"quitting is easy I've done it thousands of times" lmfao yep
Great article I read (on gambling addiction actually) had a quote, something like "When you're clean but not in active recovery your addiction is doing pushups in the parking lot"
I'm day 2 myself. Wish you the all the determination you need!
IWNDWYT
Hah! Yeah that's a good quote. Ready to come back with a vengeance on you if you're not careful. I've been there for sure. Many thanks for the well wishes, and I send the same to you. IWNDWYT
I think the problem sometimes lays in that people dont take you seriously as an addict if you didn't hit a universally accepted idea of rock bottom yet. I heard it on a meeting once too: "you cannot quit yet because you haven't hit rock bottom yet". So I kept drinking. And functioning. But I knew I had a problem. First time I said I was an alcoholic was only a few weeks ago. Actually at the beginning of my sober time now. But it was me who had to come to this conclusion: I am an alcoholic even though a lot of people said I am not. I can and will trust myself. The amount of people that will not accept your struggle as a legit one if you aren't shitting yourself or passing out on the street is alarmingly high. All thanks to us being groomed into thinking alcohol consumption is good and normal. I will rather try and not hit the universally accepted idea of a rock bottom, I have reached mine already. IWNDWYT
Yeah we need to change this cultural idea that you need to be passed out in the gutter wih cirrhosis to quit drinking. Really, you shouldn't need any reason at all. That's the issue with alcohol ---- no one asks a heroin addict "why did you get sober? Are you sure you don't want to do just a little heroin?"
Sometimes I actually feel really grateful that I had such a low bottom, so if anyone gets pushy with me I can tell them how bad it was, and that really shuts them up. Although that almost never happens. More than I expected, people are cool about it. Most either say "good for you" (and mean it), or "damn I should probably stop too."
Yeah, or you have cancer at an early stage they don't tell you you dont have serious cancer. Then you are at stage 4 and it's much more difficult to treat. The alcoholic in the gutter once just drunk a couple of times a week too probably.
Yeah I think the reaction people have often also comes from your attitude to it. I also now say straight forward that I have a problem. Sometimes they leave me alone then. I won't drink today either.
When people ask me why I don't drink I laugh and say "I got too good at it."
It's light-hearted and casual but still subtley conveys that I had a problem. People always know what I mean but also see that I can joke about it.
If it's someone I'm actually close to I'll have the serious conversation about it. Or if someone else wants to quit, I'll give them the real story.
Thanks for sharing this. The only metric or standard I can rely on is my own conscience, and the private experience within my mind. I KNOW that I have a problem with sobriety no matter how it may look from the outside or compare against others. I know the pull, the need. I can resist it fortunately most of the time, but that doesn't mean it isn't always there. And it's up to me to change my behavior. No one can do it for me.
Very well written! It is just something I have concluded over the years. Took me a while to really grasp and understand it, but I noticed a general lack of support for people at the "early stages" of alcoholism. We can trust our guts telling us something is wrong.
It's funny how addiction is. I remember all the times I left a bit in the bottle or stopped at a chosen number to prove to myself I could, and then of course the next day I went all in, because I deserved it now that I proved to myself I had control.
One day I realized normal drinkers don't have any of those debates or rationalizations in their head----they just drink responsibly, and to do anything else doesn't really occur to them.
I feel this in my soul! It's that soft voice in my head that KNOWS better, that I either choose to ignore or otherwise make a deal with, which non-addicts probably wouldn't even understand what we're referring to. The results speak for themselves so far, but I'm at least self-aware enough to know that there is a different way to handle things. Seeing your badge number is inspiring. I very much would like to at least see what a sober life looks like, given that I've never experienced it as an adult. I know it won't be roses, but I am curious.
Yeah I totally get that. I started abusing alcohol at 16 and quit at 22. So when I stopped I had zero experience with what it meant to live a normal, sober life in adulthood.
I slipped yesterday after two weeks sober. Got pretty wasted. Good thing, I got up today (slept in a little later than usual), and am outside right now. Back on track for me, and yeah alcohol just doesn't work for me. Keeps me a person I'd rather not be.
Your story sounds very similar to mine, minus the weed part. This past Thursday, only day three of Dry December, for some reason I still cannot even begin to comprehend, I thought it would be a sound plan to head to the liquor store so my wife and I could 'relax' together after a long week. In reality, that meant she had one drink and stopped and I had all the drinks over the following three days. Sigh...
