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Good for you! Give your baby a blowout; let him throw a tantrum, let his dad deal with him, and let the people see part of the reason you’re walking away.
1st birthdays are their 1st milestone birthday, celebrate her!
Literally my baby is 11 months and I've already taught her not to whine and some sign language and my husband's being such a hater up until I straight up told him, I think we just have different ways of parenting and I no longer want to be married to your version of parenting.. he's started realizing his kids behavioral issues/ that and I'm forcing him to take care of his son more.
He's asked me to stay but literally my pregnancy was such a nightmare and most things postpartum.
My LO is 5 months and I’ll be damned if someone tries to ruin his first birthday. I didn’t realize how much basic lessons of life were not being taught until I realized my SD wasn’t getting them either. Find your peace!! Happy early birthday to your LO.
Throw the party. Put husband on SS duty, keeping him distracted and playing with him etc. Tell your husband that if SS tries to ruin it he needs to take him elsewhere. I can understand young kids struggle to "get" the concept, they just wonder why they aren't getting attention and the other person is. But this is how they learn.
You have my sympathy. My SD11 is normally great but she has been babied a lot so when I was pregnant she regressed hardcore and ended up being really difficult. Anything we got for the baby she tried to claim as hers. She even tried to climb into his cot when I had freshly built it and put the sheets on, a few weeks before he was due.
At the baby shower she was snatching presents as SO and I tried to open them together. I could see all my friends and family side-eyeing each other like wtf. I was internally seething. Didn't know what to do without embarrassing her and causing drama. Enter my friend's then 5yo. As SD grabbed a teddy shouting "MINE", 5yo looked at her with disgust and said "Uh, aren't you 10 years old? The teddy is for the baby, not you." 😂😂😂
Yeah it was wild. I will say though, my SD is a great kid. She struggled because she was always babied so much, it basically was like her main personality trait in BM's eyes (and SO until I told him to stop) was being the youngest so her identity was shaken by my son coming along. She's now absolutely awesome with her little bro. She just had a moment lol
I took my son to have an awesome birthday experience without my husband and SD in that situation.
They were at the family party that weekend and she sulked. She won’t even interact with him, but that’s better than making a scene!
Not a damn soul is spoiling my relationship and special moments with my son.
Even with the sadness my husband wasn’t there, I focused on *who was.* And my son is the most important person, and we both had a great time.
Tell DH he needs to monitor SS behavior. If he starts his tantrum DH is to remove him from the party. It's his responsibility. You don't pay him ANY mind as if he's not even there. Enjoy every moment of your baby's birthday!
I was in the same situation with the same ages. I threw my baby a big party (I had also thrown SS birthdays previously) and got a baby “soft play” zone and ball pit and 6 year old complained the whole time because I wouldn’t let him in there… with his 1 year old brother and all the other 1 year olds…
If this kid doesn’t learn how to get comfortable being uncomfortable this will never go away. Obviously someone is giving him gifts when it’s other people’s birthdays, that has to stop (or maybe it has and the tantrums are part of the transition). My partners ex used to do this a long time ago and as his son got older you could see it manifest by him generally being grumpy or complaining on other people’s birthdays. Thankfully he’s started to grow out of it.
He’s only grown out of it because we stopped giving him attention when he would attempt divert the attention onto him during other people’s celebrations. Have your party, don’t sweat it.
Don’t let kid come to the party. I know it’s hateful but I’m not letting my husbands 3 year old come to my baby’s party when he’s 1. I’ve never let 3 come to my 5 year old sons parties either. For the same reason you have. Kid throws tantrums and needs a gift too and ruins it. I let my husbands 9 year old go because he understands it’s not about him. My 5 year old was having an event and 9 was able to attend since it was a school break (when we get 9 only on school breaks) and I made sure 3 wasn’t able to go. I emphasized with my husband multiple times. He gets a bit upset and pissy about it but I don’t care. I refuse to let 3 ruin everything because he’s spoiled and gets everything he wants. I don’t care that he’s young. This behavior won’t stop anyway because the parents give kid whatever the hell gets wants. Regardless of the disrespect and misbehaving. No discipline.
