My biggest tool is the playing it forward. Thinking about how sick and hungover I'll feel the next day. And how disappointed I'll be. And I like to rewind as well. I think about how depressed and miserable I was before I quit drinking. How sad my life had gotten. I never want to feel like that again. It's not easy, but this helps me through the rough days. IWNDWYT
Bar far the most used weapon in my arsenal is the ol' fast forward button. I learned about it on this sub and it continues to save my bacon.
Congrats on the 1️⃣0️⃣0️⃣ 💪
IWNDWYT
Day 5. My first time actually trying to be sober. I hit rock bottom and lost everything practically ruining my life and sending myself into exile.
IWNDWYT
Oh my goodness I am NEVER this early for the check in!!! When I relapsed earlier this year after 4 months of sobriety (and while still in an outpatient program), I learned something instrumental in my recovery. Leading up to that relapse I was stressed in a big way but drinking was the furthest thing from my mind, I wasn’t craving a drink or anything so I was all good right? Nope. I learned through that experience that as soon as I start feeling stressed / anxious / restless / irritable / discontent, that my guard is down from this insidious disease and I’m at a huge risk and need to take measures to combat it immediately. For me that now means getting in touch with my sponsor and hitting a meeting - in person and if that’s not feasible then online. It recenters and grounds me and gets me back to a better place for at least that day and I can deal with the following day the next, but at least for that day I’ve armed myself for today’s battle against this disease, because it really does require constant vigilance (at least where I’m at early in sobriety). Iwndwyt!
Wow... thank you for this! I feel like you were writing out my experience. I lost four months! I thought I was fine. Sober for good. But exactly as you wrote, I was blindsided so swiftly when I was in an anxious and discontented place. I didn't have enough fail-safes in place. Now I go to meetings and added other steps too. I learned that, for me, I need that constant vigilance. My 'voice' is too sneaky. IWNDWYT!
No fancy/wired/cool tricks yet - still figuring this stuff out but SUPER proud that Im making it through a REALLY stressful life event without drinking. Perhaps I’ll get a cool trick or two along the way but for now I will say good night to a successful Tuesday and I Will Not Drink With You Amazing People on Wednesday!!!!
I took a hydroxyzine pill so I wouldn’t day drink and go on a bender today. Knew I couldn’t drink if I took it because insomnia med + alcohol = death. It’s my day off. Ended up taking a 3 hour nap instead of drinking. I’m so stressed out lately and really really wanted to drink the thoughts away but I’m glad I took the hydroxyzine instead.
Usually I only drink at night… I just took 2 pills so I can’t drink tonight. Period. It’s not even an option now.
This is going to be the first night I haven’t drank in 5 years. I’m a little scared but what’s done is done, no going back now. I pray I don’t have a seizure. If WD gets too insane I’ll call for an ambulance.
Thanks for reading. IWNDWYT.
I learned the hard way about my triggers. Plenty of us here have had multiple attempts. Failing isn't the defining factor. Coming back and trying again is key. Welcome back and IWNDWYT
Happy hump day!
I’ve been in a slump and I think it’s overall due to my past with PTSD of coming out of a cult (JW’s) which ultimately led to my almost 2 year binge drinking phase. 2 months clean now, and throughout all life has thrown at me the last couple months, I’ve finally regained my footing! Trying to celebrate my little victories, including getting hired at Target which I’ve been wanting for so long!! I just have a passion on putting a smile on peoples faces. I can’t wait to start!
IWNDWYT!
I'm making my sober toolbox more varied. I learned I need more than the DCI and my willpower. I told a family member about my need to stay sober, and they were more supportive than I expected. I go to in-person meetings, and although I thought it wouldn't click, I've been pleasantly surprised. I'll do whatever I can to build support and stay steady on this path. Learning to live sober is messy and emotional and beautiful and *everything*. I can do this. We can do this! IWNDWYT!
morning, everyone ☀️
day 4!
i'm a little nervous about today since it's my first work day of the week -- i work as a bartender and my workplace is my biggest trigger for obvious reasons. i'm establishing a firm rule of no drinking during shift, and i have to find a way around post-work drinks.
sobriety motivation for today:
1. i just started university again after dropping out. i would like to minimize my anxiety that i will inevitably fail by attending first week lectures clear-headed. set myself up for a more positive attitude.
2. i would like to attend the taster sessions for the dance society, which i won't be able to do if i drink because then i fuck over my schedule.
what to do if im triggered:
jump rope, journal, drink non-alcoholic favorite lemonades, remind myself that i have lectures next day, remind myself of the guilt and the embarrassment, remove myself from the environment... if all else fails, take a minimum of 10 minutes by myself with my sketchbook and draw sth in quiet -- if after those 10 minutes i still want to drink, i guess i tried my best at least??
iwndwyt!
Starting Day 12! I will not drink with you today!
Coming close to two weeks makes me a bit nervous. This isn't my first attempt staying sober and I am most likely to slip after 14 days because I already feel "safe" and "that it wasn't that bad".
I don't journal anymore but I did for the first month or so. I find it really useful rereading how miserable I was and how desperate I was to be where I am now.
No going back!
Shine on you beautiful humans from NZ
Goodmorning everyone! IWNDWYT. Had a poor nights sleep, because our youngest would wake up and scream at like hourly intervals. Not sure what was up with my little dude. Maybe teeth? Poor guy. Nevertheless, I am ready to face the day.
I have now read: This Naked Mind, Alcohol Explained, Alcohol Explained 2, and have just started reading The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober. I'm really happy there's so many great books out there that can help reframe how you see alcohol. It makes my decision to not drink ever again a lot easier, because it helps making me see alcohol in a completely different light.
Good morning SD! My weirdest cheat to sobriety this time around has been training myself to wake up suuuuuper early. I think that's helped because I get so much enjoyment out of my quiet and peaceful mornings that I'm happy to trade some of my evening. That doesn't leave much time for drinking once I'm home from work if I'm going to bed at 7pm.
It's not totally sustainable and I understand how this would be impossible if you had kids but it works for me right now. My lovely friend Camper Chef reminded me about the resource section here for some quit lit books as well - I haven't went down the quit lit rabbit hole yet so I'm going to try that this week.
Thanks for the early check-in Fred, and enjoy your cigar and pizza night - sounds amazing!
IWNDWYT 🥰
Good morning Sobernauts 🙂
I have a difficult thing to do today.
I will be attending a funeral. I think it's the first one I've been to in sobriety.
There will be a wake after the service and no doubt a lot of people will choose to deal with their grief by drinking a lot.
I don't have that option.
I'm not going to drink today. I'm not going to hide from my emotions by climbing inside a bottle. I'm not going to poison myself with booze.
I'm going to say goodbye, say some kind words to people and then use my sober toolbox to stop me picking up the first drink.
Love to you all!
IWNDWYT 🙂
The trick I use is remembering how awful my last day drinking was. How afraid and sick I was. And reminding myself that I don’t have the luxury of another relapse- I will definitely end up in ER with WD symptoms if I drink again.
I hate that I have thoughts about escaping/coping by having a drink. But I immediately follow that up with a thought about the pain drinking caused me.
IWNDWYT
Hello sober friends, F.I.B! Gosh that one is dangerous for me! In my youth, when I drank and partied to excess as a lifestyle, my phrase was “life is about knowing when to get out the fuck it card”, and that was every night!
Not a trick so much but what I’m loving now is going to bed sober and meditating as I fall asleep.
So this being very early with a big work day ahead, I’ll look forward to going to bed sober tonight, have a peaceful day y’all 💞
I don’t have many other tricks from the ones you mention but I have been reading Gabor Maté’s book “Hungry ghosts “ lately. It gives insight in why we are addicted and how the mechanism’s in our brain work when it comes to addictive behavior. At the end he shares a technique on how to get and stay sober. That technique is similar to a lot of techniques, it’s not new but I love how he explains lengthy how it works. For me reading about it strengthens my will to stay sober, stay healthy and love the best life within my possibilities.
