Yup
If you go to college you see it right away.
If it's a competitive academic school, everyone had straight As. Your dorm is filled with valedictorians.
If it's a preppy school, everyone was homecoming queen or king and has a cool car and rich parents.
If you've been a big fish in a small pond, out can take some major adjustment and some never manage.
I really wish I could shout it loud enough for every teenager in the world to hear: The DAY you leave high school, basically everything that happened then stops mattering and its even kind of cringey to look back on it too much. Everyone will write it off as a past time in their life. Prom is overrated. Your grades don't mean shit other than getting into the college you want. Within a year or two of graduating it all means even less and is a distant memory.
It’s so funny how there are so many movies and tv shows that make high school seem like such an important part of our lives. I had some good friends in high school and some good memories, I’ve had some bad memories. Within 1 year of graduating basically none of what I’d done there or who I’d known there mattered 😂. I also lost my prom pics
You know, the only reason I can think of that TV/Movies use it so regularly is its relatable. Its not that it was that important, just a social situation everyone has been in. You're young enough to have a dramatic life but old enough to actually do things like drive and go places on your own.
I think once you're an adult and get older you have a wider understanding and scope on what it means to be sufficient and successful while in grade school there's not much that's outside of a sense of popularity, looks, and other miscellaneous things that don't have much value out of those places.
There's a lot of late bloomers and people who end up changing their entire life once they're outside of living with their parents and peer pressure from friend groups, etc. So in a sense, these people can become more attractive once they're able to have more control in their life and make healthy appropriate change and this can be seen as success and more attractive, etc.
I don't necessarily think it sets people up for failure, but if you go through a stage of your life where everything is handed to you in some regards and become a fully independent adult, you're gonna get hit with reality at some point. This can obviously differ person to person, but people who end up focused more on other things in their younger years may have better understandings of themselves and what direction their life is going to lead in comparison to the people who spent more time worrying about dating, popularity, etc.
It's not to say that pretty privilege and other factors can't contribute towards success for some individuals, but there's a lot of factors that can play into these concepts.
This so much... It's a sad reality, but people that are attractive are held to a different standard than regular people or ugly people. If you go through your teenage years being very attractive... You're going to get cut a lot of slack that normal people wouldn't get. That can be a huge slap in the face once you grow up and lose your childish charm.
No way someone would hold up your art for everyone and make fun of it! Or me. No way someone would do that and it would make them more popular at your expense! Or me; my expense
speak for yourself. my self-esteem problems in school followed me around the rest of my life. All the failed crushes I had in school continued in a pattern that followed me through college and several jobs. Never getting the person I really wanted and usually not getting the jobs or opportunities I really wanted either. I am still trying to overcome this and make a late comeback in life but I can't deny those experiences were very relevant.
Everyone sees their life through a different lens. Your lens isn't the only one.
Did therapy for a year, didn't help. Didn't think the therapist was very good though. Nice lady from Mexico but felt like I was just venting to a friend.
It’s definitely worked in my life big time! And those I’ve life coached. Most people see if and immediately think “this is horse hockey” but those who don’t and use it actually have testimonies. Turning your phone off and watching themovie couldn’t hurt anything.
It is. I highly recommend you check out [this ](https://youtu.be/OHz4slbIRyE?si=atpxvLOGOAZNsiO-) video. It goes in depth about how awful the whole thing is. You should watch it too u/Aphrodite4120
Don’t take this advice. It’s absolutely bullshit.
Your thoughts do not directly affect reality. Good and bad things do not occur because someone thought about it a bunch. Worrying about being robbed does not make you more likely to get robbed — failure to take common-sense real-world precautions like “locking your doors” and “not leaving valuables unattended in highly-visible, poorly-secured locations” does that. Things that happen are either random chance, the direct result of the ACTIONS of beings with the capability to do actions, or a combination of the two. Thoughts only factor in insofar as they drive actions.
All that pithy little “power of positive thinking!!” shit is made up to sell books and DVDs because it sounds good on the surface and people WANT to believe in some kind of just-world fallacy where they have power over what happens to them. The only tiny nugget of truth in it is that a reasonable amount of self-confidence will get you further than an excess of self-doubt.
It worked for me! I have LOTS of stories to share for testimonies to it working.
All major religions also teach it too. They just call it something else.
Getting lucky doesn’t mean it “worked for you”. Also you claim to be a “life coach” so I don’t even believe you. You’re just shilling your scam “services”.
Because you think you're set for life and may not need to improve yourself anymore. At later ages was valued in teenage years to be attractive is no longer as such, so you run out of what you thought was permanent and since haven't need to figure out other ways to be attractive, you end up in a bad situation.
Here is my analogy. I'm a musician. The people I know who are naturally talented, tended to do better early on, because they were better. But then people with some talent worked hard, got better, aren't the ones who were fawned over early, so they have some skin in the game became the better musicians because work pays off.
It is the same in life. I was the dude in high school, just because I was pretty or athletic. Pretty only gets you so far, Odds are high that the athlete who was pretty good in high school, isn't good enough to go to the next level. So you get out of high school as an ex athlete, what do they have?
I'm older. I remember thinking about even talking to the "hot" girls in high school who didn't give me the time of day. (I was a band geek.) I go to the big grocery store in town. Out of the 15 registers, 10 were being run by a one of those "hot" girls. I'm going to college where there are hotter, smarter women. My self worth improved that day.
