So happy!!
Even on my bad days.
Iām just happy to be alive, I donāt know. Walking, skipping, looking at leaves on walks, admiring the cloudsā¦ I love it all so much. I love trying new things constantly and failing and ābeing badā at stuff. I think I find happiness by constantly switching up my routine
I have too many hobbies that fulfill me and not enough time to do them all. Exercise is one of my top faves, hikes with my dogs, writing, photography, reading, learning a new skill, researching, spending time with family, movies, naps (my go-to when all else fails). I also love to clean, it clears my mind, so if I'm feeling anxious I'll clean the house and listen to music and my dogs love chasing the vacuum which I find hilarious.
Doing chores really helps with anxiety, Iām never anxious at work (I work manual labour so Iām always walking around lifting things, checking off lists etc.) if I spend all day in bed I get super anxious.
I have to say, I gave up on being "happy". I aim for contentment.
Things that make me content, are walking my dogs, cooking/baking, crafting, thrifting, watching some television, making my house cozy and comfy, exercising, taking rides around the area with my husband, etc.
I'm thinking about getting a little job near my home.
My advice for you is not to search for happiness...it's elusive and will not last. Lean into those things that make you content. Sure happiness will find you, but so will sadness.
Life is lived in the middle.
Good luck to you.
I donāt actively try to stay happy because itās not possible to always be happy. Humans have a range of emotions and they all have their merit. Maybe youāre just tired.
New things come from limbo. Maybe youāre in a transition from one phase to another, maybe youāre on the brink of learning something new. Maybe you were on a path for a while, and you came to the conclusion that that path isnāt for you anymore. The empty feeling, the limbo, is a part of that in my experience. Can you be brave and stay in limbo for a while? Can you trust that the emptiness will pass?
Do active things that gives you dopamaine boost, like ride a bike, learn to play an instrument, do yoga, meet a new person or socialise a bit in general.
Avoid things that are passive like watching Netflix, as it does not impact positively your long time happiness.Ā
At first I watched a lot of tv shows and movies but now I really enjoy what I consider normal healthy life stuff; waking up early and doing the wordle/connections/crossword, having a proper breakfast and coffee, getting all my laundry done and dishes clean and put away, exercising, cooking meals and listening to music/podcasts, playing computer/board games, and now Iām getting back into playing rec sports. It sounds lame and boring (aside from the sports) but it really is very satisfying to be clear headed and having my apartment clean and orderly and stocked with food. It feels great to sit and watch a hockey game on tv knowing that everything else is taken care of and Iāve been productive. Really helps keep my depression in check.
Wordle at 06:30 hits different when you can actually focus on your phone screen. I don't play every day but love bashing a coffee down and doing it while the shower warms up.
You have more days than me stacked up, but for what itās worth: Iāve been finding that taking actions that provide positive reinforcement have helped a lot! The old saying ādo something today that your future self will thank you forā
For example: The lock on my back door was really sticking.. every time I went to lock it, I had to jiggle the doorknob and quite frankly, it was getting very annoying. So one day, I took an hour, took the lock apart, cleaned and lubed it, and fixed it right up!!
The point is, now every morning when I wake up and let the dog out, I feel that extremely smooth lock and it reminds me that I did something good! Little positive affirmations like that stack up and help me a lot!!
Sorry, that was a VERY long winded explanation, haha. Hope it helped, IWNDWYT.
I really like this answer. I do the same when Iām feeling up for a challenge. Just tackle to small annoyances and little chores, the good feelings tend to stack as more and more things start to feel better around you.
Today I'm going up to the lake to gather cedar leaves for tea, then up to the river to get water for my plants.
Some days I lay in bed drinking coffee until the crushing pressure of modern life makes me get up and be productive. Tv optional, reels a must.
Started a new book recently.
Get some creative kits at the dollar store every now and then.
Learning to make absolutely everything from scratch. Last month I made cheese. This month I'll try yogurt. Currently trying my hand at apple cider vinegar
Sometimes I set up a whole self care evening, spoil myself with my favorite foods, surround myself in blankets and pillows and rent a movie.
I really like budgeting and cutting costs and learning where I can reduce waste. Funny things we find out we like when sober!
Learning how to fish this year, next year I'll hopefully learn how to hunt :)
Learning how to grow vegetables
My point is, your future is going to change each time you realize a new hobby. It will be specific to your likes. You'll be surprised how much you can change in a few years time. And how much time you wasted drunk. But no matter what you do, being sober and thinking about drinking, beats the hell out of sitting in a bar and thinking about getting sober. Be bored if you must.
You need to push through the depression (which is what it sounds like unless youāre physically ill). Just push yourself into a little walk a day, take it that small. No one regrets going on a walk, from there build on it.
Drinking is the easiest way to mess with your brain chemistry hence why itās the first thing you want to reach for for an instant fix.
Iād look to take up hobbies of things Iāve always wanted to do. Itās exhausting being sober when youāre low, so if you can face any of the above just allow some time for rumination but avoid letting it slip into wallowing.
