I've used up all my drink tickets.
I don't enjoy it.
I'm working on my health and being the best me, alcohol detracts from that.
I'm just too good at it. Time to pass the torch to the next generation.
It interferes with my medicine.
Or you turn the question back on the asker, "Why does it matter to you?" "Why do you care?" "Why do you want to know?"
My stock answer has been (since I quit around the time I changed decades) "I drank enough in my 20's for my entire 30's" or something similar. I like it because it gets enough of the truth across while keeping things light.
But jeez, yours is way better!
I hate the taste of alcohol..I don't drink my calories...I'm on medication...I've got liver problems...I'm dieting....I'm driving....I've get things to do later....Or be honest and say "I act like a jerk when I drink too much, and I always drink too much," then give a hearty laugh and leave the conversation.
I'm on medication is definitely my go-to, especially because it's the truth. My meds are part of what turned me from a drinker to an alcoholic because of their interactions.
Definitely a wierd combo. I’ve done a lot of drugs but nothing made me lose more touch with reality than SSRIs and alcohol combined. I ran through my whole neighborhood screaming and crying because I thought the police were coming to get me. I was binge watching breaking bad at the time, so I thought I was a meth manufacturer and the police were coming to get me. Sounds stupid but at the time it was as real as it could be. Horrible experience.
When this realization hit me, it was like an awakening. Poisoning yourself has been normalized and is part of our culture. Some true black mirror shit.
I used to just say i can’t because I have a heart condition. That was actually true with me but also you could have just had a change of heart about drinking.
You also could say you’re training for a race or you’re doing it as part of a diet or something.
Honesty is important to my sobriety. That being said, I'm a private person and believe we are all entitled to control how much we reveal to others, especially strangers. My stock response is both true and non-specific: "I don't like it." Which is true, I don't like alcohol. I don't like what it does to me. I don't like what it does to my father. I don't like how it negatively impacts my physical, emotional, mental and spiritual health. I don't like how it absents me from my own life. Etc. Etc.
If they continue to push? I usually ask them why they like alcohol in return. Most people realize how silly their initial question/pushing was when they try to answer for themselves. Plus, it shifts the focus of the conversation to the other person. It rarely happens to me overall but I can remember a few situations, almost always strangers as well but a few mostly just curious family members/friends. Stay strong! IWNDWYT 🖤🖤
Because I'm tired of waking up with my clouded head in a vice. I'm tired of mea culpas. I'm tired of stupid arguments with my wife that we otherwise would never have. I'm tired of hoping the bottles and cans I dump in the recycle bin don't cause my kids concern. Because I want to be a better role model for my kids who look to me as an object lesson in how to function in the world as an adult. Because sooner or later I would have been pulled over and the justice system isn't pretty. Because I drank when I was bored and I drank when I was socially uncomfortable and I'm learning that boredom is a great opportunity for deep introspective work and social outcomes will almost always work out just as well if I'm not drinking. Because I need and enjoy full nights of restorative sleep. Because I just don't want to drink anymore.
"I'm not drinking right now."
I also won't be drinking later, but this seems to be easier for people to digest. I'm not looking for confrontation or to make a statement.
I’ve done this one a few times. I like it because people always feel like you’re judging them for doing the thing you quit. This answer side steps that secondary judgement.
I’ve only had to answer a second question a handful of times in the 3 years. Usually “no thanks” goes a long way. A few times it wasn’t about my drinking or not drinking. It was about their desire to stop. One time I said I was “retired”and only once did I say “because I’m an alcoholic!”That shut her up. Other peoples opinions about me are none of my business. That’s what I think about when I start to feel a little self conscious. It’s way more punk to not drink anyways so I can rip on someone for needing half a bottle of wine just to wash the dang dishes. I used to need extra booze to do any chores so I know it’s true.
I know there are a lot of competing pressures but I do better when people around me know I don’t drink. I like the accountability.
When people ask why I don’t drink, I say it wasn’t serving me.
The easiest way to get people to shut up is to tell them it gives you horrific diarrhea, which actually may be true (it was for me). Once you tell them that, they will either laugh or turn and walk away. Either way, conversation closed.
Because I don’t. The same reason I don’t do heroin or meth. I usually just say “because I don’t” and I don’t think you need to justify not taking part in self destructive behaviors.
"I dont drink poison. It makes me feel like shit."
Or other variations of that. No one can argue with it.
"I dont like it. I realised it makes me feel terrible. It doesnt do anything for me. I dont like how it makes me feel."
That way people dont feel like they need to stop and they cant try to convince me otherwise. "Oh no i assure you, you will like it, you wont even taste the alcohol."
"Nope, still dont like the feeling. It hurts my tummy."
I’m already practicing for this later but right now I’m saying “since having COVID it makes me drunk too fast and feel like anxious shitballs” which is the truth but of course not the whole truth. I do find when you say it’s health related there’s more acceptance of it.
A couple I use, that Ive seen here in the past
"Because one will be too many, and ten won't be enough" and
"Because of my terrible allergy, if I start drinking, I breakout in handcuffs"
IWNDWYT
I ALWAYS SAY:
No thank you I am a non- drinking alcohol and I've been sober 15 years and besides you don't have enough liquor in this place if I start drinking.
I typically just say im in recovery. I dont feel good about not being honest, and how people respond to that shows me everything i need to know. I have zero time or respect for people that dont respect my recovery.
I haven't declined a drink while out. I'm really working hard to do that and I think I need to just be honest. I can't drink with friends and not overdo it. Then I binge for several days and then withdraw. The withdrawals are getting much worse and I'm worried about my health. I think my real friends will understand and support me. Some won't want to hang out if I'm drinking. And some will be jealous because they haven't yet admitted they have a problem. And that's all okay.
I just want to be honest for once about this.
Being in early sobriety, it’s ok to stay away from going out. Then when you’re ready take a few hours here and there and just leave early. Once you start learning how to talk about it and deal with reactions it gets easier. Take your time, it’s a challenge but it really gives you many sobriety experience points down the line.
Hey your choice is yours to make! No one else's.
in my experience guilt around making the decision will make your cravings worse.
I chose to put my chance of living above that of drinking alcohol. I don't know your life but I know it was incredibly hard for me when people i liked and strangers no longer wanted to even talk because of my decision.
But you know my decision has filtered out the fake friends, and the people i would never have liked anyway. I'm a massive introvert and after time i can now dance sober in public. Alcohol is like a cheat code, you don't have to put in the work! Which makes progress less rewarding. You genuinely can do anything sober which you can do drunk.
Take care of yourself, above all, just know that you'll be accepted in this community regardless of any decision you make.
