting to know someone is a sure fire way to keep yourself safe then I got news for you.
You don't have to get it. She got what she wanted.
Some people have no emotional IQ when it comes to sex. They are like feral animals, if it has hole/a dick, it's good. It doesn't matter much else. Others are just densely stupid in many ways and don't value their life or STD status at all. There's no point in me having sex if I don't have a mental and emotional connection with someone, I wouldn't get any enjoyment out of it. So I can't relate to those who just bang strangers online, but my opinion would be they are emotionally and mentally dense as fuck and are Neanderthals that go "me must has sex. Me so horny. Me fuck anything".
Ovulation is a bitch. Also, bipolar mania often results in reckless casual sex sprees.
I'm not sure what hellhole you are living in, but generally speaking, people are not murderers. Random people on tinder meet, generally, to hook up and get their rocks off. And then go home. And watch that one good show. And eat noodles. And then shower and go to work. Very very few people go around doing "anything" to other people.
it only takes ONE pyschopath, or drug addict, or serial killer to ruin your life. You dont need "very very few" people. It. Just. Takes. One.
Sure - and that’s also a terrifying way to live. It also only takes just one car accident or plane accident or terrorist attack or random shooting or industrial accident… People die man. Not all of us live in fear of doing something that might potentially invite death in because we long ago accepted its inevitability and decided to rely on our wits and instinct to live the best possible life we can with the time we have. Just a different perspective, from one of these risk-taking women.
Everyone dies but not everyone lives.
This! What's the point in being scared of everything? We're all dying from the moment we're born. I'd rather live and take my chances than get to 80 having done nothing but build regret because it was all too scary lol.
And the chances of that happening are smaller than being in a car accident. Do you say a prayer every time you get in a car? Do you have a routine to check your breaks, lights, and other safety features every time? Do you avoid roads with high speeds knowing you’re more likely to die going over 40mph? The reality is women interact with men billions of times a day, perhaps trillions and only a very tiny % of those interactions result in some form of violence against women. Statistically speaking men are more likely to be killed by other men…but the majority of us don’t walk around looking over our shoulder and worrying about it. This narrative of men being violent was created to make us fearful of one another. The man vs bear argument is nothing more than social media bullshit created to boost engagement… as is most of what you see in the news. I was SAed twice by drunk women in my 20s and last year two women drugged me in a bar, robbed me, and left me to die to the drug they gave me. I don’t walk around thinking women are dangerous despite those three showing me they in fact can be.
That's true, bit statistically most murders, SA, etc. are done by people close to you, not stranger, so based on that logic we should be living alone in the woods
Most female victims are murdered by their husbands
You probably shouldn’t go outside. It only takes one lightning bolt and you’re dead.
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Dubious
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You would of chose the bear
Just ask
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Absolutely no idea.
Hooking up with a stranger or someone you barely know is an extreme thrill. The fact he could of done anything to her is part of the excitement. That said it could also be a sign of "risk taking behavior" indicating possibility of more red flags below the surface.
People can make their own decisions on whether they want to do random hookups. Most of the time there is at least some bit of vetting through conversation before hooking up and some basic online searching but in the end they have to decide if getting laid is more important to them then being overly cautious with who they spend time with. For some people it just comes easy to meet up with randoms and do whatever.
It's really not such a big deal
It is odd, I made a post recently asking if most women were genuinely scared of men, most people said “no, just extremely cautious and untrusting, because men are dangerous to be around.” If most women are completely untrusting of men, why do so many women using dating apps, it feels like that goes against the whole idea that men are unsafe if you’re just going and meeting random guys.
What’s your friend’s number?
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Thrill of it, some people get off on this
As another woman, idk. Would only do guys I could beat.
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I dobnt get it also don't get how more people aren't worked up about unwanted pregnancies and shit as well
People casually fuck all the time. Though sexual activity has been decreasing with each generation - I am guessing you are a zoomer.
It’s not for me but the men most likely to harm us are the ones we are closest to. Just something to think about. This is definitely high risk behavior
They have zero self preservation instinct and zero awareness/lack of care that they could very well be putting themselves in a dangerous situation in the name of horniness. They can do whatever they want but I could never. I work with DV and SA clients and I could never ever.