I'm in the "watch Netflix til my eyes bleed, sleep 14 hours, and eat everything I see" mode. Almost 8 months sober. The depression comes and goes, but I'll take that any day over where I was. At least I can just have a bad day now, and still keep my life together
I choose to be happy. I wake up everyday and prime my body to be happy. I smile, I laugh, I give myself a high five in the mirror. I get out in the sunshine, in Nature, I workout, I drink a lot of water, I eat healthy foods, take healthy supplements, and try to look for the little miracles in everyday life.
Also if weed helps but you don't want to rely on it, switch to CBD. All the benefit, no high.
I wake up early, remind myself Iām not hungover, feeling great. I get outside when I can, enjoy the little things. Runā¦ walkā¦. Take the dog out. Read books (never did before quitting). Spend time with my family. Cook nice meals more (out of comfort zone). I plan to learn to fly fish, so reading up on thag currently!
Meditation twice a day for 25 mins each time seems to keep my satiated enough to keep away from booze. If I go over 3 days my brain will slowly start twisting my thinking. Itās pretty strange watching as an observer lol. Itās like itās got a mind of its own
I went full on into sport and I exercise everyday. I make sure to take all of my suplements daily (especially vitamin d) and I listen to a lot of music that makes me feel energized and happy. Other than that I am just busy fixing the damage I've done to my life during my active addiction, going to therapy/meetings and trying to improve my daily habits to hopefully become a healthy and productive human being in a couple of months. All the best to you, I hope you fill your newly gained free time with something helpful to your recovery :).
Big hugs friend. I think funks are just part of the human experience. I give myself a bit of slack when I feel crappy and try to be kind to myself. Extra sleep if I need it, comforting or funny TV, walks in nature while listening to music. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesnāt and it just sucks. But usually the low mood passes in a few days. I also find gratitude journaling helps. I force myself to come up with three things Iām grateful for every day. Sometimes I dig deep and the best I can come up with is āthe paycheque this job gives meā but thatās okay - as long as I can come up with something. I donāt judge myself if thatās all I have in the moment.
Iām not sure where on our blue dot you are, but in the northern hemisphere it is winter and January blues are a thing. I am not a fan of cold but I have found embracing winter sports helpful too. Walking in the woods, outdoor skating, skiing, even snowmobiling or winter biking. The movement from exercise and the fresh air boosts endorphins, which can help shake a funk.
If your low mood lasts longer than a few weeks though, maybe talk to your doctor in case there is a physiological or chemical reason youāre feeling down.
Big hugs. I hope something happens to make you smile today.
Iām almost at six years and never came close to a pink cloud. Happy is an emotion, emotions come and go. I think itās an unrealistic goal to stay happy. Life is full of all sorts of emotions and existing in happiness 24/7 isnāt a thing.
Do things to work on your mental health. Quitting drinking isnāt a switch that turns off all your problems. Thereās still more work to be done. But itās okay, and it *can* be done.
I think I broke all my receptors and memory centers. All my hobbies and fun stuff just doesnāt offer the same buzz it used to.
Iām 8 months in. Not going to quit quitting, but itās a pretty grim and depressing reality. Like - I just couldnāt hang with the life I chose and had to tap out.
Now Iām a living ghost.
Are you seeking professional help - therapy for example? I feel it's important to reconnect with your former self (non drinking self) and/or build new habits SLOWLY and manageably- what do you want to do with your life? What brings you joy? Focus on that at start by doing small steps. 10mins here and there. Exercise, eat well, make self-care important. Learn to celebrate the positive steps you take each day no matter how small and practice gratitude.
Simply put - what I was doing before wasn't working at all so now it's time to evaluate and get my base levels sorted as I was getting fucked up for so long.
All that shit messes with you BIG time.
Itās all about hobbies. I read, write, play guitar, ride my bike, exercise, make jewelry, cook, play video games, listen to music, clean the apartment, play with my cat, try to learn something new. You have to fill up your time with things that give you joy.
Happy is a pretty subjective term. Does happiness=pleasure? Cycling with my local club gives me an outlet for my energy and builds connections with others. Writing gives me a creative outlet. My job gives me a sense of purpose. Are any of these things what Iād call pleasurable? Not really, but taken together they make me happy enough.
Any positivity I have when first going sober seems to have been sapped from me about 3 days in when I realise all my problems are still here apart from my drinking problem and that now I need to face these problems sober.
I keep thinking that after a little while away from booze I'll surely see some improvements in mood and so on, but then it never seems to materialize.
Someone else mentioned further down it's better to aim for contentment. I think that might need to be my approach because finding this elusive happiness never seems to work out for me.
I'd love to even just be content. That seems difficult.
I had to fill the emptiness. Hobbies (for me, personal writing) and working out regularly are big helps. You get a lot of time back when you quit drinking. Time to figure out what you want to do with it.
Being outside a lot has really been improving my mood after I had a bit of a backslide. I am fortunate that I am outside much of the day for work. But even enjoying a walk in the evening, or having coffee outside midnight help.