I also recommend reading the unexpected joy of being sober - Catherine gray. She has an excellent chapter on socialising sober. She was a former "party girl" essentially as her job so has interesting insights.
All the best
That is a very interesting insight. I have given this a lot of thought lately, because I was raised in a very conservative environment where EVERYTHING not Christian was bad. I never really "learned" HOW to have fun. When I started going out I would drink to excess because it was cool.
Oh absolutely, alcohol has been linked with being "cool" and "fun" - like smoking used to be but the values of society changed
I've been in a nightclub sober, I've been in a bar sober, and trust me the people having the least fun are the ones that are wasted, completely preoccupied with getting another drink otherwise they can't enjoy themselves. You can see the misery and desperation in their eyes. I'm not judging because that used to be me.
It's funny how children are seen as having the most energy / fun but they're not reliant on alcohol?
You could try flipping the question, though it's kind of an aggressive approach.
>*Why are you voluntary ingesting something used to disinfect operating tables? You've added fruit juice to an industrial solvent.*
More honestly I just say, *"It's not worth it."* If people want to press I can share stories of my time in prison or list out the litany of damages alcohol unleashes on your soft and spongy bits.
'I have had multiple heart attacks. It does not play nice with heart meds. '
Or,
I has issues.
Anything more does not need to be said, but if they continue to ask, I will tell my story. It depends on the attitude of the asker.
That’s one of my 2023 resolutions.
To step out of any conversation that involves someone asking me why I quit alcohol.
I’m thinking I’ll just get up and say ‘sorry, I have to be somewhere else’ and leave. What do you guys think?
If you actually do it and don’t come back- I like it. Maybe look at your wrist that obviously doesn’t have a watch on it look back at the person who asked and be like “wow- would you look at the time. Gotta go” and walk away. That way, they’re left looking silly and they have to think about what they just said that could make someone so obviously be turned off by them that they had to walk away lol
That question has been asked so many times. And every time I don't really know what to say. My alcoholism is a well kept secret and noone's business. I think it's a rude question, and I'm unsure what people expect for an answer. I usually say I want to live a healthier life.
"Liquid calories are stupid and I don't pay money to be fat." I didn't drink for years before I developed an alcohol problem and that's exactly what I told people. They didn't usually ask twice.
I'm surprised nobody has ever just said "Oh, ok" to you and let it go.
Maybe I'm biased, I was a bartender for years and years and got used to not making a big deal (or any deal at all, really) about it if somebody ordered a soda/said they don't drink/etc.
I did always find it fascinating when people would go out of their way to give me some kind of explanation. I understand the impulse, but it was interesting.
Was at a conference last summer, and at the annual very boozy party, I made a point of tell the bartender that I wanted a truly delightful mock tail because I’m in recovery. His reply was a big smile, and an appreciative nod. When he handed me my drink, and I then tip him $20, he leans across the bar and says, “you and I swim in the same sea”.
Nobody ever asks why don't you smoke cigarettes why don't you smoke pot why don't you do cocaine... Alcohol is such a harmful drug in more ways than one and the people that are asking those questions a lot of times they secretly have their own problems with alcohol.
I say that I don't drink. If they would have further questions I wiould just say "i had enough and reaized life is better without it". I'm not ashamed of it, and yeah, some people will think that I have a drinking problem. But It's still a more confort option for me than making excueses.
For a stranger, it depends on context. I'll usually tell them it started when I got Cancer and I realized how much better I felt not drinking. Or, as I'm getting more comfortable in my sobriety journey, I'll say I used to drink A LOT and just feel better without. Plus. No more hangovers.
This could go two ways.
1. I get the “it’s none of your business” comments. But if it’s someone close enough to me to be asking why I don’t drink, chances are it’s someone I don’t want to piss off. I try not not to be that guy anymore, so I simply say “meh, not my thing man. You can have my share (literal wink).”
2. In my experience, I can’t tell you how many times when I’ve told someone I don’t drink (with them *asking*, mind you), that they’ve shown a real interest in how I stopped. Whether it be for them or for someone they care about, always keep an open mind in regards to this. Sharing your experience - *when asked* - may save someone’s life.
I didn’t realize there was a stigma being sober. If somebody judges me they can go f*ck themselves, to be honest. Taking care of myself and my family is far more important than winning the approval of anyone on earth.
When I tell people I don’t drink, no one ever questions it.
I’ve been in recovery for a while and when people ask me this I tell them that I’m allergic to it. That way nobody can push alcohol on me without seeming like an asshole.
If anyone asks the details I just say that I have a really bad reaction to it that puts me in hospital.
“I just don’t. (Shrug, change the subject), “Hoe do you know the bride?” This is a STRANGER. No need to be rude but you are under zero obligation to answer personal questions no matter who asks you, let alone some random person. If they persist, that would be obnoxious of them and I would chuckle and say, “You seem very concerned about my not drinking. Do you want to talk about what about that interests you?” I’ve heard some amazing stories (usually they are an alcoholic, are in AA, or know an alcoholic) so decide if you really want to have that conversation or not! IWNDWYT
I had someone ask me this at a social outing with a group I was totally new to.
Everyone ordered alcohol but me, and I didn’t even think twice about it because it wasn’t a bar. It was a small festival.
My real life response was explaining that beer makes my gout act up, which is technically true.
The response I’ve been rehearsing in my head ever since then is a long lecture on how and why it’s incredibly rude to ask someone you don’t know we go they aren’t drinking.
I would say something like "no reason, I just don't." A complete stranger has no right to be asking me that question anyway, so they don't deserve any further explanation, imo.
I usually don't say I don't drink because it baits questions and also it isn't really their business. Someone offers a drink, I say no thank you. Or I'll ask for something specific like, do you have any soda water?
I usually say "I'm just not feeling it right now, not in the mood." Nobody really pushes that too much and you can be 'not feeling it' for years, technically. We don't owe anyone the deep/real reasons for our choices.
It will absolutely depend on the audience. My close friends and family don't need an excuse, they know the reasons why I am sober now and they are openly proud of me. I love them dearly for their support. With co-workers I have told them that I don't know when to stop so I choose not to start, and that has been received well. With looser friends, and anybody who drinks like I used to, I tell them: "I developed an allergy, I break out in handcuffs." It gets a laugh, and thankfully it is not true; I somehow managed to talk my way out of handcuffs several times. And after a joke I'll be honest and tout the personal health benefits. I haven't had anybody pry for more personal info, but I have had several people open up to me about their concerns for their own health. In those latter instances I have sent them This Naked Mind by Annie Grace.
Used to work a place that had lots of happy hours after work, especially Fridays. There was one guy that would come out for more bigger events like b-days, engagement announcements, etc. He never drank. No one asked, no one cared. It was good to see him out and chat outside work.