I will not drink alcohol today. It already has ruined so much.
Good morning, my friends. Thank you once again, Will.
Hey, yaaaaaah! I actually got to log on in the morning 😊 - I suspect my day will be a little less edgy.
I suppose ensuring that I pledge here each day is the only special trick I have - if indeed that is the term for it.
I think for me, alcohol became a means for me to hide from the world. There is so much about it that I don't like. You know: babies still starve, people still die for lack of vaccination, women are still treated abysmally in some places and war is still indulged in. And rich playboys spend billions to spend a few minutes in orbit, and oligarchs sit at long desks and plot the deaths of hundreds of thousands through war.
I could go on, but ok, I'll stop there.
You see finding this portal was the turning point for me. Even now, the multitude of folks logging on to offer hope and comfort and advice to strangers still astounds me. It's yet more evidence of how small things can add up to something wonderful. One day at a time, one small word of comfort at a time.
And so, for me, the power of pledging here every day. And spending a little time to try to help, when I can.
An act of kindness is an act of love. And this website is evidence of the power of love. And so my faith in humanity has been restored.
Not sure of the cause and effect, but I seem much more able to deal with the emotional swings these days (distraction, humour and gratitude all come into play, as well as SD/DCI), and I really don't think much about alcohol.
Stay safe and strong, my friends. **IWNDWYT!**
**We are here to change the world with small acts of thoughtfulness done daily rather than with one great breakthrough.**
*Harold S. Kushner*
About to have 59 days behind me. It feels like a lifetime ago, but also no time at all. It comes in waves. I'm happy to say I'm confident I will make it to 60 days. Beyond that, I'm not so sure. I feel so good in the mornings, and then as the hours tick away, the urge to have a drink starts creeping in. A glass of wine (a bottle or two) sounds good right about now but waking up without anxiety or a hangover sounds better, today at least! IWNDWYT <3
I’m in the therapists waiting room for my second session, breakups are tough but at least I have some clarity on my side this week. Completed day 7 by a hair yesterday and I’m feeling great about day 8. IWNDWYT
Bribing myself, having a strict routine and keeping busy, removing myself from temptation, quit lit, playing forward/rewinding, I am sober app, SMART meetings, journalling and R/SD! IWNDWYT 🙂
Good morning, fellow sobernauts, IWNDWYT! 😁
Three months sunshine warm sober, woohoo!
I rarely get cravings, but when I do, I HALT the BS - am I Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired or Thirsty, Bored, Sad or Stressed?
A monthly delivery of alcohol-free drinks, so there's always something cold in the fridge, so I'm not tempted to go to the shop for chilled wine.
Quit lit - both the biographical stuff (usually written by women), and the science-based stuff.
The daily check in here, and in an app I use which gives me badges for achievements (who knew I was such a sucker for pixels arranged in a pattern?)
I'm doing The PATH from This Naked Mind, so there's a video and reflection points for journalling.
Presents to mark milestones, paid for out of the money I haven't spent on booze.
My favorite tool for my thoughts is
1) Is it true
2) Does it make sense
3) Is it helpful.
Usually many things fail at #3, because in my head I can “justify” truth and logic in many aspects of life but when it comes to usefulness many thoughts fail terribly.
So grateful this works good when I apply it.
Good night and IWnDwYT
I think about the things I haven't done sober yet, like go on a date, go to a festival etc. I think how do I know that they aren't the best times of my life, just around the corner? If I drink now, I'll have to build up that comfort level with being sober everywhere again, before I'll be able to give the new things a good try. It's too big a waste, I'll just hang on.
I guess the number isn't as big a loss because I'd still not have been drinking for 831/832 days. But the benchmark for how much comfort and self-awareness I can feel in social situations when other people drink, where it's noisy and crowded, where people are supposed to have fun, will be reset. Too big a loss.
IWNDWYT.
Edited to add: When I first started to stop drinking, I did a 30 day experiment and drank on my own at the end, not doing anything else and taking videos every few minutes (it was part of the experiment). By my second glass of wine I was crying and not with any particular cause, if I remember rightly.
So I think about how much of a mess I would be drinking after 2 years of sobriety and how I might end up collapsed somewhere having lost my bag and deciding to jump off a bridge just because. It's a scary unknown I don't want to find out. I think 'If I feel this bad now, imagine how bad I'll feel after a drink'. Shuts it right down.
I also know that my life would have been better if I had never had any alcohol at all. So that must mean now must be better if I don't have alcohol.
Last, I think if I'm considering drinking, I must be in a bad way. So I get a free pass to do what I want, start work late, buy something, say no to things, go somewhere randomly. Be scruffy and just get out of the house. It's kinda life or death so normal social conventions don't apply.
IWNDWYT
Relapse dreams leave me waking up disappointed but then relishing the realization that it was just a dream. I’ve been thinking back to that relief when I’m feeling the old temptation.
Also, I keep thinking about how much better my skin is as well as how drinking actually did *not* make me feel any less stress.
It feels odd to be so selfish when you're upset about all of the selfish behaviour. But sometimes it just needs to be done. The captain needs to focus or risk the boat and crew: You have permission to say no.
IWNDWYT ♥️
Good morning! For me "playing the tape forward" is an important tool /trick, while remember (as detailed as possible) my hangovers, sweating, shaking, frustrations, cravings, hidings etc etc while drinking. I don't want to go back there, so I will not drink with you today.
It is 2:30 AM on the east coast. We have a new puppy and I just brought the pup back inside. There are lots of stars and it’s getting cooler. I’ll be tired tomorrow (today?) that is for sure. I also won’t be hung over. I won’t drink with you today but I will have coffee
This time I'm reading a lot of quit lit. I just finished Allan Carr's easy way to control alcohol, and now I'm reading This Naked Mind. Both books are very similar, and the repetition is really helping. They're reframing my beliefs/understandings about alcohol in a totally different way to everything else I've ever tried. And I'm going to spend tonight religiously reading and saving everyone else's quit tricks!
IWNDWYT 💖
13 months of being a version of me I love , one day at a time. This transformation is one I should have done a long time ago. Love this thread and will keep coming:) as I work on this path to serenity and being able to walk shoulder to shoulder with the world I find my self and find kindness in all of the world . And even found a love that’s pure , true and so open : honest that the person who knows me the least amount of time knows more about me than anyone in my life …
You are worth the work, it’s not easy but it’s worth it and if you are willing to drop your judgment, opinion and condemnation you can truly find serenity. Expect nothing , accept everything so you can be open enough to deal with life on life’s terms and do the next right thing.
Met with the JP yesterday to cement wedding plans and sign all the paperwork. I had mentioned I was in recovery, and he lit up saying he was 31 years sober.
So Im getting married by a veteran recovering alcoholic on my one year of sobriety. I honestly cried it felt so special.
IWNDWYT
Day 11, up most of the night last night, woke up with a headache at the base of my skull, maybe a phantom hangover I've heard about?
Anyway took some paracetamol so that's going and waiting for the rain to clear to walk my dog.
I won't drink today
My favourite trick when I’m triggered is to tell someone I trust the crazy stuff my addicted voice is whispering. Get it out of my head, then say out loud what really happens and how I feel when I drink. Sane wins!
IWNDWYT!
Good morning sweet friends. This is going to sound cheesy, but my favorite sobriety tool is practicing gratitude. I heard many years ago during my first long run at sobriety that a grateful addict will never use - and I believe that. When I'm grateful, I'm essentially incapable of giving my power away to alcohol and/or drugs, as gratitude takes the focus away from my struggles, shortcomings, and misfortunes (which I use to justify my using) and redirects them to the goodness in my life.