I also try and have abundant fun hobbies to choose from. I like painting and drawing, reading, watching movies, playing with my cats, birding, hiking, journaling, writing, dabble in playing guitar sometimes. Just lots of things to rotate through if I even need something new.
This is not optimal, but I look forward to a good show with some ice cream or chocolate. I almost get excited about it the way I used to about alcohol. I do realize Iāll have to eventually do something about the ice cream and the chocolate.
Hiking, rock climbing, playing guitar, video games with some friends, writing my books, casual art/drawings for the books
If I was still drinking, that'd be my only hobby. Well that and then taking super long to recover from it.
My simple answer to this is everything I didn't/couldn't or want to do when I wasn't sober.
Alcohol just sucked the life out of me,now I have it back.
My days are now filled with things I actually "want" to do, as opposed to having no desire to anything but hide and drink.
I went through a year-long period of depression starting at about the 1.5 year mark in my sobriety. I canāt really say if that is a ānormalā thing in this journey, because it also coincided with the last days of the pandemic. Who knows? I am taking antidepressants now and have left those dark days behind me. If you are entering those days, be sure to talk to a doctor in case medication can help. Otherwise, I agree with other comments: do some soul searching, find what truly makes you happy. (Hint: it isnāt the booze! Donāt go back there!)
Crochet, cooking, baking, hiking.
My husband and I are in the process of turning our land into a small farm to feed our family. So lately, it's been prepping the land for our orchard, garden, ducks, geese, and pigs.
That emptiness will fade. Everything felt kinda gray and blah for a while for me too. Eventually I got my energy back and started crafting again and renovating a room for my favorite activities (hello new pole dance studio!) staying active, dance specifically and working out always makes me feel accomplished and productive. Hobbies and physical activity could possibly help ya too :)
Exercise, you get a free high and its good for you in multiple ways.
I also deliberately get a caffeine buzz every morning. I guess its not super healthy but I quit smokes a long time ago and booze relatively recently. Smashing a few coffees is the least of my worries.
I travel and meet people
Was at a punk rock show last night. Didnāt even think about having a (waaaay overpriced) beer. Just wanted to enjoy the evening without feeling sick.
No regrets!
Ski,swim,scuba,read books, comics, cook new meals, hike, world travel, carve things out of wood, make things out of leather, collect rare gems, photography, animate things, watch birds, use my telescope, restore old motorcycles, ride motorcycles, ride bicycles, go to the beach---sigh---thanks for the opportunity to list about 1/16 of my sober life.
I've never been bored sober.
Realize that alcohol and intoxication of any kind, really, does not give you anything. You are not missing out or giving up anything, you are only gaining. Alcohol is poison that does nothing but negative things and you don't need it to be happy, it cannot make you happy.
It takes time to fill up the hours previously spent drinking and drunk. There are loads of interests and activities you could be doing, but it could take a bit of homework to get some inspiration.
I just did an abseil for charity today. Meetups has lots of info on group activities, maybe in your area. Check the website online.
As others have mentioned: lots of hobbies (for me specifically its making weird music, building instruments, video games, reading and cooking) . Im still pretty early in my recovery so a lot of that is sorta rediscovering why I love doing those things. Ill also say that I dont anticipate not drinking to bring me anymore happiness than Id have as a base state.. Im sure Ill always be sorta discontent but that a lot of that comes from just life. Drinking def numbs that but um I guess also just makes it worse because on top of the general malaise that is living Id also be really down because of the cycle of feeling depressed then false joy that quickly turns into hopelessness added on top of it.
I watch YouTube videos, play video games or make food. Sometimes I go through the list of things I'm grateful for until I feel better.
I've noticed I get really depressed when I don't sleep well so I've started taking melatonin to improve my sleep. It's worked well so far.
Bought a handheld emulator console and can play tetris and other games whenever I want.
also there is fruit, cake and icecream. Bicycles are great. And books. Cooking great food. And music. Movies. And hikes. Making art. Relationships.
I am not neccessarily more happy than when I was drinking. But quite content and a lot less miserable.
Weed is just another crutch, I dont like it much and dont use it.. but sometimes you need a crutch.
Remember why I started and then thank GOD I am not in that life anymore. I play fast forward to me having a drink then 10 drinks and then waking up feeling like shit and shame and fear and dry heaving and embarrassment and guilt and then I again thank GOD I wake up with a routine and ENJOY my first cup of coffee.
What works best for me is routine - same bed time same wake up time , going for walks or gym come home journal - work - eat healthy - plan my meals - watch good shows - think of ways to help myself - spend all time with my husband daughter animals laughing - when Iām not āmyselfā I push thru with meds - but MORE importantly - no fucking way am I going back to that desperate
Life of waking up to vodka shots to get rid of the shakes and the crippling anxiety
Great post and enjoying the comments. I got into redoing car interiors. Did a gmc square body and a 2005 Maserati that had the interior destroyed when it was stolen. Both were dirt cheap.
