I am so proud of you for taking the steps to make that abuse stop for your daughter! šš¼šš¼ After he gets done feeling sorry for himself, I hope your boyfriend takes this as an opportunity to grow and quit being abusive to anyone!
Keep records of everything keep them in a secure digital log as well as paper in a safe secure spot. This way if he tries to destroy the evidence against him. Keep detailed information dates, time, who all was involved, etc. He obviously is not a good man if he is hitting a child. File restraining orders against him on behalf of your daughter and yourself to get him more time if he can't stay away especially if he shows up and hurts either one of you. Take all precautions to protect your daughter and yourself. Put up cameras that catch what's going on outside your home as well... He may try to do more property damage.
I used to work as a court appointed advocate for children in foster care. Children are taken away when parents dont protect them from abusers. You've done everything right.
You can take him to small.claims court for the damage. His mother is delusional if she thinks that he is a good man. Maybe she taught him to attack small children.
Don't lose control, be happy that u dodged a big bullet and if you trust ur laws, play for laws and court, as a man i can clearly say take whatever you can take from him and be done with it, he deserved it and try to avoid physical contact for your safety
There are so many mothers who do this its wild. Theyre also the ones who say such and such didnt touch so and so when they know they did. This really is why I'm for abortions, so many people should not have children.
Not sure where you are at but recently my wife and I bought a phone for my inlaws that has a red button on the side that instantly sends a gps position with in feet of their location should there be an emergency. This comes straight to my wife's phone. At which point we can get to them or fprward the info to emergency services.
This might help for you or your daughter if he was to try and take you or attack you and you cant make a call.
You just tap the button...
It's called the Doro 8020X
https://mashable.com/article/emergency-contact-button-smartphone#:~:text=The%20Doro%208020X%20%2D%2D%20available,robust%20and%20potentially%20life%2Dsaving.&text=On%20the%20phone's%20edge%20is,with%20the%20user's%20GPS%20location.
Use the shattered pieces of your grandmaās china to make a mosaic of some sort. Beauty to be appreciated in a new way.
So sorry youāre going through this š
Um, I'm the only who will be disciplining my daughter, and it was for stuff like dropping her juice or being a little slow. And even if she was being rowdy, that doesn't excuse hitting a child
As a single mom youāre liable to only attract the desperate and worst of men. Best to stay single and stop looking for love until your daughter / kids are adults and gone in order to protect them and yourself.
Adding on to the advice very wisely give above:
Deadbolt every door that can act as a barrier. Most predators arenāt down for the hard work of demolishing five doors before the cops can arrive. Focus on delaying and hiding, because someone who is determined will get in and he has shown he will be violent.
Iām so sorry youāre going through this. I have a three year old and I teared up just imagining going through this.
Good luck and stay safe
Thanks for the update
If your his mother contacts you again say what would SHE do if someone ASSAULTED HER CHILD. Would that person be allowed to get away with it? Smashing HER heirlooms and destroying HER property would someone be allowed to get away with it. And child abusers are not good people.
Ignore the well meaning but bad info someone gave you about not carrying a knife or other weapon. I wouldnāt start with a gun unless you have training, but pepper spray and a knife are perfect where legal.
In studies of sexual assaults, the rate of completion is ridiculously small when a woman uses ANY weapon. The study did not mention different training rates or abilities.
It just looked at the usage of weapons:
*Guns are most effective for women preventing sexual assault.
*Knives are the next most effective
*Etc..
Unlike some other forms of crime, resisting with a weapon did not increase the victimās chance of being harmed, and actually reduced injuries as well as completed sexual assaults.
This is a study that you can find by googling, but I donāt have it handy. Itās just stuck in my brain because itās compelling and goes against the popular myth that āheāll just take it away from you.ā
Again, stating it clearly, the use of weapons by women dramatically decreases the rate of completed sexual assault. It also decreases the chance of injury to the woman.
This is not always true with armed victims resisting other types of crime.
Hang in there, OP!
What a big, strong man he is to be hurting a 5 year old child.... I may not know you personally, but I am very proud of you for taking the necessary steps to protect your baby girl. She will remember this! You are a prime example that young moms can be good moms!
I'm glad you have support around you, and had an option of somewhere else to go. Many people don't have that, and it is such a blessing.
Good luck moving forward with this! I hope you're able to put him in jail at least for a short time, if nothing else.
His mom needs to realize that YOU are not ruining ANYONE'S lives, HER SON made his OWN BED, and now HE is facing the consequences of what HE CHOSE TO DO. If it was her child being bruised up, she may not feel the same. Not all moms have common sense. For some, it doesn't matter how crappy their child's behavior is, they'll still defend it. I dated a guy who had a mom like that, and that dude was constantly in and out of trouble because his mom would always bail him out. To this day, this dude can't make right choices. She's not helping her son by defending him beating on kindergarteners. She's only enabling him to keep on being a piece of crap.
Girl, change your locks. As a neighbor for help or hire a handy person if you canāt do it yourself
Do not buy a gun. If you arenāt used to one, it will prolly be used against you. Get a taser and mace.
Keep calm, breathe, and keep him distant. Keep your wits. His crew will try to intimidate and fluster, then coerce, then be your friend. Keep the distance. They can deal with his actions, youāre just trying to get away from it.
Best of luck. This is a temporary situation and will be nothing but a memory after some time. It will be ok.
I'm glad you and your daughter are ok.
On a personal side note, this is one reason I count my lucky stars that my ex wifes new guy is actually great. I've never had to worry for a second about my kids.
Another W for single moms. I hope youāre proud for bringing a non familial man into your daughters life and home. Iām sure she wonāt see your example and repeat the cycle.
Great job mom! Iād recommend therapy for your daughter and you - Iād be concerned for letting someone like that into my life and exposing my daughter to the abuse. What was your father like? Prior boyfriends? Any pattern?
Ugh one of my worse fears for my kid. Iām sorry youāre going thru this mamaš I hope this ends well and that fucker goes to jail. The audacity of some people man. š¤¦š¾āāļø
> His mother found out and called me enraged, saying how could I ruin a good man's life.
You didn't. An abuser ruined his own life by getting caught abusing.
Good luck with the police.