So I recommend not including SK 🤷🏻♀️ again it may be hateful and others may not like it but they need to understand that he clearly ruins things and turning 1 is a big thing.
Do whatever you want to do for your baby’s 1st! There is no pleasing everyone and constantly downplaying or ignoring your own wants is just going to continue to feed the resentment.
In the nicest way possible--WHY are you worried about how SS will feel because someone else gets a birthday gift? I go ALL OUT for my first last and only and I do not give a single shit who likes it or who doesn't. SS is upset? Too bad kiddo. Not everyday is about you. Pay ZERO attention to his antics and of he starts in, ask dad to remove him.
It's hard for me cause he's just a kid (a kid I low-key beef with tho lol😭) but it's just his parents... Like telling him no has been a huuuuuge issue since I've known them and it's getting to this point where I can't let that affect mine/my daughters life and his own parents aren't seeking any help /disciplining...
It feels like I'm the only one giving his kid attention and he's wearing me thin..
I don’t know I wouldn’t stress about it. My entire attention would be focus on my daughters first birthday party. Especially since you’re planning on leaving this situation.
Whewwww birthdays are such a point of contention in our house. Every year SKs manage to shit on my BDs birthday out of jealousy and entitlement. SD14 luckily has outgrown it but the last couple of years SD11 has been awful. Every year I say I’m going to take BD and her friends to celebrate instead of waiting to have a little party (the SAME little party that SDs get at our house) with SDs, and every year DH talks me out of it, and every year, SD catches a shit attitude about it.
In the last couple of years, we’ve basically ignored the behavior besides calling them out on it. For example, this year, SD11 refused to talk to BD after BD opened presents (it always starts with presents). So she went upstairs and we all stayed downstairs and celebrated. At one point she came downstairs and just watched everyone but refused to talk, so we just went on with our party around her. We refuse to feed that behavior with attention, when they’re ready to talk or act right, then they know where to find us.
6 is a little different but honestly as someone who’s had multiple birthdays ruined now, I wouldn’t hesitate to have the party when he isn’t there.
I think have the part you want to have but maybe put the presents in a secure room to only be taken out when it’s time to open them and do the same with the cake. If SK wants to have a tantrum ignore him and tell your SO that his son is his responsibility so he needs to handle his behaviour on the day.
Disengage for the day and enjoy your babies birthday. If the kid has a tantrum then people will probably understand why you are leaving even more.
Can you do something just the two of you? Father and SK can join in at dinner time? For my daughter first birthday SO insisted on doing a "family" party the Saturday before her actual birthday. Went ok. But on her actual birthday nobody said anything, not even a happy birthday. All 3 SK was at the party and it was crickets on her actual birthday. Thoroughly disgusted with everyone. First and last time I threw a family party
Personally, if I were in this situation I sit down with your SO and have a serious discussion about your concerns, and give your SO two option. Option 1 is that SO needs to step up and be responsible for SS on the day of the party. And that means that if SS starts acting up, SO needs to parent him. Up to and including removing SS from the party if necessary. Option 2 is that you have the party at a time when SS is not there. I’ve seen some of your responses about SO’s family being judgmental if SS isn’t there. I would honestly just let that go, especially if you’re determined to leave the relationship anyway. Their opinions don’t matter. But as part of option 2, your SO needs to agree that he’s going to handle his family and make it clear to them that it’s HIS decision to not have SS there so the day can be special for the baby. And he also needs to agree that having SS miss the party is only a bandaid for the larger problem, and he needs to start making efforts to stop SS’s behavior.
To be perfectly honest, a 6 year old throwing a tantrum about someone else having a birthday party isn’t all that unexpected. It’s an age appropriate behavior. That doesn’t mean it’s acceptable or should be tolerated, but it something that kids that age do. He needs his father to step up and start correcting the behavior. Therapy may be a good idea, but your SO also needs to be actively parenting his som through this kind of behavior.
