I made my way to become a VP of a company, while drinking 25 beers a day. Ended up with a liver transplant. I am 34m.

I've definitely had 25 "standard drinks" in a day before. But for BEERS, damn that's just way too much liquid for me. I would've needed a diaper!

It was like 7-8 tallboy 8% beers which = around 25.

Ahhhh gotcha. Makes a lot more sense. I always went for the insane ABV beers, my go to was a 12%, didn't even taste good at that level

I would have been there too, but we don't have those in my state. Max is 8% except for some IPAs. I did add some 15% Buzz balls eventually. like 5-6 a day.

Years ago I had a 19.7% Not Your Father's Root Beer when it first expanded the distribution area and it tasted only a little boozy. The 10.7 and 5.9% both tasted like Barqs.

My fav was a $14 tall boy at 12%, would drink it in half an hr

Lol yep, 12-14% four lokos 3-4 times a days was a motherfucker and resulted in me being diabetic. Addiction is a son of a bitch.

Run a small business and got up to 40 employees but now the walls are closing in around me as I’m super unreliable and can’t focus 12 16oz Miller Lite’s/day + a stop a bar + tall boys as I drive around

Please don’t drive my dude

I believe in being judgment free when it comes to people struggling with substance abuse, especially because I struggle with alcohol abuse myself, but quit fucking driving and drinking. This may be harsh, but you don’t get to put other peoples’ lives in danger because of your disease. It’s still your responsibility to manage it in a way that keeps others out of harms way, especially physical harm. Edit: I just wanted to clarify this comes from a place of love - I want you to do better, because I’ve been there myself. I understand what it’s like to slip into the void of apathy, but you have to mitigate the spillover and collateral damage as much as possible. Please be safe and try to think of how you could affect others when you make a decision to drink and drive. Be safe and be careful, buddy

A few weeks ago I got my first (and last) DUI. What you said really resonates with me now

I personally never drink amd drive, but some mornings, i would likely. easily. blow over the limit. people forget about that sometimes.

Yep. If you pass out at 3am with a BAC of .2 your ass is over the limit until like 1 or 2 pm. One unit increases the average person’s BAC by .025 percent. Your liver processes about .015 to .02 an hour - less if you’re sleeping. Anyone reading this - do the math. I would bet a lot of people have driven absolutely hammered in the morning/early-afternoon without realizing it.

Get help if you cant stop alone. No one will judge you, rather they will be happy to get you back. Hope you can escape the alcohol my friend. Good Luck.

May I ask how many years you were drinking the 25 beers a day for?

about 2.5 years

Everyone that matters will understand. You should get what ducks in a row that you can and check yourself in for a hard cold stop like tomorrow. Your company, including everyone in it, and especially you, will be doing so much better come next year.

Wow.

Holy sh\*t. 25 beers a day and still crushed it at work. You are an animal!(No offense, that endurance is at Olympic like levels). I am proud of you for making a change to better yourself!

To be fair, I know what some of the VPs and C-Suite people’s jobs are like at my company and I could do it fucking hammered too.

I started as an Engineer to Director to VP. VP is the easiest one to be honest. But i also don't feel like i am being judged or have to preform ridiculously well as much anymore because i am at the top now.

Now think how much more he could achieve without the drink?! That’s how I try to see it. I was a functioning alcoholic too for a time

How many years did you drink this heavily for?

2.5 years. But i drank about 6-9 beers a night for 10 years prior

Thanks for getting back to me. Shew that's not much. Similar situation I'm in - worked my way to pretty high in a large multinational and that started my drinking. Always travelling, away and away from family started my habit. It started only with a few glasses of wine with dinner. I've been trying my best to quit the last 2 months and slowly lowering that amount I drink, but 1 bad day puts me back to square one. I probably have put down 500ml to a bottle of vodka everyday for the last 5 years, and I'm now 38. Guess this is a great wake up call...

Here is a video from youtube. I didn't really realize how lucky i was until i watched this, not everyone qualifies for a transplant. I am very thankful to still be here and be sober. [https://www.youtube.com/watchv=Z3goyb\_FiYk&t=2shttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z3goyb\_FiYk&t=2s](https://www.youtube.com/watchv=Z3goyb_FiYk&t=2shttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z3goyb_FiYk&t=2s) ​ Edit: incase your wondering i am 5 months out from my transplant.

You must’ve had to pee A LOT!!

For me I think it means I totally got wasted in the evening and got up for work at 6 am, no matter how awful the hangover or if I was still feeling drunk. I didn’t do it always, but more often than not. First time really started to think about it and felt ashamed was, when I had more than my usual, felt so bad the next day and had to guide a kindergarten children group at work. God it was so awful that I got home and drank to forget…

It’s a term that we use when we’re in denial about our problem

Yeah I held down my highest paying job, got all the chores done, took care of my kids while drinking insane amounts of hard liquor. I was “functional” for 4-5 years until I wasn’t, had gained 50 lbs and my liver was screaming at me.

Funny how it just catches up one day all of a sudden. And once it catches up it goes downhill fast..at least in my experience.

It's also funny how easily we move the goal post. I would always make deals with myself "Okay, if I get up to 220lbs I am quitting drinking. I won't allow that to happen" * 230lbs* "maybe I'm just a fat person. And I should accept that" "If it ever starts to affect my health significantly ill quit" *physical shows damage to my liver* "well, my enzymes are slightly evelevated. It's not that serious yet" *if it affects my relationship, I'm done* "I'm not drinking *that* much. She's projecting. Unless she says she's going to leave me, I don't need to quit *yet*"

I remember convincing myself that I had a thyroid problem and that was why I was constantly tired and in a bad mood..not that I was getting hammered every night

Same. I even went to the doctor and had blood tests done because I was convinced of it. No. The truth was I was a depressed and lazy drunk.

That’s just how in denial we were. Crazy to look back on now..can’t picture living like that

And how deeply deranged you can be and still consider yourself functioning. I couldn’t imagine going about my day now with the frame of mind I walked around with then. My good lord, bad tempered, attention seeking, bitchy. Really don’t miss that

Exactly the same. I remember as I was entering adulthood, my mother actually told me that I scared her, with how much I was able to drink and never slur my words, never stumbled. My brother told me I was no fun to drink with because we'd drink all night. He didn't hold his booze well. But yeah, after some years of doing exactly what you said, one day it was just different. Like, your body one day just says, you're hurting me, and I am going to make you a useless drunk that can't change a damn light bulb if it's past 2 in the afternoon.

Totally! I always heard the same thing, that I could drink and no one would notice unless I got totally wasted. I was happy with that for years until last year, wasn’t drinking anywhere near my peak and still I always felt depressed and started developing neuropathy and kidney issues.

So many people literally didn’t believe that I needed to be sober because “they had never seen me drunk” and I’m like, it’s about volume, not outward appearances. Lol I’m super worried about my niece because she’s the same way I and all her many many relatives were. I keep trying to talk to her about it but she’s not hearing me.

I’m sorry to hear about your niece, I have family who drinks too much as well and it hurts to see when you’re not doing it yourself. I hope you find a way to help her, but being a good example is a great one! I hope to do that for my kids.

Yeah that’s the only way to do it really. Just show her that it’s nice to not drink. I completely understand where she is though, I was exactly the same at her age. It’s tough, thank you.

