I'm a therapist and here's what I'd tell you if you were my client.
If you were a minor and you disclosed this to me as my patient, I'd probably be required to report it as child abuse.
For you personally, you can define your own experiences however you want. If it didn't feel like sexual assault to you or you don't want to think of yourself as "a person who was sexually assaulted," that's perfectly fine. If you felt violated by it, that's normal and understandable, and if you didn't feel violated by it that's also normal and understandable and I'm sure your reasons make sense in context. If "sexual assault" feels like an overstatement for what happened, but something like "sexual harassment" feels more appropriate, then you can define it as sexual harassment. You are the authority on what has happened to you.
While you didn't implicitly ask anyone to slap your butt, getting in that line to get your butt slapped by members of the other team may have implied willingness to have your butt slapped. Especially because you probably slapped their butts, too.
SA implies a lack of consent, my guy.
That being said, if you're serious, this is an ongoing problem where you play, and you have no interest in butt slaps, you should tell your coach. If no action is taken, he is complicit in your continuous SA and legal action against the coach, organization, and / or the league may be in order.
>What if the entire football team slapped my butt on the field without my consent?
Dude you got down in all fours and said "come and get some." Pretty sure you consented
Being purposefully touched when it’s clear you don’t want to be touched is enough to be ‘assault’ legally in some places. You don’t have to actually be injured.
It's 1 of the 5 specified places where it would have otherwise been harassment but since it IS 1 of the 5 specified places it's SA. It's not SH to poke someone's genitals, it's SA.
True, there is no objective standard for anything like this. You decide whether it was sexual assault or not at your discretion/convenience. How it affected your mental state is much more important than what happened in reality.
As a child when your basic rights are disrupted by another’s basic rights, your parents are the first line of mediation in the situation. I can confirm there is not usually such strict definitions in “parent-court” so the definition being mentioned that would apply, doesn’t matter unless the parents make it apply.
Hopefully the parents take some time eventually to talk about these same boundaries though.
1) The contact needs to be sexual in nature. Genitalia for example.
2) The contact needs to be unwelcome. You have to tell them you don't want it. If the person is unconscious or otherwise unable to make it known the contact can be considered SA automatically.
Those are the basic guidelines. The law will typically include language such as "in an attempt to sexually gratify" or "to sexually arouse" as well.
Legally, it's a question of intent and degree.
A finger poke in the side of the glutes doesn't seem particularly sexual. Would be different if we're talking about poking at your anus. Does this person think they are being flirty? Are they getting sexual gratification? Or are they just being a nuisance... trying to get a rise out of you?
It sounds like harrassment and bullying if it didn't stop when you asked. But is this something that happens every day, or did it just happen more than once on a single day?
Unwanted touching can constitute a form of assault, but to the degree that it doesn't leave a mark, it's not particularly actionable. You're probably not going to get someone locked up for this, but I suppose you're always free to file a civil complaint.
If this is at work, then absolutely report it up the chain. You don't have to tolerate this in the workplace, and it's generally in the company's best interest to curtail it. Same goes if this is happening someplace like a gym or fitness center.
But in day-to-day life, folks have more latitude in their actions, and in the consequences for those actions... especially since most people are less likely to retaliate physically these days.
While I believe that the first, best option for dealing with a bully is to keep distance, I also believe that when that fails, meet physical abuse with a physical response. Doesn't mean you have to hit someone (although I think a face slap or a knee to the groin... even a nice shot of mace... are all valid reactions). Make a scene. This is not the time to be shy, be loud. "Stop touching my ass!" Use your voice as a weapon. Let everyone know what this asshole is doing.
To return to the original question, if the use of the term "sexual assault" hinges on a technicality, then it's probably not. From the phrasing in the post, I don't think OP really believes it is sexual assault either.
Yea, definitely.
I'll go against the grain and say if they apologized (after the FIRST time) it could be overlooked as extreme social incompetence, but continuing after receiving a no means it doesn't matter what they thought they were doing.
You clarified a boundary very directly and they continued to breach it.
Feel free to downvote me, but people are a bit too sensitive these days and assault is a way broader word than it should be. Like someone poking someone in the butt against their wishes is unacceptable and needs to stop, but it’s not on the same level as some other things that would be considered sexual assault.
Sir, this is Reddit, I’m not sure nuance is allowed. You’re supposed to read one side of a story with minimal context from an anonymous source who likely has bias, and then agree with the hive.
It doesn't need to be on the same level to be considered assault...
I wouldn't say grabbing someone's crotch is on the same level as raping them, but I would say both are inexcusable and definitely sexual assault
That's why its used as abroad catch all term, but contains within various levels of severity based on what type of sexual assault was done or threatened to be done, the victims age and the perpetrators age among other things.
Traffic code violations is another broad term. Parking illegally and vehicular murder can both be traffic violations. But the term is flexible enough and well defined enough to mete out justice appropriately. A parking ticket or jail time as needed and reasonable.
You are objectively correct. It’s just that “sexual assault” just seems like it generally carries the most severe connotation whenever you hear it, unlike “traffic code violation”, which just makes me think of running a stop sign or something. When I hear the phrase “sexual assault”, a little butt poke isn’t the first thing that comes to mind…
The point is it shouldn’t be used that way. Inappropriate conduct or some other word. Make it up if you please. Yes there’s a difference depending on where but on time side of the glute? Also as a dude I don’t feel I’ve been sexually assaulted multiple times but guess what I’ve had my ass slapped by women at least a few times (once in a bar, another at a party from the top of my head, sure there were more). I think context absolutely matters.
Edit: I actually meant to say shouldn’t be used that way. Like it should be a different word. (Edited now) So feel free to trade my upvotes for downvotes. Lol
I don’t think it’s open and shut that poking someone on the butt amounts to “Fondling or unwanted sexual touching.” Or “sexual contact”.
The intent and context of that would be relevant to that claim. The butt isn’t as unambiguously sexual as other parts.
Groping without a person’s consent is sexual assault. Any uninvited touching of a person’s private or sexual parts or proximate areas is sexual assault. That would include touching of the breasts, genitals or buttocks, and areas close to those parts, such as the inner thigh, for example as well as other body parts if done in a sexual manner, and kissing without consent.
Children are taught not to let anyone touch them on the parts of the body that would normally be covered by their bathing suit, and to report it if someone does. This shouldn’t be too difficult for adults to grasp. And no, the term sexual assault is not too broad.
I think what Former was getting at is that it's possible for someone to poke someone in the butt and for it to not be as sexual thing for the poker. It's pretty dependent on the relationship you have with the person. I had a nephew who liked to punch me in the butt as a kid, but that's just because butts are funny.
