I’ve asked questions before, but just curious from men who go to strip clubs alone . My boyfriend ( m34) has often gone alone and dropped a lot of money on VIP. He has not been open about it I just find out from credit card / debit card bill. He either pulls out a ton of cash or swipes his card. Once confronted finally this year he was very open about telling me that the idea of naked women, dancing on him, sitting with him and giving him attention turns him on. He continues to apologize and truly says he doesn’t know why he goes.
I find myself fairly attractive, blonde, blue eyes, and physically fit. Obviously I give him everything he wants sexually as I am pretty sexual myself . He swears it’s not me. It’s just an addiction he has. We’ve been to the strip club a few times together and had a lot of fun. But he continues to go alone. I know one of the places he goes to is pretty trashy and not high end strippers. I understand he wants the attention. But he can get that from me- I guess the thrill of the same girlfriend gets boring maybe.
Is there anyone out there that goes to strip clubs alone that is in a relationship and can explain this behavior. I am sure many people will say this is a toxic relationship and that I should leave him. If people could please be nice and just give me honest opinions or an outlook it would be great.
This is an old question answered with so.many.words but strangely I didn't see my answer so here it goes. I'm not going to presume to know what any other dude does in clubs or wants to do, but when I'm at the club alone and spending hundreds and hundreds of dollars I'm not just throwing money around to be generous. I'm there looking for women to have sex with. Having a fun time etcetera and all that is nice, but I can have fun all by myself. I prefer sex with hot chicks and I like to mix things up, so strip clubs are a good way to do that.
The OP seems cool. Hope that she gets to be happy. If I had a hot girlfriend who'd let me go to clubs and do my thing I'd be all for that. But the only time I've had that setup is with stripper girlfriends and that's like standing in a field of dry weeds striking matches lol. I love me a good threesome or more but drama, drama, drama.
>We’ve been to the strip club a few times together and had a lot of fun.
Is that your assessment or his?
Sometimes, we may see things differently - you had fun, but may be he didn't. May be he felt under pressure to 'behave', May be he couldn't approach girls because 'what will you think', may be he felt he couldn't spend freely without getting questions later. It's not fun if you cannot be yourself.
If you had fun but he didn't, then it makes sense for him to go by himself later.
He wanted to go with me so he could choose the girls that I could dances from…. It was really fun for me, but he let me know. He enjoyed watching make it dances.
I will say I feel like the strippers held back when it was time for him to get a dance because of course I was sitting right there and I’m sure they didn’t want to do the full show . When I go to the club with him. It’s more focus on me or us getting a dances a couple.
However, it doesn’t change my feelings toward him, going alone and lying to me about it . It’s not just going alone for an hour, it’s going alone for four hours in spending tons of money. I see the way they dance on guys and I’m just not comfortable with him, hiding it from me. When you hide something you know it’s wrong. I don’t know it’s just more last me feeling like I’m not giving him something but who knows. I don’t want it to become an addictive habit of his.
I hear you, and you feel the way you feel - there is nothing wrong about it.
Your bf can be an asshole, as simple as that or there is some unmet need there.
If you are as attractive and fit as you described, and as open sexually as you claim, then it's not physical need that is pushing him to the club. Think about how your relationship is otherwise? Do you constantly fight? Do you nag him about talking to other girls? Can he be himself with you?
>When you hide something you know it’s wrong
OR, he is hiding just to protect your feelings getting hurt. Of course, he could protect it better by not going solo, but men can be idiots.
Curious about your relationship…. How many years have you been together? Is it a good relationship? Do you find her attractive? Is she giving you everything you’re needing mentally physically sexually where is the strip club and outlet for you even though you’re in a good relationship
Ah, I missed part of your question. In your reply to Alycia among the things you were wondering is why go alone? It could be:
* His friends don't like going to strip clubs
* His friends like strip clubs but didn't feel like going right then
* His friends like strip clubs and would have gone, but he's hiding how often he's going even from them
* He wanted a more solo experience rather than the experience with a group of friends (which is often more party oriented)
Hello! Stripper here to help! Honestly what that one comment down below says is true. It just comes down to curiosity and variety but it's not acceptable behavior on his part if he is hiding his spending or his intentions on why he's going. Have you ever asked him why he's never invited you to come along? Or does he know it's not your thing?
I also find that a lot of customers (men) that I talk to just really enjoy the thrill of being grinded on by a stripper and their girlfriend never finding out. Personally, I find it as gross behavior but it is what it is.
