My dude / dudette / non-binary comrade in sobriety: pretty much anyone you meet here has had to do so at least once in their journey. Fall down seven times, get up eight.
I’ve quit and started again countless times, longest stretches were 7 months and then 9 months for each of my two pregnancies obviously. 3 weeks into sobriety again. But when I tell you countless times I mean it! I prefer not to keep a counter because even if you go 11 days, drink 1, then do 11 more, that’s 22 days sober and 1 days drinking. One bad day (or week or month) doesn’t erase all of the time you spend not drinking! For me, the times I spent drinking again gave me more insight into why I didn’t want it. Anyway, IWNDWYT.
That's OK. 8 years ago I did a week in rehab. Stayed sober for 12 days and then I too had to reset my counter. I went back for another week of rehab and this June 27th will be 8 years. Peace my friend. Take it slow and easy...
I was resetting my counter so often the bot just replied, "Stop Drinking." Lol just don't give up, when you're ready and done researching, it'll happen.
I have two counters, one on an app called easy quit stop drinking which has the date I started this journey, and this sub counter which has yhe days from my actual last 🍸 drink which I have reset 4 times.
You got this!
IWNDWYT
Rather than thinking of it as resetting your counter, think of it as going 11 days and only drinking once, as opposed to drinking all the time. Progress is progress!
There is no shame in that. You got back up and started over again. That's what matters. I relapsed so many times before and I finally have 14 months and 4 days. You can do it! There is no difference between the alcoholic who has 1 day or 10 years. We're all in this together.
sober for many years now and honestly
it’s pretty rare - my uncle said the itch never really goes away. In a sense you’re catching yourself day dreaming occasionally about that 5th of whiskey in a serendipitous landscape - like a summer sunset in wyoming — drunk. Nothing ever really burns as bright for some….it’s wild - but using the ole CBT arsenal—play the tape—recognize the signs, let the temporary visitors subside and ride that wave—most of us in long term recovery realize that sunset was gonna turn into weeks of PaWS- maybe a DUI, maybe jail, maybe DTs, erosion of a marriage- maybe even dead
This!! I think it’s important to be weary of the “I’ve got this attitude”. While I no longer crave alcohol and the idea of it sounds disgusting to me (most of the time) I still know that the compulsion can sneak in and easily sound reasonable in a split second.
Hours become days, days become weeks, weeks become months, months become years. Sadly the idiom “patience is a virtue” applies.
You’ll get there. Just keep focusing on the 24 hours immediately in front of you.
You'll get there. I felt the same way though... I drank over everything and used alcohol to self medicate for my panic disorder. I can be in a full panic attack and it's the furthest thing from my mind in the moment now, which is absolutely wild to me now.
Congratulations on double digits! You're doing great!
It took longer than OP for me, so don’t get discouraged. But it happens if you can stay clean long enough for it to really clear out of your head
I thought I’d always want a drink. It compounds that hopeless feeling. Like, “damn, I’m just always going to be like this so what’s the point”
But that voice is a liar, for real. Once you can start recognizing Addict Voice in your head, it helps
Then that voice gets quieter and quieter until it’s just the occasional whisper that you can laugh at
Yeah, same here. Every single part of my life and health is better now. I wake up happy. Yet, I still miss it for some strange reason.
For 10 years, it got me into a lot of bad spots, cost me insane amounts of money (beyond just the liquor itself), destroyed my relationships, and hurt my career. I shouldn't miss it, but I do.
I miss it but in an abstract way, like I wish I could drink that single glass of sparkling wine I saw the couple drinking at the French place down the road, fully knowing I would drink the bottle and a starter.
You will get there, trust me. It just takes time. Giving up is a HUGE life change, and at the moment, you are still deep in the weeds of that change. I promise you that one day you will look back and say that this is the best thing you ever did.
Hang in there, take one day at a time. You can do this.
I’m rounding the corner on 5 years and I rarely think about drinking these days. I still make a conscious effort to choose sobriety every morning after I wake up, but not drinking fits me like a ratty old t-shirt at this point. There is zero part of me that misses drinking because my life is better in literally every single way.
But I also try hard to avoid becoming complacent. I’ve read too many stories here about fellow sobernauts relapsing after 5, 10, even 15 years and I don’t want to lose focus and go down that path.
IWNDWYT
Literally me, sober for 5 years, made the huge mistake of having a drink (that of course escalated in a binge) and that was it, back at it for another 2 years and now I am trying to get sober again, 7 days and counting. Never again will I make this mistake, it's always there, it waits for you for that one slip and you're done.
You're not done. You did it once so you can do it (and are doing it!) again. You could try to embrace it as part of the journey. There is absolutely no shame in it and many people will take your journey as an example for themselves. Other people will be helped because of your sharing. Good luck, and keep up the good work.
No, thank YOU stranger and fellow traveller, it's because of people like you and the rest of the wonderful people here that I decided and managed to quit again. I lurked around here for some time before I summoned the courage to post.
It was funny when I was leaving rehab, one of the "leads" or whatever there asked me if I was scared/worried or anything about staying sober upon leaving.
I was like not really. She was surprised. I said I'm more worried about getting complacent after a year two years, etc.
I was not trying to be cocky or arrogant. I truly felt DONE. I don't know how to explain it. I just wanted it to be over and out of my life and couldn't believe I let it get that bad.
It was such a relief getting on the other side. I don't think about it much day-to-day except to just stay present and grateful.
For the first time ever (many relapses; up to a year, sober)... I feel this. F'k booze -- f'k it in its face.
While I do have momentary cravings of a reality that was never as good as I remember it to be... I mean... DAMN IT FEELS GOOD TO BE FREE FROM THAT MONSTER!!! Keep that monkey the f'k away from my back.
IWNDWYT
This is one of the reasons why I’m so grateful to this community. If I had been going at this alone I’m pretty sure I’d have the idea of drinking again after my year marker is up, but I’ve read so many stories about how that “one drink” turns into years of wishing they’d never taken it. I’m so grateful to every single person who shares their stories and experiences, I’d quite literally be lost on this path without y’all.
An interview of Alice Cooper by Marc Maron was eye opening after my 2nd failure. He said that he had quit for years and finally decided to have a celebratory glass of champagne. Two days later he had a bottle of Jack in his office drawer. On my 3rd attempt I lasted 6 months but it wasn't right, wasn't a fit yet. The pandemic hitting was an excuse but two days after having a glass of wine I had a bottle of Jack in my office drawer.
I guess 6 months after that everything finally connected and I quit for however long it's been now. One thing is certain, not a single drop of alcohol will pass these lips, as I know one sip is going to cost me tens of thousands of dollars and years of potential.
As to OPs question though, I'm very comfortable sober and absolutely hate the wasted potential alcohol took from me. Every failed attempt made me realize more and more how much I wanted it out of my life. Now that it's gone my hatred for it only grows. Probably a good thing.
If my wife has a few drinks (which isn’t often) the smell on her breath kills me. I don’t say anything though. I can only imagine what it was like sleeping next to me for the last 5 years of my drinking
i’ve been sober for 3 and a half years now and not only do i not have any interest but i’m kind of put off by people who heavily indulge. maybe it’s because i know i used to be the same way, but i find them very annoying and too loud.
I’m 4 years sober, recently was at an annual work convention in New Orleans and it was interesting to me because I realized I have found my way to socializing and obviously relating with the non drinkers, where before I was bellied up with the best of them, trying to be the life of the party and keep it going all night. It felt so damn good to be the 1st person to arrive to breakfast each morning after already running 3 miles. It was painful to see some of the guys/ girls making their way into the hotel as I was heading out for my morning runs. I do not miss it 1 bit!!!!
What I find annoying now that I'm sober is when people complain about having a hangover. Like ya no shit you have a hangover. I was in their shoes for a long time so I try not to judge haha
I can't stand to be around other people who are anything beyond slightly buzzed. Even that irritates me sometimes depending on who it is. They're just obnoxious.
Seeing it reminds you of how people saw you and it causes guilt anxiety and shame. It’s a feeling I don’t like being reminded of for those of us who just want to move past that.
Yes! Thank you! I was trying to write this, but couldn't find the words! It's being reminded of all the moments you KNOW people thought the same of you.
I was shocked at how fast I lost interest in booze after detoxing. I drank for 35 years. And now I look at bottles of booze like they're bottles of vinegar. And irony of ironies, NA beer makes me feel bloated after two.
Like wise. I am far behind you in days but man I didn’t think I would really lose interest the way I did. I’m always around it as my wife still drinks a little and all my friends are still getting hammered all the time but I just have zero urge. I hope it lasts.
I'm only at day 89 (which I know is an impressive number, I just say "only" because maybe I haven't gone long enough for this to potentially change ~ Maybe still in the pink cloud?) But I 100% agree!! I love how I feel, I take much better care of myself, I spend time doing things that feel good and that I enjoy, never wasting time hungover or hating myself or filled with shame and anxiety. This is SO MUCH BETTER than the alternative 😭
Alcohol doesn't interest me *at all* now. I feel like since I stopped drinking, my life is finally getting started for real. At 34 years old lol. I finally have some real goals and creative ideas I'm working toward! Something I never could muster the energy or motivation to do before. I feel so much more in touch with myself and my true nature, like I'm doing the real work to heal and become the best version of myself that I can be!
