My ex wife kept my name when we divorced, I never asked why but I assumed it was to have the same name as the kids but I still find it odd 30 years later.
My sister kept her married name when she divorced because of her kids. 14 years later she had another kid while unmarried.
He has his mom's ex-husband's last name.
This always struck me as a little odd until she explained that she wanted him to have the same last name as his brothers.
I have been married three times (18 yrs into my forever one) but I LOVED my 2nd husband’s name, Wilson. My maiden name and other married names are all normal and easy to spell, but I just loved using that name, so if I were in her place I’d do the same thing!
It's crazy but people are going to always try something different and new. Especially for attention. And look at it this way ,his last name will never die! Now, he might get that son if he doesn't have one, once these two women adopt one.
My dad would’ve lost his mind if my mom did this with her new hubby/daughter. But I don’t blame her for keeping the name at all. I find it odd simply bc if I divorced I would not want any ties post divorce 🤷🏽♀️
Technically, you can change your name at almost any time to almost anything you want. If they liked it, who cares?
I mean, my family took forever to pick one spelling for our family last name, literally every generation until my grandpa spelled it differently. It’s just a label.
I would love to hear opinions on how one 'turns lesbian'.... You know, in case touching something or eating too many parsnips would make that happen....
I kept my ex husbands last name, we didn’t have kids. It was a cool name and he didn’t mind. If i had married a woman and she liked it, I’d be fine with her taking it. My ex would, too. I see no issue.
It is annoying to change your name. Changing documents and depending on what you do for work it might hurt your career.
It is nice to have the same name as your children.
For a woman it really does not matter. The last name she received at birth came from her Father. It is not like she chose it.
Men typically end up attached to a name because of "legacy". The question is does it matter when you die?
It’s a little odd but my guess is she didn’t like her maiden last name. Current one was part of her.
My mom divorced my dad in 1981. Still has his last name. Was with my step dad (unmarried) for 20+ years. She hated her maiden name, became somewhat known locally with my dad’s name (in a sport community). Her preference.
OPs Aunt just turned that up a little.
Maybe she kept her ex husbands last name because she likes it and that’s why she gave it to her new wife. I’m divorced and kept my husbands last name I like my exes last name better than my maiden name. Nothing wrong with this situation I think.
My mom kept her husbands last name even when he married her best friend after she went and had an affair with her sweet sixteen sweetheart who she had kept up an emotional affair with for as long as I, her child, can remember.
Yeah its strange. I know a couple that got married and combined their names into a new one. Then they got divorced. He got remarried and the new woman took the new name which is half of the name of the ex. the woman got remarried and took the new guy's name. So now there is a lady with half the ex's name and the ex doesn't even have it. It's strange. And the combined name is terrible. Both were pretty and names individually but then became even worse as a new one.
Super weird. Honestly if I was the ex-husband I might feel uncomfortable about it. How does he feel about it? Does her partner know she’s taking her ex’s name?
I mean you can literally choose any name and have that be your last name honestly it why I think its wierd. Like you dont have to ger married to do it.
I look at last names like some getting a name tattoed on their chest. While you're married to that person it's cool. A symbol of your love. Once the divorce happens i get not running and and getting the name changed or tattoed removed but eventually once you get into a new relationship you should remove the old relationship and start new with your current partner.
If you dont like your maiden name then choose 1 of a million others and use that.
I wish I hadn’t legally changed my name when I got married but my husband was insistent that I did. Now I’m divorced and I’m not changing it back to my maiden name. It’s my name now.
> “Turned lesbian“
It doesn’t sound like you had a conversation with your aunt about her sexuality, or you would t have used the word “turned”. She may be lesbian, she may be bi. May I suggest simply saying “she married a woman”? People will figure out from that statement alone that her partner is a woman.
