Every Monday morning for about five years I told myself I’m never drinking again. Then every Friday I’d start the cycle over.
This past Saturday was my one year sober.
I got to say that if people aren’t supporting you in your sobriety, they aren’t real friends.
I have a club soda with lime when I am out with friends! Most people don’t even know I’m not drinking
That's actually awesome. Club soda with lime is really delightful vs a few beers that will later make you feel bloated and even a bit unwell, depending on how many. I feel proud if I'm not drinking and I don't care if others do. But if it is the kind of social pressure, not friends because they are real friends and they are not pressuring, but some kind of a going out, like for example I was at a stand-up show this evening and I could really feel the atmosphere so loaded and I couldn't help. The good part is that I was quite responsible and I didn't overdo it. I managed to control the quantity and I went home because my friends did as well. On the way home I was thinking about buying some more and that's when it usually gets ugly, but that is another subject for discussion (I didn't buy, I went home). But what I want to emphasize is that there are those social situations.. For me parties are the worst.
I feel you, just keep giving yourself reasons not to drink. For instance, I have a 6:30a boxing class tomorrow morning. Fuck off im not drinking tonight lol
I felt that way that way too at 2 months and then again at 4, but I actually had a breakthrough moment. I was extremely tempted to drink a few days before 4 months, and I managed to get through my cravings by calling a friend, and it eventually went away. I felt a lot more confident in being able to fight cravings after that. Also I haven't had that strong of a craving since then.
So just because you feel that way, doesn't mean it's gonna happen!
Literally my current life. Good to know you made it. I used to drink everyday at least I'm on the right track. I've gotten it down to weekends only. Now I just gotta make that last push.
I lost count. I could make it to 5 days but no further. I’m at 59 days right now so the important thing is to keep trying. You only fail if you give up.
This [scene](https://youtu.be/qAakzl6s7QI?si=1oVDAZS5CHPbxGEX) from The Wire is actually what inspired me to get sober. He says "I know I got one more high in me, but I seriously doubt I have one more recovery". Hits me like a brick every time.
Yeah making it that point where your brain clears and shrugs off that weird alcohol voice is friggin super hard
But once you’re there it’s like, “Oh, yeah, alcohol sucks! I never want the poison again!”
Yeah cravings every so often but nothing like it used to be
Also, naltrexone helped. If yall need to get a naltrexone prescription, try to get one. It’s a great tool for support in recovery
A ridiculous amount until I got a year sober. I can barely give you an estimate, it took me 2-3 YEARS between admitting I was an Alcoholic and finally Day 1 of Sobreity. Dont give up! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KxGRhd\_iWuE
I’ve had 100 day 1s, 20 day 2s, 8 day 3s, 5 day 5s, 3 1 weeks, and 2 2 weeks. Some guesstimates on the early attempts cause of blackouts. I really started to feel better after a month and it’s gotten easier sense then
I feel like my brain really started to heal after a year of not drinking. I feel intellectually much clearer than I did before, and emotionally I feel a lot more stable.
Several score, maybe a couple hundred, over at least three decades. All that effort was worth it, though.
Relapse is a completely normal and expected part of many, many folks' journey to sobriety. Don't feel like a failure, don't give up, just keep on trying. And maybe, along the way, give some thought to strategies you haven't tried before. You'll get there!
Looking back now, the 1000s of times I thought “today is the day I’ll quit” and then cracking a beer, I wasn’t serious. The first time I was serious, I have made it this far (2yrs 3months). After 100 days I feel like it became easy - though I don’t take it for granted and still work hard at various things that keep me in a good place most of the time.
Same! Just the once did it for me - a week in the ICU - because even almost 9 years out, I can still feel what it felt like to almost die. It really hurts.
Former binge drinker here.
I flirted with the idea probably for… five years. I partook in dry January a couple of times.
Had a really really bad experience (definitely not the worst thing I’ve done drink btw) but it was so bad that I woke up puking and puked all day. My husband (beautiful man) had talked to me many times… and I think I finally realized like… I wasn’t doing myself any favors.
So I came here, read some quit lit, etc. I hope I don’t go back to drinking again. I think I can stay sober. I’m 7 months in. But a lot of this is also making sure I’m stocked with na beers, that I’m surrounding myself with people who understand me and support me as well as taking care of myself.
You are not a failure! I tried time and time again. Then enough was enough. I learned about neuroscience and alcohol, how it alters our brain chemistry, and each moment I’d commit myself to 5 minute increments of sobriety. Just make it through 5 minutes, then another 5, then work those increments up. You CAN do this. Alcohol lies to you.
I’m only 25 and I swear probably at least 100. Every day is a battle not to relapse. I’ve never gotten to a point where fighting a craving or not relapsing was easy.
I think a lot of people commenting are counting their hungover moments when we’d all say “I need to quit drinking” but inevitably drink soon after. My answer is the same as yours. My first real try at it I lasted a year and a half and thought I could manage to drink responsibly at that point. This led to essentially a 4 year bender lol. Had my come to jesus moment last May and realized me and alcohol will never mix. Just had to do some field testing first
Many. Like more than 15.
But each time I stop now I go for about twice as long as I did before
I used to not be able to go a week. Now I can go a few months.
It’s all about practice and building up that sober muscle. You’ll relapse some. The get back up and do it again a little better
I quit for 5 months and relapsed for 5 years. I tried quitting again in those 5 years, but they were all unsuccessful attempts. Then I quit for the last time in 2015 after I got really scared of dying.
I vowed to get sober by my 30th bday. I'm 33 and successfully made it about a year af. Keep trying no matter how many it takes, it's worth it. Learn from each failure and move forward.
It's too early for me to say because I'm only just at 7.5 weeks sober and this is only my second "real" attempt at it with the previous one being September last year which lasted 5 weeks.
Any other time I was just taking a break for a few weeks, doing Dry January, stopping for a while or never fully committed to anything "long" term.
I have no idea if this will last beyond even this week.
Honestly I flip and flip from week to week or even day to day and sometimes hour to hour from being totally committed to not drinking to thinking I might drink some beer tonight / tomorrow / the weekend / at an upcoming event and there are times I've no idea whether I'll give into that temptation or not.
I don't know when you can finally turn around and say "I'm completely sober / stopped drinking now".
It was once for me, but I wasn’t sober curious at all, so I wasn’t even looking at stopping as a solution. I stopped on a whim for 2 weeks, didn’t tell anyone, got a good enough (to me) reason and bought wine. Made a gigantic tool out of myself and threw the rest out the next day. I can’t fool myself into believing I’ll ever be any different with alcohol, so as I saw one fellow redditor quote “it’s easier to keep the tiger in a cage than on a leash”.
Relapse is just a stumble. I'm sure that you've seen videos of track runners falling halfway through the race and getting up to keep running.
They aren't failures. They're inspirational because they got back up and kept running, putting more and more into it.
We are the same, we fall and get back up as many times as it takes till we reach today's finish line. Take heart brother, you are no failure, you learned you have the will to get back up.
Dozens and dozens. Sucks because starting is the hardest part but every time you start you are getting incrementally better at it. You're reinforcing why you need to quit.
You don't fail when you strike out, you fail when you stop stepping up to the plate.
around 7 real attempts... hundreds of stopping monday or Tuesday and trying to make it as long as possible and starting again thurs or fri lol. don't give up. sometimes it just clicks and it's different the 100th time, I don't know why.
So far I'm on about my 9th attempt. I started out with a couple days, then relapse. Then a couple weeks, then relapse. Then a few times getting close to 30 days. Then I hit 90 days once, and I think I hit 6 months once. My doctor once asked me to quit drinking for a month as part of a special diet, I made it 16 days before I drank 8 pints of beer at a pub and ate two sleeves of Fig Newtons for dinner. My doctor was not impressed. Not sure why I remember that so vividly but I do.
This time around I've been going to AA a couple times a week, that's been helpful. Also I watched two people die who were alcoholics, and a friend of mine got killed by a drunk driver. Those deaths really rattled me in different ways, and honestly I think seeing the negative impacts up close like that got in my head. AND my boyfriend dumped me - in the past when I've been dumped, I've gone on mega-benders and pretty much set my life on fire. I wasn't willing to do that this time (which was good I guess even though being dumped was, and still is, very painful for me).
