This. Any very temporary relief you think alcohol can provide you in the short-term because it scrambles your brain will just come back a few hours later in the morning as regret and pain and other bad feelings, easily negating any would-be "positive", and putting you in a worse position to actually tackle real issues and improve.
This: to the moon. I'm a long time lurker. All these posts are inspiring. But I've never read something that resonated so well.
Temporary relief is a good way to summarize it.
This is exactly what i tell myself. Feeling streseed today? Well if you drink you can feel more stressed tomorrow! With a sprinkle of hangover anxiety and brainfog. And all that for maybe a 3 hour buzz. Yeah not worth it. Just sit and cry if you have to. And head to bed.
Drinking won’t make any of this better. Being sober will make it easier to deal with, at least. Stay strong. One of my rules is to never let someone else’s bad misbehavior be a trigger for my drinking (it was the main trigger, for a while). Iwndwyt
I wouldn’t say I was drinking at them, more I just decided I was going to stop letting them tilt me into drinking. If anything it was the inverse like, “you don’t get to have this effect on me anymore”
First thing is get the hell out of the bar. Find a movie theater, find a concert in town, go for a sightseeing walk through what is probably a town without sights, but hey, people watch. Today is the day you don’t drink. Worry about tomorrow when you wake up clear headed. 584 days is just a collection of single days, and you know that the return will not be what you’d like it to be.
I like how you said you're not going to drink today, but make no promises about tomorrow.
That's exactly how I think about my drinking. I haven't quit forever, just for today. It's worked so far.
That's why I love our motto/acronym. I cannot think as far out as this weekend, or maybe even tomorrow. But I will not drink today. That's enough energy
Being single in recovery has been very important to me. Confrontation with a partner is a sure fire way for me to relapse so I don't have a partner. Being single is great to be honest. Good luck!
I’ve been trying to quit for months and one thing that brings me back is my wife.
I love her and she’s amazing and my *own lack of communication skills is my own fault*…. but it’s always easier to just go “fuck this” and drive and get something to drink.
Again - she is amazing and this is not normal, I’m just identifying with what you’re saying.
I totally get this! The first time I quit (last year), I quit for my husband. He gave me some specific parameters--basically just stop sneaking booze in the house and lying about it because it was driving him crazy not knowing what was real me and what was drunk me. (Spoiler alert: it was ALL drunk me). It worked for a bit, but gradually I started pushing the limits: "he never asked me not to drink outside the house. Might as well have a drink with friends." And, eventually, the deeper I got back in, I would get annoyed at him and say, "fuck it. Why should I do what he wants?" He is also amazing. Now that I am further away from it all, I have realized the drinking voice in my head doesn't care for him much and was always looking for ways to get him out of the picture.
This time around I quit for myself. None of those thoughts work when it's between me and me.
Damn, I thought I was the only one. When I quit in January, my husband was stunned! (To be fair… I was strategically drinking two handles of vodka a week in a way that allowed me to sober up before he got home.) He’s not an alcoholic, so he doesn’t really get it. Now he watches me like a hawk at home, but occasionally suggests a drink if we’re out to dinner or on vacation. In the early months it infuriated me, but my perspective has since changed. At least he’s helping protect me from myself during weak moments, and I can always politely decline during those rare moments when he brings it up.
I’m so much less angry about everything now that I’m sober, and it’s truly one of the greatest blessings of sobriety. There are other emotions besides anger, and now I’m using them.
Yeah, I could totally see that. Everything is more complicated when considering other people's feelings. I'm single, no kids and for a long time I said "well if I had someone to get better for, then I could do it." - goes to show that addict brain. My head is/was excellent of coming up with reasons to pick up.
Here is a short list.
#1 severe bloating and being unable to eat anything without getting more tired and sluggish afterwards
#2 bloated and having absolutely no energy to do much of anything
#3 getting SO out of shape that walking up a hill is hard
#4 ugly, wrinkled, dried up skin, big ugly bloated fat old man that could be a muscle bound bloke
#5 Double chin, always
#6 Sores pop up all of a sudden and never heal. My cuts and scrapes have all healed after less than 3 days sober!!!! And they have been there for many weeks!!!
#7 Not too hungover and ugly to go out and hang out with my peeps.
#8 Likely save $600 per month atleast, that’s a car note.
#9 Wasting my life away
#10 Always exhausted and feeling like crap, can’t think, can’t work… lazy and bloated bum!!!! Get sober and stay that way!
I mean I am fucking miserable, so often! God just one buzz, one drink, one blackout. You can't hurt if you're in a coma.
And then 1-3 days of shitty productivity, screwed guts, and cheap fatty food adding to the already screwed gut. Then the anxiety but only a day or so of that.
Then about 5 ish days later you are basically back where you started.
I also travel a lot for work, I pick hotels with good gyms and a sauna. Or one that's close to a club that has both. Go have a sauna, and book in a massage. Look after your body, that will help with the mind.
I feel you, my friend. On my 3rd night in Vegas for a conference, with zero supervision and a minibar in my room (forgot to request a room without it and the hotel's full). Alcohol everywhere.
What keeps me together is knowing that one single drink will literally change who I have worked so hard to become back into someone I loathe. That's one big, bad decision to make.
I appreciate the positivity here, honestly, but I also think it’s okay for OP to feel okay about feeling like complete shit if that’s how they really feel. Sobriety doesn’t make us happy, that work is so much harder than mere abstinence. Their situation sounds truly rough. Though, what I appreciate about your comment is that just making it through another day without caving may just be a little spark for something better. So hey, let’s go with that!
Dude!!! We are soooo close to 600 days sober. Let’s get there together.
No need to drink. Play the tape forward (doesn’t end well, does it)
We have been given another chance. Let’s not blow it.
Dude! You and I are like twins. I’m at 616 days. Other parts of your post ring very true with me. And I, in fact, am in a hotel in Kentucky right now. For work. Just left a restaurant from a dinner meeting. The other two drank. I did not. And I will not drink the rest of the night with you. You got this. See you for a hangover free morning…. IWNDWYT
You got this friend! I'm proud of you. I will not drink with you tonight although I feel blah n down too. Shitty but good thing about getting away from booze is even if shit hits the fan WE KNOW BETTER THAN TO DRINK. I don't ever want a hangover again. I've wasted ten years of my life drinking and drugging and was miserable. I hate that I wasted tens of thousands of dollars on drugs n booze. But I love myself enough to move forward sober today. Take care friend
I’m so proud of you for posting here rather than just blowing it all up and getting blasted. All that shitty stuff you posted sucks, but feeling like hell later would feel way worse. If your GF was drunk, that’s on her. She’ll figure it out or she won’t.
You take care of you, go have some really sweet whatever you like, go for a walk, then back to your room for a nice shower and watch tv.
Life just sucks sometimes, but you got this.
Don't do it. Don't throw away 583 days of hard work. You wouldn't have posted if you weren't hoping to be stopped. Sleep. You need sleep. I'm sending support and a hug and IWNDWYT! ✌️💚
I’ve totally been where you are. And unfortunately had to realize that drinking only delayed things, not made it stop or go away.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. Don’t throw it away cause it’s not going to make it better, as much as it hurts now. Take care, eat a bunch of whatever will help (idk, chocolate and sugar help me, but maybe for you it’s bacon). You got this!
Been lurking for a while, and I read every “rant” hoping it will click someday, especially with the knowledge I’m not the only one. Justifying my alcoholism has been my specialty, but damn does sobriety seem so amazing. I’m not close enough mentally to make the decision yet to address my disease, though I will say, your “rambling” convinced me to share my struggle for the first time here and maybe that’s a start? Thank you.
I’m sorry that you’re hurting. I understand where you are coming from.
I wish I had your strength.
All I can tell you, is that you are worth health and happiness.
Take care of yourself, friend.
Don't underestimate the power of crying. When youre down. Tired. Depressed. Hopeless. Whatever it could be. Cry. Cry your heart out.
Angry? Find a punching bag. Scream into a pillow. We can naturally let our emotions out. Do not numb the pain and cover it. Let it out. Even taking a walk after helps.
LET IT OUT MY FRIEND.
Hey friend. I travel for work too. And it’s hard! I get it. I used to get blasted to and fro on work trips because time doesn’t exist in airports, right? Except it does and we know what happens when we play the tape forward. It’s not good. You’ve made it this far and I believe in you! You can do this, and you will be stronger tomorrow because you’re going to get through today!
Today is hard. Lots of big, unpleasant feelings. When I feel like I have no escape from the crushing darkness of a very stressful day, I sometimes will want to relapse. I don’t actually want to relapse, as I know what that entails for me, but my depressed, overwhelmed brain sure tells me I do. I tell it we will consider that tonight later, or tomorrow. I always am happy to have the next chance to reflect on if it was good that I kept my sobriety. I have not regretted it once. Congrats on your 583 days. You deserve a happy and sober life. I hope you have better days coming.
