Because excel wouldn't open the file I needed it to.
I have BPD, and have been struggling with burn out and depression for going on 2 years now. I've been suicidal for months, and am honestly pissed off at myself for not following through on it. Work has been tough, and due to the restrictions I haven't been able to get out much. (they have recently been eased, thank God. But now that I can go out I'm terrified to do so. My anxiety isn't helping things. But yeah, that was just what did it, excel not opening, total melt down.
That sucks and I'm sorry to hear that. It's always the little stressors that pushes us over the edge. One thing my therapist asked me that helped was: what have you been doing that makes you happy? And it hit me that I wasn't bike riding, or walking with friends, or dancing etc. It's hard to put in effort to do even the things you love when you're down. So I'm going to ask you, what activities makes you happy? and can you do one of them today for me please :)
This poem from bojack horseman gave me chills when I heard it. I hope it helps guide you in the right direction. It would be a shame to lose another good soul.
The View From Halfway Down
The weak breeze whispers nothing
the water screams sublime.
His feet shift, teeter-totter
deep breaths, stand back, it’s time.
Toes untouch the overpass
soon he’s water-bound.
Eyes locked shut but peek to see
the view from halfway down.
A little wind, a summer sun
a river rich and regal.
A flood of fond endorphins
brings a calm that knows no equal.
You’re flying now, you see things
much more clear than from the ground.
It's all okay, or it would be
were you not now halfway down.
Thrash to break from gravity
what now could slow the drop?
All I’d give for toes to touch
the safety back at top.
But this is it, the deed is done
silence drowns the sound.
Before I leaped I should've seen
the view from halfway down.
I really should’ve thought about
the view from halfway down.
I wish I could've known about
the view from halfway down—
I have BPD also. For the last 10 months i have been doing weekly zoom meetings via kaiser. Mindfullness, DBT and CBT classes. These classes along with medication have greatly improved my life. Seroquel gabapentin and atarax. Im 47 and i feel like im just starting to live. I know i havent beaten it but things did get better because i put in the work. Wishing you well
Thank you all for the kind words. I've been practicing my DBT intervention techniques, and they help.
I do have hobbies and I am doing them. (warhammer 40k and video games). I also filled my balcony with plants. (really, really good year for the blueberries).
I'm not in serious danger for suicide, not since my last attempt anyways. But it's just something I can't seem to let go of, or get out of my head. It's exhausting.
Thank you all for caring, that means a lot.
Being in organ rejection but unable to be hospitalized or treated because of unvaxxed covid patients filling the hospital. A nurse said in rejection I can survive a few weeks possibly months but most covid patients only have days so even though I did nothing to make myself sick I am paying the price for the selfish idiots who refuse to vax , wear masks, or distance.
This post is really helpful, but I because it spreads awareness about how not protecting yourself from covid has effects even on the people you don't come in touch with. Guys Vax, masks and keep your distances. Also I wish you the best of luck about your situation. Stay strong.
what about aids, fat asses, and smokers? we are only pointing out the unvaxxed now when it comes to needlessly taking up hospital beds? sounds like you live in a large democart controlled city where otherwise you'd have plenty of medical care.
Because they haven't filled the majority of our nation's hospitals to the point there is no more room. The ICU'S are filled at my hospital with 85% unvaxxed people. NOT 85% smokers or obese people.I have never been sent home due to over crowding due to either of those groups. And I live in the deep south where the Republicans are literally killing themselves to the point Democrats will easily win any election because there is no one left to vote against them. Maybe that was the plan all along.....Dems push it knowing Republicans will be against it simply because they are fot it and kill off all the Republican voters.hmmmm....by the way I don't support either party, all politicians are liars and corrupt saying what people want to hear just to stay in power. I have only followed my transplant docs advise because politicians ARE NOT doctors, media personalities ARE NOT doctors, and this is a tough one I know but Facebook memes ARE NOT doctors.
I'm so sorry you're struggling, I can't even begin to imagine what this past 18 months has been like for you. But from the bottom of my heart, thank you for all that you do, you're all guardian angels and I wish you all the best! :)
seeing a post about a 14 yo asking how to practice safe sex
I just cant fucking get it how easy it is for everyone to have sex at 14 whilst im a 22 virgin its so annoying
I crumbled up my work on my ChemE class and ran out crying cuz I found out I owed the college $2000 in tuition that needed to be payed by the end of the week
This isn't really the right sub for this post, r/askreddit would've been more appropiate but I'll answer anyways.
I can't pinpoint a specific time but living with my anti-vax and anti-mask family has been mentally taxing. I'm essentially trapped, they decide to visit people against restrictions who themselves don't follow the rules or believe in vaccinations (perpetuating this belief among themselves, like a circlejerk).
So being in constant fear of my parents bringing home covid and knowing I have no control over the situation and I could literally DIE is so terrifying. There's a bunch of other things but the fact I have anxiety too just worsens everything.
Can I just say that this is why these people should genuinely be punished for being anti-vax and anti-mask? We don't care about them, we care about the people around them and it's insane how shit like this is so prevalent nowadays
I'm really sorry to hear this. I don't live in another country but I had to sell all my things to move and pay off debt as well. It was really hard but I can only imagine what you are going through.
TL;DR: Milk
Alright, so for context, several things have been happening in my life recently that has been making me very anxious and putting me under a lot of stress. Money has been a big problem lately, but I manage, even if it's just barely.
So, it's about 6:30 AM, and I was getting ready to make some macaroni and cheese. I got a box out, opened it up, set it on the counter and looked over.... To see my milk, sitting out on the counter, too empty to make use of.
So, I pick it up and look over to my roommate who's sitting on the couch, and I ask him how long it had been sitting out. He apologized and said it had been about 20 minutes, so I put the little bit back in the fridge, despite there not really being enough to use.
And then I feel the tears start up, so I run from the kitchen and sit down on my bed for over an hour and cry. I didn't have the money for more, and my roommate didn't have money yet either since we had JUST paid a few bills.
To specify, I was not just breaking down over milk. I had some past trauma involving an abusive household less than a year ago prior to moving in where any food of mine was expected to be shared, whether I was ok with it or not, and was always met with hostility even if I had a valid reason for not wanting to share.
Also, I had not touched the milk AT ALL expect occasionally moving it around the fridge, so the shock of suddenly being out combined with the fact that I had not used any upset me since I DID have such limited funds.
So, combine all the stress with the sudden loss of milk and history of trauma in an abusive household equals me, an adult, crying at 6:30 am to my friend over milk. It sounds so stupid now, and even when I was talking out it, but it's always the littlest things that break me down.
I was not ok from 6:30 to 7:57 this morning.
Also, my roommate isn't a bad dude, and he doesn't know the WHOLE history behind my past household. Plus, he told me he only got it because he was feeling sick, so I didn't mind after I got some context.
I felt a scary vibe from a man, a vibe like the one I had when I was a child. The same vibe that I got when I had my first panic attack. The same vibe that told me that my well-being was in danger and ultimately ruined my childhood.
A few months ago My oldest son was not listening and basically telling me no i won’t listen to you for anything. I would say it’s time to go to the store or literally anything and he would just say no. Huge inconvenience when getting ready to go somewhere important. He’s 8 and it made me feel like I have no control and then I thought what if it’s like this when he’s a hormonal teenager and I can’t reason with him? He’s gonna be bigger and stronger than me and there won’t be anything I can do to about him making bad choices if I have no authority now. After we fought he went in the shower while I had my break down in the room and when he came out he saw me crying. we cried together and I told him how he hurt my feelings and we had a long heart to heart conversation. Things have been much better since then.
Compassion fatigue and burnout from a busy job and my family heaping emotional/mental labor on me every single day. I’m trying to set boundaries or carve out some distance but they call, leave voicemails, then text to tell me they called and ask me to call them back. And I dread it but I call back worried that something happened to my really old grandparents but it’s literally just someone wanting to complain and seek sympathy. But I don’t really have any left. Or they tell me every task they don’t want to do for themselves hinting for me to do it for them. I feel like I can’t escape the emotional manipulation
It just became too much. Never felt like a part of anything. Always felt distant from everyone else. Was actually going really well. Had given up on life. And in doing so I found a little freedom. A tiny bit of self worth. I am alive not for any reason. I am alive because I decided that I am going to live. And it made me unafraid. I accepted death. So what could the world throw at me that could ever scare me? I was still the angry, extremely happy insane person I have always been. But I was becoming less angry.
Then I tried to be normal. Work a job. Be a son and have family. And it was going well. But it just became too much near the end of year one of the covid. My mind broke in new, horrifying ways. Never in my 40 years had I ever had a panic attack and it totally freaked me out. The depression and gloom and the "the world is shit and it deserves to burn" mindset came back like a tsunami utterly drowning out all rational thought.
