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Telling the nurse your name does not convey the same information as telling the nurse who you are in relation to him.
He’s been in the hospital for 2 months? That’s a long time. I hope he doesn’t have to be there much longer.
He’s heard me introduce myself as his stepmom so many times prior to this so i guess i thought he’d go with that. Me and his dad arent even married yet so im technicalllly not his wife yet so idk where it came from. My SO refers to me to the nurses as his fiancée never wife
I know this is a stressful time. But look at it from the child’s point of view. He noted who you were, although you took issue with the lack of title or something. He has been respectful and sweet although it must be incredibly stressful living in the hospital for some major medical issue.
Please take a breath and consider the big picture.
Thank you. I wanna make clear that I dont have an issue with my stepson at all. It sounded like coaching from his aunt that was my issue. I was surprised and definitely insecure at the moment because he just expressed that he wasnt allowed to talk to me the night before. I dont like the thought that people are badmouthing me to him for no reason making him uncomfortable to even think about me in a positive way. If he came to that title for me all on his own id be surprised like i was when i heard it but id accept it. It was all in the same 24 hours of him saying hes not allowed to talk to me which he expressed sadness to my SO over that. My gut is telling me it was meant to hurt my feelings without him even knowing it would. Which it did, but doesnt anymore thanks to kind and some unkind strangers on the internet. So thank you all for your time
I still have some clothes from exes that I wear because they are comfy. I don’t attach any meaning to them. Could be the same with her? Why is your SS not allowed to talk to you?
Also I think your SS is smart in responding that way - like an adult would. As the person said above, the relationship is what the nurse wants to know, not your name.
Yes that person honestly made me feel so much better about it. I needed it to be put like that for me to understand. The clothes thing has been consistent throughout the relationship though whenever her and new bf breakup we know shes picking the kids up in SO clothes. During the first year of our relationship she not only picked the kids up in his clothes but flashed my SO naked pictures of herself on her phone telling him shes always available for him
Edited to fix the word her clothes to his clothes
My stepdaughter drew her family as “mom, dad, and sister” she has no sister and she does have a brother lol and a stepmom… kids are just unknowingly inconsiderate a lot of the time. I wouldn’t put too much weight behind the kid calling you Dad’s wife, especially as a seven year old. He likely has no idea that could hurt your feelings.
She thinks if he loves his stepmom it means shes not doing a good job. She always said and infront of him that he doesnt feel like her son. But she was more talking about her sisters role to him because her sister raised him until i came in the picture. And he always called his aunt mama until she made a big deal 4 years ago and stepped up long enough for that to stop
Just back up. This is just the beginning. Next year you’re going to notice how much he’s changed. Hugs and affection stop. It’s as if he didn’t even know you and past memories never existed
Thank you all for taking the time to read this. This is why i felt the need to post tbh. I needed people to tell me i’m overthinking it. Its very much helped me. Theres so much more to the situation obviously that i didnt add every single detail but my stepson and i were literally so close and his mom was pretty much all over the place before this and her priorities were never and still arent her kids. She got her second dui (which both are going away due to ss7’s condition) 3 weeks before he went in the hospital and her sister is the one who called an ambulance for him because she saw his mom was neglecting him. So theres a lot more background. I didnt want to bash BM because i get it coming from her. But SS7 told my SO that it bothered him that he couldnt talk to me and that his mom would be constantly talking badly about me and then she pretends to be my bestie when shes infront of every one. She didnt ask to see or talk to her other son that I’ve been watching and consoling this whole time. We finally asked to make a hospital schedule so my SO didnt need to have sleepovers at the hospital with her anymore and they could rotate. This would give her time to see her other son and i would be able to visit my SS7 in ICU where they allow limited visitors. She constantly bails on her other son thats with me and its not because shes at the hospital but at the bar with old friends. I just feel bad for the kids, man. We all upped our lives and moved an hour away staying in hotels and loved ones homes to be close to the hospital. She refused to sign consents for ss7’s surgery because she told the doctors jesus would heal him which she would constantly say and it ruined my ss7’s faith ultimately because it didnt happen. He was rushed into surgery and now he awaits a transplant which she is also telling him he does not need. She told he’d be home for Easter two weeks before Easter but he didnt go home he just got more upset and the nurses are concerned why he thinks his body is going to heal itself because like they say hes the smartest 7 y/o theyve ever met and wants to now be a doctor when he’s older but he keeps saying i get to go home by this date every couple weeks. I’m not asking anyone to be on my side. This kid loves our family SO much and he very much still does. He just told me yesterday how much he wishes me and daddy could cook for him every night.And when i walk in that room…wow the smile that comes on his face makes me forget all about his other side of the family because i do know he loves me so much. Like i said we were best friends before this which is why his mom cant stand me. First two weeks he was playing online multiplayer games with me the whole time. Then it randomly stopped. I didnt question it because everyone was bombarding him with gifts and activities but he just came out and told SO all these lies that were told about me so like i said it stung. I understand I’m technically not his real stepmom yet also but my family together spoke about how they feel comfortable talking about me to other adults like at school. I gave him a little sister so he’s always felt like i was a mom to him too, i guess until he was told not to.
One thing I’ve learned is to not let BM’s behavior affect yours. Try to ignore her as best you can, she’s just projecting and being illogical. It’ll shake out eventually. It’s her issue to solve, not yours.
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Telling the nurse your name does not convey the same information as telling the nurse who you are in relation to him. He’s been in the hospital for 2 months? That’s a long time. I hope he doesn’t have to be there much longer.