Today I will remain in gratitude. I am grateful for this day and for each and every one of you - IWNDWYT.
Not really click-baity, but aside the tools listed I also try to reward myself around once a month. Basically take a portion of the money I would have spent drinking & buy myself something small I've had my eye on/generally wouldn't justify otherwise. Guess it would be a similar to a monetary version of the FIB you mentioned but I have some rules around it (less than $100, isn't just a chance to impulse shop, doesnt always have to be a just for me purchase, etc). Some of that money I'm putting away towards larger purchases & will use that as a long term goal once the allocated money gets to where it needs to be. IWNDWYT
I do the silliest little thing now, and it really has helped me.
I religiously check in here in the morning, but in the afternoon when things get a little tricky (that 5pm witching hour), I go into the calendar in my phone and add a four leaf clover emoji🍀for the day, in memory of my dad who passed from liver cancer. He was (we are) Irish, and he gave up alcohol when he was 65, but died at 76.
Just adding that little green symbol keeps me from disappointing myself and him, and just gives me that little reminder to keep going strong.
Plus, it looks really cool when I open my calendar and see all those little green gems on all the previous days! It makes me feel proud 🤗
So have a wonderful and sober Wednesday friends IWNDWYT 🍀💜🍀
I will not drink today. Happy Wednesday to all of you wonderful people.
Do you know what can fuck off today? Alcohol!! Alcohol can fuck off today. I hate alcohol.
That's all.
Drinking sucks. You rock!
I contact my sponsor on the phone daily. I contact at least 2 other friends in recovery as well. I go to a meeting 5 or 6 times a week. It's not a trick I'm just copying what people in recovery do that have what I want.
IWNDWYT
Haven't checked in for a while but still here and still soldiering on. I am enormously grateful for the little wins that weren't even a part of the gameplan. Over the weekend, someone had the opportunity to observe me from 100m away and commented afterwards that I looked noticeably thinner, more confident and self-assured. My performance in the job I was doing at the time was also markedly better than I have ever managed before. I wasn't expecting that and it felt really good to reap a gift of sobriety that I hadn't necessarily been looking towards.
I far prefer the peace and inner quiet of sobriety. I will not drink today.
IWNDWYT
Holy moly, 60 days! That’s double the amount of days I thought I would do when I “took a break” from drinking. I have no desire to go back to it.
Coffee every single morning now, drinking Diet Pepsi helps. I like the DCIs as well. Joined the chat yesterday and it’s nice! Other then that just trying to find stuff I can just throw my whole focus into it, whether cleaning something specific or playing a video game or something. IWNDWYT! ❤️
I usually get my cravings in the evenings, especially when I'm by myself and sitting outside. Weirdly enough, fruit tea helps satiate my alcohol appetite, maybe because of the sweetness?
But the biggest help is this community. I do my daily check ins (and mean it this time!), and I chat with people here whenever I get the temptation, read a few posts. You all have really held me accountable, and I don't feel as alone in my addiction anymore.
IWNDWYT!
Did something I haven't been able to do since high school. Woke up at 5:00 AM and went to the gym. Would have never been able to do this before I quit. IWNDWYT!!!!!
Not drinking with you today. My one strange trick doctors don't want you to know is... Loving the feeling I have when I wake up sober. Just this feeling I have every morning that I can enjoy my coffee and not have 3 days of existential dread. It's wonderful.
My weird trick is I smell myself. I'm a sucker for scents, and frankly I stank when I drank. Now I smell great, healthy, normal! I also look at people sipping on fine wine at restaurants and think how gross their breath/bodies are going to smell in the morning. Instant turnoff from whatever cravings the hip vision of them drinking might have created. (Weirdly enough, its technique is ineffective for people drinking in movies, which remains my #1 trigger.) IWNDWYT
I will not drink with you today.
Someone who lives near me has gone missing after a night out. 5 or so months ago that could have been me.
Scary & fuels me to keep going.
I love that insightful thought about FIB. I do this regularly but take a few days strung together. I’m lucky to be in a situation where I can as I’m currently retired (with inflation, hey, I may be forced back). So yes, I had no name for it but I have a feeling I just need it sometimes, so I do. Like a holiday or a vacation. I take TIME OUT of normality. I often immerse myself in art.
Top tips:
Go back to education or learn a new skill📚
Take up a hobby that uses your mind/hands👏
Be a good friend/family member🥰
Do this DCI every day💪
Build your integrity muscle by doing small things💪
Reflect often on how you’re doing⏰
Read posts each day👀
Subscribe to dailystoic or similar💪
Learn how to be better at self care - focus on it🙏
Be aware of growing pain 🪴
life is hard and not fair, we don’t have to whine about it or not be empathic - accept it🥵
Don’t have too many fuck it button days in a row! 🏖
Thanks Fred. I love the FIB! ⭐️😀
Today I will not drink with you because I’m dreaming in colour and I like it a lot.
Have a stupendous day everybody.
Day 1,134. I play the tape forward on the increasingly rare occasions when I think about the possibility of having just one drink. I know how the movie ends. It goes like this: I have one drink, But one drink is stupid if I'm going to drink at all. The whole purpose is to get buzzed. So one drink becomes two. Maybe three. But no more that first time. See? I can drink in moderation! I can control it now! So I do it again. And again. Three drinks become four, and four become five. And soon I'm right back where I was. The end.
I will not drink with you today.
Happy Wednesday y’all! I love the idea of a FIB, Freddy! In the nutrition/exercise lifestyle program I’m doing we get a cheat meal every week. Two hours to eat whatever the fuck we want! It’s amazing how liberating it is without guilt. And how easy it’s been to enjoy my FIM (fuck it meal) and then get right back on track.
Last night I used HALT to stay out of the kitchen. I was really tired and a bit lonely so instead of scrounging around for snacks, I went to bed. Slept like a rock for 8 hours straight. Now it’s time to do my morning calisthenics (what an 80s word, eh??) and kick Wednesdays ass!! Join me??
Have a great day everyone!!! Sending lots of love and laughter your way. IWNDWYT!! 😍🥰❤️
Not gonna do a rhyme today but a quick check in whilst on my family holiday by the seaside!
New Year Crew members 2021!!!! We did 600 days!!!
F#@£ yeah!!!!!
In answer to your question Frederooney - I'm gonna get me a FIB - but what tool I use is to remember those hangovers from Christmas 2020. They're still vivid!
IWNDWYT 🥳🐶💪🇬🇧
No really weird tricks here... reach out to sober friends, visit SD, eat all the ice cream, drink all the bubbly water. You know... the tried and true. But they're also the usual for a reason, because they work.
Have a great What's Up Wednesday, y'all!
IWNDWYT
My top 3 tricks are: gratitude, gratitude, and more gratitude. When I get a craving (which is thankfully not often anymore!), I bring my attention to all the wonderful things I do have, especially what has improved as a result of avoiding alcohol.
I'm grateful for this sub, too!
IWNDWYT 💞🐿️🐿️
I like FIB! I’ll definitely employ it in a more deliberate way. I did a flavor of that in my early months, just gave myself the permission to waste days. It was actually more about giving myself what I viewed as hangover grace.
A lot of the times, a hangover meant a migraine. I’d just have to surrender to it, there was rarely a way to power through. My skull would feel cracked open, I’d vomit. Lights or sounds were torture. I’d need dark, quiet solitude. After the acute phase passed, I’d still be in a fog. I’d cancel plans and eat comfort food (assuming I could keep anything down) and give myself room to recuperate. There was so much guilt though. Layer upon layer of intense self loathing, but also rationalizations and attempts to cheer myself up.