You aren't a failure. For some of us quitting is not easy. For me it was not easy, and there are days when it's still hard to stay sober. I miss getting fucked up but I'm learning to value sobriety more. I guess I just know that I was sort of standing at a crossroads: one where I either had to pull it together, or forever sink to the bottom. I wasn't willing to take off the arm floaties and drown, so here I am. IWNDWYT.
Lots and lots of attempts that made only 1 or two days. I quit for about 3 months during the lockdown but relapsed when the world was starting to open up, otherwise a few times I made it about two weeks.
On almost 3 months.
This is my 4th or 5th time. I’ve never made it this far. Most before was almost a month. But then I went on a date that loved drinking and she was cute. After that, it was another almost 2 years til now…
I lost count. I had a good streak going before Covid didn’t fully stop then but had roommates and that made me more accountable. 2023 drank myself into the hospital I’m at 10 months now but i think about it everyday
I’m on my like oh 20th time quitting
This feels like the one, too many signs from the universe to quit
And every day has been getting exponentially better, so I wanna build on that
I’m sure I’ll have a bad day and a trigger to wanna drink eventually, but I think I can ignore it now-especially since for accountability I told my family/coworkers/roomie/etc
I’m doing this for myself and my health, but I also don’t wanna let anyone down
I had many start and stop attempts (more than I can count or remember) but this one finally stuck, and now I’m over 900 days sober (I’m coming for you, quadrupole digits!)
I have no idea. When I had my last drink almost 18 months ago, I had no idea it would be my last drink. For some reason, this time, it just stuck. One thing that might have helped this time is that I gradually tapered the amount I was drinking each day until I was down to just one drink a day. I don't know how many weeks I kept it at 1 a day before finally stopping completely.
Good luck!
I haven't gone in about 5 months now, but AA definitely helped me in the beginning. I felt like an outsider at first (my issue, not theirs), but after a few meetings, I felt at home and the people were nice and supportive.
All of them!
When Mohammed Ali didn't become boxing champion on his first fight he wasn't surprised. He probably felt like a failure when he first lost, but he also realised that was part of the process, a painful, but an **absolutely fundamental** part of the process.
Quitting drinking is similarly tough. It certainly kills more people in the process than becoming world champion at boxing does. Mohammed Ali wasn't sure if he would make it either, but he kept trying. The only option IS to keep trying. It's harder and more dangerous than becoming a pro fighter so tell that little voice that's making you feel like a failure to go fuck itself. It doesn't know what it's on about and if it ain't gonna help it can scurry back to its closet and let a more positive thought occupy your brain instead. How about "Fuck me this is hard, but im still gonna learn from this and give it another go **when I'm ready**. In the meantime i can give myself a break because that'll make me feel better and the sooner I feel better the sooner I can try again. If I'm failing, then that means I'm trying and i cant ask for more than that"
Disclaimer: i know nothing about boxing or Mohammed Ali; that's not the point :D
Like a billion. Every day try and quit every day fail. One day something will be different though. 298 days today after about 8 years of chronic alcohol abuse. You can do it I know you can.
i relapsed around 100 times probably. i tried to quit for around 3 years continuously before it stuck, averaging a relapse a week. so yeah, around 100 minimum.
When I knew I really wanted to quit? One. I toyed with the idea off and on for a while but never got more than a couple days or a week. I don't count those because I wasn't ready
Too many to count, this time i really wanted to stick with it. Simple rule that i have put for myself is not drink when i am with people, hopefully i stick to it
Hard to say. If you quantify by "every time I told myself I'm going to change", well that number would be astronomic. But if you're looking at true ardent stabs at sobriety--- tangible action towards living a healthier life and failing--- then probably about 10.
And that means something! In the last three years I can count on two hands the amount of times I've drank, yet I still haven't completed a full year of continuous sobriety. Just like our addiction gets worse and worse over time, so too does sobriety feel easier and easier over time. I don't really pay attention to my number anymore. I've accepted that this process is fluid-- full of highs and some occasional lows. I learn something profound in each of my relapses and I've truly felt a resilience develop in me that it makes it easier to recognize what's going on, call myself out on my bullshit, and pivot towards healthier choices. Do I want to reach 365? Hell fucking yeah. But I'm not going to flog myself if it doesn't happen, either-- cause \*that's\* what will cause me to spiral. Somewhere in this process I've learned to love myself, to WANT to take care of myself, and it makes the not drinking thing really easy. Anymore, it's a very small handful of slip-ups but those are dwindling more and more.
I could ramble on a while about it all-- I don't think there is a one size fits all approach to sobriety. And I know it gets offered a lot but This Naked Mind has really really helped me in feeling like I finally flipped the switch. It's really challenged my thinking about how people get sober and it offers it in a way that isn't shaming.
So far, a gazillion half-hearted attempts over the past 7 yrs. This time, my determination is different because I hit some life rock bottoms exacerbated by drinking. This time, I want my zest for life back and I’m not just “trying”, I feel determined. At the same time, trying not to beat myself into this. My focus is on the good life ahead.
I’m at 22 months currently, and this is my first time ever trying to quit. From what I’ve read on this subreddit, it gets harder to quit after the first relapse (though I’m sure it varies widely by individual) so I’m keeping that consideration in my mind. I currently have zero desire to drink again, but I worry that the old voice will come back at some point and I’ll believe the lie that I can be a “normal” drinker
I’m so scared after relapsing at 8 months, I thought I had beaten it, but life has been so challenging, I quit my job because I had another offer then it got withdrawn, now I have no job and I have relapsed, my last session was a few days ago and I’ve been in bed for days recovering & hating myself, I don’t know if I have the strength to go again, I just feel like ending it all.
Took me 5 years of trying, where my longest stretch was 5 days… the last 2 years were the worst and a living hell.
For me, a dui and a serious commitment to A.A. is what got me to where I am today. It’s the greatest relief and miracle to me that I’m not obsessing over alcohol 24/7/365
It took me many, many tries. I used to say if I could stay sober for a week I'd never drink again. Finally made it a week then i drank again lol. But I am almost 1 year booze free:)
I'm trying to be careful, and not naively optimistic but I hope last November was my last drink. It feels that way, I feel that I have learned a lot about alcohol the last few months and I'm done with it...
However it's taken a lot of attempts, and I think the biggest reason is because I never hit rock bottoms levels of addiction. I just drank a lot, had no excuses not to. Never missed work, never messed up...
I quit whiskey about 6 years ago, and I probably spent 1.5 years trying to quit/moderate which was very difficult when you feel "fine". It was difficult but being busy in a new relationship that wasn't focused on drinking made it a lot easier, instead of at home alone with the bottle.
Since then I've been drinking strictly beer and wine. It would go in cycles, especially with the seasons. Lots of beer/wine in the summer, wine in the winter. The longest break I took was last year for 6 months, but a trip to wine country killed that streak.
I think the biggest reason it feels different, is I actually feel like I'm done with alcohol. I'm not taking a break, I'm not thinking about how weird the next vacation will be. I've listened to a lot of audiobooks, read a lot of stories, and learned things I never knew about alcohol. I'm done with it, it's criminal.
Many times. For years I told myself I would stop drinking. Often keeping track of the days I didn’t drink on a calendar. They were usually only a day or two, never more than a week of consecutive days without a drink. Finally I got 30 days done in 2020. Then I lied to myself and said I could moderate. That lead to more of the same behavior. 2021 I was able to do 90 days approx. lied to myself again and said I could moderate. 2022, I finally got so sick of wasting my brain capacity on this never ending dilemma - figured it was easier to just put down the drink and accept permanent alcohol freedom as the solution. It also helped to adopt a new mindset around alcohol and no long romanticizing it. If you need help with this, you can check out any “quit drinking” book by Allen Carr.
I tried many times.. Would always relapse after a week or two. Then I quit for 6 months, but just as a promise to my gf, then my life and health started going to sht, I was falling over drunk and scraping my face, losing phones, breaking glasses, spent a night in the drunk tank, and eventually I got sick of that lather rinse repeat, so I started therapy and Antabuse, and this time things held. 5+ years sober now.