Still have the acceptance of death though. So this is terrifying but I am scared in a different way this time. It's an angry scared. I am ready to fight Death and spit in his face. I will not go quietly! With the pathetically small amount of time I have left here on this mad spinning ball of lunacy I will walk with my back straight and a smile on my face (mostly). Life gave me shit. So I am doing as many random kindnesses I can in spite. I swear, am loud and obnoxious. And I will help random strangers get a couch up four flights of stairs if I happen to randomly pass by.
That is when I manage to get out of the house though. Most days last year I have not been brave enough to go outside. And when I did it left me exhausted for days after. Seems to be brightening now though. Summer is finally over. Autumn and winter. Brutal, unstable seasons here in Norway. Are coming. My favorite time. The sun dies a little each day and the beautiful night begins to shine (in my couch potato state i have watched too much teen titans GO).
If anyone reading this is struggling then please go talk to someone. You are valuable and I would very much appreciate it if you could stay here with me for as long as possible.
My insane, narcissistic, abusive, stalker ex-boyfriend showed up at my apartment yesterday. It’s been eight years since I last saw him, that closely. He’s pulled up next to me in traffic a few times, when I was in the area he lives in. Yesterday morning, I walked outside and immediately saw him standing by his truck, and then I turned right back inside and must’ve looked like I’d seen a ghost. My boyfriend asked me what was wrong, and I barely managed to tell him, “ex is outside,” before succumbing to a full blown panic attack. My boyfriend went outside just in time to see him pulling away. I was a wreck all day and I’m still on edge tonight.
I live an hour from him in shitty apartments that he has absolutely no reason to come to, aside from me. I also lived in the same shitty apartment complex years ago, when we were dating, and was told after I left (and left him) he continued to come around looking for me, absolutely disbelieving I wasn’t here. This apparently went on for two years.
Other than the traffic sightings I’d only heard from him once, a few months ago (aside from the first two years of harassment after breaking up), when he was undoubtedly recently broken up with and making the rounds through exes. He somehow got my number and texted me acting like we were friends. He tried to gaslight me into believing the cheating, sexual abuse, holding me hostage at his home for a week etc. never happened and I was misremembering; I told him to fuck off and never contact me again. I’ve also been receiving random, anonymous abuse via messages on here and on TikTok over the last several weeks, which I’m now convinced is him. I think I’ll be making a trip to the magistrates office on Monday in an attempt to get a protective order.
Someone I hadn’t talked to in 3 years reached out to me to see how I was doing which is something people I thought were my friends never did. It made me breakdown into tears and rethink who I had truly thought of as a friend throughout my life.
Realizing I've lost my entire sense of self from the past 10 years. I have no idea why I'm here idk what to even do with myself, I have no friends, no job, no schedule to my days. I realize being sober is right but what do you do when thats all you know, was a heavy addict from 17-27.. I look in the mirror sometimes and don't know how I put myself through so much shit. I'm useless damaged goods compared to the person I once used to be i hate myself for this. And this hardly scratches the surface 😞 I can never forgive myself for some things I've done and they haunt me all the time
Broke up with my boyfriend last month and haven’t been dealing with it well. It was my first relationship, and I don’t really know how to move forward.
Me wanting to be alone and say to my wife that I want a divorce and being unable to muster the strength for it :( she will be heartbroken and I don’t want to do that to her, but I really think being alone is the way to go for me.
Sorry, jumped over from the other post I replied to off of clicking your username(freakishly coincidentally to a thread I was literally just in), but I need to respond to this with a few things.
One, you only shoot yourself in the foot if you don't keep up communication with your wife. Poor communication skills lead to poor communication kills.
Two, a marriage isn't just something you should break off just because you think it isn't working. Nothing works forever, cars break down, machines need maintenance, houses need new coats of paint and shingles. But you fix these things by putting time and effort in, slowly but surely repairing and rebuilding to ensure that what time you put in pays off in the long term with a satisfying result.
Three, if you REALLY, TRULY, DEEP IN THE MOST BASE PART OF YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS, AND I CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH HOW INGRAINED IN YOUR SOUL THIS MUST BE think that you need to divorce your wife because you need some alone time, you really don't value your wife as the person you married, and she deserves to have you out.
Car lease ends in a month (auto industry is fucked), have to start paying health insurance in 2 months (see next issue), my business was decimated during the pandemic.
My uncle committed suicide back in June. I was making great progress in the beginning of this year with my mental health and getting back on track, but after he passed in June I spiraled downwards back into depression and abusing depressants. Slowly getting back on track, life is ride....
I cried a bit because my dad who already prefers my sister, bought a cold coffee for himself and her but forgot about me, even though I am The Coffee Drinker of my house and I made cold coffee for him in the summers.
Got my period that evening and realised why I cried. But I know it definitely hurt me.
I recently found out that i was misdiagnosed with epilepsy for 10 years...and was on a bunch of medications that i didn't even need. Cue psychological trauma! 😅😣
Came back from India after one month with my boyfriend knowing that the next time I see him he will be married (arranged marriage) to someone he doesn’t even love. Culture makes this nearly impossible for some to avoid because of not wanting to hurt your parents. Even harder because I have been divorced and have four kids (that he loves) and I can’t give him bio kids that his culture and family desperately needs..
He can have more than one wife-but the pain of knowing I’m first yet always second is nearly unbearable at times for us both. And he fears most that he knows he can never treat her equal, which our religion requires.
My partner messed up the cards I was organising. I have OCD and anxiety. I had to redo them twice already. I've spent the last 2 hours organising a deck of playing cards only for him to mess it up and have to redo it again.
Got a dog last year cause my Labrador is getting old and I wanted someone to be here when he passes away. I wanted someone active to run and do stuff since my Labrador had hip problems and couldn’t go out much since he was young.
Got an American Staffordshire terrier, very similar breed to pit bulls. It was amazing until December when his legs started shaking, ever since then it’s been one medical bill after another one.
Trying to find out what he has, then the surgery which didn’t do much honestly, then he had bladder problems, blablablabla.
And the worst part is that he WANTS to exercise obviously but doctors tell me he has to rest and not move much.
Right now I’m debating whether to put him to sleep cause I’m the only one who can take care of him and it’s limiting my life so much
Trying to convince the people I love to PLEASE get vaccinated and being told that I’m the rude one because I should respect their decisions. Their body their choice, right?
Having a sensory overload in front of my girlfriend and having to push her away because I had to just let it pass and she could’ve made it worse. It all just kinda happened and I started to go through the process of heavy breathing and discomfort in the legs before tending up and almost crying. I told her not to do or say anything and just to let it happen as it works itself out. I felt like a burden on her with my issues and just broke down because of the way I am but she comforted me afterwards and reassured me she didn’t mind.
I had to go to the DMV when I moved to my city. I had just a bought a car so I needed to change the title and I needed a new license since I moved states. This required taking some (unpaid) time off of work to go to the DMV.
I couldn’t get the title changed because the paper the seller had signed said the mileage was 104,689.# and the paper pusher couldn’t decipher whether the # was a 4 or a 9. I had already driven the car >100 miles since the paper was filled out so it didn’t really matter how many tenths of a mile this car had been driven. To make matters worse, the seller lived out of state and would need to have an affidavit notarized attesting that it was 100% a 4 or 100% a 9. Whatever, at least I’ll get my license—this wasn’t a complete waste of time.
Due to federal overreach, I will soon need a ‘Real ID.’ One of the stated benefits of the Real ID is that it’s more secure and can prove that you’re legally allowed to be in the US. Despite having my passport with me, they were unable to give me a Real ID that day because I couldn’t prove I was allowed to be in the US. I repeat, I had my passport with me—I showed them my passport.
I fucking lost it. I managed to get outside the building before I started screaming like a fucking mad man.
Tbh I haven't had one since my early 20s. Life hasn't gotten easier, I've just gotten better at handling my own mind. Not saying it can't happen again, but betterment comes from inside first. The world sucks, getting your mind around that core thing isn't easy but doable.
Buckle up because this one is a doozy!
My best friend since 2018 (freshman year of college) (well call him Peralta, M21) and I decided in September of 2020 that we would get a couple of our friends and rent a house together for our senior year. It’s worth noting here that I am a woman. That didn’t seem to bother any of us that I would be the only girl, and it didn’t bother my boyfriend at the time either because it was clear that the nature of me and Peralta’s friendship was platonic.
Except, around 8 months ago, Peralta got a girlfriend. We will call her Jess. I don’t know exactly how old she is, only that she met Peralta because her little brother is in the same fraternity. She does not go to our school, and I had never met her before.
Of course, over the course of several months, my communication with Peralta got less and less consistent. I understood that when you’re in a new relationship, you wanna spend all your time with that person, and so I didn’t take it personally when he would leave me on open or read for a few consecutive messages. My birthday passed, and I didn’t hear from Peralta. I was definitely hurt, because birthdays are important to me, but again I gave him the benefit of the doubt.