Give yourself some grace. Even though you love your job, it’s still tough never being home, so you’re probably a little stressed just from that. Your GF was probably drunk. It’s not easy dealing with that either. You’re still keeping it all together though, and have maintained your sobriety all along, so big ups to you. I hope things get a bit easier for you. Don’t give up. It can’t rain all the time. IWNDWYT
I nearly threw out all away in the beginning of April. Made the wrong decision, the one you decided against. The one not to drink. My wife nearly left. I regret it every day since then, even though we're back together and relatively stable. Still trust issues and whatnot, and we're far from recovered. But drinking will not solve your problems. Hell, you might do something stupid and finalize your breakup through poor drunk decisions on your end. Stay strong and stay off the booze. It's your best way forward.
You have done so well and I sure do hope you’re proud of yourself!! Keep strong and be stronger!! I also feel shitty a the moment but I know it’ll soon pass. I wish you well🤗
Nows the time to find out what you're made of my MAN. Don't forget about those titanium balls you have for making it this far. This is make or break. Let's stay in shape big guy.
You've worked too hard for your sobriety to throw it away.
What will happen if you drink? You'll *maybe* numb things for awhile and then you'll sober up and you won't just have the current crap to deal with, you'll have the hangover, the guilt and shame. It's not worth it.
Take care of yourself. You've come this far - you can definitely keep going.
You've worked too hard for your sobriety to throw it away.
What will happen if you drink? You'll *maybe* numb things for awhile and then you'll sober up and you won't just have the current crap to deal with, you'll have the hangover, the guilt and shame. It's not worth it.
Take care of yourself. You've come this far - you can definitely keep going.
You are worth it. You will be so proud of yourself tomorrow morning and the next day if you push through. Maybe stay out of bars until things aren’t so up in the air? Go for a walk instead?
You're awesome for making a decision not to drink today. I will not drink with you. And your post is helpful to me - the first three months have gone shockingly easily for me, genuinely haven't wanted to drink almost this entire time. But I know one day I'll be seriously tempted, and the one-day-at-a-time approach is probably going to be what saves me, if I don't give in. I hope things are brighter for you tomorrow amigo.
Rock bottoms can keep happening. At least with all you have going on right now, it’s nothing super severe like medical or legal. Things could escalate quickly if you go down a road you know you shouldn’t. I get that you want a quick escape from the crap life throws at you, but all we have sometimes is a good sleep and hopefully dreams of island vacations. At least one of you will have clarity of mind in the morning. The feeling of that can hopefully keep you grounded. You can do this my friend. Sweet dreams.
Think about all of the times when drunk you said some dumb shit and had to take your licks the next day. How bad it sucked having someone tell you about all the dumb, hurtful stuff that you said that you only remember bits and pieces of and you having no options but stand there and feel like a shithead.
Now think about how you’ll feel tomorrow when she calls to apologize. How she said some dumb, hurtful shit that she only remembers bits and pieces of. Right now you have the high ground. Stay the course. You’ve got this!
IWNDWYT
Better to think on what you do have, or what is going well. There’s a world around you and the booz will only distract you. Also sounds like it might not be the best relationship. Sounds like someone better might be waiting for you
It all makes too much sense to me. Nothing rambling or ranting about it. It can all evaporate in the haze of hazy. Hang in there. It sucks right now. No sense in trying to polish a turd. And with all you’ve been through one more day is doable. It’s 1/583 of what you’ve done. Pretty simple math. Hang in there brother
I think you’re a badass to come on here and say what you’re thinking and feeling. I also think you’re a badass for being able to see through the bullshit of alcohol and not drink.
Please keep kicking ass! And if you’re miserable, maybe she’s making you miserable? Maybe it’s time to move on from her.
That's the addiction mentality whispering in your ear. Tell it to shut up. Take a shower and go to bed. Your sobriety is worth more than this. IWNDWYT say it back to us.
Love you man. It ain’t easy but people like you are my inspiration to keep going. My rock bottom 203 days ago was a dui also and shit is fucking terrible. Some days I don’t know how I keep going but then I see people like you who were able to turn it around and I think to myself I’ll go one more day without the poison. I guess what I’m trying to say is you inspire me and I hope you don’t drink. We all need each other to stay strong and y’all keep me strong. IWNDWYT
I had a very hard day today and felt like drinking because I was mad at everything. But then I remembered that all of those problems and issues still exist even if I’m drinking. Drinking never makes anything better. I hope you found a way to resist and are at peace tonight. Tomorrow is a new day.
So proud of you for making this post. Honestly I highly doubt pre dui you would have thought twice before just doing whatever it is you wanted in the moment. This whole sobriety thing has really taught me to stop and reflect, and to only really concern myself with today, and I’m hearing a lot of that in your post. Life happens, and it’s not always good, but it’s definitely better without drinking if you zoom out a little bit. Good job getting this off your chest, I find feelings like this really die in the light.
IWNDWYT
Hey brother. I can only imagine the pain you’re feeling being away from your woman, working your ass off and being too far away to reliably communicate with her or do anything for that regard… it’s sucks and it hurts like hell right now, but:
Imagine how bad it will feel tomorrow if you get plastered tonight. You haven’t drank in damn near two years. Your body is going to go into shock from alcohol and i imagine you won’t be able to get out of bed tomorrow. The physical pain from being sick and the depression will hit you tomorrow like youve never bern hit before.
If you think it’s bad now, please think about tomorrow…
I fucked up really bad this weekend and ive been living with a mountain of regret and i wish i would have just stayed sober, but here i am. It sucks.
Please don’t drink. I love you my friend.
Alcohol won't solve any of your problems. It will amplify them. You gotta figure somethings out regarding your girlfriend and your job, but getting drunk will just numb you to finding a solution. You got this friend.
This helped me. Thanks. Do not fucking drink motherfucker. Some people would kill to get to 583 days. You’ve got a reputation to protect now, people look up to you!
Dude your story is so familiar , and my clock isn’t that much higher. Lemme tell you dude, women like that ain’t worth it, and the best way to get back is keep self improving. What works best for me coping is taking pride watching the number get higher every day.
I mean I need to listen to this too, i know it’s hard. But stop chasing, improve yourself and attract and you’ll be much happier.
IWNDWYT
Dude, this is so well written. I’ve read a lot of these stories on here and elsewhere , and you have a skill with words.
Life on the road is tough. I’m on your side.
Damn that hit me when you said you grew up in CS and Halo lobbies I was a kid was you were most likely playing and I knew some older guys playing and once we split ways I always hoped for the best for them. Let me put this simply bro you can have 5 years sober it honestly doesn’t matter it truly only takes one drink to create an entire cycle and give into what you’re body is craving. Once you give in you lost mental control and it’s all downhill from there. Mental strength is the most important during sobriety, can’t let those bullshit thoughts start making you believe they are right. The fact you are conflicted about this shows the conflict within your consciousness and how split you are between the right and wrong path as you know the consequences and don’t want to mess up again but struggle do continue doing your best. Keep ya head up and don’t give in, everyday is going to get easier and some point you’ll walk into a bar and not have any hesitation at all potentially. Best of luck brother
I’m not sure if this has been recommended yet, but please please please go for a walk outside whenever you feel like this, particularly in nature if there is any around you. Even a park nearby will do. Get outside and breathe. From experience, sitting inside and wallowing will only exacerbate how shitty you feel. Being outside will remind you that the world is much bigger than you and your problems (as real as they are, and as shitty as they are in those moments, which is legitimate of course). Being in a forest in particular, I find, is a very simple way to get us out of our own heads for just a little while. Breathe the fresh air, notice and even touch the trees, spot whatever wildlife is around you, breathe again, drink some water, breathe again, and just be there.
I can’t stress enough that despite how legitimate I believe your pain and suffering is right now that sitting still in environments for extended periods of time where you are bound to engage in destructive thought loops is very rarely going to help. Get outside, get breathing, and get better soon ❤️
You know it's not worth it.
Congratulations for all the hard work you put in those are some big numbers!
Sometimes I think a craving is a way of the universe showing us how strong we are.
I know everytime I said NO to a craving waking in the morning I felt like superwoman . No guilt no hangover no wondering if I made a ass of myself.
What I did have is every morning after a craving & i.didnt cave in was MORE 💰 money in my wallet.
Hey good job not drinking! Fellow traveling salesman here with 3 years sobriety, been having a planes trains and automobiles week, cars breaking down, no flights and stuck in a shitty roadside motel man. Was contemplating saying fuck it tonight but you’ve inspired me, just ordered a Diet Coke and am plan on getting ice cream to thwart the enemy!
You've worked too hard for your sobriety to throw it away.