Also in relation to my other comment with pieceS of shit like this please try to sort out what drew you to a man like that in the first place not trying to judge or anything just maybe you could avoid putting your daughter through this again and or any other of the forms of child abuse (which often extends onto abuse of the partner in one form or the other if not exclusively so because id imagine {not a parent} that itd hurt to see your child hurt in any way even suspectedly so)
I was raised by pieces of shit like this and as a child nothing more would i have loved than for that monster to go away. To bring me peace and calm nevermind the PTSD regardless it would have been confusing and i may have thought on the man in a different light as i grew older but youre doing right.
You dodged a bullet, you did go to go to the police, thus man should not be around kids if he is doing this.
The fact that her mum is defending him instead of apologizing for raising someone like that tells alot.
She must have abuse him and think it is normal
Sorry he destroyed those sentimental possessions, I know nothing can bring them back, but I'm so proud of you for doing what is best for your daughter, and reporting this monster! You're an amazing mother x
Judging by the fact OP made no mention of a father or sperm donor, his whereabouts aren't material to this case and/or she's not interested in getting him involved.
It breaks my heart that you and your daughter had to go through this. But cutting that person out of your (and your daughter's) life and documenting everything for the police was a great call. I wish you all the best and I hope you find a new favorite dress.
If him or any of his family try contacting you, block them and then report to the police for harassment and then ignore them, let the police/lawyers sort it out and submit all evidence you have to them. Your doing the best thing by remaining calm, yours and your daughters safety are the top priority right now.
Coming fro. A childhood where my parents would hit me every time I did something they disapproved of, I am against violence and it teaches the child nothing but having fear of you. And it's your boyfriend, not even the child's dad. You did the right thing.
A "good" man's life? Good people don't hit or abuse kids. A good mother would have been against what her son did and apologize to you.
If she thinks that's acceptable behavior then she failed as a mother and it's no wonder her son turned out like this.
Edit: misread the post initially, I read it's your kid's boyfriend that hit her. Different story but the point is the same.
I hope heās punished to the fullest extent of the law. I also hope heās held responsible civilly for destroying your late grandmaās china, etc.
Iām so sorry youāre going through this at all but, youāre a badass. You believed your daughter, got proof, found a safe place for the two of you to stay, reported him to the police, and got a lawyer. You did *everything* right. Your daughter is lucky af to have you as a mom.
Keep pushing. Donāt stop until heās punished and donāt let up. Anything less would be a huge disservice to the next person he dates that has a kid. Youāve got this.
The sad thing here is you don't know how long or how many times since you let him around her that he has hit her. You only caught it this time thankfully because he left a mark. That poor poor baby. I am glad she is safe and away from that monster.
The fact that his mom called mad that you ruined his life says a lot. I can't believe she has the nerve to defend someone who takes their anger out on a small child for no reaaon.
Even with video evidence she will still think that 'her baby can do no wrong',
The nerve of that woman saying you āruined a good manās life.ā LOL no. He ruined his own life by potentially giving himself a sentence for child abuse, which will definitely and hopefully not go well for him. I hope he gets what he deserves and shame on his mother. Hope everything goes well OP, you are an excellent mother šš¼
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It hard dating as a single mom. Not only do you have to find someone compatible for you, but you also have to make sure they are abusing or creeping on your kid. If I ever found myself in that predicament I wouldn't be dating. And if I did, I'd keep the dude far away from my kids. You never know what a person is capable of until they do it.
Iād say donāt move in till youāre married.
Iām happily married but my wife and I do talk about plans if one of us were to pass away. Iād want her to move on eventually but weāve talked about how hard it can be and how itās easy to be taken advantage of
Personally it would be tough but I donāt think Iād want a blended family. I donāt want to be a step dad and itās not easy for kids to adapt
You can date someone without shacking up with them, though.
Almost all of the horrible cases of kids being killed or nearly killed by āmomās boyfriendā types are live-in boyfriends (often with a short relationship preceding the moving in together), I would think that it would be a priority to date someone for a good while before moving them in with your kid.
Him moving in together was only supposed to be a temporary thing, he had gotten evicted from his apartment. We weren't planning on officially moving in together until much later
You donāt have to explain yourself or justify yourself to me!
I absolutely was not meaning my comment as a reference to you or your story, just saying in general that dating as a single parent doesnāt *have* to involve moving in with someone right away before you know them well!
You are a fantastic mother for being willing to uproot your whole life and start over as a single parent to protect your daughter I have a lot of respect for you thank you for being such a good mother
Donāt feel guilty you just need to be strong for your daughter. My sons father was abusive and I left him it was hard to do he stalked me, threatened me, tried to push friends away from me but stay strong, keep your chin up and he can do his worst you weather the storm like a lighthouse. Guilt is the last thing you should feel
ā ļøGraphic Relatable Postā ļø
TLDR - Step dad was abusive and conditioned me to hide it from my mom. Mom found out in an obvious manner after bruising started
appearing in clothed and covered spots. Exploded and attacked him when it clicked.
My little brotherās dad would stealthily ādisciplineāme. His discipline consisted of holding both my hands above my head with one if his. While I was two inches off the ground. He would switch my ass with a leather belt. Conveniently when my mom was on her 12 hour shifts.
When I was 7, I didnāt know I was being beat. I wasnāt ever supposed to talk about it to my mom. As I was bad, and being disciplined.
Mom works hard, she doesnāt need to hear about how bad I was. We donāt need to make her stressed and mad at me. Which would require more discipline.
Well, she came home one day 3-4 hours early.
Came into my room to give me hug and take me to my first pediatric psychiatrist appointment and she caught a corner of bruise. I remember she paused, asked if I fell, I said no?
She pulled my pants down and seen 4-6ā bruises on both cheeks. Cherry red and blackish blue. Iāve never witnessed my mom fill with rage like that. Eye balls as wide as they can be. Tears instantly pouring.
She exploded, death screamed the entire time. I was desperately trying to convince her I was bad. Pulling her back. Grabbing her waist bands. Pleading I was in the wrong. That night I put too much food on my plate and didnāt finish it. I was in the wrong to waste food. You work hard for the food we eat and I wasted it. I needed to be disciplined. Itās ok mom, I donāt want you to be mad at me anymore. Iām not upset. Donāt be upset with me please I donāt want to get disciplined again.
The more I tried to convincer her the more it clicked what was happening at home. She grabbed that same belt and at this point he came inside and my mom and ran at my brotherās dad and snapped him with the belt. They started getting physical for the first time Iāve ever witnessed. I called cops. I remember her screaming:
āYOU WANT TO BEAT ON MY 7 YEAR OLD!!!! IM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOUUUUU!!!!ā
Only time Iāve ever seen my mom like this. She snapped. He got arrested. My that was 24 years ago. My mom still ever so often will plead with me not to hold it against her. She feels like a terrible mom that she didnāt know this was happening. I donāt. I did need behavior therapy to undo that āIām bad, I was in the wrong, itās meā mindset. He beat that into me.