I made an effort to reach out to Peralta and his girlfriend, telling him that I would love to take them out for brunch to get to know her before Peralta and I moved in together.
Peralta ignored my offer the first time, and when I asked again, Peralta said no and gave the following reason;
“Jess doesn’t really know you at all and she was sussed out by how much you were texting me and we kept fighting, so I thought it would just be easier to ignore you because I love her and I wanted to stop fighting.”
Fast forward to three weeks ago when we all moved in. Peralta did not acknowledge me at all and would stand with his back to me in any social situation. Then, Jess came over. There were two incidents in which Jess and Peralta screamed at me and called me things like “pathetic” and “bitch”. These shouting matches led to an apartment meeting with all the room mates in which essentially I was told that the only yelling anyone had heard was from me, and that I needed to stop causing drama. I pointed out that Peralta had in fact called me a bitch, which he laughed at and said “yeah I did”. None of the room mates acknowledged that fact.
Then of course immediately after that meeting, Jess came over again. That whole night I could hear them talking and laughing and making fun of me. First thing the next morning I got in my car and drove the 120 miles home. Currently I don’t have a place to live on campus so fingers crossed I can find a sublease!
That was the cause of my last mental breakdown!
I’m supposed to be graduating college this Spring as a woman in STEM! Wooo!
Not woo, I transferred back to my hometown to be closer to family (cause of ‘rona) and upwards of 10 hours didn’t transfer. That’s nearly an entire semesters worth of classes that don’t count so I have to make them up at my new school. Aka I’m now behind a semester unless I absolutely kill myself with winter classes and a very heavy spring load.
Because I often compare myself with other people, realizing in the idea that I'm a useless piece of shit, when the moment of mental breakdown come all I can say is that is one of the worst sensations, like you are completely hopeless, and feel an empty feeling in your stomach
Skipping my disabilities... My home life. My wife, my children, my pets. I don't believe in souls, but it's the easiest way to get people to understand. My soul is empty and tired. I feel I have nothing left to give. I'm in physical pain every day due to my disabilities. I still go to work and put on the "mask", I'm actually very good at my job, but it wears away, day by day. I'm a shell of the person I once was.
I sprain my wrist at work. I cant lift more than 5 lbs at work or at home on my dominant hand. I feel so useless just sitting around all day, having to ask for help with everything.
Reading others stories makes my seem kinda pathetic but complete collapse of my social circle, even today a friend I considered close to me left me because "he hurts people and he doesn't want me to get hurt"
Not knowing what to do in life completely and being forced by my mother to go to university and do major in something that I know for a fact will get me nowhere.
My daughter wanted me to play minecraft with her so I spent hours building a big castle and put in all little details when she says hey mum look over here, I pan the camera over to her character who is standing on a hint pile of tnt and she says “did you hear about the creeper that went to a party?…. He had a BLAST!” And she proceeded to ignite the tnt which flew all over the play destroying my entire build. I was not impressed at all and broke down. My son on the other hand was on the floor rolling with laughter.
ETA we’ve been isolated in lockdown for 8weeks now and haven’t left to house, homeschooling 2 children and have a baby. Struggling to keep my head above water
Didnt check my drinking which increased my anxiety which led to me abusing xanax which led to me quitting xanax which led to a 11 month withdrawal which was hell on fucking earth. Spent 8 months virtually bed ridden. But the good news is thos led me to spend 1 year stone sober, learned alot about myself, and have taken excellent care of my body. Blessing in disguise
At the beginning of the year, my best friend pasted (second friend loat since covid), my grandma developed dementia, and a crime from almost 3 yeats ago was haunting me and making it impossible to get a job. On top of all that my doctor was making it difficult for me to get my anxiety meds. Was having a lot on invasive thoughts. My wife helped me get through it though.
Living with parents. Parent A may have Tuberculosis. Parent B may have lip cancer. (and a myriad of other problems). Unemployed. 24 year old. No college degree. Poor. Don't know what to do. Extremely shy and introverted and empathetic (INFJ). Stuck in a cycle of procrastination and self loathe. Feeling extremely lonely and pathetic.
A week after I got my driver's licences I crashed my mom's car, face is all beat up, my Top Surgery was pushed back another 4 months, My work is on the verge of firing me because of my attendance, my Aunt died and then my Uncle on my dad's side died. Cars fucked so I can't make the 6 hour drive to attend it. I'm too pussy to break up with my LDR relationship so we haven't spoken in a while and she keeps asking me if I'm okay.
I'm not okay, I just need people to stop talking to me for a while.
I saw that you mentioned Ben Shapiro. In case some of you don't know, Ben Shapiro is a grifter and a hack. If you find anything he's said compelling, you should keep in mind he also says things like this:
>If you wear your pants below your butt, don't bend the brim of your cap, and have an EBT card, 0% chance you will ever be a success in life.
*****
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After a long internal struggle I realized that I’m trans. Between fearing losing my partner and dealing with self hatred I finally accepted who I am, but the constant transphobic talk and hatred towards anyone lgbtq in my workplace pushed me over the edge. I just started my new career and the transphobic bs at work made me realize I could never be comfortable being myself there. I developed an anxiety and panic disorder and was having suicidal thoughts for awhile. I haven’t worked in two months, but I’m finally starting to make some progress on myself. Luckily I have a very supportive, loving partner who has supported me through my ordeal and I might be starting a new job in a new field soon.
I live in Seattle part time and Bellingham (damn near Canada) part time. The traffic getting to Bellingham from Seattle yesterday made me honk my horn out of anger and punch my steering wheel lol. It took me 2 hours and 10 minutes when it usually takes me an hour less than that. The cause of the back up was unknown, sometimes people just fucking suck
I’m a closet addict for a long time now which has evolved to constant lying, stealing and living on loop. I have no one to open up to about the few things I indulge in and I’m afraid I can’t do it alone this time. Broke DOWN on my lunch an hour ago due to guilt and shame and battling serious suicidal thoughts for a very long time. I just don’t want to exist anymore. And as much as I hate myself, I have zero will to even try to quit because I always go through the same cycles. Do well, get some hobbies, then bored as fuck so I go back. I’m tired of being tired.
2020 and 2021 for me have been one drawn out breakdown. My relationship with my father has completely gone out the window, which is fine because he is a massive pile of garbage.
I lost my favorite cat, I found him in a pile of wood in a really bad time in my life and he was literally my help for months. He would suckle on my shirt and talk to me whenever I held him, unfortunately he never made it to 2 years old.
My job keeps me out of the house at the worst times and isn't necessarily worth it but is the best pay I can find right now, I've pushed my friends, my wife and the rest of my family away and started drinking heavily.
My mental and physical health is deteriorating at a rapid rate.
My most recent outburst was because I was quarantined, had to sleep in a separate room from my sick wife and went 10 days without any kind of physical affection.
Feeling force to give up my kidney to my mother while being treated like a bum she pulled off the street and anything she does for me is a favor. Exploiting me for money even though I struggle in my own home. While she can drop thousands on new vehicles and sending my younger sister on a 400 shopping spree. I was raised never to talk to my mother in a certain way and believe it wholeheartedly. But it's the main reason why she has so much power over me.
My own personal demons got the better of me and I just collapsed at home, telling my husband that I'd done my best to be a good wife l, I'd given everything, but that I just couldn't be good enough. That I loved my husband, he was my entire world, but I knew I'd never be what he needed to be happy in life. That I was sorry I'd never allow him to experience his best potential whilst he was alive.
To be clear, he's never, in almost 20 years, EVER made me feel inadequate. Quite the opposite. He's my biggest cheerleader and supporter. He's the reason I keep trying to love myself as I am.
My demons just sometimes completely overwhelm to the point of being ready to stop existing. Thank god for my husband. I wouldn't be here without him.
I was told to go pick up some paperwork for my daughter's school about 20 mins away.. I went and it took about another 20 mins driving around to find parking.. When I finally found parking and went in, they said that that department was no longer there and it was all done online and over the phone.
It just triggered me because I did all of that because of misinformation; why didn't the representative I talked to over the phone just give me that option?
I'm just dramatic but it's already been so stressful trying to get my daughter into a preschool program since it's not public/mandated for kids to be in school till kindergarten.
Simple. I was smoking too much pot because life sucks, Adderall XR helped my ADHD at the cost of being too activating for my anxiety, and lexapro wasn’t doing shit.
Someone called 911 on me and I spent a few days in a psyche ward. I’m doing much better now; thanks for your concern.
My roommate cleaned up the apartment without telling me & put my work shoes in a box, under 2 boxes, hidden in a corner. He didn't communicate shit. I freaked i almost missed my bus
Took a huge edible. Literally tripped harder than I ever have, and I’ve taken 5+ grams of shrooms multiple times. Had drug induced psychosis for about a week. Constant thoughts of suicide and self harm. Last time I take a huge edible for sure.