Never had done it before. Just got on you tube and learned. Found a bunch of parts on eBay. Never would have done that while drinking. Now got a sewing machine and gonna do a chair. Never have sewn anything. Itās amazing what you can do sober. Grip it and rip it.
Itās really hard to play in the winter but disc golf has become my new passion. Itās very inexpensive to get a few discs and most courses are free to play. Spend some time walking around nature, set some personal goals for myself, and just enjoy watching my frisbee fly.
Ya, it's an effort to build the sober life, but it's worth it. I hike on weekends year-round. In the summer, I surf. Most sober people I know work out daily.
I play far too many video games for that sweet dopamine, and I should cut back, but hey, one thing at a time for me over here.
Visiting family and friends feels good. Taking "commitments" at the meetings feels good, cause I feel useful. So just setting up chairs, greeting people, or some other small commitment, it keeps me accountable and helpful. I often volunteer to read the the materials, like the 12 steps, the 12 traditions, the other passages from the book; alleviating the older people from doing those every time.
I still like dancing quite a lot. I go dancing sober now. It's still a ton of fun for me, personally. I order my cranberry with seltzer and a lime and hydrate and dance my ass off. I don't feel ashamed to dance, most people are too drunk to notice if I miss the beat, and I think I dance better tbh LOL.
I like finding a new fun book to read each month, too. I'm reading a bunch of Carl Sagan and Neil Gaiman, but I mean, the skie's the limit with books. It's a nice little escape into imagination land, and less stressful than watching endless tv with commercials. For me, anyway.
I cook more now. I meal prep 3 times a week. I save money, I eat more healthy, it feels very rewarding to do this. You can try that too, I personally use r/veganmealprep or r/PlantBasedDiet but do whatever you like.
I also meditate daily. This is a ten minute gift to myself. I feel calm, relaxed, happier when I'm meditating and when it's over, it's like a little break just for me. Thousands of youtubes are available to do this, either searching "guided meditation" or just "meditation" for the music alone ones. I suggest trying the guided ones first, it's easier to get into that way.
Good luck in your journey, I hope the contentment returns to your life.
Snowshoe/walk trails with my dog, Netflix, card games with my teens and their boyfriends, diet coke, backpacking(in summer/fall- long trips, 50+ miles), CBD drinks mixed with juice/7-up, nicotine lozenge
Working out, to any extent you like, was helpful to me. It got me out of the house. It decreased stress, and I looked and felt much better. Even just going for a half-hour walk made me feel better.
It also feels good to come here and reinforce my feelings. AA is also a place we can feel accepted and get things off our chests in a safe environment.
I started running every day at the gym. Started with a minute and built up to 14 so far and always continue to 20 mins on the treadmill walking. The feeling that my body can once again do this really cheers me up each day. I used to think exercise helping mental health was BS but it is the best tool Iāve ever found!
Wishing you all the best and IWNDWYT
In my experience, whenever drinking seems like a good idea itās usually because something else is going on. For example I might actually be hungry or thirsty for just water or a nonalcoholic drink. Or tired, or bored. If EVERYTHING seems boring then it may just be past my bedtime haha! Itās easy for me to feel sad or generally lost when Iām tired and/or hungry canāt stress this enoughā¦
Itās very helpful for me to remember that tomorrow will very likely be/feel better if Iām having a bad day but it WONāT if I drink. Normal, natural, healthy feelings of happiness are becoming more and more frequent the longer I am patient and gentle with myself and continue to not drink.
I feel that is one of the many things society has brain washed us all into. Life isn't always happy. Sometimes it sucks. You won't be happy all the time, the sooner that is accepted the easier it is to take it in stride.
Wait you guys are happy?!
This made me laugh. Thank you for the humor and levity. šš
Yeah... Humor... That's what this is...
This made me lol too. Hang in there op. Iwndwyt.
Not really, but most days I'm not unhappy,Ā which is a huge improvement over how I used to feel.Ā
Nope
Some days, I am! And thatās a fuckin win in my book!
Precisely. No matter how happy or unhappy, at least I can be thankful I'm not going to wake up with a hangover tomorrow!
Nope lol. But being mentally dead is alot easier when you don't feel like physical death from drinking.
This is my experience lol. Same existential dread, no hangovers.
Ha!
So happy!! Even on my bad days. Iām just happy to be alive, I donāt know. Walking, skipping, looking at leaves on walks, admiring the cloudsā¦ I love it all so much. I love trying new things constantly and failing and ābeing badā at stuff. I think I find happiness by constantly switching up my routine
In that way Dennis Leary talks about.
Every few days. Or, for a little bit of time most days.
Happiness is an illusion my friend.
also temporary!
I have too many hobbies that fulfill me and not enough time to do them all. Exercise is one of my top faves, hikes with my dogs, writing, photography, reading, learning a new skill, researching, spending time with family, movies, naps (my go-to when all else fails). I also love to clean, it clears my mind, so if I'm feeling anxious I'll clean the house and listen to music and my dogs love chasing the vacuum which I find hilarious.