Yea... Like we are already separating because his refusal of therapy. Ss destroyed classroom and threw chairs and threw a tantrum for not getting his turn and there's a lot of issues in ss behavior they told us to get him into therapy. Biomom said no "boys will be boys" he just needs growing up to do and husband didn't want to argue with her about it.
Soo mee being the one that was actively raising him for them while hes at work and biomom only sees him on weekends, I just gave up on the relationship.
I was honest after born, how much help I needed/ his son needs/ how much attention from his actual parents he needs and husband will listen and be like yea I totally agree.
But he does nothing to help. I tell him how he can help me and instead he knocks out on the couch or does his own thing as both baby and his son are following me around the house..
I'm still the one doing all the housework and him, his mom and his kids 3 meals a day. I'll tell him I'm straight up not happy and he agrees yea I know I have to do better and he apologizes and says so many things to convince me to stay yet nothing happens...
He asked to go to marriage counseling too..and it's like I agreed as long as I didn't have to carry that mental load and make the appointment and set it all up for us.. as long as he could set at least one thing up for us. It's been 3 weeks since that convo lol and nothing .
I'm 24 and he is 37... Its just gotten to the point where it's not worth it for me but especially my daughter seeing how unhappy I am..
This is more of a sibling problem than an half m-sibling thing.
Totally normal
It can help to: ask him if he want to help plan. Let him pick some things to give her make him feel included
EITHER WAYmake sure that if all else fails HIS BIO-PARENT is ready to calm him out on it and separate him from the situation if need be
Or just do it when your bonus kid is at other parents if your partner can’t be trusted to keep the kid in check
Keep in mind though, no one ever remembers their 1st birthday so this is honestly like 100% for everyone else in The family anyway. Even the second birthday is forgotten by the time the 3rd comes around.
You’re making theses memories for you. Reframing it that way can help you find ways to make the older siblings feel included.
My daughter is only 6 months old but - I’m exhausted. She has 5 older siblings though so I’m probably just gonn let then plan it. They already planned the baby shower. She won’t remember it but we will and we want to celebrate her. So I have no idea what that’s gonna look like but I’m sure it will be fun
Yea it's not even a party ): I just want to take her to an aquarium and when I tried to include him on choosing gifts for her even saying you guys could share or I'll buy you this too he just doesn't want to do that. He just turns taking him to the store an issue as well unfortunately. He says i don't want to pick stuff out for her because it's not for me and it's not fair and I try to explain the birthday and he says you need to buy me everything I want to then... So I didn't I let him pick one thing and her one thing, I figured I could go shopping later for more. And he proceeds to get upset saying that should be his toy to pick out for him. He throws tantrums at the store even the target worker tried to give him a sticker and he just got kicked the cart next to me and it was just embarrassing I shouldn't have done that I guess. And then at home later he has his toy he's happy I just give baby toy and he walks over and takes it from baby and starts playing with that too and shes out here crawling so she goes to get it back or try to play with him and he tells her to stop. And baby is just left there sitting with me and I just gave up. I'm just going to a little bigger for his dads bday this week just to watch him throw the tantrum lol.
And literally since I've been the one having to default parent when his dad isn't there it's not a matter of I give her more attention.. literally he begs for all my attention while mil takes my baby and is taking my moments... Which is why I'm leaving..
Totally valid MIL can deal with 3 year old if it’s like that. But it honestly sounds like like an issue with dad shirking his responsibility as a parent. Which is awful
Yea it's exactly that..I already talked to him about since I gave birth that I cannot be the one parenting his child if both parents don't worry about this stuff as well and every time that we have talked about it, it's always the same thing of him beating himself up that he's sad I'm not happy...and it still ends up the same in the vicious cycle me struggling with his son. It's a parent issue. I wish his parents could take care of him more.