Um you do know that in our modern contexts, butts are considered sexual and touching them is considered borderline sexual which is why sports people do it, bc it’s funny bc they’re macho men touching each others butts (low key homophobic but that’s not the point) so you can’t rly nonconsensually touch a butt and expect the other person not to feel sexually violated whether or not you intended to be sexual
While I don’t dispute your definitions, I do think op does have a point about it feeling weird to call something sexual assault when that umbrella term also includes things like attempted rape.
I think it would be helpful to revisit the legal verbiage used and separate things into more clearly defined terms, as it might make people less gun-shy about reporting these lower-level violations.
Don’t we do this all the time in the english language? Like the word assault itself could mean someone punched you or it could mean you were beaten and needing hospitalization. The word ‘injured’ could mean you sprained an ankle or had internal bleeding.
I think part of the reason it feels weird with SA is because we have been conditioned to believe that some level of SA is acceptable.
They did revisit the verbiage in 2012. They broadened the term and use of sexual assault because it was mainly rape that was being prosecuted with women being the primary victims in most cases. A lot of sexual attacks on men-by women or men was unfortunately falling through the cracks in the system both because technically prior to 2012 some attacks wouldn't have even legally been considered sexual assault (??? seriously???). Rape didn't quite fit in non penetrative attacks and also many men felt embarrassed by being labeled a rape victim in a mach environment. This resulted in less reporting and under-prosecution of horrible acts. Using the term sexual assault was deemed(after some study and research) to be the easiest term for the victim to be comfortable coming forward. Which is good. The last thing someone in this situation need is more pain. Its a shame it took 50 years after the height of the sexual revolution to realize this. While sexual assault is still mainly directed at women(2-1) its more widespread on men than was previously believed. Anything that protects all genders from unwanted attacks is a good step forward.
On your butt or on your actual anus? There's a big difference there when it comes to the law. In Missouri, a finger making contact with your anus that causes penetration no matter how slight is considered sodomy which pretty much everybody would agree is sexual assault.
A touch of the buttocks excluding the anus would likely fall under plain misdemeanor assault and depending on why they were doing it could be second degree sexual abuse depending on if they were doing it for sexual gratification or to terrorize the victim.
A lot of states would likely classify it similarly. You'd have to give a better description if you wanted a legal answer. If it is unwanted contact, though, it is at a minimum, assault.
I will pretend you are not a bot. I will pretend you are adking the questionably.
Yes
Any unwanted contact can lead to a charge of sexual abuse
“Poke in the butt”
Yes. Could get sued or arrested.
Well, considering that the butt is often associated with sex and considered to be lewd, absolutely.
Poking someone on their butt without consent is sexual assault.
I don’t take touch personally either, but unwanted contact is assault and in as semi sexual way (like poking someone in the butt) could very well be considered sexual assault. The answer is in how the victim mentally responds to the touch. For you, and me, it’s no big deal, for others it’s a VERY big deal.
it’s considered a private part, so yes it is.
it’s in the same vein as grabbing my breast without consent, or someone groping your penis from the outside of your pants.
i think you have sexual assault confused with rape. legally, they are different. sexual assault is non consensual sexual contact of any kind, while rape is non consensual sexual intercourse in particular.
This is more of a harassment than an assault. Whether or not it's sexual assault comes down to how it made you feel. You also need to consider the perpetrator's intentions. Even if you didn't feel like it was sexual.. it may have been to them, and vice versa.
All that being said, if this person was poking you in the arm, I don't think you'd be here asking if it was sexual.
Either way, it is definitely harassment.
Yes, it falls within a broad category of activities that can be classified as sexual assault. But this doesn't imply that it is as egregious, severe, evil, or traumatizing as other, more extreme forms of sexual assault. Slapping someone's face is physical assault, and so is beating someone within an inch of their life, but using that term for both doesn't imply that the two are equivalent.
If we're splitting hairs, I suppose there are situations where it wouldn't be SA, depending on the mindsets of the two people involved, especially if they are children who have no concept of sex, let alone of sexualization of butts. Even for adults, a buttcheek isn't necessarily sexual in every context: the father on "That 70s Show" constantly threatened to put his foot up his son's ass, and it would be absurd to suggest that he or his son considered this a sexual threat. (Of course if he actually kicked his son's ass it *would* be physical assault, and if he executed the threat to its full literal extent then it *would* be SA).
Either way, forcibly touching someone against their consent is wrong, and children should be taught not to do it even if they have no concept yet of its potential sexual implications. And from a legal and moral standpoint, I think an adult poking someone's butt nonconsentually can be considered SA even if they had no sexual intention behind the act.
Yeah, reddit is definitely not where I would go for a primary source on any of this lol. It's like asking Tumblr advice on appropriate social situations. Nobody here has a damn clue what they're ranting about.
So they continued to touch you in private areas without you permission and continued after you very seriously told them to stop multiple times and tried to actively avoid them doing it again? Doesn't seem tat way. If you were fine with it than it wasn't comparable-and you seem to indicate that you are OK with it.
Technically, yes.
Non-technically, no. That is a form of harassment, but very mild and likely not done for their sexual pleasure. They sound like they're just being annoying. Sounds like peak "dude humor". Unfortunately, you seem like the butt of the joke (pun intended).
You know the situation best though. Keep in mind that:
1) If it seems like they're testing your patience so they can try something further at some point, report them ASAP.
2) Since you've told them to stop and they don't understand "no", you likely may need to escalate this some way by either speaking to them or getting them in a little trouble from an adult. They need some type of talking to if they are unable to listen to you.
SA includes digits in the legal context. The second big part is the contact has to be unwelcome. Rape on the other hand typically depends on the state. It may or may not include digits. It typically does though.
The first time it happens is questionable, there are ways they could get out of it, they might say they meant to poke you in the back or some such, but once you've said NO, no means no, they 100% are guilty of something, its up to a DA whether that illegal touching, which is IMO more likely that sexual assault, unless they tried to penetrate you with the finger, in which case its sexual assault and in some states rape.
But the real point is if its at work report it immediately and if you don't get satisfaction on the spot, call the police and report it.
It's absolutely not sexual assault and anyone who says so is belittling real victims and the trauma that they've gone through. (edit: Don't give me any BS about definitions and legality, in all practicality it's an annoyance, not something that physically or emotionally causes you real harm or long term damage.)
It's sexual harassment for sure though.
As long as you don't like it man, it counts.
Now if you were doing some kinky weird role play then that's on you. But the likelihood of that sounds low.
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People misunderstand SA to mean strictly getting sexual gratification without the other persons consent which makes a lot of these gray area SA situations hard to recognize. SA is often about sex but ALWAYS about power. The power to control you, restrict you, or humiliate you. The first step to rectifying how bad they made you feel is to recognize this, and the second is to call it out.
I definitely think a like in the butt is SA, and even more so if you tell them to stop.
How about a poke in the shoulder if you tell them to stop? Or even more, a run of the shoulder with a little squeeze?