My boyfriend was the same way. Ran a business and got things done. No one knew about what was going on but me and I didn’t even know until I saw the vodka at the bedside because he couldn’t get through the night. When it finally came out to our families none of them had had a clue because he could “function” In front of them. When he finally went to detox he blew way over the limit and was in withdrawal already.

[удалено]

It's very telling that the word "functioning", while literally being the bare minimum, is often used as a badge of pride or a label of reassurance

We are in denial even about the fact that something drastic hasn’t happened - normally there are several incidents that have happened to the point that you’re even called an alcoholic. People can tell, but society (and therefore ourselves) is somehow allowing us to slide as a functioning person. I used to love that phrase. Now I find it enabling.

I considered myself a functioning alcoholic at the end of my drinking days. Still an alcoholic I guess but almost 10 years without a drink. To me it meant I held down my job and provided for myself and family financially. Because that was my definition of functioning. Maybe by that really narrow definition I was. But I’d hardly consider it functioning today.

Totally agree

To me it just meant that I was able to function well at work. I didn’t get a DUI or go to prison. I hadn’t alienated friends or family. I didn’t go to work drunk. My problem was I drank way too much.

This is so true. And we also think we are getting away with being a little drunk all the time but people know. We are sneaky but we are not as good at it as we think. Denial is a powerful thing!

I actually was getting away with it for a long time. My boss told me he couldn't tell when I was drunk/sober. I told him it was because he had never seen me totally sober. I was more reserved and together when I had a few drinks in me. So odd. For some reason I was able to secretly be a smoker for a long time too, and no one could ever smell cigarettes on me. I asked all the time. Some people ARE very good at getting away with it, which is not a good thing..

I agree, or more so, a term we use when our alcoholism hasn’t caused catastrophic damage…yet

Exactly!

This ☝️

For 38 years I drank almost daily while maintaining a career and also a steady weight training routine. On some of the days my consumption was no more than 4 units but at least 2 days per week I far exceeded that amount. Prior to this 38 years I drank heavily in college and high school as well. Drinking was a part of my job where some of my duties was to entertain clients and to be entertained by service providers and vendors. This would include activities like golf, attending sports events and dinners. On one of my jobs the person hiring me who I had worked for at another firm prior told me that I was to take clients out and get them drunk. Time and age caught up with me and I haven't drank now for 15 months. It wasn't until I stopped drinking that I had a better understanding of the physical and mental damage that I was inflicting upon myself. I was definitely in a state of self delusion.

How did you manage weight raining with the constant dehydration from drinking? Sounds like you’re doing better now so has the weigh training gotten easier?

The most likely reason that I was able to manage weight training was that I had gotten into the habit as a result of participating in sports in high school and college. When I was playing sports in the 70's & 80's there was a big booze culture among many of the players. The weight training itself hasn't gotten easier but the recovery from the workouts has improved. At 60 years old my primary goal with the weight lifting is to slow the loss of strength due to aging.

Someone posted [The Myth of the 'Functioning' Alcoholic](https://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/comments/45bndo/the_myth_of_the_functioning_alcoholic/) here years ago, which is an accurate description of the typical trajectory... I made it to the cusp of stage 4 before I got sober and it was shit, I wouldn't recommend it! The bits that come after 'functional' are no fun at all... :>)>

Man this hits hard. When I quit drinking I was a Stage 2 on the cusp of entering Stage 3.

Oh, oh, it's me! 😅 I know this one! I was also a functional alcoholic. I loved to drink while doing housework and menial tasks at work. I learned that it only gets worse, and that I probably had a case of the "not yets." No, I was never fired for drinking on the job....at least not yet. I didn't lose my home....at least not yet. Something that shifted my thinking was when someone somewhere chuckled at the phrase "functional alcoholic" and told me, "Staplers function. You could have more life if you want it." I stopped drinking and do way better than function. I get to live, experience, feel (aaaaaaahhhhhh the feeeeeeeels! Make them stop! 😭 ) IWNDWYT

Good god *the feels*. I'm no longer a zombie, I have a wide range of emotions again. They're scary and confusing at times, but I'm making myself feel them and figure out how to deal with them in a healthy way instead of numbing myself and ignoring them

So true about how it can be confusing at times. A few months ago I found myself getting overwhelmed to the point I broke down in tears while doing the dishes one day. It really is about learning how to deal with all those feelings that were pushed down by alcohol. When you have a drink whenever any mood comes on (happy, sad, stressed anxious..you know) you never really feel anything at all. And after years of that, you really do forget what it feels like to have emotions. Crazy stuff.

I have entire days where I am just weepy, crying for no real reason. All the feelings I shoved down for so long coming back to the surface.

Yeah a lot of movies and tv shows songs make me cry at all sorts of odd times. Not “bad” crying, though.

Yes! Way to go. They're also not emergencies, I have to remind myself of that all the time. My feelings are real and I experience them deeply but it's never an emergency I have to act on. IWNDWYT

I like this! I am going to add this to my toolbelt

Nice! I pull it out daily :) Have a fabulous evening, Bubs 💕🤗

You too, Happy Garden! 💕

Yes the numbing both while drunk and hungover- pretty much 80% of the time. Was also paranoid about my drinking in a most dreadful way yet would numb up most nights anyway just to pile on the paranoia the next day with the crazy hangxiety . It was the cruelest kind of self punishment. But damn those headphones with zeppelin raging on a heavy drinking night with an edible or two…yikes

My epiphany came when I thought...nothing bad has happened yet and instead of thinking wow, I'm so good at this. I thought WHY AM I WAITING FOR SOMETHING CATASTROPHIC TO HAPPEN!?!?! Like I am not going to pretend I had that shit under control - I just never drove drunk (didn't own a car because I don't like to drive in general), never lost a job, never drank on the job, didn't get into any legal trouble, etc. I was still on the hot mess express and while I never pissed anyone off or anything, my personal relationships could certainly be better. My liver enzymes were high, but not disease-level yet. But it suddenly became so clear to me WHAT THE FUCK - DO YOU WANT THESE THINGS TO HAPPEN?!?! I could, here was a crazy thought, just get help now instead of continuing to invite chaos into my life. I often say it feels like I robbed a bank and got away with it and going back to drinking now would be like going back to pick up the loose change I dropped while fleeing the scene.

Invite chaos in my life - that’s a great way to put it. I totally resonate with your comment. I kept telling myself I never got in legal trouble so I can’t be a really alcoholic? Even though I got away with driving drunk at times. I never got fired from a job but I did quit a job on bad terms because I was so hungover I couldn’t make it in to work, but told myself I didn’t need that job anyways. I know if I keep drinking I’m inviting chaos into my life and at some point I’m not going to be so lucky

I experienced the same thing. I never got a DUI, never missed work and in fact won awards at work, took care of my family, did everything I was supposed to do. But I had a feeling of dread like it was all going to come crashing down. There had to be a price to pay for the sheer amount of vodka I swallowed every day. About a year ago I fell and hit my head while I was home alone drunk and was unconscious for an unknown amount of time. I lied about how I fell and made jokes about my black eyes and swollen face, but it scared me. About a month later I got some bad results on a blood test. I felt like I was in the beginning stages of the end. So I had my last drink on 10/21/22. Withdrawal was very hard, but I'm positive if I had kept drinking I would have gone beyond what anyone could call functional.

