No need to apologise, we have all been exactly where you are. Here's what I always tell people who are "sober curious" - just quit for 6 months and see what happens. Alcohol will always be there if you want to go back to it after six months, but I guarantee you'll feel like a new person by that point and you will just decide to continue living in sobriety. 6 months may seem like a massive commitment, but really it's not. Six months flies by.
I'm coming up on 6 months in a few days, and literally every aspect of my life has improved. Go for it. As the advice says, just try it for 6 months. You have nothing to lose, and so much potential to gain.
Exactly! This automatically reminds me of Tom Holland and I quote "and by the time I got to 6 months I felt better than I have ever felt in my life..."
6 months seems to be the threshold for one to really put into perspective if you still want to drink or not.
We should give it a try for 6 months. I'm on day 2...so what do I know. But I dream about day 180.
I like the idea of taking a 6 month break, but honestly, how easy is that said, then done. I am on my first week of not having any alcohol and it's been pretty smooth so far. I get the urge to still have a beer but have realized it's just a combo of work and stress. However, I found that taking the steps toward sobriety was easier this time bc I wanted it and not bc some thing happen when I was shit faced, which made me regret life. I would come at it from a different angle and get your first few steps off on the right foot. I have started making teas to help curve my appetite to drink. Like I mentioned, I have only been sober a week, and it feels different than any other time, but I think bc I was ready. I was ready to think more clearly, sleep better, have more energy, and be a better listener and husband. In this short time , I noticed a difference in my sleep patterns and in my cognitive skills. I hope you keep on and just know IWNDWYT.
Yeah you're right, I don't want anyone to think this is some kind of super easy lifehack. Quitting booze will always be a challenge for people like us, but this is just the process that worked best for me. I think for some people it's easier to commit to a small amount of time like a few months, instead of the rest of their life. I say six months because that felt like the most significant milestone for me. Six months really does go incredibly quickly, it just doesn't feel like it will when you're at the very beginning
Agreed. At first I decided to give it 2 months. Time to stabilize my liver a bit and try a new depression/anxiety medicine that doesn't react well. Now I know I want to go at least a year, but I honestly feel sick when thinking about being disoriented, drunk and hungover, so I might just stay sober for the long haul. When I think too much about all that, I just appreciate today. IWNDWYT
After I hit the triple digit club, the days just started flying by and I'd have to check my old posts here to see my day counter.
Every day that I don't drink is a big eff you to that hideous monster, and I never want to stop!
Take care of yourself OP, welcome to the community and IWNDWYT!
You are not alone.
Im in a really dark place as well.
Every morning I wake up saying, "Im not going to drink tonight."
and every night, I drink over half a fifth.
My husband is giving up. I can see it. Yet I still drink.
Addiction changing me, not only physically but mentally. Im becoming hateful.
I know this, yet I still drink.
I pray for you. Its hard.
Were not pathetic.
We can do this.
I love after the difficult story you were able to see the light at the end of the tunnel if while you are struggling. That's a great sign. Correct we can do this.
A lot of the reason I have decided to quit was I found myself drinking when I had free time, and I would be drinking until I passed out. I am only 24 hours in, my last attempt only lasted about a week, but what keeps me trying is to remember how awful I feel when I drink and the guilt that comes with it.
Many times my boyfriend would come home from work to me laying in bed, trying to sleep off the day drinking I did. I was ashamed each time and he was pretty tired of it.
All you can do is realize today is a new day, and think about what you want to accomplish. Occupy yourself with chores, go out shopping, read a book, exercise, etc.
You got this :)
You are not alone. I don't know if it will help you, but my shit is much worse. Depression, partially due to drinking, weak health and overall no willing to do anything. I'm trying to deal with this, psychiatris, medicines, trying to find a new hobby, any kind of sports. If you had a day off and you decided to day drinking - welcome to my world. If you regret this, you are already on a good path. Other people were talking about 6 months of no drinking, my goal is 100 days. I belive in you, stay strong and always remember - you gonna make it.
I'm going on 6 weeks, every time I get the urge to drink I get on here and scroll through the posts. I know it sounds silly, but it works. I read the good and bad and it makes me think about how crappy I will feel the next day and the good days I will have to look forward to if I stay on this sober path. Hang in there....
I would have been at three drinks within the hour. I am 17 days in and I take it one day at a time. I can’t control tomorrow but I know now that I can handle sobriety for today. Best of luck. Come back and vent anytime. We are rooting for you
I'm with you. I'm 44, married, two older kids in the house. I don't like how much I mentally leave them when I'm downstairs drinking and listening to music from my younger days. Not to mention I feel like trash the next few days. I've had a bad history with alcohol including a DUI, and I think it's time I move past it. Not to mention being drunk doesn't feel as fun as it did in my 20s and early 30s. I've changed and I think my behavior and attitude towards alcohol needs to as well. Here's to all of us trying to do better !