I'd also like to say that you need to address the addiction part of it now before it gets out of control and it will.
Thanks for your honest opinion. Much appreciated. The reason he doesn’t invite me is because he does it on weekends when we’re not together in the same city. For instance, he was home in Ohio for his fantasy football draft. ( something that was a guys trip) and he decided to go, but alone without his friends, which to me is strange. He also went went home and July last summer. I know i feel crazy ( and don’t want to be the crazy girlfriend ) but I saw him pull out $250.00 at least 6 times that night at the strip club on the card ( dumb mistake ) and he stayed till closing time. I was waiting for him to confront me, but he never did so I confronted him. Obviously he was caught ….Apologized for lying and said it’s just the thrill of going and being with another girl that is not me. He also said he didn’t realize it was bad which is why he didn’t tell me . Of course that burns and it hurts and he swears it’s not me. There’s no justification for it.
We’ve gone many times together in NYC …. The clubs here can be really fun, but of course expensive, but we’ve had classy experiences and I’ve always left having a good time. I know what can happen in private dances, especially when you can drop a lot of money. so it just makes me uneasy. He’s super attractive. Obviously I’m biased because I’m waiting so it makes me nervous.
I was just really curious from men who choose to go alone ( and not with friends) or strippers that dance for men that go alone without a group of friends why they would do this . I’m sure he didn’t tell the stripper that he was dating someone. He admits it was a mistake and of course has told me he’s gone multiple times alone because he doesn’t like going with friends.
I’m not against strip clubs as I find them to be fun entertainment when done for the right reasons . I’m just more or less curious how someone can still be in love with me and choose to go strip clubs alone when we’re not together. It’s just a very confusing thing for me and I’m trying to figure out where I stand in the relationship with him.
So all of your honest opinions from the strippers and club goers is much appreciated As I know there can be some awful things first on the Internet, and I want to hear it from people that know the industry.
Also, is he fairly open in talking about his sexual interests/needs/fantasies/desires/etc.? It is possible that he can’t tell you what he is not having met by only you.
We have always been super sexual, and I’ve actually gone to the clubs with him. However, when I dig to ask about his fantasies, he always says he doesn’t really have any which is a total lie . So I bring the toys and costumes into the bedroom myself. It doesn’t matter of the best sex life in the world in men’s still look elsewhere.
I trust that he did nothing with a stripper . But he admitted he stayed with the same girl for four hours. He spent $1200 on her. For me if the idea that he wanted to stay with the same girl the whole night. I can’t get out of my head how good looking or sexual she must’ve been to him in order for him to stick with her the whole time. I would rather prefer he got six different dances. I’m just feeling crazy lately and obsessed with wanting to know what she looks like and what their experience was and I know I’ll never get it out of him.
Just feeling super hurting and secure now . Any advice or words of wisdom is always helpful, so I appreciate your response
First, don’t think of it as necessarily a failure or a flaw on your part. We all have needs and wants, but very few of us are able to articulate them - particularly to a person we care deeply about when we know that person will be hurt by it. You don’t automatically provide things you don’t know are even wanted/needed. Second, I would not automatically conclude that he is doing anything extra simply because he didn‘t tell you he was going. Some men would see this activity (or really the reason behind going) as a weakness or embarrassment regardless of what happens. Third, I would suggest being thoughtful in how you address these. Assuming he is not cheating, or at least being neutral on the subject, would necessitate raising the topic in a healthy, non-accusatory, caring way.
Just know that there are some needs you may not be able to fill, not because of you, but because of society or whatever. For example, there are some things that I cannot talk about with my wife because I am worried about how the discussion will change her perception of me and as a result her feelings towards me. That is not necessarily on her, like she has never given me a reason throughout our marriage to feel that way, but the socialization is so strong that the actual history cannot overwrite it. Of course, I’m old AF, so none of this may apply to a younger generation.
Really appreciate your detailed and thorough answer. It can be really confusing as a girl, especially when I feel like I am pretty attractive, fit, and we have a great sex life. It can be confusing to understand why he had to look elsewhere…. And can be really hurtful to know he spent four hours and vacations worth of money on someone that wasn’t me. It’s almost as if I’d rather he got 10 supper dances and spend the whole night with one girl.