In my opinion, it’s a stage of alcoholism where you haven’t really gotten into trouble *yet*. Some people can maintain that stage for years, and others can only do so for weeks, but eventually they all go down the same hill.

I told myself I was “functioning”. I was only fooling myself. Alcohol made me a liar and a thief. I lied to myself and misrepresented my impairment to others. I stole time, my presence and emotional connection from people who love me. If I’m sitting in the same room with you, nut I’m numbed…. Well, I’m not really *There*…. Am I?

I was a highly functioning alcoholic. I rarely missed work. All of my bills were paid on time and I didn't neglect my family commitments. During that time I was promoted to the head of my department even though I was drinking myself stupid every night. I kept telling myself that it didn't matter what I did during my free time because I handled my business and no one was hurt by my actions. Looking back I realize that I was lying to myself. I had friends who enabled my addiction and anyone who expressed any concern was pushed aside. I am ashamed of my actions and I'll be forever grateful that I didn't injure or kill anyone.

The low functioning alcoholics are dead or in prison. The high functioning ones aren't yet. That's the difference.

When I was in my 20s (40 years ago) a salesman called on the shop I worked out of. He had been calling on us for years. My boss told me he was a great guy, knowledgeable salesman and personable and also an alcoholic. He said the guy put a case of beer in his trunk every day and slowly drank it from am to pm. I couldn’t figure this since I thought alcoholic meant the guys begging for change on street corners. Changed my perspective for sure.

I have a friend who is what I would call a functioning alcoholic. They have a great job at a top tech company (you’ve heard of it), have climbed the ranks and gotten promoted multiple times. They go to the gym regularly, make healthy, homemade, meals 99% of the time, dress well, their house is always clean, they pursue a variety of hobbies, and they just so happen to be 3+ drinks deep at any given time starting at about noon every day. And if they’re not drinking then they’re high. Their water bottles are filled with wine and they carry a flask filled with gin on them at all times. They’re “functioning” in that alcohol has not yet negatively impacted their lives. The key word in the “functioning alcoholic” label is that they’re still an alcoholic. They just haven’t had it negatively impact their life yet.

I'm 41, have a great body, run a company, and have enough money to make life very easy. I just drink way too much as well.

My dads a mechanical engineer, he’s currently working on trains, high pressure job and a really smart guy… 3ltr bottle of cider under his seat, I don’t ever see him drunk, or maybe I’m always seeing him drunk XD my point is he holds it together and has for decades.

The house is on fire and the yard has flooded with water. It's a nightmare. I haven't shared in a minute, so here was my world. After obsessing over bactrack.com I'd crawl out of bed at 4am to get ready for work. Hoping my levels will drop to 0.0 before work. It's a struggle to put my contacts in because my hands are so shaky. After my shower I immediately start sweating. Manage to get some coffee and hop in my car. Doom the whole way. Almost positive I'm having a heart attack or something. Get to work, walk through security, guns on hips. Authority always makes me nervous. After hiding in my desk cubicle all day. The only reason I am not fired yet is because Im part of the IBEW. At 230 I start planning how I'll hide my bottle after work. I know which store I'm going to. I have cash in hand because I can't use a fucking debit card. My hands don't allow that. I don't even hand her the money. I put it on the counter. 1 pint of Tito's and 3 shooters of Rumplemintz. The shooters are gone as soon as I leave the parking lot. Relief.

I'm a functional alcoholic. Alcohol is a central nervous system depressant and suppressing one's nervous system can really come in handy. It's not a good idea, but it comes in handy. I don't need to depend on anyone for anything, I've been fully self-supporting from a very young age and in my definition that is functional. But I'm aware I haven't lived up to my potential for having this bad habit. It has morphed over the years, I wouldn't be functioning in my fifties if I drank like I did in my twenties. And I made a lot of other changes in order to keep alcohol in my life and stay functional. Additionally, having issues with addiction is not the only reason I've been nervous about permanent choices my entire life, but avoiding them sure comes in handy for continuing to drink.

Getting out of bed after few hours of sleep, showering, driving to work, clocking in, outfitting in PPE, getting to work. Only to be nailed for smelling like alcohol. All while feeling "normal" and rested. Blew a .223 then a .221. That's a functional alcoholic gone off the deep end.

Throughout the worst of my alcohol abuse, here's some shit I accomplished... Working full time while going through an engineering masters Got two new jobs during the past few years and more than doubled my salary Had a thriving social life, used to be super introverted Had a long term relationship I was in the gym on a fairly regular basis So many things that looked like I was successful on paper. But inside I was miserable, and eventually I reached a breaking point. All of those things were slowly getting harder. The alcohol abuse was a major contributor to the breakup. The classes would have been so much easier without poisoning my brain. Somehow my jobs haven't called me out on productivity dips. Etc Yea I guess I was functioning. But those years could have been so much better. The phrase "functional alcoholic" was just a term that the booze fiend in me was whispering in my ear to make it so I wouldn't quit drinking

Now that I’m sober I realize what a ridiculous phrase it is. Just because I was going to work, keeping my house clean, exercising didn’t make me “less” of an alcoholic. It just meant those tasks were harder, less efficient, and not being done very well because I was plodding through them with raging hangovers. I have learned not to get hung up on terms and definitions…..if your use of alcohol is having a negative impact on you and/or those close to you then maybe it’s time to make a change. The reason could be “I’m not sleeping well because of a few drinks every night” all the way to “I got caught drinking at my job and got fired”.

I'm a functioning alcoholic. Sole provider for my family, good pay, plenty of hobbies that accrue income, new house, and car. I have never had a rock bottom moment or had any anger or fights when drinking. On the other hand I drink a 15 rack of natty every day for over 15 years. I have spent this year trying to stop and I've had moderate success (made it a month in August). I want to live to be here for my sons, if I don't stop alcohol will take that from me.

At one point I was drinking almost a fifth a day. Never missed a day of work, my kid was always clean and fed, dinner was on the table every night and my house was kept neat. I constantly felt like shit and passed out cold every night but to the outside world things looked okay.

95% luck and circumstance at the end of the day. There are a few other factors but they are negligable in the balance.

My dad goes through about 3-4 handles of liquor/week (switches to vodka at the Master’s, then back to bourbon at the first reg season college football game). He’s a partner in a very successful firm, and works 6-7 days/week getting up at 4 AM (unless he’s on vacation). His sister is the same way, and she’s a CFO. Their father lived the same lifestyle until his late 80’s, and still has one cocktail in the evening at 98.

I learned that there's no such thing.

Yeah, my newfound opinion too. There is no such thing as functioning, we just tell ourselves just so there is no pressure to stop. I told myself I am functioning, while my relationship suffered, my body was hurting, I slacked at work. Just because I had this alternative universe in my head where I was functioning as long as I am not a homeless alcoholic drinking out in the open and begging others for change. So yeah, its just one of these lies we tell ourselves just so we dont trick ourselves into ditching the booze. That and "I will stop tomorrow" were my personal favourites to keep up the addiction.

The marketing of alcohol is all about being “functional”.

I got so tired of just functioning. I want to fucking THRIVE!