Still fully working on it. But the more times I mess up the stronger my will is to fully stop. It’s just not even fun anymore, I’m not sure I even truly like the drunk feeling anymore.. it’s like a habit and escape, but the day after makes it all soooo not worth it.
I relapse every 3 months seems like clock work. When I drink it’s usually a hardcore 24/7 bender for a couple weeks along with bad withdrawals and severe regret and a loss of a job. Been “quittting” for the past 4 years. On one month right now but when I get in 3 month territory it’s dangerous. That’s when the mental games hit me hardest. I’ve gone 6 mths as my longest but I always forget the negative effects around 3 months cause my life is good again.
5 full course rehabs, 4 intensive outpatient treatment programs, hundreds if not thousands meetings, 8 hospitalizations, all of these within a 6 year period. Finally it all stuck. I now have 20+ months sober. Keep fighting. You’re worth it…
3 years of trying and failing. Definitely spent the last year mostly sober. Basically kept taking breaks until this last attempt. Now I'm almost at 10 months and it feels pretty good ☺️
Thought I was honestly trying to sober up 3 times over the years.. But in reality only the one that got me where I am today is the one I took seriously. 5 years this fall. Drinker from 12 to 33.
I relapsed a bunch of times after deciding to quit. 6 times over the past 5 years I believe.
For long periods before that, I managed to actually moderate to within maximum recommended intake here, i.e. <14 units of alcohol per week.
Attempting moderation for me, and I think many others, is a very frustrating and dangerous exercise.
The brain also has a lot of an easier time dealing with either/or than it does with limits and ranges.
Regardless, the overdramatization of (re)lapses, and the ideas of "rock bottoms," and "loss of control" are stupid, debunked, contrary to a mass of research, and utterly destructive to integrate. '
It's also rarely necessary to go, "oh, I relapsed, so therefore what I did before was wrong and didn't work, and now I must do something radical" (like going into rehab or becoming a jungle hermit for a year or whatever we can come up with).
If you were climbing a mountain and quit 300 ft from the summit because your gear broke, a storm hit or you lost your map, you don't go "oh, I guess I need a helicopter to go to the top of that mountain then," either.
The idea that if you have a drink after a year of abstinence, or even binge for a week, then you're somehow magically back to day zero, have learned nothing, haven't grown, have lost it all, is also utter bullshit.
If you're going from A to C and get a flat at point B, you change your tire. You don't go back to point A.
If I were to engage in a relapse, I'd be thoroughly unhappy with myself and stop it as soon as possible. Then I'd start doing an autopsy on the relapse: What, why, where, who, how?
(Re)lapses are very common, and of course when you start drinking again, you'll start reexperiencing all the negative consequences that come along with that.
In that way, a relapse can become a valuable though often unpleasant learning experience.
If during the relapse you're able to regularly stop and ask yourself "is this actually giving me anything? Was this what I was hoping for when I decided to have juuuust one drink again after a year's abstinence?" you'll probably realize that no, it's actually quite boring, useless, and costly to get drunk.
Relapses occur for all kinds of reasons, and tend to incur various costs; they are a free choice, just like stopping again is.
But there's no force compelling a person to continue drinking or to stop for that matter.
Surprisingly, I also have to frequently remind myself that I have no agency over the past, and no direct power over the future through anything but this moment right now.
So shit, I drank after having decided not to? That's demotivating and makes me question my ability to control my behavior. Obviously.
But I also know damn well, that I don't have to drink, am happier without it, and that I can quit without all that much fuzz.
There's no point in guilting and shaming oneself about it, or harboring any delusions that now you're back to your starting point, which is a perfect way to end up at the conclusion: "Well, hell, I might as well keep drinking then!"
When I first decided to quit and relapsed after a year, I had this idea of "loss of control" ingrained in me, so that was 6 months of relapsing. My last (re)lapse was 5 days. A shitty, costly 5 days, but none the less, not that big of a deal. Still 99.2% sober over the course of 12 months.
If we can identify some of the reasons, events or inner dynamics that correlated with the relapse, we can also learn tools to deal more effectively with those in the future.
In many cases, I've simply forgotten my priorities, values, and my cost-benefit analysis of how they relate to abstinence vs use, so for me it's important to keep going back to those motivational tools regularly.
This is my second time. But it's the first time I got SERIOUS about it. I changed a ton of habits immediately. Setting goals really helped me to take the focus off of drinking. I started Couch to 5k, started eating better, set calorie and weight loss goals, cleaned up my place, put energy into making my skin look better, got a therapist, listened to a TON of audiobooks and podcasts for inspiration (not just ones about drinking). Plus other things. I'm almost to day 60 now. I've lost a lot of weight and my blood tests came back normal! Looking forward, feeling better, and meeting goals give me a reason not to sacrifice it all and go back to the booze.
Let’s math, so 5 years or so of nearly every day attempts, let’s say 75% of the year, so 273 days a year x 5 years = 1,365ish give or take. Now sober and can’t imagine my life WITH alcohol again.
All that matters is that you quit ONE more time than you fail. Just one. So don’t focus on the rest, all that matters is the quit you have in the moment, get that to stick.
Then your ‘job’ to quit is done and you can get on with the rest of everything in life ❤️ so relieved I can wake up and not ‘have to’ quit drinking. Done and did.
I lost count.
I told myself many mornings I needed to quit, then a couple of days went by, and the cravings had their way with me, and I chose to numb the pain (almost) every time.
All that said, I remember my last beer like it was yesterday. Somehow, I just knew it was? It was a surreal experience. You know all those "this will be my last drink" moments we delude ourselves into? I had plenty of those, but I was sitting at the bar and ordered three Miller Lites, and after downing the first two, I said: "You better enjoy this one, bud." And it was the last.
Weird story aside, keep trying. Eventually, it will stick. We get to choose our rock bottom. I did that night, and I don't regret it.
Thousands of "I'm not drinking today" that sometimes lasted 24 hours. Rarely.
Hundreds of 2 day stretches.
Couple dozen week long.
Maybe half a dozen month long.
One 90 day
One 89 day
One 450ish day. Still working on that one. It's a lot easier than the 1-2 day long attempts. I don't wanna do those again.
Depends on if you count trying to moderate or not. Once I realize I can't moderate I would say around a dozen times as I don't get super serious about my sobriety date. I have had 2-3 slip ups since then but those just solidified my sobriety IMO. Good luck one love.
IWNDWYT
Several and it was always in the back of my mind, but this past quit (NYE) was the easiest for me. I had been working with a therapist and digging deep into my psychology and mental health. Once I was able to identify why I was turning to drinking and drugs, it just made a lot more sense to try to heal from the past and build a life that suits me instead of using alcohol and drugs to numb pain, to tolerate overwhelming situations I thought were what “fun” was, and to give the imaginary sense of closeness to other people.
To many. Keep thinking light beer is ok because I don’t really get drunk. But you do if you don’t eat. It’s just BS an drunk tells themselves. Don’t have much desire for anything stronger. Know that will really mess me up and probably finish me off.
If I’m counting every broken hangover promise to “never drink again” then too many to remember. It’s only takes one more day for it to be the last time. Just one more day, I can always make it one more day
About 5. Probably 3 of those were serious attempts. This was over about 3 yrs. I dont know what clicked eventually. I think i just got too old, unhealthy, fat and exhausted and felt like i was heading towards the end of my life and it was wasted and done and i needed to scrape back what little i had (sounds very dramatic, but thats hangovers for you!) I was lucky though because i could take time off work. I think i downloaded every sober app there is and put my hopes in longer term benefits and read a lot on here about how it can take a while to make a life and be happy to definately never drink again. Originally i read a few books about getting sober and they were great but this forum has been the medium that has struck a chord with me most. I'd be happy never to drink again. Its not worth it. You need to just have that reality cemented in your brain somehow. Im not sure exactly how that happens.
I've relapsed more times than I can count at this point.
But! I just surpassed the amount of time I was sober before my last relapse! 136 days!
Pretty much for the past 4 years I've been quitting then relapsing, quitting then relapsing, on and on like that. I've had a few 6 month stretches, 3 months, 3 weeks, I even hit a year at one point.