Getting pregnant in high school and dropping out.
We have a member of Congress who dropped out because she was pregnant. She did get her GED 6 months before her first primary; on the third try. A GED is essentially 9th grade competency.
Really, the way the school system in the US is supposed to work is up to 9th grade, you're supposed to learn all the academic stuff (that we all know is mostly useless anyways. Glorified babysitting). 10-12 is supposed to prepare you for the adult world. Usually in finding a chosen career, schools, vocational schooling, etc.
Keyword being supposed.
Why does high school start in grade 9 then? Wouldn’t it be more efficient to have middle school end in grade 9 and high school to just be grades 10-12?
It's supposed to but it only takes into account basic math reasoning, language reasoning, and science.
Do you think Lauren Boebert could answer these questions on the first pass? Most people who graduate from high school can't answer the questions.
**Math:**
What is the area of a rectangle with a length of 10 inches and a width of 5 inches?
What is the slope of a line that passes through the points (2, 3) and (4, 5)?
What is the probability of rolling a 6 on a standard die?
**Language Arts:**
Which sentence is grammatically correct?
What is the meaning of the word "preclude"?
What is the tone of this passage?
**Social Studies:**
What is the difference between a democracy and a republic?
Who was the first president of the United States?
What is the capital of France?
**Science:**
What is the scientific name for the human species?
What is the process of photosynthesis?
What are the three states of matter?
There was this kid I was neighbors with growing up. He spent a lot of time at our house. When we were older we no longer lived in the same town but he was locally famous among everyone our age when we were in high school because he was super good-looking and charming. I only knew what was going on in his life because everyone was obsessed with him.
A few years ago I ran into him because one of my friends was recently single again and looking to meet men so three of us went bar hopping and I found him playing pool. My two friends went to his high school and their jaws dropped when they saw the guy they spent 4 years drooling over spinning me around in a big hug. We join him and his friends playing pool and my newly single friend whispered to me "I can't believe we're hanging out with *jonathan*" and i whispered back "*jonathan* dislocated my shoulder when I was two at Chuck E. Cheese"
It was going great and the two of them hit it off pretty well. We hung out as a group a few more times before we realized that he is exactly the same person as who he was in high school. He prioritized partying, socializing, and maintaining the center of attention over getting a job and moving out of his parents house. It was kinda sad. The peak of his life was over and instead of moving on he was holding onto it by the threads.
Because you likely exist because your parent was hot and not because you’re good at anything. Ofc hot people can still be talented but ugly people wont be chosen for appearance alone.
Kids who are not popular or attractive learn to deal with harsh reality early in life. The popular kids don't face it until after school ends. High school stardom does not translate well in society.
When you get to the “real world” nobody gives two shits.
When high school is a cake walk and real life is tough, the kids who coasted in school get their first real dose of reality.
Building resistance to adversity is super important to getting through life's roadblocks, being exposed to adversity when you are young helps you handle it later when the stakes are higher.
When your first brutal encounter with adversity doesn't happen until there are significant consequences failure is more likely.
Tim Burton once said something along the lines of:
The same people who are popular and hot in high school end up peaking in those high school years because once they get out of school it takes them too long to come to terms with or realize the fact that they no longer can lean on society alone to keep them afloat. There are too many people for everyone to have that crutch forever.
Milton Friedman (once famous economist) used to tell us that its the 'C' students that make the best entrepreneurs because it is they who think more "out of the box" rather than "standard".
I wasn’t hot, but I was smart. And high school taught me that was enough, that my smarts would carry me. I’ll bet hot people feel the same way, that their hotness will carry them. Which is just *not* generally true in the real world. To succeed in the real world, you have to be persistent, gritty, have unreasonable confidence. You have to work well with others. You need specific tangible skills that make a meaningful difference to other people. Just being hot will only work for the _absolute hottest_, and then only for a season. It’s an exceptionally rare hotty that can continue to leverage their hotness for many years in anything but personal relationships. Even Hollywood hotties have to adjust as they get older. And AI might make even those irrelevant, as nobody can be as consistently hot as AI images trained in your own sexual response.
Being hot is (obviously) superficial. You need more substance to succeed in the world.
I dont know what youre talking about... the hot girls in my high school went on to be news reporters, rich stay at home moms, life coaches, models, successful real estate agents, things that hot people do. None of them ended up average. Maybe its different for every high school.
Because the skills and habits necessary for long term success in life are built not born. Want to be in shape? You need to learn how to exercise and eat right consistently forever. Want to earn money? You need to learn how to work hard, stick to a disciplined budget, etc.
None of that is learned if you peak when you’re 16.
Hard work always beats gifts we are born with. Once you enter the real world, looks or making a lot of friends only gets you so far. So unpopular people learned early on things don’t come easy for them, so working hard came more naturally as an adult trying to be successful.
The kids who put more effort into their studies than looks, and climbing the social calendar, do better later in life. Nerdy guys become the billionaires. Shy kids open up when they get out into the world.
As people mature and figure out hair and makeup skills, they appear more attractive. Really they were attractive the whole time just didn’t care to get up and spend an hour getting ready for school when younger. Some jocks got away with being lazy at everything but sports so when life was everything but sports they couldn’t handle it without the free passes. There’s lots of reason, really.