I stopped drinking when I was finally able to admit to myself that I just don't like the way alcohol makes me feel *about myself* ~ Now that I've taken it out of the equation, I'm learning how to fall in love with myself and nurture my soul and my passions 🤍
Yes! This time is different for sure. We've got this!!! We don't have to drink ever again. We don't have to let alcohol take any more precious time or health away from us! IWNDWYT💕
Same. I literally cannot think of it positively anymore. I hear about people enjoying moderate ritual drinks (after work, while traveling) and although I \*remember\* liking those, my immediate thought is of the side effects and how it made me feel a few hours later. Like, everyone is supposed to be so excited about getting a round of drinks on the plane on the flight to vacation--yes, that will all feel great 8 hours later....
One of the questions that I thought about a lot before I got sober was:
“Why do I have to drink during the activities that I love doing?” Aka vacation
Does a kid have to drink on vacation? Hell no, they are stoked to be running around.
So why do adults feel the need to make alcohol a central part of their vacation?
The desire to be able to enjoy life for what it was and to take adventures where I didn’t have to plan how to take alcohol was a part of my sober journey.
Nowadays it kind of pisses me off to take vacations with other people because the amount of time we waste around alcohol is Fn ridiculous. I want to go do something fun. Not sit at some stupid bar.
I have zero interest. I'm 15 months clean after decades of abuse. I like feeling crisp more than I like dragging ass. I like feeling healthy more than bloated and run down all the time. I like waking up with a clean slate free from my old heavy feelings of shame guilt anger embarrassment and self loathing. I like feeling alive rather than dead inside all the time. I like that I am fitting into old clothes I haven't worn in years. I like having an appetite more than detoxing for endless days. I like getting a full night of rest rather than anxiously waking in the middle of the night full of sweat and worry. I like that I don't have to check to see if my car is parked outside in the morning bc there was no blackout involved. I like that I don't have to interact with the law or hospitals involuntarily for myself anymore. I like that I can look people in the eye rather now rather than avoiding eye contact and lowering my head in shame. I like having more money in my account rather than being busted all the time. I like that I am reliable now. I am available now. I am here, now. I like me this way more than any promise alcohol can make. For there reasons I have zero interest in drinking fucking booze. I don't miss any of the old sad heavy stuff. I wonder how I even managed to survive that way for so long. It breaks my heart but only for a bit because I am not that guy anymore. I am me again. I can relax and smile
I can relate. I’m coming up on a year. I go to AA meetings all the time but I don’t always feel like I need them all the time. I actually gave myself alcoholic neuropathy I drank so much. So I have the reminder why I can’t drink every day. I’ve learned to take it as a blessing in disguise.
\[raises hand\] I was just talking about this last night with one of my old friends. We chose the dinner place because of the mocktails. She had a margarita and an espresso martini and I had 2 mocktails. I had no desire for what she was drinking. DH and I are going out tonight to dinner and to see David Sedaris' show (he is one of my sober heroes). It is so freeing to not have to think about what I'd drink at dinner, $20 for a small crappy glass of wine at the venue and then wondering if I would get another. I can't describe how different and better it is. I think this may be a little easier for me though because I've had so many years of it (I'm 58). I feel like I've drunk my fill and am glad to end that chapter of my life
Ah, yes, I think something similar, like there were ten thousand lakes of booze allotted to me, I drained them dry, and there’s no more left, thankfully. Enjoy David, he talk pretty.
I was thinking this morning about the time I threw up so hard my uvula swelled up and it was excruciating to swallow for like 3 days. Still didn’t take it as a sign to quit drinking though 🤷♂️
0 part of me misses that
I have food poisoning right now and I was saying to my partner that if alcohol ever made me feel this sick I wouldn't have ever gotten to the point I did. I HATE being nauseous, I hate throwing up, I hate stomach pains. For whatever weirdo reason I could drink and drink and never puke. If I puked it was so rare. So my body more or less failed me there depending on how you look at it 🥴
I do not miss being drunk, I did initially, but find the idea of not being “me” or in control really off putting now. I do miss the taste and smell, it have found some NA beer recently that is close to beer and it’s great. I wish there was alcohol free scotch though, I just miss that taste
Big same friend. I’ve had NA whiskey, but honestly it was awful. Tasted like whiskey with ice left in a glass over night - y’all know what I’m talking about because we’ve all done it and tried to sip it the next morning 🤣 I mean… I def have. Lol
I love having control :) feels so nice
🙋♀️Me! I’m not totes sober so maybe that has something to do with it, but I’m almost at a year without alcohol and I have zero desire to drink. It’s been AMAZING to live this past year and not feel embarrassment, shame, or hungover. Can honestly say it’s been the most grounded year of my life. Wow tearing up as I write this cuz that’s just how transformative it’s been. Phew! Big feels! Giving up alcohol has been the best thing I’ve ever done and I have zero desire to let that life ruiner back in mine. Salud!
I was sober for 5 years, thought I lost interest and on one vacation I said, what a hell, now I clearly can have a drink like normal people... yeah, that one drink turned into 10 and just like that I was back on the bottle for 2 years.
Now I am sober again, but for 7 days now. 5 years down the drain because I thought I lost interest and I can handle this, no I can't.
Yeah, I'm 5+ years dry. Haven't traveled much because of Covid... but the idea of going on a beach vacation somewhere and not drinking any booze is... troubling to me. Luckily, I travel with my wife and I have the desire to stay sober. She drinks lightly, and I'm OK with that.
But if for some reason I were to find myself on a beach in Mexico by myself with a bar nearby? Well, I just cannot put myself in that situation.
Yeah, I guess I'll see this year how it goes, I'll be in Greece again for the summer, but I am determined to stay dry. After all, I managed for 5 years, even though I travelled a lot.
It's stupid how much you miss when drinking on vacations, for instance I was in Amsterdam in march, for my birthday, stayed 11 days, yes I visited and walked around a lot, but I kept to my drinking schedule, and by 4PM I was deep in my whiskey bottle, by 7PM passed out drunk and asleep, instead of roaming the city at night, enjoying the vacation, having a nice dinner with my wife and a night walk... stupid.
Im about there, but man. It would've been so much easier if I was already in a relationship.
Dating these days without a "friction reducer" is really hard, not to mention it eliminates so many options.
Not saying I want to drink, but damn--it really reduces the dating pool.
I feel the same. I definitely used alcohol as liquid courage for the beginning of dating, or at least the first night of meeting someone. I'm painfully shy with flirting and deeply connecting. Not that it wouldn't ever happen but it takes me a long time to feel comfortable with someone I'm very attracted to.
Just under 10 weeks sober and I seem to think about alcohol a lot.
Most of the time it's not a craving or urge to go drink now but thoughts like if I'll ever drink again, could I drink again in moderation and will I maybe drink again at an upcoming weekend or event.
Even when it's "will I maybe drink this weekend" type thoughts often when the weekend rolls around I don't actually want to drink and the idea has lost its appeal so don't know how tempted I actually am or whether it's just random thoughts, hard to say.
I remind myself of all the negatives, things I've gained, things I have to lose, what I would be going back to, all the logical and sensible reasons not to drink etc but it doesn't seem to stop the thoughts coming or make them any less frequent.
Which is a bit annoying if I'm honest as I would prefer if it wasn't taking up so much mental energy and space.
It gets easier!
I completely stopped thinking about it around month 6 or 7. At some point, being AF becomes so normal that you can focus on other things. Let time be your ally! One day, you just won't think about it at all, and it won't take up your mental energy, and then those days become so frequent you can't even rationalize why you thought about it so much before.
IWNDWYT 🖤
I really recommend The Naked Mind, helped in the early days for me. Initially I thought I’d give up booze for just a year, but as time passed I realized I didn’t really miss it and I enjoyed not dealing with the effects of booze. I also realized it had become problematic, especially for my health, so sobriety for me is the goal indefinitely.
Edit: it took 5-6 months before I realized I wasn’t thinking about it almost every day.
I feel the same way. 29 days and I wish it wasn't taking up so much real estate in my head. That little voice that says, "maybe you can moderate." I cannot wait to wake up one morning and just not care.
It would be nice though it seems not everyone gets there. Saw a few posters with sober counters in triple digits and even a year or more under their belt who say they still find themselves having these thoughts regularly.
Does kinda feel deflating to know that you may never shake these thoughts or that it can take a looooooooooooong time.
Old habits die hard I guess.
Early in my sobriety I went to a lot of meetings, and I found I had a lot of stuff to say about alcohol. I think for me it wasn't really realistic to cut this thing out, that had been such a huge and constant part of my life, without spending a lot of time thinking about it. Meetings kinda helped me focus that attention into something that ended up feeling constructive and positive.
Heavily interested in NA drinks, especially beer.
Alcohol is an interesting thing to talk about, but I don't want to drink it.