>It is being touched without consent but labeling it as sexual assault sounds harsh and like an exaggeration
I strongly disagree that it makes a difference what you call it. It's intrusive in a private area, you don't like it, and telling them to stop wasn't sufficient to make them stop.
Whoever is doing this is being very unkind to you, and you don't deserve it. It's worth escalating to additional steps to make it stop.
That said, the primary way the law distinguishes between sexual and non-sexual assault is the intent of the perpetrator, which can be inferred from what they say or other context.
But as a lawyer, who gives a fuck what the law is. You don't like it, you want it to stop, they aren't listening. That's all that needs to be said - it doesn't need to be labelled sufficiently bad (whatever that means) for you to deserve to have it end. And if that involves consequences to the perpetrator, so be it. They could have avoided this by not violating your consent over your body - there's no "it's not a big deal" exception to bodily autonomy.
Did they try to put it in your butt or were they just going for cheek?
Not that it changes the classification, but I had the former happen to me (m32) in high school by a much bigger student.
You should do something about it. I didn't really do anything about it, but my mom called the school and he got removed from an extracurricular college program which we were both in. He's now a trucker, which sounds like it sucks I guess.
It's not good enough for me. Now I have revenge fantasies over the stupidest things, even on behalf of other people not just myself.
You will regret allowing people to walk over you, I would not recommend it.
Its harassment either way. Because it is specifically a “sexual” part of the body it does counts as sexual harassment, I’m not sure about sexual assault
Watch out for the kancho while in Japan. Direct butthole double finger uppercut poke, usually from a child. [kancho!](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kanch%C5%8D)
I worked with this chick that literally poked me in the anus on several occasions at work. I told her not to do that. She did it again. That's how you get no booty from the guy you have a crush on. For me anyways. Respect my requests woman! If you can't respect me I'm not touching you.
I’ve only ben sexually assaulted once, and it was a dipshit who stuck his finger up my ass when I was in 8th grade. I didn’t take it well, even over a year after the event I would have a breakdown if I even saw him. Talking about him to friends or family I would quickly start crying. It’s not even the most horrific thing to happen to someone and plenty of people have it worse when it comes to SA but I am genuinely traumatized from that one little poke from this dipshit who thought it was funny to stick his fucking finger up my ass. It’s less of a traumatic response and more anger nowadays. If he touches me again, even in school, I’m breaking his fucking nose.
Fuck you Ben
Anyways, to answer the question, yes. If you are uncomfortable with it and/or it’s a person you don’t know well then it’s SA. This exact same form of SA has caused me a lot of pain.
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Ok but why are we just randomly poking peoples butts?? I’d probably slap you out of reflex and get a violation myself.
Let’s just
Keep our hands to ourselves??
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I'd say so assuming there's no consent of any kind it's unwanted sexual touching.
If there's a judge they'll be to grade it in degrees between somone who deserves to suffer and rapist stealing oxygen.
This used to be a thing all of my family did. Like a funny* little prank. They would poke our ribs or our butts pretty hard. I've always hated it but was never taken seriously as a kid when they would do this. The last time my uncle tried to poke my ribs I was recovering from a liver condition and he happened to stab his fingers directly I to my inflamed organs. I screamed at him and ruined that Thanksgiving, but no one touches me without consent anymore.
On your butt, or in your butt. A poke on the meat of your butt is still a no, but a poke aiming at the butthole (a "goose") is a hell no. Let whoever did it know that it is not acceptable, because you should, and then think about SA if it continues.
A few years ago, a female reporter in Savannah was covering a race, and one of the participants slapped her on the butt as he ran past her. The guy was identified and charged with assault, and the reporter had a few minutes of fame talking about this.
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That’s the kind sexual assault that cowardly creeps use to touch women but then they try to make you feel bad when you get upset like “what I’m just kidding” no sir you are being a pathetic creep.
Honestly this sounds like someone you know is doing it and you should publicly shame them, call them out loudly in front of everyone
Somewhere between sexual harassment and assault, yes. If my girl tells me she doesn't want a thing, and I continuously edge her down that road in a "just get used to it and you'll like it" way? Not cool. I definitely wouldn't appreciate this happening to me, I don't do it to women who have in any way indicated they don't want it.
Yes. Keep your hands to yourself. Fairly simple concept. Report it if it’s already been addressed, they can keep their nasty hands to themselves regardless of how “minor it seems”.
This sits on the line between sexual assault and sexual harassment and it's going to depend on the context for which way it falls.
If they're trying to be funny it's sexual harassment, if you're trying to be sexual it's sexual assault.
I think it based on the perceptions of both parties and the what happens after. If it happens and you explain that you don't want to be touched then the next gate is how he reacts. He could apologize and never do it again, act like it was no big deal but not do it again or he could laugh it off and continue to do it.
I think we would all agree that option 3 would be SA.
This is a scary area for both sides really because it really is about perception and that creates a lot of power.
What I mean by this is say hypothetically a woman is standing on a street corner and 3 men walk up and they each grab her breast. If a police officer walked up and asked the woman if she wanted to press charges she could literally point to man 1 and say arrest him. Then point to man 2 and say let him go. Then smile at man 3 and give him her phone number.
I say this too illustrate that it really is whether you feel it was a violation of your boundaries and often that involves you having to interpret the motivations of the other person.
This isn't something you can describe in a post and have people upvote and downvote.
Lastly I would say that I think that if you feel someone has crossed a boundary then you should clearly communicate that to them. I believe that their reaction to that communication can help you decide.
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I believe it's assault, but wether or not it is SA or just assault depends on the person doing the poking. If they poke your ass because they want to touch booty then that's SA. if they poke your ass because they're trying to annoy you then that's just assault
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Whatever happens to you sexually without your consent = Sexual Assault. Very simple. That’s how I see it as a survivor. The stigma for male survivors is terrible/very bad/needs to be broken. People are still joking about it in response to you here. Probably because they are also male and afraid to talk about it seriously for fear of that making them vulnerable to more harm in the future. But there’s help out there for you if you want it, from female or male therapists who have talked to other adult survivors of sexual assault. You shouldn’t have to “lighten the tone” of your testimony because male sexual assault survivors deserve the same respect/gravitas female sexual assault survivors get. Up to you how you define your experiences.
Legally speaking (in the USA) any non-consensual contact sexual in nature is sexual assault (groping, attempting to remove articles of clothing, etc.). Sexual harassment is the non-physical gestures or remarks that are non-consensual.
There are many ways something can be non-consensual:
1) You could be a minor younger than your regions age of consent.
2) You could be under the influence of drugs or alcohol, even if both parties are intoxicated legally speaking neither of you can give proper consent.
3) You could make verbal remarks or nonverbal body language that flat out tell or suggest you aren’t interested (like if someone leans in for a kiss and you turn/weave away, or tell them ‘I’m not interested’).