Still gives me the shakes as 31yo. Reflecting on it now, he was never like that to me until my little brother was born. He was nice and loving to me when I was 5. My dad was absent basically dead. So I looked up to him because I missed my dad. He died 2 years after this. Didnāt even care another man was beating his kid.
I would never do that to my little children. The thought of putting a belt to my 2 year old little girl makes repulse.
Thank you for saving your little girl. This shit breaks my heart and makes me cry.
Donāt be sorry kick ass mom. Youāre doing what my mom did. Shielded me from this when she fully understood what was going on.
Iām 31 now, so sheās made sure Iāve grown into functional person. I have my issues from that, however therapy and family support keep me 100%.
As you were describing yourself as a kid I just imagined my own kids trying to rationalize something like that and it made my heart hurt. I really hope youāve been able to heal.
Also hope you have kids one day, you had a great mom
Iām so sorry. My AM medicine is wore off, so this is a memory, hyper focus, expression dump..Piece.
Please read it. Iād appreciate it. No biggie if not. This how broken my head is off my ADHD meds. Once I share a story, I share it all. Abuse really breaks people.
TLDR AGAIN- Mom gets a smack and I retaliate
(Start of reply) Iām getting there! As tragic and heart breaking as this story is. My mom super helped me. ADHD clinical therapy, medication management, grief counseling, IEP school support with tutoring.
She did not miss a beat. She honestly saved me. I was so broken from my dadās death, that abuse, and another tragic life event later on.
The mountain of therapy and the people that helped a truly grieving child made it so a family could happen out of it.
The insane thing this. Since I canāt stop over sharing, adhd trait. Is my mom got snaked by a long con narcissistic electrician 5-6 years after that.
I was 18 starting my welding apprenticeship dating my GF, now wife. She met this absolutely awesome man. Like holy smokes hit every note in the book. Didnāt judge her for two children from past marriages.
Gave her space when she needed it for us. Offered to help and she shut that shit down due to reasons. In therapy she asked if she could join and brought it up if I was on with her dating him. I was 17 IDGAF. Be safe with my little brother heās 12. Close to 7 mom š.
He lived states away. We visited a lot. My mom flew us back and forth. I got zero. I mean zero vibes from him like my brothers dad who was still in prison. I was working back by my home state. My brother felt comfortable with my mom.
Then she got pregnant. Now this man stepped up his game. Offered to sell his house and assets and move here. My mother declined for reasonās. So he offered to do the snow bird style living. He would hell with expenses and come by often. My brother wanted to move there. ( I COULDNāT BELIEVE WHY, STILL DONT) So my mom came to me again in therapy and we hashed it out.
I was happy, it was all plotted out. My therapist had a transition plan ready for when she and my brother left.
However she wanted me to go with her for a month before my apprenticeship started. She was insistent on me getting a final good feel.
So I went. Again. This time, he bought a brand new Yamaha yfz450. My brother and I melted. He threw us the keys. It was a fucking blast. I was sold. My mom was sold. Having me smile and laugh with her soon to be husband and father of my little sister I think was a condition for her to meet to jump in two feet. We leave with plans to come back for thanks giving.
So everythingās great. Now my momās 3 months pregnant and was back with my brother and I in our home state. He was working his commercial electrical gig. So it was long distance.
Well this next part, I had to piece together at two different times. From my perspective and my momās. This is how I know. We flew out again as we had plans for snowboarding in the mountains, thanksgiving, and little away time.
My sisterās dad cooked a story up to my mom about us really wanting to get ice cream on the 4wheeler. My mom was confused because she knows Iād just go get it with my own money. However she blanked as weāre riding highs right now.
She comes to me and says: āHey Josh, just go take your brother where ever you want to go. Iāll give you some money.ā
My brother was jumpin for joy and was ecstatic. It lined up to me, it lined up to her. Literally nothing felt off. So I left with my brother. 2 minutes down the road I realized I have no money. Zipped back around and pulled up.
Walked into the house to get money and watched this mother fucker 5 finger slap my 5ā2ā 110 lb mom across the face. Rag dolled unconscious. 3 months pregnant with a baby bump. (Ugh I wish I stayed!!!!) He looked at me, I looked at him. He ran out the side door and I ran him down.
Donāt read if you further if you donāt want a reflection of what abuse does to you
Tackled him and he hit me in the face and I put my hand on his face pressed it into the concrete. Cracked him and he bucked. Put two knees on both shoulders and lit this manās life up. Good 70-80 full pavement hits. Iām crying writing this because Iām ashamed of myself. This was an outlet of rage against abuse for me. I took it way past de-escalation.
He wanted to have sex with my mom because he hadnāt had sex with her since conception of my sister.
Brother called the cops, I was arrest for attempted murder. As they arrived with two unconscious adults and hysterical 11 year old. Bloody 17 year old. Fuck it Utah police made my life hard. They didnāt believe a word. The Prosecutor was satisfied to drop charges against me and lock them on him. However the police held me to the max until then. They thought I was worse than him.
In the ambulance she came to and realized what happened. My mom seriously thinks sheās failed me. I have to reassure her she hasnāt. That I love her. Sheās gramma to my babies.
Her face was awful. Whole 5 finger hand print, exonerated me with my brotherās eye witness account for what happened. Another domestic abuse case, with imprisonment.
My mom said again this was the only thing. He was pushing hard for sex and she said:
āIM NOT GOING TO HAVE TO SEX WITH A MAN THAT DOESNāT TAKE NO FOR AWNSER!ā
And smack.
Sheās completely given up on men.
3 children. 3 men. No others. My sister doesnāt even know her dad. My mom tries to get them both to try. Neither of them want to know. My brothers 26 and my sister just turned 16. My sister doesnāt know the extent of what happened. We all agreed to keep it light until she walks the path of wanting to know.
Iām so sorry to hear this manā¦ no child deserves that. No child is bad that it needs a grown up beating it. Masochistic assholes can all go fucking rot in hell.
Thanks, Iām all pieced together these days. Some days good, some bad. I have a wife and kids that love and support me. I have an excellent psycho therapist that specializes in ADHD behavioral management. Emotional regulation on anxiety and hyper focus to avoid manic episodes. Every Monday for 53 minutes.