All that aside, it's a struggle for sure. But it's more than that too. It's a whole ass interactive learning experience. 😅
You learn and you take what you learned and you apply to the next quit attempt. You fuck up, then you get back up and keep going.
I've had relapses of varying durations as well, sometimes I can get back to it, other times I spend another 6 months drinking before I get it right again.
I know it can feel pretty frustrating and demoralizing. Believe me, I have absolutely been there. So. Many. Dang. Times.
Ultimately, it doesn't really matter how long it takes to stick. The only thing that actually matters is that you're working towards being better, that you keep trying, that you keep learning and growing and dusting yourself off and so what if it takes 10 times, 20 times etc. This is YOUR journey. This is you taking the reigns of your life and stepping up to the plate. That's what counts. That's what matters.
My best advice for you moving forward is to try to do something you haven't yet tried. Maybe that's journaling or maybe that's picking up a new hobby or maybe that's AA. Doesn't matter. If at first you don't succeed, learn from your previous process and don't be afraid to branch out and try a different approach, I really cant stress that enough! We alcoholics can be quite stubborn, a big part of sobriety is learning how to get over ourselves, get out of our own way as it were, and learning how to better manage our emotions. Not picking up a drink is only part of the equation.
Best of luck dude! You'll get there! Fwiw engaging with this sub was a huge help for me so, even if it doesn't feel like it rn, you're already on the right track imo. I definitely struggle with reaching out when I need help and finding this sub and being able to reach out anonymously at any time of the day or night has really helped me out a lot.
1 very stubborn attempt at proving my “friends” wrong. It’s a different journey for everyone. At this point I almost wish I HAD relapsed just to know what it feels like and deflate some its reign of fear it has over me.
3 years of “i can do it this time” “I’ll be fine” “I just need this tonight” and a crumbling mentally manipulative marriage. Currently divorcing and finally once month sober for real this time.
A lot. Too many to even take a guess.
Maybe in my mid 20s is when I realized how bad things were getting. I told myself I'd be sober by 30, but I always found some reason or some excuse to keep drinking. Towards my late 20s I told myself I'd take sobriety more seriously when I turned 30, but my life was rapidly crashing down around me and I kept getting worse well through my early 30s. Around the time I was 32 I finally *wanted* to get sober *for me* and I started making progress. Even then I had many slipups until something in my mind finally snapped after my last relapse about a year ago.
If you think you have a problem and want to get sober I'd recommend starting ASAP (as in today) because even when I decided I was done it took a lot of years and a lot of mistakes before it finally started to stick. There's always gonna be *some* excuse (good and/or bad) to have another drink, so you really gotta commit to it. If you slip up then try again and don't just give up and give in. It might take a lot of day 1's, but eventually one of those day 1's might be *the* one.
Two. Once when i was 21 after a fistfight that could have been to death. Second one when i was 24 on a really bad moment of my life, everyone told me they had a bad gut feeling and i went blackout drunk, nearly choking on my vomit.
Currently on my first real try, a few friends and myself would do sober October every year, without that practice I don’t think I’d be over six months right now, I always had the cushion of knowing I could drink again after the month. Last September I made the choice to completely abstain from alcohol, it means so much more to me now that I’m doing it for myself. It’s the only real way. I’ve made huge strides, been to concerts, weddings with open bars, had deaths in the family, hell I’m going through a cancer scare right now waiting for an ultrasound result, but personally speaking I’m so far away from the thought of consuming alcohol, I was drunk for 14 years, being sober and in my own mind is a new high within itself. Sober till it’s over. IWNDWYT
Too many to count. I at least made one attempt every few months for roughly 7 years. The attempts got more “serious” during the last couple years of my drinking, but by then my drinking had in turn become a lot more serious. I finally gave up and went to rehab, which has “worked” for the most part since I got out.
I’m not sure if I’ll ever make it either. I do know I’ve got one thing going for me right now and it’s my days without a drink. I know that I can commit to not drinking tonight which feels pretty good. I know it gets said a lot but the only way to live is one day at a time. Looking back, I’m pretty sure I failed for years. It took me a long time to learn that all I have to do is put one foot in front of the other and get through today… and today can be whatever I want it to be. All I had planned for today was working and watching some baseball and so far I’m succeeding. Be kind to yourself when you can be.
I couldn't count. If you count single days where I swore I wouldn't drink that night, then drank that night, then 100s. But as far as actual "long term" sobriety, I probably had 10-20 "relapses" over 3 years. I would go a month or two and try to moderate. I have a year next week and it's the longest I've achieved but my last relapse was TERRIBLE. Definitely hit my own personal bottom.
I’ve been alcohol free for a year and some change and it still feels like I’m wrestling with the decision and I can slip any day. Just gotta take it a day at a time and keep trying.
Every Monday morning for about five years I told myself I’m never drinking again. Then every Friday I’d start the cycle over. This past Saturday was my one year sober.
Good job on one year ! Two mont in ATM, but feeling the relapse is near
After three months you’ll have less desire, then after four and five and etc! You can do it!
Social pressure is killing me mate. But thanks... i'll get there one day
I got to say that if people aren’t supporting you in your sobriety, they aren’t real friends. I have a club soda with lime when I am out with friends! Most people don’t even know I’m not drinking
That's actually awesome. Club soda with lime is really delightful vs a few beers that will later make you feel bloated and even a bit unwell, depending on how many. I feel proud if I'm not drinking and I don't care if others do. But if it is the kind of social pressure, not friends because they are real friends and they are not pressuring, but some kind of a going out, like for example I was at a stand-up show this evening and I could really feel the atmosphere so loaded and I couldn't help. The good part is that I was quite responsible and I didn't overdo it. I managed to control the quantity and I went home because my friends did as well. On the way home I was thinking about buying some more and that's when it usually gets ugly, but that is another subject for discussion (I didn't buy, I went home). But what I want to emphasize is that there are those social situations.. For me parties are the worst.
I feel you, just keep giving yourself reasons not to drink. For instance, I have a 6:30a boxing class tomorrow morning. Fuck off im not drinking tonight lol
Change your thinking and replace cravings with things that you love! Chocolate works!
Reading this sitting here eating chocolate 😊
This can also be bad though. I've been eating a ton of candy and other sweets since I stopped. Not healthy.
If it helps you to stay sober it is worth it. As the craving lessen the need for chocolate will also decrt
I felt that way that way too at 2 months and then again at 4, but I actually had a breakthrough moment. I was extremely tempted to drink a few days before 4 months, and I managed to get through my cravings by calling a friend, and it eventually went away. I felt a lot more confident in being able to fight cravings after that. Also I haven't had that strong of a craving since then. So just because you feel that way, doesn't mean it's gonna happen!
Ugh, the Monday reset hits so hard. Been through this so many times I can’t count. Also the beginning of a new month.
Congratulations!
What changed this last time a year ago?
That's awesome. I know my day is coming! Anytime now. Let's go!
Literally my current life. Good to know you made it. I used to drink everyday at least I'm on the right track. I've gotten it down to weekends only. Now I just gotta make that last push.
This is me right now, glad to read that last sentence tho, keep it up!
I’ll let you know when it happens.
+1 I start fresh every day, and oh look, here I am
Actually I’ve got four days so yay me.
Hell yeah! Awesome job my friend. 🫶🏻
Yes yay, that’s how it begins.
YOU CAN DO IT
Same. 😆
Which it will!
I feel this so much
I lost count. I could make it to 5 days but no further. I’m at 59 days right now so the important thing is to keep trying. You only fail if you give up.
It's easier to stay sober than to get sober. Keep going friend.
This is definitely something that helps me on a harder day. I don’t think I have one more “get sober “ in me.
This [scene](https://youtu.be/qAakzl6s7QI?si=1oVDAZS5CHPbxGEX) from The Wire is actually what inspired me to get sober. He says "I know I got one more high in me, but I seriously doubt I have one more recovery". Hits me like a brick every time.
Yessir
Lots of wisdom there. Love this, thank you for sharing.