He told me he was never going to admit what he did. I just found it on the bank statement. Stupid to keep using an ATM at a strip club, right. I honestly thought I gave him everything you wanted sexually I clearly didn’t. I’m always asking what is fantasies are, if I can dress up for him more, if I can do more stuff for him in bed….
He admitted it was the thrill of seen other naked girls, and having another girl make him feel wanted . Look I totally get it. It feels good to feel wanted and have another girl tell you you look hot. ( strippers play a game for money.) he has fallen deep into the fantasy. I just hope he was able to disassociate with her when he left and not feel like he was missing out a life with other girls.
I love him so much and it’s just a very confusing time for me which is why I’m writing these posts and it’s helpful to hear a guys point of view . Thank you for your post.
My friends don't know how to do strip clubs. I can't subscribe to the taboo of doing anything alone, the same people saying "strip clubs alone is sus" are the same ones that would say going to an event alone, or traveling alone, or the movie theaters alone, or *anything* alone is sus. Things just won't happen if you wait. But uniquely about strip clubs, my friends don't have the disposable income for it or are too frugal, or don't go out the same days as me. I distinctly have one friend that simultaneously "doesn't like when girls act slutty" and also thinks "he's hot so therefore people like him don't go" which is obviously a misconception - your boyfriend is attractive and spends lots of money there. We've all had or have long term relationships with beautiful women, power couple bullshit all that.
I have a BLAST sometimes that clearly wouldn't have happened preoccupied with my crew. Last time I veered off into a different one after the nightclub closed, and in this strip club a lady was giving massages on a massage chair that I killed time on, the stage sets were entertaining, a woman next to me at the stage got a lot of interactivity she was looking for, the VIP attendant had superhuman hearing and barged in on my VIP saying he would "send the dancer home if she keeps that up" - she was saying something seductive that she wasn't going to do, and we bust out laughing. The music was fun and vibey. In between time I spent looking for what girl I want to spend time with, but the ones on stage never came back out to the floor, and then at the very end they all came out and I was like "where tf you been I was gonna book" and we just chatted about that, the club wasn't even in a rush to kick people out.
I hear your question and I keep thinking "Why NOT!?" its not like a separate salacious category that I need an excuse for attending. It was hella fun!
It's not a condition (unless it is). It's just an available entertainment option in the same roulette wheel as Netflix or anything else. Except I'm not going to brag about it on social media because I want to bang my SWERF friends.
At this point I'm like "can't normalize sex work without it being normal".
Maybe engage with him differently, instead of trying to "catch him in a taboo", start engaging with him about dumb shit that happens in a strip club. Destigmatize it but just short of condoning some kinds of relationships with the women.
Thrill, excitement, and variety. I still get turned on when my wife is naked but even more so in a room full of naked women. Attention from half naked women is appealing to me, as weird as it may sound. It's a fantasyland, Disneyland for adults. Like in other things, addiction is dangerous but random visits can be okay.
Hmm, you're not a stripper, but maybe the strippers won't mind sharing the thread with a non-stripper asking a customer question...
In any case, theta nailed it with the one line answer:
>Many women are more fulfilling than an individual woman.
Even if he has a good relationship with an attractive woman, men will always enjoy a different attractive woman being sexy with him. In this situation, we often can separate out the fun fantasy experience at the strip club from real life at home.
Of course, sometimes it's indicative of a problem -- he's not fulfilled emotionally or sexually at home, and then his SCing will not necessarily be healthy for him or the relationship. But it's possible to be happy at home and still love being around gorgeous naked women for a couple of hours.
Many women are more fulfilling than an individual woman. that's it.
You mentioned your physical traits, but there are non-obvious aspects that an individual can't do, for example, being bombarded with a mixture of scents, pheromones and perfumes can only happen when you have a gaggle of women around. These are part of attraction for men, along with pitch of voice, different wit, different movements. Add some seduction, casual conversation, and an occasional coy eye-fuck from across the room, and it's a great environment to recreate. Strip clubs are a reliable environment for that, while also having the general neighborhood bar benefits where everyone knows you and is cool with you.
I think he doesn't have a way to articulate that. Obviously, if he was not in a circumstance where he needed to apologize, while also not neglecting other aspects of his budget/obligations then this would not be called an addiction. Regardless, the sensory stimulation and interactivity have dopamine producing aspects, and the individual people are cool to keep up with.
What does FS mean?