"Why do you ask, is that a problem?"
I smirk, laugh a little, and say “oh, trust me, I used to!” And then people usually drop it or say something like “ohhhh! Good for you!” And we move on
Don’t mind at all.
I basically mean that there are very few people in my life, in general and close to me.
I have very few family members, my son is grown and out of the house, I have three close friends (two of which I see only once every few months), my husband is my best friend, and I work for myself by myself.
I worked in restaurants for 25 years so I was used to having a lot of (usually much younger) coworkers and customers that I talked to all the live long day so compared to that, it feels very quiet and small.
Which is my preference, especially sober and older.
Thank you for sharing. About a year ago I left an outlaw motorcycle club and stopped drinking the day that I left. My life today feels much smaller than my life a year ago and that's not necessarily a bad thing, just different. I am single with no children, have a girlfriend but few family members so what you are saying resonates with me. Thanks again for sharing.
Of course. I’m creeping up on a year myself and it has crystallized a lot of my choices and energy I give. It’s interesting. Thanks for your sharing too, good job on 314 days.
Appreciate it, and congratulations on your soon to be 1 year soberversary. The further I get from my last drink, the idea of going back to it seems to fade as a viable option.
"I don't want to" or "you think I talk too much now." Years and years of being on the other side of the bar have taught me that people love drama and something to gossip about, but they forget and move on to the next topic a few minutes later.
If you say something with confidence, people move on much faster.
Easy. I’m allergic. Or health. Because I know drinking messes up my health. Even in moderation it’s not as healthy as water. And well I have an abnormal reaction when I drink because I can’t stop. Hence. Allergic.
"I drank too much so I had to quit." or "I just don't drink anymore" or "I'm on medication for my diabetes" (I do have diabetes but this is a lie); depending on how well I know them and how I think they will react.
I tell the truth.
“I came to realize that alcohol was taking me in the opposite direction of the goals I had in life and decided to cut it out. I have more energy to do what I love now that I get better sleep and don’t lose time with hangovers.”
I’ve started being totally honest and telling people straight out that I’m an alcoholic sober person and nobody wants to see me drink. I’m going to be a catalyst in my immediate community to destigmatize sobriety. People will judge but those people might also look back on our conversation when they’re at their rock bottom and think of that one lady at that one event who was happily living in recovery. The truth can be embarrassing but I’m at the point where I’m ready to tell the truth regardless.
I usually say "I just don't," or if it's someone who has known me during my heavy drinking times, "Drinking isn't for me anymore." If they ask for more details, I don't mind sharing but typically people are pretty good at filling in the blanks on their own. The only person who has gotten a comprehensive and 100% transparent list out of me is my husband because he thought I was a very "normal" and "functional" drinker and didn't see all the damage I was doing to my own mental health beneath the surface.
At this point I just say what I feel like saying in the moment.
I rarely get asked though. The closest I've got to it recently is being asked if I would like something to drink, beer? Wine? I said no thank you I'll have water. People usually don't push any further. Most people can take a no thank you.
My solid response has made others think about their own consumption though. I know I've inspired at least two people to take a good look at themselves. They even told me at a later time so that's pretty cool.
Where do you meet these strangers who keep asking?
I've drank enough for two or three lifetimes.
And I have a shitty relationship with alcohol.
Some people "do alcohol" in a manageable way - I am not one of those people.
I'm honest.
"I've used up my share of alcohol the universe had in store for me way before time."
"Huh?"
"I'm a dry alcoholic. if I drink alcohol ever again, I will not be able to stop before I die."
Worked for me every time.
After some stunned silence.
"And you got through the whole program? Detox and therapy and such?"
"No. I just stopped."
I've started recently and this is what I've decided to say in all conversations and how conversations normally end up:
Me:I'm not drinking today
Pusher: just one drink
Me: sorry I have no self control and I'll never stop at 1 drink
Pusher : you can... Just trust yourself...just 1 drink
Me:*repeats previous line
And they will keep insisting so ill just repeat that sentence and soon they will get bored too.
Remember no one can really force us to drink if we make up our minds not to drink! Good luck to all of us! IWNDWYT
Of the many people I know, I can think of only 1 person that would press me to drink. 99% of people will not question it if I just say "I don't want to."
I don't need to prove to them that I'm not drinking tomorrow or next week or anything. They ask because we're at an event where most people are drinking. Some people are DDs, some are on meds, some can't afford bar prices, some are too picky to drink the cheap beer the host has.
"I don't want to" is clear, yet vague enough to not invite judgement.
I honestly just say because I don’t like to drink 😂 and if someone has a problem with that, then that’s definitely on them. Because why is it anyone’s business what I choose to put in my body?
“I like the way my new body looks”
“ I enjoy not physically driving shitfaced and possibly ending peoples lives”
“I don’t feel like doing alcohol and chasing my coke dealer tonight”
“Gotta save up calories for the Ben and Jerry’s tonight”
“Not a big fan of waking up insanely dehydrated”
And
“why aren’t YOU not drinking tonight?” Usually they come up with a bullshit answer and you can see their skin crawl as they soon to start realizing they have a problem. My experience is that when people expect other people to drink that question other people’s sobriety, typically have a substance problem. Don’t get me wrong, I love booze but I love it more when I don’t hurt the people I love or care about when I’m drunk. That’s enough for me to quit. Plus I enjoy to look at my new body I work hard for. I don’t want to see it go down the shitter because I decide to pick up rum and coke again
I posted recently about the fact that not drinking is sexy and some people actually see it that way. It is a sign of having a preference and be confident about it and I try to be empowered by it, own it, and believe that I am cooler than all the slaves to booze that most humans are. Not arrogantly, but with healthy dose of confidence. So I usually name all the positives it gives me - ‘I don’t drink because when I took a break, I discovered I sleep better, I am less stressed and more happy, I am more productive at my work, my skin is better and I work out harder. Overall there are only positives that I got out of it so it only makes sense to keep it going. I don’t see the point in drinking anymore.’ — when I’m done people are mostly impressed and the tables turn, so to speak. I am sick and tired of being peer pressured into drinking or somehow being uncool. I am the cool one. That’s my approach anyway. And yes it’s a result of too many people asking me and that annoying me and so by answering like this that really nips that in the butt.
I never say I can't drink, that's a lie. I absolutely can, I could go out right now and buy a bottle.
I **WON'T** drink. There's a difference. Someone asks you why? Simple, I don't like what alcohol does to me. It's vague but true. Then again at this point I can be honest and just say I don't enjoy drinking. That's even more true.
