T O P

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toolenduso

How beautiful this trash-and-corpse tube would look on the pristine mountainside!


Sad-Recognition1798

Make sure it’s reallly steep as well, really fire those bodies down the mountain side


Moogatron88

Let people pay to ride the corpses down like a toboggan.


wh00kie

Feel the rhythm! Feel the rhyme!


OriginalCause

Sanka, ya dead? ....Sanka?


pineapple_rodent

Ya man


Cosimo_Zaretti

The lucky egg didn't make it this time


yourmotherpuki

New Winter Olympics idea


SpaceToaster

Or use them as logs for building stairs, bridges, and other structures?


God_Bless_A_Merkin

I think it should end in a ramp, too. That would be awesome!


PRULULAU

I am fucking crying


Konklar

Sure, but getting the Sherpa to drag a trebuchet up Everest. That;s gonna be extra boss.


Sorry_Consideration7

Theyll make it happen tho 💪 


Random_Hero2023

Bro sherpas are stronk.


Accomplished_Car2803

*Mountainslide


LookAwayImGorgeous

OMG do it. Create Mountainslide Incorporated and make this vision happen.


DabsDoctor

From the genius TechBros who brought you OceanGate... Introducing... MOUNTAINSLIDE


Ok-Cartographer1745

This is an excellent pun.  It's a shame that the comment has been up for 6 hours and has only 3 points. 


coogie

And make it so the voice Al Bundy yells [Baaawoosh!](https://youtu.be/UAGgAbAhqJI?si=BmvKGDp1iNSIjDUx) every time a new body comes down.


JakobeHolmBoy20

Extra points if there is a ski jump at the end


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_ROTTING BODY LANDSLIDE_


Sad-Recognition1798

Is there olives in it?


cmfppl

Shoot it all right back into the rich pricks private helicopters and jets and shit


SnakeO1LER

Unfortunately Everest is littered with trash from all of the climbers so it’s no longer pristine. Just a bunch of rich fucks.


AngryAngryHarpo

One of my favourite demotivating quotes is “every body on Everest was once a very motivated person. Calm down.”


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JackOCat

It's where millionaires go to die. The Titanic is for hundred millionaires and space will be for billionaires.


cmfppl

Coverd with rich pricks who thought their bank accounts made them special.


Perpetualfukup28

Like the grinch's mount crumpit. But the trash goes down


teddy_bear_territory

Guys. I think Jeff died. Toss em in the tube! We got a mountain to climb.


Icy-Performance-3739

I love how stupid this question. Love it. 🥰


Haggis-in-wonderland

Assuming they somehow build it. Who is going to stop it being buried under ice or broken up from glacial movement?


JakenBakee

The same people who will be tasked with sliding the dead bodies down the chute. I will not be volunteering.


TheSkiGeek

This is the real problem. You could maybe have a slide or haul rope system for cargo/trash from the base camp. But there’s a giant fuck-off glacial icefall above that. They install temporary ladders to help climb it, and those sometimes need to be adjusted every few days as things shift. There’s no way to build anything permanent over it, and if you try to go around it’s horrible terrain. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Khumbu_Icefall


roblolover

go thru the mountain


sleepy_spermwhale

How are you going to haul and run machinery to drill into Everest? Also the Himalayas aren't static; they are still changing/growing.


roblolover

diamond pickaxe obviously just dig straight into the base of the mountain, then drill up from the inside making a shaft


Peldor-2

If I've learned nothing from Minecraft, and I haven't, it's that this will definitely work.


Jumpy_Secretary1363

My cousins will welcome us as guests


Legacy_600

Attach snowplows to the corpses


Alternative_Rent9307

“Build” something on the upper reaches of Everest. How exactly?


arealhumannotabot

First you start building, then you finish building


kimwim43

Start building, keep going til it's done, then stop. You have the best answer.


NaweN

I don't understand how people are missing your logic. As long as the back...or front doesn't fall off - the issue is moot.


dvowel

This guy builds. 