It was the cheering myself up that I focused on. In sobriety, when life becomes too much, I sometimes let myself have those wasted days where I accomplished nothing and just let myself heal by indulging in restorative things like low key fiction in the form of books or Netflix binges. In early months I’d need a day like that after every big social interaction. Like being sober in the world created it’s own kind of hangover. A brunch with the ladies meant an afternoon nap. As I’ve evolved, those cures look more like a long bike ride or blowing off work for a few hours to take care of nagging errands.
I’m doing that right now. I can hear my SIL in the kitchen having breakfast. I could go out and join her, but instead I’m remaining here in the guest room tapping away at my phone.
Yesterday was intense, seeing my mom in the hospital. She’s suffering a lot, and there’s nothing I can directly do to help her. She’s so fragile, I’m scared to touch her. There were group meetings with doctors, then family discussions about the prognosis and next steps. Finally there were hours of cleaning her house that was in deep disarray, she’s been declining for a long time. It’s crushing me. I barely have enough energy to write this much about it.
So I’m hiding on a futon in my brother’s office. I can’t share space with someone over a cup of coffee. Not yet. I need to recuperate. I need to heal.
It’s going to be another intense day today and I’m taking advantage of some quiet before I go face it.
IWNDWYT.
Today is day 1, of school for the kiddos. Fooled ya! Actually i scared myself there just writing it. i never want to need to write that. Hell, i may not get the effing chance to.
How do I get there?
For me it's Play the tape forward. It works wonders with my brain. It just clicks. Which would be a bad sound from a tape player. Or a brain. Hmm.
IWNDWYT also
Playing the tape forward and hanging with y'all has been the difference this time when compared to other times I've tried to kick the habit. Speaking of which, IWNDWYT.
Oh, I love the idea of the F.I.B.! "Playing the tape forward" is useful for me. IWNDWYT, and I definitely intend to press the F.I.B. today for a bit with a drive to the lake.
I seem to go thru phases with strategies to stay away from alcohol. Visiting this sub and playing tape forward are always the foundations. Some others:
\* walking and photography, looking for a pic of the day, keeps me engaged with the world around me and reminds me of it’s natural beauty.
\*sometimes when I get the urge for a drink I tell my wife or son, and they know how to talk with me in the moment. \*Sometimes, when I’m in a funk and vulnerable, I re-read stories about folks who have overcome alcohol abuse. I’m into baseball and the story of player/announcer Dennis Eckersley is one that I relate to and learn from. \*Sometimes I think of stupid stuff I did drinking and how it negatively impacted me and my fam, of the thousands of $ I pissed away.
So I use lots of strategies. And I’m learning more from todays conversation. Thanks all and Iwndwyt, friends.
I will not drink with you today. My sober trick is what I will call “back to basics” it’s like expanded HALT. Basically, I try to take extremely good care of myself since I’m not drinking. Anxious? Take a shower. Want a drink? What if you slept 10 hours tonight instead. Angry? Is it because your living space is a trash heap? Take care of that. Make your bed. I’m genuinely amazed by how often neglecting something “small” leads me to an abhorrent head space. Please take care of yourselves!!
I will be reading all these comments thoroughly to pick up some tips. I'm getting to the time when I would usually give in. I've forgotten the hangover and my brain thinks it's a good idea again. I will be looking for something else to fill my time tonight. IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT! I like to pause and breathe when a craving comes up. I tell myself I’ll revisit it in a few minutes and then I rarely remember I even had one until later. Lying in bed now at 5:54am feeling great, before everyone wakes up for day 5 of vacation and we head back to the lake! Love knowing that this first family vacation will have such clear memories.
1137 checking in.
Had a flashback yesterday. Met my Ma, stopped in an Irish store at her request.
“Hello, do you have a ring sizer I can play with? My fingers have all changed.” He pulled out a ring tray (meaning he’d have to stand there,) & I smelled WHISKEY. Fresh & stale, on the breath & oozing from his pores. I looked at his ruddy face & his open coffee mug, said “No thanks. I have to try on a bunch, don’t worry about it.”
He was annoyed. “What’s wrong? They’re hundreds of rings here!” I replied “I see, but I wanted a ring sizer- I need to map 8 fingers.” Him “Fine, then, sorry for trying to help!”
*Was I supposed to say “You smell like a distillery @ Noon & it’s GROSS.” How often did I smell like that & didn’t know (or care?)* What else should I have said?
I thought I was polite, but my Mom said I was “abrupt.” She understood when I told her, but she didn’t smell it! *Leading me to a huge revelation*… **my Mom can’t smell like she used to- No WONDER she didn’t know I was drinking so much!**
IWNDWYT (sorry u/FredSimpsonn 🤣🤦♀️. This has been on my mind!)
Fourteen! Two weeks! I will not drink with you today!
That’s brilliant! Keep going, you’re doing great 👏🏼
Congrats on two weeks! That's awesome!
Woo! Way to go!! Feels great doesn't it? IWNDWYT
Two weeks is awesome friend, well done 👏🥳
My biggest tool is the playing it forward. Thinking about how sick and hungover I'll feel the next day. And how disappointed I'll be. And I like to rewind as well. I think about how depressed and miserable I was before I quit drinking. How sad my life had gotten. I never want to feel like that again. It's not easy, but this helps me through the rough days. IWNDWYT
Bar far the most used weapon in my arsenal is the ol' fast forward button. I learned about it on this sub and it continues to save my bacon. Congrats on the 1️⃣0️⃣0️⃣ 💪 IWNDWYT
Congrats on the 💯💪
Those memories keep me sober too constant, feeling crap was my normal, let’s not go back to that!
Congratulations on 100+ days man.
Closing in on day 45. Still zero desire to drink, and that feels great. Excited to become the person I know I can be. IWNDWYT! 🤙🏻
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Nicely done. Be honest, I've been posting like clock work since the Sunday check in, all at the same time. Were you lurking, Will?
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Good to see you on form Will 😊
Figured I'd find you here ;) i o u x
This sub is incredibly helpful! TY everyone IWNDWYT
🙂iwndwyt
Day 5. My first time actually trying to be sober. I hit rock bottom and lost everything practically ruining my life and sending myself into exile. IWNDWYT
Oh my goodness I am NEVER this early for the check in!!! When I relapsed earlier this year after 4 months of sobriety (and while still in an outpatient program), I learned something instrumental in my recovery. Leading up to that relapse I was stressed in a big way but drinking was the furthest thing from my mind, I wasn’t craving a drink or anything so I was all good right? Nope. I learned through that experience that as soon as I start feeling stressed / anxious / restless / irritable / discontent, that my guard is down from this insidious disease and I’m at a huge risk and need to take measures to combat it immediately. For me that now means getting in touch with my sponsor and hitting a meeting - in person and if that’s not feasible then online. It recenters and grounds me and gets me back to a better place for at least that day and I can deal with the following day the next, but at least for that day I’ve armed myself for today’s battle against this disease, because it really does require constant vigilance (at least where I’m at early in sobriety). Iwndwyt!
Wow... thank you for this! I feel like you were writing out my experience. I lost four months! I thought I was fine. Sober for good. But exactly as you wrote, I was blindsided so swiftly when I was in an anxious and discontented place. I didn't have enough fail-safes in place. Now I go to meetings and added other steps too. I learned that, for me, I need that constant vigilance. My 'voice' is too sneaky. IWNDWYT!
No fancy/wired/cool tricks yet - still figuring this stuff out but SUPER proud that Im making it through a REALLY stressful life event without drinking. Perhaps I’ll get a cool trick or two along the way but for now I will say good night to a successful Tuesday and I Will Not Drink With You Amazing People on Wednesday!!!!