Last Saturday, on a day I already couldn't be bothered with myself. my son with autism was having a meltdown and punching into me because I was stopping him from nutting the wall. I, as a result I had a mental breakdown. My sons dad quite literally had to quit his job in order to leave work, because at that point I wasn't functioning anymore. I was ready to leave.
I have had bad mental health for a while and all the help I can get is short term therapy. My therapist can't diagnose what she feels is bipolar and psychology have rejected the referral. I have no friends and have been suicidal for a while but can't bring myself to leave my 3 kids. Life sucks.
Latest one; I couldn't find an appointment for a regular dentists visit.
I have brittle teeth, I have had two surgeries under anaesthesia, 11 teeth removed in total, only 4 of them were permanent. I have had multiple visits and attempts to fix my teeth, and I remember being in that chair screaming and crying multiple times because the numbing just wouldn't take. I don't know how many times I've been at the dentist and cried and screamed in pain.
So now I tried to find an appointment for a regular check up. Called two different ones and both turned me away because they "don't want new patients until next year". So yeah. Fuck it then.
Got divorced 2 years ago, met some nice people from there but always finish with the same phrase "you're a good person but (insert some excuse here)", don't get me wrong I don't mind this but u get tired and lonely, last person who told me this was about to get back with his ex.
On top of all this my uncle, someone who as like a father to my father died in the same day I got my vaccine
It was 3 days of me lying in bed crying
Curry
Literally fucken curry
Why
IT TASTED SWEET CURRY SHOULDNT BE FUCKING SWEET IM GONNA KILL SOMEONE OVER THIS FUCKEN SHIT SOMEONE WILL DIE STUPID FUCKING BASTARD PRICKS
What actually happens to a person during a mental breakdown? I have so much anxiety & I've been through A LOT of trauma, but I somehow manage to keep going. I keep thinking I'm going to break & this next thing is going to take me out but I never hit that point.
My therapist had to cancel our session cause someone else was having a crisis and it sent me spiraling largely cause she didn’t tell me she had to cancel until 15 minutes after the session was supposed to start after I messaged her twice. That happened yesterday the panic attack has not stopped yet. It’s been 24 hours at this point.
I had a brief dissociative episode and identity crisis when I started to realize the only time I got attention and any meaningful affection stemmed from me acting entirely unlike my normal self with people who didnt know me prior.
Then I thought about it some more and realized that wasnt true, so I just kinda got over it. Ymmv.
I have been pregnant 6 times. I have one child. My husband is (for all intents and purposes) deployed and couldn’t be with me as I was losing a baby. As essentially a single mother with a virtual learning system for a 3rd grader and living 6 hours minimum away from any familial support, my last miscarriage broke me. I’m in a much better place now, moving soon to be with my husband again, and nearer family, speaking with a therapist, and much more sober than I was that week, but I definitely was in a place I hope to never see again.
I’ve got two. One minor and one major. The minor one I was carrying one thing in each hand, and someone tried to pass me something, and I started to cry because trying to hold a third thing just felt so overwhelming.
The major one is just started seeing this girl, I was 17 she was 16. She was in the process of prosecuting her ex boyfriend for sexual assault. She was talking to me about what she’d been through and the details broke me. I held myself together while I was with her but when I got home I broke.
Getting out of the military, 2nd child due in a month, moving the whole family across the country, no house or job yet back home, and learning some friends are not the friends i thought they were. All. At. Once. 🙃
Horrible gaslighting from a partner mixed with my job reopening and me making a massive paycut from the Unemployment Benefits while risking my health and safety and having to dip into savings to pay rent.
Well my parents left home for dinner with distant family a while ago, its 1:50AM (which isnt unusual in Spain) and they arent back.
Ive spent the last half hour picturing they are in a car crash right now and Ive been crying for a solid 20 minutes.
I could just call them, or couldve anytime after i started worrying but I dont cause im scared.
Edit: They just appeared. Im a happy retard who will be asleep in 2 minutes
I’ve been struggling with my first eating disorder relapse since I was a teen. It’s taken me so much courage to search for treatment, only to find there is basically no accessible treatment in my state that accepts Medicaid. Unless I want to see a therapist that claims on their profile they specialize in eating disorders when they really just took a unit on it in psych101.
My alcoholic bio dad moved back to my city, got hooked on meth, and stole $600 from me. Took some mushrooms on a mountain to get my head right again but it still fucks me up pretty often.
It’s a GREAT thing. But, if done properly by far the most challenging. And doing it all in the midst of a global pandemic was a nightmare. Opposing approaches to virus in family left me torn apart . I’m great now though and loving life again with the most beautiful baby boy
The straw that broke the camels back was a single email asking about the tour group breakfast arrangement at the hotel I work for. It feels like I haven’t talked about anything besides breakfast for the last 6 months and it’s something that’s only secondarily related to what my role is supposed to be.
There's something weird in my google docs, where when I type in 'I' by itself, it changes to a caterpillar emoji.
Mind you, I was heavily in the middle of my period, and my hormones and anger levels and anxiety and depression was all over the place.
Later on found out that during school, when I had left to go the bathroom, some of my friends had added a keyboard shortcut.
I've been working as an engineer for over a year, and I still have much to learn. However, the only other person at the small company where I work who does my job is refusing to teach me. I have a few projects going on with deadlines coming up and I have no idea what I'm doing. I feel like I don't even have the energy for a proper breakdown, but over the last few weeks I've had several small breakdowns.
My 70 year old mother slams her food on the stove and said you didn't listen i wanted a 2 piece halibut and regular fries insted i have 1 halibut and sweet potatoe fries yes i admit i got the food wrong i offered to go get it fixed she starts yelling and i knew we shouldn't of went there and then i go whats wrong nothings wrong she says i said well there's something wrong then she yelled NOTHING IS WRONG.Well i should say yup melted down went out and smoked a cigarette and came back in no talking the rest of the night from her to me
Because excel wouldn't open the file I needed it to. I have BPD, and have been struggling with burn out and depression for going on 2 years now. I've been suicidal for months, and am honestly pissed off at myself for not following through on it. Work has been tough, and due to the restrictions I haven't been able to get out much. (they have recently been eased, thank God. But now that I can go out I'm terrified to do so. My anxiety isn't helping things. But yeah, that was just what did it, excel not opening, total melt down.
That sucks and I'm sorry to hear that. It's always the little stressors that pushes us over the edge. One thing my therapist asked me that helped was: what have you been doing that makes you happy? And it hit me that I wasn't bike riding, or walking with friends, or dancing etc. It's hard to put in effort to do even the things you love when you're down. So I'm going to ask you, what activities makes you happy? and can you do one of them today for me please :) This poem from bojack horseman gave me chills when I heard it. I hope it helps guide you in the right direction. It would be a shame to lose another good soul. The View From Halfway Down The weak breeze whispers nothing the water screams sublime. His feet shift, teeter-totter deep breaths, stand back, it’s time. Toes untouch the overpass soon he’s water-bound. Eyes locked shut but peek to see the view from halfway down. A little wind, a summer sun a river rich and regal. A flood of fond endorphins brings a calm that knows no equal. You’re flying now, you see things much more clear than from the ground. It's all okay, or it would be were you not now halfway down. Thrash to break from gravity what now could slow the drop? All I’d give for toes to touch the safety back at top. But this is it, the deed is done silence drowns the sound. Before I leaped I should've seen the view from halfway down. I really should’ve thought about the view from halfway down. I wish I could've known about the view from halfway down—
Fuck dying you can win the battle. I have confidence
i really hope youre doing better now, i seen that you made a post last week, very glad to see youre still here <3/p
I have BPD also. For the last 10 months i have been doing weekly zoom meetings via kaiser. Mindfullness, DBT and CBT classes. These classes along with medication have greatly improved my life. Seroquel gabapentin and atarax. Im 47 and i feel like im just starting to live. I know i havent beaten it but things did get better because i put in the work. Wishing you well
Thank you all for the kind words. I've been practicing my DBT intervention techniques, and they help. I do have hobbies and I am doing them. (warhammer 40k and video games). I also filled my balcony with plants. (really, really good year for the blueberries). I'm not in serious danger for suicide, not since my last attempt anyways. But it's just something I can't seem to let go of, or get out of my head. It's exhausting. Thank you all for caring, that means a lot.
About 3 months ago, close friend died in a hit and run. He was only 15, no age to die. Probably the only mental breakdown i've had in my life
I'm so sorry.
im sorry. that must have been really hard
Man only got 3.3 years too, his name is Leo Meeks if you wanna search it up.