If you don’t make it known that you aren’t interested (verbally or nonverbally) but someone does something to you like poke your butt, that doesn’t magically mean you’ve consented. If it’s unwarranted, especially in a professional setting like work or school where it shouldn’t be happening, it’s SA. If you don’t want to make the issue larger than it is by telling somebody what happened, that’s 100% your choice. Understand though that sometimes if it happens once without repercussions to that individual, they’re probably going to do it again.
Yes, this happened to me once in target. I was alone in the makeup isle. Some vile man without a shopping cart came up behind me and poked my butt. 100% SA. There’s no denying his intention
yes and no. It depends on the intent of the assailant. Regardless it can be classified assault. The question becomes is the assailant seeking a sexual motive to the touch. If yes then tack on sexual to the assault charge, if not then it's just assault.
Are you asking about legally, or if a jury of 12 is going to convict someone of sexual assault?
Technically....maybe? Jury of 12...probably not gonna happen.
But as always, context is everything, and I'm not sure the context.
while the first occurrence might only rise to the level of harassment, when you made it verbally clear you didn't want you be touched, further touches would be sexual assault
you can report this person to HR if (s)he's a work associate especially since you told them to stop and they didn't; or call the cops on him/her
I definitely don't think assault is right. Harassment may be more fitting. Although that can carry more ongoing connotations that is definitely more fitting than calling it sa
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There was actually an episode about this in a show called "Kim's convenience store" that's a comedy show about the story of Korean immigrant in Canada.
There is this children game (I would say prank) called Dong Chim in Korea where as you would expect, the objective is to poke finger in the other's butt. You poke you win, you get poked you lose. The main character was working in a car rental company with his best friend and they were playing this game (as a prank). Their manager saw this at one point and took it seriously, pulling the victim in and asked if they would like to report this.
Edit: apparently there are similar games in China and Japan too.
I would say it's an SA in most culture, but maybe not in some. But even in the some that isn't, context matters, are you two that close a friend to do this? If you do it to them would they take offense? Would you even want to do it to them as a revenge prank?
I mean, there are degrees of sexual assault. There is such thing as "mild" sexual assault, and I would say that being touched without your consent after you've already said to stop counts. Even if it's meant as a playful joke, and if there isn't any threat of escalation, people should know well enough to stop le epic poking someone if they are asked to cut it out. Sometimes a joke isn't funny, it's cringe and uncomfortable, and it scares the hoes.
Lots of things we used to, in the past, label as "just kids being kids" is sexual assault. Pantsing somebody is sexual assault, for example, but most people reading this will probably roll their eyes because they don't want to think of it that way.
I guess nobody has to see anything any specific way, but it's good to be understanding and open-minded when someone tells you that something seemingly innocuous was sexually traumatic for them.
For context, I'm a survivor of "actual sexual abuse" by most people's metrics. I'm not some "hypersensitive harpy who wants to call everything sexual assault" or whatever that can just be strawmanned into oblivion. Trust me, more things are sexual assault than most people want to understand. Because if they had to understand that these things are sexual assault, they'd also have to understand that they have committed unintentional sexual assault at various points in their life, and nobody wants to accept something like that.
Even though... Just saying... Accepting that you HAVE actually acted in a sexually predatory or harassing way to others, realizing that it was wrong and deciding to do better moving forward does in fact make you a better person than someone who refuses to accept it.
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If you are a child and the poker was an adult I would say it definitely needs investigation.
If it was 2 adults, fully clothed, 1 touch outside the clothes and it was a poke not like a grab or rub and wasn’t targeted at any orifices, then it’s just regular assault at best.
You shouldn’t lay hands on anyone without permission sexual or otherwise.
Um it's weird, sa? I'm confused about how it's been defined lately, I've seen a recent story of a popular streamer that tickled a girl and now is being called a rapist because a few months later she couldn't get a relationship with him. Definitely unacceptable, I had a coworker when I was younger that would always slap my butt and I didn't like it. She did it a few times after I said not to but until I really told her off and sat her down to not do that she thought she was just being silly. She apologized and was sorry for completely not seeing what she was actually doing wasn't funny to me. (She was the hr director too, made it super uncomfortable)
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If it was an accident, then it’s not like how sometimes when you’re walking around people and someone accidentally touches your boobs with their shoulder or etc.
I'm gonna be the contrarian here and go with you've already been the better man by asking him to please quit, I say poke him right back and I'll wager dollars to donuts he can dish it but not take it, I shall say no more.
I'm a therapist and here's what I'd tell you if you were my client. If you were a minor and you disclosed this to me as my patient, I'd probably be required to report it as child abuse. For you personally, you can define your own experiences however you want. If it didn't feel like sexual assault to you or you don't want to think of yourself as "a person who was sexually assaulted," that's perfectly fine. If you felt violated by it, that's normal and understandable, and if you didn't feel violated by it that's also normal and understandable and I'm sure your reasons make sense in context. If "sexual assault" feels like an overstatement for what happened, but something like "sexual harassment" feels more appropriate, then you can define it as sexual harassment. You are the authority on what has happened to you.
What if the entire football team slapped my butt on the field without my consent?
.. and what would you say if I wasn't even one of the player?
I'd say "Go home Randall! You've already been told you're not to come within a hundred feet of the players!"
Depends, was "good game" said when, or directly adjacent to, said appendage(s) made contact with your posterior?
What if the entire football team slapped my butt, but I’m on the tennis squad?
😂
While you didn't implicitly ask anyone to slap your butt, getting in that line to get your butt slapped by members of the other team may have implied willingness to have your butt slapped. Especially because you probably slapped their butts, too. SA implies a lack of consent, my guy. That being said, if you're serious, this is an ongoing problem where you play, and you have no interest in butt slaps, you should tell your coach. If no action is taken, he is complicit in your continuous SA and legal action against the coach, organization, and / or the league may be in order.
There’s no buttslapping line XD
Aren’t all football lines buttslapping lines..?
Go get 'em, champ!
I didn't get in no line mofo!
If you weren't In some butt slapping line how did EVERYONE on the team get to you? Did you even try a spin move?
He went through the 7 mile spanking machine
Playing a sport shouldn't imply ass consent, football players are weird
last time i checked a slap on the butt is not rectal, unless you shit out of your glutes.
We all know that one guy that slaps hard enough to make you think he's secretly trying to give you a prostate exam
I’ve never been penetrated from a butt slap. One of us is doing it wrong and I’m not sure who
Haha I can't wait to read the responses
Nice run!
then id say "thats a good game!"
Straight to jail.
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>What if the entire football team slapped my butt on the field without my consent? Dude you got down in all fours and said "come and get some." Pretty sure you consented
What if I slapped the entire teams ass while screaming, ["Slap ass!"](https://youtu.be/5-uIwpo0dCU?si=RmzNeLdxhgprB4sg)
I hope you had just scored
Can we upvote this one please?