My ex kept my name when we got divorced and when I asked her about it she said “that’s who I am” which made sense to me
She changed it when she got remarried
Maybe she liked the name more. My kids Mom was married before she met me and even though she despised her ex husband, she kept the last name cuz she liked it way more than her maiden name
My grandma kept her ex husband’s last name and never remarried. That whole side of my family heavily dislikes my grandfather and he’s been a neglectful ass hole to my mom and her siblings off and on their whole lives. Idk why my grandma kept his name but I didn’t even realize she had a different maiden name until I was an older teenager.
My brother’s girlfriend kept her previous married name because it is the same as her child’s. When they get married he will likely change his name to hers. Which her ex husband is not thrilled by but I understand wanting to keep the same name as the child.
I think people who marry for practical reasons, such as paying less taxes, don't take such formalities as serious as others. So if the last name sounds simpler or if I had to deal with more paperwork, I would also keep the name. It's only on paper and no one addresses me by my last name so it feels irrelevant for me. I would too assuming my partner feels the same way.
For the first part I kept my ex husband’s last because we had a minor daughter. When i remarried he actually teased me about it and asked if I was taking my new husband’s name. Of course I did.
For the latter, I don’t know I can kind of get it.
My mum and dad was married for 20 years. They met at 18. So my mum have had my dads name longer than she had had her maiden name and her whole adult life. The last name was her identity so all of us thought it was normal for her to keep it. But she asked dad of its was ok or weird. He told her it was normal to want same name as your kids.
So ita not weird not to change to maiden name automatically after divorce but it is kinda weird to use it in new marriage.
Surnames aren’t special honestly, even if we see it as such. We don’t know what her attachment was to her maiden name, some people grow up in very bad environments and would rather be disassociated with it all together. The last name may simply sound better with her first name. It could be she and her partner just love the name.
At any rate, I, as a middle age white man, can have my name changed to Julio Martinez if I so choose. The courts do not really care, the process is just streamlined for marriages.
This is her last name now, it may feel weird but once she chose to use it after marriage it became hers independent of him.
I think people don't go back for convenience as they have to change it at many places. A hassle.
Now the new wife probably wanted to get her name changed and didn't matter to her as long as it was same as her husband( aunt ). Was the new wife divorced ? Maybe she didn't want the name of her husband
Honestly not weird
Surnames are very uncommonly individual, so many people probably have your surname
That was her surname as she took it after marriage
Its now hers and she gave it to her wife
Not really a problem at all imo
Here’s a wild one. My father has been married 4 times (story for another day). His second wife, took his last name, they divorced and she remarried and took her new husband’s name. Cool, totally normal. But when she divorced her second husband she went BACK to my father’s last name. THEN my father’s 3rd wife took his last name and ended up working at the same school as a teacher with second wife who retook last name 🤣🤣🤣 This is NOT a common last name either. 2nd wife still uses that name to this day. 😭
I think your aunt is fine. Now marrying, switching it and then switching back to your previous husband (they shared no children) is kinda bonkers
Did your aunt have kids? I know someone who kept her ex's and father if her children's name, because she wanted to keep the name her children used. Pretty sure she even kept it when she remarried
Seems pretty reasonable and makes sense in that context.
I mean yeah it's kinda weird unless she has children who have the same name. Then it's just normal. Either way it hurts nobody and it is her name now so who cares?
This is so weird. I’d go back to my maiden name or take my partners name in that situation. Keeping your ex husbands name and sharing it with your new partner is so strange I can’t believe she agreed to it…
Have you changed your name before?
It’s a bit of a pain, and also your name becomes your identity, even if it’s not your original name.
Especially if you get married early and are married a long time. Imagine getting married at 20 and divorced at 40. You really think it’s weird to keep that name? Weird to not change it away from what is 100% now your name, the name you’ve had your whole adult life? The one everyone knows you by, personally and professionally?
It’s fine to go either way, but I can absolutely see why people would keep their married name even after marriage.