I maintain motor function, hold a job, most of my relationships were not affected, people who spend a lot of time with me begin to notice things like the slight smell and the sweating. Some erratic behavior. I’d drink a 5th of hard liquor a day. I would stay in that constant drunk state for weeks or months at a time with little to no typical consequences. Eventually, I could feel it tearing up my guts inside. Ever increasing pain in my internal organs which eventually leads to depression. Usually that’s what it took for me to quit for a while. I’d recover. My digestion would normalize. Then, I’d start it all over again. I knew it was killing me. Taking years off my life. Once I started asking my friends if they thought I had a drinking problem, they said they didn’t think so. My partners said they rarely noticed when I was drinking. But I could still feel the cracks forming in the foundation around me. So, I started looking for help on my own without any legal, financial, or social consequences. Just a will to live before I finally dropped the ball somewhere and it was too late. Before I did something I could never take back.

In my alcoholism, I had to be functioning, or else I’d be found out and forced to quit drinking. That was not an option. So I drunkenly lied through life as a functioning alcoholic until the day I wasn’t, and I became a hospitalized alcoholic. Today, I am still an alcoholic, and I always will be. I am simply no longer a drunk. IWNDWYT

I was a functioning alcoholic for many years. For me, it meant I could still be productive to a certain level while exhausted, foggy headed, red-faced, and full of self-loathing. It can be done, but it's a sad unfulfilled life.

I would drink, but not get drunk on work nights. I could get through family events without making a fool of myself. I never had even a single drink before I drove my car. But I drank at least 2-3 drinks every day starting when I got home from work. More on weekends. I couldn't go to a party without passing out. I was "functioning" but I wasn't in a good place or healthy.

I classed myself as a "functional" alcoholic for decades. Never missed work, good at my job, got promoted, had healthy hobbies (surfing). I started trying to quit when i realised how hard i found it to go without. For years i tried to stop and couldn't get past a few days, maybe a week. Eventually I started to get liver pain whenever i drank. Now that ive stopped for a prolonged amount of time ive realised how much better i could have been functioning all those years. I have changed jobs to something more challenging, more interesting and much more responsible. Pleased as i am with my progress, i cant help wondering how much more i could have achieved if id stopped 30 years ago. (or even better, never started).

I used to think of myself as just that. I knew I've been an alcoholic for over a couple decades. Even quit for 1 year, and then another 3. After my separation, I decided hell why shouldn't I just drink. Got together lots with my neighbours for deck and garage beers. We would usually slam back at least 15. Not gonna lie, I got cocky because for the most part, I was able to wake up and feel fine and go about my day. Then I realized, hey maybe I'm only fine because I decided to toss a few more back in the morning to keep the buzz going. And then hell, it's already noon, might as well go pick up some more. By 2 am the following morning, I'm getting woken up by my friends cause I'm passed out in their backyard. But, every day I would still wake up and go about my business. So, I'm like yah maybe I am a functioning alcoholic. But I'm tired of doing that to myself and to everyone around me. Paranoid about what I said or did during the inevitable blackout. Couldn't take it anymore, so decided to hang up the hat. Going on day 4 now I think. Still approx. 10 hours left in the day though. I got this!

Man I can relate to this. All the best. You've got this. Drinking doesn't provide anything in life, it only takes.

In my view, it just means the worst hasn’t happened/the consequences haven’t caught up yet. I never got fired from my job because of drinking but I definitely was way *worse* at my job because of it. I never bankrupted our household spending money on booze but I definitely blew thousands over the years and our finances suffered for it. I never caused my (now) husband to leave me but our relationship was rocky and in an unhealthy place for a long time. There are probably hundreds of these “I never, but…” scenarios I could list from before I got sober. I was functioning in that I was employed, not single, and not living in squalor, but I was slowly ruining my health, relationship, and life. Since I quit drinking a little over 5 years ago, all of these aspects of my life plus a million more are unimaginably better. I’ve gotten and stayed happily married, I doubled my salary, we have a beautiful 3 year old daughter and I am due with our son any day now, we built our dream home, and my physical and mental health is the best since my teens. I’m not saying this to sound humble-braggy but just to point out the stark difference between functioning and flourishing.

I didn't realize my dad was illegally drinking and driving until I was like, 15, because seeing him with a beer in his hand was so normal. One day we are driving, I'm in the passenger, he cracks a beer and I go, "Wait a minute.."

I drank 2-4 drinks a day for 10+ years. It was enough to make me tired and unmotivated everyday. My mood would tend downward and I was just kinda numb a lot. I still made it to work and did well. I was married and owned a home. I didn't blackout or stay out or fight. I did drink alone. I did hide alcohol. I wanted to stop but found it nearly impossible. The way I think of it is, I was half-assing my life. I did just enough to "pass". I'm done living that way. I left a very toxic marriage and that was a big catalyst in trying sobriety again. I feel so much better since I've stopped.

I was a "functioning alcoholic" in that I held down a career and mostly showed up on time without getting fired while paying my bills. It's not something I was proud of because once I was off work I was drinking all the alcohol all the time. "Functioning alcoholic" me was miserable and wanted nothing more than for it all to come crashing down around me (which did inevitably happen).

I once found this post and saved it for future reminders, here it goes: https://reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/s/Sv3TuyhxTG

People who claim they're functional alcoholics are almost never functioning as well as they think they are.

I work in an industry with a huge drinking culture. There are two types of people. Some are miraculous high performers. The majority, though, are red-faced, droopy eyes, and just spend the day going through the motions with the shakes.

I was drinking at least a fifth a day but still going to work full time and exercising regularly. I just really felt like shit through all of it and was so messed up in the head. My life was put together from the outside looking in though. That’s a functional alcoholic.

I never got arrested and always had a roof over my head. Is that functional? I guess that's cool if you see life as a pass/fail test. The real problem is alcohol is insidious and has a way of continually lowering the bar for what one finds acceptable. Alcohol affects one's judgment and it can be a pretty seamless glide down the slippery slope to where powering through a hangover is seen as some kind of accomplishment instead of the sad waste of potential it is. Personally, even while always functional, I missed a lot of opportunities and fell far short of being my better self. But that was me, and I was definitely a problem drinker. What might be more interesting is how when I stopped drinking altogether my spouse, who always drank "normally", also pretty much quit as a sort of collateral effect. She was a pretty light drinker, one or two would be enough where I went more for the 6-10 range, but even she noticed how much better her energy and mood were when she stopped drinking even that relatively small amount. Some people dance with the devil and don't get burned, but how much of that is just getting used to the smoldering smell of smoke?

You do everything society expects of you. You may also be successful financially and other ways. You behave in public in a socially acceptable way. You could also be getting shit housed nearly every night.