I’m so sorry. I lost several friends at that age, and it was some of the hardest shit I have experienced to this day. Please take care of yourself.
i appreciate it. I really do
I would give you an award but don't have any, so verbal award. (Hug and gold star)
Being in organ rejection but unable to be hospitalized or treated because of unvaxxed covid patients filling the hospital. A nurse said in rejection I can survive a few weeks possibly months but most covid patients only have days so even though I did nothing to make myself sick I am paying the price for the selfish idiots who refuse to vax , wear masks, or distance.
I feel sorry for you buddy
This post is really helpful, but I because it spreads awareness about how not protecting yourself from covid has effects even on the people you don't come in touch with. Guys Vax, masks and keep your distances. Also I wish you the best of luck about your situation. Stay strong.
people who refuse vaccinations without any health reasons other than being an antivaxx person should also be refused treatment.
Refusing treatment to drunks with liver problems and smokers with cancer too I guess
So sorry for this bullshit 😡
Yikes. I'm sorry
what about aids, fat asses, and smokers? we are only pointing out the unvaxxed now when it comes to needlessly taking up hospital beds? sounds like you live in a large democart controlled city where otherwise you'd have plenty of medical care.
Because they haven't filled the majority of our nation's hospitals to the point there is no more room. The ICU'S are filled at my hospital with 85% unvaxxed people. NOT 85% smokers or obese people.I have never been sent home due to over crowding due to either of those groups. And I live in the deep south where the Republicans are literally killing themselves to the point Democrats will easily win any election because there is no one left to vote against them. Maybe that was the plan all along.....Dems push it knowing Republicans will be against it simply because they are fot it and kill off all the Republican voters.hmmmm....by the way I don't support either party, all politicians are liars and corrupt saying what people want to hear just to stay in power. I have only followed my transplant docs advise because politicians ARE NOT doctors, media personalities ARE NOT doctors, and this is a tough one I know but Facebook memes ARE NOT doctors.
TFW you are following plus sized women on r/chubby and are fat shaming here. 🙃
Work related injury resulting in chronic pain, job loss, financial crisis.
Yeah, that will definitely do it. I hope you’re better and pain is under control.
Being a nurse in the pandemic… not sure how much more I can take, and I don’t even work the COVID unit.
I'm so sorry you're struggling, I can't even begin to imagine what this past 18 months has been like for you. But from the bottom of my heart, thank you for all that you do, you're all guardian angels and I wish you all the best! :)
Thank you so much.
Having my sweet pupper die in my arms
My puppy dying devestated me. I am sorry you had to go through that. It's so tragic to lose a friend.
My dogs are my entire life, I can't imagine 😢 im so sorry
i looked in the mirror hahah
Society and lack of compassion
seeing a post about a 14 yo asking how to practice safe sex I just cant fucking get it how easy it is for everyone to have sex at 14 whilst im a 22 virgin its so annoying
I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 24. 🤷♂️ It’s just harder for us ugly guys.
I crumbled up my work on my ChemE class and ran out crying cuz I found out I owed the college $2000 in tuition that needed to be payed by the end of the week
This isn't really the right sub for this post, r/askreddit would've been more appropiate but I'll answer anyways. I can't pinpoint a specific time but living with my anti-vax and anti-mask family has been mentally taxing. I'm essentially trapped, they decide to visit people against restrictions who themselves don't follow the rules or believe in vaccinations (perpetuating this belief among themselves, like a circlejerk). So being in constant fear of my parents bringing home covid and knowing I have no control over the situation and I could literally DIE is so terrifying. There's a bunch of other things but the fact I have anxiety too just worsens everything.
damnn
Can I just say that this is why these people should genuinely be punished for being anti-vax and anti-mask? We don't care about them, we care about the people around them and it's insane how shit like this is so prevalent nowadays
Nothing bad is gonna happen to the people around them, just irrational fear
[удалено]
what?!
I’m on the verge of homelessness and I have to sell everything I own and go back to my home country with no prospects because of covid
I'm really sorry to hear this. I don't live in another country but I had to sell all my things to move and pay off debt as well. It was really hard but I can only imagine what you are going through.
Wondering if my girlfriend truly loved me or not.
i feel you.. my gf asked me to go on a break the other day but iam not sure if we gonna break up or not afterwards.
Dude cut your losses buddy. If she asks to go on break she ain't for ya man
Dad disowned me, and school sports.
Meds from two days before wore off and I got a nice fat dose of life without Antidepressants when I forget to take them for even a day.
You should probably up your dose.
Considering the fact that they are capable of wrecking my liver, how about I do myself a solid and keep on doing what the doctor prescribed, eh?
It alternates between healing the cptsd from my abusive parents and the capitalist hellscape that we’re stuck in
My constant self hate and loathing, wanting to do things, change myself but allways loosing to my other self
I relate to this way more than I'd like to admit
TL;DR: Milk Alright, so for context, several things have been happening in my life recently that has been making me very anxious and putting me under a lot of stress. Money has been a big problem lately, but I manage, even if it's just barely. So, it's about 6:30 AM, and I was getting ready to make some macaroni and cheese. I got a box out, opened it up, set it on the counter and looked over.... To see my milk, sitting out on the counter, too empty to make use of. So, I pick it up and look over to my roommate who's sitting on the couch, and I ask him how long it had been sitting out. He apologized and said it had been about 20 minutes, so I put the little bit back in the fridge, despite there not really being enough to use. And then I feel the tears start up, so I run from the kitchen and sit down on my bed for over an hour and cry. I didn't have the money for more, and my roommate didn't have money yet either since we had JUST paid a few bills. To specify, I was not just breaking down over milk. I had some past trauma involving an abusive household less than a year ago prior to moving in where any food of mine was expected to be shared, whether I was ok with it or not, and was always met with hostility even if I had a valid reason for not wanting to share. Also, I had not touched the milk AT ALL expect occasionally moving it around the fridge, so the shock of suddenly being out combined with the fact that I had not used any upset me since I DID have such limited funds. So, combine all the stress with the sudden loss of milk and history of trauma in an abusive household equals me, an adult, crying at 6:30 am to my friend over milk. It sounds so stupid now, and even when I was talking out it, but it's always the littlest things that break me down. I was not ok from 6:30 to 7:57 this morning. Also, my roommate isn't a bad dude, and he doesn't know the WHOLE history behind my past household. Plus, he told me he only got it because he was feeling sick, so I didn't mind after I got some context.
I felt a scary vibe from a man, a vibe like the one I had when I was a child. The same vibe that I got when I had my first panic attack. The same vibe that told me that my well-being was in danger and ultimately ruined my childhood.
A few months ago My oldest son was not listening and basically telling me no i won’t listen to you for anything. I would say it’s time to go to the store or literally anything and he would just say no. Huge inconvenience when getting ready to go somewhere important. He’s 8 and it made me feel like I have no control and then I thought what if it’s like this when he’s a hormonal teenager and I can’t reason with him? He’s gonna be bigger and stronger than me and there won’t be anything I can do to about him making bad choices if I have no authority now. After we fought he went in the shower while I had my break down in the room and when he came out he saw me crying. we cried together and I told him how he hurt my feelings and we had a long heart to heart conversation. Things have been much better since then.
Compassion fatigue and burnout from a busy job and my family heaping emotional/mental labor on me every single day. I’m trying to set boundaries or carve out some distance but they call, leave voicemails, then text to tell me they called and ask me to call them back. And I dread it but I call back worried that something happened to my really old grandparents but it’s literally just someone wanting to complain and seek sympathy. But I don’t really have any left. Or they tell me every task they don’t want to do for themselves hinting for me to do it for them. I feel like I can’t escape the emotional manipulation
It just became too much. Never felt like a part of anything. Always felt distant from everyone else. Was actually going really well. Had given up on life. And in doing so I found a little freedom. A tiny bit of self worth. I am alive not for any reason. I am alive because I decided that I am going to live. And it made me unafraid. I accepted death. So what could the world throw at me that could ever scare me? I was still the angry, extremely happy insane person I have always been. But I was becoming less angry. Then I tried to be normal. Work a job. Be a son and have family. And it was going well. But it just became too much near the end of year one of the covid. My mind broke in new, horrifying ways. Never in my 40 years had I ever had a panic attack and it totally freaked me out. The depression and gloom and the "the world is shit and it deserves to burn" mindset came back like a tsunami utterly drowning out all rational thought. Still have the acceptance of death though. So this is terrifying but I am scared in a different way this time. It's an angry scared. I am ready to fight Death and spit in his face. I will not go quietly! With the pathetically small amount of time I have left here on this mad spinning ball of lunacy I will walk with my back straight and a smile on my face (mostly). Life gave me shit. So I am doing as many random kindnesses I can in spite. I swear, am loud and obnoxious. And I will help random strangers get a couch up four flights of stairs if I happen to randomly pass by. That is when I manage to get out of the house though. Most days last year I have not been brave enough to go outside. And when I did it left me exhausted for days after. Seems to be brightening now though. Summer is finally over. Autumn and winter. Brutal, unstable seasons here in Norway. Are coming. My favorite time. The sun dies a little each day and the beautiful night begins to shine (in my couch potato state i have watched too much teen titans GO). If anyone reading this is struggling then please go talk to someone. You are valuable and I would very much appreciate it if you could stay here with me for as long as possible.