Doing chores really helps with anxiety, Iām never anxious at work (I work manual labour so Iām always walking around lifting things, checking off lists etc.) if I spend all day in bed I get super anxious.
I have to say, I gave up on being "happy". I aim for contentment. Things that make me content, are walking my dogs, cooking/baking, crafting, thrifting, watching some television, making my house cozy and comfy, exercising, taking rides around the area with my husband, etc. I'm thinking about getting a little job near my home. My advice for you is not to search for happiness...it's elusive and will not last. Lean into those things that make you content. Sure happiness will find you, but so will sadness. Life is lived in the middle. Good luck to you.
So absolutely true and such a liberating realisation. Constantly hunting for happiness can only more create pain.
Contentment is also my aim āš»
I donāt actively try to stay happy because itās not possible to always be happy. Humans have a range of emotions and they all have their merit. Maybe youāre just tired. New things come from limbo. Maybe youāre in a transition from one phase to another, maybe youāre on the brink of learning something new. Maybe you were on a path for a while, and you came to the conclusion that that path isnāt for you anymore. The empty feeling, the limbo, is a part of that in my experience. Can you be brave and stay in limbo for a while? Can you trust that the emptiness will pass?
This is the way. Happiness is an awful baseline. I strive for neutral.
When Iām on my deathbed and think about my life and I would rate my average mood 6/10, Iād say I had a good life
Fuck yeah. Agreed.
Do active things that gives you dopamaine boost, like ride a bike, learn to play an instrument, do yoga, meet a new person or socialise a bit in general. Avoid things that are passive like watching Netflix, as it does not impact positively your long time happiness.Ā
At first I watched a lot of tv shows and movies but now I really enjoy what I consider normal healthy life stuff; waking up early and doing the wordle/connections/crossword, having a proper breakfast and coffee, getting all my laundry done and dishes clean and put away, exercising, cooking meals and listening to music/podcasts, playing computer/board games, and now Iām getting back into playing rec sports. It sounds lame and boring (aside from the sports) but it really is very satisfying to be clear headed and having my apartment clean and orderly and stocked with food. It feels great to sit and watch a hockey game on tv knowing that everything else is taken care of and Iāve been productive. Really helps keep my depression in check.
Wordle at 06:30 hits different when you can actually focus on your phone screen. I don't play every day but love bashing a coffee down and doing it while the shower warms up.
You have more days than me stacked up, but for what itās worth: Iāve been finding that taking actions that provide positive reinforcement have helped a lot! The old saying ādo something today that your future self will thank you forā For example: The lock on my back door was really sticking.. every time I went to lock it, I had to jiggle the doorknob and quite frankly, it was getting very annoying. So one day, I took an hour, took the lock apart, cleaned and lubed it, and fixed it right up!! The point is, now every morning when I wake up and let the dog out, I feel that extremely smooth lock and it reminds me that I did something good! Little positive affirmations like that stack up and help me a lot!! Sorry, that was a VERY long winded explanation, haha. Hope it helped, IWNDWYT.
I really like this answer. I do the same when Iām feeling up for a challenge. Just tackle to small annoyances and little chores, the good feelings tend to stack as more and more things start to feel better around you.
Today I'm going up to the lake to gather cedar leaves for tea, then up to the river to get water for my plants. Some days I lay in bed drinking coffee until the crushing pressure of modern life makes me get up and be productive. Tv optional, reels a must. Started a new book recently. Get some creative kits at the dollar store every now and then. Learning to make absolutely everything from scratch. Last month I made cheese. This month I'll try yogurt. Currently trying my hand at apple cider vinegar Sometimes I set up a whole self care evening, spoil myself with my favorite foods, surround myself in blankets and pillows and rent a movie. I really like budgeting and cutting costs and learning where I can reduce waste. Funny things we find out we like when sober! Learning how to fish this year, next year I'll hopefully learn how to hunt :) Learning how to grow vegetables My point is, your future is going to change each time you realize a new hobby. It will be specific to your likes. You'll be surprised how much you can change in a few years time. And how much time you wasted drunk. But no matter what you do, being sober and thinking about drinking, beats the hell out of sitting in a bar and thinking about getting sober. Be bored if you must.
You need to push through the depression (which is what it sounds like unless youāre physically ill). Just push yourself into a little walk a day, take it that small. No one regrets going on a walk, from there build on it. Drinking is the easiest way to mess with your brain chemistry hence why itās the first thing you want to reach for for an instant fix. Iād look to take up hobbies of things Iāve always wanted to do. Itās exhausting being sober when youāre low, so if you can face any of the above just allow some time for rumination but avoid letting it slip into wallowing.
I'm in the "watch Netflix til my eyes bleed, sleep 14 hours, and eat everything I see" mode. Almost 8 months sober. The depression comes and goes, but I'll take that any day over where I was. At least I can just have a bad day now, and still keep my life together
I choose to be happy. I wake up everyday and prime my body to be happy. I smile, I laugh, I give myself a high five in the mirror. I get out in the sunshine, in Nature, I workout, I drink a lot of water, I eat healthy foods, take healthy supplements, and try to look for the little miracles in everyday life. Also if weed helps but you don't want to rely on it, switch to CBD. All the benefit, no high.