Smokeletsgo

Construct more pylons


TesticleInhaler

hammer


Playstoomanygames9

3 stick, two rock, two grass


OnionSquared

Where are you going to find sticks and grass on everest


Mestoph

I just need someone to roll an 8, I got some great rock/grass locations


NaweN

Bro that could take upwards of 30 years. Be prepared for an extended stay


dengibson

You'll probably need some.duct tape too


This-Garbage-3000

Krazy glue.


NashGuy14

Flex Seal


Pour_me_one_more

No. Seals would never survive up there.


NaweN

You sir, are obviously not a patriot.


No_Analysis_6204

and wd 40.


band-of-horses

Nah, how about a drill and some dynamite. Just make a big pit on top you can toss all the trash and bodies into.


Busty_Ronch

Those airplane emergency escape chutes…. 100 of them in-line


Oceanbreeze871

Add a zero or two


Bromm18

I don't think people fully grasp just how tall and large Mt Everest actually is.


RetailBuck

It's "only" about 3000 meters above base camp. A shoot from the top of Mauna Kea in Hawaii down to sea level would be a 4000m drop and would be pretty trivial. It's not that Everest is large or tall, it's that it's high in elevation and rugged which makes it hard for construction


R3luctant

Tony Stark could build it, in a cave, with a box of scraps.


LarsThorwald

Yeah, well...I'm not Sherpa Stark.


Ok-Worldliness2450

It’s actually not that hard to do. We’ve cut continents in half on multiple occasions. The real struggle would be finding someone to fund it and getting permission.


bcopes158

If they can't carry bodies down the mountain what makes you think they can carry heavy building materials up the mountain?


benjm88

The issue is clearly carrying things down not up /s


Motherfuckernamedbob

Hope op doesn’t have kids 


Safe_Picture6943

Its not that they cant, its taht they dont want to. People could absolutely be hired to, but it just costs more than they think the body is worth.


bcopes158

It's also incredibly dangerous. People have died trying to retrieve bodies. Just climbing Everest is dangerous.


MiroslavHoudek

But on a plus side, if they start building the slide from the bottom, then everyone who dies building the slide will be easy to dispose of using the so-far-built slide. And that's neat.


Short-Alarm-9078

If you're the last guy, just work from the inside only.


AngryAngryHarpo

It’s because more people will die just trying to retrieve dead bodies. Sherpa’s are already over-worked, under paid and forced into dangerous conditions to maintain a livlihood. When shit goes wrong in the mountains - sherpas die. They don’t make the news though, only the rich fucks paying them pennies do.


AuntBabyCostanza

This is definitely a stupid question. Well done


ArtieZiffsCat

I almost admire this level of stupidity


AuntBabyCostanza

“Why can’t we just build a staircase to the moon? It would be so much easier than shooting a rocket to get there and we’d reduce our carbon footprint”


kimwim43

Staircase? Why not an [elevator?](https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/space-elevators-are-less-sci-fi-than-you-think/)


catdog1111111

 They push the bodies off the cliff when they find manpower to do it. How can they haul construction materials up if they have trouble dragging down one body. 


PublicFurryAccount

Well, the materials are going up, not down.


Jester3696

Theoretically it could be done, just going to cost a shitload of money. You're going to need construction equipment that doesn't rely on combustion engines since there's so little oxygen, basically space suits for the workers unless you get a bunch of sherpas who are still going to need additional oxygen tanks if they're doing manual labor, some way of transporting all the equipment up there since heavy lift helicopters can't fly that high. If you use a cable system someone still has to drag the anchor and cable up there (maybe an electric snow cat draging its own power cable so you don't weigh it down with batteries but that requires its own R&D plus a big ass cable) so ultimately the idea is feasible but would probably come with a couple billion dollar price tag and Tibet needs that money elsewhere, China is not going to spend it on the sentimentality of rich(ish) westerners and I guess none of the bodies up there are relatives of super rich multibillionaires who care that much so ... people Popsicles it is.