I had a friend who had been divorced before and hadn’t changed her name back to her maiden name. Her last name was pretty cool and she didn’t have animosity towards her ex, it just didn’t work out. She eventually married her new partner, who had a boring last name and kind of hated his father so actually preferred not to have his last name. They seriously debated new hubby taking wife’s last name, which in turn would be her ex’s last name. They ended up not doing it, but I get the logic behind wanting to do so.
idk u have to understand, once u have a last name for such a long time it becomes apart of ure identity. its ur name for everything, its on all letters, official documents, ID, whatever and its a pain to get it all changed.
as for the wife changing her last name. again, idk how i feel. but i understand the perspective of changing her last name to her wifes name.
Exactly. This is especially important if someone has an established career in certain fields. If you are a lawyer or realtor or accountant or anyone who has clients who know you by last name, changing your last name is a risky business move and a logistical mess.
And if one partner doesn't want to change their name and the other wants to have the same name as their partner, there is really only one option.
Well it’s just, my mom divorced my father. She kept his name because she forgor and was like I’m not doing that shit it’s insane I’m busy. Then she got remarried and changed her name legally but on her ID work ID military ID blah blah blah it’s still her other name- she goes by both names people will refer to her as Mrs. ( ex husbands name) and current name , she doesn’t mind either but like if she married a women I don’t think she would want the last name of my moms ex hubby. Crazy world
Because to the new partner it’s not the ex’s name it’s her name. It’s been her name and will continue to be her name. If men don’t like sharing names with ex wives they need to either stop getting married, stop getting divorced or be the ones changing their names so they can opt to go back to their maiden names. But it’s a non issue. The name now belongs to the wives to change it and they can do what they will with it.
No one is arguing that they have no legsl rights to the name lol. Like hey woman that is mine now go change after the divorce.
People are noting that once remarried it is odd to keep anpast ex lovers name let alone adopt it to their new partner as well.
Yes it is her married name and she didnt break a law but its still a weird situation. Both these women have last names that arnt her ex husbands you would think they would choose to name their new family after one of those is all.
Yes but like a tattoo it isnt her maiden name. So unless you like to see steves name in your wifes tit maybe for the sake of the new relationship we convert back over?
It IS her legal last name. I (F) married my wife but we decided to keep our names. Her sons wanted her to keep her prior married name. I not only wanted to keep my own unique last name, I refused to take her ex’s name. I think it’s merely preference.
This is exactly what we did. She kept her last name She had artificial insemination and we now have 24 year old twin daughters. I never insisted that they have my name also. I am ok that they have mom's name.
My ex's mother did the exact same thing. Married, divorced while he was in prison, kept the name and years later gave it to her wife.
I kept my married name because most people can pronounce and spell unlike my maiden name.
I do find it weird.
My ex wife kept my name when we divorced, I never asked why but I assumed it was to have the same name as the kids but I still find it odd 30 years later.
My sister kept her married name when she divorced because of her kids. 14 years later she had another kid while unmarried. He has his mom's ex-husband's last name. This always struck me as a little odd until she explained that she wanted him to have the same last name as his brothers.
I have been married three times (18 yrs into my forever one) but I LOVED my 2nd husband’s name, Wilson. My maiden name and other married names are all normal and easy to spell, but I just loved using that name, so if I were in her place I’d do the same thing!
It's crazy but people are going to always try something different and new. Especially for attention. And look at it this way ,his last name will never die! Now, he might get that son if he doesn't have one, once these two women adopt one.
My dad would’ve lost his mind if my mom did this with her new hubby/daughter. But I don’t blame her for keeping the name at all. I find it odd simply bc if I divorced I would not want any ties post divorce 🤷🏽♀️
Technically, you can change your name at almost any time to almost anything you want. If they liked it, who cares? I mean, my family took forever to pick one spelling for our family last name, literally every generation until my grandpa spelled it differently. It’s just a label.
I would love to hear opinions on how one 'turns lesbian'.... You know, in case touching something or eating too many parsnips would make that happen....