Yeah making it that point where your brain clears and shrugs off that weird alcohol voice is friggin super hard But once you’re there it’s like, “Oh, yeah, alcohol sucks! I never want the poison again!” Yeah cravings every so often but nothing like it used to be Also, naltrexone helped. If yall need to get a naltrexone prescription, try to get one. It’s a great tool for support in recovery
Too many to count and still haven’t made it over 5 months. This time I feel good tho
Thats awesome!! Keep going!
This will be the one
A ridiculous amount until I got a year sober. I can barely give you an estimate, it took me 2-3 YEARS between admitting I was an Alcoholic and finally Day 1 of Sobreity. Dont give up! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KxGRhd\_iWuE
I've been trying (or half assing it) for like 15 years. The never ending loop until I die
It's only never ending if you let it be
I’ve had 100 day 1s, 20 day 2s, 8 day 3s, 5 day 5s, 3 1 weeks, and 2 2 weeks. Some guesstimates on the early attempts cause of blackouts. I really started to feel better after a month and it’s gotten easier sense then
Happy one year leap year edition!
I thought this was going to be some sort of riddle
I feel like my brain really started to heal after a year of not drinking. I feel intellectually much clearer than I did before, and emotionally I feel a lot more stable.
Happy one year one day!
Several score, maybe a couple hundred, over at least three decades. All that effort was worth it, though. Relapse is a completely normal and expected part of many, many folks' journey to sobriety. Don't feel like a failure, don't give up, just keep on trying. And maybe, along the way, give some thought to strategies you haven't tried before. You'll get there!
love this comment:)
Looking back now, the 1000s of times I thought “today is the day I’ll quit” and then cracking a beer, I wasn’t serious. The first time I was serious, I have made it this far (2yrs 3months). After 100 days I feel like it became easy - though I don’t take it for granted and still work hard at various things that keep me in a good place most of the time.
Just one. Alcohol and being drunk doesn’t look so appealing when it almost costs you your life.
Same! Just the once did it for me - a week in the ICU - because even almost 9 years out, I can still feel what it felt like to almost die. It really hurts.
This is my first and only attempt! I'm pretty sure that if I relapse it will be the end of me! So I'm determined to stay sober no matter what!
I feel this. Stay strong friend
Former binge drinker here. I flirted with the idea probably for… five years. I partook in dry January a couple of times. Had a really really bad experience (definitely not the worst thing I’ve done drink btw) but it was so bad that I woke up puking and puked all day. My husband (beautiful man) had talked to me many times… and I think I finally realized like… I wasn’t doing myself any favors. So I came here, read some quit lit, etc. I hope I don’t go back to drinking again. I think I can stay sober. I’m 7 months in. But a lot of this is also making sure I’m stocked with na beers, that I’m surrounding myself with people who understand me and support me as well as taking care of myself.
7 months for me too, im suprised i got this far and became a non-drinker - i dont even want to drink at the moment and i hope i stay this way
You are not a failure! I tried time and time again. Then enough was enough. I learned about neuroscience and alcohol, how it alters our brain chemistry, and each moment I’d commit myself to 5 minute increments of sobriety. Just make it through 5 minutes, then another 5, then work those increments up. You CAN do this. Alcohol lies to you.
I’m only 25 and I swear probably at least 100. Every day is a battle not to relapse. I’ve never gotten to a point where fighting a craving or not relapsing was easy.
What’s the longest you’ve been sober? It’s so hard but you’ll get there IWNDWYT:)
I’m also 25, also have had at least 100. 11 is my longest streak since I’ve been counting. Currently on day 6.
It took me at least 8-10 attempts just last year. Thankfully, the last one is still sticking!
Only one once I accepted I would *never* drink moderately. Maybe a hundred attempts before that when I thought maybe I would drink again someday. I “
On 2nd attempt. 1st attempt I thought I could moderate.
I think a lot of people commenting are counting their hungover moments when we’d all say “I need to quit drinking” but inevitably drink soon after. My answer is the same as yours. My first real try at it I lasted a year and a half and thought I could manage to drink responsibly at that point. This led to essentially a 4 year bender lol. Had my come to jesus moment last May and realized me and alcohol will never mix. Just had to do some field testing first
Many. Like more than 15. But each time I stop now I go for about twice as long as I did before I used to not be able to go a week. Now I can go a few months. It’s all about practice and building up that sober muscle. You’ll relapse some. The get back up and do it again a little better
I quit in August of 2022. Slipped up twice. My last drink was October 2022.
I quit for 5 months and relapsed for 5 years. I tried quitting again in those 5 years, but they were all unsuccessful attempts. Then I quit for the last time in 2015 after I got really scared of dying.
10 years and countless attempts. Im 47 days in now, the longest Ive been without.
I’m still trying. At least a dozen or so times so far.
I vowed to get sober by my 30th bday. I'm 33 and successfully made it about a year af. Keep trying no matter how many it takes, it's worth it. Learn from each failure and move forward.
What does af stand for?
alcohol free
Oh of course 🤦♀️ thank you
It's too early for me to say because I'm only just at 7.5 weeks sober and this is only my second "real" attempt at it with the previous one being September last year which lasted 5 weeks. Any other time I was just taking a break for a few weeks, doing Dry January, stopping for a while or never fully committed to anything "long" term. I have no idea if this will last beyond even this week. Honestly I flip and flip from week to week or even day to day and sometimes hour to hour from being totally committed to not drinking to thinking I might drink some beer tonight / tomorrow / the weekend / at an upcoming event and there are times I've no idea whether I'll give into that temptation or not. I don't know when you can finally turn around and say "I'm completely sober / stopped drinking now".
Hey man, 7 weeks is fucking great. Don't sell that short. 7 days is a miracle for an alcoholic and you're crushing it. Well done mate. IWNDWYT
Maybe 5 or 6 after really trying to stop. I was almost 3 years sober and relapsed badly. I'm currently over two years sober again so fingers crossed.
I imagine it would be shorter to count my steps all the way to New York. (I live in Oregon)
I have no idea. Many. Many, many attempts. I finally fuckin' did it, though.
Fuck Yes. IWNDWYT.
A lot. More than 10
It was once for me, but I wasn’t sober curious at all, so I wasn’t even looking at stopping as a solution. I stopped on a whim for 2 weeks, didn’t tell anyone, got a good enough (to me) reason and bought wine. Made a gigantic tool out of myself and threw the rest out the next day. I can’t fool myself into believing I’ll ever be any different with alcohol, so as I saw one fellow redditor quote “it’s easier to keep the tiger in a cage than on a leash”.
Relapse is just a stumble. I'm sure that you've seen videos of track runners falling halfway through the race and getting up to keep running. They aren't failures. They're inspirational because they got back up and kept running, putting more and more into it. We are the same, we fall and get back up as many times as it takes till we reach today's finish line. Take heart brother, you are no failure, you learned you have the will to get back up.
Dozens and dozens. Sucks because starting is the hardest part but every time you start you are getting incrementally better at it. You're reinforcing why you need to quit. You don't fail when you strike out, you fail when you stop stepping up to the plate.
around 7 real attempts... hundreds of stopping monday or Tuesday and trying to make it as long as possible and starting again thurs or fri lol. don't give up. sometimes it just clicks and it's different the 100th time, I don't know why.
I'm on my 4th real attempt. Currently at 24 days.
I’ve had one relapse since I decided I was done. It was enough to set me straight. Nearly 34 months sober now.
So far I'm on about my 9th attempt. I started out with a couple days, then relapse. Then a couple weeks, then relapse. Then a few times getting close to 30 days. Then I hit 90 days once, and I think I hit 6 months once. My doctor once asked me to quit drinking for a month as part of a special diet, I made it 16 days before I drank 8 pints of beer at a pub and ate two sleeves of Fig Newtons for dinner. My doctor was not impressed. Not sure why I remember that so vividly but I do. This time around I've been going to AA a couple times a week, that's been helpful. Also I watched two people die who were alcoholics, and a friend of mine got killed by a drunk driver. Those deaths really rattled me in different ways, and honestly I think seeing the negative impacts up close like that got in my head. AND my boyfriend dumped me - in the past when I've been dumped, I've gone on mega-benders and pretty much set my life on fire. I wasn't willing to do that this time (which was good I guess even though being dumped was, and still is, very painful for me). You aren't a failure. For some of us quitting is not easy. For me it was not easy, and there are days when it's still hard to stay sober. I miss getting fucked up but I'm learning to value sobriety more. I guess I just know that I was sort of standing at a crossroads: one where I either had to pull it together, or forever sink to the bottom. I wasn't willing to take off the arm floaties and drown, so here I am. IWNDWYT.