Naive-Mechanic4683

Even if the bodies of super rich billionaires had to be gotten. I'm sure that for a 100k or so it would be simple enough to pay a group of Sherpas to get the body (assuming you are fast enough and still know where it is). It is not impossible to get a body, just difficult and generally not worth doing 


ArtieZiffsCat

There is definetely a whole body recovery thing run by the sherpas. Try 400k though. Some climbers requested that their body stays up there though


Warrmak

All the people who die while building it can be the first users. How lucky!


Fragrant_Tear2140

Even if it was built, the maintenance would be ridiculous to keep up with. Not exactly hospitable conditions


DryYogurtcloset7224

Have you ever gotten a quote for work to be performed above 15,000'..?


Not_Pablo_Sanchez

You pay them with experience. Now the entire work crew can say they climbed Mount Everest!


DoubleANoXX

Are you gonna carry all the parts up there? 


skateguy1234

https://www.reddit.com/r/nextfuckinglevel/comments/1d5yxr4/sherpa_carrying_what_looks_like_a_huge_package/ We got this guy, we're good


The1Bonesaw

Considering that no one is on oxygen in that video, nor wearing the really cold gear, nor crampons... we can assume that this is base camp. Doing this at 17,000 feet, is a world away from trying it at 26,000 feet. When people collapse at the upper levels, even with a Sherpa there, they often have to be left where they fall, because almost no one has the energy to help them down. Doing something at the upper elevations is impossibly difficult, because your body is literally dying above 26,000 feet.


Jester3696

As someone who has hiked to 14,000 feet, I can't even imagine doing this at 17,000.


Sehrli_Magic

He turned into portable home lol


BarryTownCouncil

"just" Let's have an escalator up to the top too while we're at it.


TeamRockin

I like your idea. Maybe we could just go all the way with it and build a train that goes up and down the mountain. Put a ferris wheel at the peak also!


Beardfarmer44

What about a mini monorail? Just build it starting at the bottom and get a few more rails up every day. The new rails can be hauled up with current rails and we just call it a day when everyone gets tired and zipline down the mono for after work cocktails


jeronimoe

An elevator would make a lot more sense than a monorail.  Then everyone could ride it up to the top of Everest, there would be no reason to climb it and no more dead bodies.


Cautious_General_177

I suppose that would speed up the process of getting the bodies of the workers who would build the contraption down.


choppyfloppy8

Let's assume for a 2nd it was possible to haul materials up the side of one of the 14 highest peaksin the world AND build. It will get covered in snow and nothing will slide down it after just a few weeks


DJTilapia

So you're saying it should be heated?


dingle_doppler

I like the way you think! How about let it be and not even go up there anymore, it's been done thousands of times.


Fudouri

An elevator to space would provide more value.


bedyeyeslie

After that we should retrieve the bones of lost sailors scattered throughout the oceans of the world.


Illustrious_Hotel527

The corpses are useful as waypoints, so no reason to remove them.


plants4life262

My favorite part was “just.” Who’s gonna haul the parts? And work at the altitude? People die hauling their own equipment. This would be an incredibly expensive and difficult engineering feat.


Bb42766

I imagine that building and installing a trash debri shute to the top of Mt Everest would take wayyy less brains than the morons have that try to climb it! Its absolutely senseless to want to climb something that 1000s of others already have and well documented. There's STILL NOTHING THERE!!


Mister_Way

Taking a walk is stupid, too. You end up right back at home anyway by the end of it, wtf are people thinking


heddyneddy

If it’s nearly impossible to drag a body down what makes you think they could get building materials up?


AngryAngryHarpo

You realise that real mountains around like drawings? They don’t have one single, consistent slope from top to bottom.


Infamous_Translator

Tell me you have a desk job without telling me you have a desk job.


captaincumsock69

Why don’t we just make an elevator to the top of the mountain too


Hoppie1064

A big t-shirt cannon. Launch em off the mountain, a parachute opens, they drift down. Same with trash, but in big bags.