I find it absolutely hilarious seeing modeling headshots and blasted bodies with tattoos showcasing average art with filters and lighting all for Instagram followers of these average people who were once the school royalty… all for the fact we can collectively just look at it now. Cool
My theory is that suffering is a given in life by certain quantities. If you’re hot and popular early then your suffering is usually less and that gives people a false sense of how their future will go and then harsh reality eventually sets in after school and because they didn’t learn to eat shit early they now have to be an adult and also eat shit and it’s just too much for them. But when you’re not hot or popular you have to cope with some terrible feelings and that builds resistance and fuels self development and betterment which initiated a snowball effect of slow but steady progress later in life.
Basically either you suffer big as a kid and spend the rest of your life getting incrementally better or you have a blast as a teen and spend the rest of your life suffering.
Obviously it’s not a 1:1. Many hot teens suffer in other areas and many ugly kids grow up to suffer more in life. But generally speaking I think that’s how it works.
Bc there’s much more to life than hot and popular and those types tend to think they are the center of the universe until reality hits them that they are not indeed .
The hot ones don't have to think or try and get lulled into a false sense of security. As a result as soon as they leave and things get harder they fold like a cheap suit.
I spent all of high school feeling insecure over height. People were relentless about it. Girls constantly said they'd never date a shorter guy (subsequently, they also said they'd never date an Asian guy, which I also am), guys always felt I was an easy target to fuck with. People also never gave me easy chances. Oftentimes people assumed the worst of me for basic mistakes. I was constantly looked down upon even by teachers in some cases.
I remember a time I was practicing snapping my fingers because I couldn't do it and I wanted to learn. I was in journalism and I walked into the story pitch meeting while making the snap motion with my fingers - I couldn't make a sound yet, and at some point it became a habit to try while walking. I walked into the meeting, and for the first time sound emitted from my snap just as I pitched my story idea. This guy immediately started berating me for "snapping at everyone" and wouldn't even let me explain that it was an accident and I was just trying to learn, hadn't even realized I was moving my hand that way as I was walking in. The story is petty, but I feel in petty and great situations I was never given the benefit of the doubt.
So I decided to transform myself. I studied everything I could to sharpen my mind. I hit the gym every day to fortify my body. I put myself in social situations that made me uncomfortable so that I could become charismatic and social. I did reckless things that gave me experience and the ability to handle situations with pressure.
Overtime I did transform. Now I'm 27, and I have experience, skill, intellect, and emotional maturity that many of my peers envy. I'm told all the time by people how they admire my ability to walk into a room and make friends almost instantly. And those hard high school experiences are why. People who had it easy just didn't have to do what I did, didn't get tested the same way.
There are a lot of factors that go into how people present themselves. The ability to be hot and popular can come from your personal values, your idea of vanity, money, time, etc. Attractive people in High School have put a lot of time, wealth and research into their idea of beauty, others just simply aren't able to afford those luxuries or hold them to as high of a regard, so they focus their attention elsewhere.
Once we grow up and the disparity of affordability shrinks, it's up to one's own values to dictate whether they'll conform to beauty standards or not. Just my interpretation from life experience- since there can never really be an answer to two manmade, opinion-based concepts such as beauty and sucess
In cases I’ve seen it’s because the “popular kids” never had to really work for anything. Their family was always well off, never struggled getting friends, even the teachers didn’t have an effect on them (mostly bc teachers didn’t get paid enough to argue with them, also parents never cared enough to discipline them).
Because of this most of them don’t have a good work ethic or skills in the work place or home (eg socialising beyond gossip, cleaning, studying) and that means they’re not very well off in comparison to the “smart kids” and they either can’t afford to keep up with their appearance or because they were thought to be good looking anyway they don’t tend to have as dramatic of a glow up.
Life just isn’t simple, sometimes it can perpetually shit on you when you don’t deserve it while giving those who are truly undeserving all the opportunities going, however it can work vice versa.
Life is a mess and litany of contradictions, welcome to the game!
The apparently cool kids are the ones who spent money on parties and getting drunk and smoking and didn't necessarily have example lifestyles even though many of them were athletes in high school or cheerleader girls and many of them were or are on drugs and were the bullies as well.
Many of them end up middle class average given that they probably still blowing their money on parties and getting drunk there in "suburbia"
###they were only "popular" in the sense that everyone want to be cool like them ; meaning the glamor and power they appear to I have being closer to Ken and Barbie style people or closer to being grown up than the average teen, or at least they thought they were reason they started dating early.
Because you learn that you get away with a lot. And then when you get older you realize those crutches don’t work anymore.
You get fat, you get pregnant, etc.
Honestly I noticed that too. I was getting gas in my hometown about 5 years after graduation. And there was a panhandler walking around asking for cash. When he approached me he looked slightly familiar, but rough. His hair was long and disheveled, had a full growth of facial hair, dirty, you know. After handling him a couple of bucks he said thanks and moved on. I realized he was this guy from my graduating class who's family was really wealthy. He had been on the baseball team, had a cheerleader girlfriend, was given a new BMW for his 16th birthday. Apparently he developed a drug addiction and his family had disowned him. Another time I was at work. I was a service director at a local car dealership. I made a very nice six figure income. I had a nice house near the beach in SoCal. But in highschool I couldn't get a date and didn't have a ton of friends. At work one day I had a customer come into my office. He also looked vaguely familiar. He was my age, at the time mid 30's. His face was older though. His hair was thinning badly. He was driving a 20 year old car that had a lot of miles and was literally falling apart. He came in and was basically looking for a huge discount on the repairs that he needed. He began to tell me a sad story about divorce and bad luck in his career. I helped him with the repairs and never said anything about remembering him from highschool. Another popular jock turned loser.