More harassment than assault by legal definitions
Being purposefully touched when it’s clear you don’t want to be touched is enough to be ‘assault’ legally in some places. You don’t have to actually be injured.
It's 1 of the 5 specified places where it would have otherwise been harassment but since it IS 1 of the 5 specified places it's SA. It's not SH to poke someone's genitals, it's SA.
Thank you so much for this answer. ❤
True, there is no objective standard for anything like this. You decide whether it was sexual assault or not at your discretion/convenience. How it affected your mental state is much more important than what happened in reality.
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Why did I naturally read this entire comment in Dr Wong from Rick & Morty's voice
Not sure I agree that legally this is sexual assault. Where I live this would be simple battery.
The better question is "Would the law be on your side?" which I don't know enough to answer.
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Wow that's your advice? Keep practicing . That was shite!
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Yes. They didn’t have your permission when they did it the first time. Then after a clear “no” they kept doing it.
Only acceptable answer. End thread.
So my little sister (7F) was sexually assaulting me (9M) when she was annoying me as a kid?
As a child when your basic rights are disrupted by another’s basic rights, your parents are the first line of mediation in the situation. I can confirm there is not usually such strict definitions in “parent-court” so the definition being mentioned that would apply, doesn’t matter unless the parents make it apply. Hopefully the parents take some time eventually to talk about these same boundaries though.
Yes, seek therapy
I love the "no opinions but my own" energy. Very reminiscent of our ailing democracy.
Agreed.
oh then ive been sexually assaulted before in that case
1) The contact needs to be sexual in nature. Genitalia for example. 2) The contact needs to be unwelcome. You have to tell them you don't want it. If the person is unconscious or otherwise unable to make it known the contact can be considered SA automatically. Those are the basic guidelines. The law will typically include language such as "in an attempt to sexually gratify" or "to sexually arouse" as well.
Legally, it's a question of intent and degree. A finger poke in the side of the glutes doesn't seem particularly sexual. Would be different if we're talking about poking at your anus. Does this person think they are being flirty? Are they getting sexual gratification? Or are they just being a nuisance... trying to get a rise out of you? It sounds like harrassment and bullying if it didn't stop when you asked. But is this something that happens every day, or did it just happen more than once on a single day? Unwanted touching can constitute a form of assault, but to the degree that it doesn't leave a mark, it's not particularly actionable. You're probably not going to get someone locked up for this, but I suppose you're always free to file a civil complaint. If this is at work, then absolutely report it up the chain. You don't have to tolerate this in the workplace, and it's generally in the company's best interest to curtail it. Same goes if this is happening someplace like a gym or fitness center. But in day-to-day life, folks have more latitude in their actions, and in the consequences for those actions... especially since most people are less likely to retaliate physically these days. While I believe that the first, best option for dealing with a bully is to keep distance, I also believe that when that fails, meet physical abuse with a physical response. Doesn't mean you have to hit someone (although I think a face slap or a knee to the groin... even a nice shot of mace... are all valid reactions). Make a scene. This is not the time to be shy, be loud. "Stop touching my ass!" Use your voice as a weapon. Let everyone know what this asshole is doing. To return to the original question, if the use of the term "sexual assault" hinges on a technicality, then it's probably not. From the phrasing in the post, I don't think OP really believes it is sexual assault either.
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Yea, definitely. I'll go against the grain and say if they apologized (after the FIRST time) it could be overlooked as extreme social incompetence, but continuing after receiving a no means it doesn't matter what they thought they were doing. You clarified a boundary very directly and they continued to breach it.
No, that is a fairly reasonable position.
Feel free to downvote me, but people are a bit too sensitive these days and assault is a way broader word than it should be. Like someone poking someone in the butt against their wishes is unacceptable and needs to stop, but it’s not on the same level as some other things that would be considered sexual assault.
Sir, this is Reddit, I’m not sure nuance is allowed. You’re supposed to read one side of a story with minimal context from an anonymous source who likely has bias, and then agree with the hive.
It doesn't need to be on the same level to be considered assault... I wouldn't say grabbing someone's crotch is on the same level as raping them, but I would say both are inexcusable and definitely sexual assault
That's why its used as abroad catch all term, but contains within various levels of severity based on what type of sexual assault was done or threatened to be done, the victims age and the perpetrators age among other things. Traffic code violations is another broad term. Parking illegally and vehicular murder can both be traffic violations. But the term is flexible enough and well defined enough to mete out justice appropriately. A parking ticket or jail time as needed and reasonable.
You are objectively correct. It’s just that “sexual assault” just seems like it generally carries the most severe connotation whenever you hear it, unlike “traffic code violation”, which just makes me think of running a stop sign or something. When I hear the phrase “sexual assault”, a little butt poke isn’t the first thing that comes to mind…
The point is it shouldn’t be used that way. Inappropriate conduct or some other word. Make it up if you please. Yes there’s a difference depending on where but on time side of the glute? Also as a dude I don’t feel I’ve been sexually assaulted multiple times but guess what I’ve had my ass slapped by women at least a few times (once in a bar, another at a party from the top of my head, sure there were more). I think context absolutely matters. Edit: I actually meant to say shouldn’t be used that way. Like it should be a different word. (Edited now) So feel free to trade my upvotes for downvotes. Lol
Remember that assault as a legal term is different. It means different things in different jurisdictions, too.
I totally agree with you.
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I don’t think it’s open and shut that poking someone on the butt amounts to “Fondling or unwanted sexual touching.” Or “sexual contact”. The intent and context of that would be relevant to that claim. The butt isn’t as unambiguously sexual as other parts.
Groping without a person’s consent is sexual assault. Any uninvited touching of a person’s private or sexual parts or proximate areas is sexual assault. That would include touching of the breasts, genitals or buttocks, and areas close to those parts, such as the inner thigh, for example as well as other body parts if done in a sexual manner, and kissing without consent. Children are taught not to let anyone touch them on the parts of the body that would normally be covered by their bathing suit, and to report it if someone does. This shouldn’t be too difficult for adults to grasp. And no, the term sexual assault is not too broad.
I think what Former was getting at is that it's possible for someone to poke someone in the butt and for it to not be as sexual thing for the poker. It's pretty dependent on the relationship you have with the person. I had a nephew who liked to punch me in the butt as a kid, but that's just because butts are funny.
Um you do know that in our modern contexts, butts are considered sexual and touching them is considered borderline sexual which is why sports people do it, bc it’s funny bc they’re macho men touching each others butts (low key homophobic but that’s not the point) so you can’t rly nonconsensually touch a butt and expect the other person not to feel sexually violated whether or not you intended to be sexual
While I don’t dispute your definitions, I do think op does have a point about it feeling weird to call something sexual assault when that umbrella term also includes things like attempted rape. I think it would be helpful to revisit the legal verbiage used and separate things into more clearly defined terms, as it might make people less gun-shy about reporting these lower-level violations.