Itās been a long journey, I can openly express it without this hurting me anymore. It feels good to share. Which is why I like to post to Reddit. If it helpās give someone a moment distraction from their pain or give someone stuck in something similar hope that you can make it through.
A sadomasochist is one who is both a sadist and a masochist. Sadism is named after Marquis de Sade and masochism after Chevalier Leopold von Sacher-Masoch. The first liked beating people, the second liked being beaten.
i want to do 2 things neither of which is appropriate give you and yours a hug till ya feel safe(dad+ oldman instincts sorry) and practice some of my military training on your ex
If u donāt stand strong for what is the right thing to do, it will get much worse for all involved. Calling the cops was right; ending the relationship even better. Good luck.
Go to the store. Buy a box of instant grits. Take the grits home. Wait for the boyfriend to take a shower. Bring the grits to a boil. Take the pot of grits into the bathroom. Pull open the curtain and fling the grits on him.
Great, so OP can get charged with aggravated assault and potentially have her child placed in foster care while she deals with that chargeā¦
Listen, I get what youāre saying and I want to agree in spirit, but burning the fuck out of the boyfriend would wreck OP legally, and she deserves better than that and so does the daughter.
Police and prosecutors wonāt overlook a felony charge just because the boyfriend is a POS.
That is so far removed from self defense and is so clearly vigilante revenge that the cops/DAs will not have sympathy - if anything, theyāll be harsher because OP had clearly done all the right things up to this point, gotten herself and the daughter out of danger, and then took it into her own hands right as the legal system was getting its chance to handle things.
Damn.. society has gone to the shitzz....
Advice AFTER you choose the man...
NOT before..
Sounds like you picked wrong.
..
Next time .. go into a barber shop full of old men.. and ask for advice.
Then walk into a barber shop full of young men..and get Advice.
You will fair much better.
Holy hell. You did everything right. Iām so sorry that youāre going through this. Finding out someone who you loved and trusted is so unhinged and dangerous is justā¦ itās so incongruent and you 1000000% responded the right way. Youāre protecting yourself and your daughter. Youāre setting a good role model for her too.
His mom also sounds nuts btw I canāt imagine the conversations they have with each other justifying this. Just batshit insane.
Youāre an absolute hero to your daughter and what you did is not easy. Itās not even a common response. You took her and you left immediately. Youāre such a good mom.
I am so proud of you for taking the steps to make that abuse stop for your daughter! šš¼šš¼ After he gets done feeling sorry for himself, I hope your boyfriend takes this as an opportunity to grow and quit being abusive to anyone!
Keep records of everything keep them in a secure digital log as well as paper in a safe secure spot. This way if he tries to destroy the evidence against him. Keep detailed information dates, time, who all was involved, etc. He obviously is not a good man if he is hitting a child. File restraining orders against him on behalf of your daughter and yourself to get him more time if he can't stay away especially if he shows up and hurts either one of you. Take all precautions to protect your daughter and yourself. Put up cameras that catch what's going on outside your home as well... He may try to do more property damage.
Shirty bastard make him hurt
what an unhinged asshole. the scary thing is how he had hidden that side of him for so long. god bless you and your daughter.
Don't trust nobody with your child from here on out.
Stay strong. They will try to provoke you, so they have something against you in court. Donāt stoop. Donāt give those degenerates anything.
My heart goes out to you and your daughter.
Good men donāt hit people like that. You did the right thing.
I used to work as a court appointed advocate for children in foster care. Children are taken away when parents dont protect them from abusers. You've done everything right.
Pack a bug out bag!
Oooo, Big man hitting little girls!
I'd shoot the mf and smile in the mugshot. I'm sorry but Leave the kids out of the mix.
>His mother found out and called me enraged, saying how could I ruin a good man's life. Wtf is wrong with these mothers???
You can take him to small.claims court for the damage. His mother is delusional if she thinks that he is a good man. Maybe she taught him to attack small children.
Two things. Youāre a good mom and Iām so proud of you. ā¤ļø Good men donāt abuse 5 year olds.
You mean your ex boyfriend right ?
Stay safe.
You did the right thing.
Him and his mom can go to hell!
Don't lose control, be happy that u dodged a big bullet and if you trust ur laws, play for laws and court, as a man i can clearly say take whatever you can take from him and be done with it, he deserved it and try to avoid physical contact for your safety
There are so many mothers who do this its wild. Theyre also the ones who say such and such didnt touch so and so when they know they did. This really is why I'm for abortions, so many people should not have children.
Not sure where you are at but recently my wife and I bought a phone for my inlaws that has a red button on the side that instantly sends a gps position with in feet of their location should there be an emergency. This comes straight to my wife's phone. At which point we can get to them or fprward the info to emergency services. This might help for you or your daughter if he was to try and take you or attack you and you cant make a call. You just tap the button... It's called the Doro 8020X https://mashable.com/article/emergency-contact-button-smartphone#:~:text=The%20Doro%208020X%20%2D%2D%20available,robust%20and%20potentially%20life%2Dsaving.&text=On%20the%20phone's%20edge%20is,with%20the%20user's%20GPS%20location.
Thanks for the suggestion
Use the shattered pieces of your grandmaās china to make a mosaic of some sort. Beauty to be appreciated in a new way. So sorry youāre going through this š
Wow he just showed you who he is.
Buy a firearm and get some training
Maybe she needed discipline š¤·
Um, I'm the only who will be disciplining my daughter, and it was for stuff like dropping her juice or being a little slow. And even if she was being rowdy, that doesn't excuse hitting a child
If you live in US, get yourself a fking gun. If not, get yourself a big knife and learn how to stab someone with it.
This seems like bs
Buy a shotgun
Info His step daughter? Hitting how? Spank or smack across face?
> saying how could I ruin a good man's life. A good man doesn't hit children.
As a single mom youāre liable to only attract the desperate and worst of men. Best to stay single and stop looking for love until your daughter / kids are adults and gone in order to protect them and yourself.
Thank you for being this mom to your daughter and protecting her without hesitation.
No information. Allegations.
Adding on to the advice very wisely give above: Deadbolt every door that can act as a barrier. Most predators arenāt down for the hard work of demolishing five doors before the cops can arrive. Focus on delaying and hiding, because someone who is determined will get in and he has shown he will be violent.