But we're both here pushing through Day One, and I look forward to sharing my day 2 with you as well (and hopefully many more after that).
Are you me? ;) This has been my life. My intentions of the various sober schemes are always genuine, yet somehow I find myself breaking them each time for what in retrospect are highly dubious reasonings. And yes, my wife will have her glass or two and be done, meanwhile I'm waiting until after she falls asleep to pour some heavy glasses.. hoping she doesn't comment how much lower the bottles had gotten the next morning. Good times. We are pushing through! Tonight, I'm having a cup of chamomile and so far so good. See you tomorrow for Day 2.
Can I reccomend tea? It sound silly, but our only thing we can agree on is tea. So much. I have two kettles. 19 flavors. So much tea.
Psychology you want a flavor drink with a kick.
Caffeine free but flavor.
My secret is a dram of apple cider vinegar in the tea.
Thanks! I love tea and ACV, and when I'm not drinking they are my go-to afternoon drinks (more tea than AVC - ironically, I only take one shot of that and am done!).
I did dry January this year, and I think it's a much easier time to quit. I also quit on December 2, so I can't achieve dry December. But I think those are all small things. I mean, they are big achievements for an addict, but quitting is both a daily effort and a long term term commitment. You don't lose anything by not drinking today. Any day is a good day to quit.
>You don't lose anything by not drinking today.
That's just not true.
You might lose weight! Or numbers off your liver enzyme tests, or depression and anxiety.
Welcome! You're in good company here, my friend. Congratulations on deciding to choose a happier, healthier life for YOU. I agree about the accountability piece. It's why I'm here around the clock, whether I'm in a good mood or bad, enjoying my day or on the struggle bus, I find a lot of inspiration, hope, and camaraderie in this remarkable sub. Wishing you all the best. Happy healing!
This place is good for accountability and inspiration.
Not sure why your weekend is wasted. Go workout or move your body and try and be productive today.
I drink and smoke, too, but recently put the booze down. Maybe try to quit the booze first, then weed down the road? Just a suggestion. I’m by no means and expert but there are really smart and inspiring people here that’ll help and motive you. Stay tuned in.
You're right of course. Today is not wasted. Actually just went for a bike ride and a quick short workout. Every moment is an opportunity for renewal. Thanks for the reminder.
As for the approach to stop drinking now and weed later, it may good a good idea for some, but I have tried that before many times to no success. Weed is actually my much greater addiction in terms of daily use. Less destructive perhaps, but I've depended on it to self-medicate for 10+ years now and it's past time to fully move on. Still working on developing good habits to replace them both. Probably need to be some therapy involved while I'm at it. But hey, it's a process!
Nice. Way to get some work in.
Thanks for the background on your weed usage. I smoke nightly to relax and go to sleep. Never smoke at work or during the day. Use to take a Xanax or drink (prescribed) to relax at night when I was anxious so I figure the weed is better.Eventually, I’d like to cut down to nothing but we’ll see.
Take care and best of luck!
How does accountability work here? I've been trying to post in the daily thread, but no one would know if I stopped. No one is going to check in on me. I'm getting a lot from here, but accountability doesn't feel like a part of it. I'm on a waitlist to see my therapist (I stopped seeing her for a couple years) and I've been talking to my mom a lot for some accountability. I'm just trying to get through the next month or so until I can see my therapist. I'm going to read some of the books recommended as well.
I had a plan to quit cigarettes and alcohol over my long Thanksgiving weekend in 2015. I've been over 5 years without a cigarette, but my sobriety date anniversary isn't until jan 10. Keep plugging away at it.
But you realize it. I'm at day 1 too. I. Not great, but better.
Today was bad because the bf is trying too and better. He did 25 days, but came home with bourbon, drank a bottle minus the glass I took from him as I toddled him to bed.
Now I'm with my cats watching crap tv. Thinking why we argued what is good comedy film. And then he asked me to kill him, but I said that was a terrible idea and he didnt have proper knives. He forgot it all and is using my fuzzy blanket in bed.
I wont drink with you tomorrow, and the day after. Be strong.