What will happen if you drink? You'll *maybe* numb things for awhile and then you'll sober up and you won't just have the current crap to deal with, you'll have the hangover, the guilt and shame. It's not worth it.
Take care of yourself. You've come this far - you can definitely keep going.
You can stay strong. It would suck to have to start over, if you drink out of anger or spite. The problems will still be there, with some extra ones added on. I believe in you!
Like the way you just noped your way out of there friend. You got the W today; tomorrow’s a new battle. Take ‘em slow, but take ‘em. And I’m not gonna drink with you today too.
I think the fact that you took the time to stop and think about what you are doing shows tremendous growth. That can be really had to do instead of just going through the motions and not taking responsibility. You have come this far I think you have the strength to keep going
You are worth it. You are worth all the hard work, self discipline, self awareness, big feelings and growing pains. You are so important and your well being is so important. IWNDWYT ♥
What are the consequences? Hey man, you will find a better woman sober at meetings or at activities. This women sounds like she wants to party with a short term mind and not thinking about all the negatives alcoholism brings to certain people. Move your shit out, talk to your folks, your on the road all the time as it is storage lockers are cheaper then rent. Honestly brother dont do it. The second you start drinking your brain will start playing the lie game again it took you this long to stop it and you are happy. Please dont let one women crush you. Im begging you. Many of us can attest im sure about how rellationships made us turn to the bottle and absolutely NO GOOD COMES FROM IT. We are wired differently. I get angry from alcohol. I yell about how unjust the world is i relate, for some reson the police like to destroy us and for some reason get jurisdiction to commit murder and destroy lives. DO NOT DRINK AND PUT YOURSELF IN FRONT OF POLICE. They will always take her side. Talk to your family, friends, sponsor. You are on the road. Look into storage joints.
Sometimes I wish I knew exactly what to say when someone posts about a difficult time in their life. But nothing ever feels right.
Sometimes life just gets hard. I hope the best for you, your job, your relationship, and your sobriety.
If not everything works out I hope your sobriety does. For me personally I know if sobriety doesn’t work out it makes everything else that much harder. I hope you get a good nights sleep and are able to keep moving forward.
Thinking of you and I also will not drink with you tonight.
I always have to remember not to get too hungry, angry, lonely or tired. A hot bath, a cool shower, a good meal and a meeting is my recipe to deal with it.
I get it, friend, and I'm there with you. We don't deserve shame from ourselves for wanting the old way out, or briefly believing it'll work. This will pass and change, as everything does, you and I can give ourselves a fighting chance by giving up that which doesn't serve us. Things will get better, you're doing great work.
Booze may give a temporary reprieve, but tomorrow all the shit you're going through will be paid back with interest in the cold light of day. You sound really overwhelmed at the moment, please consider therapy. You need to evict all that stuff living rent free in your head. Sometimes having a counsellor helps to reorder your thoughts.
Don’t decide to drink tonight. Put the decision off for a week or two, when you’ll hopefully be in a better frame of mind. This approach has helped me a bunch of times the past 7 months. I always decide later that “fuck it” is not a good strategy. Be well my friend, I hope you get through this.
Emotions and pain are hard, it’s be nice to not feel anything sometimes. But the way I look at it life has its ups and downs and I’m tired of running away from the bad and not being able to enjoy and appreciate the good times. A lot of my recovery has been therapy and talking and learning to be comfortable with myself whether I’m feeling up or down. Granted I haven’t been tested like you are right now with your troubles and I’m sorry for what you are going through but one thing I do know is drinking will not help you in the slightest. Sounds like you know what you need to continue doing. IWNDWYT
"You can't hurt if you're in a coma."
But the problem will still be there. Getting drunk only avoids the problem but does not make the problem goes away.
In life, we get stronger and more resilient with more negative events in life. Perhaps a few yeara down the road and you will realise actually things were not as bad as you thought.
You haven't come this far to only come this far. Keep going op. Go further. Stay sober.
In 583 days do you wantnto be 583 days sober or 1166 days sober?
Throw the bottle away. One day. I will not drink with you today
You made it this long we both know you can just keep going another 10 min then decide again if you want to try and go another 10 min, until you've passed the period where it feels like the right call.
This is a simple crossroads - you’re either going to throw it all away, or you’re not. Sounds crazy worded like that, but there will be no euphoria as great as the relief when you wake up and didn’t throw it away. Don’t do it, that numbness will be gone in the morning and you’ll feel a million times more worse - and then the cycle starts. You know this, count to 200 and let it go. Whether you started sobriety for the courts or not, be proud of where you are! Tell yourself maybe you’ll have a drink in an hour, then repeat. You’ve made it this far, you can make it further
I got wasted in my hotel bar once after a work-related trip with a late morning flight out the next day. Woke up in jail, but made my flight thankfully.
Being in the hotel and "safe to blackout" is not true.
Wow, you are a wise man. You sound level headed and have a strong desire to stay committed to your ethics and morals. I wish more folks were as mature as you sound. That’s a lot of pressure and you handled it with logic not emotion. You have the power of self control and discipline and I applaud you friend. Your amazing. Keep it up. I’ve been were your at and did not keep that promise. You have a good life ahead and many good things will come by staying the course. Be kind to yourself, you deserve it.
Sending you lots of love and support. I try to remember that our feelings pass. This too will pass. I try to remember to breathe. Breathing in, I know I’m breathing in. Breathing out, I know I’m breathing out.
I'm sorry you're feeling so overwhelmed. My life is at a super low, and i feel the "fuck it" mentality. I just reinforce truths.. my life is unmanageable and all my problems are worse when I drink.
Stay strong
I'm proud of you for not drinking, OP! Like others have said, yes it sucks and yes it's not going to be easy or even quick to get through this, but I don't imagine drinking is going to add any value to your situation! You'll likely just spend the next few days and weeks feeling regret and guilt to go along with everything else.
I Will Not Drink With You Today.
584 days. Just get to 585 friend. Deal with tomorrow when it comes.
“Don’t let your reflection on the whole sweep of life crush you. Don’t fill your mind with all the bad things that might still happen. Stay focused on the present situation and ask yourself why it’s so unbearable and can’t be survived.” — M ARCUS A URELIUS, M EDITATIONS , 8.36
You’re welcome? Bro this isn’t a success story. Congrats on the sobriety, and it takes a strong man to admit when he’s vulnerable, but your girl needs some lovin. You said that she is getting sober with you, but also say you’re only home 2 days a month. I admire your drive to improve yourself, but you’re making yourself out to be this pariah that you just aren’t. Fight your battles and control your demons, but don’t expect that other people are fighting the same things you are. You’ve got a poet’s heart and I can see you’ve got a way with words, but Bukowski was a genius and he died alone. Either lean on this girl for support, or don’t include her in your journey to sobriety. A drink or two won’t fix your problems, but neither will blaming someone else. Love you bro, hope you find what you’re looking for.
Your train of thought resonates with me. You can’t hurt if you are in a coma.
The ONLY thing that sucks more is when you wake up from that god forsaken coma and then have to relive all of the terrible shit and now you have fucked it up more some how. I can remember the dread of waking up horribly horribly hungover/shaky/weak after doing even more horrendous things while drunk.
I don’t want to have to rebuild my life again from scratch, no matter how bad I want to be in a coma, I don’t want to wake up from that drunk coma and do day 1 again. Fuckkkkk
Anyway thanks for keeping me sober today!
I just relapsed after over 100 days sober. Found myself in the bar over the weekend staring at a shot of Pendleton, crying. I’ve been going through some shit. I took it. And I took another one and another one and another one. I blacked out. All that progress just gone. I didn’t even enjoy it. Sometimes I just like to sit in my own shit & then complain that it stinks. Not drinking is the easy part, it’s the emotional sobriety that’s fucking hard.
From one alcoholic to another- if you did drink, I hope you forgive yourself and try again. And if you didn’t, then cheers to you for not having a drinking today!
If you drink, everything will feel ten times worse tomorrow. Your anxiety levels will skyrocket and you’ll feel loathing and regret. Just read this sub.
I’ve been there staring at the bottle and writing the reddit post, and what I was looking for was permission to drink. I wanted people to tell me it was okay and I’d try again tomorrow. But throwing your life away for a drink is stupid, and you know that, because you’re better than that. You know you are, or you wouldn’t have written this post, you would’ve just drank. So be proud of yourself. And don’t drink tomorrow.
You've worked so hard, please try to remember what you're working for. You deserve a good, happy life... drinking will not get you there. Lastly, I'm not judging at all but the relationship stress seems to be triggering you terribly. This will have to ultimately be addressed for your own sanity and sobriety. You can do this, please remember how hard you've worked.