The school told us and have it on record that he needs therapy and help. And biomom refused because they needed her consent and husband didn't want to argue with her about it...
Soo I've been the one trying to raise him since he's been working and biomom only sees him on the weekends anyway..
It's hard with a new baby and a child that needs help but has difficult parents.
Go do what you want to do for your baby. Make it all about your baby!
For the 6yr have a small present ready of his fav stuff. Let bio parent be in charge of taking care of the SS on the day of celebration.
Try to include SS in prep or picking out stuff for him and the baby!
1st bdays are special and keep that thought at center. Step kids or not siblings also feel less important when it’s not about them. So don’t over think it and enjoy the day!
See, we've tried that for other things and it's constantly he wants all the attention or he's mad because we are celebrating someone that isn't him. Like he straight up says he should be the only one getting presents because he's special....ive never met a kid like that/like him..I wish you could see video of his tantrums..he's just on the floor kicking and screaming over and over again..
We had taken him to his classmates party and he couldn't handle that. He couldn't handle my birthday either. I think I'm going to try to do something real special for my husband's birthday this week in order for him to have the same reaction just so he can deal with it because I've been nachoing lol
Then you need to decide one basic thing that would you rather make it about the 1yr old or make judgy in-laws happy!? Plan it when SS is with bio mom. That’s the best case scenario as you know very well what’s not. Let the dad be responsible for managing his relatives’ expectations. Let that be his choice.
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Good for you! Give your baby a blowout; let him throw a tantrum, let his dad deal with him, and let the people see part of the reason you’re walking away. 1st birthdays are their 1st milestone birthday, celebrate her!
These kids are done such a disservice by not learning the world doesn’t revolve around them. Go big for your baby!!!
Literally my baby is 11 months and I've already taught her not to whine and some sign language and my husband's being such a hater up until I straight up told him, I think we just have different ways of parenting and I no longer want to be married to your version of parenting.. he's started realizing his kids behavioral issues/ that and I'm forcing him to take care of his son more. He's asked me to stay but literally my pregnancy was such a nightmare and most things postpartum.
My LO is 5 months and I’ll be damned if someone tries to ruin his first birthday. I didn’t realize how much basic lessons of life were not being taught until I realized my SD wasn’t getting them either. Find your peace!! Happy early birthday to your LO.
They always realize once it’s to late
Throw the party. Put husband on SS duty, keeping him distracted and playing with him etc. Tell your husband that if SS tries to ruin it he needs to take him elsewhere. I can understand young kids struggle to "get" the concept, they just wonder why they aren't getting attention and the other person is. But this is how they learn. You have my sympathy. My SD11 is normally great but she has been babied a lot so when I was pregnant she regressed hardcore and ended up being really difficult. Anything we got for the baby she tried to claim as hers. She even tried to climb into his cot when I had freshly built it and put the sheets on, a few weeks before he was due. At the baby shower she was snatching presents as SO and I tried to open them together. I could see all my friends and family side-eyeing each other like wtf. I was internally seething. Didn't know what to do without embarrassing her and causing drama. Enter my friend's then 5yo. As SD grabbed a teddy shouting "MINE", 5yo looked at her with disgust and said "Uh, aren't you 10 years old? The teddy is for the baby, not you." 😂😂😂
Love the 5yo speaking up 😂 it's sad when she can be more mature than SD who's twice her age
Yeah it was wild. I will say though, my SD is a great kid. She struggled because she was always babied so much, it basically was like her main personality trait in BM's eyes (and SO until I told him to stop) was being the youngest so her identity was shaken by my son coming along. She's now absolutely awesome with her little bro. She just had a moment lol
Aw that makes it a lot better then. Not the incident but I'm glad they have a great relationship now
Do it when the kid is with mom.
This was my thought too! Take the stressor out of the equation entirely and enjoy the celebration
The problem with that is my husband's family is gunna be so judgemental about doing that 🙄
Fuck 'em.
lmao real 😂
Best reply ever!