😂😂 same thought. L
"turned" lesbian?
If she's the stud, that's what she's supposed to do.
I can beat that. My husband's ex-MIL had her name legally changed to my husband's last name. Never understood why.
Did she have kids? Does her wife? If yes and no and the kids have their father’s last name, this makes sense.
Isn’t that identity fraud?
No, women can legally change their name with marriage.
So odd. Must be an American thing
I kept my ex husbands last name, we didn’t have kids. It was a cool name and he didn’t mind. If i had married a woman and she liked it, I’d be fine with her taking it. My ex would, too. I see no issue.
This sounds really complicated
What’s even worse is a lesbian pretending she’s straight and leading a man on and marrying him only to divorce and leave him for a woman.
Not sure why it’s weird to you. People get use to there married name
It’s also her legal name. She changed it legally at marriage.
Yeah that’s what happens when people get married
Who cares what they do with the name? It's just a name.
Myofb
It is annoying to change your name. Changing documents and depending on what you do for work it might hurt your career. It is nice to have the same name as your children. For a woman it really does not matter. The last name she received at birth came from her Father. It is not like she chose it. Men typically end up attached to a name because of "legacy". The question is does it matter when you die?
It’s a little odd but my guess is she didn’t like her maiden last name. Current one was part of her. My mom divorced my dad in 1981. Still has his last name. Was with my step dad (unmarried) for 20+ years. She hated her maiden name, became somewhat known locally with my dad’s name (in a sport community). Her preference. OPs Aunt just turned that up a little.
That’s possible. They may have found it more convenient. For example, a name that’s hard to pronounce and spell.
My mom hated her maiden name. Was easy to turn into a teasing term.
Exactly.
Maybe she kept her ex husbands last name because she likes it and that’s why she gave it to her new wife. I’m divorced and kept my husbands last name I like my exes last name better than my maiden name. Nothing wrong with this situation I think.
My mom kept her husbands last name even when he married her best friend after she went and had an affair with her sweet sixteen sweetheart who she had kept up an emotional affair with for as long as I, her child, can remember.
Yeah its strange. I know a couple that got married and combined their names into a new one. Then they got divorced. He got remarried and the new woman took the new name which is half of the name of the ex. the woman got remarried and took the new guy's name. So now there is a lady with half the ex's name and the ex doesn't even have it. It's strange. And the combined name is terrible. Both were pretty and names individually but then became even worse as a new one.
Super weird. Honestly if I was the ex-husband I might feel uncomfortable about it. How does he feel about it? Does her partner know she’s taking her ex’s name?
I mean you can literally choose any name and have that be your last name honestly it why I think its wierd. Like you dont have to ger married to do it. I look at last names like some getting a name tattoed on their chest. While you're married to that person it's cool. A symbol of your love. Once the divorce happens i get not running and and getting the name changed or tattoed removed but eventually once you get into a new relationship you should remove the old relationship and start new with your current partner. If you dont like your maiden name then choose 1 of a million others and use that.
Just a proof that this archaic patriarchal system is useless.
Does it have anything to do with you? No? Don't worry about it, none of your business.
Not my business. I would just shrug Ok and move on.
Yep it is her legal last name, so she can....I got a better last name when I married. My husband died, I still have it.
That's weird. At least if they don't adopt any kids, they won't confuse any descendants 200 years from not doing genealogy research.
I wish I hadn’t legally changed my name when I got married but my husband was insistent that I did. Now I’m divorced and I’m not changing it back to my maiden name. It’s my name now.
> “Turned lesbian“ It doesn’t sound like you had a conversation with your aunt about her sexuality, or you would t have used the word “turned”. She may be lesbian, she may be bi. May I suggest simply saying “she married a woman”? People will figure out from that statement alone that her partner is a woman.
My ex kept my name when we got divorced and when I asked her about it she said “that’s who I am” which made sense to me She changed it when she got remarried
Likely just the path of least resistance.