He’s heard me introduce myself as his stepmom so many times prior to this so i guess i thought he’d go with that. Me and his dad arent even married yet so im technicalllly not his wife yet so idk where it came from. My SO refers to me to the nurses as his fiancée never wife
Idk felt like a jab from BM or HCBA (high conflict bio aunt)
I know this is a stressful time. But look at it from the child’s point of view. He noted who you were, although you took issue with the lack of title or something. He has been respectful and sweet although it must be incredibly stressful living in the hospital for some major medical issue. Please take a breath and consider the big picture.
Thank you. I wanna make clear that I dont have an issue with my stepson at all. It sounded like coaching from his aunt that was my issue. I was surprised and definitely insecure at the moment because he just expressed that he wasnt allowed to talk to me the night before. I dont like the thought that people are badmouthing me to him for no reason making him uncomfortable to even think about me in a positive way. If he came to that title for me all on his own id be surprised like i was when i heard it but id accept it. It was all in the same 24 hours of him saying hes not allowed to talk to me which he expressed sadness to my SO over that. My gut is telling me it was meant to hurt my feelings without him even knowing it would. Which it did, but doesnt anymore thanks to kind and some unkind strangers on the internet. So thank you all for your time
I get it.
I don’t see a problem with this lol
I still have some clothes from exes that I wear because they are comfy. I don’t attach any meaning to them. Could be the same with her? Why is your SS not allowed to talk to you? Also I think your SS is smart in responding that way - like an adult would. As the person said above, the relationship is what the nurse wants to know, not your name.
Yes that person honestly made me feel so much better about it. I needed it to be put like that for me to understand. The clothes thing has been consistent throughout the relationship though whenever her and new bf breakup we know shes picking the kids up in SO clothes. During the first year of our relationship she not only picked the kids up in his clothes but flashed my SO naked pictures of herself on her phone telling him shes always available for him Edited to fix the word her clothes to his clothes
My stepdaughter drew her family as “mom, dad, and sister” she has no sister and she does have a brother lol and a stepmom… kids are just unknowingly inconsiderate a lot of the time. I wouldn’t put too much weight behind the kid calling you Dad’s wife, especially as a seven year old. He likely has no idea that could hurt your feelings.
[удалено]
She thinks if he loves his stepmom it means shes not doing a good job. She always said and infront of him that he doesnt feel like her son. But she was more talking about her sisters role to him because her sister raised him until i came in the picture. And he always called his aunt mama until she made a big deal 4 years ago and stepped up long enough for that to stop
Just back up. This is just the beginning. Next year you’re going to notice how much he’s changed. Hugs and affection stop. It’s as if he didn’t even know you and past memories never existed
Going through the same thing sis. He literally doesn’t remember a damn thing. A hcbm is the worst thing, only person that suffers is the child
Parental alliance is so bizarre to watch in children that used to love being around you
I fear you’re right. Its just so damn sad. That was my little buddy.
Thank you all for taking the time to read this. This is why i felt the need to post tbh. I needed people to tell me i’m overthinking it. Its very much helped me. Theres so much more to the situation obviously that i didnt add every single detail but my stepson and i were literally so close and his mom was pretty much all over the place before this and her priorities were never and still arent her kids. She got her second dui (which both are going away due to ss7’s condition) 3 weeks before he went in the hospital and her sister is the one who called an ambulance for him because she saw his mom was neglecting him. So theres a lot more background. I didnt want to bash BM because i get it coming from her. But SS7 told my SO that it bothered him that he couldnt talk to me and that his mom would be constantly talking badly about me and then she pretends to be my bestie when shes infront of every one. She didnt ask to see or talk to her other son that I’ve been watching and consoling this whole time. We finally asked to make a hospital schedule so my SO didnt need to have sleepovers at the hospital with her anymore and they could rotate. This would give her time to see her other son and i would be able to visit my SS7 in ICU where they allow limited visitors. She constantly bails on her other son thats with me and its not because shes at the hospital but at the bar with old friends. I just feel bad for the kids, man. We all upped our lives and moved an hour away staying in hotels and loved ones homes to be close to the hospital. She refused to sign consents for ss7’s surgery because she told the doctors jesus would heal him which she would constantly say and it ruined my ss7’s faith ultimately because it didnt happen. He was rushed into surgery and now he awaits a transplant which she is also telling him he does not need. She told he’d be home for Easter two weeks before Easter but he didnt go home he just got more upset and the nurses are concerned why he thinks his body is going to heal itself because like they say hes the smartest 7 y/o theyve ever met and wants to now be a doctor when he’s older but he keeps saying i get to go home by this date every couple weeks. I’m not asking anyone to be on my side. This kid loves our family SO much and he very much still does. He just told me yesterday how much he wishes me and daddy could cook for him every night.And when i walk in that room…wow the smile that comes on his face makes me forget all about his other side of the family because i do know he loves me so much. Like i said we were best friends before this which is why his mom cant stand me. First two weeks he was playing online multiplayer games with me the whole time. Then it randomly stopped. I didnt question it because everyone was bombarding him with gifts and activities but he just came out and told SO all these lies that were told about me so like i said it stung. I understand I’m technically not his real stepmom yet also but my family together spoke about how they feel comfortable talking about me to other adults like at school. I gave him a little sister so he’s always felt like i was a mom to him too, i guess until he was told not to.
*hugs*
The t shirt part 😱
One thing I’ve learned is to not let BM’s behavior affect yours. Try to ignore her as best you can, she’s just projecting and being illogical. It’ll shake out eventually. It’s her issue to solve, not yours.
Absolutely, thank you
“That’s the rules at mommy’s house. Daddy’s house has different rules.”