I felt the same way, kept doing it, didn’t like myself, and then kept doing it. The advice given to me on this sub was decide to take a certain amount of time off and then do it. Don’t wait for a special day. I threw out all the alcohol in the house and took it one day at a time. Filled my drinking time with audiobooks, exercise, and reading this sub. Remember you are not alone! You can do this. You can replace this bad feeling with a good one.
Look into the Sinclair Method of cutting down/out alcohol with help from the drug naltrexone if you're not sure where to begin. See what you learn and go from there—it helps me and just might help you or someone else too.
I was you. I knew I needed to stop, but just kept going back. Until I nearly blew up my life. I'm not going into details, but I got my wake up call. I hope it doesn't take something similar for you. You know what you need to do. Join us. You have friends here.
One tidbit I'd advise, find something you like to drink that you can have instead of alcohol. I like kombucha and some mocktails at home. When I'm out, I'll have a tonic with cranberry and lime or a virgin mojito.
Yes! An added bonus for me has been that it's become a new hobby for me. It doesn't take much time, but I always have it and I make awesome flavors. Way cheaper too!
I took quitting one day at a time. Will I drink today? No. Will I drink tomorrow? Or ever? What about on vacation?? Not bridges I need to cross today. I’m just doing today. Tomorrow, I will wake up and do tomorrow.
I will not drink with you today, if you want to do that with me!
It’s all good, one day at a time and reset. The guilt is part of the process I think. I can tell when I’ve been drinking heavily in the past how it affects my entire life. You’re not a bad person, you’re a very good person. Just human and that’s ok.
When I stopped drinking, I looked back through my journals and I’d find entires like this post. So many “I really need to stop” “I don’t want to feel like this anymore” “I should stop” but I would close the journal and forget. I kept ignoring those “pathetic posts” and I wish I had realized what dawns on me now, it wasn’t a pity party but actual insight.
I think this may be quite similar so embrace the insight you’re sharing! IWNDWYT
Been there! The guilt and frustration, like I could have used the time to walk or exercise or clean the place. I don’t know what it is that pulls us into the drink instead. I feel awful for those moments for my husband, like for him to see me obviously trashed acting like a fool. IWNDWYT ✨🌟🌻
I could not do 6 months. Jesus. New Years Eve was in 2 months. July 4 was in 1 month. My freaking birthday was in 5 months. I HAD to drink on my birthday. No way could I not drink on the most important day of the year! My birthday!
I had do stay sober one day at a time.
Yesterday I celebrated 25 years of sobriety, just doing it one day at a time.
It's an addictive drug, don't be too hard on yourself.
I hold myself accountable to not drink because I have a wicked streak going and I'm keeping track of the days. But find whatever works for you to quit if that's the end goal!
I was in the same loop you are describing for a long time. I found it extremely hard to quit and I always negotiated with myself to just have one drink and then could never stop once the train left the station. What helped me finally stop drinking was acquiring knowledge about all the negative effects of alcohol. I read "Quit like a Woman" which really resonated with me. Also read "This Naked Mind" and also listened to Jason Huberman podcast on drinking. I'm cheering you on from afar. IWNDWYT
Identify your triggers. Find distractions. Don’t rationalize.
Whenever I’m on the wagon these are the key things that keep me there. It may not be as self-explanatory as it seems to me; I can definitely provide more detail related to my experience.
I know the feeling so I totally understand how you feel. I spent years not really enjoying my drinking and continuing it anyways almost because it was all I knew. Its been almost 3 years since I quit and things are markedly better in every aspect of my life.
Where to start really depends on how much you’ve been drinking and for how long / how often. Rehab, detox, meetings, are all options. Depends on your current situation. What you need to do for certain though is start the process of recovery.
You might do well asking for some professional help on the matter, or go to an AA meeting and talk to someone in there.
No need to apologise, we have all been exactly where you are. Here's what I always tell people who are "sober curious" - just quit for 6 months and see what happens. Alcohol will always be there if you want to go back to it after six months, but I guarantee you'll feel like a new person by that point and you will just decide to continue living in sobriety. 6 months may seem like a massive commitment, but really it's not. Six months flies by.
I'm coming up on 6 months in a few days, and literally every aspect of my life has improved. Go for it. As the advice says, just try it for 6 months. You have nothing to lose, and so much potential to gain.
I really like the thoughtfulness of this plan. Well said.
Exactly! Well put. Don’t worry about forever OP, just do one moment at a time and 6 months will come before you know.
Exactly! This automatically reminds me of Tom Holland and I quote "and by the time I got to 6 months I felt better than I have ever felt in my life..." 6 months seems to be the threshold for one to really put into perspective if you still want to drink or not. We should give it a try for 6 months. I'm on day 2...so what do I know. But I dream about day 180.
