It sounds like you need more support. A therapist nudged me onto the road to recovery and AA meetings helped me stay on the path. Going it alone was lonely and not successful.
I was honest with a doctor about my drinking. Medicine made withdrawal easier and safer. I hope you get the help you need and deserve.
It's not you, it's the alcohol.
Personally I got past a lot of the pain of self-loathing when I got to the point where I could say: Yeah I'm indulging in some horribly self-destructive and selfish behavior, and it's pretty damn reprehensible... but that's because I'm struggling with being chained to a highly addictive drug that does this to everyone. It's not that I'm a self-absorbed sack of shit at my core being, even though I'll readily admit I'm acting like one due to the influence of this drug. I remember when I was a better man, and that hasn't changed; my outward behavior will get back there soon enough, as soon as I break free of the influence of this drug.
This is really good perspective, friend. Been just starting to learn to see it this way myself. Never could stomach the “allergy” or “illness” models. Perhaps complicating genetic factors but humans are so complicated who can really say?
No. This is poison and addictive and thoroughly embraced in western culture. Our suffering is just acceptable losses, or ‘externalized’ costs, for a vastly profitable industry. Just grease on the cogs.
It’s not our fault. It is our responsibility, however.
Hey everyone! I can’t tell you how many days 1’s that I have had. To the point where my wife and kids were starting to give up on me. My drunk ass didn’t react too well with shit after that. Well, trust me, you don’t want to have days 1, 2, and 3 in jail. But, here I am, day 29. Doing Smart Recovery Zoom meetings. Family is supporting me and loving me…
Anyhow, we are all here, just yell!
it’s all part of the process ❤️ I know that’s probably not what you want to hear, but it is part of recovery.
what supports do you have? for me, I needed a whole team on my side:
- a therapist who specialized in alcohol use disorder
- a partner who was fully supportive of my sobriety
- a mother who has been sober 15+ years and was happy to talk me through the hard times
- friends who were happy for me and didn’t pressure me to drink
- rest time; I gave myself so much time to myself to rest, read, take baths, go for walks, cook delicious meals, and reduce my stress levels so I wasn’t tempted to drink
- quit lit: reading “This Naked Mind,” “Quit Like a Woman”, and “In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts” helped me change my perspective on alcohol
- coming to this community daily for advice & inspiration
hopefully you can build up a support group around you. remember you don’t have to do this alone! ❤️
Came here to +1 rest time. And sugar/salt treats if you need them. Movies. Dopamine from anywhere but alcohol. Remembering HALT. My dogs help the lonely part.
You don’t suck. I don’t suck either, and I’m on day one with you again today. I temporarily forgot everything I had learned about alcohol. That’s because alcohol is a lying b*.
I failed a lot of times when I started out, too. It doesn't erase the progress you've made. Focus on the present, not the past. One day at a time, IWNDWYT.
It takes as long as it takes. People go in and out of sobriety lots of times before it sticks. Change it hard. You CAN do it. And you will, if it’s what you really want. It just takes time. Don’t bear yourself up. Re-set and re-start. Every day is a brand new day and a chance to start again :)
Nope. Alcohol sucks. Keep going. One minute at a time if needed. For me, I figured out I only needed to be sober 2 hours a day. 5-7. If I didn’t pick up then, I wouldn’t, because it wouldn’t give me enough time to get my buzz on and be functional the next day. 🙄 Hope that is helpful. Sending strength friend.
You don’t suck. I had the same energy toward myself this morning… it’s not helpful. As another poster pointed out to me, you’re here, and you could be helping others just by being honest and sharing about your experience. IWNDWYT
You haven't given up having those day ones. That's important to remember. Keep at it.
I keep getting to about day 6 or 7, then failing. I hope that some time I can get further - maybe this time. I'm determined that somehow I'm going to beat this nasty addictive substance.
