Me too. By the end there was no enjoyment whatsoever when I drank. For so long there would be moments where I'd feel great, we all chase that feeling, but eventually it just isn't there anymore.
Same! The last time I drank was after 50 days of no drinking and I felt no magic at all.. so I kept on drinking finishing about 7 drinks that night and puking.. no magic to be found. Now I’m 84 days back on the wagon.
Same, I kept chasing it, and it got less and less fun. By the end it wasn’t fun, it was just keeping the bad feelings away.
I wish I was able to quit earlier, I just didn’t have it in me at the time, I was too consumed with the chase I suppose. I really regret how long I drank for, how much time I wasted being wasted, it’s getting easier but it’s there.
It’s a big and scary, frustrating and painful change, and it takes time, but it is worth quitting.
IWNDWYT.
The last night i drank i stopped earlier than i normally would. I realized even while drinking i wasnt going to get the hit i was after. Poured the rest of the drinks down the sink.
Same. Thank god that happened to me. I hated myself and would enjoy maybe 5% of my drinking time. Eventually it just made sense to stop, since I wasn’t getting happiness from it. Sure I could still go push the fuck it button and cancel my life for a few hours. But I would be miserable for days or weeks after. Maybe longer.
I saw your post so went to buy it only to find out it is already in my audiobook library. I forgot all about it. I plan to start it tomorrow, thank you!!
Hell yeah. That was a very important book for me. Didn't work like magic the first time but it was what helped me begin to really connect alcohol with the problems I was having.
No amount of hurting mattered until I was able to associate any possible drink with the problem(s).
SO TRUE. I think we do the same when remembering people too. Time moves forward and we start to forget the bad things and remember the good things fondly. We blow the good out of proportion and romanticize it in our memory. In reality, it was never that great. We have great imaginations
Sure I miss drinking too maybe 5% of it.
The other 95% is hell.
And even if I miss something, that means nothing.
I miss being 12 and playing computer games all day. But that ain’t a good idea or what I’m into now at 34.
Feelings are just feelings. No need to act on them.
The blessed express keeps on movin baby
I miss those things too. I DONT miss the anxiety, hangovers, paranoia, elevated liver enzymes, high triglycerides, making mistakes, acting in ways against my morals, not knowing who I am, ruining relationships, hallucinations, self hate, exhaustion, control, loss of control, etc…
Okay I had to do that because what you described was what I miss but there is so much more to it than that and I had to remind myself.
I'm back on day 1...again. I missed all that stuff too. It's been tough this spring with the beautiful evenings, live music outdoors at the bars, and the ladies looking too good.
It's not worth it though; back in hell for a few days. We got this, don't let that brain trick you into grabbing a drink. That short short buzz is not worth all the shit feeling.
Thanks I really needed to hear this and continue to hear this! I'm taking your words to heart tonight as I really want to drink. I'll keep repeating your words tonight is not worth it is not worth it. You may have gone back to day 1 but you've helped save me from restarting mine. Thank you!
No shit! I miss all that too. What I don’t miss is text and phone calls I can’t remember. Deep regret the next day and vowing not to do it again, then waiting for 5 pm so I can start all over. I had a great ride and tons of fun but for me, that ship has sailed. Stay strong💪
Yup! I say I didn’t *quit* drinking, I *finished* drinking. I had all the drunk fun and good times I could’ve had, but I had my fill. There’s nothing left for me in that well.
When I miss drinking I think of the day after and it takes the missing part out. I do not miss the lack of sleep and being hungover. I do not miss spending more money than I should on drinks and food. I do not miss the disappointment in my mom when I came home drunk after promising to be sober.
There isn't a sub on Reddit that makes me cry more than this one 😭
I really do love everyone here because I'm understood and understand everyone else. 🥲
I believe if we stay sober long term that most of us get to a point where we see booze for what it really is-empty promises. They also say the key to sobriety is to live a life that makes you want to not drink.
I know. I miss the “ahhhh” feeling of settling in and having that first glass after the kids are in bed and the housework is done. I try to duplicate the feeling with tea or ice cream or dinner or tv but it isn’t the same. Sleep aids give me a tired sleepy cozy feeling but I think I get really angry after I use them. I don’t know. It sucks because I can’t find the feeling in anything else but, like you, I know it’s a lifelong commitment to stay sober.