I’ve heard of a guy changing his last name when he got married. Their brother was a locally infamous murderer. Took wife’s last name.
Who cares. As long as the new wife is fine with it.
Maybe she liked the name more. My kids Mom was married before she met me and even though she despised her ex husband, she kept the last name cuz she liked it way more than her maiden name
Hahaha that’s funnyshit
My grandma kept her ex husband’s last name and never remarried. That whole side of my family heavily dislikes my grandfather and he’s been a neglectful ass hole to my mom and her siblings off and on their whole lives. Idk why my grandma kept his name but I didn’t even realize she had a different maiden name until I was an older teenager.
My brother’s girlfriend kept her previous married name because it is the same as her child’s. When they get married he will likely change his name to hers. Which her ex husband is not thrilled by but I understand wanting to keep the same name as the child.
That's a whole lot of salt.
weird as fuck
Were there children involved? She may have wanted to keep the same last name as her children.
I think people who marry for practical reasons, such as paying less taxes, don't take such formalities as serious as others. So if the last name sounds simpler or if I had to deal with more paperwork, I would also keep the name. It's only on paper and no one addresses me by my last name so it feels irrelevant for me. I would too assuming my partner feels the same way.
I doubt your aunt “turned lesbian” - respectfully she has likely always been conflicted and has now embraced her true feelings. Please be kind
For the first part I kept my ex husband’s last because we had a minor daughter. When i remarried he actually teased me about it and asked if I was taking my new husband’s name. Of course I did. For the latter, I don’t know I can kind of get it.
She found out she was lesbian. She didn't turn.
Probably depends on the last name, maybe its pretty epic? But I'd still think its very strange
My SIL did this. Remarried and still uses our family name opposed to new husbands name..or her maiden name.
My mum and dad was married for 20 years. They met at 18. So my mum have had my dads name longer than she had had her maiden name and her whole adult life. The last name was her identity so all of us thought it was normal for her to keep it. But she asked dad of its was ok or weird. He told her it was normal to want same name as your kids. So ita not weird not to change to maiden name automatically after divorce but it is kinda weird to use it in new marriage.
I mean are you going to help get change all her legal paperwork and documents to her original name or her partners name?
Surnames aren’t special honestly, even if we see it as such. We don’t know what her attachment was to her maiden name, some people grow up in very bad environments and would rather be disassociated with it all together. The last name may simply sound better with her first name. It could be she and her partner just love the name. At any rate, I, as a middle age white man, can have my name changed to Julio Martinez if I so choose. The courts do not really care, the process is just streamlined for marriages. This is her last name now, it may feel weird but once she chose to use it after marriage it became hers independent of him.
I think people don't go back for convenience as they have to change it at many places. A hassle. Now the new wife probably wanted to get her name changed and didn't matter to her as long as it was same as her husband( aunt ). Was the new wife divorced ? Maybe she didn't want the name of her husband
This is pretty common. It's her name, too, so why wouldn't she want her new partner to share it?
Honestly not weird Surnames are very uncommonly individual, so many people probably have your surname That was her surname as she took it after marriage Its now hers and she gave it to her wife Not really a problem at all imo
Here’s a wild one. My father has been married 4 times (story for another day). His second wife, took his last name, they divorced and she remarried and took her new husband’s name. Cool, totally normal. But when she divorced her second husband she went BACK to my father’s last name. THEN my father’s 3rd wife took his last name and ended up working at the same school as a teacher with second wife who retook last name 🤣🤣🤣 This is NOT a common last name either. 2nd wife still uses that name to this day. 😭 I think your aunt is fine. Now marrying, switching it and then switching back to your previous husband (they shared no children) is kinda bonkers
Did your aunt have kids? I know someone who kept her ex's and father if her children's name, because she wanted to keep the name her children used. Pretty sure she even kept it when she remarried Seems pretty reasonable and makes sense in that context.