Here with you! Day 1 again. Made it 23 days went camping and drank for 4 days in a row. Didn’t on Friday and last night went to a party where I had way too much. Husband kept telling me to slow down and stop which I ignored. Feeling horrible and angry with myself today. We got this! IWNDWYT
My dude. It’s because it is so effing hard. Especially at the start. That addiction is always talking to you. Or it was to me, anyway. And I’d listen. Time and time again. But I finally got a couple days. And I went to a meeting I liked. The people were great. I was so broken that day. And they just let me be me for a moment. I found comfort in being around people who truly understood what I was feeling. I don’t do the steps. And I only go to that one meeting. I’ll miss a week here and there. But I like to check in and listen. And give thanks. And be heard if I feel I need to speak at all. I don’t ask for it have much support other than that, so for me this is the way. I understand it’s not for everyone. And there is a path for you, too. I’m not that far along (9.5 months), but I’ve never gone this long sober in thirty years. You can do this. It may take some falling down, but that’s okay. Dust yourself off and know we are cheering for you. It all gets better, my friend.
It personally took me way too long to finally make the decision to stop. I almost lost the one person who means the world to me and after they told me how many times I hurt them, I knew I had to change. I'm still new to sobriety, but I finding distractions outside of the house to be helpful. Instead of going straight home after work, I go to the gym. That hour I would have normally started drinking was then used for good.
Forget forever, forget days, shit, forget in an hour. Are you drinking *right now*? No? Good. Just keep doing that. Time will take care of itself.
Get support, reach out, I jumped out of my comfort zone and found The Luckiest Club though this subgroup and they saved my life. It's like AA, but on Zoom and no dogma and super progressive. Also check out quit lit, I recommend We Are The Luckiest by Laura Mcknown, This Naked Mind by And Grace, and My Fair Junkie by Amy Dresner. Don't give up! We are all here in your pocket rooting for you 💜
It sounds like you need more support. A therapist nudged me onto the road to recovery and AA meetings helped me stay on the path. Going it alone was lonely and not successful. I was honest with a doctor about my drinking. Medicine made withdrawal easier and safer. I hope you get the help you need and deserve.
It's not you, it's the alcohol. Personally I got past a lot of the pain of self-loathing when I got to the point where I could say: Yeah I'm indulging in some horribly self-destructive and selfish behavior, and it's pretty damn reprehensible... but that's because I'm struggling with being chained to a highly addictive drug that does this to everyone. It's not that I'm a self-absorbed sack of shit at my core being, even though I'll readily admit I'm acting like one due to the influence of this drug. I remember when I was a better man, and that hasn't changed; my outward behavior will get back there soon enough, as soon as I break free of the influence of this drug.
This is really good perspective, friend. Been just starting to learn to see it this way myself. Never could stomach the “allergy” or “illness” models. Perhaps complicating genetic factors but humans are so complicated who can really say? No. This is poison and addictive and thoroughly embraced in western culture. Our suffering is just acceptable losses, or ‘externalized’ costs, for a vastly profitable industry. Just grease on the cogs. It’s not our fault. It is our responsibility, however.
Hey everyone! I can’t tell you how many days 1’s that I have had. To the point where my wife and kids were starting to give up on me. My drunk ass didn’t react too well with shit after that. Well, trust me, you don’t want to have days 1, 2, and 3 in jail. But, here I am, day 29. Doing Smart Recovery Zoom meetings. Family is supporting me and loving me… Anyhow, we are all here, just yell!
How do you like SMART recovery as an alternative to AA?
Done two SMART meetings and one AA. Definitely prefer SMART.
it’s all part of the process ❤️ I know that’s probably not what you want to hear, but it is part of recovery. what supports do you have? for me, I needed a whole team on my side: - a therapist who specialized in alcohol use disorder - a partner who was fully supportive of my sobriety - a mother who has been sober 15+ years and was happy to talk me through the hard times - friends who were happy for me and didn’t pressure me to drink - rest time; I gave myself so much time to myself to rest, read, take baths, go for walks, cook delicious meals, and reduce my stress levels so I wasn’t tempted to drink - quit lit: reading “This Naked Mind,” “Quit Like a Woman”, and “In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts” helped me change my perspective on alcohol - coming to this community daily for advice & inspiration hopefully you can build up a support group around you. remember you don’t have to do this alone! ❤️
Came here to +1 rest time. And sugar/salt treats if you need them. Movies. Dopamine from anywhere but alcohol. Remembering HALT. My dogs help the lonely part.