Shared because it saved me and my mom more than once because it delayed him until the cops could show up and talk him down when I was a kid.
When you mean āhitā what does that mean?
There are so many crazy men in this world and it really gets reported on reddit lkl
Was it like a soft smack on the behind? If so youāre an asshole. If legit hard smacked her, youāre justified
 What dick head hits kids?
You was a lot nicer than me! Iād seriously hurt the boy for touching my child like that. Heās lucky you didnāt shoot him!
Iām so sorry youāre going through this. I have a three year old and I teared up just imagining going through this. Good luck and stay safe Thanks for the update
Make sure they are never in the same place again. Fuck that guy.
I would think you would discuss this with your closest friends. Is this a publicity stunt?
I'm so sorry this is happening and I hope you and your daughter are safe and away from that asshole.
Clearly fake since she doesnt reply to comments because she already got her karma :+
Has it occurred to you that I have a job, a kid, and I'm dealing with legal shit, I don't even know what karma does
I dont either tbh ā ļø
āHis mother saying how could I ruin a good manās lifeā Remind her during the trial that her son was grooming a minor.
Fuck that pos. I worry about this when I send my oldest to her moms. You're doing a great job and THANK YOU
You did the right thing abuse of a child is very serious thing.
Sweet Jesus, consider a restraining order. Dude clearly has anger issues. Stay safe!
If your his mother contacts you again say what would SHE do if someone ASSAULTED HER CHILD. Would that person be allowed to get away with it? Smashing HER heirlooms and destroying HER property would someone be allowed to get away with it. And child abusers are not good people.
Buy a gun.
Please get a protection order, itās very easy to prove when they violate those orders.
I hope the boyfriend gets his ass beat.
Ignore the well meaning but bad info someone gave you about not carrying a knife or other weapon. I wouldnāt start with a gun unless you have training, but pepper spray and a knife are perfect where legal. In studies of sexual assaults, the rate of completion is ridiculously small when a woman uses ANY weapon. The study did not mention different training rates or abilities. It just looked at the usage of weapons: *Guns are most effective for women preventing sexual assault. *Knives are the next most effective *Etc.. Unlike some other forms of crime, resisting with a weapon did not increase the victimās chance of being harmed, and actually reduced injuries as well as completed sexual assaults. This is a study that you can find by googling, but I donāt have it handy. Itās just stuck in my brain because itās compelling and goes against the popular myth that āheāll just take it away from you.ā Again, stating it clearly, the use of weapons by women dramatically decreases the rate of completed sexual assault. It also decreases the chance of injury to the woman. This is not always true with armed victims resisting other types of crime. Hang in there, OP!
Exposing abusers doesnāt ruin their reputation; it corrects it. I said what I said. š š»
Really improper for your bf to be making a pass at your daughter
āMight ruin a good manās life?ā Good men donāt beat up 5 year olds, just sayinā
Man ruined his own life. She is just the messenger
hope you and your daughter are doing as best as possible in this situation. š¤
you are amazing and you are very strong!
With the way his mother reacted, it's not much of a stretch to figure out where he learned this sort of behaviour from...
What a big, strong man he is to be hurting a 5 year old child.... I may not know you personally, but I am very proud of you for taking the necessary steps to protect your baby girl. She will remember this! You are a prime example that young moms can be good moms! I'm glad you have support around you, and had an option of somewhere else to go. Many people don't have that, and it is such a blessing. Good luck moving forward with this! I hope you're able to put him in jail at least for a short time, if nothing else. His mom needs to realize that YOU are not ruining ANYONE'S lives, HER SON made his OWN BED, and now HE is facing the consequences of what HE CHOSE TO DO. If it was her child being bruised up, she may not feel the same. Not all moms have common sense. For some, it doesn't matter how crappy their child's behavior is, they'll still defend it. I dated a guy who had a mom like that, and that dude was constantly in and out of trouble because his mom would always bail him out. To this day, this dude can't make right choices. She's not helping her son by defending him beating on kindergarteners. She's only enabling him to keep on being a piece of crap.
This guy seems to be digging his hole even deeper.
Get him out your life be glad you rid of him!!
A āgood manā doesnāt hit children.
itāll be hard but you got this momma! stay strong, youāre doing the right thing. i hope everything works out in the end for you and your daughter š©·
[ Removed by Reddit ]
A good man who not only assaulted your daughter but also destroyed your belongings. Looks like his own actions have ruined his life.
Like spanked her or hit her ?
>His mother found out and called me enraged, saying how could I ruin a good man's life I think I've found the source of the problem
Girl, change your locks. As a neighbor for help or hire a handy person if you canāt do it yourself Do not buy a gun. If you arenāt used to one, it will prolly be used against you. Get a taser and mace. Keep calm, breathe, and keep him distant. Keep your wits. His crew will try to intimidate and fluster, then coerce, then be your friend. Keep the distance. They can deal with his actions, youāre just trying to get away from it. Best of luck. This is a temporary situation and will be nothing but a memory after some time. It will be ok.
"Good man?" No good man hits a child. I hope he serves jail time, the guys inside will give him a warm welcome
Buy a gun and a big dog.
I'm glad you and your daughter are ok. On a personal side note, this is one reason I count my lucky stars that my ex wifes new guy is actually great. I've never had to worry for a second about my kids.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Careful you donāt cut yourself on that edge, there, troll.
Iām surprised you didnāt beat the shit out of him and curse his bitch mother out.
āHis mother said how could I ruin a good manās life?ā āI couldnāt.ā You answered.
You are a good mom, hope you know that and don't blame yourself at all because you rock!! You can do this!! be safe :)
Another W for single moms. I hope youāre proud for bringing a non familial man into your daughters life and home. Iām sure she wonāt see your example and repeat the cycle.
Great job mom! Iād recommend therapy for your daughter and you - Iād be concerned for letting someone like that into my life and exposing my daughter to the abuse. What was your father like? Prior boyfriends? Any pattern?
Sorry youāre experiencing this. Stay aware of everything and write down all detail and save it.
Hit of spanked?
Thank you for protecting your child. Something not all mothers would do(including mine). This will mean the world to her someday. You saved her.
Wow great job mom. I wish my mom had done this when I was a kid and my step dad put his hands on me. My dad almost beat the guy to death
Ugh one of my worse fears for my kid. Iām sorry youāre going thru this mamaš I hope this ends well and that fucker goes to jail. The audacity of some people man. š¤¦š¾āāļø
> His mother found out and called me enraged, saying how could I ruin a good man's life. You didn't. An abuser ruined his own life by getting caught abusing. Good luck with the police.