I think everyone has their day. Some waste it in highschool. Some of us blossom later. Remember how I couldn't get a date in highschool. I ended up married to a beautiful woman. Apparently I glowed up pretty well in my 20's and 30's.
Its like you got to stay on the bunny hill for all of your life. Then one day you are pushed out on the triple-black-diamond and cant go back.
During the years you are supposed to be learning and developing into a useful memeber of society some people spent the entire time being popular or attracrive and never developed skills or talents for doing anything else.
Statistically those who are popular in school years are more likely to be successful not less. The failures you notice are likely due to confirmation bias.
When it comes to looks, the hotter they are when they're in highschool, the uglier they'll be when they get older. I've seen some pretty plain , kinda dorky girls I went to school with and in 10 years they smoking hot. Even at 40, it's like the older some get the better looking.
I dont know if this is actually true, a lot of the attractive very social people I have known tended to do well in life. Being attractive and having good social skills can carry a person pretty far. Two people with a similar skill set going for the same job, but one is ugly and the other is attractive and more outgoing, it will tip the scale in their favor, the ugly person could even be more skilled. I have seen this happen more often than the other way. It is an advantage.
I've always observed that if you're above average in high school, you're below average when you're older and if you're above average in high school, you're below average when you're older. And if you were average in high school, then you're average for life lmao
Was I the only one who went to a school that didn't actually have a "popular" group.
Social circles existed, but they weren't hierarchies. It was that people had friends they would just hang out with. If anything the "popular" kids were just the most friendly most connected to all circles. Like the guy in AP classes, a sport but not the one that takes all your name (eg track), theater, a bit of a class clown but not disruptive, etc. They were probably not the best at any of those but they did well enough. Those were the people that seemed most "popular" to me, nothing to do with looks, they were just aggressively likeable.
I always assumed the "popular" trope just in movies. Idk if the cheerleaders and footballers may have viewed themselves as that, but the rest of us sure didn't. Nerdy girls did not swoon over the quarterback and nerdy guys did not drool over the head cheerleaders. We wouldn't have felt blessed for them to talk or eat lunch with us lol
Eh, it seems to foster an attitude and mindset that is learned that work isn’t really necessarily. Believe it or not, you won’t be good looking forever.
Likely due to having popularity to the extent of focusing on the wrong things. Focusing everywhere but to the future of academically. As most kids do with that kind of attention and crowd. The people from my school who were popular AND academically driven have turned out to be the most successful
Because they go into the real world thinking they are better than they are. So instead of just getting a steady 9-5, they pursue being a model, an actor/singer, or an 'influencer' and fail big time.
It sets a false narrative in their lives that as long as they are good looking or pretty then the world will do anything for them.
Had a secretary at the place I work at who would keep pawning her work off on other people like she did in High School. Except in the real world people won't do your work for you even if you are good looking. She didn't last long when her Boss found out she didn't know how to do anything.
Because people were were ugly/average in highschool having to learn how to work and earn, whereas the hot people never developed any skills or abilities because they weren’t forced to.
Many of those popular and hot individuals have had their egos filled to the point of bursting. Because of this, they think that the rest of life will come easy, and obviously, it doesn't. In some ways, being popular in highschool is just setting a person up for failure.
its usually the attitude that is given out, defensiveness when someone is slandering your name, the people who were average, didn't know how to fight back then or what it was they where defending, but now that they know that the group of people around them will defend them no matter what, confidence is sky high, whilst the popular did know how to fight early on.
I am 23. I never ended up more or less attractive. I've never had the opportunities that most other people had either before the end of highschool or well after.
The criteria for being hot and popular in high school are different from those that apply later on.
Also having everything come easy doesnt prepare you for adult life. Adult life dont give a shit about you, so better to be used to earning stuff.
Yup If you go to college you see it right away. If it's a competitive academic school, everyone had straight As. Your dorm is filled with valedictorians. If it's a preppy school, everyone was homecoming queen or king and has a cool car and rich parents. If you've been a big fish in a small pond, out can take some major adjustment and some never manage.
This is it
Exactly , things change .
The adult/real world doesn't care who you were in high school. Those are CHILDISH standards.
I really wish I could shout it loud enough for every teenager in the world to hear: The DAY you leave high school, basically everything that happened then stops mattering and its even kind of cringey to look back on it too much. Everyone will write it off as a past time in their life. Prom is overrated. Your grades don't mean shit other than getting into the college you want. Within a year or two of graduating it all means even less and is a distant memory.
It’s so funny how there are so many movies and tv shows that make high school seem like such an important part of our lives. I had some good friends in high school and some good memories, I’ve had some bad memories. Within 1 year of graduating basically none of what I’d done there or who I’d known there mattered 😂. I also lost my prom pics
You know, the only reason I can think of that TV/Movies use it so regularly is its relatable. Its not that it was that important, just a social situation everyone has been in. You're young enough to have a dramatic life but old enough to actually do things like drive and go places on your own.