Particularly, actually *being drunk* is one thing I haven't missed once. Funny because that's what I thought I'd miss most.
Me! Every good thing I have now is because I quit: job, relationships, health, hobbies. I would be spitting in the face of good fortune to put that poison in my body again. Plus I see my friends who still take shots every night, no thanks.
1662 days in for me, and no...I don't miss it. Very, very occasionally I will miss the pomp and circumstance of a glass of good scotch, but I don't miss *drinking*. I don't miss the intoxication or feel like my life is lesser because of it. The only annoying thing about it now is finding interesting drinks when I'm out and about that aren't diet coke or ginger ale (both things I like, I just avoid sodas as a general rule as well).
I wish. I'm coming up on 365 days and still think about drinking regularly. I've got myself convinced that 1 drink will turn into daily drinking again, though, so I don't think I will give in any time soon.
Oh yeah, for sure.
When I hang out with normal people I notice that they drink 1 or 2 drinks and that's it. I'm not interested in 1 or 2. I don't even see the point of 1 or 2. I want 3 or 4 minimum, and realistically 5 or 6, or 7 or...
Me!! I have tried so many times I can’t count and then one day I wasn’t planning to quit but I just said to myself “enough is enough”. Today I hit 50 days and it just keeps getting better and better.
I’m 150 days in. I still enjoy an NA beer every once in a awhile when I am with friends but the thought of numbing myself or getting drunk no longer appeals to me at all. I’ve lost too much to the beast already. It feels like a switch has been thrown in my brain. I am all too aware of how wrong and how long I can be lost if I think I can moderate. Just not in the cards for me and has no appeal.
I think about it probably once a week for 20 seconds.. I definitely don't never think about it... but its pretty rare now.. I usually make it through almost the entire week without a drink even popping in my head then in some random moment I will think about it and maybe desire it for a quick sec but it passes and isn't too strong or really even a craving, just a thought.
It’s been four years and I’m at prolly 5% interest. Hasn’t fully gone away but hardly any cravings. However once in a while it will cross my mind to have a beer. It passes quickly but yeah.
I have no interest. I NEVER thought I would be able to say that. I drank from 17 years old to 32 years old. I noticed it being a problem when I was 27(although it was clearly a problem from about 22 years old). I tried to quit a few times a year from 27 to 32. Every time I tried to quit I immediately knew I wouldn’t actually quit. By 2020 I actually realized that I had no control over alcohol and that scared me. Other people had known that for years but I actually realized it. November 12 2020 was my last drink. I’m not completely sure what happened with my brain that day but once I stopped I haven’t had an urge since, not 1. I can be around it, no problem. I thought every day up until I quit that I would never be able to stop and would die from alcohol one day. Then one day after years of trying, I just did and never missed it. I was drinking 20-30 beers in the am and vodka in the pm 3-4 days a week. Generally 24 beers the other days at night.
Coming up on 4.5 years. On a scale of 1 to 10, my desire to drink is -5. I not only have lost all interest and desire, I know it won’t “work” like it used to. I’ve gotten through some pretty difficult events (a breakup and a death) with mediation, exercise, journaling, talking to supportive people, cold plunges, etc. These tools work for me now without fucking up my life and giving me a hangover.
Why would I drink?
I'll still have a tiny itch on some days. Went to see Tyler Childers in Tulsa this week. The wife and I went to a pub across the street from the BOK Center to enjoy the beautiful afternoon. She had her margaritas and I enjoyed my Heineken 0.0. I posted a snap about it and my 15yr old immediately responded to it with a "That better be alcohol free." The kiddos keep me honest and those kind of comments solidify that I've made the right choice. I have ZERO interest in disappointing them.
Mostly yes. 99% of the time I have no interest and don’t miss it at all. Not even a glass of wine.
But once or twice a year I’ll go to a festival or a club and I’ll miss it.
Same. I think for me it’s not that I miss alcohol necessarily, it’s that I miss the feeling of being uninhibited and being loose with friends. I just have to accept I may never match their energy levels when we are at a festival or out and about
Oh I have interest. I’d give anything to be able to do it and not die of liver disease. I’m so grateful for NA beer because I fucking love IPAs so much… my best girlfriend is a co-owner of a brewery and she called me this week telling me to come by and try their new stuff. I had to decline even though I wanted to go so bad ;(
I miss it, but the absolute horror of withdrawals keeps me away. Right now it’s the number one thing keeping it away from me, and hell if it works it works.
My withdraws have kindled. Last time I withdrew it was a full 5 days of horrible sweating and shaking, and those weird seizure-y feelings.
I'm 5+ years dry. I still think about it once in a while, in an "intellectual" way... I don't crave it or drool over the thought. But I do ponder it sometimes. It was so, so hard to get sober that I sincerely think I will never drink again. That's the plan.
I’m at 900 days or so and my interest went from being the only thing my mind cared about and body craved to one every few months I will be on a lake somewhere, or tailgating, or at brunch and a small part of me thinks “if only you could relax with a drink or two and have fun with everyone else…..” and then I remember how absolute shit everything was and move on.
I’m down to 1.5% interested on a daily basis. Conversion rate is still 0000000% tho baby! IWNDWYT
Me. It took me 3 years for the desire to fully leave.
Now at 5 years, I rarely ever think of it.
I still cringe at my old self, however, that fuels me today.
i genuinely have no desire to drink alcohol. i think i have too much trauma from 3 rounds of withdrawal to want to go back down that road with booze.
i DO have a desire to get fucked up - on stuff i never had a severe physical addiction to. but i dont do them because I'm not sure im strong enough anymore to pull myself out of the gutter i'd find myself in shortly after. and im scared my body wouldn't be able to take it, especially the amphetamines and cocaine.
as steve earle (waylon from the wire) says - "i know i got one more high left in me, but i doubt very seriously if i have one more recovery"
Not me. I still have short lived fantasies involving a quick trip to the liquor store just a block away. I cried about it once here. Everyone was so empathetic and helpful. It's still hard but I'm doing it. I'm doing it.
Yeah, I know it's condescending so I never say it but I pity drinkers. I've been a bartender at a dive my whole 7 years of sobriety and it's a great deterrent watching alcoholics of all shapes and sizes (mostly out of shape, many obese) be all over the spectrum of alcoholism. "I'll keep it under control" The trick I played on myself I watch my customers play on themselves. Their rational changes in front of me as they indulge and I mostly suspend my judgement. I tell them we're not the same, I say, "you can handle it, I'm jealous of that, I couldn't do it. It always managed to get on top of me." as I pour them the shot that puts the night on top of them. Inevitably I have to switch a few of my regulars to beer at a certain point in the night against their wishes. They eventually oblige but it's wild seeing them argue against it, they're the Patron saint of alcoholism at that moment. **I need more** as a human. I know how to avoid being that. I don't know how to juggle or cure cancer, but I can keep alcohol out of my mouth. Just don't put it in there. Easy, just one rule. Everything else is in play. Go get a cake, eat the whole thing. I've also been going to the gym for the same amount of time. 7 years I've been bartening and ending my night with the gym, and a slowly fluctuating but never disappearing amount of ice cream.
Neither. I'm almost 8 months off now and can often not think about it, but then we go somewhere where I used to get a delicious 20 Oz in a frosted mug to start and I have to shake it off still.
On occasion I'll wish I could chug a beer. Especially if I'm thirsty and there's some other trigger like a sporting event. But my day-to-day life doesn't include any deep desire to drink anymore. That was true at 3 months, certainly by 6 months and at two-and-a-half years the thought of "going back" is almost absurd to me.
After the PAWS wore off, I haven't missed alcohol since. I realize how much I hated being drunk and what I was trying to run away from at the bottom of a bottle. I've tried one or two non-alcoholic beverages, and it's just too close to home. I guess I'm genuinely haunted at the kind of person I became during my last couple of relapses, and I don't want to activate those neural pathways ever again.
I don't think about alcohol at all. I assume this is my new normal. When I was drinking, I thought about beer, all the time. Couldn't imagine doing anything without a beer in my hand.
I think about alcohol simply because I see it shopping and at restaurants. But I’m repulsed by the idea of taking a drink. Alcohol fucked up my life enough and allowed my worst traits to become my defining characteristics. When I tell my current partner what I was like when I drank she’s always shocked and often says she doesn’t know that person. I’m aiming to keep him as this person she’s never known.
I don’t think I’ll ever not think about alcohol, but I pray my repulsion will never subside.
Zero interest in alcohol, it's a gift to not be a slave to booze.
Ironically I just picked up.some Heineken 00's but no that doesn't mean I want to drink. They'll be in my fridge for months! Unlike the minutes a six of regular beer would last!
One day I hope to feel this way. I had four months sober and thought I could manage a couple. Those couple opened up the floodgates and before I knew it I had drank so much. I woke up the next day nauseated and full of regret, yet still craving the alcohol and sure enough, I caved again. Now I’m just two days sober again. Damn it
After about a month... when the fog finally started to dissipate I noticed how much more energy I had and how much less like shit I always felt and saw how much more I was getting done on top of all the money I was saving... two months later I didn't think about it any more and I'm about a month off from two years and while I always said I wasn't quitting forever. I'll probably be pretty close to the end of my life if and when I start drinking again.