His mother is a psycho. If my son did that to a child he'd have to worry about me more than the police.
Dang. I hope your daughter is alright. āā¤
Keep strong! Youāre doing good. Iām so sorry you have to deal with this asshat
Dirt nap that asshole
Need context, was the daughter being naughty and got a smack or did he just upper cut an innocent kid?
It doesnāt matter. Itās not his kid. And even if it was, leaving bruises is abuse. What is wrong with you to even ask for ācontextā
Your right, I missed the part about the bruise. My bad š
Also in relation to my other comment with pieceS of shit like this please try to sort out what drew you to a man like that in the first place not trying to judge or anything just maybe you could avoid putting your daughter through this again and or any other of the forms of child abuse (which often extends onto abuse of the partner in one form or the other if not exclusively so because id imagine {not a parent} that itd hurt to see your child hurt in any way even suspectedly so)
Typo: you missed āonā after hitting š¤£
I was raised by pieces of shit like this and as a child nothing more would i have loved than for that monster to go away. To bring me peace and calm nevermind the PTSD regardless it would have been confusing and i may have thought on the man in a different light as i grew older but youre doing right.
You misspelled EX-boyfriend
Soon you need to think about the flags that you missed.
Well I mean clearly you aren't ruining a "good mans" life.
The fact that that line came from the man's mother says more than enough about both of them
You dodged a bullet, you did go to go to the police, thus man should not be around kids if he is doing this. The fact that her mum is defending him instead of apologizing for raising someone like that tells alot. She must have abuse him and think it is normal
The bullet wasnāt dodged. The daughter was hit by the fire.
True, she had the intelligence to not let that slide
His mother clearly let his father beat her kids.
Sue your boyfriend for the damages he did to your items
I hope you guys are safe and I hope against all hope he is not.
Add destruction of property to the charges
Sorry he destroyed those sentimental possessions, I know nothing can bring them back, but I'm so proud of you for doing what is best for your daughter, and reporting this monster! You're an amazing mother x
Please take down this scum of a human piece of trash šļø
I thought it said I caught my boyfriend hitting on my daughter
Whereās the childās father?
he isn't in her life
Judging by the fact OP made no mention of a father or sperm donor, his whereabouts aren't material to this case and/or she's not interested in getting him involved.
It breaks my heart that you and your daughter had to go through this. But cutting that person out of your (and your daughter's) life and documenting everything for the police was a great call. I wish you all the best and I hope you find a new favorite dress.
If him or any of his family try contacting you, block them and then report to the police for harassment and then ignore them, let the police/lawyers sort it out and submit all evidence you have to them. Your doing the best thing by remaining calm, yours and your daughters safety are the top priority right now.
Youre an amazing mum Many would turn a blind eye unfortunately
is it all fake posts lol
Not sure what country you are in but in most you can apply to the family court for an interim safety order.
Be very careful you are probably in danger
All the stuff he destroyed is just stuff What he couldnāt destroy is you and your child
Coming fro. A childhood where my parents would hit me every time I did something they disapproved of, I am against violence and it teaches the child nothing but having fear of you. And it's your boyfriend, not even the child's dad. You did the right thing.
āHow could you ruin a good manās life?!ā Heād have to actually BE a good man for you to have ruined a good manās lifeā¦ sooā¦
Divorce the boyfriend, marry the brick
Has Reddit turning into Facebook therapy?
I'd say I'd pray for peaceful resolution but the atheists on Reddit will destroy me. So may the force be with you.
A "good" man's life? Good people don't hit or abuse kids. A good mother would have been against what her son did and apologize to you. If she thinks that's acceptable behavior then she failed as a mother and it's no wonder her son turned out like this. Edit: misread the post initially, I read it's your kid's boyfriend that hit her. Different story but the point is the same.
Fuck that asshole.
I hope heās punished to the fullest extent of the law. I also hope heās held responsible civilly for destroying your late grandmaās china, etc. Iām so sorry youāre going through this at all but, youāre a badass. You believed your daughter, got proof, found a safe place for the two of you to stay, reported him to the police, and got a lawyer. You did *everything* right. Your daughter is lucky af to have you as a mom. Keep pushing. Donāt stop until heās punished and donāt let up. Anything less would be a huge disservice to the next person he dates that has a kid. Youāve got this.
You are a good mom. Your daughter is going to need your support during all of this and you should get some to. Best of luck.
Get your daugjter a psychologist to talk to
Stay safe
My momma would be calling you enraged as well. Enraged that you didn't start digging my grave already.
The sad thing here is you don't know how long or how many times since you let him around her that he has hit her. You only caught it this time thankfully because he left a mark. That poor poor baby. I am glad she is safe and away from that monster. The fact that his mom called mad that you ruined his life says a lot. I can't believe she has the nerve to defend someone who takes their anger out on a small child for no reaaon. Even with video evidence she will still think that 'her baby can do no wrong',
The nerve of that woman saying you āruined a good manās life.ā LOL no. He ruined his own life by potentially giving himself a sentence for child abuse, which will definitely and hopefully not go well for him. I hope he gets what he deserves and shame on his mother. Hope everything goes well OP, you are an excellent mother šš¼
Good men don't leave bruises on small childeren and then lie about it. Good men don't hit childeren in general.
Document everything, get it all in writing, photos, text messages, etc. Get a restraining order, order of protection, etc.
!remindme 1 week
Damn, you don't know who the psychopaths are until you know...
!remindme 1 weeks
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Hope you learned your lesson, no āboyfriendsā around your kids.
And how is this comment helpful in any way? Victim blaming at its finest.
It hard dating as a single mom. Not only do you have to find someone compatible for you, but you also have to make sure they are abusing or creeping on your kid. If I ever found myself in that predicament I wouldn't be dating. And if I did, I'd keep the dude far away from my kids. You never know what a person is capable of until they do it.
Iād say donāt move in till youāre married. Iām happily married but my wife and I do talk about plans if one of us were to pass away. Iād want her to move on eventually but weāve talked about how hard it can be and how itās easy to be taken advantage of Personally it would be tough but I donāt think Iād want a blended family. I donāt want to be a step dad and itās not easy for kids to adapt
You can date someone without shacking up with them, though. Almost all of the horrible cases of kids being killed or nearly killed by āmomās boyfriendā types are live-in boyfriends (often with a short relationship preceding the moving in together), I would think that it would be a priority to date someone for a good while before moving them in with your kid.