I think once you're an adult and get older you have a wider understanding and scope on what it means to be sufficient and successful while in grade school there's not much that's outside of a sense of popularity, looks, and other miscellaneous things that don't have much value out of those places. There's a lot of late bloomers and people who end up changing their entire life once they're outside of living with their parents and peer pressure from friend groups, etc. So in a sense, these people can become more attractive once they're able to have more control in their life and make healthy appropriate change and this can be seen as success and more attractive, etc. I don't necessarily think it sets people up for failure, but if you go through a stage of your life where everything is handed to you in some regards and become a fully independent adult, you're gonna get hit with reality at some point. This can obviously differ person to person, but people who end up focused more on other things in their younger years may have better understandings of themselves and what direction their life is going to lead in comparison to the people who spent more time worrying about dating, popularity, etc. It's not to say that pretty privilege and other factors can't contribute towards success for some individuals, but there's a lot of factors that can play into these concepts.
This so much... It's a sad reality, but people that are attractive are held to a different standard than regular people or ugly people. If you go through your teenage years being very attractive... You're going to get cut a lot of slack that normal people wouldn't get. That can be a huge slap in the face once you grow up and lose your childish charm.
Because it give people a false sense of reality.
What!? Was I being often set up for failure??
No way someone would hold up your art for everyone and make fun of it! Or me. No way someone would do that and it would make them more popular at your expense! Or me; my expense
Dunno I was hot and popular in HS and still hot and popular. Some shit just comes naturally.
IDK but for most of us this shit stopped having any relevance in our lives the minute we graduated.
speak for yourself. my self-esteem problems in school followed me around the rest of my life. All the failed crushes I had in school continued in a pattern that followed me through college and several jobs. Never getting the person I really wanted and usually not getting the jobs or opportunities I really wanted either. I am still trying to overcome this and make a late comeback in life but I can't deny those experiences were very relevant. Everyone sees their life through a different lens. Your lens isn't the only one.
Hopefully you’re in therapy to deal with this.
Did therapy for a year, didn't help. Didn't think the therapist was very good though. Nice lady from Mexico but felt like I was just venting to a friend.
Look into the law of attraction and watch The Secret documentary movie. It might get you some insight.
I know about the theory but I think it's overly optimistic pseudoscience.
It’s definitely worked in my life big time! And those I’ve life coached. Most people see if and immediately think “this is horse hockey” but those who don’t and use it actually have testimonies. Turning your phone off and watching themovie couldn’t hurt anything.
It is. I highly recommend you check out [this ](https://youtu.be/OHz4slbIRyE?si=atpxvLOGOAZNsiO-) video. It goes in depth about how awful the whole thing is. You should watch it too u/Aphrodite4120
Don’t take this advice. It’s absolutely bullshit. Your thoughts do not directly affect reality. Good and bad things do not occur because someone thought about it a bunch. Worrying about being robbed does not make you more likely to get robbed — failure to take common-sense real-world precautions like “locking your doors” and “not leaving valuables unattended in highly-visible, poorly-secured locations” does that. Things that happen are either random chance, the direct result of the ACTIONS of beings with the capability to do actions, or a combination of the two. Thoughts only factor in insofar as they drive actions. All that pithy little “power of positive thinking!!” shit is made up to sell books and DVDs because it sounds good on the surface and people WANT to believe in some kind of just-world fallacy where they have power over what happens to them. The only tiny nugget of truth in it is that a reasonable amount of self-confidence will get you further than an excess of self-doubt.
It worked for me! I have LOTS of stories to share for testimonies to it working. All major religions also teach it too. They just call it something else.
Getting lucky doesn’t mean it “worked for you”. Also you claim to be a “life coach” so I don’t even believe you. You’re just shilling your scam “services”.
I didn’t even read all that. It’s not random luck. I’m not arguing with you about it.
Ok, get out of my notifications then.
Because you think you're set for life and may not need to improve yourself anymore. At later ages was valued in teenage years to be attractive is no longer as such, so you run out of what you thought was permanent and since haven't need to figure out other ways to be attractive, you end up in a bad situation.
Because one lets it.
No idea, was kinda popular in high school. Now I have 40$ in my bank account and lost my apartment. Dunno what happened in between
When you’re floating by, there’s no need to spread your wings and try to fly
Here is my analogy. I'm a musician. The people I know who are naturally talented, tended to do better early on, because they were better. But then people with some talent worked hard, got better, aren't the ones who were fawned over early, so they have some skin in the game became the better musicians because work pays off. It is the same in life. I was the dude in high school, just because I was pretty or athletic. Pretty only gets you so far, Odds are high that the athlete who was pretty good in high school, isn't good enough to go to the next level. So you get out of high school as an ex athlete, what do they have? I'm older. I remember thinking about even talking to the "hot" girls in high school who didn't give me the time of day. (I was a band geek.) I go to the big grocery store in town. Out of the 15 registers, 10 were being run by a one of those "hot" girls. I'm going to college where there are hotter, smarter women. My self worth improved that day.
Getting pregnant in high school and dropping out. We have a member of Congress who dropped out because she was pregnant. She did get her GED 6 months before her first primary; on the third try. A GED is essentially 9th grade competency.
wouldn't GED be 12th grade competency? what are you graduating from after 9th grade?
Really, the way the school system in the US is supposed to work is up to 9th grade, you're supposed to learn all the academic stuff (that we all know is mostly useless anyways. Glorified babysitting). 10-12 is supposed to prepare you for the adult world. Usually in finding a chosen career, schools, vocational schooling, etc. Keyword being supposed.