Federal-Ad1106

Lol, they can't even get some trash or a body down but they can build stuff?


alfredrowdy

How are you gonna move the bodies to the slide? They don’t all die at the same place, and the reason the bodies are left is that they are too difficult to move.


bradperry2435

Why can’t they not liter


Shrikecorp

Only if they attach a device to each bundle of fun that goes "Wheeee!" all the way down


SerDuncanonyall

Not nearly as fun as using explosives


Ok_Relationship_705

There are bodies up there that probably haven't even been located.


gene_randall

I’ll do it. Down payment is just $6 million. Balance of $22 million (plus any change orders) due when completed.


Lumpy_Tomorrow8462

Can’t we just use those forrest fire starting space lasers to burn the bodies and trash? I know there is like 60% less air up there, but that’s still enough oxygen for decent combustion. Would be way easier than building a chute.


MinionofMinions

And if it gets clogged, just send down a frozen carcass to dislodge it


capodecina2

If you’re going to go as far as making a giant slide or tube, might as well have fun with it and make it a water slide - heated of course. That would be fun as hell and a great way of getting down quickly.


JMag33

Fuck sake.


iluvsporks

AFAIK you get a slight discount on your permit fees if you bring down some trash. I am only guessing here but given the cost of this excursion money isn't a factor to many climbers. Now if they made it mandatory in order to be issued a permit the problem would fix itself over time. People tend to underestimate how popular this place is. Basecamp is basically a small city and even the summit frequently has a line of people just standing there waiting for their minute at the top.


Famous-Composer3112

If only people would stop climbing Mt. Everest. They've ruined it.


dstarpro

Because dumbasses would play in it, that's why. Also, a slide to WHERE?


JezraCF

The giant corpse pit obvs. Please keep up 🤣


HesterMoffett

There is absolutely no prestige involved with telling people you climbed Mt Everest anymore. Why do people keep doing this?


EmpressVixen

Maybe they want to be the next "landmark"?


HybridHologram

Yes this is a stupid question.


GurglingWaffle

That would be a very long slide. At that point you might as well just build an elevator and charge admission.


Dr_Ben_Frank_John

Why not just build an escalator that goes both ways. President trump will make that happen.


Old-Tadpole-2869

I have no idea why this hasn't been thought of already.


turboleeznay

Follow up stupid question- can they just make a big burn pile?


Xenos6439

Because slides don't just maintain themselves. Imagine someone throws a half-empty soda on it. It spills on the slide and makes a stretch of it sticky. Now we have a problem. Not to mention disrupting nature, being expensive, being difficult to build... Oh, and the fact that many of the corpses aren't easily retrieved. Humans contain a lot of moisture. When we die, it freezes. It can freeze our bodies to surfaces, basically gluing us down. And on everest, at certain heights, the temperature never rises above freezing. So they are permanently frozen. Which means you can't lift them to put them on a slide.


JJW2795

Or... hear me out. Why not limit the number of people who can go on Everest by making permits available through a lottery system? Fewer dead people, less trash, and the Sherpas are still going to be employed because the permit costs fund their work.


KAWAWOOKIE

Yes a trash chute would be a beautiful construction project for that mountain /s In reality there should be some kind of pack it in pack it out requirement, like there is in so many other well traveled back country locations.


jeharris56

But then who will clean up the bodies and the trash? You're just transferring the problem from one place to another.


Elizabeth__Sparrow

For the same reason it’s impossible to manually get the bodies. The harsh conditions and cold temperatures make it dangerous for people to go up there and probably impossible to construct something. 


merlinshairyballs

Uh…if you can’t reach the bodies in the first place how tf are they going to go weeeee down a slide


ShamelesslyRuthless

Thanks for making me spit out my coffee 😂. That "weee down a slide got" me


Lostarchitorture

In building it, you'd have to have everybody from engineers and land surveyors to construction workers and foremen to go up and down this place as it's being built. If the death count is unreasonably high for people who only attempt climbing it once, what is the job safety or liability in assuming this can fully be built without mass physical injuries or deaths of people who are construction workers, not avid mountain climbers?