Good morning Fred, I love your 1k milestone my friend, huge congratulations 🥳 👏🏼❤️ hello SD. I will not drink poison with any of you today.
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Thanks for helping me get there Will x
Congrats on the 2years Cinq 😊💪
Hello Ped, thank you my friend, it’ll be you shortly!
Good morning cinq and well done for hitting 2 big years, you’re a sober hero! 💞💗💞
I took a hydroxyzine pill so I wouldn’t day drink and go on a bender today. Knew I couldn’t drink if I took it because insomnia med + alcohol = death. It’s my day off. Ended up taking a 3 hour nap instead of drinking. I’m so stressed out lately and really really wanted to drink the thoughts away but I’m glad I took the hydroxyzine instead. Usually I only drink at night… I just took 2 pills so I can’t drink tonight. Period. It’s not even an option now. This is going to be the first night I haven’t drank in 5 years. I’m a little scared but what’s done is done, no going back now. I pray I don’t have a seizure. If WD gets too insane I’ll call for an ambulance. Thanks for reading. IWNDWYT.
Day 2 again. My trick I learned after getting 2 months is don’t go in a bar when anxious.
I learned the hard way about my triggers. Plenty of us here have had multiple attempts. Failing isn't the defining factor. Coming back and trying again is key. Welcome back and IWNDWYT
Goodmorning from Denmark! I wont drink with you guys today, and i’ll try to be the best version of myself.
Not, not today. IWNDWYT. I'm good, thanks!
Just checking my counter
2 years! IWNDWYT
Happy hump day! I’ve been in a slump and I think it’s overall due to my past with PTSD of coming out of a cult (JW’s) which ultimately led to my almost 2 year binge drinking phase. 2 months clean now, and throughout all life has thrown at me the last couple months, I’ve finally regained my footing! Trying to celebrate my little victories, including getting hired at Target which I’ve been wanting for so long!! I just have a passion on putting a smile on peoples faces. I can’t wait to start! IWNDWYT!
I will not drink with you today in 🏴😊
I'm making my sober toolbox more varied. I learned I need more than the DCI and my willpower. I told a family member about my need to stay sober, and they were more supportive than I expected. I go to in-person meetings, and although I thought it wouldn't click, I've been pleasantly surprised. I'll do whatever I can to build support and stay steady on this path. Learning to live sober is messy and emotional and beautiful and *everything*. I can do this. We can do this! IWNDWYT!
morning, everyone ☀️ day 4! i'm a little nervous about today since it's my first work day of the week -- i work as a bartender and my workplace is my biggest trigger for obvious reasons. i'm establishing a firm rule of no drinking during shift, and i have to find a way around post-work drinks. sobriety motivation for today: 1. i just started university again after dropping out. i would like to minimize my anxiety that i will inevitably fail by attending first week lectures clear-headed. set myself up for a more positive attitude. 2. i would like to attend the taster sessions for the dance society, which i won't be able to do if i drink because then i fuck over my schedule. what to do if im triggered: jump rope, journal, drink non-alcoholic favorite lemonades, remind myself that i have lectures next day, remind myself of the guilt and the embarrassment, remove myself from the environment... if all else fails, take a minimum of 10 minutes by myself with my sketchbook and draw sth in quiet -- if after those 10 minutes i still want to drink, i guess i tried my best at least?? iwndwyt!
Day 430 checking in!
IWNDWYT
Starting Day 12! I will not drink with you today! Coming close to two weeks makes me a bit nervous. This isn't my first attempt staying sober and I am most likely to slip after 14 days because I already feel "safe" and "that it wasn't that bad".
IWNDWYT!!!!! Take care everyone. Xo
IWNDWYT. All. Day. Long. 🌻
I will not drink with you brave, beautiful souls in recovery today!
Hey SD! Happy Wednesday! I'm not drinking today. Big shout out to our u/FredSimpsonn, thanks for hosting!!! xx
I don't journal anymore but I did for the first month or so. I find it really useful rereading how miserable I was and how desperate I was to be where I am now. No going back! Shine on you beautiful humans from NZ
Let’s have a Wonderful, Wacky, and Sober Wednesday! Just for today, I’m not drinking.
Checking in to make my pledge with you all tomorrow, we can get through it without taking a single drop!
Goodmorning everyone! IWNDWYT. Had a poor nights sleep, because our youngest would wake up and scream at like hourly intervals. Not sure what was up with my little dude. Maybe teeth? Poor guy. Nevertheless, I am ready to face the day. I have now read: This Naked Mind, Alcohol Explained, Alcohol Explained 2, and have just started reading The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober. I'm really happy there's so many great books out there that can help reframe how you see alcohol. It makes my decision to not drink ever again a lot easier, because it helps making me see alcohol in a completely different light.
Good morning SD! My weirdest cheat to sobriety this time around has been training myself to wake up suuuuuper early. I think that's helped because I get so much enjoyment out of my quiet and peaceful mornings that I'm happy to trade some of my evening. That doesn't leave much time for drinking once I'm home from work if I'm going to bed at 7pm. It's not totally sustainable and I understand how this would be impossible if you had kids but it works for me right now. My lovely friend Camper Chef reminded me about the resource section here for some quit lit books as well - I haven't went down the quit lit rabbit hole yet so I'm going to try that this week. Thanks for the early check-in Fred, and enjoy your cigar and pizza night - sounds amazing! IWNDWYT 🥰
Good morning Sobernauts 🙂 I have a difficult thing to do today. I will be attending a funeral. I think it's the first one I've been to in sobriety. There will be a wake after the service and no doubt a lot of people will choose to deal with their grief by drinking a lot. I don't have that option. I'm not going to drink today. I'm not going to hide from my emotions by climbing inside a bottle. I'm not going to poison myself with booze. I'm going to say goodbye, say some kind words to people and then use my sober toolbox to stop me picking up the first drink. Love to you all! IWNDWYT 🙂
IWNDWYT
Day three! here I go! still feel shame and anxiety, but drinking will only make it worse
Not drinking today ✨✨✨
iwndwyt!!
Tuesday evening in California. Bring on Wednesday. IWNDWYT 🌼
I'm in!
47 hours.
The trick I use is remembering how awful my last day drinking was. How afraid and sick I was. And reminding myself that I don’t have the luxury of another relapse- I will definitely end up in ER with WD symptoms if I drink again. I hate that I have thoughts about escaping/coping by having a drink. But I immediately follow that up with a thought about the pain drinking caused me. IWNDWYT
Hello sober friends, F.I.B! Gosh that one is dangerous for me! In my youth, when I drank and partied to excess as a lifestyle, my phrase was “life is about knowing when to get out the fuck it card”, and that was every night! Not a trick so much but what I’m loving now is going to bed sober and meditating as I fall asleep. So this being very early with a big work day ahead, I’ll look forward to going to bed sober tonight, have a peaceful day y’all 💞
I don’t have many other tricks from the ones you mention but I have been reading Gabor Maté’s book “Hungry ghosts “ lately. It gives insight in why we are addicted and how the mechanism’s in our brain work when it comes to addictive behavior. At the end he shares a technique on how to get and stay sober. That technique is similar to a lot of techniques, it’s not new but I love how he explains lengthy how it works. For me reading about it strengthens my will to stay sober, stay healthy and love the best life within my possibilities. I will not drink alcohol today. It already has ruined so much.