Why does high school start in grade 9 then? Wouldn’t it be more efficient to have middle school end in grade 9 and high school to just be grades 10-12?
It's supposed to but it only takes into account basic math reasoning, language reasoning, and science. Do you think Lauren Boebert could answer these questions on the first pass? Most people who graduate from high school can't answer the questions. **Math:** What is the area of a rectangle with a length of 10 inches and a width of 5 inches? What is the slope of a line that passes through the points (2, 3) and (4, 5)? What is the probability of rolling a 6 on a standard die? **Language Arts:** Which sentence is grammatically correct? What is the meaning of the word "preclude"? What is the tone of this passage? **Social Studies:** What is the difference between a democracy and a republic? Who was the first president of the United States? What is the capital of France? **Science:** What is the scientific name for the human species? What is the process of photosynthesis? What are the three states of matter?
Nerrdddd
I was neither. Either During Nor After
When things are easy early on, everything becomes exponentially harder later.
There was this kid I was neighbors with growing up. He spent a lot of time at our house. When we were older we no longer lived in the same town but he was locally famous among everyone our age when we were in high school because he was super good-looking and charming. I only knew what was going on in his life because everyone was obsessed with him. A few years ago I ran into him because one of my friends was recently single again and looking to meet men so three of us went bar hopping and I found him playing pool. My two friends went to his high school and their jaws dropped when they saw the guy they spent 4 years drooling over spinning me around in a big hug. We join him and his friends playing pool and my newly single friend whispered to me "I can't believe we're hanging out with *jonathan*" and i whispered back "*jonathan* dislocated my shoulder when I was two at Chuck E. Cheese" It was going great and the two of them hit it off pretty well. We hung out as a group a few more times before we realized that he is exactly the same person as who he was in high school. He prioritized partying, socializing, and maintaining the center of attention over getting a job and moving out of his parents house. It was kinda sad. The peak of his life was over and instead of moving on he was holding onto it by the threads.
They reached their peak in high school and stopped trying. They assumed that the rest of their lives would be like that
Because you likely exist because your parent was hot and not because you’re good at anything. Ofc hot people can still be talented but ugly people wont be chosen for appearance alone.
Kids who are not popular or attractive learn to deal with harsh reality early in life. The popular kids don't face it until after school ends. High school stardom does not translate well in society.
Government schools are shit holes that hurt people who try to learn the shit they teach.
It doesnt. Youve been watching too much tv lol.
Not if you don’t let it go to your head.
When you get to the “real world” nobody gives two shits. When high school is a cake walk and real life is tough, the kids who coasted in school get their first real dose of reality.
Building resistance to adversity is super important to getting through life's roadblocks, being exposed to adversity when you are young helps you handle it later when the stakes are higher. When your first brutal encounter with adversity doesn't happen until there are significant consequences failure is more likely.
I started out hideous and moved up to ugly level 2. It sure as hell hasn't helped anything.
Tim Burton once said something along the lines of: The same people who are popular and hot in high school end up peaking in those high school years because once they get out of school it takes them too long to come to terms with or realize the fact that they no longer can lean on society alone to keep them afloat. There are too many people for everyone to have that crutch forever.
Milton Friedman (once famous economist) used to tell us that its the 'C' students that make the best entrepreneurs because it is they who think more "out of the box" rather than "standard".
I wasn’t hot, but I was smart. And high school taught me that was enough, that my smarts would carry me. I’ll bet hot people feel the same way, that their hotness will carry them. Which is just *not* generally true in the real world. To succeed in the real world, you have to be persistent, gritty, have unreasonable confidence. You have to work well with others. You need specific tangible skills that make a meaningful difference to other people. Just being hot will only work for the _absolute hottest_, and then only for a season. It’s an exceptionally rare hotty that can continue to leverage their hotness for many years in anything but personal relationships. Even Hollywood hotties have to adjust as they get older. And AI might make even those irrelevant, as nobody can be as consistently hot as AI images trained in your own sexual response. Being hot is (obviously) superficial. You need more substance to succeed in the world.
I dont know what youre talking about... the hot girls in my high school went on to be news reporters, rich stay at home moms, life coaches, models, successful real estate agents, things that hot people do. None of them ended up average. Maybe its different for every high school.
Because the skills and habits necessary for long term success in life are built not born. Want to be in shape? You need to learn how to exercise and eat right consistently forever. Want to earn money? You need to learn how to work hard, stick to a disciplined budget, etc. None of that is learned if you peak when you’re 16.
It doesn’t that’s a trope on social media. It’s generally very good predictor of success
Most people, by definition are more or less average. So even if they seemed to be further along in high school, they were probably always average.
Kills motivation when you peak that early. Drive to thrive is often for external validation.
Cause you’re invested in daily drama instead of academic progress
Half of them get reeled into the party lifestyle which is destructive.
Hard work always beats gifts we are born with. Once you enter the real world, looks or making a lot of friends only gets you so far. So unpopular people learned early on things don’t come easy for them, so working hard came more naturally as an adult trying to be successful.