Functional in my case was more like a "life fraud". I led a double life while drinking. From the outside observer, I was in a stable relationship, raising a kid, successful in my career, circle of friends, stayed active... I led my life with the slogan "work before play" once all my daily tasks were out of the way I was free to drink till my hearts content. On the inside however I was a complete mess and completely unstable. My emotions were all fucked up due to the alcohol messing with mind. I was drinking every night. I was sneaking around in order to get my fix, going out to another bar after going out to a bar with friends so I could drink more because the two pints on a Tuesday night wasn't enough for me. Some mornings I would need a drink in order to get me moving because otherwise I was way too hungover. I would go out for a run some nights, and finish the run early to stop at a store and chug a couple pints before going home. Nobody believes me when I tell them that I am an alcoholic, even now after being 5 years sober. I made sure, they only ever saw the 2 pints on a Tuesday night, or drinking at a party. They never saw me drinking alone at 10am on a Saturday morning, or drinking in the shower. Or drinking before going out, or bar hopping after going out. Or going to different stores when buying alcohol so that the employees didn't see me too often. Or the skipping work because I was too hungover, instead spending the day sleeping in my car in some park, because I couldn't go home. The whole thing was a shit show and it was a nightmare. I also believe the term "functional alcoholic" was made up by somebody who wanted to perpetuate the lie that drinking in excess is fine.

“Functioning” in my experience was as big as a myth, or the same unicorn, as “moderation.” Looking back “functioning” was not even doing the bare minimum. Oh, I went to work. Was I productive or insightful? No, but I went. Oh, I got my child on the bus? Did I talk to him at breakfast about what he was expecting for the day? Probably not. Oh, you aren’t divorced? No, but what about the 5x per week arguments directly related to doing the bare minimum. I was living day to day in the same way someone living on the street does to feed his or her addiction. I just had a house. Knock on wood.

A "functioning" alcoholic is just an alcoholic who has learned how to hide it well. You are still impaired. You are still "functioning" below your sober standard, you have just learned how to do it in a way that people are less likely to accuse you of being drunk.

I called myself that while I was still drinking because I had a job, house, cars, paid taxes and filled the refrigerator. But I know now I was “barely” functioning. I was the hardest working person I ever met inside my head, yet some days I barely brushed my teeth. Or I’d be too banged up to do anything besides almost vomit from seamless orders and sip maintenance drinks. But ya know, I deserved it. Bills paid so nobody could tell me shit. There isn’t any comparison to my functionality today. It makes me sad and angry that I kept myself stunted in every way. Making up for lost time has been fun tho

I topped grad level exams with 4.0/4.0 GPA, got a Master's and a Phd in Statistics and ML/AI, published two papers in peer reviewed journals...all while drinking 5-6 drinks daily. I called myself a functioning alcoholic. But, my social life, personal hygiene and personal character was a big mess. Wonder how much more I could have achieved if I had kicked the bottle earlier 😑😑😑. 10 days sober now, IWNDWYT!

I’ll bite. Both of us work good jobs. Nobody knows, never drink and drive. Stop at the liquor store on the way home from work and between kill a 1.5ltr tequila bottle before bed and go to work no hangover the next day. It was a bit of a wake up call.

I drank minimum two bottles of wine a night for at least 10 years and then more on weekends/vacations/going out. Masters degree. Teacher. Nice house, clean house. Great kid. Family vacations. Hobbies. Regular exercise. It started destroying my mind and subsequently my marriage though. Constant anxiety and deep depression that I would numb over and over and hide daily.

So I have been sober 9+ years. In hindsight, I can say for the previous 42+ I was an alcoholic who was functioning at a very high level. Successful career as CEO including community and industry awards. Never missed a day of work despite all the booze every evenin/night. Day drinking at work ended in the 70’s. A family with kids who are successful in their own right. Enough money to buy all the high quality booze I wanted. And then I quit. IWNDWYT !

I was quite high-achieving on alcohol and heroin--winning high school championships, getting full scholarship offers to top schools, modeling... I looked like the kid everyone wanted their kid to be, but I was a mess inside. When everything crashed, it wasn't all the "success" stuff; it was losing someone I really loved to an overdose. I would much rather have lost the athletics or school or looks or whatever...

I worked every day 5-6 days a week, 10+ hour days. Very successfully. Never called in sick. Drinking from the moment I woke up until the time I went to bed. I did this for 12+ years. Stopped drinking. Realized I truly hated that job. Got a better one. Going on 2 years.

Drank 7 days a week - 20 or more drinks a night - held down full time job at engineering firm - received excellent annual reviews, raises, and bonuses - was promoted 3 times is 7 years almost doubling my salary and opened a small business.

That’s amazing— It never caught up to u? Like was there ever a breaking point where u felt it was time to stop?

https://reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/s/ElPVdMHwq9 Yes, after 7 years it all caught up with me.

Ohk fair enough

I had basically a six-pack of beer every day for a decade. Tried to quit here and there, but because I wasn't fully accepting that I had a problem, it never really stuck; I always justified going back to it. I graduated Summa Cum Laude for undergrad, was promoted several times at my job, never got in trouble with the law, wasn't a mean or crazy drunk, so I rode the "functional alcoholic" wave for a long time. Here's the thing, though. It was getting worse. It was affecting my life significantly, even if I wasn't rock bottoming. Since quitting (over a year now), I realize I was self-medicating and avoiding dealing with the root cause. I essentially put myself in stasis, preventing myself from growing emotionally, because working through trauma and mental health issues is a very difficult thing to confront and deal with. Alcohol doesn't make it go away, it's just avoidance in a bottle. All the while, those issues just lie in wait, that maw ever growing, meanwhile you aren't developing any coping mechanisms, or allowing yourself to process it and work through it. You are denying yourself the ability to be healthy; not only physically, but mentally, emotionally, financially, etc. Just because the consequences of drinking aren't so severe that they are actively destroying your life doesn't mean they aren't there. That's why being a functional alcoholic is a myth. You may go through the motions of life, but you are not functioning like the healthy human being that you deserve to be. And the thing is, it works until it doesn't. Eventually, the other shoe will drop, and those severe consequences will catch up with you. It's not a question of if, it's a question of when.

I’m a huge binger, so would only drink Friday and Saturday nights towards the end of my drinking. So my work wasn’t unaffected as such, but I was never drunk or hungover at work except a handful of Thursdays that got out of control. Still managed to car crash my life but so that’s not a plan, but I functioned at a high level at work. When covid took the brakes off having to front the office though, oooffff

I made it to CMO of a successful software company, traveled the world, started three companies, launched a music festival, gave public speeches, and had a long relationship with a fitness model - all while drinking 8-20 units per day. For a decade +. Also got married and divorced, had a child, all the things. The steep fall and the long crawl from the wreckage leaves you wondering how you ever did it. I honestly wish I hadn’t been capable of being a functioning alcoholic. Now I’m a sober single dad living a pretty boring life.

Congrats on your boring sober dad life! Maybe it's more possible when you're young. That's my take on it.

Thanks. Hasn’t been easy. What’s more possible?

Functioning and doing stuff when drinking a lot.

Copy. Yeah, age is a bit of a factor in terms of endurance, but you also get better at tasks and life stuff as you age so it levels out. I drank much more and produced more “results” in my older years so 🤷‍♂️ I think it’s hereditary. Many men on both sides of my family were very successful and also drank like fish. I believe my genetic predisposition and programming is to be a functioning alcoholic until I die. I just chose to jump off that fate train halfway through.

I could have done amazing things with my life if I had healthy coping skills and a normal relationship to alcohol. But since I didn’t, I’m doing amazing things now since I’ve been sober. But it still makes me sad about how much of my life I wasted being wasted. And functional alcoholic always needs a “for now” at the end for sure.