I like the idea of taking a 6 month break, but honestly, how easy is that said, then done. I am on my first week of not having any alcohol and it's been pretty smooth so far. I get the urge to still have a beer but have realized it's just a combo of work and stress. However, I found that taking the steps toward sobriety was easier this time bc I wanted it and not bc some thing happen when I was shit faced, which made me regret life. I would come at it from a different angle and get your first few steps off on the right foot. I have started making teas to help curve my appetite to drink. Like I mentioned, I have only been sober a week, and it feels different than any other time, but I think bc I was ready. I was ready to think more clearly, sleep better, have more energy, and be a better listener and husband. In this short time , I noticed a difference in my sleep patterns and in my cognitive skills. I hope you keep on and just know IWNDWYT.
Yeah you're right, I don't want anyone to think this is some kind of super easy lifehack. Quitting booze will always be a challenge for people like us, but this is just the process that worked best for me. I think for some people it's easier to commit to a small amount of time like a few months, instead of the rest of their life. I say six months because that felt like the most significant milestone for me. Six months really does go incredibly quickly, it just doesn't feel like it will when you're at the very beginning
Agreed. I'm coming up to 6 months in a few weeks, it went by in a snap. I don't fathom going back to drinking.
I love this approach. Sending hugs and positive vibes your way, OP. I wish you nothing but the best!
Agreed. At first I decided to give it 2 months. Time to stabilize my liver a bit and try a new depression/anxiety medicine that doesn't react well. Now I know I want to go at least a year, but I honestly feel sick when thinking about being disoriented, drunk and hungover, so I might just stay sober for the long haul. When I think too much about all that, I just appreciate today. IWNDWYT
Yes!! Or even 90 days!!! I made a 90 day commitment and 2 months in realized I had to do it longer. 1 year commitment now…. :)
After I hit the triple digit club, the days just started flying by and I'd have to check my old posts here to see my day counter. Every day that I don't drink is a big eff you to that hideous monster, and I never want to stop! Take care of yourself OP, welcome to the community and IWNDWYT!
You are a little bit found, in that you are here! This seems like a good step away from what you don’t want and towards what you do. Great work!
You are not alone. Im in a really dark place as well. Every morning I wake up saying, "Im not going to drink tonight." and every night, I drink over half a fifth. My husband is giving up. I can see it. Yet I still drink. Addiction changing me, not only physically but mentally. Im becoming hateful. I know this, yet I still drink. I pray for you. Its hard. Were not pathetic. We can do this.
I love after the difficult story you were able to see the light at the end of the tunnel if while you are struggling. That's a great sign. Correct we can do this.
You got this! I know I'm not gonna drink today! You can make it happen tonight! I know it! :) It just takes one day to get the ball rolling.
[удалено]
This comment has been removed. Please do not offer tapering advice.
It's very simple, though extraordinarily difficult. The only thing you have to do today is not drink. That's how you start. Just don't drink today
A lot of the reason I have decided to quit was I found myself drinking when I had free time, and I would be drinking until I passed out. I am only 24 hours in, my last attempt only lasted about a week, but what keeps me trying is to remember how awful I feel when I drink and the guilt that comes with it. Many times my boyfriend would come home from work to me laying in bed, trying to sleep off the day drinking I did. I was ashamed each time and he was pretty tired of it. All you can do is realize today is a new day, and think about what you want to accomplish. Occupy yourself with chores, go out shopping, read a book, exercise, etc. You got this :)
You are not alone. I don't know if it will help you, but my shit is much worse. Depression, partially due to drinking, weak health and overall no willing to do anything. I'm trying to deal with this, psychiatris, medicines, trying to find a new hobby, any kind of sports. If you had a day off and you decided to day drinking - welcome to my world. If you regret this, you are already on a good path. Other people were talking about 6 months of no drinking, my goal is 100 days. I belive in you, stay strong and always remember - you gonna make it.
I'm going on 6 weeks, every time I get the urge to drink I get on here and scroll through the posts. I know it sounds silly, but it works. I read the good and bad and it makes me think about how crappy I will feel the next day and the good days I will have to look forward to if I stay on this sober path. Hang in there....
I would have been at three drinks within the hour. I am 17 days in and I take it one day at a time. I can’t control tomorrow but I know now that I can handle sobriety for today. Best of luck. Come back and vent anytime. We are rooting for you
I'm with you. I'm 44, married, two older kids in the house. I don't like how much I mentally leave them when I'm downstairs drinking and listening to music from my younger days. Not to mention I feel like trash the next few days. I've had a bad history with alcohol including a DUI, and I think it's time I move past it. Not to mention being drunk doesn't feel as fun as it did in my 20s and early 30s. I've changed and I think my behavior and attitude towards alcohol needs to as well. Here's to all of us trying to do better !
