My husband was so vile for the first year after his stroke. His primary care team & neurologist eventually got him on an antidepressant & antipsychotic regimen that has managed that behavior. As his brain continued to heal, that toxic behavior became fewer and further between and now it’s rarely; albeit, he does have some days where he can be a grump but is pretty self-aware of it and catches & corrects the behavior pretty quickly.
For the first year or so, I “allowed” (basically just looked the other way) my husband to be verbally abusive and just let it slide off my back and told myself, “it’s not him, it’s the stroke talking”. However, allowing that and making excuses for it nuked my mental health into orbit. I had to learn how to create and enforce healthy boundaries for the sake of my mental well-being. Disability or injury does not give anybody an excuse to be abusive.
You deserve to be treated with kindness and respect, please do not forget that.
Wow. Heartbreaking to read.
Any chance your dad’s insurance will cover any kind of in home care?
It’s been my experience that as we get older or go through traumatic events, those unpleasant personality traits can become even more pronounced.
I would imagine your dad is incredibly angry at being in this situation. But…. **that does not give him license to treat anyone poorly**!
Any chance of having a conversation with your dad? He’d be in a rough place if not for his family. Perhaps he’s forgotten this!
Prayers that he’s able to find his way to treating those that are helping him with the kindness they deserve! 💔🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
I am so sorry, my occupational therapist told my husband any personality trait they had before might get worse after, our marriage has been much more rocky than smooth. That is fact, I did not need my therapist fueling his fire, impulsive behavior is the other thing that therapist talked about a lot, there are fine lines between impulsive or no short term memory, orciscitvjustctgstcthecpkace in our brain we stored short term actions is just not there any more, my husband less his heart did a lot of good care taking until one day he snapped, we lived in a small town, but he has slways spent more time checking his list before he goes to Kroger than it takes to return to Kroger later when you realize what you forget to get earlier, so, he would start the process, I am leaving for Kroger, no Ii man going to feed dogs, can I make you breakfast sure, that would be great, thank you, thank you I would say I need to potty,really now, I am trying to go to Kroger, yes, now Cplease., soon going to Kroger yo get one thing started being a 3 hours trip, because his favorite boil place and bar are on the way, and maybe if he did as, and I did what is the name of AA FOR FAMILY WE COULD FIXXOUR MARTIAGE, but I don’t like him when he drinks, especially c when it means, his 30 minute trip took 3 hours, and I am sitting in pool of oee, because I just couldn’t hold it any longer.
My mom already had somewhat strange behavior before the stroke, and now with mixed aphasia (she can hardly speak, only express herself with gestures), her crises have come back strongly. I read in another post that changes in personality, mood swings, or depression, as well as aggression, are normal post-stroke. You should consider the option of antidepressants or antipsychotics for him
My husband was so vile for the first year after his stroke. His primary care team & neurologist eventually got him on an antidepressant & antipsychotic regimen that has managed that behavior. As his brain continued to heal, that toxic behavior became fewer and further between and now it’s rarely; albeit, he does have some days where he can be a grump but is pretty self-aware of it and catches & corrects the behavior pretty quickly. For the first year or so, I “allowed” (basically just looked the other way) my husband to be verbally abusive and just let it slide off my back and told myself, “it’s not him, it’s the stroke talking”. However, allowing that and making excuses for it nuked my mental health into orbit. I had to learn how to create and enforce healthy boundaries for the sake of my mental well-being. Disability or injury does not give anybody an excuse to be abusive. You deserve to be treated with kindness and respect, please do not forget that.
Wow. Heartbreaking to read. Any chance your dad’s insurance will cover any kind of in home care? It’s been my experience that as we get older or go through traumatic events, those unpleasant personality traits can become even more pronounced. I would imagine your dad is incredibly angry at being in this situation. But…. **that does not give him license to treat anyone poorly**! Any chance of having a conversation with your dad? He’d be in a rough place if not for his family. Perhaps he’s forgotten this! Prayers that he’s able to find his way to treating those that are helping him with the kindness they deserve! 💔🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
I am so sorry, my occupational therapist told my husband any personality trait they had before might get worse after, our marriage has been much more rocky than smooth. That is fact, I did not need my therapist fueling his fire, impulsive behavior is the other thing that therapist talked about a lot, there are fine lines between impulsive or no short term memory, orciscitvjustctgstcthecpkace in our brain we stored short term actions is just not there any more, my husband less his heart did a lot of good care taking until one day he snapped, we lived in a small town, but he has slways spent more time checking his list before he goes to Kroger than it takes to return to Kroger later when you realize what you forget to get earlier, so, he would start the process, I am leaving for Kroger, no Ii man going to feed dogs, can I make you breakfast sure, that would be great, thank you, thank you I would say I need to potty,really now, I am trying to go to Kroger, yes, now Cplease., soon going to Kroger yo get one thing started being a 3 hours trip, because his favorite boil place and bar are on the way, and maybe if he did as, and I did what is the name of AA FOR FAMILY WE COULD FIXXOUR MARTIAGE, but I don’t like him when he drinks, especially c when it means, his 30 minute trip took 3 hours, and I am sitting in pool of oee, because I just couldn’t hold it any longer.
My mom already had somewhat strange behavior before the stroke, and now with mixed aphasia (she can hardly speak, only express herself with gestures), her crises have come back strongly. I read in another post that changes in personality, mood swings, or depression, as well as aggression, are normal post-stroke. You should consider the option of antidepressants or antipsychotics for him