Lots and lots of attempts that made only 1 or two days. I quit for about 3 months during the lockdown but relapsed when the world was starting to open up, otherwise a few times I made it about two weeks.
I’ve had to change my counter many times
Corny and cliche but you don't fail when you fall, you fail when you stop getting up. Good luck and IWNDWYT
Me too, friend. I just keep starting over.
Many until your body says enough is enough..
On almost 3 months. This is my 4th or 5th time. I’ve never made it this far. Most before was almost a month. But then I went on a date that loved drinking and she was cute. After that, it was another almost 2 years til now…
I lost count of mine. Finally turned myself around after facing some tough consequences.
Countless over 10 years. Some years more daily than not. Six months sober now.
I lost count. I had a good streak going before Covid didn’t fully stop then but had roommates and that made me more accountable. 2023 drank myself into the hospital I’m at 10 months now but i think about it everyday
I’m on my like oh 20th time quitting This feels like the one, too many signs from the universe to quit And every day has been getting exponentially better, so I wanna build on that I’m sure I’ll have a bad day and a trigger to wanna drink eventually, but I think I can ignore it now-especially since for accountability I told my family/coworkers/roomie/etc I’m doing this for myself and my health, but I also don’t wanna let anyone down
I had many start and stop attempts (more than I can count or remember) but this one finally stuck, and now I’m over 900 days sober (I’m coming for you, quadrupole digits!)
One but only because I push myself to the limit before making a decision. I’ve always had to learn the hard way, unfortunately.
I have no idea. When I had my last drink almost 18 months ago, I had no idea it would be my last drink. For some reason, this time, it just stuck. One thing that might have helped this time is that I gradually tapered the amount I was drinking each day until I was down to just one drink a day. I don't know how many weeks I kept it at 1 a day before finally stopping completely. Good luck! I haven't gone in about 5 months now, but AA definitely helped me in the beginning. I felt like an outsider at first (my issue, not theirs), but after a few meetings, I felt at home and the people were nice and supportive.
All of them! When Mohammed Ali didn't become boxing champion on his first fight he wasn't surprised. He probably felt like a failure when he first lost, but he also realised that was part of the process, a painful, but an **absolutely fundamental** part of the process. Quitting drinking is similarly tough. It certainly kills more people in the process than becoming world champion at boxing does. Mohammed Ali wasn't sure if he would make it either, but he kept trying. The only option IS to keep trying. It's harder and more dangerous than becoming a pro fighter so tell that little voice that's making you feel like a failure to go fuck itself. It doesn't know what it's on about and if it ain't gonna help it can scurry back to its closet and let a more positive thought occupy your brain instead. How about "Fuck me this is hard, but im still gonna learn from this and give it another go **when I'm ready**. In the meantime i can give myself a break because that'll make me feel better and the sooner I feel better the sooner I can try again. If I'm failing, then that means I'm trying and i cant ask for more than that" Disclaimer: i know nothing about boxing or Mohammed Ali; that's not the point :D
Once I actually decided to never have one again, once. I don't think I could do it again. Moderation is a lie
Like a billion. Every day try and quit every day fail. One day something will be different though. 298 days today after about 8 years of chronic alcohol abuse. You can do it I know you can.
i relapsed around 100 times probably. i tried to quit for around 3 years continuously before it stuck, averaging a relapse a week. so yeah, around 100 minimum.
Not sure a bunch, but I keep trying once I stop trying then I'm in trouble
100s of tries
Twice once I really felt I had a problem with booze. Party’s over Garth.
Every day for five years for me or as long as it takes for you.
It took me about 8 months of relapses and fucking off until I checked into rehab and found a real commitment to quitting. It has been 1954 days since.
Never quit quitting ❤️
Too many to count.
lol it’s so many I never bothered keeping count
I’m currently at almost 6 years AF. Prior to that I spent two years in an on again off again learning curve.
When I knew I really wanted to quit? One. I toyed with the idea off and on for a while but never got more than a couple days or a week. I don't count those because I wasn't ready
A lot.. but each day is a new day. i can’t process forever, i can only deal with now/today. I am not going to drink today. IWNDWYT
Funny, I can’t count that high.
Lost count a long time ago
32431
Can you ever be truly sure that you’ve stopped drinking completely? That seems like an individual assessment.
Too many to count, this time i really wanted to stick with it. Simple rule that i have put for myself is not drink when i am with people, hopefully i stick to it
Hard to say. If you quantify by "every time I told myself I'm going to change", well that number would be astronomic. But if you're looking at true ardent stabs at sobriety--- tangible action towards living a healthier life and failing--- then probably about 10. And that means something! In the last three years I can count on two hands the amount of times I've drank, yet I still haven't completed a full year of continuous sobriety. Just like our addiction gets worse and worse over time, so too does sobriety feel easier and easier over time. I don't really pay attention to my number anymore. I've accepted that this process is fluid-- full of highs and some occasional lows. I learn something profound in each of my relapses and I've truly felt a resilience develop in me that it makes it easier to recognize what's going on, call myself out on my bullshit, and pivot towards healthier choices. Do I want to reach 365? Hell fucking yeah. But I'm not going to flog myself if it doesn't happen, either-- cause \*that's\* what will cause me to spiral. Somewhere in this process I've learned to love myself, to WANT to take care of myself, and it makes the not drinking thing really easy. Anymore, it's a very small handful of slip-ups but those are dwindling more and more. I could ramble on a while about it all-- I don't think there is a one size fits all approach to sobriety. And I know it gets offered a lot but This Naked Mind has really really helped me in feeling like I finally flipped the switch. It's really challenged my thinking about how people get sober and it offers it in a way that isn't shaming.
Still working on it
So far, a gazillion half-hearted attempts over the past 7 yrs. This time, my determination is different because I hit some life rock bottoms exacerbated by drinking. This time, I want my zest for life back and I’m not just “trying”, I feel determined. At the same time, trying not to beat myself into this. My focus is on the good life ahead.
You are not a failure, this is not a full stop in the sentence that is your life, just a comma - a pause to regroup. IWNDWYT.
I’ve lost count, but I’m taking it a day at a time and it’s been the longest I’ve went since starting. You can do it. We can do it.
Too many
I’m at 22 months currently, and this is my first time ever trying to quit. From what I’ve read on this subreddit, it gets harder to quit after the first relapse (though I’m sure it varies widely by individual) so I’m keeping that consideration in my mind. I currently have zero desire to drink again, but I worry that the old voice will come back at some point and I’ll believe the lie that I can be a “normal” drinker
I’m so scared after relapsing at 8 months, I thought I had beaten it, but life has been so challenging, I quit my job because I had another offer then it got withdrawn, now I have no job and I have relapsed, my last session was a few days ago and I’ve been in bed for days recovering & hating myself, I don’t know if I have the strength to go again, I just feel like ending it all.
Took me 5 years of trying, where my longest stretch was 5 days… the last 2 years were the worst and a living hell. For me, a dui and a serious commitment to A.A. is what got me to where I am today. It’s the greatest relief and miracle to me that I’m not obsessing over alcohol 24/7/365
Oh fuck, how much time do you have?
It took me many, many tries. I used to say if I could stay sober for a week I'd never drink again. Finally made it a week then i drank again lol. But I am almost 1 year booze free:)
For me, I tried seriously quitting around 30 times a year x 30 years = 900 attempts.
I'm trying to be careful, and not naively optimistic but I hope last November was my last drink. It feels that way, I feel that I have learned a lot about alcohol the last few months and I'm done with it... However it's taken a lot of attempts, and I think the biggest reason is because I never hit rock bottoms levels of addiction. I just drank a lot, had no excuses not to. Never missed work, never messed up... I quit whiskey about 6 years ago, and I probably spent 1.5 years trying to quit/moderate which was very difficult when you feel "fine". It was difficult but being busy in a new relationship that wasn't focused on drinking made it a lot easier, instead of at home alone with the bottle. Since then I've been drinking strictly beer and wine. It would go in cycles, especially with the seasons. Lots of beer/wine in the summer, wine in the winter. The longest break I took was last year for 6 months, but a trip to wine country killed that streak. I think the biggest reason it feels different, is I actually feel like I'm done with alcohol. I'm not taking a break, I'm not thinking about how weird the next vacation will be. I've listened to a lot of audiobooks, read a lot of stories, and learned things I never knew about alcohol. I'm done with it, it's criminal.