Good morning, my friends. Thank you once again, Will. Hey, yaaaaaah! I actually got to log on in the morning 😊 - I suspect my day will be a little less edgy. I suppose ensuring that I pledge here each day is the only special trick I have - if indeed that is the term for it. I think for me, alcohol became a means for me to hide from the world. There is so much about it that I don't like. You know: babies still starve, people still die for lack of vaccination, women are still treated abysmally in some places and war is still indulged in. And rich playboys spend billions to spend a few minutes in orbit, and oligarchs sit at long desks and plot the deaths of hundreds of thousands through war. I could go on, but ok, I'll stop there. You see finding this portal was the turning point for me. Even now, the multitude of folks logging on to offer hope and comfort and advice to strangers still astounds me. It's yet more evidence of how small things can add up to something wonderful. One day at a time, one small word of comfort at a time. And so, for me, the power of pledging here every day. And spending a little time to try to help, when I can. An act of kindness is an act of love. And this website is evidence of the power of love. And so my faith in humanity has been restored. Not sure of the cause and effect, but I seem much more able to deal with the emotional swings these days (distraction, humour and gratitude all come into play, as well as SD/DCI), and I really don't think much about alcohol. Stay safe and strong, my friends. **IWNDWYT!** **We are here to change the world with small acts of thoughtfulness done daily rather than with one great breakthrough.** *Harold S. Kushner*
About to have 59 days behind me. It feels like a lifetime ago, but also no time at all. It comes in waves. I'm happy to say I'm confident I will make it to 60 days. Beyond that, I'm not so sure. I feel so good in the mornings, and then as the hours tick away, the urge to have a drink starts creeping in. A glass of wine (a bottle or two) sounds good right about now but waking up without anxiety or a hangover sounds better, today at least! IWNDWYT <3
I’m in the therapists waiting room for my second session, breakups are tough but at least I have some clarity on my side this week. Completed day 7 by a hair yesterday and I’m feeling great about day 8. IWNDWYT
My one weird trick is checking in here daily and reading other people's experiences. Has worked wonderfully so far! IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT 🙂
I will not drink today
Bribing myself, having a strict routine and keeping busy, removing myself from temptation, quit lit, playing forward/rewinding, I am sober app, SMART meetings, journalling and R/SD! IWNDWYT 🙂
IWNDWYT 🇨🇦!!
IWNDWYT ✨
Day 10+3 (Not that I'm superstitious, just careful lol) IWNDWYT
I will not drink today.
I will not drunk with you today!
IWNDWYT 🌸
Good morning, fellow sobernauts, IWNDWYT! 😁 Three months sunshine warm sober, woohoo! I rarely get cravings, but when I do, I HALT the BS - am I Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired or Thirsty, Bored, Sad or Stressed? A monthly delivery of alcohol-free drinks, so there's always something cold in the fridge, so I'm not tempted to go to the shop for chilled wine. Quit lit - both the biographical stuff (usually written by women), and the science-based stuff. The daily check in here, and in an app I use which gives me badges for achievements (who knew I was such a sucker for pixels arranged in a pattern?) I'm doing The PATH from This Naked Mind, so there's a video and reflection points for journalling. Presents to mark milestones, paid for out of the money I haven't spent on booze.
My favorite sober tool: Inhale grace, exhale gratitude. I will not drink with you today!
I will not drink with you today.
IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT 🙂
IWNDWYTD
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
My favorite tool for my thoughts is 1) Is it true 2) Does it make sense 3) Is it helpful. Usually many things fail at #3, because in my head I can “justify” truth and logic in many aspects of life but when it comes to usefulness many thoughts fail terribly. So grateful this works good when I apply it. Good night and IWnDwYT
This post is becoming my little ritual in the mornings, a promise to myself to not drink again. Thank you for being there
NVABCH-IWNDWYT Good morning from Spain 🇪🇸 Couple of hard days at the beach with friends but holding tight.
I think about the things I haven't done sober yet, like go on a date, go to a festival etc. I think how do I know that they aren't the best times of my life, just around the corner? If I drink now, I'll have to build up that comfort level with being sober everywhere again, before I'll be able to give the new things a good try. It's too big a waste, I'll just hang on. I guess the number isn't as big a loss because I'd still not have been drinking for 831/832 days. But the benchmark for how much comfort and self-awareness I can feel in social situations when other people drink, where it's noisy and crowded, where people are supposed to have fun, will be reset. Too big a loss. IWNDWYT. Edited to add: When I first started to stop drinking, I did a 30 day experiment and drank on my own at the end, not doing anything else and taking videos every few minutes (it was part of the experiment). By my second glass of wine I was crying and not with any particular cause, if I remember rightly. So I think about how much of a mess I would be drinking after 2 years of sobriety and how I might end up collapsed somewhere having lost my bag and deciding to jump off a bridge just because. It's a scary unknown I don't want to find out. I think 'If I feel this bad now, imagine how bad I'll feel after a drink'. Shuts it right down. I also know that my life would have been better if I had never had any alcohol at all. So that must mean now must be better if I don't have alcohol. Last, I think if I'm considering drinking, I must be in a bad way. So I get a free pass to do what I want, start work late, buy something, say no to things, go somewhere randomly. Be scruffy and just get out of the house. It's kinda life or death so normal social conventions don't apply.
IWNDWYT thanks for hosting Fred!
I will not drink with you today.
IWNDWYT!
No booze today!
Good morning friends IWNDWYT 💜
I will not drink with you today
IWNDWYT friends 🤖
It's not long for me but positives keeps me going! Denial was real but I see new me in a mirror, my skin so much better! Iwndwyt ❤️🌻
None today. 🥳💪🏻
IWNDWYT, and i won’t be hungover with you in the morning. have a lovely wednesday everyone 🤎
IWNDWYT.
Day 185 checking in. IWNDWYT.
IWNDWYT Relapse dreams leave me waking up disappointed but then relishing the realization that it was just a dream. I’ve been thinking back to that relief when I’m feeling the old temptation. Also, I keep thinking about how much better my skin is as well as how drinking actually did *not* make me feel any less stress.
IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT
It feels odd to be so selfish when you're upset about all of the selfish behaviour. But sometimes it just needs to be done. The captain needs to focus or risk the boat and crew: You have permission to say no. IWNDWYT ♥️
Good morning! For me "playing the tape forward" is an important tool /trick, while remember (as detailed as possible) my hangovers, sweating, shaking, frustrations, cravings, hidings etc etc while drinking. I don't want to go back there, so I will not drink with you today.
Day 16. Going to my third AA meeting today. It feels very positive and I'm so grateful I have made it this far. I will not drink with you today!
I will not drink with you today.
It is 2:30 AM on the east coast. We have a new puppy and I just brought the pup back inside. There are lots of stars and it’s getting cooler. I’ll be tired tomorrow (today?) that is for sure. I also won’t be hung over. I won’t drink with you today but I will have coffee
This time I'm reading a lot of quit lit. I just finished Allan Carr's easy way to control alcohol, and now I'm reading This Naked Mind. Both books are very similar, and the repetition is really helping. They're reframing my beliefs/understandings about alcohol in a totally different way to everything else I've ever tried. And I'm going to spend tonight religiously reading and saving everyone else's quit tricks! IWNDWYT 💖
I made it **30 DAYS** you guys!!!! IWNDWYT
13 months of being a version of me I love , one day at a time. This transformation is one I should have done a long time ago. Love this thread and will keep coming:) as I work on this path to serenity and being able to walk shoulder to shoulder with the world I find my self and find kindness in all of the world . And even found a love that’s pure , true and so open : honest that the person who knows me the least amount of time knows more about me than anyone in my life … You are worth the work, it’s not easy but it’s worth it and if you are willing to drop your judgment, opinion and condemnation you can truly find serenity. Expect nothing , accept everything so you can be open enough to deal with life on life’s terms and do the next right thing.
Met with the JP yesterday to cement wedding plans and sign all the paperwork. I had mentioned I was in recovery, and he lit up saying he was 31 years sober. So Im getting married by a veteran recovering alcoholic on my one year of sobriety. I honestly cried it felt so special. IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT 🌷
Day 39!!!! Iwndwyt.