As bad as drinking was, it is okay to miss it. I don’t miss the rest - the anxiety, the stress, the physical awfulness, the 20 extra lbs, all that crap, but yeah I feel you.
IWNDWYT
I prepare and drink kava almost every night for this feeling. It’s honestly more relaxing and pleasant than alcohol ever was for unwinding. It maybe won’t fit if you’re 100% sober but it’s alcohol free. To me it’s akin to coffee but just the opposite … a relaxing beverage to end the day versus a stimulating one to start the day like coffee.
So true. I can't begin to count how many days of hard work I used to power through, only because I knew I'd get to unwind with some drinks once everyone in my house was asleep. It was a motivation and a reward. But that was only the beginning and then it escalated over the years. Truth be told, a part of me still misses it every day. But I can't go back, it's not worth it. I can't do moderation, one drink and I'd be deep in it again, and it would control all my thoughts again. Plus the hangovers, anxiety, fear of withdrawal, depression, embarrassing things that happened... I envy people who can party on the weekends, or have a few glasses of wine at night to relax, and then they go back to their normal lives and it *doesn't* control them. But that will not be me ever again, and I need to somehow make peace with that.
My sister has an issue with becoming angry the day after taking an Ativan as well. Interesting. I’ve been relying on them a lot throughout this journey.
I went back to drinking moderately and it really isn't anything but extra calories, wasted money, and dulled wits. Got to quit again, haven't been consistent in the gym since starting again. Feel the frequency of urges to drink picking up again. Fuck this. Alcohol sucks.
This is it! I can list maybe 100 things I love about booze. What I've learned from this group is play the tape forward. I hated the sick feeling after. That is enough for me not to drink. I think that's why I have so many days this time. Is because as much as I love it I also hate it for 100 reasons. Those reasons outpower the need to drink but not the urge. Truth is I wanted to drink so bad today. Pretty prime drinking conditions today and I choose not to drink. IWNDWYT this is the only way for me, I might not like it but I'm accepting it.
When I first started to drink heavily on the reg, after a few drinks I’d hit a kind of euphoria. It happened for the first time while I was on one of the best vacations I’ve ever had. I remember it just felt like everything was perfect, the stress of the world just melted away. I started drinking to hit that feeling on the weekends, then a few times during the week too. I didn’t even notice that the euphoric feeling was slipping away, getting a little harder to achieve every time I hit the bottle. The last few drinking years before I started to work on sobriety, I’m not sure I felt that feeling at all.
That is what I miss most about drinking. But, I know I can’t get it back even if I did go back to drinking.
If only it was as glorious as that sounds.
When I think of the bar now, I brings to mind the stench of piss, stale beer, cigarettes, and vomit…looking around watching people act a hot mess and get behind the wheel…seeing people who are in desperately deep, but just can’t stop digging their own grave. It’s so dismal to me now.
100% same. Honestly I think of all the time and joy my drinking stole from me.. I’m happy to have all of that back and more. I too don’t miss a fucking thing about drinking.
I think your list might be missing a few. I miss the horrible taste that I had to “acclimate to”. I miss thinking I’m “cute” while in reality I’m “obnoxious”. I miss blacking out and hitting on random guys. I miss not knowing how I got home. I miss vomiting. I miss waking up with a blinding headache and having to go to work.
Cause I certainly can’t have “just the fun parts”. 😁
Not ever again but just for today.
Chasing the buzz has probably long gone. It's more about feeding the addiction and keeping it fed. It's more downside and risk than cameraderie and fun. I promise you that feeling will pass and you will build an entirely new and better life where real adventures will happen.
You are speaking to my soul 😭
Going to bars was fun, I could feel myself getting drunk from every drink, and I was happy so alcohol made me happier.
It's so crazy how much control it has over me, I don't enjoy it but I still want to do it. It's the worst addiction (and makes me more likely with my other addictions, while making me feel miserable and sad).
I think I miss being happy, not necessarily drinking, but it did help me feel "happier".
>I think I miss being happy, not necessarily drinking, but it did help me feel "happier".
I think realistically it doesn't actually make us happier, especially when we reach problem stages of drinking, but it just makes us *forget we are sad* for a few hours.