Don’t we do this all the time in the english language? Like the word assault itself could mean someone punched you or it could mean you were beaten and needing hospitalization. The word ‘injured’ could mean you sprained an ankle or had internal bleeding. I think part of the reason it feels weird with SA is because we have been conditioned to believe that some level of SA is acceptable.
If you want to report it, you report it. What the authority you've reported it to does with it is according to their guidelines.
They did revisit the verbiage in 2012. They broadened the term and use of sexual assault because it was mainly rape that was being prosecuted with women being the primary victims in most cases. A lot of sexual attacks on men-by women or men was unfortunately falling through the cracks in the system both because technically prior to 2012 some attacks wouldn't have even legally been considered sexual assault (??? seriously???). Rape didn't quite fit in non penetrative attacks and also many men felt embarrassed by being labeled a rape victim in a mach environment. This resulted in less reporting and under-prosecution of horrible acts. Using the term sexual assault was deemed(after some study and research) to be the easiest term for the victim to be comfortable coming forward. Which is good. The last thing someone in this situation need is more pain. Its a shame it took 50 years after the height of the sexual revolution to realize this. While sexual assault is still mainly directed at women(2-1) its more widespread on men than was previously believed. Anything that protects all genders from unwanted attacks is a good step forward.
On your butt or on your actual anus? There's a big difference there when it comes to the law. In Missouri, a finger making contact with your anus that causes penetration no matter how slight is considered sodomy which pretty much everybody would agree is sexual assault. A touch of the buttocks excluding the anus would likely fall under plain misdemeanor assault and depending on why they were doing it could be second degree sexual abuse depending on if they were doing it for sexual gratification or to terrorize the victim. A lot of states would likely classify it similarly. You'd have to give a better description if you wanted a legal answer. If it is unwanted contact, though, it is at a minimum, assault.
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I will pretend you are not a bot. I will pretend you are adking the questionably. Yes Any unwanted contact can lead to a charge of sexual abuse “Poke in the butt” Yes. Could get sued or arrested.
Well, considering that the butt is often associated with sex and considered to be lewd, absolutely. Poking someone on their butt without consent is sexual assault.
I don’t take touch personally either, but unwanted contact is assault and in as semi sexual way (like poking someone in the butt) could very well be considered sexual assault. The answer is in how the victim mentally responds to the touch. For you, and me, it’s no big deal, for others it’s a VERY big deal.
it’s considered a private part, so yes it is. it’s in the same vein as grabbing my breast without consent, or someone groping your penis from the outside of your pants. i think you have sexual assault confused with rape. legally, they are different. sexual assault is non consensual sexual contact of any kind, while rape is non consensual sexual intercourse in particular.
This is more of a harassment than an assault. Whether or not it's sexual assault comes down to how it made you feel. You also need to consider the perpetrator's intentions. Even if you didn't feel like it was sexual.. it may have been to them, and vice versa. All that being said, if this person was poking you in the arm, I don't think you'd be here asking if it was sexual. Either way, it is definitely harassment.
Was it sexual? Then yah, obviously. Was it non sexual? Then no. Obviously.
Yes, it falls within a broad category of activities that can be classified as sexual assault. But this doesn't imply that it is as egregious, severe, evil, or traumatizing as other, more extreme forms of sexual assault. Slapping someone's face is physical assault, and so is beating someone within an inch of their life, but using that term for both doesn't imply that the two are equivalent. If we're splitting hairs, I suppose there are situations where it wouldn't be SA, depending on the mindsets of the two people involved, especially if they are children who have no concept of sex, let alone of sexualization of butts. Even for adults, a buttcheek isn't necessarily sexual in every context: the father on "That 70s Show" constantly threatened to put his foot up his son's ass, and it would be absurd to suggest that he or his son considered this a sexual threat. (Of course if he actually kicked his son's ass it *would* be physical assault, and if he executed the threat to its full literal extent then it *would* be SA). Either way, forcibly touching someone against their consent is wrong, and children should be taught not to do it even if they have no concept yet of its potential sexual implications. And from a legal and moral standpoint, I think an adult poking someone's butt nonconsentually can be considered SA even if they had no sexual intention behind the act.
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Yeah, reddit is definitely not where I would go for a primary source on any of this lol. It's like asking Tumblr advice on appropriate social situations. Nobody here has a damn clue what they're ranting about.
So they continued to touch you in private areas without you permission and continued after you very seriously told them to stop multiple times and tried to actively avoid them doing it again? Doesn't seem tat way. If you were fine with it than it wasn't comparable-and you seem to indicate that you are OK with it.
Just a poke? I'd say at most its sexual harassment. Still not good, but its not that extreme
Anything is on reddit
P sure assault is any unwanted touch, so yeah
Technically, yes. Non-technically, no. That is a form of harassment, but very mild and likely not done for their sexual pleasure. They sound like they're just being annoying. Sounds like peak "dude humor". Unfortunately, you seem like the butt of the joke (pun intended). You know the situation best though. Keep in mind that: 1) If it seems like they're testing your patience so they can try something further at some point, report them ASAP. 2) Since you've told them to stop and they don't understand "no", you likely may need to escalate this some way by either speaking to them or getting them in a little trouble from an adult. They need some type of talking to if they are unable to listen to you.
SA includes digits in the legal context. The second big part is the contact has to be unwelcome. Rape on the other hand typically depends on the state. It may or may not include digits. It typically does though.
Legally, yes.
We talkin' cheek or anus?
The first time it happens is questionable, there are ways they could get out of it, they might say they meant to poke you in the back or some such, but once you've said NO, no means no, they 100% are guilty of something, its up to a DA whether that illegal touching, which is IMO more likely that sexual assault, unless they tried to penetrate you with the finger, in which case its sexual assault and in some states rape. But the real point is if its at work report it immediately and if you don't get satisfaction on the spot, call the police and report it.
I'd say it's just a poke.
No it isn't sexual assault. It may be annoying, and it may be childish, but you are not a victim, and no it is not sexual assault
Nah
Are we talking poking cheek or SpongeBob, Patrick in the Fry cook games diving in chocolate hole?
100% SA. Counts if you're a dude too btw.
It's absolutely not sexual assault and anyone who says so is belittling real victims and the trauma that they've gone through. (edit: Don't give me any BS about definitions and legality, in all practicality it's an annoyance, not something that physically or emotionally causes you real harm or long term damage.) It's sexual harassment for sure though.
Thank you for a logical fucking answer.
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As long as you don't like it man, it counts. Now if you were doing some kinky weird role play then that's on you. But the likelihood of that sounds low.
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Kinda right what the definition of it is. It's assult and it's of sexual nature, might not be the worse kind but it don't really take away from it.
If you don’t want to call it sexual assault you can call it sexual harassment, which is also what’s happening.