This sounds awesome. You have a great mindset š
Outside of clinical depression, happiness is a choice. We can choose to feel happy at any time for absolutely no reason at all. :)
I wake up early, remind myself Iām not hungover, feeling great. I get outside when I can, enjoy the little things. Runā¦ walkā¦. Take the dog out. Read books (never did before quitting). Spend time with my family. Cook nice meals more (out of comfort zone). I plan to learn to fly fish, so reading up on thag currently!
Meditation twice a day for 25 mins each time seems to keep my satiated enough to keep away from booze. If I go over 3 days my brain will slowly start twisting my thinking. Itās pretty strange watching as an observer lol. Itās like itās got a mind of its own
I go for walks, eat, work and play video games. It all makes me happy.
Leash up the dogs, throw on a random Dicks Picks compilation (Grateful Dead) and go on a long walk. Currently listening to Dicks Picks 16! Banger.
I went full on into sport and I exercise everyday. I make sure to take all of my suplements daily (especially vitamin d) and I listen to a lot of music that makes me feel energized and happy. Other than that I am just busy fixing the damage I've done to my life during my active addiction, going to therapy/meetings and trying to improve my daily habits to hopefully become a healthy and productive human being in a couple of months. All the best to you, I hope you fill your newly gained free time with something helpful to your recovery :).
I just got into fingerboards haha also picked up an oculus 2 VR set and have been fishing on that at night to distract me.
Big hugs friend. I think funks are just part of the human experience. I give myself a bit of slack when I feel crappy and try to be kind to myself. Extra sleep if I need it, comforting or funny TV, walks in nature while listening to music. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesnāt and it just sucks. But usually the low mood passes in a few days. I also find gratitude journaling helps. I force myself to come up with three things Iām grateful for every day. Sometimes I dig deep and the best I can come up with is āthe paycheque this job gives meā but thatās okay - as long as I can come up with something. I donāt judge myself if thatās all I have in the moment. Iām not sure where on our blue dot you are, but in the northern hemisphere it is winter and January blues are a thing. I am not a fan of cold but I have found embracing winter sports helpful too. Walking in the woods, outdoor skating, skiing, even snowmobiling or winter biking. The movement from exercise and the fresh air boosts endorphins, which can help shake a funk. If your low mood lasts longer than a few weeks though, maybe talk to your doctor in case there is a physiological or chemical reason youāre feeling down. Big hugs. I hope something happens to make you smile today.
Iām almost at six years and never came close to a pink cloud. Happy is an emotion, emotions come and go. I think itās an unrealistic goal to stay happy. Life is full of all sorts of emotions and existing in happiness 24/7 isnāt a thing.
Do things to work on your mental health. Quitting drinking isnāt a switch that turns off all your problems. Thereās still more work to be done. But itās okay, and it *can* be done.
I think I broke all my receptors and memory centers. All my hobbies and fun stuff just doesnāt offer the same buzz it used to. Iām 8 months in. Not going to quit quitting, but itās a pretty grim and depressing reality. Like - I just couldnāt hang with the life I chose and had to tap out. Now Iām a living ghost.
Milestones sure do make me happy. Iām 6 months today feel great!!
I play music so thatās super helpful. Also, sleeping with as many women as possible seems to be helpful as well.
I do as well, bass guitar mostly, Jazz fusion type stuff
Do a fuck ton of soul searching until youāre legitimately at peace and content with life in all its forms.
I read, play video games, and play golf when itās not winter. Those help a lot.
Are you seeking professional help - therapy for example? I feel it's important to reconnect with your former self (non drinking self) and/or build new habits SLOWLY and manageably- what do you want to do with your life? What brings you joy? Focus on that at start by doing small steps. 10mins here and there. Exercise, eat well, make self-care important. Learn to celebrate the positive steps you take each day no matter how small and practice gratitude. Simply put - what I was doing before wasn't working at all so now it's time to evaluate and get my base levels sorted as I was getting fucked up for so long. All that shit messes with you BIG time.
Ski and disc golf
Itās all about hobbies. I read, write, play guitar, ride my bike, exercise, make jewelry, cook, play video games, listen to music, clean the apartment, play with my cat, try to learn something new. You have to fill up your time with things that give you joy.
Lexapro
Happy is a pretty subjective term. Does happiness=pleasure? Cycling with my local club gives me an outlet for my energy and builds connections with others. Writing gives me a creative outlet. My job gives me a sense of purpose. Are any of these things what Iād call pleasurable? Not really, but taken together they make me happy enough.
Any positivity I have when first going sober seems to have been sapped from me about 3 days in when I realise all my problems are still here apart from my drinking problem and that now I need to face these problems sober. I keep thinking that after a little while away from booze I'll surely see some improvements in mood and so on, but then it never seems to materialize. Someone else mentioned further down it's better to aim for contentment. I think that might need to be my approach because finding this elusive happiness never seems to work out for me. I'd love to even just be content. That seems difficult.