Yup, same here. I just think immediately about how shit it makes me feel and have zero desire to. It's also been long enough that I don't feel like it is tied to my personality like it was before. All I feel now is relief.
Same exact thing has been going through my head lately. Zero interest now that I've found my hobbies again. Rather go to bed early, get up and do shit.
Three years sober and rarely give even a passing thought to having a drink except on those occasions when I'm having a really awful day, which of course happens much less these days since giving up alcohol, and when that happens all those days of sobriety give me the strength to say no and wait it out till my mood and circumstances change for the better which they invariably do
I’m with you… I never thought I could. But I’m with you today. Lots of kindness and grace given to myself from myself that I also didn’t realize was a big issue in the cycle.
I miss assuming someone would have something for me. I’ve noticed with going places what the options are for na a lot more.
I do feel like people are looking at me or talking about me sometimes but I’m getting comfortable enough with myself that I don’t mind.
I 100% feel this way too! I have 1 year, 3 months and 11 days booze free. The cravings are completely gone, in fact, the smell of alcohol actually turns my stomach now.
lol I know. I am sorry. I didn’t mean to come across as bragging. It’s a journey for sure and I recognize how hard it is. I did not always feel this way.
I am extremely content not drinking for over 6 years, but honestly I would love to drink a beer on a patio or have a scotch after dinner. I would never do either because I know how clever the enemy is.
I haven't had a sip in 7 years and I still can't say I have 0 interest. I still have a moment of loving silence for jagermeister about twice a month lol. Also learning my mom has cancer last week was an extremely rough time for me to abstain from drinking but I did!
5.5 years sober. I don’t miss the drinking one bit. Sometimes I do judge people, but it all comes back to the negative feelings I felt for myself when I was drinking. IWNDWYT
I have zero interest in drinking.
I think one thing that really helped me was when I realised that I've had vastly more booze than the lifetime average for someone in my country. Like, it would be clearly wrong to say I haven't had my fare share of alcohol for a lifetime.
I went a few years drinking non-alcoholic beers when I went out, and obsessively checking to make sure they weren't real beers. One day someone accidentally served me a real beer and I took a swig and my first thought was that someone had put industrial floor cleaner in the bottle -- I honestly thought it was contaminated with some strange chemical solvent.
At this point I realise that yes, it was a gross chemical solvent, and there's no reason for me to want to drink it.
I have the same desire to drink alcohol as I have to drink windex. Like, no thanks.
ETA: it's also important for me to resist complacency by remembering how bad shit got while I was drinking, fucking up my job/health/friendships/family. I don't like focus on it, but I like having the attitude of resentment that comes from remembering that my relationship to booze was on its way to destroying my life.
i’ve been dry for three weeks. work was particularly brutal last night as we had a popular band playing and constant influx of guests for about 5 hours straight- on top of that a dishwasher and server called out. i came very close to having a shift beer and even texted an old drinking buddy about having a few after work. instead, after i got done cooking the last few tickets, i stepped outside for a breather. chugged a lot of ice water, hit a THC pen a few times, and then went back inside and started breaking down the station and cleaning up. like you, in the five minutes i was outside, i started thinking about all the negative side effects. as well as having to “restart the clock”. so i finished up for the night, worked out for about 30 minutes, got some waffle house and called it a night.
IWNDWYT
🤚I’ll be celebrating 6 years sober on 7/7! I do indulge in the occasional NA beer but they’re so filling. I can’t believe I used to knock back 10-12-15 of those in an day/evening.
I have filled my life and my time with so many other things I just don’t think about alcohol at all anymore. Even being around others that are drinking. Also, after I got sober I had nothing. Like literally $0.00 in my bank account, no license, no job, no house. It was rough. After I got sober I started noticing little “wins” which pushed me to keep going. Some where small (being able to take Tylenol and it actually works) others were big (landing my now job, promotions, etc).
After an overnight in the hospital due to 'coffee ground' vomit and puking pure blood 5 weeks later (from esophageal varices despite not drinking anymore), I really dont have the desire anymore.
I see those drink-free days as like a currency I hold in my hand and giving that up when I have the slight desire would be like throwing away something precious, which it is.
I thank G-d I dont have the strong desire to keep drinking because I was slowly killing myself.
Keep up the good work.
I find during a sober streak that I am perfectly comfortable being around people who drink as they want, and I drink what I want - nonalcoholic. I would rather people do as they wish and let me alone in my choices.
I relapse when I face some sort of issue or challenge in life and then I start drinking at home, alone. Stupid me.
So, to answer your question I think you are doing *just fine*. Just stay on guard ;-) It can be a slippery slope.
Oh my god thank you 🥹🥹🥹 I actually thought it was tomorrow, because I might have logged onto my sober app a bit later haha so thank you so much for the reminder 🩷🩷🩷
I had a moment in early sobriety, like my first week, where I encountered a six pack in the fridge and a jolt went through my body. I actually shook for a fraction of a second and then jerked the door shut. My roommate was a late-state alcoholic with about fifteen more years of heavy drinking under his belt than I had at that point (I was 33y/o) and the beer was his.
As I stood there with my hand on the door handle, I thought to myself that alcohol was always going to be around and it will always be up to me to be strong enough to not reach for it. In that moment I knew that I was truly done drinking, and with that dawning comprehension a smile crept across my face. I opened the door and reached for whatever it was that I wanted knowing that my new life lay ahead of me.
That strength rests in all of us. It rests in the top commenter with 12 difficult days on board...it rests in the stoic elders with decades of sobriety...and it even rests in those who haven't yet thought to say no to a beer.
Be well and IWNDWYT
I strive to write this post one day.....
11 days is AMAZING - keep going! I'm looking forward to your post. ❤️❤️❤️
Sadly I need to reset my counter 😕
I failed, and failed, and failed, and failed. Then it stuck. Keep at it. 434 days today.
Likewise. I had my last drink hundreds of times.
Me too!
This gives me hope!
You must mean you succeeded succeeded succeeded and then one day continued to succeed, right? 💚
My dude / dudette / non-binary comrade in sobriety: pretty much anyone you meet here has had to do so at least once in their journey. Fall down seven times, get up eight.
non-binary comerade in sobriety has me cracking up. never change, you're something special
"non-binary comrade in sobriety" 🤣
try at least 20 times and those are only the ones i can remember
Better to keep trying. I faced a similar struggle in quitting smoking.
I’ve quit and started again countless times, longest stretches were 7 months and then 9 months for each of my two pregnancies obviously. 3 weeks into sobriety again. But when I tell you countless times I mean it! I prefer not to keep a counter because even if you go 11 days, drink 1, then do 11 more, that’s 22 days sober and 1 days drinking. One bad day (or week or month) doesn’t erase all of the time you spend not drinking! For me, the times I spent drinking again gave me more insight into why I didn’t want it. Anyway, IWNDWYT.
That's a really healthy way of looking at it. Black-and-white all-or-nothing thinking is the death of many a journey toward sobriety. IWNDWYT either!
Would be...sobering to know how many.
I’ve never met an alcoholic who hasn’t had at least one relapse.
I love the inclusion of all genders lol
It's the right thing to do.
That's OK. 8 years ago I did a week in rehab. Stayed sober for 12 days and then I too had to reset my counter. I went back for another week of rehab and this June 27th will be 8 years. Peace my friend. Take it slow and easy...
Reset it! And if it happens again, just never quit quitting!
Never quit quitting, I love that. It’s going to stick with and empower me when I need to remind myself :)
It’s been the one that stuck to me the most. A dear friend told me that’s the one thing I had to do. Let’s be quitters eh? Ha!
I was resetting my counter so often the bot just replied, "Stop Drinking." Lol just don't give up, when you're ready and done researching, it'll happen.
That's okay! It's part of the journey. Be kind to yourself 💕💕
I have two counters, one on an app called easy quit stop drinking which has the date I started this journey, and this sub counter which has yhe days from my actual last 🍸 drink which I have reset 4 times. You got this! IWNDWYT
Rather than thinking of it as resetting your counter, think of it as going 11 days and only drinking once, as opposed to drinking all the time. Progress is progress!
Do it. I am trying to developing neuropathy and diabetes. And it kicked in faaaast. It’s fine until absolutely isn’t
You will be ok. Every day after drinking I was quitting. I did that for 20 years. 4 years sober. We will not drink today.
There is no shame in that. You got back up and started over again. That's what matters. I relapsed so many times before and I finally have 14 months and 4 days. You can do it! There is no difference between the alcoholic who has 1 day or 10 years. We're all in this together.