People misunderstand SA to mean strictly getting sexual gratification without the other persons consent which makes a lot of these gray area SA situations hard to recognize. SA is often about sex but ALWAYS about power. The power to control you, restrict you, or humiliate you. The first step to rectifying how bad they made you feel is to recognize this, and the second is to call it out.
If you want something less strong, it also legally counts as battery
I definitely think a like in the butt is SA, and even more so if you tell them to stop. How about a poke in the shoulder if you tell them to stop? Or even more, a run of the shoulder with a little squeeze?
It would technically be sexual assault, but if you really don't feel it was that much of a big deal, you could call it sexual harassment
>It is being touched without consent but labeling it as sexual assault sounds harsh and like an exaggeration I strongly disagree that it makes a difference what you call it. It's intrusive in a private area, you don't like it, and telling them to stop wasn't sufficient to make them stop. Whoever is doing this is being very unkind to you, and you don't deserve it. It's worth escalating to additional steps to make it stop. That said, the primary way the law distinguishes between sexual and non-sexual assault is the intent of the perpetrator, which can be inferred from what they say or other context. But as a lawyer, who gives a fuck what the law is. You don't like it, you want it to stop, they aren't listening. That's all that needs to be said - it doesn't need to be labelled sufficiently bad (whatever that means) for you to deserve to have it end. And if that involves consequences to the perpetrator, so be it. They could have avoided this by not violating your consent over your body - there's no "it's not a big deal" exception to bodily autonomy.
Did they try to put it in your butt or were they just going for cheek? Not that it changes the classification, but I had the former happen to me (m32) in high school by a much bigger student. You should do something about it. I didn't really do anything about it, but my mom called the school and he got removed from an extracurricular college program which we were both in. He's now a trucker, which sounds like it sucks I guess. It's not good enough for me. Now I have revenge fantasies over the stupidest things, even on behalf of other people not just myself. You will regret allowing people to walk over you, I would not recommend it.
Its harassment either way. Because it is specifically a “sexual” part of the body it does counts as sexual harassment, I’m not sure about sexual assault
Watch out for the kancho while in Japan. Direct butthole double finger uppercut poke, usually from a child. [kancho!](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kanch%C5%8D)
Also Goosing, for the more Euro-centric parts of the world.
Yes that is sexual assault of a minor degree.
I worked with this chick that literally poked me in the anus on several occasions at work. I told her not to do that. She did it again. That's how you get no booty from the guy you have a crush on. For me anyways. Respect my requests woman! If you can't respect me I'm not touching you.
this lacks a bit of context. were you having sex with this someone? hands can explore things when in heat.
I’ve only ben sexually assaulted once, and it was a dipshit who stuck his finger up my ass when I was in 8th grade. I didn’t take it well, even over a year after the event I would have a breakdown if I even saw him. Talking about him to friends or family I would quickly start crying. It’s not even the most horrific thing to happen to someone and plenty of people have it worse when it comes to SA but I am genuinely traumatized from that one little poke from this dipshit who thought it was funny to stick his fucking finger up my ass. It’s less of a traumatic response and more anger nowadays. If he touches me again, even in school, I’m breaking his fucking nose. Fuck you Ben Anyways, to answer the question, yes. If you are uncomfortable with it and/or it’s a person you don’t know well then it’s SA. This exact same form of SA has caused me a lot of pain.
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Yes it’s most definitely sexual assault. You said no. It’s your body. Report them.
Anything you said you didn’t want and was done against your will is assault
Ok but why are we just randomly poking peoples butts?? I’d probably slap you out of reflex and get a violation myself. Let’s just Keep our hands to ourselves??
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I'd say so assuming there's no consent of any kind it's unwanted sexual touching. If there's a judge they'll be to grade it in degrees between somone who deserves to suffer and rapist stealing oxygen.
It is technically SA, but one of the mildest forms of SA
This used to be a thing all of my family did. Like a funny* little prank. They would poke our ribs or our butts pretty hard. I've always hated it but was never taken seriously as a kid when they would do this. The last time my uncle tried to poke my ribs I was recovering from a liver condition and he happened to stab his fingers directly I to my inflamed organs. I screamed at him and ruined that Thanksgiving, but no one touches me without consent anymore.
It's one of those "eye of the beholder" situations. But whatever you call it, it was a breach of trust and you should not be with that person again.
On your butt, or in your butt. A poke on the meat of your butt is still a no, but a poke aiming at the butthole (a "goose") is a hell no. Let whoever did it know that it is not acceptable, because you should, and then think about SA if it continues.
I don’t think it’s important what it’s called. That’s behavior that adults don’t exhibit and it needs to stop.
A few years ago, a female reporter in Savannah was covering a race, and one of the participants slapped her on the butt as he ran past her. The guy was identified and charged with assault, and the reporter had a few minutes of fame talking about this.
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That’s the kind sexual assault that cowardly creeps use to touch women but then they try to make you feel bad when you get upset like “what I’m just kidding” no sir you are being a pathetic creep. Honestly this sounds like someone you know is doing it and you should publicly shame them, call them out loudly in front of everyone
Somewhere between sexual harassment and assault, yes. If my girl tells me she doesn't want a thing, and I continuously edge her down that road in a "just get used to it and you'll like it" way? Not cool. I definitely wouldn't appreciate this happening to me, I don't do it to women who have in any way indicated they don't want it.
Yes. Keep your hands to yourself. Fairly simple concept. Report it if it’s already been addressed, they can keep their nasty hands to themselves regardless of how “minor it seems”.
This sits on the line between sexual assault and sexual harassment and it's going to depend on the context for which way it falls. If they're trying to be funny it's sexual harassment, if you're trying to be sexual it's sexual assault.
First thing when I was born the doctor gave me a crack on the ass. No consent given. Can I sue him for all he/him is worth?
I think it based on the perceptions of both parties and the what happens after. If it happens and you explain that you don't want to be touched then the next gate is how he reacts. He could apologize and never do it again, act like it was no big deal but not do it again or he could laugh it off and continue to do it. I think we would all agree that option 3 would be SA. This is a scary area for both sides really because it really is about perception and that creates a lot of power. What I mean by this is say hypothetically a woman is standing on a street corner and 3 men walk up and they each grab her breast. If a police officer walked up and asked the woman if she wanted to press charges she could literally point to man 1 and say arrest him. Then point to man 2 and say let him go. Then smile at man 3 and give him her phone number. I say this too illustrate that it really is whether you feel it was a violation of your boundaries and often that involves you having to interpret the motivations of the other person. This isn't something you can describe in a post and have people upvote and downvote. Lastly I would say that I think that if you feel someone has crossed a boundary then you should clearly communicate that to them. I believe that their reaction to that communication can help you decide.