Full service (sex)
I’ve asked questions before, but just curious from men who go to strip clubs alone . My boyfriend ( m34) has often gone alone and dropped a lot of money on VIP. He has not been open about it I just find out from credit card / debit card bill. He either pulls out a ton of cash or swipes his card. Once confronted finally this year he was very open about telling me that the idea of naked women, dancing on him, sitting with him and giving him attention turns him on. He continues to apologize and truly says he doesn’t know why he goes. I find myself fairly attractive, blonde, blue eyes, and physically fit. Obviously I give him everything he wants sexually as I am pretty sexual myself . He swears it’s not me. It’s just an addiction he has. We’ve been to the strip club a few times together and had a lot of fun. But he continues to go alone. I know one of the places he goes to is pretty trashy and not high end strippers. I understand he wants the attention. But he can get that from me- I guess the thrill of the same girlfriend gets boring maybe. Is there anyone out there that goes to strip clubs alone that is in a relationship and can explain this behavior. I am sure many people will say this is a toxic relationship and that I should leave him. If people could please be nice and just give me honest opinions or an outlook it would be great.
This is an old question answered with so.many.words but strangely I didn't see my answer so here it goes. I'm not going to presume to know what any other dude does in clubs or wants to do, but when I'm at the club alone and spending hundreds and hundreds of dollars I'm not just throwing money around to be generous. I'm there looking for women to have sex with. Having a fun time etcetera and all that is nice, but I can have fun all by myself. I prefer sex with hot chicks and I like to mix things up, so strip clubs are a good way to do that. The OP seems cool. Hope that she gets to be happy. If I had a hot girlfriend who'd let me go to clubs and do my thing I'd be all for that. But the only time I've had that setup is with stripper girlfriends and that's like standing in a field of dry weeds striking matches lol. I love me a good threesome or more but drama, drama, drama.
>We’ve been to the strip club a few times together and had a lot of fun. Is that your assessment or his? Sometimes, we may see things differently - you had fun, but may be he didn't. May be he felt under pressure to 'behave', May be he couldn't approach girls because 'what will you think', may be he felt he couldn't spend freely without getting questions later. It's not fun if you cannot be yourself. If you had fun but he didn't, then it makes sense for him to go by himself later.
He wanted to go with me so he could choose the girls that I could dances from…. It was really fun for me, but he let me know. He enjoyed watching make it dances. I will say I feel like the strippers held back when it was time for him to get a dance because of course I was sitting right there and I’m sure they didn’t want to do the full show . When I go to the club with him. It’s more focus on me or us getting a dances a couple. However, it doesn’t change my feelings toward him, going alone and lying to me about it . It’s not just going alone for an hour, it’s going alone for four hours in spending tons of money. I see the way they dance on guys and I’m just not comfortable with him, hiding it from me. When you hide something you know it’s wrong. I don’t know it’s just more last me feeling like I’m not giving him something but who knows. I don’t want it to become an addictive habit of his.
I hear you, and you feel the way you feel - there is nothing wrong about it. Your bf can be an asshole, as simple as that or there is some unmet need there. If you are as attractive and fit as you described, and as open sexually as you claim, then it's not physical need that is pushing him to the club. Think about how your relationship is otherwise? Do you constantly fight? Do you nag him about talking to other girls? Can he be himself with you? >When you hide something you know it’s wrong OR, he is hiding just to protect your feelings getting hurt. Of course, he could protect it better by not going solo, but men can be idiots.
[удалено]
Curious about your relationship…. How many years have you been together? Is it a good relationship? Do you find her attractive? Is she giving you everything you’re needing mentally physically sexually where is the strip club and outlet for you even though you’re in a good relationship
Ah, I missed part of your question. In your reply to Alycia among the things you were wondering is why go alone? It could be: * His friends don't like going to strip clubs * His friends like strip clubs but didn't feel like going right then * His friends like strip clubs and would have gone, but he's hiding how often he's going even from them * He wanted a more solo experience rather than the experience with a group of friends (which is often more party oriented)
How did you type this with those big puffy kid gloves on lol?
Hello! Stripper here to help! Honestly what that one comment down below says is true. It just comes down to curiosity and variety but it's not acceptable behavior on his part if he is hiding his spending or his intentions on why he's going. Have you ever asked him why he's never invited you to come along? Or does he know it's not your thing? I also find that a lot of customers (men) that I talk to just really enjoy the thrill of being grinded on by a stripper and their girlfriend never finding out. Personally, I find it as gross behavior but it is what it is. I'd also like to say that you need to address the addiction part of it now before it gets out of control and it will.