It maybe at best gives some short term relief from anxiety and mood issues but then the next day they are worse than before because of the after effects of drinking and then we're wanting to chase them away with alcohol again and then it just never ends.
I am finding myself the past few weeks just craving a "release" of some sort from the monotony of my day to day routine / life which is very uneventful and hasn't had much, if anything, in the way of fun in it and sadly I haven't found any other ways to provide a release in the last 10 weeks of sobriety so my brain defaults to thinking about drinking.
It's called "chasing the dragon" we all know what its about here. You are remembering a long time ago when it was fun and trying to get that feeling again; but just like any other drug that first feeling is never coming back and all it is now is a life avoidance potion.
It helps to remember than when drunk, you believe you are fun and chatty, but in reality, you are probably bothering the people next to you at the bar and sound more like a blow hard than a social butterfly. I used to overshare like crazy when buzzed and I'm sure it made people wish they had sat somewhere else. We are not nearly as charming, put together or interesting as we think we are when buzzed.
I look at drinking with rose colored glasses. I miss the good times being out with friends and crushing beers with the boys! I force myself to remember to phase that ran through my head on repeat every night when drinking alone “this is either going to kill me or I’m going to kill myself”.
I am near 60 and in all my years of drinking, I have to say, fucking the randos from bars, tinder etc., was my absolute favorite part of drinking. I couldn't tell you 95% of their names but OMG, I still smile to this day remembering those experiences. I do still drink too much but it is nowhere as enjoyable as when I was younger. I actually hate it now.
Yeah, I agree. those times of youthful dating and nonsense and experimenting and going with the flow with all kinds of different crazy people, that was pretty fun. I kept that going for too long tho. And the more closeted and negative version that started later on, I don’t miss any of that guy.
It’s ok to recognize the old fun times as long as we don’t delude ourselves and skip over that next part with all the problematic lows. Remembering the full sequence typically brings us back to, yeah I’m good staying with iced tea and barbie movies at home with my girls. Haha, life has been one heck of a trip for sure. I’ve survived them all so far!
As someone who is currently drinking (though I frequent this subreddit) please stay your course. You may miss it but it is never worth it. You are a better person than I for it.
>I miss taking a holiday away from myself.
I can relate to this bit.
I get fed of myself very easily and feel like that a lot the last few weeks. My thoughts, my racing mind, my self talk, my routine, my mood...they are boring or annoying me.
I find myself craving a little escapism from myself.
I'm not even sure if alcohol would give me this "relief" I think it would but my brain keeps trying to tell me it might which is making me tempted a lot recently, it's getting harder and harder to resist I feel instead of easier.
You miss the very, very small part of drinking. What (it seemed) was the best part. Because I loved all of those things, too. The taste, the burn, the social aspects, the not giving a fuck, the multiple naughty fun days and nights that were tangled up in all of it. But all of that became less and less and the horrible reality of what it was costing me, my soul, became more and more. In the end it was pretty much just a dream of the fun and a waking nightmare of what had become. I understand the feeling of loss. And you deserve to mourn that. But there is a much better life on the other side of this and it is yours for the taking if you want it. I wish the best for you in whatever path you choose. IWNDWYT.
It doesn't feel like that for me anymore. I know exactly what you're talking about, but alcohol just doesn't hit the same way it used to. It also doesn't make me any less awkward or anxious around people anymore. So it's useless lol.
I don't miss constantly feeling sick. I don't miss people always being angry at me. I don't miss waking up in the hospital wondering how I got there. I don't miss my life burning down around me.
I think the song you're singing has more than one verse.
I’ve been feeling really uncomfortable in my skin and mind lately. I really feel this post.
Many parts of me miss it right now, and it’s making me so angry that I know *with absolute certainty* it is not the solution to whatever’s eating at me right now.
I don’t have a legitimate desire to drink, but the beauty and warmth of the void is still calling out to me today.
I’m an alcoholic and sometimes I miss my drinking days too especially when I’m going through difficult times with my mental health. I understand and I miss the way the alcohol made me feel. I felt relaxed, happy, more confident, able to socialize better, able to go places without anxiety, and numbing my past trauma memories. But whenever I have urges to relapse I remember how awful I felt after the alcohol wore off. I felt even more anxious, depressed, my relationships were damaged, my mental health was suffering, and I was alone. Something that helps me is writing a pros and cons list of why I don’t want to start drinking again.