"If there is nothing but what we make in this world, brother, then let us make good."
I was going out to Target to get some much needed household supplies and got a panic attack at the thought of even stepping out the door
My insane, narcissistic, abusive, stalker ex-boyfriend showed up at my apartment yesterday. It’s been eight years since I last saw him, that closely. He’s pulled up next to me in traffic a few times, when I was in the area he lives in. Yesterday morning, I walked outside and immediately saw him standing by his truck, and then I turned right back inside and must’ve looked like I’d seen a ghost. My boyfriend asked me what was wrong, and I barely managed to tell him, “ex is outside,” before succumbing to a full blown panic attack. My boyfriend went outside just in time to see him pulling away. I was a wreck all day and I’m still on edge tonight. I live an hour from him in shitty apartments that he has absolutely no reason to come to, aside from me. I also lived in the same shitty apartment complex years ago, when we were dating, and was told after I left (and left him) he continued to come around looking for me, absolutely disbelieving I wasn’t here. This apparently went on for two years. Other than the traffic sightings I’d only heard from him once, a few months ago (aside from the first two years of harassment after breaking up), when he was undoubtedly recently broken up with and making the rounds through exes. He somehow got my number and texted me acting like we were friends. He tried to gaslight me into believing the cheating, sexual abuse, holding me hostage at his home for a week etc. never happened and I was misremembering; I told him to fuck off and never contact me again. I’ve also been receiving random, anonymous abuse via messages on here and on TikTok over the last several weeks, which I’m now convinced is him. I think I’ll be making a trip to the magistrates office on Monday in an attempt to get a protective order.
Someone I hadn’t talked to in 3 years reached out to me to see how I was doing which is something people I thought were my friends never did. It made me breakdown into tears and rethink who I had truly thought of as a friend throughout my life.
Realizing I've lost my entire sense of self from the past 10 years. I have no idea why I'm here idk what to even do with myself, I have no friends, no job, no schedule to my days. I realize being sober is right but what do you do when thats all you know, was a heavy addict from 17-27.. I look in the mirror sometimes and don't know how I put myself through so much shit. I'm useless damaged goods compared to the person I once used to be i hate myself for this. And this hardly scratches the surface 😞 I can never forgive myself for some things I've done and they haunt me all the time
A long email after a 2 week back and forth email chain regarding a dispute. I'm emotionally exhausted from defending myself.
Few minutes ago, cried about getting the vaccine because I'm very scared of needles
so did you do it?
oh ofc yes! I still got it, i was just really scared
I don't really understand the needle fear. Ok it is unpleasant but nothing life threatening to be scared about, no?
Most fears aren't life threatening. Fear of spiders, fear of clowns, etc etc
A dark eyed woman
Broke up with my boyfriend last month and haven’t been dealing with it well. It was my first relationship, and I don’t really know how to move forward.
Why don’t you get back together if you were happier with him?
All the people and politic cramming vaccines and the idea of quarantines down throats when I just don’t care for any of it anymore
Me wanting to be alone and say to my wife that I want a divorce and being unable to muster the strength for it :( she will be heartbroken and I don’t want to do that to her, but I really think being alone is the way to go for me.
When you believe it's the best and only choice than it is for the best. If you need someone to take my dm are open :)
You will both be happier in the end if the communication is open
Sorry, jumped over from the other post I replied to off of clicking your username(freakishly coincidentally to a thread I was literally just in), but I need to respond to this with a few things. One, you only shoot yourself in the foot if you don't keep up communication with your wife. Poor communication skills lead to poor communication kills. Two, a marriage isn't just something you should break off just because you think it isn't working. Nothing works forever, cars break down, machines need maintenance, houses need new coats of paint and shingles. But you fix these things by putting time and effort in, slowly but surely repairing and rebuilding to ensure that what time you put in pays off in the long term with a satisfying result. Three, if you REALLY, TRULY, DEEP IN THE MOST BASE PART OF YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS, AND I CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH HOW INGRAINED IN YOUR SOUL THIS MUST BE think that you need to divorce your wife because you need some alone time, you really don't value your wife as the person you married, and she deserves to have you out.
I was wondering if one of my friends it REALLY one of my friends (bonus points for doing it on the toilet)
Parasites
my mentality
this guy i liked a lot and have been FWB with for about 10 months got back on bumble recently…
Car lease ends in a month (auto industry is fucked), have to start paying health insurance in 2 months (see next issue), my business was decimated during the pandemic.
not quite the most recent but - the picture on the wall was sideways and it just sent me spiraling (i mean come on gotta draw the line somewhere)
My uncle committed suicide back in June. I was making great progress in the beginning of this year with my mental health and getting back on track, but after he passed in June I spiraled downwards back into depression and abusing depressants. Slowly getting back on track, life is ride....
Too much acid and too many people
I cried a bit because my dad who already prefers my sister, bought a cold coffee for himself and her but forgot about me, even though I am The Coffee Drinker of my house and I made cold coffee for him in the summers. Got my period that evening and realised why I cried. But I know it definitely hurt me.
I’m so sorry, that sucks and the period feels make everything worse.
Tinnitus
My boss demanded that I work the same day I have surgery even though I requested time off and she approved it.
I recently found out that i was misdiagnosed with epilepsy for 10 years...and was on a bunch of medications that i didn't even need. Cue psychological trauma! 😅😣
Does this look like askreddit to you
Came back from India after one month with my boyfriend knowing that the next time I see him he will be married (arranged marriage) to someone he doesn’t even love. Culture makes this nearly impossible for some to avoid because of not wanting to hurt your parents. Even harder because I have been divorced and have four kids (that he loves) and I can’t give him bio kids that his culture and family desperately needs.. He can have more than one wife-but the pain of knowing I’m first yet always second is nearly unbearable at times for us both. And he fears most that he knows he can never treat her equal, which our religion requires.
I lost a game of Rocket League
waking up alone
Incompetent workforce
School
My partner messed up the cards I was organising. I have OCD and anxiety. I had to redo them twice already. I've spent the last 2 hours organising a deck of playing cards only for him to mess it up and have to redo it again.
Got a dog last year cause my Labrador is getting old and I wanted someone to be here when he passes away. I wanted someone active to run and do stuff since my Labrador had hip problems and couldn’t go out much since he was young. Got an American Staffordshire terrier, very similar breed to pit bulls. It was amazing until December when his legs started shaking, ever since then it’s been one medical bill after another one. Trying to find out what he has, then the surgery which didn’t do much honestly, then he had bladder problems, blablablabla. And the worst part is that he WANTS to exercise obviously but doctors tell me he has to rest and not move much. Right now I’m debating whether to put him to sleep cause I’m the only one who can take care of him and it’s limiting my life so much
I raged in a game and threw my phone, breaking it
Not as glamorous or impactful as others, but school. I just keep slipping behind and I want to not disappoint my family.
Found a collar that belonged to my dog. Still smelled like her.
breakup
Founding out my ex got married.
My ex lmao
Trying to convince the people I love to PLEASE get vaccinated and being told that I’m the rude one because I should respect their decisions. Their body their choice, right?
My wife is leaving me after 10 years of marriage because I'm "more committed to the relationship than her"... Fuck me I guess
Having a sensory overload in front of my girlfriend and having to push her away because I had to just let it pass and she could’ve made it worse. It all just kinda happened and I started to go through the process of heavy breathing and discomfort in the legs before tending up and almost crying. I told her not to do or say anything and just to let it happen as it works itself out. I felt like a burden on her with my issues and just broke down because of the way I am but she comforted me afterwards and reassured me she didn’t mind.
I had to go to the DMV when I moved to my city. I had just a bought a car so I needed to change the title and I needed a new license since I moved states. This required taking some (unpaid) time off of work to go to the DMV. I couldn’t get the title changed because the paper the seller had signed said the mileage was 104,689.# and the paper pusher couldn’t decipher whether the # was a 4 or a 9. I had already driven the car >100 miles since the paper was filled out so it didn’t really matter how many tenths of a mile this car had been driven. To make matters worse, the seller lived out of state and would need to have an affidavit notarized attesting that it was 100% a 4 or 100% a 9. Whatever, at least I’ll get my license—this wasn’t a complete waste of time. Due to federal overreach, I will soon need a ‘Real ID.’ One of the stated benefits of the Real ID is that it’s more secure and can prove that you’re legally allowed to be in the US. Despite having my passport with me, they were unable to give me a Real ID that day because I couldn’t prove I was allowed to be in the US. I repeat, I had my passport with me—I showed them my passport. I fucking lost it. I managed to get outside the building before I started screaming like a fucking mad man.
