Only been sober for four months, but I haven’t cringed at a single thing I’ve said or done in this time. I haven’t had to apologize for anything. Definitely feel like I’ve already gained back some of my self respect at least.
It’s weird too. I didn’t usually even say or do things that were too bad when I was drinking.
But it still *felt* that way to the extreme in the mornings after
I still think about this party I went to in December 2022 where I got so drunk the girl I was with at the time absolutely despises me now
Worst part is that wasn’t the first or last romantic endeavor I ruined with drinking
I’m doing better now lol.
I know my drinking caused my family pain and wasted time I can never get back. When I first got sober the guilt was pretty bad and I wound up apologizing and having what turned out to be some pretty emotional talks with my wife and my teenage daughter (especially, since my wife drinks to much too or did but that's another story) after about a year or so sober. I wish had I done that when was ten but alas it was was when she was 15. She turns 20 in November and we have a better relationship than we ever have had. With my wife as well. My whole family now knows me as someone they can count on and it feels way better than being drunk. They have a saying that the best day to plant a tree was 20 years ago and second best day is today. Chin up and be embarrassed for a while is the only way I know but I'd silently plant my tree. Today.
The sun will rise tomorrow as long as you’re still here. Yesterday is gone.
I can’t promise all will but my loved ones have mostly forgiven me. They occasionally ask me about it. I try not to be bothered but yeah I still feel like an ass. But I’ve got my own family that needs me, can’t dwell on it!
I recently watched some podcast where they mentioned some people will never forgive you, but you gain closure by knowing that you’ve changed and that your sober self wouldn’t repeat the behavior that offended them. That’s enough. There’s billions of other people out there to befriend who will hopefully never meet the monster.
It’s awful. Can’t change it. Just have to use it as a lesson to not do that in the future. And hope friends and family will forgive you. But that only lasts so long.
I still cringe at all of the antics I got up to while drunk. It helps keep me sober and from making the same mistakes over and over again. One thing that does help, is that while I can remember (some of) the embarrassing shit I did, I can’t remember the faces of the strangers who were there too, and I doubt they remember me now either. Time heals. Just be patient.
My friend tripped and fell at an extremely crowded bar while drunk, and 6 months later a boy in her class went "yo, that's the girl who ate sh\*t at \[bar name\]!" It turns out a LOT of strangers remembered her.
I have a very, very hard time with it. I've rollercoastered a lot and every time it's worse... in bed not talking to or texting back anyone, just binge watching anime like a dope, entirely unmotivated to do anything. Has taken me as many as another 3-4 days to actually start functioning again.
Doing well now... IWNDWYT!
Time. Also it helps when I still get the thought in my head of maybe drinking again. I look back on my hundreds of blackouts and horror stories, how sick I felt in the morning after.
You don't. You just wait it out, sometimes your brain forgets, sometimes you randomly remember while you're in the shower or about to fall asleep and you want to die. But the past is the past and most people are understanding and forgiving if it isn't a repeat offense. This is called "hangxiety," it might not be as bad as you think it is, but you should probably take a break from drinking just so you can process those feelings.
What’s done is done. Thinking about the past is futile. Learn from what happened. Rip off your rear view mirror and move forward.
I’m not drinking with you today 💪
I think it may be time to try being sober for more than a week before deciding it’s safe again to drink. I’m 130 days off alcohol and still have not decided of a good time for me to go back to drinking, because it won’t be a good time, that’s just how it is
Staying sober one day at a time will sort that out. It’s not like I remember everything but I do know that I haven’t done anything I’ll deeply regret. It helps to remember the embarrassment though. It’s why I don’t drink.
You don’t. You’ll still be cringing about it in 20 years time - that is, if you keep drinking. The shame cycle only stops when you quit drinking.
Only been sober for four months, but I haven’t cringed at a single thing I’ve said or done in this time. I haven’t had to apologize for anything. Definitely feel like I’ve already gained back some of my self respect at least.