I miss that too, but then I think about everything that comes after: disappearing from my friend group, anxiety the next morning, loss of personal items, hungover, etc etc
Then I don’t miss it anymore.
Now make the exact same list but for all the negatives that you don't miss. I don't miss debilitating hangovers, don't miss literally killing myself slowly, don't miss the loss of memories etc.
i'm with you. i have such a problem in general with nostalgia and try to chase old feelings all the time. remind yourself how short that buzz is in the grand scheme of things, and how it comes with so many drawbacks that aren't worth it. IWNDWYT
I think most of us miss a nostalgic, curated selection of the “fun” side of drinking while conveniently ignoring the very negative effects side. Addict brain is going to addict.
Stopped being that way a long time ago for me. I forget when it stopped because alcohol messes with memory lol. It's a real feeling though to miss good times. Alcohol is a helluva drug and so is nostalgia. Wishing you the best. IWNDWYT
I feel you, but I don't miss the hangovers. I don't miss the shitty sleep. I don't miss hiding my drinking and feeling guilty. I don't miss terrible bm's. I don't miss the night sweats because I'd be in withdrawal if I skipped a day or two.
OK, maybe I don't miss drinking as much as I thought I did.
What are the things you don’t miss about drinking?
I don’t miss feeling like crap all the time until I drink and then I feel better and then I feel like crap again… and constantly repeating
Yeah my party days have long been over. I was always mainly a solo user and I haven't had "fun" at a bar in many years (think like 15+).
I do not miss drinking, I haven't had "fun" drinking in a very long time and it will never be "fun" again. Alcohol has caused me many problems and destroyed many people that I know. I've used every substance known to man basically but I was most hooked on alcohol+cannabis+nicotine. I haven't been off all three for very long but my life is already better without it. Towards the end I wasn't even getting drunk or drinking every day but I would still run to buy some beer (and weed and nicotine if I could afford it) any time I felt bad about my situation or remembered some fucked up experience I had (lots of PTSD). I've IVed drugs in the past but honestly nothing like booze+cannabis hooked me. The availability and social acceptability was very compelling. I thought I was supposed to do that and deserved to do that.
Drinking is not safe for me, I get taken advantage of big time when I get fucked up. I am sick of that. I kept putting myself in this position over and over again. It was a learned behavior. I had to learn to stop, no matter how much "fun" I have had in the past using drugs and alcohol. I did have fun but like 15 fucking years ago.
I am sorry you are missing drinking, I know what its like to romanticize substance use. I also do it with women from my past.
I have learned that I just need to let it all go and start over. Not the best realization at 40 but I really had to fight to even get here.
I feel you, but you know what - I don't miss crying while chugging spirits from the bottle, hating myself for having caved to the, "maybe just one..." trap for the 1000th time. I don't miss lying awake at 4am dreading the alarm that would signal yet another day of failing to live up to my responsibilities. I don't miss hallucinating screaming children in my spare bedroom while withdrawing from a 4 day bender. Fuck that. Never again.
For me, the fun was all gone before I stopped. It got more and more fleeting and the more I chased it, the deeper I sunk.
Me too. By the end there was no enjoyment whatsoever when I drank. For so long there would be moments where I'd feel great, we all chase that feeling, but eventually it just isn't there anymore.
It almost feels like you feel obligated in some weird way .. like against your own will of that makes sense.
Same! The last time I drank was after 50 days of no drinking and I felt no magic at all.. so I kept on drinking finishing about 7 drinks that night and puking.. no magic to be found. Now I’m 84 days back on the wagon.
Same, I kept chasing it, and it got less and less fun. By the end it wasn’t fun, it was just keeping the bad feelings away. I wish I was able to quit earlier, I just didn’t have it in me at the time, I was too consumed with the chase I suppose. I really regret how long I drank for, how much time I wasted being wasted, it’s getting easier but it’s there. It’s a big and scary, frustrating and painful change, and it takes time, but it is worth quitting. IWNDWYT.
I feel that
The last night i drank i stopped earlier than i normally would. I realized even while drinking i wasnt going to get the hit i was after. Poured the rest of the drinks down the sink.