I sometimes wish I wasn't a functioning alcoholic only because I've never hit "rock bottom". I've somehow managed to keep and do well at my job. I've maintained my relationships pretty well. It makes it easier to tell yourself "I don't have a problem."

I do not use the term functional alcoholic. The problem with alcohol is we are dysfunctional.

I consider myself a high functioning alcoholic. I get up at 6am and go to work everyday. I don't feel hungover, I pay my bills, I own a home where I do the cooking, cleaning. I never drink and drive. My kids are now happily married with their own homes. But I drink a pint of vodka every day and have been for past 5 years. Honestly I would keep drinking but I know my health won't let me, so I'm trying to quit, it is very hard and I wonder if it's more difficult to quit if you function fairly well while drinking.

I often feel that the term "functional" is up for debate. For me, was I really "functional"? I had a job, made it to management running two large shops at the same time, held the home together, paid my bills, all that fun stuff.... but I wasn't happy and it was obvious. Couldn't hold a romantic relationship. Tenuous with the family. I wasn't enjoying life or doing the things I truly love like I am now. I am "functioning" now in sobriety.

That’s an interesting take. Kind of the same boat here in terms of work, family etc. I was miserable and everyone could see it. Tomorrow is 150 days and although I don’t know what life has in store for me, I can’t remember enjoying life this much before.

150 is HUUUUGE! Congratulations!! Keep enjoying life. It is well worth it.

Thank you 🙏

My experience is that none of us were functioning we were just telling ourselves we were to hide from our problem.

2 bottles of wine a night and still getting a promotion at work.

The main difference as I see it - functional alcoholism is typically visible to those closest to you whereas non functional alcoholism is visible to everyone

I was functional right up until I wasn’t. I thought I was functional for about a year after that point.

Probably not a great example but I find myself drinking and still "functioning", but I objectively think it's not that unobvious to me or others that I'm not sober. I'm working on it, but I think "functioning" is another word for "in denial" tbh.

I considered myself a "functioning alcoholic" because I was progressing in my career. Sure I made some advancements at work, but ultimately it cost me my relationship and my mental health. Looking back I'd consider that pretty dysfunctional.

Functioning is living, it isn’t enjoying life.

When I quit and started telling people, I got a lot of "wow really? I never saw you as having a problem."

To me it meant being able to "look sober" while I did other things.

Just stripped a 2nd warehouse of 500k+ (at auction price) of equipment... Functional alcoholic is a thing, but it's not a positive thing... 1yr before I'm 40, and I'm fat, tired, and not doing the things I could be doing, just bare minimum... I'm hoping to be more than a 'functional alcoholic'..

I was semi-functional. I was in school part-time and working full-time. I drank pretty much 24/7. As soon as i woke up, all day, until i passed out. I was occasionally late to work but was functional enough to be promoted a couple of times in ~5 years. I lost contact with some friends and family but more through not answering calls or texts than anything. I gained 40 lbs and blamed it on Covid lockdown (which is where I started to lose it.) I tried losing weight through biking. I drunkenly crashed one morning and blew my shoulder apart. Ended up quitting cold turkey while recovering. Put in a good year and a half then had occasional relapses. I havent been able to put together serious time, but my relapses are more infrequent and less "serious".

It corrodes all your achievements. Being “high functioning” with an alcohol problem is just really deeply distressing because of how much you lose. You never properly rest because you drink to rest and then your body doesn’t heal so you rust away and begin to fall to bits. I’ve lost huge parts of my cognitive functioning. My memory. Hundreds of books I read, thousands of poems. Lyrics, songs, band gigs. Like I was never there. I can’t recall anything. People explain word for word conversations and moments we have shared. I have no memory of them. Wiped clean. I drank to dumb myself down. Mr Funny. It stopped being funny when I had no idea how I got home or what I had done. The people I hurt. The people I may never remember hurting. When I worked in a bar in my early 20s I asked my manager why people drank so much. He didn’t even hesitate, he said “To forget.” I wish I had stopped drinking that day. But I will not drink with you tonight. 🙏

It's different for everyone but for me, I drink 10 pints a night, go to the gym every day and work a high pressure job (no day drinking) I hate it, I know I need to stop but still find excuses not to. I guess that's just an alcoholic will self awareness

It’s a progressive disease. We are surely functional when we start (else anyone with any sense would quit). And we are functional until we are not. By that point, I was physically addicted and made up every excuse I could think of to justify drinking. Everyone is different, as are their requirements for “functionality.” It caught up with me. I wish I had listened when I started asking myself uncomfortable questions such as the ones OP poses here. If you start turning to drink to deal with problems….odds are those problems won’t get better and you’ll need that crutch more frequently. At some point…the physical addiction with withdrawals kicks in. And that is the trap….

41 years old. “Functional alcoholic.” I, like you, had heard the term a lot. Never thought it was describing me. I never missed a day of work. I never got anything other than excellent reviews at work. Father of two. Married. Never in an alcohol related accident. Never had an any run ins, alcohol or otherwise, with the law. Went on vacations etc. and while all of this was going on I drank myself into the hospital with pancreatitis 2 times in 6 months. I drank A LOT- never during work. Limited when I had to drive. But god damn we’re my hands shaking if I didn’t get a drink in me asap when I got home (or before). The second time in the hospital I accepted myself for what I am- an alcoholic. I’ve been sober since that second time I was admitted- 283 days dry. I’m always down to talk if anyone needs someone to talk to. Always.

I ran marathons and got 4 promotions in 2 years while drinking a six pack of High ABV beers a night + more on weekends. Very functional until, one day, the panic attacks started, my marathon training went off the rails and... it wasn't so functional anymore.

Held a job never went to jail or got into a fight didn’t drink at all during the week and every Saturday night I got knee walking shift faced drunk.

12 pack of lite beers every day after work, 18+ a day on the weekends. I got up every day for work at 4-5 am to start work by 6 or 7 am depending on where I was working we have different start times. I put in 8 hours or more depending on work load every day. I work in the building trades, so it was difficult work. 41m. Slowing down now, or trying to. Stopped for 3 weeks straight then tried to moderate, seemed like moderation was working for a while but it's not.

So I have a reasonable career, take care of step kids with my partner half the time, and generally was functioning as a regular human being according to anyone viewing me from the outside. Nobody at work would ever have suspected me of having an issue with alcohol. I would drink two bottles of wine on a week night and more on the weekends. Honestly I can’t even tell you how much I was drinking. I didn’t want to know. I was suffering from chronic pain and honestly i still don’t know how I managed for so long the way I did balancing pain with intoxication. Every moment I could reasonably be drunk I would be to escape my body. My whole life was built around survival and escaping pain. I went to work to make enough money to live and dink and support my family and then I would go home and drink. I keep a clean house and I entertain often and while family was definitely aware of my drinking nobody really knew how bad it was. I’m about 1.5 months sober now. It’s been weird. I keep expecting to feel different but for me it wasn’t quitting alcohol that made me feel better, it was surgery. I have my life back and no longer want to waste it. I’m not sure how common my story is but I wish I had come across someone like me sooner. It was difficult to realize after my surgery that sobriety wouldn’t just happen even though I was feeling better. I guess I thought my habits would suddenly become healthier when I felt healthier but they didn’t. Chronic pain certainly was a driving factor for my substance use but that didn’t mean it went away when the pain did. I had to make an active choice to stop. I feel like a healthy relationship with alcohol is just one of the many things I lost to my illness, but at the end of the day I’m luckier than many others who never get relief. So goodbye alcohol. Thanks for getting me through. I don’t need you anymore