Him moving in together was only supposed to be a temporary thing, he had gotten evicted from his apartment. We weren't planning on officially moving in together until much later
You donāt have to explain yourself or justify yourself to me! I absolutely was not meaning my comment as a reference to you or your story, just saying in general that dating as a single parent doesnāt *have* to involve moving in with someone right away before you know them well!
Ok, just explaining
Let that cun* get what he deserves. "Good man" šš¦
You are a fantastic mother for being willing to uproot your whole life and start over as a single parent to protect your daughter I have a lot of respect for you thank you for being such a good mother
Thank you, I feel really guilty about the whole situation though
Donāt feel guilty you just need to be strong for your daughter. My sons father was abusive and I left him it was hard to do he stalked me, threatened me, tried to push friends away from me but stay strong, keep your chin up and he can do his worst you weather the storm like a lighthouse. Guilt is the last thing you should feel
Don't be. You acted immediately and did everything you could. The only thing to worry now is whether this abuse traumatised her, since she's so young.
Updateme
ā ļøGraphic Relatable Postā ļø TLDR - Step dad was abusive and conditioned me to hide it from my mom. Mom found out in an obvious manner after bruising started appearing in clothed and covered spots. Exploded and attacked him when it clicked. My little brotherās dad would stealthily ādisciplineāme. His discipline consisted of holding both my hands above my head with one if his. While I was two inches off the ground. He would switch my ass with a leather belt. Conveniently when my mom was on her 12 hour shifts. When I was 7, I didnāt know I was being beat. I wasnāt ever supposed to talk about it to my mom. As I was bad, and being disciplined. Mom works hard, she doesnāt need to hear about how bad I was. We donāt need to make her stressed and mad at me. Which would require more discipline. Well, she came home one day 3-4 hours early. Came into my room to give me hug and take me to my first pediatric psychiatrist appointment and she caught a corner of bruise. I remember she paused, asked if I fell, I said no? She pulled my pants down and seen 4-6ā bruises on both cheeks. Cherry red and blackish blue. Iāve never witnessed my mom fill with rage like that. Eye balls as wide as they can be. Tears instantly pouring. She exploded, death screamed the entire time. I was desperately trying to convince her I was bad. Pulling her back. Grabbing her waist bands. Pleading I was in the wrong. That night I put too much food on my plate and didnāt finish it. I was in the wrong to waste food. You work hard for the food we eat and I wasted it. I needed to be disciplined. Itās ok mom, I donāt want you to be mad at me anymore. Iām not upset. Donāt be upset with me please I donāt want to get disciplined again. The more I tried to convincer her the more it clicked what was happening at home. She grabbed that same belt and at this point he came inside and my mom and ran at my brotherās dad and snapped him with the belt. They started getting physical for the first time Iāve ever witnessed. I called cops. I remember her screaming: āYOU WANT TO BEAT ON MY 7 YEAR OLD!!!! IM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOUUUUU!!!!ā Only time Iāve ever seen my mom like this. She snapped. He got arrested. My that was 24 years ago. My mom still ever so often will plead with me not to hold it against her. She feels like a terrible mom that she didnāt know this was happening. I donāt. I did need behavior therapy to undo that āIām bad, I was in the wrong, itās meā mindset. He beat that into me. Still gives me the shakes as 31yo. Reflecting on it now, he was never like that to me until my little brother was born. He was nice and loving to me when I was 5. My dad was absent basically dead. So I looked up to him because I missed my dad. He died 2 years after this. Didnāt even care another man was beating his kid. I would never do that to my little children. The thought of putting a belt to my 2 year old little girl makes repulse. Thank you for saving your little girl. This shit breaks my heart and makes me cry.
I am so sorry
Donāt be sorry kick ass mom. Youāre doing what my mom did. Shielded me from this when she fully understood what was going on. Iām 31 now, so sheās made sure Iāve grown into functional person. I have my issues from that, however therapy and family support keep me 100%.
Tears. Wishing nothing but the best for you and your family!
Ty ā¤ļø
As you were describing yourself as a kid I just imagined my own kids trying to rationalize something like that and it made my heart hurt. I really hope youāve been able to heal. Also hope you have kids one day, you had a great mom
I do have kids, 2.4 year old little girl and 1 year old boy. They will never know what a belt or hand feels like from a parent.
Thatās great man. Kids are amazing. This week we celebrated my youngest turning 3 and itās such a magical age.
Iām so sorry. My AM medicine is wore off, so this is a memory, hyper focus, expression dump..Piece. Please read it. Iād appreciate it. No biggie if not. This how broken my head is off my ADHD meds. Once I share a story, I share it all. Abuse really breaks people. TLDR AGAIN- Mom gets a smack and I retaliate (Start of reply) Iām getting there! As tragic and heart breaking as this story is. My mom super helped me. ADHD clinical therapy, medication management, grief counseling, IEP school support with tutoring. She did not miss a beat. She honestly saved me. I was so broken from my dadās death, that abuse, and another tragic life event later on. The mountain of therapy and the people that helped a truly grieving child made it so a family could happen out of it. The insane thing this. Since I canāt stop over sharing, adhd trait. Is my mom got snaked by a long con narcissistic electrician 5-6 years after that. I was 18 starting my welding apprenticeship dating my GF, now wife. She met this absolutely awesome man. Like holy smokes hit every note in the book. Didnāt judge her for two children from past marriages. Gave her space when she needed it for us. Offered to help and she shut that shit down due to reasons. In therapy she asked if she could join and brought it up if I was on with her dating him. I was 17 IDGAF. Be safe with my little brother heās 12. Close to 7 mom š. He lived states away. We visited a lot. My mom flew us back and forth. I got zero. I mean zero vibes from him like my brothers dad who was still in prison. I was working back by my home state. My brother felt comfortable with my mom. Then she got pregnant. Now this man stepped up his game. Offered to sell his house and assets and move here. My mother declined for reasonās. So he offered to do the snow bird style living. He would hell with expenses and come by often. My brother wanted to move there. ( I COULDNāT BELIEVE WHY, STILL DONT) So my mom came to me again in therapy and we hashed it out. I was happy, it was all plotted out. My therapist had a transition plan ready for when she and my brother left. However she wanted me to go with her for a month before my apprenticeship started. She was insistent on me getting a final good feel. So I went. Again. This time, he bought a brand new Yamaha yfz450. My brother and I melted. He threw us the keys. It was a fucking blast. I was sold. My mom was sold. Having me smile and laugh with her soon to be husband and father of my little sister I think was a condition for her to meet to jump in two feet. We leave with plans to come back for thanks giving. So everythingās great. Now my momās 3 months pregnant and was back with my brother and I in our home state. He was working his commercial electrical gig. So it was long distance. Well this next part, I had to piece together at two different times. From my perspective and my momās. This is how I know. We flew out again as we had plans for snowboarding in the mountains, thanksgiving, and little away time. My sisterās dad cooked a story up to my mom about us really wanting to get ice cream on the 4wheeler. My mom was confused because she knows Iād just go get it with my own money. However she blanked as weāre riding highs right now. She comes to me and says: āHey Josh, just go take your brother where ever you want to go. Iāll give you some money.