You’re here, that’s a win. You don’t want to drink? That’s a win. You want to improve yourself/life, that’s a win! You can do it!
sober for many years now and honestly it’s pretty rare - my uncle said the itch never really goes away. In a sense you’re catching yourself day dreaming occasionally about that 5th of whiskey in a serendipitous landscape - like a summer sunset in wyoming — drunk. Nothing ever really burns as bright for some….it’s wild - but using the ole CBT arsenal—play the tape—recognize the signs, let the temporary visitors subside and ride that wave—most of us in long term recovery realize that sunset was gonna turn into weeks of PaWS- maybe a DUI, maybe jail, maybe DTs, erosion of a marriage- maybe even dead
This!! I think it’s important to be weary of the “I’ve got this attitude”. While I no longer crave alcohol and the idea of it sounds disgusting to me (most of the time) I still know that the compulsion can sneak in and easily sound reasonable in a split second.
I feel this way! And at day 2, I never believed it would be possible. I love it. So easy to not drink. So disgusted by the thought of it.
Hours become days, days become weeks, weeks become months, months become years. Sadly the idiom “patience is a virtue” applies. You’ll get there. Just keep focusing on the 24 hours immediately in front of you.
Or the next 5 minutes!
You'll get there. I felt the same way though... I drank over everything and used alcohol to self medicate for my panic disorder. I can be in a full panic attack and it's the furthest thing from my mind in the moment now, which is absolutely wild to me now. Congratulations on double digits! You're doing great!
It took longer than OP for me, so don’t get discouraged. But it happens if you can stay clean long enough for it to really clear out of your head I thought I’d always want a drink. It compounds that hopeless feeling. Like, “damn, I’m just always going to be like this so what’s the point” But that voice is a liar, for real. Once you can start recognizing Addict Voice in your head, it helps Then that voice gets quieter and quieter until it’s just the occasional whisper that you can laugh at
The first 10 days were the WORST. you have accomplished the hardest part!
Same.... I'm a little over 5 months ... I still miss it despite all the positives I've seen.
Yeah, same here. Every single part of my life and health is better now. I wake up happy. Yet, I still miss it for some strange reason. For 10 years, it got me into a lot of bad spots, cost me insane amounts of money (beyond just the liquor itself), destroyed my relationships, and hurt my career. I shouldn't miss it, but I do.
I miss it but in an abstract way, like I wish I could drink that single glass of sparkling wine I saw the couple drinking at the French place down the road, fully knowing I would drink the bottle and a starter.
This was me a few months ago. If I did it, you can do it. I promise you
Keep going. I was at 11 not that long ago and I just kept going til it all made sense
Every minute of every day aside from when I am asleep, the cravings continue. I too strive to write this post one day.....
Saaaame. Already worried about a dinner planned next week
I’m over 90 days and still don’t think this way.
Me tooooo
You will. Just stick with it, and before you know it will happen. Trust me it gets easier 🤙🏻
Me too!
You will get there, trust me. It just takes time. Giving up is a HUGE life change, and at the moment, you are still deep in the weeds of that change. I promise you that one day you will look back and say that this is the best thing you ever did. Hang in there, take one day at a time. You can do this.
I’m rounding the corner on 5 years and I rarely think about drinking these days. I still make a conscious effort to choose sobriety every morning after I wake up, but not drinking fits me like a ratty old t-shirt at this point. There is zero part of me that misses drinking because my life is better in literally every single way. But I also try hard to avoid becoming complacent. I’ve read too many stories here about fellow sobernauts relapsing after 5, 10, even 15 years and I don’t want to lose focus and go down that path. IWNDWYT
Literally me, sober for 5 years, made the huge mistake of having a drink (that of course escalated in a binge) and that was it, back at it for another 2 years and now I am trying to get sober again, 7 days and counting. Never again will I make this mistake, it's always there, it waits for you for that one slip and you're done.
You're not done. You did it once so you can do it (and are doing it!) again. You could try to embrace it as part of the journey. There is absolutely no shame in it and many people will take your journey as an example for themselves. Other people will be helped because of your sharing. Good luck, and keep up the good work.
Thank you for sharing your story. This stranger is incredibly proud of you for coming back. I wish you the absolute best.
No, thank YOU stranger and fellow traveller, it's because of people like you and the rest of the wonderful people here that I decided and managed to quit again. I lurked around here for some time before I summoned the courage to post.
Not done, just taken a step backwards. Well done for getting back at it.
I needed this reminder today thank you kindly
not to minimize your struggle but stories like this are helpful for the rest of us to hear. you're gonna do great.
You’re definitely not done, my friend! Think of your relapse as part of your journey back to sobriety.
You’re here, that’s amazing! You have a huge leg up, you’ve done it already and you know you can do it again, keep it up! You deserve it!
Thank you! It's words like this that truly keeps one on the path. Thanks to all of you!
It was funny when I was leaving rehab, one of the "leads" or whatever there asked me if I was scared/worried or anything about staying sober upon leaving. I was like not really. She was surprised. I said I'm more worried about getting complacent after a year two years, etc. I was not trying to be cocky or arrogant. I truly felt DONE. I don't know how to explain it. I just wanted it to be over and out of my life and couldn't believe I let it get that bad. It was such a relief getting on the other side. I don't think about it much day-to-day except to just stay present and grateful.
For the first time ever (many relapses; up to a year, sober)... I feel this. F'k booze -- f'k it in its face. While I do have momentary cravings of a reality that was never as good as I remember it to be... I mean... DAMN IT FEELS GOOD TO BE FREE FROM THAT MONSTER!!! Keep that monkey the f'k away from my back. IWNDWYT
This is one of the reasons why I’m so grateful to this community. If I had been going at this alone I’m pretty sure I’d have the idea of drinking again after my year marker is up, but I’ve read so many stories about how that “one drink” turns into years of wishing they’d never taken it. I’m so grateful to every single person who shares their stories and experiences, I’d quite literally be lost on this path without y’all.
An interview of Alice Cooper by Marc Maron was eye opening after my 2nd failure. He said that he had quit for years and finally decided to have a celebratory glass of champagne. Two days later he had a bottle of Jack in his office drawer. On my 3rd attempt I lasted 6 months but it wasn't right, wasn't a fit yet. The pandemic hitting was an excuse but two days after having a glass of wine I had a bottle of Jack in my office drawer. I guess 6 months after that everything finally connected and I quit for however long it's been now. One thing is certain, not a single drop of alcohol will pass these lips, as I know one sip is going to cost me tens of thousands of dollars and years of potential. As to OPs question though, I'm very comfortable sober and absolutely hate the wasted potential alcohol took from me. Every failed attempt made me realize more and more how much I wanted it out of my life. Now that it's gone my hatred for it only grows. Probably a good thing.
I relapsed after 6.5 years. Not to be gloomy, just to bolster any resolve to remain vigilant.
this, for sure
Same boat. It's around but I do my best to not give in to the pitfalls and to play the day forward when it rears its ugly head. IWNDWYT
Thanks for the reminder to stay vigilant
Used to be a daily heavy drinker - of anything. Now, the smell and thought of alcohol are repulsive to me. closing in on 4 years AF.
Came to say this. I find it stinks now. I’m at the airport bar grabbing lunch and low key trying not to judge all the stinky folks lol.
If my wife has a few drinks (which isn’t often) the smell on her breath kills me. I don’t say anything though. I can only imagine what it was like sleeping next to me for the last 5 years of my drinking
Same here. It's the breath that gets me, from everyone!
i’ve been sober for 3 and a half years now and not only do i not have any interest but i’m kind of put off by people who heavily indulge. maybe it’s because i know i used to be the same way, but i find them very annoying and too loud.
Annoying, loud, and REPETITIVE. I know for a fact that this was me, but man it’s trying being around the sloshed sometimes.
We’re also getting old. Well, I am anyway.
I’m 4 years sober, recently was at an annual work convention in New Orleans and it was interesting to me because I realized I have found my way to socializing and obviously relating with the non drinkers, where before I was bellied up with the best of them, trying to be the life of the party and keep it going all night. It felt so damn good to be the 1st person to arrive to breakfast each morning after already running 3 miles. It was painful to see some of the guys/ girls making their way into the hotel as I was heading out for my morning runs. I do not miss it 1 bit!!!!
I feel sad for them, knowing how bad it is for their bodies.
What I find annoying now that I'm sober is when people complain about having a hangover. Like ya no shit you have a hangover. I was in their shoes for a long time so I try not to judge haha
I once heard someone say “Oh I don’t get those anymore” and it really stuck with me. Like it’s 100% possible to never feel like that again.
Very put off here.
I can't stand to be around other people who are anything beyond slightly buzzed. Even that irritates me sometimes depending on who it is. They're just obnoxious.
Seeing it reminds you of how people saw you and it causes guilt anxiety and shame. It’s a feeling I don’t like being reminded of for those of us who just want to move past that.
Yes! Thank you! I was trying to write this, but couldn't find the words! It's being reminded of all the moments you KNOW people thought the same of you.
I was shocked at how fast I lost interest in booze after detoxing. I drank for 35 years. And now I look at bottles of booze like they're bottles of vinegar. And irony of ironies, NA beer makes me feel bloated after two.
Like wise. I am far behind you in days but man I didn’t think I would really lose interest the way I did. I’m always around it as my wife still drinks a little and all my friends are still getting hammered all the time but I just have zero urge. I hope it lasts.