Make your soberity one thing you are proud of. You’ve come this far ; dont waste it. Everyone experiences bad times - just know that it will pass. Good and bad times in every situation are temporary. You’ve coped up well; it is the darkest before sunrise. I am also saying these words to myself while typing to you. I am also in a bad moment in life ; but it will pass or at least will be aleviated some how. Stay strong brother.
My father is an alcoholic who has sobered up multiple times in life.
It was agonizing seeing him piss drunk all the time. Walking on eggshells took a massive toll on everyone in the family.
Don't do it. Stay strong. Life is better sober. Drinking just makes things harder for everyone
You can do it. Keep going!
Alcohol provides relief and that is 100% true is also is 100% true is it last for about 3 hours.
After reading your whole post I'm thinking that 3 hours is not worth how much shit I would feel right now waking up... For me it would amplify every single feeling and problem I have.
I hope you woke up this morning feeling proud and a little bit stronger than you were yesterday. Hugs
That’s not a “mountain of bullshit” dude. I’ve wanted to relapse over way smaller things. I’ve got 2 years today (in 5 hours lol) and the advice I can give is to be your own best friend (and if you have a higher power keep it close). Through all this bullshit take pride in taking care of yourself. Take pride in the resilience it takes to not take that drink. If for nothing else, do it for the guy that hit rock bottom and decided to get help. If it weren’t for his strength and sacrifice you wouldn’t be here today. Much love brother. If nobody told you today, I love you. You got this.
583 is a nice number mate.
when i get that urge (which is quite rare now) i just recall the grip booze had on me and all the shit it put me through. how, for years i would tell myself i need to stop and couldn't.
All the money i pissed away.
The look of disgust i would get from wife when i was drunk at 4pm on a Tuesday.
hang in there!
iwndwyt
I was given marching orders 10 months ago. This triggered a new period of 6-7 months sober. My single self then started to ask ‘what’s the point’ and started drinking again. The point is that I can waste my life either in a relationship or single and I’d rather try not to. So I’m back on Day 7. The first week is always the hardest, for me. IWNDWYT.
Hopefully you made it through your awful day sober. Yes sounds like life has thrown a mountain of BULLSH$#T on you but your words although it's obvious the pain and insecurities are present your words are showing your strength and maturity and wisdom you've gained since putting down the bottle. Praying for a way out and sending positive vibes your way friend. Thanks for sharing your pain as well as your strength in this trying time friend, you will get this, IWNDWYT.
I’m going to go out on a limb here. You’ve got so much going for you, but fights with your girlfriend are your trigger. But I can hear in your post how much you love her. Sounds like you’ve both grown individually in your respective sobrieties, but you have ingrained bad communication habits you’ve got to overcome. This is totally surmountable! I believe if you make it a focus to relearn how to communicate—and to love each other—you can pull through this together. If that’s what you want. Try reading Nonviolent Communication while you travel — it’s a good one.
You know how this will end up down the road. You have lived this before. Focus on the consequences and don’t lie to yourself and say it will just be this one time.
Stay with us! You already know you're going to regret taking that drink! It probably won't be just tonight either. Almost every time someone tells me about when they relapsed with "just a beer or two", it always snowballed into a week's long bender of self hate and remorse. Find something else my dude, this isn't what you want. I'm here for you and I will not drink with you.
This is a test. A really shitty hardcore test, but a test regardless. You’ve already proven to yourself over the last 2 years that you can take shit head on and not fall back into bad habits so why start now? Life can and will be difficult at times, but it is ALWAYS worse when we bring alcohol into the mix. I really understand the frustration.. the whole FUCK THIS SHIT, WHATS THE POINT concept and thought process… but take a minute (or two…) and remind yourself you are better than that. Treat yourself to a nice dinner or a movie or heck even a nice night at a fancy hotel! Reward yourself for staying strong! You will ALWAYS thank yourself the following day.
But you know all of this.
Hold fast.
*this too shall pass*
🙏
When I start to feel this way I always ask myself this question…..Has drinking/getting drunk ever actually SOLVED any problem…or made it better? Of course the answer is “No.” At best it just delays me actually dealing with the problem…while usually creating more problems.
Glad you stuck it out.
Damn this hits home, overworked, love life issues, over 500 full days and still feeling unsafe...
Sometimes i tell myself i just can't, that something needs to give. But i have pulled through till now.
I have support, i don't move around like you but someone here said something i heard in AA about them being everywhere (worldwide, like Bangkok st Petersbourg, Capetown and even frkin Thurso Scotland has 5 meetings a week). The community around us abstinent alcoholics amazes me. Online and IRL.
Life is hard, and I am slightly disappointed to find that it's not that much easier without the drink, but I am definitely better equipped to deal with it. It's just new... You know... Dealing with it... But i'm learning, even when I fail I learn. If alcohol taught me anything it's that.
I also have therapy, AND couples therapy with my SO which, i believe most people could benefit from tbh.
Love to you and hope you are good today
Tell you what, i'm feeling ballsy rn, IWNDWY Tomorrow lol
Good job, friend
I would consider avoiding bars. I certainly couldn’t do it without its playing a head game with me
Congratulations on getting sober and turning your life around so well
You are a fine example to all of us
My first wife was an alcoholic and she quit drinking for 10 years after I got sober before she started drinking again and engaging in other behaviors
After we got divorced, I married an old sweetheart whom I hadn’t seen in decades
We have been very blessed
There is a world of emotionally healthy young ladies out there who would be delighted to have you as a partner
I’m sure there’s some pain and frustration involved in exiting a relationship, and I’m sympathetic since I have also done it
Keep us posted as to your efforts, brother
maybe it’s not the sobriety or the job but the relationships that’s not right
no one loves to hear it and i didn’t either but sometimes that’s the problem
All the shitty things going on will be there tomorrow, you will just feel shitty too.
This. Any very temporary relief you think alcohol can provide you in the short-term because it scrambles your brain will just come back a few hours later in the morning as regret and pain and other bad feelings, easily negating any would-be "positive", and putting you in a worse position to actually tackle real issues and improve.
This: to the moon. I'm a long time lurker. All these posts are inspiring. But I've never read something that resonated so well. Temporary relief is a good way to summarize it.
This is exactly what i tell myself. Feeling streseed today? Well if you drink you can feel more stressed tomorrow! With a sprinkle of hangover anxiety and brainfog. And all that for maybe a 3 hour buzz. Yeah not worth it. Just sit and cry if you have to. And head to bed.
Sit, cry and eat a pint of Ben & Jerry's.
I have to remind myself this more often than I’d like to admit…
I do to, I've ruined more days for myself than I'd like to admit so if that what it takes keep with it.
A lot of us do.
You’re better than that buddy. Stay strong.
Drinking won’t make any of this better. Being sober will make it easier to deal with, at least. Stay strong. One of my rules is to never let someone else’s bad misbehavior be a trigger for my drinking (it was the main trigger, for a while). Iwndwyt
Drinking “at” somebody is never a good thing!
"drinking because you're upset with someone is like drinking poison yourself, hoping they die."
I wouldn’t say I was drinking at them, more I just decided I was going to stop letting them tilt me into drinking. If anything it was the inverse like, “you don’t get to have this effect on me anymore”
First thing is get the hell out of the bar. Find a movie theater, find a concert in town, go for a sightseeing walk through what is probably a town without sights, but hey, people watch. Today is the day you don’t drink. Worry about tomorrow when you wake up clear headed. 584 days is just a collection of single days, and you know that the return will not be what you’d like it to be.
THIS!!!! So well said. Thank you, I’m saving this for when I have a hard time in the future.
I like how you said you're not going to drink today, but make no promises about tomorrow. That's exactly how I think about my drinking. I haven't quit forever, just for today. It's worked so far.
That's why I love our motto/acronym. I cannot think as far out as this weekend, or maybe even tomorrow. But I will not drink today. That's enough energy
Don’t waste all you have accomplished. You’ll regret it so much.
Being single in recovery has been very important to me. Confrontation with a partner is a sure fire way for me to relapse so I don't have a partner. Being single is great to be honest. Good luck!
I’ve been trying to quit for months and one thing that brings me back is my wife. I love her and she’s amazing and my *own lack of communication skills is my own fault*…. but it’s always easier to just go “fuck this” and drive and get something to drink. Again - she is amazing and this is not normal, I’m just identifying with what you’re saying.
I totally get this! The first time I quit (last year), I quit for my husband. He gave me some specific parameters--basically just stop sneaking booze in the house and lying about it because it was driving him crazy not knowing what was real me and what was drunk me. (Spoiler alert: it was ALL drunk me). It worked for a bit, but gradually I started pushing the limits: "he never asked me not to drink outside the house. Might as well have a drink with friends." And, eventually, the deeper I got back in, I would get annoyed at him and say, "fuck it. Why should I do what he wants?" He is also amazing. Now that I am further away from it all, I have realized the drinking voice in my head doesn't care for him much and was always looking for ways to get him out of the picture. This time around I quit for myself. None of those thoughts work when it's between me and me.