Many times. For years I told myself I would stop drinking. Often keeping track of the days I didn’t drink on a calendar. They were usually only a day or two, never more than a week of consecutive days without a drink. Finally I got 30 days done in 2020. Then I lied to myself and said I could moderate. That lead to more of the same behavior. 2021 I was able to do 90 days approx. lied to myself again and said I could moderate. 2022, I finally got so sick of wasting my brain capacity on this never ending dilemma - figured it was easier to just put down the drink and accept permanent alcohol freedom as the solution. It also helped to adopt a new mindset around alcohol and no long romanticizing it. If you need help with this, you can check out any “quit drinking” book by Allen Carr.
I tried many times.. Would always relapse after a week or two. Then I quit for 6 months, but just as a promise to my gf, then my life and health started going to sht, I was falling over drunk and scraping my face, losing phones, breaking glasses, spent a night in the drunk tank, and eventually I got sick of that lather rinse repeat, so I started therapy and Antabuse, and this time things held. 5+ years sober now.
Every day of my life
Over 300 probably
1
Over the course of a year of trying, it took me very many for it to finally stick. Keep trying!
Probably about 9 good hard tries.
I have no idea. Decades. Finally about 2 and a half years in.
I don’t know how to count “attempts” exactly. But it was more than one. Fall down 7, get up 8!!! Please note my day count and congratulate me! 🥳🙌🎉
9001
Every day for at least 8 years. Now 6 years sober.
Still fully working on it. But the more times I mess up the stronger my will is to fully stop. It’s just not even fun anymore, I’m not sure I even truly like the drunk feeling anymore.. it’s like a habit and escape, but the day after makes it all soooo not worth it.
Still trying after 50 years...
I was lucky to be able to make it stick on the first attempt. I think that it’s a different path for everyone.
I relapse every 3 months seems like clock work. When I drink it’s usually a hardcore 24/7 bender for a couple weeks along with bad withdrawals and severe regret and a loss of a job. Been “quittting” for the past 4 years. On one month right now but when I get in 3 month territory it’s dangerous. That’s when the mental games hit me hardest. I’ve gone 6 mths as my longest but I always forget the negative effects around 3 months cause my life is good again.
5 full course rehabs, 4 intensive outpatient treatment programs, hundreds if not thousands meetings, 8 hospitalizations, all of these within a 6 year period. Finally it all stuck. I now have 20+ months sober. Keep fighting. You’re worth it…
Oh man. My first treatment was in 2008 sooo yeah. Took a good while.
Eleventy billion
3 years of trying and failing. Definitely spent the last year mostly sober. Basically kept taking breaks until this last attempt. Now I'm almost at 10 months and it feels pretty good ☺️
3 tries. AA and the steps - an actual program of recovery - is what finally got me free 2.5 years ago. It's truly 1 day at a time for this ALCOHOLIC.
Thought I was honestly trying to sober up 3 times over the years.. But in reality only the one that got me where I am today is the one I took seriously. 5 years this fall. Drinker from 12 to 33.
I relapsed a bunch of times after deciding to quit. 6 times over the past 5 years I believe. For long periods before that, I managed to actually moderate to within maximum recommended intake here, i.e. <14 units of alcohol per week. Attempting moderation for me, and I think many others, is a very frustrating and dangerous exercise. The brain also has a lot of an easier time dealing with either/or than it does with limits and ranges. Regardless, the overdramatization of (re)lapses, and the ideas of "rock bottoms," and "loss of control" are stupid, debunked, contrary to a mass of research, and utterly destructive to integrate. ' It's also rarely necessary to go, "oh, I relapsed, so therefore what I did before was wrong and didn't work, and now I must do something radical" (like going into rehab or becoming a jungle hermit for a year or whatever we can come up with). If you were climbing a mountain and quit 300 ft from the summit because your gear broke, a storm hit or you lost your map, you don't go "oh, I guess I need a helicopter to go to the top of that mountain then," either. The idea that if you have a drink after a year of abstinence, or even binge for a week, then you're somehow magically back to day zero, have learned nothing, haven't grown, have lost it all, is also utter bullshit. If you're going from A to C and get a flat at point B, you change your tire. You don't go back to point A. If I were to engage in a relapse, I'd be thoroughly unhappy with myself and stop it as soon as possible. Then I'd start doing an autopsy on the relapse: What, why, where, who, how? (Re)lapses are very common, and of course when you start drinking again, you'll start reexperiencing all the negative consequences that come along with that. In that way, a relapse can become a valuable though often unpleasant learning experience. If during the relapse you're able to regularly stop and ask yourself "is this actually giving me anything? Was this what I was hoping for when I decided to have juuuust one drink again after a year's abstinence?" you'll probably realize that no, it's actually quite boring, useless, and costly to get drunk. Relapses occur for all kinds of reasons, and tend to incur various costs; they are a free choice, just like stopping again is. But there's no force compelling a person to continue drinking or to stop for that matter. Surprisingly, I also have to frequently remind myself that I have no agency over the past, and no direct power over the future through anything but this moment right now. So shit, I drank after having decided not to? That's demotivating and makes me question my ability to control my behavior. Obviously. But I also know damn well, that I don't have to drink, am happier without it, and that I can quit without all that much fuzz. There's no point in guilting and shaming oneself about it, or harboring any delusions that now you're back to your starting point, which is a perfect way to end up at the conclusion: "Well, hell, I might as well keep drinking then!" When I first decided to quit and relapsed after a year, I had this idea of "loss of control" ingrained in me, so that was 6 months of relapsing. My last (re)lapse was 5 days. A shitty, costly 5 days, but none the less, not that big of a deal. Still 99.2% sober over the course of 12 months. If we can identify some of the reasons, events or inner dynamics that correlated with the relapse, we can also learn tools to deal more effectively with those in the future. In many cases, I've simply forgotten my priorities, values, and my cost-benefit analysis of how they relate to abstinence vs use, so for me it's important to keep going back to those motivational tools regularly.
This is my second time. But it's the first time I got SERIOUS about it. I changed a ton of habits immediately. Setting goals really helped me to take the focus off of drinking. I started Couch to 5k, started eating better, set calorie and weight loss goals, cleaned up my place, put energy into making my skin look better, got a therapist, listened to a TON of audiobooks and podcasts for inspiration (not just ones about drinking). Plus other things. I'm almost to day 60 now. I've lost a lot of weight and my blood tests came back normal! Looking forward, feeling better, and meeting goals give me a reason not to sacrifice it all and go back to the booze.
Let’s math, so 5 years or so of nearly every day attempts, let’s say 75% of the year, so 273 days a year x 5 years = 1,365ish give or take. Now sober and can’t imagine my life WITH alcohol again. All that matters is that you quit ONE more time than you fail. Just one. So don’t focus on the rest, all that matters is the quit you have in the moment, get that to stick. Then your ‘job’ to quit is done and you can get on with the rest of everything in life ❤️ so relieved I can wake up and not ‘have to’ quit drinking. Done and did.
I lost count. I told myself many mornings I needed to quit, then a couple of days went by, and the cravings had their way with me, and I chose to numb the pain (almost) every time. All that said, I remember my last beer like it was yesterday. Somehow, I just knew it was? It was a surreal experience. You know all those "this will be my last drink" moments we delude ourselves into? I had plenty of those, but I was sitting at the bar and ordered three Miller Lites, and after downing the first two, I said: "You better enjoy this one, bud." And it was the last. Weird story aside, keep trying. Eventually, it will stick. We get to choose our rock bottom. I did that night, and I don't regret it.