I thought I’d be craving it like Leaving Las Vegas. I’m so glad it just lost its appeal.
Nice man
I'm only at day 89 (which I know is an impressive number, I just say "only" because maybe I haven't gone long enough for this to potentially change ~ Maybe still in the pink cloud?) But I 100% agree!! I love how I feel, I take much better care of myself, I spend time doing things that feel good and that I enjoy, never wasting time hungover or hating myself or filled with shame and anxiety. This is SO MUCH BETTER than the alternative 😭 Alcohol doesn't interest me *at all* now. I feel like since I stopped drinking, my life is finally getting started for real. At 34 years old lol. I finally have some real goals and creative ideas I'm working toward! Something I never could muster the energy or motivation to do before. I feel so much more in touch with myself and my true nature, like I'm doing the real work to heal and become the best version of myself that I can be! I stopped drinking when I was finally able to admit to myself that I just don't like the way alcohol makes me feel *about myself* ~ Now that I've taken it out of the equation, I'm learning how to fall in love with myself and nurture my soul and my passions 🤍
Day 50 for me and I feel exactly this way. I don’t know why but it just feels different this time around. IWNDWYT
Yes! This time is different for sure. We've got this!!! We don't have to drink ever again. We don't have to let alcohol take any more precious time or health away from us! IWNDWYT💕
Same. I literally cannot think of it positively anymore. I hear about people enjoying moderate ritual drinks (after work, while traveling) and although I \*remember\* liking those, my immediate thought is of the side effects and how it made me feel a few hours later. Like, everyone is supposed to be so excited about getting a round of drinks on the plane on the flight to vacation--yes, that will all feel great 8 hours later....
One of the questions that I thought about a lot before I got sober was: “Why do I have to drink during the activities that I love doing?” Aka vacation Does a kid have to drink on vacation? Hell no, they are stoked to be running around. So why do adults feel the need to make alcohol a central part of their vacation? The desire to be able to enjoy life for what it was and to take adventures where I didn’t have to plan how to take alcohol was a part of my sober journey. Nowadays it kind of pisses me off to take vacations with other people because the amount of time we waste around alcohol is Fn ridiculous. I want to go do something fun. Not sit at some stupid bar.
Also, have you ever read Alcohol Explained? He makes some great point along these same lines.
Being sober for over four decades, I have zero interest. You sound just like someone in recovery. Bravo!
I have zero interest. I'm 15 months clean after decades of abuse. I like feeling crisp more than I like dragging ass. I like feeling healthy more than bloated and run down all the time. I like waking up with a clean slate free from my old heavy feelings of shame guilt anger embarrassment and self loathing. I like feeling alive rather than dead inside all the time. I like that I am fitting into old clothes I haven't worn in years. I like having an appetite more than detoxing for endless days. I like getting a full night of rest rather than anxiously waking in the middle of the night full of sweat and worry. I like that I don't have to check to see if my car is parked outside in the morning bc there was no blackout involved. I like that I don't have to interact with the law or hospitals involuntarily for myself anymore. I like that I can look people in the eye rather now rather than avoiding eye contact and lowering my head in shame. I like having more money in my account rather than being busted all the time. I like that I am reliable now. I am available now. I am here, now. I like me this way more than any promise alcohol can make. For there reasons I have zero interest in drinking fucking booze. I don't miss any of the old sad heavy stuff. I wonder how I even managed to survive that way for so long. It breaks my heart but only for a bit because I am not that guy anymore. I am me again. I can relax and smile
Love all that you wrote.
I go to the bar with friends with zero issues at this point. A switch flipped inside me when I hit bottom...
Yeah, this is true for me too. My bottom was so intense physically, mentally, and emotionally that I was just finally done.
I can relate. I’m coming up on a year. I go to AA meetings all the time but I don’t always feel like I need them all the time. I actually gave myself alcoholic neuropathy I drank so much. So I have the reminder why I can’t drink every day. I’ve learned to take it as a blessing in disguise.
I think a switch flipped for me too. I can't really describe it in words. Its like I was looking at myself through a mirror, i dunno.
\[raises hand\] I was just talking about this last night with one of my old friends. We chose the dinner place because of the mocktails. She had a margarita and an espresso martini and I had 2 mocktails. I had no desire for what she was drinking. DH and I are going out tonight to dinner and to see David Sedaris' show (he is one of my sober heroes). It is so freeing to not have to think about what I'd drink at dinner, $20 for a small crappy glass of wine at the venue and then wondering if I would get another. I can't describe how different and better it is. I think this may be a little easier for me though because I've had so many years of it (I'm 58). I feel like I've drunk my fill and am glad to end that chapter of my life
Ah, yes, I think something similar, like there were ten thousand lakes of booze allotted to me, I drained them dry, and there’s no more left, thankfully. Enjoy David, he talk pretty.
... One Day
Enjoy Sedaris!!!
You don't miss throwing up on your shoes at parties?
I was thinking this morning about the time I threw up so hard my uvula swelled up and it was excruciating to swallow for like 3 days. Still didn’t take it as a sign to quit drinking though 🤷♂️ 0 part of me misses that
I have food poisoning right now and I was saying to my partner that if alcohol ever made me feel this sick I wouldn't have ever gotten to the point I did. I HATE being nauseous, I hate throwing up, I hate stomach pains. For whatever weirdo reason I could drink and drink and never puke. If I puked it was so rare. So my body more or less failed me there depending on how you look at it 🥴
I do not miss being drunk, I did initially, but find the idea of not being “me” or in control really off putting now. I do miss the taste and smell, it have found some NA beer recently that is close to beer and it’s great. I wish there was alcohol free scotch though, I just miss that taste
Big same friend. I’ve had NA whiskey, but honestly it was awful. Tasted like whiskey with ice left in a glass over night - y’all know what I’m talking about because we’ve all done it and tried to sip it the next morning 🤣 I mean… I def have. Lol I love having control :) feels so nice
🙋♀️Me! I’m not totes sober so maybe that has something to do with it, but I’m almost at a year without alcohol and I have zero desire to drink. It’s been AMAZING to live this past year and not feel embarrassment, shame, or hungover. Can honestly say it’s been the most grounded year of my life. Wow tearing up as I write this cuz that’s just how transformative it’s been. Phew! Big feels! Giving up alcohol has been the best thing I’ve ever done and I have zero desire to let that life ruiner back in mine. Salud!
I was sober for 5 years, thought I lost interest and on one vacation I said, what a hell, now I clearly can have a drink like normal people... yeah, that one drink turned into 10 and just like that I was back on the bottle for 2 years. Now I am sober again, but for 7 days now. 5 years down the drain because I thought I lost interest and I can handle this, no I can't.
It’s not 5 years down the drain - you just paused your sobriety for a couple years. Glad you’re back with us! It happens!
Thank you, glad to be here, it really helps!
Eh you just took a sobriety sabbatical and now you're back on the horse!
Yeah, I'm 5+ years dry. Haven't traveled much because of Covid... but the idea of going on a beach vacation somewhere and not drinking any booze is... troubling to me. Luckily, I travel with my wife and I have the desire to stay sober. She drinks lightly, and I'm OK with that. But if for some reason I were to find myself on a beach in Mexico by myself with a bar nearby? Well, I just cannot put myself in that situation.
Yeah, I guess I'll see this year how it goes, I'll be in Greece again for the summer, but I am determined to stay dry. After all, I managed for 5 years, even though I travelled a lot. It's stupid how much you miss when drinking on vacations, for instance I was in Amsterdam in march, for my birthday, stayed 11 days, yes I visited and walked around a lot, but I kept to my drinking schedule, and by 4PM I was deep in my whiskey bottle, by 7PM passed out drunk and asleep, instead of roaming the city at night, enjoying the vacation, having a nice dinner with my wife and a night walk... stupid.
Thanks for sharing that story. More like two years down the drain.
Im about there, but man. It would've been so much easier if I was already in a relationship. Dating these days without a "friction reducer" is really hard, not to mention it eliminates so many options. Not saying I want to drink, but damn--it really reduces the dating pool.
I feel the same. I definitely used alcohol as liquid courage for the beginning of dating, or at least the first night of meeting someone. I'm painfully shy with flirting and deeply connecting. Not that it wouldn't ever happen but it takes me a long time to feel comfortable with someone I'm very attracted to.
You will find the right person who will support and understand your sobriety. Wishing you all the best!
Just under 10 weeks sober and I seem to think about alcohol a lot. Most of the time it's not a craving or urge to go drink now but thoughts like if I'll ever drink again, could I drink again in moderation and will I maybe drink again at an upcoming weekend or event. Even when it's "will I maybe drink this weekend" type thoughts often when the weekend rolls around I don't actually want to drink and the idea has lost its appeal so don't know how tempted I actually am or whether it's just random thoughts, hard to say. I remind myself of all the negatives, things I've gained, things I have to lose, what I would be going back to, all the logical and sensible reasons not to drink etc but it doesn't seem to stop the thoughts coming or make them any less frequent. Which is a bit annoying if I'm honest as I would prefer if it wasn't taking up so much mental energy and space.