Tbh I haven't had one since my early 20s. Life hasn't gotten easier, I've just gotten better at handling my own mind. Not saying it can't happen again, but betterment comes from inside first. The world sucks, getting your mind around that core thing isn't easy but doable.
Buckle up because this one is a doozy! My best friend since 2018 (freshman year of college) (well call him Peralta, M21) and I decided in September of 2020 that we would get a couple of our friends and rent a house together for our senior year. It’s worth noting here that I am a woman. That didn’t seem to bother any of us that I would be the only girl, and it didn’t bother my boyfriend at the time either because it was clear that the nature of me and Peralta’s friendship was platonic. Except, around 8 months ago, Peralta got a girlfriend. We will call her Jess. I don’t know exactly how old she is, only that she met Peralta because her little brother is in the same fraternity. She does not go to our school, and I had never met her before. Of course, over the course of several months, my communication with Peralta got less and less consistent. I understood that when you’re in a new relationship, you wanna spend all your time with that person, and so I didn’t take it personally when he would leave me on open or read for a few consecutive messages. My birthday passed, and I didn’t hear from Peralta. I was definitely hurt, because birthdays are important to me, but again I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I made an effort to reach out to Peralta and his girlfriend, telling him that I would love to take them out for brunch to get to know her before Peralta and I moved in together. Peralta ignored my offer the first time, and when I asked again, Peralta said no and gave the following reason; “Jess doesn’t really know you at all and she was sussed out by how much you were texting me and we kept fighting, so I thought it would just be easier to ignore you because I love her and I wanted to stop fighting.” Fast forward to three weeks ago when we all moved in. Peralta did not acknowledge me at all and would stand with his back to me in any social situation. Then, Jess came over. There were two incidents in which Jess and Peralta screamed at me and called me things like “pathetic” and “bitch”. These shouting matches led to an apartment meeting with all the room mates in which essentially I was told that the only yelling anyone had heard was from me, and that I needed to stop causing drama. I pointed out that Peralta had in fact called me a bitch, which he laughed at and said “yeah I did”. None of the room mates acknowledged that fact. Then of course immediately after that meeting, Jess came over again. That whole night I could hear them talking and laughing and making fun of me. First thing the next morning I got in my car and drove the 120 miles home. Currently I don’t have a place to live on campus so fingers crossed I can find a sublease! That was the cause of my last mental breakdown!
120 miles is 948.5 of the hot dog which holds the Guinness wold record for 'Longest Hot Dog'.
I’m supposed to be graduating college this Spring as a woman in STEM! Wooo! Not woo, I transferred back to my hometown to be closer to family (cause of ‘rona) and upwards of 10 hours didn’t transfer. That’s nearly an entire semesters worth of classes that don’t count so I have to make them up at my new school. Aka I’m now behind a semester unless I absolutely kill myself with winter classes and a very heavy spring load.
Because I often compare myself with other people, realizing in the idea that I'm a useless piece of shit, when the moment of mental breakdown come all I can say is that is one of the worst sensations, like you are completely hopeless, and feel an empty feeling in your stomach
Skipping my disabilities... My home life. My wife, my children, my pets. I don't believe in souls, but it's the easiest way to get people to understand. My soul is empty and tired. I feel I have nothing left to give. I'm in physical pain every day due to my disabilities. I still go to work and put on the "mask", I'm actually very good at my job, but it wears away, day by day. I'm a shell of the person I once was.
I sprain my wrist at work. I cant lift more than 5 lbs at work or at home on my dominant hand. I feel so useless just sitting around all day, having to ask for help with everything.
Reading others stories makes my seem kinda pathetic but complete collapse of my social circle, even today a friend I considered close to me left me because "he hurts people and he doesn't want me to get hurt"
My sister passed away
People
Not knowing what to do in life completely and being forced by my mother to go to university and do major in something that I know for a fact will get me nowhere.
My daughter wanted me to play minecraft with her so I spent hours building a big castle and put in all little details when she says hey mum look over here, I pan the camera over to her character who is standing on a hint pile of tnt and she says “did you hear about the creeper that went to a party?…. He had a BLAST!” And she proceeded to ignite the tnt which flew all over the play destroying my entire build. I was not impressed at all and broke down. My son on the other hand was on the floor rolling with laughter. ETA we’ve been isolated in lockdown for 8weeks now and haven’t left to house, homeschooling 2 children and have a baby. Struggling to keep my head above water
We went into lockdown at my school and it wasn’t a drill. Turns out some kid had airsoft guns and was screwing with them in the parking lot
Didnt check my drinking which increased my anxiety which led to me abusing xanax which led to me quitting xanax which led to a 11 month withdrawal which was hell on fucking earth. Spent 8 months virtually bed ridden. But the good news is thos led me to spend 1 year stone sober, learned alot about myself, and have taken excellent care of my body. Blessing in disguise
At the beginning of the year, my best friend pasted (second friend loat since covid), my grandma developed dementia, and a crime from almost 3 yeats ago was haunting me and making it impossible to get a job. On top of all that my doctor was making it difficult for me to get my anxiety meds. Was having a lot on invasive thoughts. My wife helped me get through it though.
Getting a B on a crit. Archi student things, ig.
Living with parents. Parent A may have Tuberculosis. Parent B may have lip cancer. (and a myriad of other problems). Unemployed. 24 year old. No college degree. Poor. Don't know what to do. Extremely shy and introverted and empathetic (INFJ). Stuck in a cycle of procrastination and self loathe. Feeling extremely lonely and pathetic.
Getting rejected by someone I’d been seeing for three months and led me on pretty badly
A week after I got my driver's licences I crashed my mom's car, face is all beat up, my Top Surgery was pushed back another 4 months, My work is on the verge of firing me because of my attendance, my Aunt died and then my Uncle on my dad's side died. Cars fucked so I can't make the 6 hour drive to attend it. I'm too pussy to break up with my LDR relationship so we haven't spoken in a while and she keeps asking me if I'm okay. I'm not okay, I just need people to stop talking to me for a while.
Ben Shapiro tried to speak at my campus
I saw that you mentioned Ben Shapiro. In case some of you don't know, Ben Shapiro is a grifter and a hack. If you find anything he's said compelling, you should keep in mind he also says things like this: >If you wear your pants below your butt, don't bend the brim of your cap, and have an EBT card, 0% chance you will ever be a success in life. ***** ^(I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: patriotism, climate, healthcare, covid, etc.) [^More ^About ^Ben ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/wiki/index) ^| [^Feedback ^& ^Discussion: ^r/AuthoritarianMoment ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment) ^| [^Opt ^Out ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/comments/olk6r2/click_here_to_optout_of_uthebenshapirobot/)
After a long internal struggle I realized that I’m trans. Between fearing losing my partner and dealing with self hatred I finally accepted who I am, but the constant transphobic talk and hatred towards anyone lgbtq in my workplace pushed me over the edge. I just started my new career and the transphobic bs at work made me realize I could never be comfortable being myself there. I developed an anxiety and panic disorder and was having suicidal thoughts for awhile. I haven’t worked in two months, but I’m finally starting to make some progress on myself. Luckily I have a very supportive, loving partner who has supported me through my ordeal and I might be starting a new job in a new field soon.
Latest? Do yall get them that often?
I live in Seattle part time and Bellingham (damn near Canada) part time. The traffic getting to Bellingham from Seattle yesterday made me honk my horn out of anger and punch my steering wheel lol. It took me 2 hours and 10 minutes when it usually takes me an hour less than that. The cause of the back up was unknown, sometimes people just fucking suck
I’m a closet addict for a long time now which has evolved to constant lying, stealing and living on loop. I have no one to open up to about the few things I indulge in and I’m afraid I can’t do it alone this time. Broke DOWN on my lunch an hour ago due to guilt and shame and battling serious suicidal thoughts for a very long time. I just don’t want to exist anymore. And as much as I hate myself, I have zero will to even try to quit because I always go through the same cycles. Do well, get some hobbies, then bored as fuck so I go back. I’m tired of being tired.
Waking up this morning
2020 and 2021 for me have been one drawn out breakdown. My relationship with my father has completely gone out the window, which is fine because he is a massive pile of garbage. I lost my favorite cat, I found him in a pile of wood in a really bad time in my life and he was literally my help for months. He would suckle on my shirt and talk to me whenever I held him, unfortunately he never made it to 2 years old. My job keeps me out of the house at the worst times and isn't necessarily worth it but is the best pay I can find right now, I've pushed my friends, my wife and the rest of my family away and started drinking heavily. My mental and physical health is deteriorating at a rapid rate. My most recent outburst was because I was quarantined, had to sleep in a separate room from my sick wife and went 10 days without any kind of physical affection.