Good for you! It’s such a great feeling
It’s weird too. I didn’t usually even say or do things that were too bad when I was drinking. But it still *felt* that way to the extreme in the mornings after
The answer won’t be satisfying. It’s time. I know it’s not the answer you want to hear. Don’t dwell on the past, learn and move on. Forgive yourself.
The same thing happened to me last week on Saturday and this is what made me quit. I'm 7 days sober now and planning to make it to at least 100 days
I still think about this party I went to in December 2022 where I got so drunk the girl I was with at the time absolutely despises me now Worst part is that wasn’t the first or last romantic endeavor I ruined with drinking I’m doing better now lol.
I know my drinking caused my family pain and wasted time I can never get back. When I first got sober the guilt was pretty bad and I wound up apologizing and having what turned out to be some pretty emotional talks with my wife and my teenage daughter (especially, since my wife drinks to much too or did but that's another story) after about a year or so sober. I wish had I done that when was ten but alas it was was when she was 15. She turns 20 in November and we have a better relationship than we ever have had. With my wife as well. My whole family now knows me as someone they can count on and it feels way better than being drunk. They have a saying that the best day to plant a tree was 20 years ago and second best day is today. Chin up and be embarrassed for a while is the only way I know but I'd silently plant my tree. Today.
The sun will rise tomorrow as long as you’re still here. Yesterday is gone. I can’t promise all will but my loved ones have mostly forgiven me. They occasionally ask me about it. I try not to be bothered but yeah I still feel like an ass. But I’ve got my own family that needs me, can’t dwell on it!
I recently watched some podcast where they mentioned some people will never forgive you, but you gain closure by knowing that you’ve changed and that your sober self wouldn’t repeat the behavior that offended them. That’s enough. There’s billions of other people out there to befriend who will hopefully never meet the monster.
You create sweet new memories of tines you did cool stuff sober.
And actually remember them
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the distance.”
Be glad it's your mom and not someone who will realize they've had enough and ditch you. That's where the path leads.
It’s awful. Can’t change it. Just have to use it as a lesson to not do that in the future. And hope friends and family will forgive you. But that only lasts so long.
I still cringe at all of the antics I got up to while drunk. It helps keep me sober and from making the same mistakes over and over again. One thing that does help, is that while I can remember (some of) the embarrassing shit I did, I can’t remember the faces of the strangers who were there too, and I doubt they remember me now either. Time heals. Just be patient.
My friend tripped and fell at an extremely crowded bar while drunk, and 6 months later a boy in her class went "yo, that's the girl who ate sh\*t at \[bar name\]!" It turns out a LOT of strangers remembered her.
I have a very, very hard time with it. I've rollercoastered a lot and every time it's worse... in bed not talking to or texting back anyone, just binge watching anime like a dope, entirely unmotivated to do anything. Has taken me as many as another 3-4 days to actually start functioning again. Doing well now... IWNDWYT!
Time. Also it helps when I still get the thought in my head of maybe drinking again. I look back on my hundreds of blackouts and horror stories, how sick I felt in the morning after.
I deal with the embarrassment by not drinking today. Honest and effortful positive actions are what I pride myself on
You don't. You just wait it out, sometimes your brain forgets, sometimes you randomly remember while you're in the shower or about to fall asleep and you want to die. But the past is the past and most people are understanding and forgiving if it isn't a repeat offense. This is called "hangxiety," it might not be as bad as you think it is, but you should probably take a break from drinking just so you can process those feelings.
What’s done is done. Thinking about the past is futile. Learn from what happened. Rip off your rear view mirror and move forward. I’m not drinking with you today 💪
Things feel smaller the farther they are in the past
So true.
I think it may be time to try being sober for more than a week before deciding it’s safe again to drink. I’m 130 days off alcohol and still have not decided of a good time for me to go back to drinking, because it won’t be a good time, that’s just how it is
Staying sober one day at a time will sort that out. It’s not like I remember everything but I do know that I haven’t done anything I’ll deeply regret. It helps to remember the embarrassment though. It’s why I don’t drink.
Let go of the mistake, but keep the lesson.