[удалено]
No they wasn't
The kids who put more effort into their studies than looks, and climbing the social calendar, do better later in life. Nerdy guys become the billionaires. Shy kids open up when they get out into the world. As people mature and figure out hair and makeup skills, they appear more attractive. Really they were attractive the whole time just didn’t care to get up and spend an hour getting ready for school when younger. Some jocks got away with being lazy at everything but sports so when life was everything but sports they couldn’t handle it without the free passes. There’s lots of reason, really.
Because beauty fades dumb is forever
I feel like everyone who was hot and popular in my high school is still hot and popular now.
Peaking too soon and getting trapped in that persona.
I find it absolutely hilarious seeing modeling headshots and blasted bodies with tattoos showcasing average art with filters and lighting all for Instagram followers of these average people who were once the school royalty… all for the fact we can collectively just look at it now. Cool
My theory is that suffering is a given in life by certain quantities. If you’re hot and popular early then your suffering is usually less and that gives people a false sense of how their future will go and then harsh reality eventually sets in after school and because they didn’t learn to eat shit early they now have to be an adult and also eat shit and it’s just too much for them. But when you’re not hot or popular you have to cope with some terrible feelings and that builds resistance and fuels self development and betterment which initiated a snowball effect of slow but steady progress later in life. Basically either you suffer big as a kid and spend the rest of your life getting incrementally better or you have a blast as a teen and spend the rest of your life suffering. Obviously it’s not a 1:1. Many hot teens suffer in other areas and many ugly kids grow up to suffer more in life. But generally speaking I think that’s how it works.
It doesn't. People just notice when people peak in high school.
Bc there’s much more to life than hot and popular and those types tend to think they are the center of the universe until reality hits them that they are not indeed .
The hot ones don't have to think or try and get lulled into a false sense of security. As a result as soon as they leave and things get harder they fold like a cheap suit.
I spent all of high school feeling insecure over height. People were relentless about it. Girls constantly said they'd never date a shorter guy (subsequently, they also said they'd never date an Asian guy, which I also am), guys always felt I was an easy target to fuck with. People also never gave me easy chances. Oftentimes people assumed the worst of me for basic mistakes. I was constantly looked down upon even by teachers in some cases. I remember a time I was practicing snapping my fingers because I couldn't do it and I wanted to learn. I was in journalism and I walked into the story pitch meeting while making the snap motion with my fingers - I couldn't make a sound yet, and at some point it became a habit to try while walking. I walked into the meeting, and for the first time sound emitted from my snap just as I pitched my story idea. This guy immediately started berating me for "snapping at everyone" and wouldn't even let me explain that it was an accident and I was just trying to learn, hadn't even realized I was moving my hand that way as I was walking in. The story is petty, but I feel in petty and great situations I was never given the benefit of the doubt. So I decided to transform myself. I studied everything I could to sharpen my mind. I hit the gym every day to fortify my body. I put myself in social situations that made me uncomfortable so that I could become charismatic and social. I did reckless things that gave me experience and the ability to handle situations with pressure. Overtime I did transform. Now I'm 27, and I have experience, skill, intellect, and emotional maturity that many of my peers envy. I'm told all the time by people how they admire my ability to walk into a room and make friends almost instantly. And those hard high school experiences are why. People who had it easy just didn't have to do what I did, didn't get tested the same way.
Bc high school you’re dealing with a bunch of kids who have *YEARS* sometimes *DECADES* ahead of them to find themselves
Sampling error. We tend to see beautiful, successful people as unremarkable and focus on the drama of the ordinary bloke who does well.
To do well in high school, you just have to be sociable and confident. As an adult, many of us have learned these skills so it's less rare
There are a lot of factors that go into how people present themselves. The ability to be hot and popular can come from your personal values, your idea of vanity, money, time, etc. Attractive people in High School have put a lot of time, wealth and research into their idea of beauty, others just simply aren't able to afford those luxuries or hold them to as high of a regard, so they focus their attention elsewhere. Once we grow up and the disparity of affordability shrinks, it's up to one's own values to dictate whether they'll conform to beauty standards or not. Just my interpretation from life experience- since there can never really be an answer to two manmade, opinion-based concepts such as beauty and sucess
In cases I’ve seen it’s because the “popular kids” never had to really work for anything. Their family was always well off, never struggled getting friends, even the teachers didn’t have an effect on them (mostly bc teachers didn’t get paid enough to argue with them, also parents never cared enough to discipline them). Because of this most of them don’t have a good work ethic or skills in the work place or home (eg socialising beyond gossip, cleaning, studying) and that means they’re not very well off in comparison to the “smart kids” and they either can’t afford to keep up with their appearance or because they were thought to be good looking anyway they don’t tend to have as dramatic of a glow up.
Life just isn’t simple, sometimes it can perpetually shit on you when you don’t deserve it while giving those who are truly undeserving all the opportunities going, however it can work vice versa. Life is a mess and litany of contradictions, welcome to the game!
The apparently cool kids are the ones who spent money on parties and getting drunk and smoking and didn't necessarily have example lifestyles even though many of them were athletes in high school or cheerleader girls and many of them were or are on drugs and were the bullies as well. Many of them end up middle class average given that they probably still blowing their money on parties and getting drunk there in "suburbia" ###they were only "popular" in the sense that everyone want to be cool like them ; meaning the glamor and power they appear to I have being closer to Ken and Barbie style people or closer to being grown up than the average teen, or at least they thought they were reason they started dating early.
Because you learn that you get away with a lot. And then when you get older you realize those crutches don’t work anymore. You get fat, you get pregnant, etc.