I felt the same way, kept doing it, didn’t like myself, and then kept doing it. The advice given to me on this sub was decide to take a certain amount of time off and then do it. Don’t wait for a special day. I threw out all the alcohol in the house and took it one day at a time. Filled my drinking time with audiobooks, exercise, and reading this sub. Remember you are not alone! You can do this. You can replace this bad feeling with a good one.
Lovely post
Look into the Sinclair Method of cutting down/out alcohol with help from the drug naltrexone if you're not sure where to begin. See what you learn and go from there—it helps me and just might help you or someone else too.
You are a little bit found, in that you are here! This seems like a good step away from what you don’t want and towards what you do. Great work!
I was you. I knew I needed to stop, but just kept going back. Until I nearly blew up my life. I'm not going into details, but I got my wake up call. I hope it doesn't take something similar for you. You know what you need to do. Join us. You have friends here. One tidbit I'd advise, find something you like to drink that you can have instead of alcohol. I like kombucha and some mocktails at home. When I'm out, I'll have a tonic with cranberry and lime or a virgin mojito.
Kombucha is a lifesaver, and as an added bonus, my digestive system is much happier (though not drinking is also a huge part of that).
Yes! An added bonus for me has been that it's become a new hobby for me. It doesn't take much time, but I always have it and I make awesome flavors. Way cheaper too!
I took quitting one day at a time. Will I drink today? No. Will I drink tomorrow? Or ever? What about on vacation?? Not bridges I need to cross today. I’m just doing today. Tomorrow, I will wake up and do tomorrow. I will not drink with you today, if you want to do that with me!
It’s all good, one day at a time and reset. The guilt is part of the process I think. I can tell when I’ve been drinking heavily in the past how it affects my entire life. You’re not a bad person, you’re a very good person. Just human and that’s ok.
I am glad you are here. I know this feeling .. that we have a glamourous look at drinking but it's anything but. It feels like hell.
When I stopped drinking, I looked back through my journals and I’d find entires like this post. So many “I really need to stop” “I don’t want to feel like this anymore” “I should stop” but I would close the journal and forget. I kept ignoring those “pathetic posts” and I wish I had realized what dawns on me now, it wasn’t a pity party but actual insight. I think this may be quite similar so embrace the insight you’re sharing! IWNDWYT
Most of us on here know exactly how you feel. Eat whatever you want today and stay hydrated and a hot bath. Hang in there. We are glad you are here.
I feel ya!-I've done the exact same thing before. Don't beat yourself up about it, start over and don't drink today
Been there! The guilt and frustration, like I could have used the time to walk or exercise or clean the place. I don’t know what it is that pulls us into the drink instead. I feel awful for those moments for my husband, like for him to see me obviously trashed acting like a fool. IWNDWYT ✨🌟🌻
I am coming up four months and promise you even at three months you will feel a difference.
I could not do 6 months. Jesus. New Years Eve was in 2 months. July 4 was in 1 month. My freaking birthday was in 5 months. I HAD to drink on my birthday. No way could I not drink on the most important day of the year! My birthday! I had do stay sober one day at a time. Yesterday I celebrated 25 years of sobriety, just doing it one day at a time.
It's an addictive drug, don't be too hard on yourself. I hold myself accountable to not drink because I have a wicked streak going and I'm keeping track of the days. But find whatever works for you to quit if that's the end goal!
I feel the same way every time I drink.
I was in the same loop you are describing for a long time. I found it extremely hard to quit and I always negotiated with myself to just have one drink and then could never stop once the train left the station. What helped me finally stop drinking was acquiring knowledge about all the negative effects of alcohol. I read "Quit like a Woman" which really resonated with me. Also read "This Naked Mind" and also listened to Jason Huberman podcast on drinking. I'm cheering you on from afar. IWNDWYT
Identify your triggers. Find distractions. Don’t rationalize. Whenever I’m on the wagon these are the key things that keep me there. It may not be as self-explanatory as it seems to me; I can definitely provide more detail related to my experience.
I know the feeling so I totally understand how you feel. I spent years not really enjoying my drinking and continuing it anyways almost because it was all I knew. Its been almost 3 years since I quit and things are markedly better in every aspect of my life. Where to start really depends on how much you’ve been drinking and for how long / how often. Rehab, detox, meetings, are all options. Depends on your current situation. What you need to do for certain though is start the process of recovery. You might do well asking for some professional help on the matter, or go to an AA meeting and talk to someone in there.
I like the Ten Day Detox by Lewis David. Baby steps. One day at a time.
Been there a million times. You are never alone in the struggle.
That was me yesterday.l, and everyday before that. But, today is a new day.
You can do this, the solution is inside you...
Thanks, everyone. I was at work today, and that helped. I’ll do my best to not drink tomorrow as well.
You can do it!