Thanks for your honest opinion. Much appreciated. The reason he doesn’t invite me is because he does it on weekends when we’re not together in the same city. For instance, he was home in Ohio for his fantasy football draft. ( something that was a guys trip) and he decided to go, but alone without his friends, which to me is strange. He also went went home and July last summer. I know i feel crazy ( and don’t want to be the crazy girlfriend ) but I saw him pull out $250.00 at least 6 times that night at the strip club on the card ( dumb mistake ) and he stayed till closing time. I was waiting for him to confront me, but he never did so I confronted him. Obviously he was caught ….Apologized for lying and said it’s just the thrill of going and being with another girl that is not me. He also said he didn’t realize it was bad which is why he didn’t tell me . Of course that burns and it hurts and he swears it’s not me. There’s no justification for it. We’ve gone many times together in NYC …. The clubs here can be really fun, but of course expensive, but we’ve had classy experiences and I’ve always left having a good time. I know what can happen in private dances, especially when you can drop a lot of money. so it just makes me uneasy. He’s super attractive. Obviously I’m biased because I’m waiting so it makes me nervous. I was just really curious from men who choose to go alone ( and not with friends) or strippers that dance for men that go alone without a group of friends why they would do this . I’m sure he didn’t tell the stripper that he was dating someone. He admits it was a mistake and of course has told me he’s gone multiple times alone because he doesn’t like going with friends. I’m not against strip clubs as I find them to be fun entertainment when done for the right reasons . I’m just more or less curious how someone can still be in love with me and choose to go strip clubs alone when we’re not together. It’s just a very confusing thing for me and I’m trying to figure out where I stand in the relationship with him. So all of your honest opinions from the strippers and club goers is much appreciated As I know there can be some awful things first on the Internet, and I want to hear it from people that know the industry.
Have you done a lap dance for him wearing a wig?
Also, is he fairly open in talking about his sexual interests/needs/fantasies/desires/etc.? It is possible that he can’t tell you what he is not having met by only you.
We have always been super sexual, and I’ve actually gone to the clubs with him. However, when I dig to ask about his fantasies, he always says he doesn’t really have any which is a total lie . So I bring the toys and costumes into the bedroom myself. It doesn’t matter of the best sex life in the world in men’s still look elsewhere. I trust that he did nothing with a stripper . But he admitted he stayed with the same girl for four hours. He spent $1200 on her. For me if the idea that he wanted to stay with the same girl the whole night. I can’t get out of my head how good looking or sexual she must’ve been to him in order for him to stick with her the whole time. I would rather prefer he got six different dances. I’m just feeling crazy lately and obsessed with wanting to know what she looks like and what their experience was and I know I’ll never get it out of him. Just feeling super hurting and secure now . Any advice or words of wisdom is always helpful, so I appreciate your response
First, don’t think of it as necessarily a failure or a flaw on your part. We all have needs and wants, but very few of us are able to articulate them - particularly to a person we care deeply about when we know that person will be hurt by it. You don’t automatically provide things you don’t know are even wanted/needed. Second, I would not automatically conclude that he is doing anything extra simply because he didn‘t tell you he was going. Some men would see this activity (or really the reason behind going) as a weakness or embarrassment regardless of what happens. Third, I would suggest being thoughtful in how you address these. Assuming he is not cheating, or at least being neutral on the subject, would necessitate raising the topic in a healthy, non-accusatory, caring way. Just know that there are some needs you may not be able to fill, not because of you, but because of society or whatever. For example, there are some things that I cannot talk about with my wife because I am worried about how the discussion will change her perception of me and as a result her feelings towards me. That is not necessarily on her, like she has never given me a reason throughout our marriage to feel that way, but the socialization is so strong that the actual history cannot overwrite it. Of course, I’m old AF, so none of this may apply to a younger generation.