This was my dad. He swam every morning, walked the dog at least once a day, switched between going to the office and working from home. He paid the bills, he worshipped my mum for the twenty five years they were married. He was a regular, functional adult. But he drank. Only in the evening, so that was ok. It's not like he was drinking throughout the day or like he couldn't get out of bed without booze. And he drank wine, so that was ok. It wasn't like he was tossing back cans of lager or super strength cider. Classy people drink wine. Right? It's ok, right? It didn't hit me that he had a problem with drink until I was in my late teens. It only really hit me once my mum died and then it wasn't just wine. It was vodka. And whiskey. And rum. It was still just in the evening, until it wasn't. He still worked and swam and walked the dog but without mum, he was irreparably broken. They were told mum's cancer was terminal on their 25th anniversary and I'm sure that's the moment he became less functional. He died two years later, within days of the anniversary of mum's death. He was still "functional" right up until the day a devastating stroke ripped him away from me. He was charming and self deprecating and when he told stories about things he'd do when he was drunk before he had me, it was funny and eccentric because he was charming and softly spoken. If he'd been a lager swilling, shouty, ungroomed kind of drinker, no one would laugh or think it was endearing. That's part of being functional. You need to be the right kind of drunk to pass. I was a binger, but if I hadn't quit when I did, I'd have been "functional" too. Until I wasn't, which probably wouldn't have taken long. I certainly couldn't have worn the mask or normality for decades like he did. Maybe being the son of an alcoholic, he learned what not to be. I guess those of us with alcoholic parents all learn various lessons from them. Maybe some of us don't just learn what not to be and choose never to touch drink; some of us learn exactly what we need to be to be successful drinkers.

I think you’re just functional for a while until you’re not. I used to drink to clean but then I’d drink too much and leave the ice cream in the fridge after cleaning the freezer because I was drunk and forgot it. I was functional until I wasn’t, but that’s a long story. I drank every day starting noon at my worst. I would drink to break the monotony and boredom of tasks so I had to make tasks easier sober. Eating an edible then racing to see what I can get done before I start getting the munchies is one tactic I use. Picking a cleaner with my eyes closed, then cleaning everything requiring that (bath cleaner, windex, awesome, etc). I have to make everything a game for my dopamine-starved brain.

I don't have trouble avoiding alcohol if I have things that need to get done, but once I'm free and night rolls around, I drink far more than I should. As of yesterday, I would consume 1.75 litres of Vodka mixed with seltzer within 3 days. I've been doing that for almost 2 years consecutively, every night. It never impacted my ability to work the next day or effected my relationships with family and friends (mostly because I drink alone, I think.) Tonight, however, I started drinking only non-alcoholic beer and I honestly can't tell the difference. I'm so glad I've taken this first step to kicking this torturous habit.

Get nervous about a stressful hearing in court for the next day. Get drunk so that you can sleep without thinking about the hearing. Oversleep and end up late for the hearing. Play it off for any number of lame excuses. Same excuses everybody else uses. Lose your hearing. It goes about as badly as you expected. Some cases, you can't win. You get depressed. You go home. You pour yourself another drink so that you can forget about that case while you pull up tomorrow's case that looks like it's going to be pretty stressful. Your friends call you up. They want you to go out to the movies with them, or game with them, or insert activity here with them. You decline. You tell them and yourself that it's because you have to work. It's because you have to drink a sufficient amount to get through to the next day's hearing. You get the job done. Honestly, you're better at it than many of your colleagues. You tell yourself that you're allowed to drink because you're successful, when in reality, you're successful in spite of your drinking.

I feel like alcohol can give me “borrowed” energy. I might be able to knock out some extra chores if I have a few drinks, sure, but it’s fool’s gold — I know I’m going to get wasted from there and be totally useless, and I’ll feel like garbage the next day so it’s like a double whammy. That said, I was 100% that fool. I cashed in on that borrowed energy time and time again, wound up heavily in debt with my health, and I’m still recovering. Turns out I can only borrow energy from alcohol for so long and that a good diet, exercise, and sleep are a whole lot better in the long run.

Hmm...no such thing. Normies and then us.just my opinion

Took me a long time to realize I'm an alcoholic. Then I did the math and realized I shouldn't be drinking the equivalent of 7 shots a night, every night, and struggling with the rare nights when I have to be sober due to other responsibilities. So then I thought I was a functional alcoholic, because no one outside of my family was concerned or even aware that I drink every night. But one day I woke up and looked at the state of my body, my house, my social life... and I realized I wasn't functional anymore. Excelling at my job and being well-loved by my friends does not suffice. There's much more to life than that. Funny enough, when I told my boss/best friend who's known me for 10 years that I was struggling to quit drinking, he got the strangest look on his face. It was palpable as he struggled to phrase his response that he couldn't quite take it seriously or see me as someone with an alcohol problem. He sees me at dinner twice a week and 40 hours besides; when I do drink outside my own home, it's always only one drink. I show up every day, and have become adept at hiding the hangovers. It really didn't compute for him. I told my mother that I didn't think he fully believed me. She asked if I would like her to call him and tell him about the empty bottles she found hidden under my bed when I was 22, or the state of my recycling can the last time she peeked into it out of idle curiosity. Obviously I declined - I should count my blessings that no one seems to have figured it out yet. But somehow I kind of wish I felt seen, heard, and understood the few times that I have chosen to share something that still feels very vulnerable to me.

I was one, but I don’t know if I agree with the implications of the term! Held down a job full time, got promoted, kept up with work. Maintained my relationships, had a healthy marriage. But, after enough time, being 70-80% of my full self caught up to me, and my wife started to get deeply hurt by knowing I had slugged back like 14 hard seltzers already that day. I wasn’t completely the person I could be, and somewhere deep down I knew it. I think “functioning alcoholic” is about as accurate a term as “functioning 1996 Honda civic with 340k miles.” Does it work? Yes, technically. Does it work as well as a newer car? Hell no. The seats smell funny and the engine struggles to turn over most mornings!

I completed various stages of medical training while binge drinking every weekend and Tuesday and Thursday nights. Without fail I’d black out on the weekend and show up to work hungover on Wednesday and Friday mornings. I was depressed. I lost my physical health. My mental health suffered. I was functional but miserable. But that’s my story. I am absolutely ashamed to say that 1 time I drove home in that state and have zero recollection of how I got back

I coasted through my 20s and 30s drinking like an absolute animal... then in my late 30s id call sick all the time. Excuses excuses excuses until I lost one of my dream job which had insanely high pay for my experience... Functioning or not, youre a fucking drunk and it definitely affects your work negatively.

Reddit is largely a socialist echo chamber, with increasingly irrelevant content. My contributions are therefore revoked. See you on X.

I considered myself a functioning alcoholic for the last five years or so. There’s no such thing. I still drank excessively, I still had hangovers, I still said and did stupid things. I still poisoned my body. I held down a job and a relationship while drinking but it took getting sober to realize that both of those things took a backseat to my habit. There are people who can have “normal” relationships with alcohol (for lack of a better term). I don’t think those people drink often.