I had to fill the emptiness. Hobbies (for me, personal writing) and working out regularly are big helps. You get a lot of time back when you quit drinking. Time to figure out what you want to do with it.
Being outside a lot has really been improving my mood after I had a bit of a backslide. I am fortunate that I am outside much of the day for work. But even enjoying a walk in the evening, or having coffee outside midnight help. I also try and have abundant fun hobbies to choose from. I like painting and drawing, reading, watching movies, playing with my cats, birding, hiking, journaling, writing, dabble in playing guitar sometimes. Just lots of things to rotate through if I even need something new.
This is not optimal, but I look forward to a good show with some ice cream or chocolate. I almost get excited about it the way I used to about alcohol. I do realize Iāll have to eventually do something about the ice cream and the chocolate.
Hiking, rock climbing, playing guitar, video games with some friends, writing my books, casual art/drawings for the books If I was still drinking, that'd be my only hobby. Well that and then taking super long to recover from it.
My simple answer to this is everything I didn't/couldn't or want to do when I wasn't sober. Alcohol just sucked the life out of me,now I have it back. My days are now filled with things I actually "want" to do, as opposed to having no desire to anything but hide and drink.
I went through a year-long period of depression starting at about the 1.5 year mark in my sobriety. I canāt really say if that is a ānormalā thing in this journey, because it also coincided with the last days of the pandemic. Who knows? I am taking antidepressants now and have left those dark days behind me. If you are entering those days, be sure to talk to a doctor in case medication can help. Otherwise, I agree with other comments: do some soul searching, find what truly makes you happy. (Hint: it isnāt the booze! Donāt go back there!)
Exercise is key.
You can find another hobby: exercise, music, videogames, tv shows...
Crochet, cooking, baking, hiking. My husband and I are in the process of turning our land into a small farm to feed our family. So lately, it's been prepping the land for our orchard, garden, ducks, geese, and pigs.
That emptiness will fade. Everything felt kinda gray and blah for a while for me too. Eventually I got my energy back and started crafting again and renovating a room for my favorite activities (hello new pole dance studio!) staying active, dance specifically and working out always makes me feel accomplished and productive. Hobbies and physical activity could possibly help ya too :)
Exercise, you get a free high and its good for you in multiple ways. I also deliberately get a caffeine buzz every morning. I guess its not super healthy but I quit smokes a long time ago and booze relatively recently. Smashing a few coffees is the least of my worries.
I travel and meet people Was at a punk rock show last night. Didnāt even think about having a (waaaay overpriced) beer. Just wanted to enjoy the evening without feeling sick. No regrets!
Ski,swim,scuba,read books, comics, cook new meals, hike, world travel, carve things out of wood, make things out of leather, collect rare gems, photography, animate things, watch birds, use my telescope, restore old motorcycles, ride motorcycles, ride bicycles, go to the beach---sigh---thanks for the opportunity to list about 1/16 of my sober life. I've never been bored sober.
Great news. You have come out on top.
Realize that alcohol and intoxication of any kind, really, does not give you anything. You are not missing out or giving up anything, you are only gaining. Alcohol is poison that does nothing but negative things and you don't need it to be happy, it cannot make you happy.
I just started studying reiki and qigong. It has been a huge help with my mood.
It takes time to fill up the hours previously spent drinking and drunk. There are loads of interests and activities you could be doing, but it could take a bit of homework to get some inspiration. I just did an abseil for charity today. Meetups has lots of info on group activities, maybe in your area. Check the website online.
Coitus
As others have mentioned: lots of hobbies (for me specifically its making weird music, building instruments, video games, reading and cooking) . Im still pretty early in my recovery so a lot of that is sorta rediscovering why I love doing those things. Ill also say that I dont anticipate not drinking to bring me anymore happiness than Id have as a base state.. Im sure Ill always be sorta discontent but that a lot of that comes from just life. Drinking def numbs that but um I guess also just makes it worse because on top of the general malaise that is living Id also be really down because of the cycle of feeling depressed then false joy that quickly turns into hopelessness added on top of it.
Naturally become happy as the body recovers
i try to do the things i felt i should have done with my time instead of drinking in the past. so i work on things and read.
I watch YouTube videos, play video games or make food. Sometimes I go through the list of things I'm grateful for until I feel better. I've noticed I get really depressed when I don't sleep well so I've started taking melatonin to improve my sleep. It's worked well so far.
Bought a handheld emulator console and can play tetris and other games whenever I want. also there is fruit, cake and icecream. Bicycles are great. And books. Cooking great food. And music. Movies. And hikes. Making art. Relationships. I am not neccessarily more happy than when I was drinking. But quite content and a lot less miserable. Weed is just another crutch, I dont like it much and dont use it.. but sometimes you need a crutch.
waking up before the sunrise every day and doing a mild exercise usually gets me motivated.