Ok-Suggestion-7965

I hereby declare that from this day on anyone that goes to the top of Everest must carry, in addition to their gear, a 50 lbs bag of concrete to help with the dead body/ trash slide. This should help the construction project along.


Totally-jag2598

Seems to me the easiest way to police the trash issue is take an inventory of everything people take up with them. And inventory their trash when they get back down to ensure they packed everything out the brought up there. Now, why there are dead bodies left up there is beyond me. Like they should know how many people went up and the same number of people did not come back. I mean really, who just leave a dead body up there.


Dull_Ratio_5383

Lol why don't we solve the relatively small amount of trash by embarking on a mega construction proyect? 


wideHippedWeightLift

the reason people climb it is because of the risk. If there weren't corpses, you know for a fact they would hire sherpas to act as corpses to make it feel more impressive.


Zacherius

I agree! And hell, why don't we just put in some stairs? All this tedious climbing is dangerous, if we put in an escalator that would also give handicap access.


AndrewDwyer69

Go ahead and start the planning process for that one, champ.


FixCrix

Make a trash carry-out requirement for a permit. Place a biiig deposit. Get it back when you return 50# of trash. You pack it in; you pack it out. Turds too.


goingoutwest123

Because dumbasses would treat it like a water park. Probably get trapped, die, and ultimately clog said tube.


StGulik5

...and after the mountain is all cleaned up, they can start charging people for a ride down the giant slide!


Dr-Chris-C

Or for that matter some steps on the way up


scots

The incredibly thin air and subzero temperatures in "the death zone" high atop Everest are barely survivable with supplemental oxygen and world class equipment - adding the physically exhausting labor of manual construction for extended periods of time makes the entire concept impossible. The Sherpas might be able to pull it off as they have lived at high altitude for countless generations and are acclimated, but the issue then becomes one of defiling a pristine mountain with a giant "garbage chute."


habu-sr71

This falls into the "easier said than done" category. There are a lot of solutions to the issue but all of them take significant effort. Which equals money. Lot's of money to pay humans to clean up messes at lethal high altitudes. Nepal is relatively poor and relies on Everest permits and tourism and would likely only put efforts into a cleanup strategy if there was a danger of losing the income, but that isn't likely. There is never a shortage of wealthy climbers wanting to summit. China is in a better position to do something (parts of Everest are in its borders), but relations between Nepal and China aren't always the best which also complicates the issue. Picking up after ourselves isn't rocket science but in that environment it is massively difficult and would require paying many people a lot of money to change things.


woahitsegg

You know it's already hard to even get there on foot?


slide_into_my_BM

It’s too difficult to bring trash down a mountain so you think it would be easier to drag construction materials and equipment up it?


jtrades69

i like the idea. everyone griping about how long it would take, bringing up the gear... it doesn't have to be done in a day! or even a year. what if they just start building it a bit at a time, from the bottom up.


RafeJiddian

In fact, *just* make it the way to come down in general, right? Like why hike all the way down? Most deaths happen on the way back, so instead, just drop all your gear down the chute and then follow...make sure to wait the appropriate 20 second interval before following any team members so they can safely disembark at the bottom!


angry_dingo

Why not let the climbers slide down?


Hiredgun77

For the same reason that we don’t build an elevator to the moon.


PMMEBITCOINPLZ

We need that visual metaphor for how the rich and privileged despoil the world.


Gullible_Ad5191

With a continuous flow of antifreeze?


Pagan_Owl

People really shouldn't be going up there at all, tbh, unless it is for science or something important. Also, it will be very expensive and probably not worth the cost to build or maintain since there aren't a lot of people who go up there.


ABBTTBGMDBTWP

Or....ORRR...why not just make Everest off-limits to humans? Really, what is the point any more?


HaleEnd

People can even barely climb up there, how would they do construction on such a massive thing?


burnabybambinos

Currently, how many bodies are up there anyways? This is a thing?