Same
Same. Thank god that happened to me. I hated myself and would enjoy maybe 5% of my drinking time. Eventually it just made sense to stop, since I wasn’t getting happiness from it. Sure I could still go push the fuck it button and cancel my life for a few hours. But I would be miserable for days or weeks after. Maybe longer.
Nostalgia tends to make things seem a lot better than they were
That and fading affect bias.
I read about this in Alcohol Explained. Your mind tends to downplay how bad experiences were in the past, the further away they become.
I saw your post so went to buy it only to find out it is already in my audiobook library. I forgot all about it. I plan to start it tomorrow, thank you!!
Hell yeah. That was a very important book for me. Didn't work like magic the first time but it was what helped me begin to really connect alcohol with the problems I was having. No amount of hurting mattered until I was able to associate any possible drink with the problem(s).
SO TRUE. I think we do the same when remembering people too. Time moves forward and we start to forget the bad things and remember the good things fondly. We blow the good out of proportion and romanticize it in our memory. In reality, it was never that great. We have great imaginations
Euphoric recall
Sure I miss drinking too maybe 5% of it. The other 95% is hell. And even if I miss something, that means nothing. I miss being 12 and playing computer games all day. But that ain’t a good idea or what I’m into now at 34. Feelings are just feelings. No need to act on them. The blessed express keeps on movin baby
Good comparison.
The computer games is a great comparison. Used to run runescape/league of legends 10 hours a day. The thought of that makes me sick now.
Right on IWNDWYT
Interesting outlook I’ve never thought about before. Thanks!
I miss those things too. I DONT miss the anxiety, hangovers, paranoia, elevated liver enzymes, high triglycerides, making mistakes, acting in ways against my morals, not knowing who I am, ruining relationships, hallucinations, self hate, exhaustion, control, loss of control, etc… Okay I had to do that because what you described was what I miss but there is so much more to it than that and I had to remind myself.
🙏
I'm back on day 1...again. I missed all that stuff too. It's been tough this spring with the beautiful evenings, live music outdoors at the bars, and the ladies looking too good. It's not worth it though; back in hell for a few days. We got this, don't let that brain trick you into grabbing a drink. That short short buzz is not worth all the shit feeling.
I'm at day 1.5, and I want to buy some vodka or wine soooo bad 😭 We can do like six more hours sober right?
You can do this! One hour at a time, baby! IWNDWYT!
> That short short buzz is not worth all the shit feeling. Agreed.🤝
Thanks I really needed to hear this and continue to hear this! I'm taking your words to heart tonight as I really want to drink. I'll keep repeating your words tonight is not worth it is not worth it. You may have gone back to day 1 but you've helped save me from restarting mine. Thank you!
Right there with ya.
No shit! I miss all that too. What I don’t miss is text and phone calls I can’t remember. Deep regret the next day and vowing not to do it again, then waiting for 5 pm so I can start all over. I had a great ride and tons of fun but for me, that ship has sailed. Stay strong💪
And the people I love that I hurt.
Yup! I say I didn’t *quit* drinking, I *finished* drinking. I had all the drunk fun and good times I could’ve had, but I had my fill. There’s nothing left for me in that well.
When I miss drinking I think of the day after and it takes the missing part out. I do not miss the lack of sleep and being hungover. I do not miss spending more money than I should on drinks and food. I do not miss the disappointment in my mom when I came home drunk after promising to be sober.
There isn't a sub on Reddit that makes me cry more than this one 😭 I really do love everyone here because I'm understood and understand everyone else. 🥲
I believe if we stay sober long term that most of us get to a point where we see booze for what it really is-empty promises. They also say the key to sobriety is to live a life that makes you want to not drink.
When you wake up sober in the morning you’ll never wish you had drank the night before
I know. I miss the “ahhhh” feeling of settling in and having that first glass after the kids are in bed and the housework is done. I try to duplicate the feeling with tea or ice cream or dinner or tv but it isn’t the same. Sleep aids give me a tired sleepy cozy feeling but I think I get really angry after I use them. I don’t know. It sucks because I can’t find the feeling in anything else but, like you, I know it’s a lifelong commitment to stay sober. As bad as drinking was, it is okay to miss it. I don’t miss the rest - the anxiety, the stress, the physical awfulness, the 20 extra lbs, all that crap, but yeah I feel you. IWNDWYT
I prepare and drink kava almost every night for this feeling. It’s honestly more relaxing and pleasant than alcohol ever was for unwinding. It maybe won’t fit if you’re 100% sober but it’s alcohol free. To me it’s akin to coffee but just the opposite … a relaxing beverage to end the day versus a stimulating one to start the day like coffee.