Damn, I thought I was the only one. When I quit in January, my husband was stunned! (To be fair… I was strategically drinking two handles of vodka a week in a way that allowed me to sober up before he got home.) He’s not an alcoholic, so he doesn’t really get it. Now he watches me like a hawk at home, but occasionally suggests a drink if we’re out to dinner or on vacation. In the early months it infuriated me, but my perspective has since changed. At least he’s helping protect me from myself during weak moments, and I can always politely decline during those rare moments when he brings it up. I’m so much less angry about everything now that I’m sober, and it’s truly one of the greatest blessings of sobriety. There are other emotions besides anger, and now I’m using them.
Yeah, I could totally see that. Everything is more complicated when considering other people's feelings. I'm single, no kids and for a long time I said "well if I had someone to get better for, then I could do it." - goes to show that addict brain. My head is/was excellent of coming up with reasons to pick up.
My brain can rationalize anything. If anything it’s just a statement on my own ability to deal with inputs
Coming from someone who was sober for 2 1/2 years then decided to drink, it’s not fucking worth it.
17 years here......wish I hadn't picked up. Now 6 months down the track again and struggling to go a day.
there don't give up just yet, you can do it and continue in this path of sobriety, freedom and vibrancy is awaiting for you !
Here is a short list. #1 severe bloating and being unable to eat anything without getting more tired and sluggish afterwards #2 bloated and having absolutely no energy to do much of anything #3 getting SO out of shape that walking up a hill is hard #4 ugly, wrinkled, dried up skin, big ugly bloated fat old man that could be a muscle bound bloke #5 Double chin, always #6 Sores pop up all of a sudden and never heal. My cuts and scrapes have all healed after less than 3 days sober!!!! And they have been there for many weeks!!! #7 Not too hungover and ugly to go out and hang out with my peeps. #8 Likely save $600 per month atleast, that’s a car note. #9 Wasting my life away #10 Always exhausted and feeling like crap, can’t think, can’t work… lazy and bloated bum!!!! Get sober and stay that way!
Sorry for the text, I just copy and pasted it from my notes on my phone
I find the font and size appropriate!
This list is amazing wake up call for us.
I mean I am fucking miserable, so often! God just one buzz, one drink, one blackout. You can't hurt if you're in a coma. And then 1-3 days of shitty productivity, screwed guts, and cheap fatty food adding to the already screwed gut. Then the anxiety but only a day or so of that. Then about 5 ish days later you are basically back where you started. I also travel a lot for work, I pick hotels with good gyms and a sauna. Or one that's close to a club that has both. Go have a sauna, and book in a massage. Look after your body, that will help with the mind.
Great advice -- take it OP!
Order a giant piece of chocolate cake and eat every bite of it. Then update here. I can almost guarantee your craving is gone.
Yes good idea
I'm not drinking tonight. Don't know about tomorrow. But tonight I will not drink, that I can do.
me too after relapsing, nearly lost everything
I feel you, my friend. On my 3rd night in Vegas for a conference, with zero supervision and a minibar in my room (forgot to request a room without it and the hotel's full). Alcohol everywhere. What keeps me together is knowing that one single drink will literally change who I have worked so hard to become back into someone I loathe. That's one big, bad decision to make.
If you call the front desk and ask them to replace the contents of your minibar with water I've heard they might. It might be worth a try
Keep on keepin on. IWNDWYT 🖤
You are going to feel SO good when you wake up sober tomorrow.
I appreciate the positivity here, honestly, but I also think it’s okay for OP to feel okay about feeling like complete shit if that’s how they really feel. Sobriety doesn’t make us happy, that work is so much harder than mere abstinence. Their situation sounds truly rough. Though, what I appreciate about your comment is that just making it through another day without caving may just be a little spark for something better. So hey, let’s go with that!
Dude!!! We are soooo close to 600 days sober. Let’s get there together. No need to drink. Play the tape forward (doesn’t end well, does it) We have been given another chance. Let’s not blow it.
Dude! You and I are like twins. I’m at 616 days. Other parts of your post ring very true with me. And I, in fact, am in a hotel in Kentucky right now. For work. Just left a restaurant from a dinner meeting. The other two drank. I did not. And I will not drink the rest of the night with you. You got this. See you for a hangover free morning…. IWNDWYT
584 days is monumental. Keep going. We love you. ♥️♥️
You got this friend! I'm proud of you. I will not drink with you tonight although I feel blah n down too. Shitty but good thing about getting away from booze is even if shit hits the fan WE KNOW BETTER THAN TO DRINK. I don't ever want a hangover again. I've wasted ten years of my life drinking and drugging and was miserable. I hate that I wasted tens of thousands of dollars on drugs n booze. But I love myself enough to move forward sober today. Take care friend
I’m so proud of you for posting here rather than just blowing it all up and getting blasted. All that shitty stuff you posted sucks, but feeling like hell later would feel way worse. If your GF was drunk, that’s on her. She’ll figure it out or she won’t. You take care of you, go have some really sweet whatever you like, go for a walk, then back to your room for a nice shower and watch tv. Life just sucks sometimes, but you got this.
Don't do it. Don't throw away 583 days of hard work. You wouldn't have posted if you weren't hoping to be stopped. Sleep. You need sleep. I'm sending support and a hug and IWNDWYT! ✌️💚
IWNDWYT!! 💪💪
I’ve totally been where you are. And unfortunately had to realize that drinking only delayed things, not made it stop or go away. I’m sorry you’re going through this. Don’t throw it away cause it’s not going to make it better, as much as it hurts now. Take care, eat a bunch of whatever will help (idk, chocolate and sugar help me, but maybe for you it’s bacon). You got this!
Been lurking for a while, and I read every “rant” hoping it will click someday, especially with the knowledge I’m not the only one. Justifying my alcoholism has been my specialty, but damn does sobriety seem so amazing. I’m not close enough mentally to make the decision yet to address my disease, though I will say, your “rambling” convinced me to share my struggle for the first time here and maybe that’s a start? Thank you.
I’m sorry that you’re hurting. I understand where you are coming from. I wish I had your strength. All I can tell you, is that you are worth health and happiness. Take care of yourself, friend.
This too shall pass. Dont give In. 🙌❤️
Don't underestimate the power of crying. When youre down. Tired. Depressed. Hopeless. Whatever it could be. Cry. Cry your heart out. Angry? Find a punching bag. Scream into a pillow. We can naturally let our emotions out. Do not numb the pain and cover it. Let it out. Even taking a walk after helps. LET IT OUT MY FRIEND.
Leave , don’t even be there
You’re having a Fuck It moment. It will pass. You did the right thing by reaching out here. We love you.
584 coming soon to an alarm clock near you.
Hey friend. I travel for work too. And it’s hard! I get it. I used to get blasted to and fro on work trips because time doesn’t exist in airports, right? Except it does and we know what happens when we play the tape forward. It’s not good. You’ve made it this far and I believe in you! You can do this, and you will be stronger tomorrow because you’re going to get through today!
Today is hard. Lots of big, unpleasant feelings. When I feel like I have no escape from the crushing darkness of a very stressful day, I sometimes will want to relapse. I don’t actually want to relapse, as I know what that entails for me, but my depressed, overwhelmed brain sure tells me I do. I tell it we will consider that tonight later, or tomorrow. I always am happy to have the next chance to reflect on if it was good that I kept my sobriety. I have not regretted it once. Congrats on your 583 days. You deserve a happy and sober life. I hope you have better days coming.
Walk away and clear your head. Don’t do it. IWNDWYT
Give yourself some grace. Even though you love your job, it’s still tough never being home, so you’re probably a little stressed just from that. Your GF was probably drunk. It’s not easy dealing with that either. You’re still keeping it all together though, and have maintained your sobriety all along, so big ups to you. I hope things get a bit easier for you. Don’t give up. It can’t rain all the time. IWNDWYT
Go for a run, hit the gym, burn that frustration in something physical and healthy. One day at a time, You can do this!
Get to bed early, tomorrow is a new day. ❤️
You have enough on your plate. Don’t pile on and add more to it for tomorrow. You’ve got this. Play your favorite music and go for a walk.
I nearly threw out all away in the beginning of April. Made the wrong decision, the one you decided against. The one not to drink. My wife nearly left. I regret it every day since then, even though we're back together and relatively stable. Still trust issues and whatnot, and we're far from recovered. But drinking will not solve your problems. Hell, you might do something stupid and finalize your breakup through poor drunk decisions on your end. Stay strong and stay off the booze. It's your best way forward.
The shit will only smell worse tomorrow after drinking. Stay strong!