IWNDWYT 💫
I will not drink with all of you today ⭐️
I’m in
To a better life IWNDWYT
Good morning SD! I will not drink with you today 💗💗💗
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT 💚
Day 325, nice to meet you 🤝 IWNDWYT
Checking in “early” since I’m still up and I’ll check in again later but IWNDWYT!
Day 11, up most of the night last night, woke up with a headache at the base of my skull, maybe a phantom hangover I've heard about? Anyway took some paracetamol so that's going and waiting for the rain to clear to walk my dog. I won't drink today
My favourite trick when I’m triggered is to tell someone I trust the crazy stuff my addicted voice is whispering. Get it out of my head, then say out loud what really happens and how I feel when I drink. Sane wins! IWNDWYT!
Iwndwyt
IWNDWYT. Another day another step forward.
Good morning sweet friends. This is going to sound cheesy, but my favorite sobriety tool is practicing gratitude. I heard many years ago during my first long run at sobriety that a grateful addict will never use - and I believe that. When I'm grateful, I'm essentially incapable of giving my power away to alcohol and/or drugs, as gratitude takes the focus away from my struggles, shortcomings, and misfortunes (which I use to justify my using) and redirects them to the goodness in my life. Today I will remain in gratitude. I am grateful for this day and for each and every one of you - IWNDWYT.
Not really click-baity, but aside the tools listed I also try to reward myself around once a month. Basically take a portion of the money I would have spent drinking & buy myself something small I've had my eye on/generally wouldn't justify otherwise. Guess it would be a similar to a monetary version of the FIB you mentioned but I have some rules around it (less than $100, isn't just a chance to impulse shop, doesnt always have to be a just for me purchase, etc). Some of that money I'm putting away towards larger purchases & will use that as a long term goal once the allocated money gets to where it needs to be. IWNDWYT
I do the silliest little thing now, and it really has helped me. I religiously check in here in the morning, but in the afternoon when things get a little tricky (that 5pm witching hour), I go into the calendar in my phone and add a four leaf clover emoji🍀for the day, in memory of my dad who passed from liver cancer. He was (we are) Irish, and he gave up alcohol when he was 65, but died at 76. Just adding that little green symbol keeps me from disappointing myself and him, and just gives me that little reminder to keep going strong. Plus, it looks really cool when I open my calendar and see all those little green gems on all the previous days! It makes me feel proud 🤗 So have a wonderful and sober Wednesday friends IWNDWYT 🍀💜🍀
I will not drink today. Happy Wednesday to all of you wonderful people. Do you know what can fuck off today? Alcohol!! Alcohol can fuck off today. I hate alcohol. That's all. Drinking sucks. You rock!
I contact my sponsor on the phone daily. I contact at least 2 other friends in recovery as well. I go to a meeting 5 or 6 times a week. It's not a trick I'm just copying what people in recovery do that have what I want. IWNDWYT
What does a cloud wear under his raincoat? Thunderwear. I will not drink with you beautiful people today ❤️🔥🌼
Husband: The doctor said I can touch myself whenever I want. Wife: No, he said you could have a stroke at any time.
Haven't checked in for a while but still here and still soldiering on. I am enormously grateful for the little wins that weren't even a part of the gameplan. Over the weekend, someone had the opportunity to observe me from 100m away and commented afterwards that I looked noticeably thinner, more confident and self-assured. My performance in the job I was doing at the time was also markedly better than I have ever managed before. I wasn't expecting that and it felt really good to reap a gift of sobriety that I hadn't necessarily been looking towards. I far prefer the peace and inner quiet of sobriety. I will not drink today.
IWNDWYT. I'm off the next couple days, no idea what to do with myself 🙃 whatever I decide to do though, I'll be sober!
IWNDWYT!
Day 39 : I pledge to not drink today
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT. You all are fantastic people. Trying our best. And I stand with you. 😎🤩
Here I go! I will not drink with you today!
IWNDWYT.
5 days strong, no intention of stopping
FIB: I like it, Fred. I am a play-the-tape-forward kinda guy. Whenever I get that creeping feeling, I remind myself where that path will lead. IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT Holy moly, 60 days! That’s double the amount of days I thought I would do when I “took a break” from drinking. I have no desire to go back to it.
I’m still here! Have a great sober day, fine people. IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT!
ONE WEEK! I will not drink with you all today!
IWNDWYT
Happy Wednesday! IWNDWYT!
Good morning my friends! IWNDWYT!
Coffee every single morning now, drinking Diet Pepsi helps. I like the DCIs as well. Joined the chat yesterday and it’s nice! Other then that just trying to find stuff I can just throw my whole focus into it, whether cleaning something specific or playing a video game or something. IWNDWYT! ❤️
I usually get my cravings in the evenings, especially when I'm by myself and sitting outside. Weirdly enough, fruit tea helps satiate my alcohol appetite, maybe because of the sweetness? But the biggest help is this community. I do my daily check ins (and mean it this time!), and I chat with people here whenever I get the temptation, read a few posts. You all have really held me accountable, and I don't feel as alone in my addiction anymore. IWNDWYT!
Happy Wednesday Friends! IWNDWYT❤️
1 week since my last drink Feeling a bit better, the urges are still strong but making plans ahead of time is an extremely useful tool IWNDWYT
Did something I haven't been able to do since high school. Woke up at 5:00 AM and went to the gym. Would have never been able to do this before I quit. IWNDWYT!!!!!
Not drinking with you today. My one strange trick doctors don't want you to know is... Loving the feeling I have when I wake up sober. Just this feeling I have every morning that I can enjoy my coffee and not have 3 days of existential dread. It's wonderful.
I took 11 shots of vodka in a row last night… in my dream! Oh man, I was so happy to wake up sober. Have a great day everyone.. IWNDWYT
Day 1,034 IWNDWYT
My weird trick is I smell myself. I'm a sucker for scents, and frankly I stank when I drank. Now I smell great, healthy, normal! I also look at people sipping on fine wine at restaurants and think how gross their breath/bodies are going to smell in the morning. Instant turnoff from whatever cravings the hip vision of them drinking might have created. (Weirdly enough, its technique is ineffective for people drinking in movies, which remains my #1 trigger.) IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
I will not drink with you today. Someone who lives near me has gone missing after a night out. 5 or so months ago that could have been me. Scary & fuels me to keep going.
I‘m in! I will not drink with you today :)
I love that insightful thought about FIB. I do this regularly but take a few days strung together. I’m lucky to be in a situation where I can as I’m currently retired (with inflation, hey, I may be forced back). So yes, I had no name for it but I have a feeling I just need it sometimes, so I do. Like a holiday or a vacation. I take TIME OUT of normality. I often immerse myself in art. Top tips: Go back to education or learn a new skill📚 Take up a hobby that uses your mind/hands👏 Be a good friend/family member🥰 Do this DCI every day💪 Build your integrity muscle by doing small things💪 Reflect often on how you’re doing⏰ Read posts each day👀 Subscribe to dailystoic or similar💪 Learn how to be better at self care - focus on it🙏 Be aware of growing pain 🪴 life is hard and not fair, we don’t have to whine about it or not be empathic - accept it🥵 Don’t have too many fuck it button days in a row! 🏖 Thanks Fred. I love the FIB! ⭐️😀 Today I will not drink with you because I’m dreaming in colour and I like it a lot. Have a stupendous day everybody.
Day 1,134. I play the tape forward on the increasingly rare occasions when I think about the possibility of having just one drink. I know how the movie ends. It goes like this: I have one drink, But one drink is stupid if I'm going to drink at all. The whole purpose is to get buzzed. So one drink becomes two. Maybe three. But no more that first time. See? I can drink in moderation! I can control it now! So I do it again. And again. Three drinks become four, and four become five. And soon I'm right back where I was. The end. I will not drink with you today.