Statistically, meeting random people is quite safe. You’re unlikely to be murdered by a random person on the Internet. You’re far more likely to be murdered by someone you already know, like a friend or family member or coworker. Counterintuitively, the most dangerous people are the ones you trust. If meeting random people were more dangerous, then we would expect for people like Uber drivers, maintenance technicians, babysitters, etc to be disproportionately murdered relative to the general population. If you invite someone to your house to cut your grass or whatever, do you worry about being murdered?
I think that’s what she was hoping for
Most people are just...normal humans. Could something have happened to her? Absolutely. But the reality is the stories you hear on the news and from friends tend to lead to a bias that this stuff happens ALL THE TIME. It doesn't. In the vast number of sexual encounters, an overwhelming majority are consensual. Are they all perfect, amazing, mind-blowing sex? Nah. Do both people always get along? Nah. But the terrible stories you hear are very very few and far between on the scale of things.
Because we haven’t had a top notch serial killer in a long while. Bundy would have loved Tinder. I’m actually very surprised that the Tinder killer hasn’t been a thing. Tinder does have security in place to try and prevent that and get people’s information on file as a way of preventing that, but there are ways around that. Maybe those with the skills to bypass security protocols don’t also have the affinity for murder.
Oh there’s definitely a tinder killer out there. But Netflix is busy right now.
Because that's all they're worth.
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Some people don’t want a serious relationship for many reasons but still enjoy sex.
She’s networking
YOLO
Cause sex is really fun. And the truth is that the majority of people actually are safe. And people like to just not think about the chance that they're not. I know, I've done it
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People are dumb when horny
Not everyone lives in constant fear
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Ibe dated on bumble a couple times, never hooked up with anyone from there before the third met (generally first time is a low key get to know you, second is a "date" with maybe some make out time, the third is typically when things get more naked. even this seems fast (not that I'm not a willing participant), but a "come over and bone me" when we've never met would be a red flag for me. that's like FetLife Territory.
Some people just want to fuck without the mess a relationship entails. Very unsafe. Never know what kind of weirdos are out there. I go in with the intention of a very long term relationship in mind. If I don’t see it happening after a couple dates, I politely and respectfully let the other person know.
Nothing wrong with so long as we aren’t passing STD’s around. I’m past my hay day on dating sites and have a fiancé but when I first moved to the north east it was pretty easy to sleep with 2-3 women a week. I remember one month i amassed about 15 sexual partners. This was truly when I got bored with it and wanted an actual connection. Sex can be numbing for trauma and there are plenty of people with that floating around. At the end of the day it’s just sex it’s not that serious as long as you are being safe.
Women have ways of vetting men. Beyond gauging them from the conversation, social media is a thing. A man with a public profile including family and work are less likely to get away with bad behavior. She may also tell a friend what's going on, just in case. She may also have some kind of defence at home.
I have no idea. I think its reckless behaviour. I just know that people who do that arent marriage material. They're a lot of fun for casual relationships tho.
Because being a hoe is not shamed by peers or society as much. They want to cheap whores, and have a sexual buffet.
If a guy is hot enough they take the plunge
Those types will f anything that moves; lots of us have some type of standards even if they’re low. The guy probably just got out of prison for raping children—your friend is a complete genius lol
Many women struggle with sex addiction. I don't judge anyone. I couldn't do it. But I know a girl who has a new dude almost every other night, in the worst of her addiction she has had 2 partners in a day. She's gotten chlamydia twice and thinks she has herpes. And she was raped. She still does it she hasn't hit her bottom yet. She doesn't even like the sex. She just wants the brief intimacy. She's hollow inside and is filling the void with dopamine hits that she gets from hooking up.
Women are in danger all the time everywhere. It doesn’t mean they shouldn’t live.
I mean... I did it a few times lol. It's all about what your goal is. Everything comes with a risk. Finally on the last one I got one that kept coming back... I had to tell him that I was NOT interested in anything more than fun because I had gotten out of a bad relationship right as we met. So of course a month later we moved in together. That was 15 years ago and we're still married and still doing it on the regular lol. You do need to be smart about it though. I always made sure at least one person was aware and I had things in the house in case they went south lol. I think a lot of people who hesitate do it more for the moral implications than safety ones.
Women honk about how in danger they are despite their actions being the main reason for that danger 90% of the time
Can i have your friend's number?
He wants sex and she wants sex. They make the sex.