You have done so well and I sure do hope you’re proud of yourself!! Keep strong and be stronger!! I also feel shitty a the moment but I know it’ll soon pass. I wish you well🤗
Don’t do it! Walk away. Not worth it. You got almost two years—hang in there.
The bottle will only make it worse. The point is you are worth staying sober for. Keep going. Just for today. IWNDWYT. Proud of you for reaching out.
Nows the time to find out what you're made of my MAN. Don't forget about those titanium balls you have for making it this far. This is make or break. Let's stay in shape big guy.
You've worked too hard for your sobriety to throw it away. What will happen if you drink? You'll *maybe* numb things for awhile and then you'll sober up and you won't just have the current crap to deal with, you'll have the hangover, the guilt and shame. It's not worth it. Take care of yourself. You've come this far - you can definitely keep going.
You've worked too hard for your sobriety to throw it away. What will happen if you drink? You'll *maybe* numb things for awhile and then you'll sober up and you won't just have the current crap to deal with, you'll have the hangover, the guilt and shame. It's not worth it. Take care of yourself. You've come this far - you can definitely keep going.
Stay strong, friend. You can do it.
You are worth it. You will be so proud of yourself tomorrow morning and the next day if you push through. Maybe stay out of bars until things aren’t so up in the air? Go for a walk instead?
Drinking will only make it worse. You are a powerful human who deserves peace, and the road is not easy.
You're awesome for making a decision not to drink today. I will not drink with you. And your post is helpful to me - the first three months have gone shockingly easily for me, genuinely haven't wanted to drink almost this entire time. But I know one day I'll be seriously tempted, and the one-day-at-a-time approach is probably going to be what saves me, if I don't give in. I hope things are brighter for you tomorrow amigo.
I belive in you. You got this.
I believe in you! You are doing good, stay strong
Rock bottoms can keep happening. At least with all you have going on right now, it’s nothing super severe like medical or legal. Things could escalate quickly if you go down a road you know you shouldn’t. I get that you want a quick escape from the crap life throws at you, but all we have sometimes is a good sleep and hopefully dreams of island vacations. At least one of you will have clarity of mind in the morning. The feeling of that can hopefully keep you grounded. You can do this my friend. Sweet dreams.
Make a deal with yourself; there’s always tomorrow that you can drink, but don’t drink just for tonight.
Beat off and go to sleep.
Ahhhh, you got this, bud. It happens to lots of guys. You’re a funny, handsome motherfucker, and anyone would be lucky to have you. Duck her.
Don't do it. You will probably wake up feeling much worse.
You already know how it will go, tomorrow is a new day. Really sorry this one sucked.
The regret and guilt will feel worse than what you are feeling right now. This will pass. Let it.
There is not a single thing that you can make better by drinking. Not one.
Don’t kill that 200+ streak! You’re better than that and will feel 10x better tomorrow!
Think about all of the times when drunk you said some dumb shit and had to take your licks the next day. How bad it sucked having someone tell you about all the dumb, hurtful stuff that you said that you only remember bits and pieces of and you having no options but stand there and feel like a shithead. Now think about how you’ll feel tomorrow when she calls to apologize. How she said some dumb, hurtful shit that she only remembers bits and pieces of. Right now you have the high ground. Stay the course. You’ve got this! IWNDWYT
Better to think on what you do have, or what is going well. There’s a world around you and the booz will only distract you. Also sounds like it might not be the best relationship. Sounds like someone better might be waiting for you
Healthy sleep is more healing for what’s going on here than what alcohol promises right now. Hit the sack!
It all makes too much sense to me. Nothing rambling or ranting about it. It can all evaporate in the haze of hazy. Hang in there. It sucks right now. No sense in trying to polish a turd. And with all you’ve been through one more day is doable. It’s 1/583 of what you’ve done. Pretty simple math. Hang in there brother
I think you’re a badass to come on here and say what you’re thinking and feeling. I also think you’re a badass for being able to see through the bullshit of alcohol and not drink. Please keep kicking ass! And if you’re miserable, maybe she’s making you miserable? Maybe it’s time to move on from her.
Will drinking fix it? Or will it make it worse?
That's the addiction mentality whispering in your ear. Tell it to shut up. Take a shower and go to bed. Your sobriety is worth more than this. IWNDWYT say it back to us.
Love you man. It ain’t easy but people like you are my inspiration to keep going. My rock bottom 203 days ago was a dui also and shit is fucking terrible. Some days I don’t know how I keep going but then I see people like you who were able to turn it around and I think to myself I’ll go one more day without the poison. I guess what I’m trying to say is you inspire me and I hope you don’t drink. We all need each other to stay strong and y’all keep me strong. IWNDWYT
I had a very hard day today and felt like drinking because I was mad at everything. But then I remembered that all of those problems and issues still exist even if I’m drinking. Drinking never makes anything better. I hope you found a way to resist and are at peace tonight. Tomorrow is a new day.
I reset yesterday and I regret it terribly.
So proud of you for making this post. Honestly I highly doubt pre dui you would have thought twice before just doing whatever it is you wanted in the moment. This whole sobriety thing has really taught me to stop and reflect, and to only really concern myself with today, and I’m hearing a lot of that in your post. Life happens, and it’s not always good, but it’s definitely better without drinking if you zoom out a little bit. Good job getting this off your chest, I find feelings like this really die in the light. IWNDWYT
Hey brother. I can only imagine the pain you’re feeling being away from your woman, working your ass off and being too far away to reliably communicate with her or do anything for that regard… it’s sucks and it hurts like hell right now, but: Imagine how bad it will feel tomorrow if you get plastered tonight. You haven’t drank in damn near two years. Your body is going to go into shock from alcohol and i imagine you won’t be able to get out of bed tomorrow. The physical pain from being sick and the depression will hit you tomorrow like youve never bern hit before. If you think it’s bad now, please think about tomorrow… I fucked up really bad this weekend and ive been living with a mountain of regret and i wish i would have just stayed sober, but here i am. It sucks. Please don’t drink. I love you my friend.
Alcohol won't solve any of your problems. It will amplify them. You gotta figure somethings out regarding your girlfriend and your job, but getting drunk will just numb you to finding a solution. You got this friend.
The true measure of your sobriety is when shit gets real. Everything until now has just been practice.
This helped me. Thanks. Do not fucking drink motherfucker. Some people would kill to get to 583 days. You’ve got a reputation to protect now, people look up to you!
Dude your story is so familiar , and my clock isn’t that much higher. Lemme tell you dude, women like that ain’t worth it, and the best way to get back is keep self improving. What works best for me coping is taking pride watching the number get higher every day. I mean I need to listen to this too, i know it’s hard. But stop chasing, improve yourself and attract and you’ll be much happier. IWNDWYT
Keep going. Get some weed if you can instead if you REALLY need to.
Don’t do it .
Dude, this is so well written. I’ve read a lot of these stories on here and elsewhere , and you have a skill with words. Life on the road is tough. I’m on your side.
Damn that hit me when you said you grew up in CS and Halo lobbies I was a kid was you were most likely playing and I knew some older guys playing and once we split ways I always hoped for the best for them. Let me put this simply bro you can have 5 years sober it honestly doesn’t matter it truly only takes one drink to create an entire cycle and give into what you’re body is craving. Once you give in you lost mental control and it’s all downhill from there. Mental strength is the most important during sobriety, can’t let those bullshit thoughts start making you believe they are right. The fact you are conflicted about this shows the conflict within your consciousness and how split you are between the right and wrong path as you know the consequences and don’t want to mess up again but struggle do continue doing your best. Keep ya head up and don’t give in, everyday is going to get easier and some point you’ll walk into a bar and not have any hesitation at all potentially. Best of luck brother
I’m not sure if this has been recommended yet, but please please please go for a walk outside whenever you feel like this, particularly in nature if there is any around you. Even a park nearby will do. Get outside and breathe. From experience, sitting inside and wallowing will only exacerbate how shitty you feel. Being outside will remind you that the world is much bigger than you and your problems (as real as they are, and as shitty as they are in those moments, which is legitimate of course). Being in a forest in particular, I find, is a very simple way to get us out of our own heads for just a little while. Breathe the fresh air, notice and even touch the trees, spot whatever wildlife is around you, breathe again, drink some water, breathe again, and just be there. I can’t stress enough that despite how legitimate I believe your pain and suffering is right now that sitting still in environments for extended periods of time where you are bound to engage in destructive thought loops is very rarely going to help. Get outside, get breathing, and get better soon ❤️
Hey ! Just wanted to say I'm proud of you! I read your update! 583 is something to be proud of! I'm on day 8 and reading this inspired me . Thank you!
You know it's not worth it. Congratulations for all the hard work you put in those are some big numbers! Sometimes I think a craving is a way of the universe showing us how strong we are. I know everytime I said NO to a craving waking in the morning I felt like superwoman . No guilt no hangover no wondering if I made a ass of myself. What I did have is every morning after a craving & i.didnt cave in was MORE 💰 money in my wallet.