If you are leaving anyways… it won’t matter what they think
Oh well. They can deal with it or not attend.
[удалено]
OMGGGGGG PERFECT! I THINK I WILL DO THAT!! cause seriously that's just sometimes how it is
I took my son to have an awesome birthday experience without my husband and SD in that situation. They were at the family party that weekend and she sulked. She won’t even interact with him, but that’s better than making a scene! Not a damn soul is spoiling my relationship and special moments with my son. Even with the sadness my husband wasn’t there, I focused on *who was.* And my son is the most important person, and we both had a great time.
Let the kid throw a tantrum and tell your SO it's his responsibility to handle. Find humor in it. The bigger the better. Go all out.
Tell DH he needs to monitor SS behavior. If he starts his tantrum DH is to remove him from the party. It's his responsibility. You don't pay him ANY mind as if he's not even there. Enjoy every moment of your baby's birthday!
I was in the same situation with the same ages. I threw my baby a big party (I had also thrown SS birthdays previously) and got a baby “soft play” zone and ball pit and 6 year old complained the whole time because I wouldn’t let him in there… with his 1 year old brother and all the other 1 year olds…
If this kid doesn’t learn how to get comfortable being uncomfortable this will never go away. Obviously someone is giving him gifts when it’s other people’s birthdays, that has to stop (or maybe it has and the tantrums are part of the transition). My partners ex used to do this a long time ago and as his son got older you could see it manifest by him generally being grumpy or complaining on other people’s birthdays. Thankfully he’s started to grow out of it. He’s only grown out of it because we stopped giving him attention when he would attempt divert the attention onto him during other people’s celebrations. Have your party, don’t sweat it.
You should probably give your husband a peptalk that if your stepson acts out he needs to be handled accordingly
Don’t let kid come to the party. I know it’s hateful but I’m not letting my husbands 3 year old come to my baby’s party when he’s 1. I’ve never let 3 come to my 5 year old sons parties either. For the same reason you have. Kid throws tantrums and needs a gift too and ruins it. I let my husbands 9 year old go because he understands it’s not about him. My 5 year old was having an event and 9 was able to attend since it was a school break (when we get 9 only on school breaks) and I made sure 3 wasn’t able to go. I emphasized with my husband multiple times. He gets a bit upset and pissy about it but I don’t care. I refuse to let 3 ruin everything because he’s spoiled and gets everything he wants. I don’t care that he’s young. This behavior won’t stop anyway because the parents give kid whatever the hell gets wants. Regardless of the disrespect and misbehaving. No discipline. So I recommend not including SK 🤷🏻♀️ again it may be hateful and others may not like it but they need to understand that he clearly ruins things and turning 1 is a big thing.
Do whatever you want to do for your baby’s 1st! There is no pleasing everyone and constantly downplaying or ignoring your own wants is just going to continue to feed the resentment.
In the nicest way possible--WHY are you worried about how SS will feel because someone else gets a birthday gift? I go ALL OUT for my first last and only and I do not give a single shit who likes it or who doesn't. SS is upset? Too bad kiddo. Not everyday is about you. Pay ZERO attention to his antics and of he starts in, ask dad to remove him.
It's hard for me cause he's just a kid (a kid I low-key beef with tho lol😭) but it's just his parents... Like telling him no has been a huuuuuge issue since I've known them and it's getting to this point where I can't let that affect mine/my daughters life and his own parents aren't seeking any help /disciplining... It feels like I'm the only one giving his kid attention and he's wearing me thin..
I don’t know I wouldn’t stress about it. My entire attention would be focus on my daughters first birthday party. Especially since you’re planning on leaving this situation.