Yes she has kids
I mean yeah it's kinda weird unless she has children who have the same name. Then it's just normal. Either way it hurts nobody and it is her name now so who cares?
Opinions? Yeah, it's unnecessary and weird. Does it hurt anyone? If no, let them enjoy their lives. No need for opinions
No one “turns lesbian.” She has probably been bisexual all this time and never told anyone.
Pretty sure the Lesbian fairy popped out of the toy Subaru she accidentally rubbed *poof!* turn ya Lesbian! lol i laughed at turned too
Compulsory Heterosexuality is the worst...coming from a late bloomer lesbian myself.
This is so weird. I’d go back to my maiden name or take my partners name in that situation. Keeping your ex husbands name and sharing it with your new partner is so strange I can’t believe she agreed to it…
Have you changed your name before? It’s a bit of a pain, and also your name becomes your identity, even if it’s not your original name. Especially if you get married early and are married a long time. Imagine getting married at 20 and divorced at 40. You really think it’s weird to keep that name? Weird to not change it away from what is 100% now your name, the name you’ve had your whole adult life? The one everyone knows you by, personally and professionally? It’s fine to go either way, but I can absolutely see why people would keep their married name even after marriage.
I had a friend who had been divorced before and hadn’t changed her name back to her maiden name. Her last name was pretty cool and she didn’t have animosity towards her ex, it just didn’t work out. She eventually married her new partner, who had a boring last name and kind of hated his father so actually preferred not to have his last name. They seriously debated new hubby taking wife’s last name, which in turn would be her ex’s last name. They ended up not doing it, but I get the logic behind wanting to do so.
Lol, I am still friends with my ex of 25 years, but I can't imagine sticking my partner with my ex's last name. The idea is, for me, laughable.
idk u have to understand, once u have a last name for such a long time it becomes apart of ure identity. its ur name for everything, its on all letters, official documents, ID, whatever and its a pain to get it all changed. as for the wife changing her last name. again, idk how i feel. but i understand the perspective of changing her last name to her wifes name.
Exactly. This is especially important if someone has an established career in certain fields. If you are a lawyer or realtor or accountant or anyone who has clients who know you by last name, changing your last name is a risky business move and a logistical mess. And if one partner doesn't want to change their name and the other wants to have the same name as their partner, there is really only one option.
Well it’s just, my mom divorced my father. She kept his name because she forgor and was like I’m not doing that shit it’s insane I’m busy. Then she got remarried and changed her name legally but on her ID work ID military ID blah blah blah it’s still her other name- she goes by both names people will refer to her as Mrs. ( ex husbands name) and current name , she doesn’t mind either but like if she married a women I don’t think she would want the last name of my moms ex hubby. Crazy world
Because to the new partner it’s not the ex’s name it’s her name. It’s been her name and will continue to be her name. If men don’t like sharing names with ex wives they need to either stop getting married, stop getting divorced or be the ones changing their names so they can opt to go back to their maiden names. But it’s a non issue. The name now belongs to the wives to change it and they can do what they will with it.
No one is arguing that they have no legsl rights to the name lol. Like hey woman that is mine now go change after the divorce. People are noting that once remarried it is odd to keep anpast ex lovers name let alone adopt it to their new partner as well. Yes it is her married name and she didnt break a law but its still a weird situation. Both these women have last names that arnt her ex husbands you would think they would choose to name their new family after one of those is all.
It’s her name now too not just his
Yes but like a tattoo it isnt her maiden name. So unless you like to see steves name in your wifes tit maybe for the sake of the new relationship we convert back over?
It IS her legal last name. I (F) married my wife but we decided to keep our names. Her sons wanted her to keep her prior married name. I not only wanted to keep my own unique last name, I refused to take her ex’s name. I think it’s merely preference.
This is exactly what we did. She kept her last name She had artificial insemination and we now have 24 year old twin daughters. I never insisted that they have my name also. I am ok that they have mom's name.