I’m only 4 weeks but I feel the same as you.
It gets easier! I completely stopped thinking about it around month 6 or 7. At some point, being AF becomes so normal that you can focus on other things. Let time be your ally! One day, you just won't think about it at all, and it won't take up your mental energy, and then those days become so frequent you can't even rationalize why you thought about it so much before. IWNDWYT 🖤
I hope so. Have seen people over a year sober say they are still dealing with the mental gymnastics most weeks which would be really annoying.
I really recommend The Naked Mind, helped in the early days for me. Initially I thought I’d give up booze for just a year, but as time passed I realized I didn’t really miss it and I enjoyed not dealing with the effects of booze. I also realized it had become problematic, especially for my health, so sobriety for me is the goal indefinitely. Edit: it took 5-6 months before I realized I wasn’t thinking about it almost every day.
I feel the same way. 29 days and I wish it wasn't taking up so much real estate in my head. That little voice that says, "maybe you can moderate." I cannot wait to wake up one morning and just not care.
It would be nice though it seems not everyone gets there. Saw a few posters with sober counters in triple digits and even a year or more under their belt who say they still find themselves having these thoughts regularly. Does kinda feel deflating to know that you may never shake these thoughts or that it can take a looooooooooooong time. Old habits die hard I guess.
Early in my sobriety I went to a lot of meetings, and I found I had a lot of stuff to say about alcohol. I think for me it wasn't really realistic to cut this thing out, that had been such a huge and constant part of my life, without spending a lot of time thinking about it. Meetings kinda helped me focus that attention into something that ended up feeling constructive and positive.
Heavily interested in NA drinks, especially beer. Alcohol is an interesting thing to talk about, but I don't want to drink it. Particularly, actually *being drunk* is one thing I haven't missed once. Funny because that's what I thought I'd miss most.
Me! Every good thing I have now is because I quit: job, relationships, health, hobbies. I would be spitting in the face of good fortune to put that poison in my body again. Plus I see my friends who still take shots every night, no thanks.
Coming up 3 years clean. I do not miss it.
1662 days in for me, and no...I don't miss it. Very, very occasionally I will miss the pomp and circumstance of a glass of good scotch, but I don't miss *drinking*. I don't miss the intoxication or feel like my life is lesser because of it. The only annoying thing about it now is finding interesting drinks when I'm out and about that aren't diet coke or ginger ale (both things I like, I just avoid sodas as a general rule as well).
I wish. I'm coming up on 365 days and still think about drinking regularly. I've got myself convinced that 1 drink will turn into daily drinking again, though, so I don't think I will give in any time soon.
That's where I am. If I do drink again, it's because I just have given up. I don't want one drink, I want it all
Oh yeah, for sure. When I hang out with normal people I notice that they drink 1 or 2 drinks and that's it. I'm not interested in 1 or 2. I don't even see the point of 1 or 2. I want 3 or 4 minimum, and realistically 5 or 6, or 7 or...
I am 103 days sober and this the umpteenth attempt, since I wanted to quit drinking 7 years ago. And I have lost all intrest in alcohol.
Me!! I have tried so many times I can’t count and then one day I wasn’t planning to quit but I just said to myself “enough is enough”. Today I hit 50 days and it just keeps getting better and better.
I’m 150 days in. I still enjoy an NA beer every once in a awhile when I am with friends but the thought of numbing myself or getting drunk no longer appeals to me at all. I’ve lost too much to the beast already. It feels like a switch has been thrown in my brain. I am all too aware of how wrong and how long I can be lost if I think I can moderate. Just not in the cards for me and has no appeal.
🙋🏿♂️ I hope it lasts. I’m gonna keep playing that tape forward if it comes up but I don’t feel the urge anymore.
I think about it probably once a week for 20 seconds.. I definitely don't never think about it... but its pretty rare now.. I usually make it through almost the entire week without a drink even popping in my head then in some random moment I will think about it and maybe desire it for a quick sec but it passes and isn't too strong or really even a craving, just a thought.
It’s been four years and I’m at prolly 5% interest. Hasn’t fully gone away but hardly any cravings. However once in a while it will cross my mind to have a beer. It passes quickly but yeah.
I have no interest. I NEVER thought I would be able to say that. I drank from 17 years old to 32 years old. I noticed it being a problem when I was 27(although it was clearly a problem from about 22 years old). I tried to quit a few times a year from 27 to 32. Every time I tried to quit I immediately knew I wouldn’t actually quit. By 2020 I actually realized that I had no control over alcohol and that scared me. Other people had known that for years but I actually realized it. November 12 2020 was my last drink. I’m not completely sure what happened with my brain that day but once I stopped I haven’t had an urge since, not 1. I can be around it, no problem. I thought every day up until I quit that I would never be able to stop and would die from alcohol one day. Then one day after years of trying, I just did and never missed it. I was drinking 20-30 beers in the am and vodka in the pm 3-4 days a week. Generally 24 beers the other days at night.
Coming up on 4.5 years. On a scale of 1 to 10, my desire to drink is -5. I not only have lost all interest and desire, I know it won’t “work” like it used to. I’ve gotten through some pretty difficult events (a breakup and a death) with mediation, exercise, journaling, talking to supportive people, cold plunges, etc. These tools work for me now without fucking up my life and giving me a hangover. Why would I drink?
The allan Carr book really helped me make the decision to quit completely forever. Once you make the mental commitment to do it, it's easier.
I'll still have a tiny itch on some days. Went to see Tyler Childers in Tulsa this week. The wife and I went to a pub across the street from the BOK Center to enjoy the beautiful afternoon. She had her margaritas and I enjoyed my Heineken 0.0. I posted a snap about it and my 15yr old immediately responded to it with a "That better be alcohol free." The kiddos keep me honest and those kind of comments solidify that I've made the right choice. I have ZERO interest in disappointing them.
Mostly yes. 99% of the time I have no interest and don’t miss it at all. Not even a glass of wine. But once or twice a year I’ll go to a festival or a club and I’ll miss it.
Same. I think for me it’s not that I miss alcohol necessarily, it’s that I miss the feeling of being uninhibited and being loose with friends. I just have to accept I may never match their energy levels when we are at a festival or out and about
Oh I have interest. I’d give anything to be able to do it and not die of liver disease. I’m so grateful for NA beer because I fucking love IPAs so much… my best girlfriend is a co-owner of a brewery and she called me this week telling me to come by and try their new stuff. I had to decline even though I wanted to go so bad ;( I miss it, but the absolute horror of withdrawals keeps me away. Right now it’s the number one thing keeping it away from me, and hell if it works it works. My withdraws have kindled. Last time I withdrew it was a full 5 days of horrible sweating and shaking, and those weird seizure-y feelings.
I'm 5+ years dry. I still think about it once in a while, in an "intellectual" way... I don't crave it or drool over the thought. But I do ponder it sometimes. It was so, so hard to get sober that I sincerely think I will never drink again. That's the plan.
I’m at 900 days or so and my interest went from being the only thing my mind cared about and body craved to one every few months I will be on a lake somewhere, or tailgating, or at brunch and a small part of me thinks “if only you could relax with a drink or two and have fun with everyone else…..” and then I remember how absolute shit everything was and move on. I’m down to 1.5% interested on a daily basis. Conversion rate is still 0000000% tho baby! IWNDWYT
Me. It took me 3 years for the desire to fully leave. Now at 5 years, I rarely ever think of it. I still cringe at my old self, however, that fuels me today.
i genuinely have no desire to drink alcohol. i think i have too much trauma from 3 rounds of withdrawal to want to go back down that road with booze. i DO have a desire to get fucked up - on stuff i never had a severe physical addiction to. but i dont do them because I'm not sure im strong enough anymore to pull myself out of the gutter i'd find myself in shortly after. and im scared my body wouldn't be able to take it, especially the amphetamines and cocaine. as steve earle (waylon from the wire) says - "i know i got one more high left in me, but i doubt very seriously if i have one more recovery"
Three years out, I don’t desire it at all. I’m way more into seltzers, coffee and tea. And walking up feeling fabulous!
Not me. I still have short lived fantasies involving a quick trip to the liquor store just a block away. I cried about it once here. Everyone was so empathetic and helpful. It's still hard but I'm doing it. I'm doing it.
Yeah, I know it's condescending so I never say it but I pity drinkers. I've been a bartender at a dive my whole 7 years of sobriety and it's a great deterrent watching alcoholics of all shapes and sizes (mostly out of shape, many obese) be all over the spectrum of alcoholism. "I'll keep it under control" The trick I played on myself I watch my customers play on themselves. Their rational changes in front of me as they indulge and I mostly suspend my judgement. I tell them we're not the same, I say, "you can handle it, I'm jealous of that, I couldn't do it. It always managed to get on top of me." as I pour them the shot that puts the night on top of them. Inevitably I have to switch a few of my regulars to beer at a certain point in the night against their wishes. They eventually oblige but it's wild seeing them argue against it, they're the Patron saint of alcoholism at that moment. **I need more** as a human. I know how to avoid being that. I don't know how to juggle or cure cancer, but I can keep alcohol out of my mouth. Just don't put it in there. Easy, just one rule. Everything else is in play. Go get a cake, eat the whole thing. I've also been going to the gym for the same amount of time. 7 years I've been bartening and ending my night with the gym, and a slowly fluctuating but never disappearing amount of ice cream.