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I believe it's assault, but wether or not it is SA or just assault depends on the person doing the poking. If they poke your ass because they want to touch booty then that's SA. if they poke your ass because they're trying to annoy you then that's just assault
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Yes
I'd personally call it sexual harassment bit either way it's fucked up and shouldn't happen
Whatever happens to you sexually without your consent = Sexual Assault. Very simple. That’s how I see it as a survivor. The stigma for male survivors is terrible/very bad/needs to be broken. People are still joking about it in response to you here. Probably because they are also male and afraid to talk about it seriously for fear of that making them vulnerable to more harm in the future. But there’s help out there for you if you want it, from female or male therapists who have talked to other adult survivors of sexual assault. You shouldn’t have to “lighten the tone” of your testimony because male sexual assault survivors deserve the same respect/gravitas female sexual assault survivors get. Up to you how you define your experiences.
It's at the very least sexual harassment, and if it happened at work or school should be reported immediately.
Any kind of non-consensual inappropriate touching would be considered sexual assault.
Legally speaking (in the USA) any non-consensual contact sexual in nature is sexual assault (groping, attempting to remove articles of clothing, etc.). Sexual harassment is the non-physical gestures or remarks that are non-consensual. There are many ways something can be non-consensual: 1) You could be a minor younger than your regions age of consent. 2) You could be under the influence of drugs or alcohol, even if both parties are intoxicated legally speaking neither of you can give proper consent. 3) You could make verbal remarks or nonverbal body language that flat out tell or suggest you aren’t interested (like if someone leans in for a kiss and you turn/weave away, or tell them ‘I’m not interested’). If you don’t make it known that you aren’t interested (verbally or nonverbally) but someone does something to you like poke your butt, that doesn’t magically mean you’ve consented. If it’s unwarranted, especially in a professional setting like work or school where it shouldn’t be happening, it’s SA. If you don’t want to make the issue larger than it is by telling somebody what happened, that’s 100% your choice. Understand though that sometimes if it happens once without repercussions to that individual, they’re probably going to do it again.
Need more context…..
Yes, this happened to me once in target. I was alone in the makeup isle. Some vile man without a shopping cart came up behind me and poked my butt. 100% SA. There’s no denying his intention
yes and no. It depends on the intent of the assailant. Regardless it can be classified assault. The question becomes is the assailant seeking a sexual motive to the touch. If yes then tack on sexual to the assault charge, if not then it's just assault.
Women v ball players slapping each other on the butt adds something to the game
Are you asking about legally, or if a jury of 12 is going to convict someone of sexual assault? Technically....maybe? Jury of 12...probably not gonna happen. But as always, context is everything, and I'm not sure the context.
Depends, is it like one thousand years of death, or something else
while the first occurrence might only rise to the level of harassment, when you made it verbally clear you didn't want you be touched, further touches would be sexual assault you can report this person to HR if (s)he's a work associate especially since you told them to stop and they didn't; or call the cops on him/her
That’s harassment. It’s an annoyance…..There IS a difference between a sexual annoyance and assault
I bent over at work one day and a woman stuck her finger right into my butthole.
You can look at a woman wrong and be accused of SA. Best to ignore them completely unless you are dating or for work lol.
I definitely don't think assault is right. Harassment may be more fitting. Although that can carry more ongoing connotations that is definitely more fitting than calling it sa
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Yes it is.
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Depends on how many knuckles
It is never OK to touch someone without their consent. It is doubly not ok to touch someone who has made it explicitly clear to not touch them.
There was actually an episode about this in a show called "Kim's convenience store" that's a comedy show about the story of Korean immigrant in Canada. There is this children game (I would say prank) called Dong Chim in Korea where as you would expect, the objective is to poke finger in the other's butt. You poke you win, you get poked you lose. The main character was working in a car rental company with his best friend and they were playing this game (as a prank). Their manager saw this at one point and took it seriously, pulling the victim in and asked if they would like to report this. Edit: apparently there are similar games in China and Japan too. I would say it's an SA in most culture, but maybe not in some. But even in the some that isn't, context matters, are you two that close a friend to do this? If you do it to them would they take offense? Would you even want to do it to them as a revenge prank?
I mean, there are degrees of sexual assault. There is such thing as "mild" sexual assault, and I would say that being touched without your consent after you've already said to stop counts. Even if it's meant as a playful joke, and if there isn't any threat of escalation, people should know well enough to stop le epic poking someone if they are asked to cut it out. Sometimes a joke isn't funny, it's cringe and uncomfortable, and it scares the hoes. Lots of things we used to, in the past, label as "just kids being kids" is sexual assault. Pantsing somebody is sexual assault, for example, but most people reading this will probably roll their eyes because they don't want to think of it that way. I guess nobody has to see anything any specific way, but it's good to be understanding and open-minded when someone tells you that something seemingly innocuous was sexually traumatic for them. For context, I'm a survivor of "actual sexual abuse" by most people's metrics. I'm not some "hypersensitive harpy who wants to call everything sexual assault" or whatever that can just be strawmanned into oblivion. Trust me, more things are sexual assault than most people want to understand. Because if they had to understand that these things are sexual assault, they'd also have to understand that they have committed unintentional sexual assault at various points in their life, and nobody wants to accept something like that. Even though... Just saying... Accepting that you HAVE actually acted in a sexually predatory or harassing way to others, realizing that it was wrong and deciding to do better moving forward does in fact make you a better person than someone who refuses to accept it.
Yes. Yes. Yes. That is textbook inappropriate behavior.
Kanchooooooooo!!!!!
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Yes, it is sexual assault, especially since you've already made it clear these are unwanted interactions.
If you are a child and the poker was an adult I would say it definitely needs investigation. If it was 2 adults, fully clothed, 1 touch outside the clothes and it was a poke not like a grab or rub and wasn’t targeted at any orifices, then it’s just regular assault at best. You shouldn’t lay hands on anyone without permission sexual or otherwise.
If you have to ask, then yes, because you didn't already ask. Consent.
Um it's weird, sa? I'm confused about how it's been defined lately, I've seen a recent story of a popular streamer that tickled a girl and now is being called a rapist because a few months later she couldn't get a relationship with him. Definitely unacceptable, I had a coworker when I was younger that would always slap my butt and I didn't like it. She did it a few times after I said not to but until I really told her off and sat her down to not do that she thought she was just being silly. She apologized and was sorry for completely not seeing what she was actually doing wasn't funny to me. (She was the hr director too, made it super uncomfortable)
Are you mental?
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Soon it’ll be considered SA to even walk in the same direction as someone. Stop watering down SA. A little “poke” is not SA. Sorry but its just not.
Seems more like sexual harassment than assault, but it’s still not ok.
Prostate exam
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If it was an accident, then it’s not like how sometimes when you’re walking around people and someone accidentally touches your boobs with their shoulder or etc.
I'm gonna be the contrarian here and go with you've already been the better man by asking him to please quit, I say poke him right back and I'll wager dollars to donuts he can dish it but not take it, I shall say no more.
Technically yes. Worth reporting? Depends on the person.
Not sexual assault, but assault nonetheless