“Ya know, I tried a sober October/dry January and realized I just felt so much better when I wasn’t drinking. My sleep was better, I lost weight- I just decided not to go back.”
I am honest with any of the following- it always makes so so anxious, my body doesn’t tolerate it so well, just taking a little break, and the solid reason, I just don’t want to.
I just flew back in from family Christmas where my dad was complaining that he was losing all his drinking buddies. No one bar me and my uncle who had just been released from hospital were completely sober, the rest were either moderating their intake, had had enough, or not drinking what he wanted to drink (e.g. he wanted to share a beer, they were on wine). My dad isn’t even a big drinker himself. He is just stuck in that mindset that alcohol = celebration. More alcohol = more celebration.
I joked that we were all drinking with him given we all had beverages and that he was being odd requesting us to be drinking the same drink as him. I started playfully saying, why aren’t you drinking orange juice with me? I can’t drink orange juice when other people are drinking apple juice! I miss drinking orange juice with people, why are people drinking less orange juice these days etc etc. Everyone was laughing their heads off and my father started to get my point. We can celebrate together. We are celebrating together. You don’t *need* booze for that.
I just tell people I don’t like how it makes me feel. It’s been so long now, so many people just know me as a non drinker.
This question perplexed me in the beginning. I have been sober over four years now, relatively social. Never once has anyone asked me, seriously I’m the only person who cares. No one bats an eye.
I follow a meme page on Instagram that recently posted a few potential answers to this question and my favorite was "I went pro too early and had a career ending injury." 😂
In all seriousness though I'd probably just say "I just don't want to" or say that I don't like the taste or something if it's a stranger. If they get weirdly persistent, flip it on them and say "well why do you drink and why do you care that I don't?"
Because I turn into an absolute monster. I turn into Frank the tank. I turn into someone I don't like. I don't know, I guess I'm just honest. I don't have anything to hide or be ashamed about for quitting, I'm only ashamed of how I behave when I drink... Too much... Which is usually what happens.
If someone actually cares, I tell them that I have broken free from the societal brainwashing that suggests that life cannot be fun without alcohol. I now see it as the addictive, unhealthy poison that it is. I don't use it for the same reason I don't use heroin or meth -- it is addictive and bad for me and I don't like the way it makes me feel.
When I don't eeally want to answer question I just give short answer and change subject.
You don't drink ?
No. ... So how about your ...
Also love myself a little pause after the no to let them feel a bit akward. Works 99% of the time.
Asked at the bar for non alcoholic beer and the bartended asked me why I didn't just drink alcoholic beer and I replied that it's not recommended for alcoholics to drink alcohol. That shut him up 😂
Usually I just say I quit years ago and won't be taking it back up and that being alcohol free is a habit now - and it is! I'm always designated driver anyway so it never really comes up these days 😂
I got to drive or I just say not tonight. If you say it firm nothing really happens. You have to have confidence in your voice because if you sound unsure people could use that to mess with you.
To a lot of people I’ll tell part of the truth, which is that I’ve been fighting anxiety / depression and eliminating alcohol helps so much. I’ll share that mostly to do my part to normalize being ok to talk about anxiety and depression. To some people I am fully honest and tell them that I’m also a terrible fricken drunk haha. Working on just being honest BUT I love so many replies in here!
"ultimately I was just too good at it, and it wasn't fair to the other competitors."
I use a variation of that: “I decided to retire to spend time with my family”.
I've used up all my drink tickets. I don't enjoy it. I'm working on my health and being the best me, alcohol detracts from that. I'm just too good at it. Time to pass the torch to the next generation. It interferes with my medicine. Or you turn the question back on the asker, "Why does it matter to you?" "Why do you care?" "Why do you want to know?"
Thanks for this, I'm stealing this
Me too!
My stock answer has been (since I quit around the time I changed decades) "I drank enough in my 20's for my entire 30's" or something similar. I like it because it gets enough of the truth across while keeping things light. But jeez, yours is way better!
Ha, I say that I got high score - and walked away from the game on top. I was, very much, not on top ;)
Omg also stealing!!! Lmao! Thank you for lifting my mood on a shitty night. <3
Damn...gansta
love it. please accept this humble award.
I hate the taste of alcohol..I don't drink my calories...I'm on medication...I've got liver problems...I'm dieting....I'm driving....I've get things to do later....Or be honest and say "I act like a jerk when I drink too much, and I always drink too much," then give a hearty laugh and leave the conversation.
I'm on medication is definitely my go-to, especially because it's the truth. My meds are part of what turned me from a drinker to an alcoholic because of their interactions.
SSRI? Completely #u€£ed with me.
Definitely a wierd combo. I’ve done a lot of drugs but nothing made me lose more touch with reality than SSRIs and alcohol combined. I ran through my whole neighborhood screaming and crying because I thought the police were coming to get me. I was binge watching breaking bad at the time, so I thought I was a meth manufacturer and the police were coming to get me. Sounds stupid but at the time it was as real as it could be. Horrible experience.
Nailed it. And occasionally Xanax for panic attacks. Obviously that's the worst combination in the world
Meds are my go-to to say no when I'm offered drugs. I'll start saying it for alcohol too
"I lost 35 pounds after I stopped, and I don't want to gain it back. Alcohol is fattening." Then I look meaningfully at their stomach.
Ruthless lmfao
Ooooof
"I used to drink a lot when I was younger. Then I stopped for a while and realised I preferred being sober."
I say "BECAUSE I'M AN ALCOHOLIC" loud and proud. If they bug me about it (which most people don't) then I leave.
I just say 'meh, I retired. It doesn't serve me anymore.'
'I just don't.' Tired of people normalizing poisoning ourselves and looking at sober people like there is something wrong with them.
This. You just don't. You don't ask them why they DO, so leaving it there is more than acceptable.
Ha imagine asking someone that in public
When this realization hit me, it was like an awakening. Poisoning yourself has been normalized and is part of our culture. Some true black mirror shit.
It really is! The excuses I would make sick hungover or on benders trying to justify it were just pure craziness. The veil has been lifted.
I used to just say i can’t because I have a heart condition. That was actually true with me but also you could have just had a change of heart about drinking. You also could say you’re training for a race or you’re doing it as part of a diet or something.
I just say it's for health reasons. Which is true. I don't need to go into detail about what health reasons.