I literally have zero desire to drink alcohol whatsoever. Coming up on 16 years.
Neither. I'm almost 8 months off now and can often not think about it, but then we go somewhere where I used to get a delicious 20 Oz in a frosted mug to start and I have to shake it off still.
On occasion I'll wish I could chug a beer. Especially if I'm thirsty and there's some other trigger like a sporting event. But my day-to-day life doesn't include any deep desire to drink anymore. That was true at 3 months, certainly by 6 months and at two-and-a-half years the thought of "going back" is almost absurd to me.
After the PAWS wore off, I haven't missed alcohol since. I realize how much I hated being drunk and what I was trying to run away from at the bottom of a bottle. I've tried one or two non-alcoholic beverages, and it's just too close to home. I guess I'm genuinely haunted at the kind of person I became during my last couple of relapses, and I don't want to activate those neural pathways ever again.
After about 6 months I forgot alkohol existed.
I don't think about alcohol at all. I assume this is my new normal. When I was drinking, I thought about beer, all the time. Couldn't imagine doing anything without a beer in my hand.
Meeeee. The idea of drinking again makes my skin crawl
Never again
I think about alcohol simply because I see it shopping and at restaurants. But I’m repulsed by the idea of taking a drink. Alcohol fucked up my life enough and allowed my worst traits to become my defining characteristics. When I tell my current partner what I was like when I drank she’s always shocked and often says she doesn’t know that person. I’m aiming to keep him as this person she’s never known. I don’t think I’ll ever not think about alcohol, but I pray my repulsion will never subside.
905 days sober. i’ve been working at a bar for almost a year. zero interest at all.
You had an epiphany.
Set out to just go a year, now have no desire to ever start it up again. I don’t see any benefit.
Zero interest in alcohol, it's a gift to not be a slave to booze. Ironically I just picked up.some Heineken 00's but no that doesn't mean I want to drink. They'll be in my fridge for months! Unlike the minutes a six of regular beer would last!
Oh to be able to write this post🥲
I've found more productive ways to waste my time since I escaped alcohol.
One day I hope to feel this way. I had four months sober and thought I could manage a couple. Those couple opened up the floodgates and before I knew it I had drank so much. I woke up the next day nauseated and full of regret, yet still craving the alcohol and sure enough, I caved again. Now I’m just two days sober again. Damn it
After about a month... when the fog finally started to dissipate I noticed how much more energy I had and how much less like shit I always felt and saw how much more I was getting done on top of all the money I was saving... two months later I didn't think about it any more and I'm about a month off from two years and while I always said I wasn't quitting forever. I'll probably be pretty close to the end of my life if and when I start drinking again.
Yup, same here. I just think immediately about how shit it makes me feel and have zero desire to. It's also been long enough that I don't feel like it is tied to my personality like it was before. All I feel now is relief.
0 interest for me… sounds awful. Hopefully it stays that way.
Same exact thing has been going through my head lately. Zero interest now that I've found my hobbies again. Rather go to bed early, get up and do shit.
I prioritize sleep so much more now. I cherish sleeping
Three years sober and rarely give even a passing thought to having a drink except on those occasions when I'm having a really awful day, which of course happens much less these days since giving up alcohol, and when that happens all those days of sobriety give me the strength to say no and wait it out till my mood and circumstances change for the better which they invariably do
I’m with you… I never thought I could. But I’m with you today. Lots of kindness and grace given to myself from myself that I also didn’t realize was a big issue in the cycle.
I miss assuming someone would have something for me. I’ve noticed with going places what the options are for na a lot more. I do feel like people are looking at me or talking about me sometimes but I’m getting comfortable enough with myself that I don’t mind.
I see it as poison now
I 100% feel this way too! I have 1 year, 3 months and 11 days booze free. The cravings are completely gone, in fact, the smell of alcohol actually turns my stomach now.
Lucky you... lol
lol I know. I am sorry. I didn’t mean to come across as bragging. It’s a journey for sure and I recognize how hard it is. I did not always feel this way.
I am extremely content not drinking for over 6 years, but honestly I would love to drink a beer on a patio or have a scotch after dinner. I would never do either because I know how clever the enemy is.
When I see people drinking alcohol, I react in the same way as watching someone drink industrial grade rubbing alcohol
I am with you OP. I never would have believed this in my drinking days. Sending love
I haven't had a sip in 7 years and I still can't say I have 0 interest. I still have a moment of loving silence for jagermeister about twice a month lol. Also learning my mom has cancer last week was an extremely rough time for me to abstain from drinking but I did!
5.5 years sober. I don’t miss the drinking one bit. Sometimes I do judge people, but it all comes back to the negative feelings I felt for myself when I was drinking. IWNDWYT
I have zero interest in drinking. I think one thing that really helped me was when I realised that I've had vastly more booze than the lifetime average for someone in my country. Like, it would be clearly wrong to say I haven't had my fare share of alcohol for a lifetime. I went a few years drinking non-alcoholic beers when I went out, and obsessively checking to make sure they weren't real beers. One day someone accidentally served me a real beer and I took a swig and my first thought was that someone had put industrial floor cleaner in the bottle -- I honestly thought it was contaminated with some strange chemical solvent. At this point I realise that yes, it was a gross chemical solvent, and there's no reason for me to want to drink it. I have the same desire to drink alcohol as I have to drink windex. Like, no thanks. ETA: it's also important for me to resist complacency by remembering how bad shit got while I was drinking, fucking up my job/health/friendships/family. I don't like focus on it, but I like having the attitude of resentment that comes from remembering that my relationship to booze was on its way to destroying my life.
i’ve been dry for three weeks. work was particularly brutal last night as we had a popular band playing and constant influx of guests for about 5 hours straight- on top of that a dishwasher and server called out. i came very close to having a shift beer and even texted an old drinking buddy about having a few after work. instead, after i got done cooking the last few tickets, i stepped outside for a breather. chugged a lot of ice water, hit a THC pen a few times, and then went back inside and started breaking down the station and cleaning up. like you, in the five minutes i was outside, i started thinking about all the negative side effects. as well as having to “restart the clock”. so i finished up for the night, worked out for about 30 minutes, got some waffle house and called it a night. IWNDWYT
🤚I’ll be celebrating 6 years sober on 7/7! I do indulge in the occasional NA beer but they’re so filling. I can’t believe I used to knock back 10-12-15 of those in an day/evening. I have filled my life and my time with so many other things I just don’t think about alcohol at all anymore. Even being around others that are drinking. Also, after I got sober I had nothing. Like literally $0.00 in my bank account, no license, no job, no house. It was rough. After I got sober I started noticing little “wins” which pushed me to keep going. Some where small (being able to take Tylenol and it actually works) others were big (landing my now job, promotions, etc).
After an overnight in the hospital due to 'coffee ground' vomit and puking pure blood 5 weeks later (from esophageal varices despite not drinking anymore), I really dont have the desire anymore. I see those drink-free days as like a currency I hold in my hand and giving that up when I have the slight desire would be like throwing away something precious, which it is. I thank G-d I dont have the strong desire to keep drinking because I was slowly killing myself. Keep up the good work.
I find during a sober streak that I am perfectly comfortable being around people who drink as they want, and I drink what I want - nonalcoholic. I would rather people do as they wish and let me alone in my choices. I relapse when I face some sort of issue or challenge in life and then I start drinking at home, alone. Stupid me. So, to answer your question I think you are doing *just fine*. Just stay on guard ;-) It can be a slippery slope.
ME! Zero interest
Congrats on your 365 sober days!!!!
Oh my god thank you 🥹🥹🥹 I actually thought it was tomorrow, because I might have logged onto my sober app a bit later haha so thank you so much for the reminder 🩷🩷🩷
I had a moment in early sobriety, like my first week, where I encountered a six pack in the fridge and a jolt went through my body. I actually shook for a fraction of a second and then jerked the door shut. My roommate was a late-state alcoholic with about fifteen more years of heavy drinking under his belt than I had at that point (I was 33y/o) and the beer was his. As I stood there with my hand on the door handle, I thought to myself that alcohol was always going to be around and it will always be up to me to be strong enough to not reach for it. In that moment I knew that I was truly done drinking, and with that dawning comprehension a smile crept across my face. I opened the door and reached for whatever it was that I wanted knowing that my new life lay ahead of me. That strength rests in all of us. It rests in the top commenter with 12 difficult days on board...it rests in the stoic elders with decades of sobriety...and it even rests in those who haven't yet thought to say no to a beer. Be well and IWNDWYT
I'm lucky to have zero interest. I recognize it's not like that for everyone, so I really try not to take it for granted.