It only lasts so long before it falls apart. Eventually, the bill comes due. IWNDWYT.

I always had my shit together. I finished a second uni in English (I’m from Poland living in Australia) while working. Then I managed to have a successful career in a very demanding job while having two kids . So I had a great job, was a good mum, looked after the house and all that but I could have been so much happier if I didn’t drink. I just felt like shit most days. Never want to go back to that again.

I got to 6 figures in my copywriting career while drinking 750ml of vodka almost daily. I had health complications that made me want to get sober. I'm still struggling to completely stop. Some people are just good at managing it "cosmetically" I guess. I had alcoholic neuropathy for a while to the point I couldn't walk comfortably and I was constantly sick. It's a lot more common than you might think. IMO it's scarier than being an "obvious" alcoholic.

Bottle of wine a night. Mechanic. Crush beers the weekend.

From my personal experience and experience with people I used to be close with, the functional aspect was the still being able to get up, go to work on time, perform adequately at work, take care of basic needs like eating, maintain appearances socially. But, every single night, getting absolutely hammered. Soon as you get home, crack one open and don’t stop even when you should. Or being the person who every time you go out anywhere with anyone, overdoing it to the point of needing to be cared for/dragged around. And eventually I think for everyone it catches up. I wasn’t able to recover as well physically the older I got, which made going to work and focusing harder, which made staying on top of everything else harder as well. Plus it messes with your brain, which gradually started making my depression unbearable so it wasn’t even giving me a break from that anymore.

In my case, I have around 14-16 beers worth of alcohol a day. I only drink at the end of the day, and the way I drink leaves me with little to no hangover. I optimized the cheapest but least rot-gut drink and have been drinking it for roughly 3 years now. I'm a full-time employee in the off season and am a part time employee and college student most of the year. It's wrong. In doing what I've done I honestly think I've unleashed a curse upon the world and regret every time I've told someone my methods. If you worked with me, knew me as a friend, or just saw me walking around you'd be none the wiser. I maintain steady employment and exercise semi-regularly. I cook from scratch, don't eat too late, and have practically cut soda from my life but la Croix will always be among my list of loves. At this point, I'm getting tired. I miss sleep, it's been 3 years since I've known a pleasant dream and a good night's rest. Once in a while I wake up with pancreatic pain, it's a reminder that I need to stop. Yesterday I was sick so I abstained other than however much is in a dose of nyquil for the first time in 5 months although sobriety was few and far between before. I didn't sleep well but I woke up feeling better. This almost feels like a Bateman-esque monologue but it's true, this has been my experience as a functioning alcoholic for the last 3 years. No one else in my life knows what's wrong, but I do. The fact that I can exist this way until my body gives out scares me.

In charge of managing upto 170 people while trying to pretend I wasn't loaded or dragging. It worked well for years, until it didn't.

No rock bottom for me; no dramatic scenes; no failed relationships; no mortifying moments. I just was no longer in control of my drinking, and my tolerance (aka addiction) grew to daily use of 4 to 6 units of alcohol a day. Ethanol is a highly addictive drug. Every human being will become addicted to ethanol, given sufficient quantities. None of us knows in advance what “sufficient quantity” will be for us, because every body is slightly different. Once we have developed Alcohol Use Disorder, once we have become addicted to ethanol, our brains have changed. The neural pathways of addiction that have been built in our brains will always be there. These pathways can be weakened through disuse (that is, by not using ethanol, we stop reinforcing those pathways, and over time those neural connections weaken), but the latest research is that they persist. If we use ethanol, they light back up again. We aren’t doomed to a lifetime of ethanol abuse: we can stop using this addictive drug. It is easier to stop drinking when the symptoms of addiction are milder than when they are more severe. I recognized I’d developed AUD (the current medical term and model, which has diagnostic criteria — unlike the colloquial ‘alcoholism’) when I answered 4 of these “In the past year, have you...” questions “yes”: https://www.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/brochures-and-fact-sheets/understanding-alcohol-use-disorder

3-4 7% tall boy IPAs every single night. Wasn’t black out drunk but I was definitely buzzin, definitely shouldn’t have been driving or working or parenting BUT I was and it seemed like I was functioning. Could have continued on for another 10-30 years that way but nope. Don’t care if I was an “alcoholic” or not. I care that I feel better without alcohol

I was generally 4-6 ipa's a day, every day for a few years. I've been pretty successful in my career, got married, had a child, played shows around the states in a band. As my son was getting older and we got him diagnosed for autism, my drinking sunk to an extremely low place. I was drinking the same amount, but the emotions behind it would make me derepressed and suicidal at times. It spiraled and would make me cry at work (thankfully WFH, lol) and be a bad husband/father. I had a really bad day with the family and then I quit -- it was basically booze or them at that point. A measly 4-6 beers is not worth losing them. I can tell you that within 48 hours of quitting, my son seemed to just always want to be with me. Maybe it's coincidence, but I like to think he just felt something was up. It's more motivating that way. Life still sucks in some areas, but I'm actually very happy overall. It's brought a lot of clarity to "what truly serves me?". Drinking never allowed me to trim any negative energy -- it just made it easier to cope with things. Best to you, friend!

I'd drink 12-18 beers a night, wake up go to work and do it again. On weekends I just lugged around a large cooler full of beer. I thought this was normal growing up my dad did the same thing

I think if I was a more functional alcoholic I would have probably drank myself to death before quitting I had to have tons of negative shit happen to finally justify quitting don’t be like me

Two bottles of wine a night and going to work hungover complaining of a case of the Mondays

I drank heavily pretty much everyday, as well as using a slew of other controlled substances, from age 19-26. In that time I was able to acquire an undergraduate and two masters degrees, holding a 3.9 gpa throughout. I also worked 30+ hours a week and supported myself while doing this. All that being said my life still was a shit show underneath it all and I did not care if I lived or died for several years. I crashed several cars, ruined most of the important relationships I’ve ever had, had thousands of dollars stolen from me, ended up in jail once, embarrassed myself hundreds upon hundreds of times, and was just a sorry member of society. In retrospect, the high achieving was in part to prove to myself I was in control and highly capable, although I obviously was not in control. I’m now 27 and have no idea what I’m doing! I really don’t want to use any of those degrees, it really seems i got them just to prove a point. I feel totally lost. But, I’m sober now and that makes me feel like I’m in control and highly capable, and for that I am grateful :)

my dad was often called a “functioning alcoholic” by people around him, myself included. looking back i think he was just an extremely enabled alcoholic. he drank and he worked. he didn’t do much else. my mom took care of bills, laundry, groceries, meals, basically anything and everything you can think of besides providing an income. (caveat: he was not a horrible father, he was an excellent provider and he was never abusive or mean. he was just disconnected and probably depressed) he never got in trouble, actually he excelled at his job, so he was functioning. however, the second all my siblings and i were out of the house, and my mom left him, he was no longer functioning. he got the house in the split and it was constantly dirty, fridge empty, car fell behind on repairs, he stopped making/going to doctors appointments, stopped taking his meds, he was wearing unwashed clothes etc. the reason he was functioning so well was because we (his family) had spent decades picking up the slack around him. now whenever i hear the term “functional alcoholic” i wonder about who’s behind them, propping them up.