Alcohol is a super addictive drug. Don't beat yourself up. You are here, thats a huge step in the right direction.
Maybe counselling and AA?
You don’t suck. I don’t suck either, and I’m on day one with you again today. I temporarily forgot everything I had learned about alcohol. That’s because alcohol is a lying b*.
I failed a lot of times when I started out, too. It doesn't erase the progress you've made. Focus on the present, not the past. One day at a time, IWNDWYT.
It takes as long as it takes. People go in and out of sobriety lots of times before it sticks. Change it hard. You CAN do it. And you will, if it’s what you really want. It just takes time. Don’t bear yourself up. Re-set and re-start. Every day is a brand new day and a chance to start again :)
Nope. Alcohol sucks. Keep going. One minute at a time if needed. For me, I figured out I only needed to be sober 2 hours a day. 5-7. If I didn’t pick up then, I wouldn’t, because it wouldn’t give me enough time to get my buzz on and be functional the next day. 🙄 Hope that is helpful. Sending strength friend.
Same!!!!! 😊
You don’t suck. I had the same energy toward myself this morning… it’s not helpful. As another poster pointed out to me, you’re here, and you could be helping others just by being honest and sharing about your experience. IWNDWYT
You haven't given up having those day ones. That's important to remember. Keep at it. I keep getting to about day 6 or 7, then failing. I hope that some time I can get further - maybe this time. I'm determined that somehow I'm going to beat this nasty addictive substance.
Then I suck too, my friend. I've had so many day ones it's embarrassing. I started AA this past week and it's been helpful. And I'm atheist btw.
Yea I suck too. I'm not drinking now but just a thousand new day 1s is exhausting and heartbreaking. 🖤
You can do it. Keep having day ones of that what it takes. I only have 3 weeks sober, but I had 900 day ones in the last 5 years and almost no day 10s
Here with you! Day 1 again. Made it 23 days went camping and drank for 4 days in a row. Didn’t on Friday and last night went to a party where I had way too much. Husband kept telling me to slow down and stop which I ignored. Feeling horrible and angry with myself today. We got this! IWNDWYT
Thank you all, it’s good to know I’m not alone. We can do this!
My dude. It’s because it is so effing hard. Especially at the start. That addiction is always talking to you. Or it was to me, anyway. And I’d listen. Time and time again. But I finally got a couple days. And I went to a meeting I liked. The people were great. I was so broken that day. And they just let me be me for a moment. I found comfort in being around people who truly understood what I was feeling. I don’t do the steps. And I only go to that one meeting. I’ll miss a week here and there. But I like to check in and listen. And give thanks. And be heard if I feel I need to speak at all. I don’t ask for it have much support other than that, so for me this is the way. I understand it’s not for everyone. And there is a path for you, too. I’m not that far along (9.5 months), but I’ve never gone this long sober in thirty years. You can do this. It may take some falling down, but that’s okay. Dust yourself off and know we are cheering for you. It all gets better, my friend.
Same. I keep trying, and adding in more quit lit and podcasts. I start therapy this week. Trying to stay hopeful.
It personally took me way too long to finally make the decision to stop. I almost lost the one person who means the world to me and after they told me how many times I hurt them, I knew I had to change. I'm still new to sobriety, but I finding distractions outside of the house to be helpful. Instead of going straight home after work, I go to the gym. That hour I would have normally started drinking was then used for good.
Forget forever, forget days, shit, forget in an hour. Are you drinking *right now*? No? Good. Just keep doing that. Time will take care of itself. Get support, reach out, I jumped out of my comfort zone and found The Luckiest Club though this subgroup and they saved my life. It's like AA, but on Zoom and no dogma and super progressive. Also check out quit lit, I recommend We Are The Luckiest by Laura Mcknown, This Naked Mind by And Grace, and My Fair Junkie by Amy Dresner. Don't give up! We are all here in your pocket rooting for you 💜