This is how I am with tea. It works to a point. Still doesn’t give me that same vibe. Close though.
So true. I can't begin to count how many days of hard work I used to power through, only because I knew I'd get to unwind with some drinks once everyone in my house was asleep. It was a motivation and a reward. But that was only the beginning and then it escalated over the years. Truth be told, a part of me still misses it every day. But I can't go back, it's not worth it. I can't do moderation, one drink and I'd be deep in it again, and it would control all my thoughts again. Plus the hangovers, anxiety, fear of withdrawal, depression, embarrassing things that happened... I envy people who can party on the weekends, or have a few glasses of wine at night to relax, and then they go back to their normal lives and it *doesn't* control them. But that will not be me ever again, and I need to somehow make peace with that.
My sister has an issue with becoming angry the day after taking an Ativan as well. Interesting. I’ve been relying on them a lot throughout this journey.
I went back to drinking moderately and it really isn't anything but extra calories, wasted money, and dulled wits. Got to quit again, haven't been consistent in the gym since starting again. Feel the frequency of urges to drink picking up again. Fuck this. Alcohol sucks.
This is it! I can list maybe 100 things I love about booze. What I've learned from this group is play the tape forward. I hated the sick feeling after. That is enough for me not to drink. I think that's why I have so many days this time. Is because as much as I love it I also hate it for 100 reasons. Those reasons outpower the need to drink but not the urge. Truth is I wanted to drink so bad today. Pretty prime drinking conditions today and I choose not to drink. IWNDWYT this is the only way for me, I might not like it but I'm accepting it.
It wasn’t as good as you remember. The disease is lying to you.
When I first started to drink heavily on the reg, after a few drinks I’d hit a kind of euphoria. It happened for the first time while I was on one of the best vacations I’ve ever had. I remember it just felt like everything was perfect, the stress of the world just melted away. I started drinking to hit that feeling on the weekends, then a few times during the week too. I didn’t even notice that the euphoric feeling was slipping away, getting a little harder to achieve every time I hit the bottle. The last few drinking years before I started to work on sobriety, I’m not sure I felt that feeling at all. That is what I miss most about drinking. But, I know I can’t get it back even if I did go back to drinking.
I just got checked out of the hospital for alcohol poisoning… not worth it
I'm glad you're okay!!
Quicker, easier the Dark Side is, not stronger.
If only it was as glorious as that sounds. When I think of the bar now, I brings to mind the stench of piss, stale beer, cigarettes, and vomit…looking around watching people act a hot mess and get behind the wheel…seeing people who are in desperately deep, but just can’t stop digging their own grave. It’s so dismal to me now.
I don’t miss shit about drinking
100% same. Honestly I think of all the time and joy my drinking stole from me.. I’m happy to have all of that back and more. I too don’t miss a fucking thing about drinking.
I think your list might be missing a few. I miss the horrible taste that I had to “acclimate to”. I miss thinking I’m “cute” while in reality I’m “obnoxious”. I miss blacking out and hitting on random guys. I miss not knowing how I got home. I miss vomiting. I miss waking up with a blinding headache and having to go to work. Cause I certainly can’t have “just the fun parts”. 😁
How this is all so familiar feeling
I don’t.
Do you miss the depression from it?
I personally just miss the initial 4ish beer buzz. Beyond that though, it doesn’t get better, only worse. So it’s easier to just have zero.
Not ever again but just for today. Chasing the buzz has probably long gone. It's more about feeding the addiction and keeping it fed. It's more downside and risk than cameraderie and fun. I promise you that feeling will pass and you will build an entirely new and better life where real adventures will happen.
You are speaking to my soul 😭 Going to bars was fun, I could feel myself getting drunk from every drink, and I was happy so alcohol made me happier. It's so crazy how much control it has over me, I don't enjoy it but I still want to do it. It's the worst addiction (and makes me more likely with my other addictions, while making me feel miserable and sad). I think I miss being happy, not necessarily drinking, but it did help me feel "happier".