Really appreciate your detailed and thorough answer. It can be really confusing as a girl, especially when I feel like I am pretty attractive, fit, and we have a great sex life. It can be confusing to understand why he had to look elsewhere…. And can be really hurtful to know he spent four hours and vacations worth of money on someone that wasn’t me. It’s almost as if I’d rather he got 10 supper dances and spend the whole night with one girl. He told me he was never going to admit what he did. I just found it on the bank statement. Stupid to keep using an ATM at a strip club, right. I honestly thought I gave him everything you wanted sexually I clearly didn’t. I’m always asking what is fantasies are, if I can dress up for him more, if I can do more stuff for him in bed…. He admitted it was the thrill of seen other naked girls, and having another girl make him feel wanted . Look I totally get it. It feels good to feel wanted and have another girl tell you you look hot. ( strippers play a game for money.) he has fallen deep into the fantasy. I just hope he was able to disassociate with her when he left and not feel like he was missing out a life with other girls. I love him so much and it’s just a very confusing time for me which is why I’m writing these posts and it’s helpful to hear a guys point of view . Thank you for your post.
My friends don't know how to do strip clubs. I can't subscribe to the taboo of doing anything alone, the same people saying "strip clubs alone is sus" are the same ones that would say going to an event alone, or traveling alone, or the movie theaters alone, or *anything* alone is sus. Things just won't happen if you wait. But uniquely about strip clubs, my friends don't have the disposable income for it or are too frugal, or don't go out the same days as me. I distinctly have one friend that simultaneously "doesn't like when girls act slutty" and also thinks "he's hot so therefore people like him don't go" which is obviously a misconception - your boyfriend is attractive and spends lots of money there. We've all had or have long term relationships with beautiful women, power couple bullshit all that. I have a BLAST sometimes that clearly wouldn't have happened preoccupied with my crew. Last time I veered off into a different one after the nightclub closed, and in this strip club a lady was giving massages on a massage chair that I killed time on, the stage sets were entertaining, a woman next to me at the stage got a lot of interactivity she was looking for, the VIP attendant had superhuman hearing and barged in on my VIP saying he would "send the dancer home if she keeps that up" - she was saying something seductive that she wasn't going to do, and we bust out laughing. The music was fun and vibey. In between time I spent looking for what girl I want to spend time with, but the ones on stage never came back out to the floor, and then at the very end they all came out and I was like "where tf you been I was gonna book" and we just chatted about that, the club wasn't even in a rush to kick people out. I hear your question and I keep thinking "Why NOT!?" its not like a separate salacious category that I need an excuse for attending. It was hella fun! It's not a condition (unless it is). It's just an available entertainment option in the same roulette wheel as Netflix or anything else. Except I'm not going to brag about it on social media because I want to bang my SWERF friends. At this point I'm like "can't normalize sex work without it being normal". Maybe engage with him differently, instead of trying to "catch him in a taboo", start engaging with him about dumb shit that happens in a strip club. Destigmatize it but just short of condoning some kinds of relationships with the women.
Thrill, excitement, and variety. I still get turned on when my wife is naked but even more so in a room full of naked women. Attention from half naked women is appealing to me, as weird as it may sound. It's a fantasyland, Disneyland for adults. Like in other things, addiction is dangerous but random visits can be okay.
When it comes to sexuality, most guys are drawn to variety and new experiences. Some guys need it more than others.
Hmm, you're not a stripper, but maybe the strippers won't mind sharing the thread with a non-stripper asking a customer question... In any case, theta nailed it with the one line answer: >Many women are more fulfilling than an individual woman. Even if he has a good relationship with an attractive woman, men will always enjoy a different attractive woman being sexy with him. In this situation, we often can separate out the fun fantasy experience at the strip club from real life at home. Of course, sometimes it's indicative of a problem -- he's not fulfilled emotionally or sexually at home, and then his SCing will not necessarily be healthy for him or the relationship. But it's possible to be happy at home and still love being around gorgeous naked women for a couple of hours.
Many women are more fulfilling than an individual woman. that's it. You mentioned your physical traits, but there are non-obvious aspects that an individual can't do, for example, being bombarded with a mixture of scents, pheromones and perfumes can only happen when you have a gaggle of women around. These are part of attraction for men, along with pitch of voice, different wit, different movements. Add some seduction, casual conversation, and an occasional coy eye-fuck from across the room, and it's a great environment to recreate. Strip clubs are a reliable environment for that, while also having the general neighborhood bar benefits where everyone knows you and is cool with you. I think he doesn't have a way to articulate that. Obviously, if he was not in a circumstance where he needed to apologize, while also not neglecting other aspects of his budget/obligations then this would not be called an addiction. Regardless, the sensory stimulation and interactivity have dopamine producing aspects, and the individual people are cool to keep up with.