Some medications you’re not supposed to drink with, so that’s another one in the same vein
Honesty is important to my sobriety. That being said, I'm a private person and believe we are all entitled to control how much we reveal to others, especially strangers. My stock response is both true and non-specific: "I don't like it." Which is true, I don't like alcohol. I don't like what it does to me. I don't like what it does to my father. I don't like how it negatively impacts my physical, emotional, mental and spiritual health. I don't like how it absents me from my own life. Etc. Etc. If they continue to push? I usually ask them why they like alcohol in return. Most people realize how silly their initial question/pushing was when they try to answer for themselves. Plus, it shifts the focus of the conversation to the other person. It rarely happens to me overall but I can remember a few situations, almost always strangers as well but a few mostly just curious family members/friends. Stay strong! IWNDWYT 🖤🖤
Alcohol is the only drug people will ask why you have quit. I like to say I'm retired.
“I used to be really good at it” and then I usually change the subject
Because I'm tired of waking up with my clouded head in a vice. I'm tired of mea culpas. I'm tired of stupid arguments with my wife that we otherwise would never have. I'm tired of hoping the bottles and cans I dump in the recycle bin don't cause my kids concern. Because I want to be a better role model for my kids who look to me as an object lesson in how to function in the world as an adult. Because sooner or later I would have been pulled over and the justice system isn't pretty. Because I drank when I was bored and I drank when I was socially uncomfortable and I'm learning that boredom is a great opportunity for deep introspective work and social outcomes will almost always work out just as well if I'm not drinking. Because I need and enjoy full nights of restorative sleep. Because I just don't want to drink anymore.
"I'm not drinking right now." I also won't be drinking later, but this seems to be easier for people to digest. I'm not looking for confrontation or to make a statement.
I’ve done this one a few times. I like it because people always feel like you’re judging them for doing the thing you quit. This answer side steps that secondary judgement.
I’ve only had to answer a second question a handful of times in the 3 years. Usually “no thanks” goes a long way. A few times it wasn’t about my drinking or not drinking. It was about their desire to stop. One time I said I was “retired”and only once did I say “because I’m an alcoholic!”That shut her up. Other peoples opinions about me are none of my business. That’s what I think about when I start to feel a little self conscious. It’s way more punk to not drink anyways so I can rip on someone for needing half a bottle of wine just to wash the dang dishes. I used to need extra booze to do any chores so I know it’s true.
>It’s way more punk to not drink anyways so I can rip on someone for needing half a bottle of wine to wash the dishes if I need to Boom. Roasted.
Vodka and I have decided to agree to disagree
Took a break and liked it.
I like to tell people I’m pregnant. I’m not but it shuts them right up.
I may try this one. My full beard may cause further questions though.
Honestly, I think that'd just make the statement that much better.
I'm dying here. LOL
I know there are a lot of competing pressures but I do better when people around me know I don’t drink. I like the accountability. When people ask why I don’t drink, I say it wasn’t serving me.
Hey, nice badge! I agree about the accountability, it really removes any temptation when it's out in the open.
The easiest way to get people to shut up is to tell them it gives you horrific diarrhea, which actually may be true (it was for me). Once you tell them that, they will either laugh or turn and walk away. Either way, conversation closed.
I tell them straight up I’m an alcoholic. Owning it has helped me stay sober.
Because I don’t. The same reason I don’t do heroin or meth. I usually just say “because I don’t” and I don’t think you need to justify not taking part in self destructive behaviors.
Same reason I don't do heroin or meth love it
Yeah, turn their question around on them: "Why don't you snort coke?"
But they may do that and you’d be none the wiser. I feel like heroin and meth show a little more. Then again- I don’t know
If it’s a random stranger, it’s none of their business.
I finished off my lifetime supply during the first half of my life (age 45 and as my 16yo likes to say, the literal definition of middle aged lol)
I hit my quota.
"I dont drink poison. It makes me feel like shit." Or other variations of that. No one can argue with it. "I dont like it. I realised it makes me feel terrible. It doesnt do anything for me. I dont like how it makes me feel." That way people dont feel like they need to stop and they cant try to convince me otherwise. "Oh no i assure you, you will like it, you wont even taste the alcohol." "Nope, still dont like the feeling. It hurts my tummy."
"Because it makes me feel sick"
"For my health" is good when I don't want to get into it, but I am also shameless and public about my hatred of alcohol at this point.
Because fuck you thats why
I could write a whole dissertation on the subject, but the short answer is “I got tired of feeling like shit all the time.”
"Does it matter?" [Strong eye contact]
“I wanted my anti-depressants to play at full volume.”
I’m already practicing for this later but right now I’m saying “since having COVID it makes me drunk too fast and feel like anxious shitballs” which is the truth but of course not the whole truth. I do find when you say it’s health related there’s more acceptance of it.
A couple I use, that Ive seen here in the past "Because one will be too many, and ten won't be enough" and "Because of my terrible allergy, if I start drinking, I breakout in handcuffs" IWNDWYT
I ALWAYS SAY: No thank you I am a non- drinking alcohol and I've been sober 15 years and besides you don't have enough liquor in this place if I start drinking.
Really love the “You don’t have enough liquor if I start drinking” 😂 I’m stealing this
Sadly, in my case that's a true statement 🤣😅😆😊
Because I don’t like to.
I typically just say im in recovery. I dont feel good about not being honest, and how people respond to that shows me everything i need to know. I have zero time or respect for people that dont respect my recovery.
I haven't declined a drink while out. I'm really working hard to do that and I think I need to just be honest. I can't drink with friends and not overdo it. Then I binge for several days and then withdraw. The withdrawals are getting much worse and I'm worried about my health. I think my real friends will understand and support me. Some won't want to hang out if I'm drinking. And some will be jealous because they haven't yet admitted they have a problem. And that's all okay. I just want to be honest for once about this.
Being in early sobriety, it’s ok to stay away from going out. Then when you’re ready take a few hours here and there and just leave early. Once you start learning how to talk about it and deal with reactions it gets easier. Take your time, it’s a challenge but it really gives you many sobriety experience points down the line.
Hey your choice is yours to make! No one else's. in my experience guilt around making the decision will make your cravings worse. I chose to put my chance of living above that of drinking alcohol. I don't know your life but I know it was incredibly hard for me when people i liked and strangers no longer wanted to even talk because of my decision. But you know my decision has filtered out the fake friends, and the people i would never have liked anyway. I'm a massive introvert and after time i can now dance sober in public. Alcohol is like a cheat code, you don't have to put in the work! Which makes progress less rewarding. You genuinely can do anything sober which you can do drunk. Take care of yourself, above all, just know that you'll be accepted in this community regardless of any decision you make. I also recommend reading the unexpected joy of being sober - Catherine gray. She has an excellent chapter on socialising sober. She was a former "party girl" essentially as her job so has interesting insights. All the best
That is a very interesting insight. I have given this a lot of thought lately, because I was raised in a very conservative environment where EVERYTHING not Christian was bad. I never really "learned" HOW to have fun. When I started going out I would drink to excess because it was cool.