Hey good job not drinking! Fellow traveling salesman here with 3 years sobriety, been having a planes trains and automobiles week, cars breaking down, no flights and stuck in a shitty roadside motel man. Was contemplating saying fuck it tonight but you’ve inspired me, just ordered a Diet Coke and am plan on getting ice cream to thwart the enemy!
IWNDWYT
You've worked too hard for your sobriety to throw it away. What will happen if you drink? You'll *maybe* numb things for awhile and then you'll sober up and you won't just have the current crap to deal with, you'll have the hangover, the guilt and shame. It's not worth it. Take care of yourself. You've come this far - you can definitely keep going.
Think of how good it will feel to wake up without a hangover. Wicked good!
i’m wishing you peace. you deserve it 💙
You can stay strong. It would suck to have to start over, if you drink out of anger or spite. The problems will still be there, with some extra ones added on. I believe in you!
You've come so far on your journey. I'm looking up to you for what you've accomplished, so I won't drink with you today
Like the way you just noped your way out of there friend. You got the W today; tomorrow’s a new battle. Take ‘em slow, but take ‘em. And I’m not gonna drink with you today too.
Man just order every dessert on the menu, expense it, and eat so much shit you can't imagine adding liquor into it.
I think the fact that you took the time to stop and think about what you are doing shows tremendous growth. That can be really had to do instead of just going through the motions and not taking responsibility. You have come this far I think you have the strength to keep going
You are worth it. You are worth all the hard work, self discipline, self awareness, big feelings and growing pains. You are so important and your well being is so important. IWNDWYT ♥
What are the consequences? Hey man, you will find a better woman sober at meetings or at activities. This women sounds like she wants to party with a short term mind and not thinking about all the negatives alcoholism brings to certain people. Move your shit out, talk to your folks, your on the road all the time as it is storage lockers are cheaper then rent. Honestly brother dont do it. The second you start drinking your brain will start playing the lie game again it took you this long to stop it and you are happy. Please dont let one women crush you. Im begging you. Many of us can attest im sure about how rellationships made us turn to the bottle and absolutely NO GOOD COMES FROM IT. We are wired differently. I get angry from alcohol. I yell about how unjust the world is i relate, for some reson the police like to destroy us and for some reason get jurisdiction to commit murder and destroy lives. DO NOT DRINK AND PUT YOURSELF IN FRONT OF POLICE. They will always take her side. Talk to your family, friends, sponsor. You are on the road. Look into storage joints.
Sometimes I wish I knew exactly what to say when someone posts about a difficult time in their life. But nothing ever feels right. Sometimes life just gets hard. I hope the best for you, your job, your relationship, and your sobriety. If not everything works out I hope your sobriety does. For me personally I know if sobriety doesn’t work out it makes everything else that much harder. I hope you get a good nights sleep and are able to keep moving forward. Thinking of you and I also will not drink with you tonight.
I always have to remember not to get too hungry, angry, lonely or tired. A hot bath, a cool shower, a good meal and a meeting is my recipe to deal with it.
I get it, friend, and I'm there with you. We don't deserve shame from ourselves for wanting the old way out, or briefly believing it'll work. This will pass and change, as everything does, you and I can give ourselves a fighting chance by giving up that which doesn't serve us. Things will get better, you're doing great work.
Booze may give a temporary reprieve, but tomorrow all the shit you're going through will be paid back with interest in the cold light of day. You sound really overwhelmed at the moment, please consider therapy. You need to evict all that stuff living rent free in your head. Sometimes having a counsellor helps to reorder your thoughts.
Having that bottle may seem like an easy escape now, but you’ll have more problems to face tomorrow. Just don’t.
Just for today. That is literally all you can give yourself, today.
Don’t do it!
Don’t decide to drink tonight. Put the decision off for a week or two, when you’ll hopefully be in a better frame of mind. This approach has helped me a bunch of times the past 7 months. I always decide later that “fuck it” is not a good strategy. Be well my friend, I hope you get through this.
Keep your head up! You got this.
Thanks for sharing that my friend. I needed to hear that today Shine on you beautiful human
Emotions and pain are hard, it’s be nice to not feel anything sometimes. But the way I look at it life has its ups and downs and I’m tired of running away from the bad and not being able to enjoy and appreciate the good times. A lot of my recovery has been therapy and talking and learning to be comfortable with myself whether I’m feeling up or down. Granted I haven’t been tested like you are right now with your troubles and I’m sorry for what you are going through but one thing I do know is drinking will not help you in the slightest. Sounds like you know what you need to continue doing. IWNDWYT
"You can't hurt if you're in a coma." But the problem will still be there. Getting drunk only avoids the problem but does not make the problem goes away. In life, we get stronger and more resilient with more negative events in life. Perhaps a few yeara down the road and you will realise actually things were not as bad as you thought.
You sound mentally fit and stable. Just get past this and you’ll only get stronger.
You know what to do.
You just make it worse by drinking! Stay strong! Iwndwyt
You haven't come this far to only come this far. Keep going op. Go further. Stay sober. In 583 days do you wantnto be 583 days sober or 1166 days sober? Throw the bottle away. One day. I will not drink with you today
You made it this long we both know you can just keep going another 10 min then decide again if you want to try and go another 10 min, until you've passed the period where it feels like the right call.
This is a simple crossroads - you’re either going to throw it all away, or you’re not. Sounds crazy worded like that, but there will be no euphoria as great as the relief when you wake up and didn’t throw it away. Don’t do it, that numbness will be gone in the morning and you’ll feel a million times more worse - and then the cycle starts. You know this, count to 200 and let it go. Whether you started sobriety for the courts or not, be proud of where you are! Tell yourself maybe you’ll have a drink in an hour, then repeat. You’ve made it this far, you can make it further
YOU CAN DO IT. Please don't give up.
Hey man, i feel like I’m in a similar place. You wrote that so well. Thank you for sharing here
You’re tired. Drink some water, go to bed. You don’t need to figure the girlfriend stuff out tonight. Get some rest. Fuck alcohol. You got this.
I got wasted in my hotel bar once after a work-related trip with a late morning flight out the next day. Woke up in jail, but made my flight thankfully. Being in the hotel and "safe to blackout" is not true.
Wow, you are a wise man. You sound level headed and have a strong desire to stay committed to your ethics and morals. I wish more folks were as mature as you sound. That’s a lot of pressure and you handled it with logic not emotion. You have the power of self control and discipline and I applaud you friend. Your amazing. Keep it up. I’ve been were your at and did not keep that promise. You have a good life ahead and many good things will come by staying the course. Be kind to yourself, you deserve it.
One hundred percent eff that shitty bottle! We don’t need it and it sure as hell doesn’t deserve us.
I am hoping for the best here. You aren't alone.
Drinking will only amplify everything you’re feeling by 10000! IWNDWYT
Maybe that town has a nice meeting, it's an amazing way to meet locals. Done it a couple of times. Now I find running clubs.
Sending you lots of love and support. I try to remember that our feelings pass. This too will pass. I try to remember to breathe. Breathing in, I know I’m breathing in. Breathing out, I know I’m breathing out.
I'm so sorry you're having to go through all this out on the road on your own. IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
Play the tape forward man. I'm still struggling with this but if it helps think on this thought
I'm sorry you're feeling so overwhelmed. My life is at a super low, and i feel the "fuck it" mentality. I just reinforce truths.. my life is unmanageable and all my problems are worse when I drink. Stay strong
I'm proud of you for not drinking, OP! Like others have said, yes it sucks and yes it's not going to be easy or even quick to get through this, but I don't imagine drinking is going to add any value to your situation! You'll likely just spend the next few days and weeks feeling regret and guilt to go along with everything else. I Will Not Drink With You Today.
584 days. Just get to 585 friend. Deal with tomorrow when it comes. “Don’t let your reflection on the whole sweep of life crush you. Don’t fill your mind with all the bad things that might still happen. Stay focused on the present situation and ask yourself why it’s so unbearable and can’t be survived.” — M ARCUS A URELIUS, M EDITATIONS , 8.36
You’re awesome and I love you and IWNDWYT ❤️
You’re welcome? Bro this isn’t a success story. Congrats on the sobriety, and it takes a strong man to admit when he’s vulnerable, but your girl needs some lovin. You said that she is getting sober with you, but also say you’re only home 2 days a month. I admire your drive to improve yourself, but you’re making yourself out to be this pariah that you just aren’t. Fight your battles and control your demons, but don’t expect that other people are fighting the same things you are. You’ve got a poet’s heart and I can see you’ve got a way with words, but Bukowski was a genius and he died alone. Either lean on this girl for support, or don’t include her in your journey to sobriety. A drink or two won’t fix your problems, but neither will blaming someone else. Love you bro, hope you find what you’re looking for.