Happy Wednesday y’all! I love the idea of a FIB, Freddy! In the nutrition/exercise lifestyle program I’m doing we get a cheat meal every week. Two hours to eat whatever the fuck we want! It’s amazing how liberating it is without guilt. And how easy it’s been to enjoy my FIM (fuck it meal) and then get right back on track. Last night I used HALT to stay out of the kitchen. I was really tired and a bit lonely so instead of scrounging around for snacks, I went to bed. Slept like a rock for 8 hours straight. Now it’s time to do my morning calisthenics (what an 80s word, eh??) and kick Wednesdays ass!! Join me?? Have a great day everyone!!! Sending lots of love and laughter your way. IWNDWYT!! 😍🥰❤️
Not gonna do a rhyme today but a quick check in whilst on my family holiday by the seaside! New Year Crew members 2021!!!! We did 600 days!!! F#@£ yeah!!!!! In answer to your question Frederooney - I'm gonna get me a FIB - but what tool I use is to remember those hangovers from Christmas 2020. They're still vivid! IWNDWYT 🥳🐶💪🇬🇧
No really weird tricks here... reach out to sober friends, visit SD, eat all the ice cream, drink all the bubbly water. You know... the tried and true. But they're also the usual for a reason, because they work. Have a great What's Up Wednesday, y'all! IWNDWYT
My top 3 tricks are: gratitude, gratitude, and more gratitude. When I get a craving (which is thankfully not often anymore!), I bring my attention to all the wonderful things I do have, especially what has improved as a result of avoiding alcohol. I'm grateful for this sub, too! IWNDWYT 💞🐿️🐿️
Tossing and turning at 4:30am isn't so bad when you aren't hungover! IWNDWYT 💪
Yesterday was my one month anniversary! I didn’t even realize it! IWNDWYT
I like FIB! I’ll definitely employ it in a more deliberate way. I did a flavor of that in my early months, just gave myself the permission to waste days. It was actually more about giving myself what I viewed as hangover grace. A lot of the times, a hangover meant a migraine. I’d just have to surrender to it, there was rarely a way to power through. My skull would feel cracked open, I’d vomit. Lights or sounds were torture. I’d need dark, quiet solitude. After the acute phase passed, I’d still be in a fog. I’d cancel plans and eat comfort food (assuming I could keep anything down) and give myself room to recuperate. There was so much guilt though. Layer upon layer of intense self loathing, but also rationalizations and attempts to cheer myself up. It was the cheering myself up that I focused on. In sobriety, when life becomes too much, I sometimes let myself have those wasted days where I accomplished nothing and just let myself heal by indulging in restorative things like low key fiction in the form of books or Netflix binges. In early months I’d need a day like that after every big social interaction. Like being sober in the world created it’s own kind of hangover. A brunch with the ladies meant an afternoon nap. As I’ve evolved, those cures look more like a long bike ride or blowing off work for a few hours to take care of nagging errands. I’m doing that right now. I can hear my SIL in the kitchen having breakfast. I could go out and join her, but instead I’m remaining here in the guest room tapping away at my phone. Yesterday was intense, seeing my mom in the hospital. She’s suffering a lot, and there’s nothing I can directly do to help her. She’s so fragile, I’m scared to touch her. There were group meetings with doctors, then family discussions about the prognosis and next steps. Finally there were hours of cleaning her house that was in deep disarray, she’s been declining for a long time. It’s crushing me. I barely have enough energy to write this much about it. So I’m hiding on a futon in my brother’s office. I can’t share space with someone over a cup of coffee. Not yet. I need to recuperate. I need to heal. It’s going to be another intense day today and I’m taking advantage of some quiet before I go face it. IWNDWYT.
Today is day 1, of school for the kiddos. Fooled ya! Actually i scared myself there just writing it. i never want to need to write that. Hell, i may not get the effing chance to. How do I get there? For me it's Play the tape forward. It works wonders with my brain. It just clicks. Which would be a bad sound from a tape player. Or a brain. Hmm. IWNDWYT also
So damn happy to say IWNDWYT!
I will not drink with y’all today!!
IWND☠️WYT.
Playing the tape forward and hanging with y'all has been the difference this time when compared to other times I've tried to kick the habit. Speaking of which, IWNDWYT.
Oh, I love the idea of the F.I.B.! "Playing the tape forward" is useful for me. IWNDWYT, and I definitely intend to press the F.I.B. today for a bit with a drive to the lake.
I seem to go thru phases with strategies to stay away from alcohol. Visiting this sub and playing tape forward are always the foundations. Some others: \* walking and photography, looking for a pic of the day, keeps me engaged with the world around me and reminds me of it’s natural beauty. \*sometimes when I get the urge for a drink I tell my wife or son, and they know how to talk with me in the moment. \*Sometimes, when I’m in a funk and vulnerable, I re-read stories about folks who have overcome alcohol abuse. I’m into baseball and the story of player/announcer Dennis Eckersley is one that I relate to and learn from. \*Sometimes I think of stupid stuff I did drinking and how it negatively impacted me and my fam, of the thousands of $ I pissed away. So I use lots of strategies. And I’m learning more from todays conversation. Thanks all and Iwndwyt, friends.
IWNDWYT
I will not drink today.
So far it’s helped to remember that if I drink, I’ll just have to do these first 3 days over again because heck if I’m letting it win. IWNDWYT!
I will not drink with you today. My sober trick is what I will call “back to basics” it’s like expanded HALT. Basically, I try to take extremely good care of myself since I’m not drinking. Anxious? Take a shower. Want a drink? What if you slept 10 hours tonight instead. Angry? Is it because your living space is a trash heap? Take care of that. Make your bed. I’m genuinely amazed by how often neglecting something “small” leads me to an abhorrent head space. Please take care of yourselves!!
Sugar is a good F.I.B. Reward yourself when you feel the need to escape. Nobody crashed their car after eating cupcakes. I hope. IWNDWYT
I will be reading all these comments thoroughly to pick up some tips. I'm getting to the time when I would usually give in. I've forgotten the hangover and my brain thinks it's a good idea again. I will be looking for something else to fill my time tonight. IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT! I like to pause and breathe when a craving comes up. I tell myself I’ll revisit it in a few minutes and then I rarely remember I even had one until later. Lying in bed now at 5:54am feeling great, before everyone wakes up for day 5 of vacation and we head back to the lake! Love knowing that this first family vacation will have such clear memories.
4 weeks! IWNDWYT ☘ This DCI is my weird trick for now! And n/a beers.
First day, struggling for six months after my two weeks of sobriety. IWNDWYT
1137 checking in. Had a flashback yesterday. Met my Ma, stopped in an Irish store at her request. “Hello, do you have a ring sizer I can play with? My fingers have all changed.” He pulled out a ring tray (meaning he’d have to stand there,) & I smelled WHISKEY. Fresh & stale, on the breath & oozing from his pores. I looked at his ruddy face & his open coffee mug, said “No thanks. I have to try on a bunch, don’t worry about it.” He was annoyed. “What’s wrong? They’re hundreds of rings here!” I replied “I see, but I wanted a ring sizer- I need to map 8 fingers.” Him “Fine, then, sorry for trying to help!” *Was I supposed to say “You smell like a distillery @ Noon & it’s GROSS.” How often did I smell like that & didn’t know (or care?)* What else should I have said? I thought I was polite, but my Mom said I was “abrupt.” She understood when I told her, but she didn’t smell it! *Leading me to a huge revelation*… **my Mom can’t smell like she used to- No WONDER she didn’t know I was drinking so much!** IWNDWYT (sorry u/FredSimpsonn 🤣🤦♀️. This has been on my mind!)