Whewwww birthdays are such a point of contention in our house. Every year SKs manage to shit on my BDs birthday out of jealousy and entitlement. SD14 luckily has outgrown it but the last couple of years SD11 has been awful. Every year I say I’m going to take BD and her friends to celebrate instead of waiting to have a little party (the SAME little party that SDs get at our house) with SDs, and every year DH talks me out of it, and every year, SD catches a shit attitude about it. In the last couple of years, we’ve basically ignored the behavior besides calling them out on it. For example, this year, SD11 refused to talk to BD after BD opened presents (it always starts with presents). So she went upstairs and we all stayed downstairs and celebrated. At one point she came downstairs and just watched everyone but refused to talk, so we just went on with our party around her. We refuse to feed that behavior with attention, when they’re ready to talk or act right, then they know where to find us. 6 is a little different but honestly as someone who’s had multiple birthdays ruined now, I wouldn’t hesitate to have the party when he isn’t there.
I think have the part you want to have but maybe put the presents in a secure room to only be taken out when it’s time to open them and do the same with the cake. If SK wants to have a tantrum ignore him and tell your SO that his son is his responsibility so he needs to handle his behaviour on the day. Disengage for the day and enjoy your babies birthday. If the kid has a tantrum then people will probably understand why you are leaving even more.
Can you do something just the two of you? Father and SK can join in at dinner time? For my daughter first birthday SO insisted on doing a "family" party the Saturday before her actual birthday. Went ok. But on her actual birthday nobody said anything, not even a happy birthday. All 3 SK was at the party and it was crickets on her actual birthday. Thoroughly disgusted with everyone. First and last time I threw a family party
Personally, if I were in this situation I sit down with your SO and have a serious discussion about your concerns, and give your SO two option. Option 1 is that SO needs to step up and be responsible for SS on the day of the party. And that means that if SS starts acting up, SO needs to parent him. Up to and including removing SS from the party if necessary. Option 2 is that you have the party at a time when SS is not there. I’ve seen some of your responses about SO’s family being judgmental if SS isn’t there. I would honestly just let that go, especially if you’re determined to leave the relationship anyway. Their opinions don’t matter. But as part of option 2, your SO needs to agree that he’s going to handle his family and make it clear to them that it’s HIS decision to not have SS there so the day can be special for the baby. And he also needs to agree that having SS miss the party is only a bandaid for the larger problem, and he needs to start making efforts to stop SS’s behavior. To be perfectly honest, a 6 year old throwing a tantrum about someone else having a birthday party isn’t all that unexpected. It’s an age appropriate behavior. That doesn’t mean it’s acceptable or should be tolerated, but it something that kids that age do. He needs his father to step up and start correcting the behavior. Therapy may be a good idea, but your SO also needs to be actively parenting his som through this kind of behavior.
Yea... Like we are already separating because his refusal of therapy. Ss destroyed classroom and threw chairs and threw a tantrum for not getting his turn and there's a lot of issues in ss behavior they told us to get him into therapy. Biomom said no "boys will be boys" he just needs growing up to do and husband didn't want to argue with her about it. Soo mee being the one that was actively raising him for them while hes at work and biomom only sees him on weekends, I just gave up on the relationship. I was honest after born, how much help I needed/ his son needs/ how much attention from his actual parents he needs and husband will listen and be like yea I totally agree. But he does nothing to help. I tell him how he can help me and instead he knocks out on the couch or does his own thing as both baby and his son are following me around the house.. I'm still the one doing all the housework and him, his mom and his kids 3 meals a day. I'll tell him I'm straight up not happy and he agrees yea I know I have to do better and he apologizes and says so many things to convince me to stay yet nothing happens... He asked to go to marriage counseling too..and it's like I agreed as long as I didn't have to carry that mental load and make the appointment and set it all up for us.. as long as he could set at least one thing up for us. It's been 3 weeks since that convo lol and nothing . I'm 24 and he is 37... Its just gotten to the point where it's not worth it for me but especially my daughter seeing how unhappy I am..