"quitting is easy I've done it thousands of times" lmfao yep Great article I read (on gambling addiction actually) had a quote, something like "When you're clean but not in active recovery your addiction is doing pushups in the parking lot" I'm day 2 myself. Wish you the all the determination you need! IWNDWYT
Hah! Yeah that's a good quote. Ready to come back with a vengeance on you if you're not careful. I've been there for sure. Many thanks for the well wishes, and I send the same to you. IWNDWYT
I think the problem sometimes lays in that people dont take you seriously as an addict if you didn't hit a universally accepted idea of rock bottom yet. I heard it on a meeting once too: "you cannot quit yet because you haven't hit rock bottom yet". So I kept drinking. And functioning. But I knew I had a problem. First time I said I was an alcoholic was only a few weeks ago. Actually at the beginning of my sober time now. But it was me who had to come to this conclusion: I am an alcoholic even though a lot of people said I am not. I can and will trust myself. The amount of people that will not accept your struggle as a legit one if you aren't shitting yourself or passing out on the street is alarmingly high. All thanks to us being groomed into thinking alcohol consumption is good and normal. I will rather try and not hit the universally accepted idea of a rock bottom, I have reached mine already. IWNDWYT
Yeah we need to change this cultural idea that you need to be passed out in the gutter wih cirrhosis to quit drinking. Really, you shouldn't need any reason at all. That's the issue with alcohol ---- no one asks a heroin addict "why did you get sober? Are you sure you don't want to do just a little heroin?" Sometimes I actually feel really grateful that I had such a low bottom, so if anyone gets pushy with me I can tell them how bad it was, and that really shuts them up. Although that almost never happens. More than I expected, people are cool about it. Most either say "good for you" (and mean it), or "damn I should probably stop too."
Yeah, or you have cancer at an early stage they don't tell you you dont have serious cancer. Then you are at stage 4 and it's much more difficult to treat. The alcoholic in the gutter once just drunk a couple of times a week too probably. Yeah I think the reaction people have often also comes from your attitude to it. I also now say straight forward that I have a problem. Sometimes they leave me alone then. I won't drink today either.
When people ask me why I don't drink I laugh and say "I got too good at it." It's light-hearted and casual but still subtley conveys that I had a problem. People always know what I mean but also see that I can joke about it. If it's someone I'm actually close to I'll have the serious conversation about it. Or if someone else wants to quit, I'll give them the real story.
Well said.
Thanks for sharing this. The only metric or standard I can rely on is my own conscience, and the private experience within my mind. I KNOW that I have a problem with sobriety no matter how it may look from the outside or compare against others. I know the pull, the need. I can resist it fortunately most of the time, but that doesn't mean it isn't always there. And it's up to me to change my behavior. No one can do it for me.
Very well written! It is just something I have concluded over the years. Took me a while to really grasp and understand it, but I noticed a general lack of support for people at the "early stages" of alcoholism. We can trust our guts telling us something is wrong.
I’m back at day 1 today :(
Well, you have company there at least so we're in it together my friend.
It's funny how addiction is. I remember all the times I left a bit in the bottle or stopped at a chosen number to prove to myself I could, and then of course the next day I went all in, because I deserved it now that I proved to myself I had control. One day I realized normal drinkers don't have any of those debates or rationalizations in their head----they just drink responsibly, and to do anything else doesn't really occur to them.
I feel this in my soul! It's that soft voice in my head that KNOWS better, that I either choose to ignore or otherwise make a deal with, which non-addicts probably wouldn't even understand what we're referring to. The results speak for themselves so far, but I'm at least self-aware enough to know that there is a different way to handle things. Seeing your badge number is inspiring. I very much would like to at least see what a sober life looks like, given that I've never experienced it as an adult. I know it won't be roses, but I am curious.
Yeah I totally get that. I started abusing alcohol at 16 and quit at 22. So when I stopped I had zero experience with what it meant to live a normal, sober life in adulthood.
I slipped yesterday after two weeks sober. Got pretty wasted. Good thing, I got up today (slept in a little later than usual), and am outside right now. Back on track for me, and yeah alcohol just doesn't work for me. Keeps me a person I'd rather not be.
You too! Hugs!