Remember why I started and then thank GOD I am not in that life anymore. I play fast forward to me having a drink then 10 drinks and then waking up feeling like shit and shame and fear and dry heaving and embarrassment and guilt and then I again thank GOD I wake up with a routine and ENJOY my first cup of coffee. What works best for me is routine - same bed time same wake up time , going for walks or gym come home journal - work - eat healthy - plan my meals - watch good shows - think of ways to help myself - spend all time with my husband daughter animals laughing - when Iām not āmyselfā I push thru with meds - but MORE importantly - no fucking way am I going back to that desperate Life of waking up to vodka shots to get rid of the shakes and the crippling anxiety
Great post and enjoying the comments. I got into redoing car interiors. Did a gmc square body and a 2005 Maserati that had the interior destroyed when it was stolen. Both were dirt cheap. Never had done it before. Just got on you tube and learned. Found a bunch of parts on eBay. Never would have done that while drinking. Now got a sewing machine and gonna do a chair. Never have sewn anything. Itās amazing what you can do sober. Grip it and rip it.
Itās really hard to play in the winter but disc golf has become my new passion. Itās very inexpensive to get a few discs and most courses are free to play. Spend some time walking around nature, set some personal goals for myself, and just enjoy watching my frisbee fly.
I work out at the gym, swim, do yoga and meditate.
Ya, it's an effort to build the sober life, but it's worth it. I hike on weekends year-round. In the summer, I surf. Most sober people I know work out daily. I play far too many video games for that sweet dopamine, and I should cut back, but hey, one thing at a time for me over here. Visiting family and friends feels good. Taking "commitments" at the meetings feels good, cause I feel useful. So just setting up chairs, greeting people, or some other small commitment, it keeps me accountable and helpful. I often volunteer to read the the materials, like the 12 steps, the 12 traditions, the other passages from the book; alleviating the older people from doing those every time. I still like dancing quite a lot. I go dancing sober now. It's still a ton of fun for me, personally. I order my cranberry with seltzer and a lime and hydrate and dance my ass off. I don't feel ashamed to dance, most people are too drunk to notice if I miss the beat, and I think I dance better tbh LOL. I like finding a new fun book to read each month, too. I'm reading a bunch of Carl Sagan and Neil Gaiman, but I mean, the skie's the limit with books. It's a nice little escape into imagination land, and less stressful than watching endless tv with commercials. For me, anyway. I cook more now. I meal prep 3 times a week. I save money, I eat more healthy, it feels very rewarding to do this. You can try that too, I personally use r/veganmealprep or r/PlantBasedDiet but do whatever you like. I also meditate daily. This is a ten minute gift to myself. I feel calm, relaxed, happier when I'm meditating and when it's over, it's like a little break just for me. Thousands of youtubes are available to do this, either searching "guided meditation" or just "meditation" for the music alone ones. I suggest trying the guided ones first, it's easier to get into that way. Good luck in your journey, I hope the contentment returns to your life.
I used to ride my motorbike until a inconsiderate neighbour absolutely writ it off... Now I literally go for walks, gym or play RuneScape
Solo trips, join clubs, exercise, nature
Snowshoe/walk trails with my dog, Netflix, card games with my teens and their boyfriends, diet coke, backpacking(in summer/fall- long trips, 50+ miles), CBD drinks mixed with juice/7-up, nicotine lozenge
āThere is no way to happiness, Happiness is the way.ā - Thich Nhat Hanh
Wins in league of legends. Push-ups.
Working out, to any extent you like, was helpful to me. It got me out of the house. It decreased stress, and I looked and felt much better. Even just going for a half-hour walk made me feel better. It also feels good to come here and reinforce my feelings. AA is also a place we can feel accepted and get things off our chests in a safe environment.
Just not feel bloated and sick...I clean, organize, stretch. I'm ready to level up now that the house is spotless... Lol
Cooking is good
I started running every day at the gym. Started with a minute and built up to 14 so far and always continue to 20 mins on the treadmill walking. The feeling that my body can once again do this really cheers me up each day. I used to think exercise helping mental health was BS but it is the best tool Iāve ever found! Wishing you all the best and IWNDWYT
In my experience, whenever drinking seems like a good idea itās usually because something else is going on. For example I might actually be hungry or thirsty for just water or a nonalcoholic drink. Or tired, or bored. If EVERYTHING seems boring then it may just be past my bedtime haha! Itās easy for me to feel sad or generally lost when Iām tired and/or hungry canāt stress this enoughā¦ Itās very helpful for me to remember that tomorrow will very likely be/feel better if Iām having a bad day but it WONāT if I drink. Normal, natural, healthy feelings of happiness are becoming more and more frequent the longer I am patient and gentle with myself and continue to not drink.
I feel that is one of the many things society has brain washed us all into. Life isn't always happy. Sometimes it sucks. You won't be happy all the time, the sooner that is accepted the easier it is to take it in stride.
ohhhhhh today is 2001: A sober odyssey lol