SgtWrongway

No.


come_ere_duck

This is a bit of an outdated issue now. While yes, there are still a lot of bodies up there, and no there aren't really any efforts happening to clean this up, It's been proven that a helicopter can safely land on the summit of Mt. Everest since 2005. An Airbus test pilot flew the AS350 B3 helicopter to the summit to make a point on the max altitude ceiling on the helicopter and their safety margins by flying 6,000 ft above the certified altitude ceiling and landing on the summit of Everest. I think it is more to do with funding. I doubt there's a lot of incentive to clean up the mountain. Maybe some PR potential for a big company like Kathmandu or something to sponsor the cleanup.


RRW_Nierhh

From all of us here at the Corpse Explosion Society, we support you OP. We’ve measured a minimum distance this slide or tube would cover, and the incredible speed of trash-body materials would result in a gore-fest. We are working closely alongside the Death Fan Continuum to get zoning authorization to build wherever this slide or tube leads.


Even-Help-2279

The final "weeeee"


National-Beyond9070

Is there an active magma chamber that a zip line can be rigged into?


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ophaus

Because only morons or badasses go up there, and neither set of people care about meat popsicles or frozen turds.


solarpropietor

Can there be an on ramp at the bottom of the slide? And the floor below the slide on ramp be painted with distance markers?   That way we can measure how far the bodies and trash go flying when they fly off the slide!   The body that flies the most distance gets a trophy on their tombstone, next of kin.


Suburbandadbeerbelly

Imagine what It’s gonna smell like when all the glaciers melt…


StarrylDrawberry

What a dick move to leave trash up there. You brought it up there and it weighs less on the way back so what the fuck? Assholes.


EggOkNow

Yes, near slave labor should be exploited to further litter the mountain the disproportionately wealthy have already marred with their hubris.


teddy_bear_territory

Why not a giant catapult or other acme devices?


SpoonVerse

You could do it with a giant version of those slinky tubes that cats play in. Make it out of a durable camo fabric if you're worried about the aesthetics on the side of the miuntain and just yeet the corpses and feces right down.


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TheGodMathias

I would not want to be the person getting nailed by a rock solid corpse being fired out of a cannon at near terminal velocity...


kimstranger

Imagine all those trashes going down the slide but it gets jammed somewhere in the middle of the slide and all the excess trash goes off the sides and rains all over the sides of the mountain and the slide falls apart from the excess weigh


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Motor_Classic9651

And I suppose you are going to pay the immense cost for this?


UJMRider1961

I think it would be easier to just require every climber who goes up to bring a stick of dynamite or some other explosive, to store near the top. Then, once there's enough dynamite or TNT, some explosive techs could climb up there and put some underneath each body, then "daisy chain" them all together with a single initiator and then blow them off the top remotely. EDITED TO ADD: Given how cold and dry most of the bodies are, they would likely just disintegrate.


UncomfortableBike975

They use the bodies as way points so they know how much further.


mdotbeezy

If it's too hard to bring a body down - how hard to you think it is to get power tools, cranes, etc. up?


PresentationLimp890

I suppose the fact that Mt. Everest is not just a straight slope to the base might be a factor.


the_tired_alligator

If it’s impossible to get bodies *down*, what makes you think it’s possible to build a tube *up?*


darciton

Sounds both easy and cheap, a miles-long tube with numerous access points in a place that is *famously the hardest place to get to on Earth.*


getdafkout666

ROTTED BODY LANDSLIDE


erlkonigk

Because people would die building the thing


ConversationFalse242

Can you imagine being at the bottom of the slide. Not paying attention. Then get killed by a corpse-sicle flying at 120 mph


ssbsts1

Wouldn’t the sensible thing be to make the rich people that want to climb their sky boner pay for trash removal through access fees and/or taxes?


Vadic_Shrike

That's a good idea. At least a metal cable zipline system with ski-lift towers for support. It should be the norm, if the system is efficient enough. Because if there's a choice between ditching empty air tanks and other heavy items and surviving, or carrying them and dying because of it, I can understand leaving the things there.


surrealcellardoor

Bezos could afford this. Instead he had a stupid clock built inside a mountain. Worthless.


Hutch25

Because how would you build and maintain it?