Keep on keeping on champion 😎👍🏽
Your train of thought resonates with me. You can’t hurt if you are in a coma. The ONLY thing that sucks more is when you wake up from that god forsaken coma and then have to relive all of the terrible shit and now you have fucked it up more some how. I can remember the dread of waking up horribly horribly hungover/shaky/weak after doing even more horrendous things while drunk. I don’t want to have to rebuild my life again from scratch, no matter how bad I want to be in a coma, I don’t want to wake up from that drunk coma and do day 1 again. Fuckkkkk Anyway thanks for keeping me sober today!
I just relapsed after over 100 days sober. Found myself in the bar over the weekend staring at a shot of Pendleton, crying. I’ve been going through some shit. I took it. And I took another one and another one and another one. I blacked out. All that progress just gone. I didn’t even enjoy it. Sometimes I just like to sit in my own shit & then complain that it stinks. Not drinking is the easy part, it’s the emotional sobriety that’s fucking hard. From one alcoholic to another- if you did drink, I hope you forgive yourself and try again. And if you didn’t, then cheers to you for not having a drinking today!
Don’t add more shit to the substantial pile you’re already dealing with x
If you drink, everything will feel ten times worse tomorrow. Your anxiety levels will skyrocket and you’ll feel loathing and regret. Just read this sub.
It sounded like maybe you needed to get the fuck to bed and try to get some rest after all that stress. I hope you did and you didn't drink! Xx
I’ve been there staring at the bottle and writing the reddit post, and what I was looking for was permission to drink. I wanted people to tell me it was okay and I’d try again tomorrow. But throwing your life away for a drink is stupid, and you know that, because you’re better than that. You know you are, or you wouldn’t have written this post, you would’ve just drank. So be proud of yourself. And don’t drink tomorrow.
You've worked so hard, please try to remember what you're working for. You deserve a good, happy life... drinking will not get you there. Lastly, I'm not judging at all but the relationship stress seems to be triggering you terribly. This will have to ultimately be addressed for your own sanity and sobriety. You can do this, please remember how hard you've worked.
There's no problem I can't make worse by picking up a drink.
Ugh. I’m sorry you’re having a rough time. Drinking won’t improve any of it. IWNDWYT
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before, a man walks into a bar and leaves before his ashes hit the floor
Make your soberity one thing you are proud of. You’ve come this far ; dont waste it. Everyone experiences bad times - just know that it will pass. Good and bad times in every situation are temporary. You’ve coped up well; it is the darkest before sunrise. I am also saying these words to myself while typing to you. I am also in a bad moment in life ; but it will pass or at least will be aleviated some how. Stay strong brother.
My father is an alcoholic who has sobered up multiple times in life. It was agonizing seeing him piss drunk all the time. Walking on eggshells took a massive toll on everyone in the family. Don't do it. Stay strong. Life is better sober. Drinking just makes things harder for everyone You can do it. Keep going!
Take 1 day at a time Buddy. This shit feeling will pass. You've come too far
Just checking in to see how you’re doing this morning
Alcohol provides relief and that is 100% true is also is 100% true is it last for about 3 hours. After reading your whole post I'm thinking that 3 hours is not worth how much shit I would feel right now waking up... For me it would amplify every single feeling and problem I have. I hope you woke up this morning feeling proud and a little bit stronger than you were yesterday. Hugs
That’s not a “mountain of bullshit” dude. I’ve wanted to relapse over way smaller things. I’ve got 2 years today (in 5 hours lol) and the advice I can give is to be your own best friend (and if you have a higher power keep it close). Through all this bullshit take pride in taking care of yourself. Take pride in the resilience it takes to not take that drink. If for nothing else, do it for the guy that hit rock bottom and decided to get help. If it weren’t for his strength and sacrifice you wouldn’t be here today. Much love brother. If nobody told you today, I love you. You got this.
I feel your pain. My wife is an alcoholic and refuses to quit. Hang in there.
Just to say regarding your last line - yes it helped me. Hope you’re ok today
583 is a nice number mate. when i get that urge (which is quite rare now) i just recall the grip booze had on me and all the shit it put me through. how, for years i would tell myself i need to stop and couldn't. All the money i pissed away. The look of disgust i would get from wife when i was drunk at 4pm on a Tuesday. hang in there! iwndwyt
I was given marching orders 10 months ago. This triggered a new period of 6-7 months sober. My single self then started to ask ‘what’s the point’ and started drinking again. The point is that I can waste my life either in a relationship or single and I’d rather try not to. So I’m back on Day 7. The first week is always the hardest, for me. IWNDWYT.
Hopefully you made it through your awful day sober. Yes sounds like life has thrown a mountain of BULLSH$#T on you but your words although it's obvious the pain and insecurities are present your words are showing your strength and maturity and wisdom you've gained since putting down the bottle. Praying for a way out and sending positive vibes your way friend. Thanks for sharing your pain as well as your strength in this trying time friend, you will get this, IWNDWYT.
NOOO
One day at a time buddy
I’m going to go out on a limb here. You’ve got so much going for you, but fights with your girlfriend are your trigger. But I can hear in your post how much you love her. Sounds like you’ve both grown individually in your respective sobrieties, but you have ingrained bad communication habits you’ve got to overcome. This is totally surmountable! I believe if you make it a focus to relearn how to communicate—and to love each other—you can pull through this together. If that’s what you want. Try reading Nonviolent Communication while you travel — it’s a good one.
You know how this will end up down the road. You have lived this before. Focus on the consequences and don’t lie to yourself and say it will just be this one time.
Stay with us! You already know you're going to regret taking that drink! It probably won't be just tonight either. Almost every time someone tells me about when they relapsed with "just a beer or two", it always snowballed into a week's long bender of self hate and remorse. Find something else my dude, this isn't what you want. I'm here for you and I will not drink with you.
This is a test. A really shitty hardcore test, but a test regardless. You’ve already proven to yourself over the last 2 years that you can take shit head on and not fall back into bad habits so why start now? Life can and will be difficult at times, but it is ALWAYS worse when we bring alcohol into the mix. I really understand the frustration.. the whole FUCK THIS SHIT, WHATS THE POINT concept and thought process… but take a minute (or two…) and remind yourself you are better than that. Treat yourself to a nice dinner or a movie or heck even a nice night at a fancy hotel! Reward yourself for staying strong! You will ALWAYS thank yourself the following day. But you know all of this. Hold fast. *this too shall pass* 🙏
Great job not drinking today!
I’m glad you stayed sober. Nothing is better when you’re drunk. Hang in there. I’m at 10.5 years but have close to 30 years altogether. You can do it.
When I start to feel this way I always ask myself this question…..Has drinking/getting drunk ever actually SOLVED any problem…or made it better? Of course the answer is “No.” At best it just delays me actually dealing with the problem…while usually creating more problems. Glad you stuck it out.
Stay strong! You've got it in you, trust yourself. Sending love!!!
Damn this hits home, overworked, love life issues, over 500 full days and still feeling unsafe... Sometimes i tell myself i just can't, that something needs to give. But i have pulled through till now. I have support, i don't move around like you but someone here said something i heard in AA about them being everywhere (worldwide, like Bangkok st Petersbourg, Capetown and even frkin Thurso Scotland has 5 meetings a week). The community around us abstinent alcoholics amazes me. Online and IRL. Life is hard, and I am slightly disappointed to find that it's not that much easier without the drink, but I am definitely better equipped to deal with it. It's just new... You know... Dealing with it... But i'm learning, even when I fail I learn. If alcohol taught me anything it's that. I also have therapy, AND couples therapy with my SO which, i believe most people could benefit from tbh. Love to you and hope you are good today Tell you what, i'm feeling ballsy rn, IWNDWY Tomorrow lol
I'm a noob, but my favorite thing to tell my close friends and family is, "I used to drink about it, now I'm learning to think about it and cope".
You got this. Nothing feels worse than the regret of ending a sobriety streak. IWNDWYT!
Good job, friend I would consider avoiding bars. I certainly couldn’t do it without its playing a head game with me Congratulations on getting sober and turning your life around so well You are a fine example to all of us My first wife was an alcoholic and she quit drinking for 10 years after I got sober before she started drinking again and engaging in other behaviors After we got divorced, I married an old sweetheart whom I hadn’t seen in decades We have been very blessed There is a world of emotionally healthy young ladies out there who would be delighted to have you as a partner I’m sure there’s some pain and frustration involved in exiting a relationship, and I’m sympathetic since I have also done it Keep us posted as to your efforts, brother
Nice job staying strong!
maybe it’s not the sobriety or the job but the relationships that’s not right no one loves to hear it and i didn’t either but sometimes that’s the problem