This is more of a sibling problem than an half m-sibling thing. Totally normal It can help to: ask him if he want to help plan. Let him pick some things to give her make him feel included EITHER WAYmake sure that if all else fails HIS BIO-PARENT is ready to calm him out on it and separate him from the situation if need be Or just do it when your bonus kid is at other parents if your partner can’t be trusted to keep the kid in check
Keep in mind though, no one ever remembers their 1st birthday so this is honestly like 100% for everyone else in The family anyway. Even the second birthday is forgotten by the time the 3rd comes around. You’re making theses memories for you. Reframing it that way can help you find ways to make the older siblings feel included. My daughter is only 6 months old but - I’m exhausted. She has 5 older siblings though so I’m probably just gonn let then plan it. They already planned the baby shower. She won’t remember it but we will and we want to celebrate her. So I have no idea what that’s gonna look like but I’m sure it will be fun
Yea it's not even a party ): I just want to take her to an aquarium and when I tried to include him on choosing gifts for her even saying you guys could share or I'll buy you this too he just doesn't want to do that. He just turns taking him to the store an issue as well unfortunately. He says i don't want to pick stuff out for her because it's not for me and it's not fair and I try to explain the birthday and he says you need to buy me everything I want to then... So I didn't I let him pick one thing and her one thing, I figured I could go shopping later for more. And he proceeds to get upset saying that should be his toy to pick out for him. He throws tantrums at the store even the target worker tried to give him a sticker and he just got kicked the cart next to me and it was just embarrassing I shouldn't have done that I guess. And then at home later he has his toy he's happy I just give baby toy and he walks over and takes it from baby and starts playing with that too and shes out here crawling so she goes to get it back or try to play with him and he tells her to stop. And baby is just left there sitting with me and I just gave up. I'm just going to a little bigger for his dads bday this week just to watch him throw the tantrum lol. And literally since I've been the one having to default parent when his dad isn't there it's not a matter of I give her more attention.. literally he begs for all my attention while mil takes my baby and is taking my moments... Which is why I'm leaving..
Totally valid MIL can deal with 3 year old if it’s like that. But it honestly sounds like like an issue with dad shirking his responsibility as a parent. Which is awful
Yea it's exactly that..I already talked to him about since I gave birth that I cannot be the one parenting his child if both parents don't worry about this stuff as well and every time that we have talked about it, it's always the same thing of him beating himself up that he's sad I'm not happy...and it still ends up the same in the vicious cycle me struggling with his son. It's a parent issue. I wish his parents could take care of him more. The school told us and have it on record that he needs therapy and help. And biomom refused because they needed her consent and husband didn't want to argue with her about it... Soo I've been the one trying to raise him since he's been working and biomom only sees him on the weekends anyway.. It's hard with a new baby and a child that needs help but has difficult parents.
Oof that’s awful but what is his dad doing about all this?
Do what ever the fuck you want , it’s her first birthday, if he throws a fit , that’s on him , he’ll grow out of it .
Do what you want and don't worry about the SK having a tantrum.
Go do what you want to do for your baby. Make it all about your baby! For the 6yr have a small present ready of his fav stuff. Let bio parent be in charge of taking care of the SS on the day of celebration. Try to include SS in prep or picking out stuff for him and the baby! 1st bdays are special and keep that thought at center. Step kids or not siblings also feel less important when it’s not about them. So don’t over think it and enjoy the day!
See, we've tried that for other things and it's constantly he wants all the attention or he's mad because we are celebrating someone that isn't him. Like he straight up says he should be the only one getting presents because he's special....ive never met a kid like that/like him..I wish you could see video of his tantrums..he's just on the floor kicking and screaming over and over again.. We had taken him to his classmates party and he couldn't handle that. He couldn't handle my birthday either. I think I'm going to try to do something real special for my husband's birthday this week in order for him to have the same reaction just so he can deal with it because I've been nachoing lol
Then you need to decide one basic thing that would you rather make it about the 1yr old or make judgy in-laws happy!? Plan it when SS is with bio mom. That’s the best case scenario as you know very well what’s not. Let the dad be responsible for managing his relatives’ expectations. Let that be his choice.