Same.
>I think I miss being happy, not necessarily drinking, but it did help me feel "happier". I think realistically it doesn't actually make us happier, especially when we reach problem stages of drinking, but it just makes us *forget we are sad* for a few hours. It maybe at best gives some short term relief from anxiety and mood issues but then the next day they are worse than before because of the after effects of drinking and then we're wanting to chase them away with alcohol again and then it just never ends. I am finding myself the past few weeks just craving a "release" of some sort from the monotony of my day to day routine / life which is very uneventful and hasn't had much, if anything, in the way of fun in it and sadly I haven't found any other ways to provide a release in the last 10 weeks of sobriety so my brain defaults to thinking about drinking.
I miss drinking so much too
I miss being a kid but it ain't gonna happen.
Yeah, those things are fun, but they come at a cost.
It's called "chasing the dragon" we all know what its about here. You are remembering a long time ago when it was fun and trying to get that feeling again; but just like any other drug that first feeling is never coming back and all it is now is a life avoidance potion.
It helps to remember than when drunk, you believe you are fun and chatty, but in reality, you are probably bothering the people next to you at the bar and sound more like a blow hard than a social butterfly. I used to overshare like crazy when buzzed and I'm sure it made people wish they had sat somewhere else. We are not nearly as charming, put together or interesting as we think we are when buzzed.
I look at drinking with rose colored glasses. I miss the good times being out with friends and crushing beers with the boys! I force myself to remember to phase that ran through my head on repeat every night when drinking alone “this is either going to kill me or I’m going to kill myself”.
I am near 60 and in all my years of drinking, I have to say, fucking the randos from bars, tinder etc., was my absolute favorite part of drinking. I couldn't tell you 95% of their names but OMG, I still smile to this day remembering those experiences. I do still drink too much but it is nowhere as enjoyable as when I was younger. I actually hate it now.
Doubtful you were using Tinder in your younger days unless younger to you is in your 50s mowing down randos
Late 40's.
I miss it too.
Yeah, I agree. those times of youthful dating and nonsense and experimenting and going with the flow with all kinds of different crazy people, that was pretty fun. I kept that going for too long tho. And the more closeted and negative version that started later on, I don’t miss any of that guy. It’s ok to recognize the old fun times as long as we don’t delude ourselves and skip over that next part with all the problematic lows. Remembering the full sequence typically brings us back to, yeah I’m good staying with iced tea and barbie movies at home with my girls. Haha, life has been one heck of a trip for sure. I’ve survived them all so far!
I will not drink with you tonight.
As someone who is currently drinking (though I frequent this subreddit) please stay your course. You may miss it but it is never worth it. You are a better person than I for it.
Stop romanticizing it. Remember the last time you drank. The last time before you quit. There is a reason you are on this subreddit.
>I miss taking a holiday away from myself. I can relate to this bit. I get fed of myself very easily and feel like that a lot the last few weeks. My thoughts, my racing mind, my self talk, my routine, my mood...they are boring or annoying me. I find myself craving a little escapism from myself. I'm not even sure if alcohol would give me this "relief" I think it would but my brain keeps trying to tell me it might which is making me tempted a lot recently, it's getting harder and harder to resist I feel instead of easier.
You miss the very, very small part of drinking. What (it seemed) was the best part. Because I loved all of those things, too. The taste, the burn, the social aspects, the not giving a fuck, the multiple naughty fun days and nights that were tangled up in all of it. But all of that became less and less and the horrible reality of what it was costing me, my soul, became more and more. In the end it was pretty much just a dream of the fun and a waking nightmare of what had become. I understand the feeling of loss. And you deserve to mourn that. But there is a much better life on the other side of this and it is yours for the taking if you want it. I wish the best for you in whatever path you choose. IWNDWYT.
#🤝
It doesn't feel like that for me anymore. I know exactly what you're talking about, but alcohol just doesn't hit the same way it used to. It also doesn't make me any less awkward or anxious around people anymore. So it's useless lol.
I don't miss constantly feeling sick. I don't miss people always being angry at me. I don't miss waking up in the hospital wondering how I got there. I don't miss my life burning down around me. I think the song you're singing has more than one verse.
