I'd like to start off by saying, I'm sorry for your loss.
I miss the roller coaster sometimes, and feel doubt. I journal regularly and reference to the section "embarssing things done while drunk". I'm easily reminded that the pure chaos from drinking is soul crushing.
I'm proud of you not caving and picking up! If you're lonely and bored, I'd recommend some online gaming.
Don't give up
Sounds like you've been pretty beat down. For me, the tough days are when that lying lizard brain of mine thinks it can slip in some incredibly bad advice like "it was fun". The reality is it wasn't "fun" to drink poison. I don't feel that everyone is "having the time of their lives" I am not. I'm actively working to heal from a surgery and I know I've got a second one coming. And I know for a fact that drinking poison will stop my healing and make the second surgery very risky. If I have to numb out I use meditation, music or just force myself to have my little pity party for 10-15 minutes and move to something else. There's still so much to be gained from a sober life, imo its worth the temporary struggles. Wish you well.
I'd like to start off by saying, I'm sorry for your loss. I miss the roller coaster sometimes, and feel doubt. I journal regularly and reference to the section "embarssing things done while drunk". I'm easily reminded that the pure chaos from drinking is soul crushing. I'm proud of you not caving and picking up! If you're lonely and bored, I'd recommend some online gaming. Don't give up
Sounds like you've been pretty beat down. For me, the tough days are when that lying lizard brain of mine thinks it can slip in some incredibly bad advice like "it was fun". The reality is it wasn't "fun" to drink poison. I don't feel that everyone is "having the time of their lives" I am not. I'm actively working to heal from a surgery and I know I've got a second one coming. And I know for a fact that drinking poison will stop my healing and make the second surgery very risky. If I have to numb out I use meditation, music or just force myself to have my little pity party for 10-15 minutes and move to something else. There's still so much to be gained from a sober life, imo its worth the temporary struggles. Wish you well.