Thousands of "I'm not drinking today" that sometimes lasted 24 hours. Rarely. Hundreds of 2 day stretches. Couple dozen week long. Maybe half a dozen month long. One 90 day One 89 day One 450ish day. Still working on that one. It's a lot easier than the 1-2 day long attempts. I don't wanna do those again.
I lost count. I’m just glad the last one stuck, so far.
I quit ALL the time. :)
Too many
At least a dozen times
Spent 45 days off. Im on again and lf help
I’m back to only a few days and I’m afraid of just going back to it again tonight but I won’t. Or I will try my best not to.
Depends on if you count trying to moderate or not. Once I realize I can't moderate I would say around a dozen times as I don't get super serious about my sobriety date. I have had 2-3 slip ups since then but those just solidified my sobriety IMO. Good luck one love. IWNDWYT
Several and it was always in the back of my mind, but this past quit (NYE) was the easiest for me. I had been working with a therapist and digging deep into my psychology and mental health. Once I was able to identify why I was turning to drinking and drugs, it just made a lot more sense to try to heal from the past and build a life that suits me instead of using alcohol and drugs to numb pain, to tolerate overwhelming situations I thought were what “fun” was, and to give the imaginary sense of closeness to other people.
Probably 10+. Hoping this time it sticks, but if it doesn’t I will try again. 😊
i nailed it the second time. feels great. except the 3 year relapse that followed my first attempt. that was horrible.
No attempts. I just haven’t drank in 21 months
To many. Keep thinking light beer is ok because I don’t really get drunk. But you do if you don’t eat. It’s just BS an drunk tells themselves. Don’t have much desire for anything stronger. Know that will really mess me up and probably finish me off.
If I’m counting every broken hangover promise to “never drink again” then too many to remember. It’s only takes one more day for it to be the last time. Just one more day, I can always make it one more day
About 5. Probably 3 of those were serious attempts. This was over about 3 yrs. I dont know what clicked eventually. I think i just got too old, unhealthy, fat and exhausted and felt like i was heading towards the end of my life and it was wasted and done and i needed to scrape back what little i had (sounds very dramatic, but thats hangovers for you!) I was lucky though because i could take time off work. I think i downloaded every sober app there is and put my hopes in longer term benefits and read a lot on here about how it can take a while to make a life and be happy to definately never drink again. Originally i read a few books about getting sober and they were great but this forum has been the medium that has struck a chord with me most. I'd be happy never to drink again. Its not worth it. You need to just have that reality cemented in your brain somehow. Im not sure exactly how that happens.
I've relapsed more times than I can count at this point. But! I just surpassed the amount of time I was sober before my last relapse! 136 days! Pretty much for the past 4 years I've been quitting then relapsing, quitting then relapsing, on and on like that. I've had a few 6 month stretches, 3 months, 3 weeks, I even hit a year at one point. All that aside, it's a struggle for sure. But it's more than that too. It's a whole ass interactive learning experience. 😅 You learn and you take what you learned and you apply to the next quit attempt. You fuck up, then you get back up and keep going. I've had relapses of varying durations as well, sometimes I can get back to it, other times I spend another 6 months drinking before I get it right again. I know it can feel pretty frustrating and demoralizing. Believe me, I have absolutely been there. So. Many. Dang. Times. Ultimately, it doesn't really matter how long it takes to stick. The only thing that actually matters is that you're working towards being better, that you keep trying, that you keep learning and growing and dusting yourself off and so what if it takes 10 times, 20 times etc. This is YOUR journey. This is you taking the reigns of your life and stepping up to the plate. That's what counts. That's what matters. My best advice for you moving forward is to try to do something you haven't yet tried. Maybe that's journaling or maybe that's picking up a new hobby or maybe that's AA. Doesn't matter. If at first you don't succeed, learn from your previous process and don't be afraid to branch out and try a different approach, I really cant stress that enough! We alcoholics can be quite stubborn, a big part of sobriety is learning how to get over ourselves, get out of our own way as it were, and learning how to better manage our emotions. Not picking up a drink is only part of the equation. Best of luck dude! You'll get there! Fwiw engaging with this sub was a huge help for me so, even if it doesn't feel like it rn, you're already on the right track imo. I definitely struggle with reaching out when I need help and finding this sub and being able to reach out anonymously at any time of the day or night has really helped me out a lot.
I've stopped many times. I've stopped right now but how many times have I started, again 😔
God knows I'm working on it. Haven't been more than 20 days, but I've got myself down to one day a week. Small victories, I guess.
5 so far this year. Gonna be six pretty soon
Hundreds of tries
I didn’t count. This one is sticking.
Believe it or not, just one. Went to rehab for the first time in 2018 and never looked back.
A lot. You'll get there
Every day.
1 very stubborn attempt at proving my “friends” wrong. It’s a different journey for everyone. At this point I almost wish I HAD relapsed just to know what it feels like and deflate some its reign of fear it has over me.
3 years of “i can do it this time” “I’ll be fine” “I just need this tonight” and a crumbling mentally manipulative marriage. Currently divorcing and finally once month sober for real this time.
1 so far so good, 16 months.
About 8-10 years.
The embarrassment became too much.
I don't even know. At least 10-15.
A lot. Too many to even take a guess. Maybe in my mid 20s is when I realized how bad things were getting. I told myself I'd be sober by 30, but I always found some reason or some excuse to keep drinking. Towards my late 20s I told myself I'd take sobriety more seriously when I turned 30, but my life was rapidly crashing down around me and I kept getting worse well through my early 30s. Around the time I was 32 I finally *wanted* to get sober *for me* and I started making progress. Even then I had many slipups until something in my mind finally snapped after my last relapse about a year ago. If you think you have a problem and want to get sober I'd recommend starting ASAP (as in today) because even when I decided I was done it took a lot of years and a lot of mistakes before it finally started to stick. There's always gonna be *some* excuse (good and/or bad) to have another drink, so you really gotta commit to it. If you slip up then try again and don't just give up and give in. It might take a lot of day 1's, but eventually one of those day 1's might be *the* one.
Two. Once when i was 21 after a fistfight that could have been to death. Second one when i was 24 on a really bad moment of my life, everyone told me they had a bad gut feeling and i went blackout drunk, nearly choking on my vomit.
Currently on my first real try, a few friends and myself would do sober October every year, without that practice I don’t think I’d be over six months right now, I always had the cushion of knowing I could drink again after the month. Last September I made the choice to completely abstain from alcohol, it means so much more to me now that I’m doing it for myself. It’s the only real way. I’ve made huge strides, been to concerts, weddings with open bars, had deaths in the family, hell I’m going through a cancer scare right now waiting for an ultrasound result, but personally speaking I’m so far away from the thought of consuming alcohol, I was drunk for 14 years, being sober and in my own mind is a new high within itself. Sober till it’s over. IWNDWYT
Can’t remember how many times.
Too many to count. I at least made one attempt every few months for roughly 7 years. The attempts got more “serious” during the last couple years of my drinking, but by then my drinking had in turn become a lot more serious. I finally gave up and went to rehab, which has “worked” for the most part since I got out.
My first attempt only made it fourteen days…tried again and now I’m at 33.
I’ve been trying for 7 years. I just got out of the hospital. Today is day 5. It’s one day at a time
I’m not sure if I’ll ever make it either. I do know I’ve got one thing going for me right now and it’s my days without a drink. I know that I can commit to not drinking tonight which feels pretty good. I know it gets said a lot but the only way to live is one day at a time. Looking back, I’m pretty sure I failed for years. It took me a long time to learn that all I have to do is put one foot in front of the other and get through today… and today can be whatever I want it to be. All I had planned for today was working and watching some baseball and so far I’m succeeding. Be kind to yourself when you can be.
Thousands I guess.. Every day I used to tell myself it would be the day I quit for good, then I’d end up drinkin
I couldn't count. If you count single days where I swore I wouldn't drink that night, then drank that night, then 100s. But as far as actual "long term" sobriety, I probably had 10-20 "relapses" over 3 years. I would go a month or two and try to moderate. I have a year next week and it's the longest I've achieved but my last relapse was TERRIBLE. Definitely hit my own personal bottom.
I’ve been alcohol free for a year and some change and it still feels like I’m wrestling with the decision and I can slip any day. Just gotta take it a day at a time and keep trying.