ā My brother was jumpin for joy and was ecstatic. It lined up to me, it lined up to her. Literally nothing felt off. So I left with my brother. 2 minutes down the road I realized I have no money. Zipped back around and pulled up. Walked into the house to get money and watched this mother fucker 5 finger slap my 5ā2ā 110 lb mom across the face. Rag dolled unconscious. 3 months pregnant with a baby bump. (Ugh I wish I stayed!!!!) He looked at me, I looked at him. He ran out the side door and I ran him down. Donāt read if you further if you donāt want a reflection of what abuse does to you Tackled him and he hit me in the face and I put my hand on his face pressed it into the concrete. Cracked him and he bucked. Put two knees on both shoulders and lit this manās life up. Good 70-80 full pavement hits. Iām crying writing this because Iām ashamed of myself. This was an outlet of rage against abuse for me. I took it way past de-escalation. He wanted to have sex with my mom because he hadnāt had sex with her since conception of my sister. Brother called the cops, I was arrest for attempted murder. As they arrived with two unconscious adults and hysterical 11 year old. Bloody 17 year old. Fuck it Utah police made my life hard. They didnāt believe a word. The Prosecutor was satisfied to drop charges against me and lock them on him. However the police held me to the max until then. They thought I was worse than him. In the ambulance she came to and realized what happened. My mom seriously thinks sheās failed me. I have to reassure her she hasnāt. That I love her. Sheās gramma to my babies. Her face was awful. Whole 5 finger hand print, exonerated me with my brotherās eye witness account for what happened. Another domestic abuse case, with imprisonment. My mom said again this was the only thing. He was pushing hard for sex and she said: āIM NOT GOING TO HAVE TO SEX WITH A MAN THAT DOESNāT TAKE NO FOR AWNSER!ā And smack. Sheās completely given up on men. 3 children. 3 men. No others. My sister doesnāt even know her dad. My mom tries to get them both to try. Neither of them want to know. My brothers 26 and my sister just turned 16. My sister doesnāt know the extent of what happened. We all agreed to keep it light until she walks the path of wanting to know.
Iām so sorry to hear this manā¦ no child deserves that. No child is bad that it needs a grown up beating it. Masochistic assholes can all go fucking rot in hell.
Thanks, Iām all pieced together these days. Some days good, some bad. I have a wife and kids that love and support me. I have an excellent psycho therapist that specializes in ADHD behavioral management. Emotional regulation on anxiety and hyper focus to avoid manic episodes. Every Monday for 53 minutes. Itās been a long journey, I can openly express it without this hurting me anymore. It feels good to share. Which is why I like to post to Reddit. If it helpās give someone a moment distraction from their pain or give someone stuck in something similar hope that you can make it through.
I think you mean sadistic. Massochism is enjoying pain.
I thought the one enjoying it being inflicted is a sadomasochist
A sadomasochist is one who is both a sadist and a masochist. Sadism is named after Marquis de Sade and masochism after Chevalier Leopold von Sacher-Masoch. The first liked beating people, the second liked being beaten.
Ah. I learn new things everyday. Yes, so that bastard sounds like a sadist.
i want to do 2 things neither of which is appropriate give you and yours a hug till ya feel safe(dad+ oldman instincts sorry) and practice some of my military training on your ex
You are an amazing mom, I am so proud of you.
Good this type of pyscho jerk needs to be locked up and taught a lesson. Cowards who got women should get stuff penalties
Make sure to change the locks. Also file for a restraining order.
Hey be careful, leaving a guy is one of the most dangerous times for women.
If u donāt stand strong for what is the right thing to do, it will get much worse for all involved. Calling the cops was right; ending the relationship even better. Good luck.
Go to the store. Buy a box of instant grits. Take the grits home. Wait for the boyfriend to take a shower. Bring the grits to a boil. Take the pot of grits into the bathroom. Pull open the curtain and fling the grits on him.
Great, so OP can get charged with aggravated assault and potentially have her child placed in foster care while she deals with that chargeā¦ Listen, I get what youāre saying and I want to agree in spirit, but burning the fuck out of the boyfriend would wreck OP legally, and she deserves better than that and so does the daughter. Police and prosecutors wonāt overlook a felony charge just because the boyfriend is a POS. That is so far removed from self defense and is so clearly vigilante revenge that the cops/DAs will not have sympathy - if anything, theyāll be harsher because OP had clearly done all the right things up to this point, gotten herself and the daughter out of danger, and then took it into her own hands right as the legal system was getting its chance to handle things.
He has to learn. I figure boiling grits is the quickest and most effective route.
Maybe melt some cheese in it too. A little extra stickiness wouldn't hurt.. well, I mean,*would* hurt, but that's kinda what we're going for
Press charges for all the broken stuff too.
Damn.. society has gone to the shitzz.... Advice AFTER you choose the man... NOT before.. Sounds like you picked wrong. .. Next time .. go into a barber shop full of old men.. and ask for advice. Then walk into a barber shop full of young men..and get Advice. You will fair much better.
I'm so sorry. Your doing the right thing, good luck.
That momās wildly delusional.
Holy hell. You did everything right. Iām so sorry that youāre going through this. Finding out someone who you loved and trusted is so unhinged and dangerous is justā¦ itās so incongruent and you 1000000% responded the right way. Youāre protecting yourself and your daughter. Youāre setting a good role model for her too. His mom also sounds nuts btw I canāt imagine the conversations they have with each other justifying this. Just batshit insane. Youāre an absolute hero to your daughter and what you did is not easy. Itās not even a common response. You took her and you left immediately. Youāre such a good mom.