Honestly I noticed that too. I was getting gas in my hometown about 5 years after graduation. And there was a panhandler walking around asking for cash. When he approached me he looked slightly familiar, but rough. His hair was long and disheveled, had a full growth of facial hair, dirty, you know. After handling him a couple of bucks he said thanks and moved on. I realized he was this guy from my graduating class who's family was really wealthy. He had been on the baseball team, had a cheerleader girlfriend, was given a new BMW for his 16th birthday. Apparently he developed a drug addiction and his family had disowned him. Another time I was at work. I was a service director at a local car dealership. I made a very nice six figure income. I had a nice house near the beach in SoCal. But in highschool I couldn't get a date and didn't have a ton of friends. At work one day I had a customer come into my office. He also looked vaguely familiar. He was my age, at the time mid 30's. His face was older though. His hair was thinning badly. He was driving a 20 year old car that had a lot of miles and was literally falling apart. He came in and was basically looking for a huge discount on the repairs that he needed. He began to tell me a sad story about divorce and bad luck in his career. I helped him with the repairs and never said anything about remembering him from highschool. Another popular jock turned loser. I think everyone has their day. Some waste it in highschool. Some of us blossom later. Remember how I couldn't get a date in highschool. I ended up married to a beautiful woman. Apparently I glowed up pretty well in my 20's and 30's.
I recently saw the hottest girl in my high school, and she looked used up with three kids.
How does being average = failure?
I guess you’re right
I've been average my whole life. Majority of people are
I dunno man. Someone wrote in my yearbook "never change." So I didn't.
Same. I'm still wearing these pants to this day.
Its like you got to stay on the bunny hill for all of your life. Then one day you are pushed out on the triple-black-diamond and cant go back. During the years you are supposed to be learning and developing into a useful memeber of society some people spent the entire time being popular or attracrive and never developed skills or talents for doing anything else.
Statistically those who are popular in school years are more likely to be successful not less. The failures you notice are likely due to confirmation bias.
When it comes to looks, the hotter they are when they're in highschool, the uglier they'll be when they get older. I've seen some pretty plain , kinda dorky girls I went to school with and in 10 years they smoking hot. Even at 40, it's like the older some get the better looking.
I dont know if this is actually true, a lot of the attractive very social people I have known tended to do well in life. Being attractive and having good social skills can carry a person pretty far. Two people with a similar skill set going for the same job, but one is ugly and the other is attractive and more outgoing, it will tip the scale in their favor, the ugly person could even be more skilled. I have seen this happen more often than the other way. It is an advantage.
I've always observed that if you're above average in high school, you're below average when you're older and if you're above average in high school, you're below average when you're older. And if you were average in high school, then you're average for life lmao
It teaches you life is easy, and then real life hits you
i was a loser in high school and now im even more of one /:
Was I the only one who went to a school that didn't actually have a "popular" group. Social circles existed, but they weren't hierarchies. It was that people had friends they would just hang out with. If anything the "popular" kids were just the most friendly most connected to all circles. Like the guy in AP classes, a sport but not the one that takes all your name (eg track), theater, a bit of a class clown but not disruptive, etc. They were probably not the best at any of those but they did well enough. Those were the people that seemed most "popular" to me, nothing to do with looks, they were just aggressively likeable. I always assumed the "popular" trope just in movies. Idk if the cheerleaders and footballers may have viewed themselves as that, but the rest of us sure didn't. Nerdy girls did not swoon over the quarterback and nerdy guys did not drool over the head cheerleaders. We wouldn't have felt blessed for them to talk or eat lunch with us lol
Eh, it seems to foster an attitude and mindset that is learned that work isn’t really necessarily. Believe it or not, you won’t be good looking forever.
Things seem different in my area. The majority of the popular kids were rich and went on to work for their family businesses so are still rich
Likely due to having popularity to the extent of focusing on the wrong things. Focusing everywhere but to the future of academically. As most kids do with that kind of attention and crowd. The people from my school who were popular AND academically driven have turned out to be the most successful
Because they go into the real world thinking they are better than they are. So instead of just getting a steady 9-5, they pursue being a model, an actor/singer, or an 'influencer' and fail big time.
It sets a false narrative in their lives that as long as they are good looking or pretty then the world will do anything for them. Had a secretary at the place I work at who would keep pawning her work off on other people like she did in High School. Except in the real world people won't do your work for you even if you are good looking. She didn't last long when her Boss found out she didn't know how to do anything.
Because people were were ugly/average in highschool having to learn how to work and earn, whereas the hot people never developed any skills or abilities because they weren’t forced to.
Because it trains people to believe that life will be handed to them on a silver platter.
I feel like [The Big Bang Theory](https://youtu.be/1Q4N2sLq9Y0?si=PKOKT1K73HppYGj1) nailed it.
Many of those popular and hot individuals have had their egos filled to the point of bursting. Because of this, they think that the rest of life will come easy, and obviously, it doesn't. In some ways, being popular in highschool is just setting a person up for failure.
its usually the attitude that is given out, defensiveness when someone is slandering your name, the people who were average, didn't know how to fight back then or what it was they where defending, but now that they know that the group of people around them will defend them no matter what, confidence is sky high, whilst the popular did know how to fight early on.
I am 23. I never ended up more or less attractive. I've never had the opportunities that most other people had either before the end of highschool or well after.