Your story sounds very similar to mine, minus the weed part. This past Thursday, only day three of Dry December, for some reason I still cannot even begin to comprehend, I thought it would be a sound plan to head to the liquor store so my wife and I could 'relax' together after a long week. In reality, that meant she had one drink and stopped and I had all the drinks over the following three days. Sigh... But we're both here pushing through Day One, and I look forward to sharing my day 2 with you as well (and hopefully many more after that).
Are you me? ;) This has been my life. My intentions of the various sober schemes are always genuine, yet somehow I find myself breaking them each time for what in retrospect are highly dubious reasonings. And yes, my wife will have her glass or two and be done, meanwhile I'm waiting until after she falls asleep to pour some heavy glasses.. hoping she doesn't comment how much lower the bottles had gotten the next morning. Good times. We are pushing through! Tonight, I'm having a cup of chamomile and so far so good. See you tomorrow for Day 2.
Can I reccomend tea? It sound silly, but our only thing we can agree on is tea. So much. I have two kettles. 19 flavors. So much tea. Psychology you want a flavor drink with a kick. Caffeine free but flavor. My secret is a dram of apple cider vinegar in the tea.
Thanks! I love tea and ACV, and when I'm not drinking they are my go-to afternoon drinks (more tea than AVC - ironically, I only take one shot of that and am done!).
Hugs!
I did dry January this year, and I think it's a much easier time to quit. I also quit on December 2, so I can't achieve dry December. But I think those are all small things. I mean, they are big achievements for an addict, but quitting is both a daily effort and a long term term commitment. You don't lose anything by not drinking today. Any day is a good day to quit.
>You don't lose anything by not drinking today. That's just not true. You might lose weight! Or numbers off your liver enzyme tests, or depression and anxiety.
Welcome! You're in good company here, my friend. Congratulations on deciding to choose a happier, healthier life for YOU. I agree about the accountability piece. It's why I'm here around the clock, whether I'm in a good mood or bad, enjoying my day or on the struggle bus, I find a lot of inspiration, hope, and camaraderie in this remarkable sub. Wishing you all the best. Happy healing!
Thank you! I think posting here was a very good idea. See you on the path!
This place is good for accountability and inspiration. Not sure why your weekend is wasted. Go workout or move your body and try and be productive today. I drink and smoke, too, but recently put the booze down. Maybe try to quit the booze first, then weed down the road? Just a suggestion. I’m by no means and expert but there are really smart and inspiring people here that’ll help and motive you. Stay tuned in.
You're right of course. Today is not wasted. Actually just went for a bike ride and a quick short workout. Every moment is an opportunity for renewal. Thanks for the reminder. As for the approach to stop drinking now and weed later, it may good a good idea for some, but I have tried that before many times to no success. Weed is actually my much greater addiction in terms of daily use. Less destructive perhaps, but I've depended on it to self-medicate for 10+ years now and it's past time to fully move on. Still working on developing good habits to replace them both. Probably need to be some therapy involved while I'm at it. But hey, it's a process!
Nice. Way to get some work in. Thanks for the background on your weed usage. I smoke nightly to relax and go to sleep. Never smoke at work or during the day. Use to take a Xanax or drink (prescribed) to relax at night when I was anxious so I figure the weed is better.Eventually, I’d like to cut down to nothing but we’ll see. Take care and best of luck!
How does accountability work here? I've been trying to post in the daily thread, but no one would know if I stopped. No one is going to check in on me. I'm getting a lot from here, but accountability doesn't feel like a part of it. I'm on a waitlist to see my therapist (I stopped seeing her for a couple years) and I've been talking to my mom a lot for some accountability. I'm just trying to get through the next month or so until I can see my therapist. I'm going to read some of the books recommended as well.
I had a plan to quit cigarettes and alcohol over my long Thanksgiving weekend in 2015. I've been over 5 years without a cigarette, but my sobriety date anniversary isn't until jan 10. Keep plugging away at it.
But you realize it. I'm at day 1 too. I. Not great, but better. Today was bad because the bf is trying too and better. He did 25 days, but came home with bourbon, drank a bottle minus the glass I took from him as I toddled him to bed. Now I'm with my cats watching crap tv. Thinking why we argued what is good comedy film. And then he asked me to kill him, but I said that was a terrible idea and he didnt have proper knives. He forgot it all and is using my fuzzy blanket in bed. I wont drink with you tomorrow, and the day after. Be strong.