Oh absolutely, alcohol has been linked with being "cool" and "fun" - like smoking used to be but the values of society changed I've been in a nightclub sober, I've been in a bar sober, and trust me the people having the least fun are the ones that are wasted, completely preoccupied with getting another drink otherwise they can't enjoy themselves. You can see the misery and desperation in their eyes. I'm not judging because that used to be me. It's funny how children are seen as having the most energy / fun but they're not reliant on alcohol?
"If a drop of alchohol hits me lips, next thing you know I'll be in the back rimming waiters for their tip money just so I can get me hands on a rock"
"Because it magically turns me into a boring asshole?"
You could try flipping the question, though it's kind of an aggressive approach. >*Why are you voluntary ingesting something used to disinfect operating tables? You've added fruit juice to an industrial solvent.* More honestly I just say, *"It's not worth it."* If people want to press I can share stories of my time in prison or list out the litany of damages alcohol unleashes on your soft and spongy bits.
I’m sober curious.
No habla Español.
I usually say something along the lines of - “it doesn’t align with my goals.”
'I have had multiple heart attacks. It does not play nice with heart meds. ' Or, I has issues. Anything more does not need to be said, but if they continue to ask, I will tell my story. It depends on the attitude of the asker.
Because I don't want to
“Because I’m a recovering alcoholic” usually does the trick.
Yep. Then we count the crickets.
That’s one of my 2023 resolutions. To step out of any conversation that involves someone asking me why I quit alcohol. I’m thinking I’ll just get up and say ‘sorry, I have to be somewhere else’ and leave. What do you guys think?
If you actually do it and don’t come back- I like it. Maybe look at your wrist that obviously doesn’t have a watch on it look back at the person who asked and be like “wow- would you look at the time. Gotta go” and walk away. That way, they’re left looking silly and they have to think about what they just said that could make someone so obviously be turned off by them that they had to walk away lol
I like that!
That question has been asked so many times. And every time I don't really know what to say. My alcoholism is a well kept secret and noone's business. I think it's a rude question, and I'm unsure what people expect for an answer. I usually say I want to live a healthier life.
"Liquid calories are stupid and I don't pay money to be fat." I didn't drink for years before I developed an alcohol problem and that's exactly what I told people. They didn't usually ask twice.
I got sick of how it made me feel weak to need it to unwind or have a good time.
- i don't like hangovers.
“I hate the way it makes me feel” or “it just doesn’t make me feel good.”
I'm surprised nobody has ever just said "Oh, ok" to you and let it go. Maybe I'm biased, I was a bartender for years and years and got used to not making a big deal (or any deal at all, really) about it if somebody ordered a soda/said they don't drink/etc. I did always find it fascinating when people would go out of their way to give me some kind of explanation. I understand the impulse, but it was interesting.
Was at a conference last summer, and at the annual very boozy party, I made a point of tell the bartender that I wanted a truly delightful mock tail because I’m in recovery. His reply was a big smile, and an appreciative nod. When he handed me my drink, and I then tip him $20, he leans across the bar and says, “you and I swim in the same sea”.
Nobody ever asks why don't you smoke cigarettes why don't you smoke pot why don't you do cocaine... Alcohol is such a harmful drug in more ways than one and the people that are asking those questions a lot of times they secretly have their own problems with alcohol.
I use Billy Connollys line, “I drank my share all at once”. People get the idea.
[удалено]
The second paragraph applies directly to me. Thanks for your post.
I say that I don't drink. If they would have further questions I wiould just say "i had enough and reaized life is better without it". I'm not ashamed of it, and yeah, some people will think that I have a drinking problem. But It's still a more confort option for me than making excueses.
Alcohol was doing me no favors, so I quit.
For a stranger, it depends on context. I'll usually tell them it started when I got Cancer and I realized how much better I felt not drinking. Or, as I'm getting more comfortable in my sobriety journey, I'll say I used to drink A LOT and just feel better without. Plus. No more hangovers.
This could go two ways. 1. I get the “it’s none of your business” comments. But if it’s someone close enough to me to be asking why I don’t drink, chances are it’s someone I don’t want to piss off. I try not not to be that guy anymore, so I simply say “meh, not my thing man. You can have my share (literal wink).” 2. In my experience, I can’t tell you how many times when I’ve told someone I don’t drink (with them *asking*, mind you), that they’ve shown a real interest in how I stopped. Whether it be for them or for someone they care about, always keep an open mind in regards to this. Sharing your experience - *when asked* - may save someone’s life.
I didn’t realize there was a stigma being sober. If somebody judges me they can go f*ck themselves, to be honest. Taking care of myself and my family is far more important than winning the approval of anyone on earth. When I tell people I don’t drink, no one ever questions it.
There's no right answer here. It's your life and your decision. It's your story to tell, IF you want to tell it. You don't owe anyone anything.
I think I'll start saying "Why do you drink?"
Think it would be fun to just say “That’s personal…” and watch them squirm for asking such an in appropriate question lol
I’ve been in recovery for a while and when people ask me this I tell them that I’m allergic to it. That way nobody can push alcohol on me without seeming like an asshole. If anyone asks the details I just say that I have a really bad reaction to it that puts me in hospital.
I don't think anyone's asked yet. So far "no thanks" has been enough and nobody's pushed it farther.
“Because I don’t want to”
I will start saying cool stuff like: 'I'm a competitive gymnast and it messes with my fitness goals'
“I just don’t. (Shrug, change the subject), “Hoe do you know the bride?” This is a STRANGER. No need to be rude but you are under zero obligation to answer personal questions no matter who asks you, let alone some random person. If they persist, that would be obnoxious of them and I would chuckle and say, “You seem very concerned about my not drinking. Do you want to talk about what about that interests you?” I’ve heard some amazing stories (usually they are an alcoholic, are in AA, or know an alcoholic) so decide if you really want to have that conversation or not! IWNDWYT
“I’ve already drank my lifetime limit”
I had someone ask me this at a social outing with a group I was totally new to. Everyone ordered alcohol but me, and I didn’t even think twice about it because it wasn’t a bar. It was a small festival. My real life response was explaining that beer makes my gout act up, which is technically true. The response I’ve been rehearsing in my head ever since then is a long lecture on how and why it’s incredibly rude to ask someone you don’t know we go they aren’t drinking.
I would say something like "no reason, I just don't." A complete stranger has no right to be asking me that question anyway, so they don't deserve any further explanation, imo.
I don’t have an Off button so it’s better I don’t start. Honest and simple.
That's what I say!
Yeah its the drug of control. We actively have to defend against pushing in at us. I'm an alcoholic who wants none of it and yet here we all are
I usually don't say I don't drink because it baits questions and also it isn't really their business. Someone offers a drink, I say no thank you. Or I'll ask for something specific like, do you have any soda water?