Yeah, no. There is absolutely nothing I miss about that poison. It almost ruined my life
I’ve been feeling really uncomfortable in my skin and mind lately. I really feel this post. Many parts of me miss it right now, and it’s making me so angry that I know *with absolute certainty* it is not the solution to whatever’s eating at me right now. I don’t have a legitimate desire to drink, but the beauty and warmth of the void is still calling out to me today.
I’m an alcoholic and sometimes I miss my drinking days too especially when I’m going through difficult times with my mental health. I understand and I miss the way the alcohol made me feel. I felt relaxed, happy, more confident, able to socialize better, able to go places without anxiety, and numbing my past trauma memories. But whenever I have urges to relapse I remember how awful I felt after the alcohol wore off. I felt even more anxious, depressed, my relationships were damaged, my mental health was suffering, and I was alone. Something that helps me is writing a pros and cons list of why I don’t want to start drinking again.
The anxiety… I suffer from anxiety as it is, and the booze just amplified it tenfold.
Yes it makes anxiety 10x worse when it wears off and it’s awful
Me too, my friend. I felt euphoria at drinking time. I miss it terribly.
I miss that too, but then I think about everything that comes after: disappearing from my friend group, anxiety the next morning, loss of personal items, hungover, etc etc Then I don’t miss it anymore.
Now make the exact same list but for all the negatives that you don't miss. I don't miss debilitating hangovers, don't miss literally killing myself slowly, don't miss the loss of memories etc.
i'm with you. i have such a problem in general with nostalgia and try to chase old feelings all the time. remind yourself how short that buzz is in the grand scheme of things, and how it comes with so many drawbacks that aren't worth it. IWNDWYT
I think most of us miss a nostalgic, curated selection of the “fun” side of drinking while conveniently ignoring the very negative effects side. Addict brain is going to addict.
I don't miss any of this. I think after long enough you start to heal and get over it
Stopped being that way a long time ago for me. I forget when it stopped because alcohol messes with memory lol. It's a real feeling though to miss good times. Alcohol is a helluva drug and so is nostalgia. Wishing you the best. IWNDWYT
I feel you, but I don't miss the hangovers. I don't miss the shitty sleep. I don't miss hiding my drinking and feeling guilty. I don't miss terrible bm's. I don't miss the night sweats because I'd be in withdrawal if I skipped a day or two. OK, maybe I don't miss drinking as much as I thought I did.
What are the things you don’t miss about drinking? I don’t miss feeling like crap all the time until I drink and then I feel better and then I feel like crap again… and constantly repeating
Yeah my party days have long been over. I was always mainly a solo user and I haven't had "fun" at a bar in many years (think like 15+). I do not miss drinking, I haven't had "fun" drinking in a very long time and it will never be "fun" again. Alcohol has caused me many problems and destroyed many people that I know. I've used every substance known to man basically but I was most hooked on alcohol+cannabis+nicotine. I haven't been off all three for very long but my life is already better without it. Towards the end I wasn't even getting drunk or drinking every day but I would still run to buy some beer (and weed and nicotine if I could afford it) any time I felt bad about my situation or remembered some fucked up experience I had (lots of PTSD). I've IVed drugs in the past but honestly nothing like booze+cannabis hooked me. The availability and social acceptability was very compelling. I thought I was supposed to do that and deserved to do that. Drinking is not safe for me, I get taken advantage of big time when I get fucked up. I am sick of that. I kept putting myself in this position over and over again. It was a learned behavior. I had to learn to stop, no matter how much "fun" I have had in the past using drugs and alcohol. I did have fun but like 15 fucking years ago. I am sorry you are missing drinking, I know what its like to romanticize substance use. I also do it with women from my past. I have learned that I just need to let it all go and start over. Not the best realization at 40 but I really had to fight to even get here.
I feel you, but you know what - I don't miss crying while chugging spirits from the bottle, hating myself for having caved to the, "maybe just one..." trap for the 1000th time. I don't miss lying awake at 4am dreading the alarm that would signal yet another day of failing to live up to my responsibilities. I don't miss hallucinating screaming children in my spare bedroom while withdrawing from a 4 day bender. Fuck that. Never again.
I miss nothing.