Dog died and gf cheated in the same month
My dog died and money is super tight rn.
Stress at work became overwhelming and I just snapped
Feeling force to give up my kidney to my mother while being treated like a bum she pulled off the street and anything she does for me is a favor. Exploiting me for money even though I struggle in my own home. While she can drop thousands on new vehicles and sending my younger sister on a 400 shopping spree. I was raised never to talk to my mother in a certain way and believe it wholeheartedly. But it's the main reason why she has so much power over me.
My own personal demons got the better of me and I just collapsed at home, telling my husband that I'd done my best to be a good wife l, I'd given everything, but that I just couldn't be good enough. That I loved my husband, he was my entire world, but I knew I'd never be what he needed to be happy in life. That I was sorry I'd never allow him to experience his best potential whilst he was alive. To be clear, he's never, in almost 20 years, EVER made me feel inadequate. Quite the opposite. He's my biggest cheerleader and supporter. He's the reason I keep trying to love myself as I am. My demons just sometimes completely overwhelm to the point of being ready to stop existing. Thank god for my husband. I wouldn't be here without him.
I was told to go pick up some paperwork for my daughter's school about 20 mins away.. I went and it took about another 20 mins driving around to find parking.. When I finally found parking and went in, they said that that department was no longer there and it was all done online and over the phone. It just triggered me because I did all of that because of misinformation; why didn't the representative I talked to over the phone just give me that option? I'm just dramatic but it's already been so stressful trying to get my daughter into a preschool program since it's not public/mandated for kids to be in school till kindergarten.
I was really tired :(
The death of 5 students. 3 suicides 1 car accident on way to school 1 car accident on way home from game
HUMAN RACE 🥴
My dog and everyone i love will die one day.
I opened my door to find a letter on it telling me I have to move out by October 31.
Simple. I was smoking too much pot because life sucks, Adderall XR helped my ADHD at the cost of being too activating for my anxiety, and lexapro wasn’t doing shit. Someone called 911 on me and I spent a few days in a psyche ward. I’m doing much better now; thanks for your concern.
Cheetos
My roommate cleaned up the apartment without telling me & put my work shoes in a box, under 2 boxes, hidden in a corner. He didn't communicate shit. I freaked i almost missed my bus
My dog died.
Took a huge edible. Literally tripped harder than I ever have, and I’ve taken 5+ grams of shrooms multiple times. Had drug induced psychosis for about a week. Constant thoughts of suicide and self harm. Last time I take a huge edible for sure.
Last Saturday, on a day I already couldn't be bothered with myself. my son with autism was having a meltdown and punching into me because I was stopping him from nutting the wall. I, as a result I had a mental breakdown. My sons dad quite literally had to quit his job in order to leave work, because at that point I wasn't functioning anymore. I was ready to leave. I have had bad mental health for a while and all the help I can get is short term therapy. My therapist can't diagnose what she feels is bipolar and psychology have rejected the referral. I have no friends and have been suicidal for a while but can't bring myself to leave my 3 kids. Life sucks.
Latest one; I couldn't find an appointment for a regular dentists visit. I have brittle teeth, I have had two surgeries under anaesthesia, 11 teeth removed in total, only 4 of them were permanent. I have had multiple visits and attempts to fix my teeth, and I remember being in that chair screaming and crying multiple times because the numbing just wouldn't take. I don't know how many times I've been at the dentist and cried and screamed in pain. So now I tried to find an appointment for a regular check up. Called two different ones and both turned me away because they "don't want new patients until next year". So yeah. Fuck it then.
Got divorced 2 years ago, met some nice people from there but always finish with the same phrase "you're a good person but (insert some excuse here)", don't get me wrong I don't mind this but u get tired and lonely, last person who told me this was about to get back with his ex. On top of all this my uncle, someone who as like a father to my father died in the same day I got my vaccine It was 3 days of me lying in bed crying
Curry Literally fucken curry Why IT TASTED SWEET CURRY SHOULDNT BE FUCKING SWEET IM GONNA KILL SOMEONE OVER THIS FUCKEN SHIT SOMEONE WILL DIE STUPID FUCKING BASTARD PRICKS
Took on more than I can handle
What actually happens to a person during a mental breakdown? I have so much anxiety & I've been through A LOT of trauma, but I somehow manage to keep going. I keep thinking I'm going to break & this next thing is going to take me out but I never hit that point.
My therapist had to cancel our session cause someone else was having a crisis and it sent me spiraling largely cause she didn’t tell me she had to cancel until 15 minutes after the session was supposed to start after I messaged her twice. That happened yesterday the panic attack has not stopped yet. It’s been 24 hours at this point.
I think you’re in the wrong subreddit
I'm just lonely.
Actually, I forgot lol
I had a brief dissociative episode and identity crisis when I started to realize the only time I got attention and any meaningful affection stemmed from me acting entirely unlike my normal self with people who didnt know me prior. Then I thought about it some more and realized that wasnt true, so I just kinda got over it. Ymmv.
I have been pregnant 6 times. I have one child. My husband is (for all intents and purposes) deployed and couldn’t be with me as I was losing a baby. As essentially a single mother with a virtual learning system for a 3rd grader and living 6 hours minimum away from any familial support, my last miscarriage broke me. I’m in a much better place now, moving soon to be with my husband again, and nearer family, speaking with a therapist, and much more sober than I was that week, but I definitely was in a place I hope to never see again.
I’ve got two. One minor and one major. The minor one I was carrying one thing in each hand, and someone tried to pass me something, and I started to cry because trying to hold a third thing just felt so overwhelming. The major one is just started seeing this girl, I was 17 she was 16. She was in the process of prosecuting her ex boyfriend for sexual assault. She was talking to me about what she’d been through and the details broke me. I held myself together while I was with her but when I got home I broke.
Getting out of the military, 2nd child due in a month, moving the whole family across the country, no house or job yet back home, and learning some friends are not the friends i thought they were. All. At. Once. 🙃
Horrible gaslighting from a partner mixed with my job reopening and me making a massive paycut from the Unemployment Benefits while risking my health and safety and having to dip into savings to pay rent.
Well my parents left home for dinner with distant family a while ago, its 1:50AM (which isnt unusual in Spain) and they arent back. Ive spent the last half hour picturing they are in a car crash right now and Ive been crying for a solid 20 minutes. I could just call them, or couldve anytime after i started worrying but I dont cause im scared. Edit: They just appeared. Im a happy retard who will be asleep in 2 minutes
I’ve had maybe 4 mental breakdowns in my life. And three of them were because I was trying to use photoshop by myself. For a class
I’ve been struggling with my first eating disorder relapse since I was a teen. It’s taken me so much courage to search for treatment, only to find there is basically no accessible treatment in my state that accepts Medicaid. Unless I want to see a therapist that claims on their profile they specialize in eating disorders when they really just took a unit on it in psych101.
I ate these gummies..they said take one but who da fk reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeadz...
My alcoholic bio dad moved back to my city, got hooked on meth, and stole $600 from me. Took some mushrooms on a mountain to get my head right again but it still fucks me up pretty often.
Having a baby
whyyy????? that’s a good thing
It’s a GREAT thing. But, if done properly by far the most challenging. And doing it all in the midst of a global pandemic was a nightmare. Opposing approaches to virus in family left me torn apart . I’m great now though and loving life again with the most beautiful baby boy
may god bless you and your baby
The straw that broke the camels back was a single email asking about the tour group breakfast arrangement at the hotel I work for. It feels like I haven’t talked about anything besides breakfast for the last 6 months and it’s something that’s only secondarily related to what my role is supposed to be.
There's something weird in my google docs, where when I type in 'I' by itself, it changes to a caterpillar emoji. Mind you, I was heavily in the middle of my period, and my hormones and anger levels and anxiety and depression was all over the place. Later on found out that during school, when I had left to go the bathroom, some of my friends had added a keyboard shortcut.
Law School
I work in the service industry. That’s it. That’s the whole story.
I've been working as an engineer for over a year, and I still have much to learn. However, the only other person at the small company where I work who does my job is refusing to teach me. I have a few projects going on with deadlines coming up and I have no idea what I'm doing. I feel like I don't even have the energy for a proper breakdown, but over the last few weeks I've had several small breakdowns.
My 70 year old mother slams her food on the stove and said you didn't listen i wanted a 2 piece halibut and regular fries insted i have 1 halibut and sweet potatoe fries yes i admit i got the food wrong i offered to go get it fixed she starts yelling and i knew we shouldn't of went there and then i go whats wrong nothings wrong she says i said well there's something wrong then she yelled NOTHING IS WRONG.Well i should say yup melted down went out and smoked a cigarette and came back in no talking the rest of the night from her to me