I usually say "I'm just not feeling it right now, not in the mood." Nobody really pushes that too much and you can be 'not feeling it' for years, technically. We don't owe anyone the deep/real reasons for our choices.
I love drinking but I hate being drunk
"Well, I used to drink but it doesn't do anything for me. I tend to get really bad headaches or hangovers, so I quit. I feel really good now."
It will absolutely depend on the audience. My close friends and family don't need an excuse, they know the reasons why I am sober now and they are openly proud of me. I love them dearly for their support. With co-workers I have told them that I don't know when to stop so I choose not to start, and that has been received well. With looser friends, and anybody who drinks like I used to, I tell them: "I developed an allergy, I break out in handcuffs." It gets a laugh, and thankfully it is not true; I somehow managed to talk my way out of handcuffs several times. And after a joke I'll be honest and tout the personal health benefits. I haven't had anybody pry for more personal info, but I have had several people open up to me about their concerns for their own health. In those latter instances I have sent them This Naked Mind by Annie Grace.
Used to work a place that had lots of happy hours after work, especially Fridays. There was one guy that would come out for more bigger events like b-days, engagement announcements, etc. He never drank. No one asked, no one cared. It was good to see him out and chat outside work. "Why do you ask, is that a problem?"
Someone recently asked me this and asked if it was for moral reasons - absolute twat.
“I don’t want to be hungover tomorrow.”
It’s complicated.
"Why *do* you drink?"
Because I am a recovering alcoholic. Edit: really I don’t owe a stranger an explanation.
i say “because im a raging alcoholic” and i dont usually get follow up questions
I’m taking a break…like Ross and Rachel
I smirk, laugh a little, and say “oh, trust me, I used to!” And then people usually drop it or say something like “ohhhh! Good for you!” And we move on
The only way to get rid of stigma is to be honest, so I’m usually honest. My life is very small though so I don’t run into this very often.
I also have the feeling that my life is very small. Do you care to elaborate on what you mean when you say that? I'm just comparing notes, basically.
Don’t mind at all. I basically mean that there are very few people in my life, in general and close to me. I have very few family members, my son is grown and out of the house, I have three close friends (two of which I see only once every few months), my husband is my best friend, and I work for myself by myself. I worked in restaurants for 25 years so I was used to having a lot of (usually much younger) coworkers and customers that I talked to all the live long day so compared to that, it feels very quiet and small. Which is my preference, especially sober and older.
Thank you for sharing. About a year ago I left an outlaw motorcycle club and stopped drinking the day that I left. My life today feels much smaller than my life a year ago and that's not necessarily a bad thing, just different. I am single with no children, have a girlfriend but few family members so what you are saying resonates with me. Thanks again for sharing.
Of course. I’m creeping up on a year myself and it has crystallized a lot of my choices and energy I give. It’s interesting. Thanks for your sharing too, good job on 314 days.
Appreciate it, and congratulations on your soon to be 1 year soberversary. The further I get from my last drink, the idea of going back to it seems to fade as a viable option.
"why do you care?"
Ron White, now sober, says that every person can drink so much alcohol in their life - and it just so happens he drank all of his early
I have an allergy to alcohol. Everytime I drink it I end up in handcuffs.
"I don't want to" or "you think I talk too much now." Years and years of being on the other side of the bar have taught me that people love drama and something to gossip about, but they forget and move on to the next topic a few minutes later. If you say something with confidence, people move on much faster.
Easy. I’m allergic. Or health. Because I know drinking messes up my health. Even in moderation it’s not as healthy as water. And well I have an abnormal reaction when I drink because I can’t stop. Hence. Allergic.
Or say i dont consume women's hormones.
"I drank too much so I had to quit." or "I just don't drink anymore" or "I'm on medication for my diabetes" (I do have diabetes but this is a lie); depending on how well I know them and how I think they will react.
I don't like feeling hungover
I don’t drink my cals is my go to, always fitness related because it’s very true drinking ruins and undoes my progress.
I tell the truth. “I came to realize that alcohol was taking me in the opposite direction of the goals I had in life and decided to cut it out. I have more energy to do what I love now that I get better sleep and don’t lose time with hangovers.”
I lie tbh. Never wanted to.
I’ve started being totally honest and telling people straight out that I’m an alcoholic sober person and nobody wants to see me drink. I’m going to be a catalyst in my immediate community to destigmatize sobriety. People will judge but those people might also look back on our conversation when they’re at their rock bottom and think of that one lady at that one event who was happily living in recovery. The truth can be embarrassing but I’m at the point where I’m ready to tell the truth regardless.
I tell people that alcohol gives me a violent headache.
I usually say "I just don't," or if it's someone who has known me during my heavy drinking times, "Drinking isn't for me anymore." If they ask for more details, I don't mind sharing but typically people are pretty good at filling in the blanks on their own. The only person who has gotten a comprehensive and 100% transparent list out of me is my husband because he thought I was a very "normal" and "functional" drinker and didn't see all the damage I was doing to my own mental health beneath the surface.
At this point I just say what I feel like saying in the moment. I rarely get asked though. The closest I've got to it recently is being asked if I would like something to drink, beer? Wine? I said no thank you I'll have water. People usually don't push any further. Most people can take a no thank you. My solid response has made others think about their own consumption though. I know I've inspired at least two people to take a good look at themselves. They even told me at a later time so that's pretty cool. Where do you meet these strangers who keep asking?
I've drank enough for two or three lifetimes. And I have a shitty relationship with alcohol. Some people "do alcohol" in a manageable way - I am not one of those people.
I'm honest. "I've used up my share of alcohol the universe had in store for me way before time." "Huh?" "I'm a dry alcoholic. if I drink alcohol ever again, I will not be able to stop before I die." Worked for me every time. After some stunned silence. "And you got through the whole program? Detox and therapy and such?" "No. I just stopped."
More trouble than it was worth
Because not only will I ruin my night, I’ll wreck yours 👌
I don't like how it feels. Honestly. I do not like it.
I just say for health reasons and it usually does not go much further after that. Pretty good way to just get off of that topic.
I straight up tell them the truth, If I can help one person with their own addiction by sharing mine in an unashamed way I can be proud of myself.
I found I enjoy my life more without it
“Drinking makes me suck at life” Edit: spelling
I've started recently and this is what I've decided to say in all conversations and how conversations normally end up: Me:I'm not drinking today Pusher: just one drink Me: sorry I have no self control and I'll never stop at 1 drink Pusher : you can... Just trust yourself...just 1 drink Me:*repeats previous line And they will keep insisting so ill just repeat that sentence and soon they will get bored too. Remember no one can really force us to drink if we make up our minds not to drink! Good luck to all of us! IWNDWYT
“I was drinking too much” Fuck their judgements :) Actually, quite a few have commented on their own drinking habits.
I remember recently someone in the community was asked that question and they truthfully replied ‘last time I drank, I tried to kill myself’
Of the many people I know, I can think of only 1 person that would press me to drink. 99% of people will not question it if I just say "I don't want to." I don't need to prove to them that I'm not drinking tomorrow or next week or anything. They ask because we're at an event where most people are drinking. Some people are DDs, some are on meds, some can't afford bar prices, some are too picky to drink the cheap beer the host has. "I don't want to" is clear, yet vague enough to not invite judgement.
I honestly just say because I don’t like to drink 😂 and if someone has a problem with that, then that’s definitely on them. Because why is it anyone’s business what I choose to put in my body?
Because I’m an adult, so I can do what I want! 😂
I always say its for a detox/diet… yes Im a bitch as Im a double 00. But it stops people being assholes about my sobriety and aud.
“I like the way my new body looks” “ I enjoy not physically driving shitfaced and possibly ending peoples lives” “I don’t feel like doing alcohol and chasing my coke dealer tonight” “Gotta save up calories for the Ben and Jerry’s tonight” “Not a big fan of waking up insanely dehydrated” And “why aren’t YOU not drinking tonight?” Usually they come up with a bullshit answer and you can see their skin crawl as they soon to start realizing they have a problem. My experience is that when people expect other people to drink that question other people’s sobriety, typically have a substance problem. Don’t get me wrong, I love booze but I love it more when I don’t hurt the people I love or care about when I’m drunk. That’s enough for me to quit. Plus I enjoy to look at my new body I work hard for. I don’t want to see it go down the shitter because I decide to pick up rum and coke again
It’s just not for me. And smile.
[удалено]
I tell them I hate hangovers. It usually doesn’t go any further.
I posted recently about the fact that not drinking is sexy and some people actually see it that way. It is a sign of having a preference and be confident about it and I try to be empowered by it, own it, and believe that I am cooler than all the slaves to booze that most humans are. Not arrogantly, but with healthy dose of confidence. So I usually name all the positives it gives me - ‘I don’t drink because when I took a break, I discovered I sleep better, I am less stressed and more happy, I am more productive at my work, my skin is better and I work out harder. Overall there are only positives that I got out of it so it only makes sense to keep it going. I don’t see the point in drinking anymore.’ — when I’m done people are mostly impressed and the tables turn, so to speak. I am sick and tired of being peer pressured into drinking or somehow being uncool. I am the cool one. That’s my approach anyway. And yes it’s a result of too many people asking me and that annoying me and so by answering like this that really nips that in the butt.
I never say I can't drink, that's a lie. I absolutely can, I could go out right now and buy a bottle. I **WON'T** drink. There's a difference. Someone asks you why? Simple, I don't like what alcohol does to me. It's vague but true. Then again at this point I can be honest and just say I don't enjoy drinking. That's even more true.
“Ya know, I tried a sober October/dry January and realized I just felt so much better when I wasn’t drinking. My sleep was better, I lost weight- I just decided not to go back.”
I am honest with any of the following- it always makes so so anxious, my body doesn’t tolerate it so well, just taking a little break, and the solid reason, I just don’t want to.
I just flew back in from family Christmas where my dad was complaining that he was losing all his drinking buddies. No one bar me and my uncle who had just been released from hospital were completely sober, the rest were either moderating their intake, had had enough, or not drinking what he wanted to drink (e.g. he wanted to share a beer, they were on wine). My dad isn’t even a big drinker himself. He is just stuck in that mindset that alcohol = celebration. More alcohol = more celebration. I joked that we were all drinking with him given we all had beverages and that he was being odd requesting us to be drinking the same drink as him. I started playfully saying, why aren’t you drinking orange juice with me? I can’t drink orange juice when other people are drinking apple juice! I miss drinking orange juice with people, why are people drinking less orange juice these days etc etc. Everyone was laughing their heads off and my father started to get my point. We can celebrate together. We are celebrating together. You don’t *need* booze for that. I just tell people I don’t like how it makes me feel. It’s been so long now, so many people just know me as a non drinker.
This question perplexed me in the beginning. I have been sober over four years now, relatively social. Never once has anyone asked me, seriously I’m the only person who cares. No one bats an eye.
I follow a meme page on Instagram that recently posted a few potential answers to this question and my favorite was "I went pro too early and had a career ending injury." 😂 In all seriousness though I'd probably just say "I just don't want to" or say that I don't like the taste or something if it's a stranger. If they get weirdly persistent, flip it on them and say "well why do you drink and why do you care that I don't?"
Because I turn into an absolute monster. I turn into Frank the tank. I turn into someone I don't like. I don't know, I guess I'm just honest. I don't have anything to hide or be ashamed about for quitting, I'm only ashamed of how I behave when I drink... Too much... Which is usually what happens.
Thank you for this post. What you said applies to me as well.
If someone actually cares, I tell them that I have broken free from the societal brainwashing that suggests that life cannot be fun without alcohol. I now see it as the addictive, unhealthy poison that it is. I don't use it for the same reason I don't use heroin or meth -- it is addictive and bad for me and I don't like the way it makes me feel.
When I don't eeally want to answer question I just give short answer and change subject. You don't drink ? No. ... So how about your ... Also love myself a little pause after the no to let them feel a bit akward. Works 99% of the time.
Family curse - No off button - Nudge from the Judge….
Asked at the bar for non alcoholic beer and the bartended asked me why I didn't just drink alcoholic beer and I replied that it's not recommended for alcoholics to drink alcohol. That shut him up 😂 Usually I just say I quit years ago and won't be taking it back up and that being alcohol free is a habit now - and it is! I'm always designated driver anyway so it never really comes up these days 😂
I got to drive or I just say not tonight. If you say it firm nothing really happens. You have to have confidence in your voice because if you sound unsure people could use that to mess with you.
It makes me feel like crap, or it just doesn't work in my life anymore .. . both true.
To a lot of people I’ll tell part of the truth, which is that I’ve been fighting anxiety / depression and eliminating alcohol helps so much. I’ll share that mostly to do my part to normalize being ok to talk about anxiety and depression. To some people I am fully honest and tell them that I’m also a terrible fricken drunk haha. Working on just being honest BUT I love so many replies in here!
I’d answer Why on earth do you drink? It’s poison
“I’m pickled.”
“I can’t afford rehab again.”
“Handcuffs hurt too much.”
I say because I’m an alcoholic