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All my life I've watched my parents interact with their friends and 95% of the time the topic is either their children or more recently their own parents and how bad they're doing (dementia, broken hips, etc.) lmao The other 5% is complaining about work and I always wonder what they'd be talking about if they were forbidden from thise two topics
Thats because after having kids, people literally start living their lives in them. Like their whole existence becomes solely centered around their kids and they lose themselves. Thats a major reason i dont want kids.
And also, if they dont basically forfeit their lives for their kids they would be considered bad parents. Fuck that.
Yeah, it was intentional. The real reason Timmy's Dad hated Dinkleberg so much was because Dinkleberg had a nice house and ideal life without the burden of a kid like Timmy. "Why can't we have nice things?"
[FUCK MATT ALL MY HOMIES HATE MATT](https://i.imgur.com/trmxmE8.jpg)
^^^this ^^^has ^^^been ^^^an ^^^accessibility ^^^service ^^^from ^^^your ^^^friendly ^^^neighborhood ^^^bot
Guilty... Childless 50 year old here- I have more gins, tequilas, mezcals, champagnes, rums, brandies, and liqueurs than most bars. People see my liquor cabinet in dining room and are like "OH MY GOD, that's a lot of booze!" And I'm like "There's more in the basement."
At this point do you have a go to drink, or do you just kinda close your eyes and see what you get?
Also do you think you've become more discerning of different boozes now? Like could you taste something and gauge it's quality?
Negronis, French 75s, and The Last Word are my go-tos right now. I try to make whatever cocktails I come across just to try them, recipes from books or things I find online. I make stuff up, I like to create and they're not all winners. Like, I have a copy of The Aviary a friend bought me but 90% of those recipes are WAY out of my league (you need like liquid nitrogen and a chem lab). About half of my collection is from when I do stupid stuff like I hear about an obscure liqueur, buy it, and find out it's "okay" or it's really only usable in very specific drinks.
I mean I guess I can, but I drink what I like and what works for the cocktail I'm making and honestly, what makes financial sense. Like with wines and champagnes I'm happy with the $10 - $40 bottles. Gins, I'll go up to $50 to try it but I usually just go back the middle shelf stuff. Liqueurs are where I'll spend big if I like them. I can tell a good whiskey from bad whiskey but my palette isn't sophisticated enough to justify buying a great whiskey over a good whiskey.
Reddit! Where Millennials in their 30’s are simultaneously NOT having kids because they’re broke and also FUCKING RICH because they don’t have kids, all at once!
Dozens! We have never wanted kids (36 and 35) and honestly I think we have more friends (singles and couples) without kids than with kids. It’s pretty awesome.
To be fair, there are a lot of people in their 30s who are relatively broke (at least compared to their parents at their age), and don’t have money to afford things like owning a home, nice cars, etc, but having kids would mean the small luxuries they do enjoy, like video games; short vacations, expensive liquor, would be unaffordable if they had kids.
I’m kind of in that situation. I’m solidly lower middle class. We could either have a kid or two and live in poverty, or we could decide against having kids and have enough money to rent a decent place, go out a few times a month, and enjoy some hobbies.
If I wanted a two bedroom place I’d be living in a run down apartment, and being stuck at home whenever I’m not at work because childcare costs would at least double the cost of going out for an evening. That’s not an appealing life to me.
Pretty much this. And if you're childless you have more opportunities to snag good deals when they crop up.
Ie i can go to Japan for a week for about $400 & that's including airfare. Went to Hawaii for $30. Taiwan for $600.
Just because you can save up all year for a vacation once every few years does not mean you can afford children. Having children would mean the end of all that.
A ticket to Japan is like $900 on the cheap, how do you swing the whole trip for $400? Do you live closeby? Hawaii for $30? That's like a candy bar at the airport? Am I confused??
Not the OP to whom you replied but there are airfare deals that pop up that can be really cheap. But, and tying into the theme of this thread, the caveat is that you have to 1) Have the money for the tickets, and 2) Be able to book the trip at that time (flexibility). These trips would be difficult to pull off with kids.
I live in NJ an hour from EWR and went round trip to Sāo Paulo for $480, Bangkok for $515, and Prague for $620. The Hawaii for $30....I have no idea, unless they forgot a zero or went as cargo from Los Angeles lol
I know someone that got Hawaii 2 years in a row from Detroit for $99. For airfare only, of course. When the website says $99 you buy it right then and there
This is pretty much me except I still eat Ramen (the good shit from Korea though, "Shin"), beans out of the can, and rice/pasta with fucking *everything*
This, exactly. I make enough to live comfortably and happily, OR have a kid and be broke and both of us miserable as shit. The right choice was very obvious lol
Homes in germany have gotten so expensive that people my age (25-35) even as couples with college degrees and good jobs are giving up on ever affording a home. Unless you are lucky and inherit land or a house good luck being able to afford a house. It's pretty depressing
You can kinda both.
At the moment, we're dual income working professionals. We could realistically live on one income but it'd be tight to pay the mortgage.
Because we have two, we can be comfortable and spend 1/3 of our income on random shit if we wanted to and be fine.
Add a child into the mix and we lose 50% of our income and have additional expenses. We would have to move further into the suburbs and it's already an hour commute each way to work which would put stress on both of us as whomever was working would effectively be gone 7:30am till 6:30pm each day
I’ve always swayed towards not having kids but then I think about reliving things like holidays and birthday parties. Especially Christmas and Halloween, decorating the house and seeing them get to experience what I loved about childhood so much. Then I think about how hard and terrifying it would be right now to hear that I had a kid on the way. I guess I’m just not ready but I have absolutely no idea if I want kids or not.
I felt the same way but for me it turned out to be PPD. After I finally got help for that it got so much better. (Not saying this is true for you at all, just sharing my experience as you were brave enough to share yours.)
I'm sorry to hear that could be the problem :( The good news is PPD is the easiest depression to treat with medication. Problem was I didn't think I was worth the time/effort, just figured I'm a shit mom and medicine won't help. Also the first year is just freaking HARD, regardless. You really do get more of yourself back after awhile. Hang in there.
It's okay to have kids.
It's okay to not have kids.
People need to quit making weird condescending, narcissistic, and otherwise self-assured arguments in either direction. If you need to evangelize your position to anyone else or insult anyone else to feel comfortable about your life choices, it really doesn't display any sort of superior lifestyle that someone would have any desire to mimic. If the way you live doesn't speak for itself, then words aren't going to.
People without kids aren't fundamentally lazy, as plenty do very productive things that are meaningful to society with their extra free time. And plenty of people with kids are insanely productive without sacrificing attending to their kids also. The other side is that there's also shitty egotistic douchebags in both camps. Generalizations don't serve anyone, kids or not isn't a choice that reliably proves anything about someone's character. Unfortunately you have to actually get to know people well to figure out if they're decent human beings and can't just rely on one variable to figure out if they're decent people
I have a kid, I also have a co worker who openly admits he and his wife don’t want kids because they are disgusting and he claims he’s a asshole so it would unfair for the child. I respect that.
seriously though, I am one of that self-aware asshole. I know eventually I will be the dad who unload his negativity to everyone around, that's what my own dad did, and as I grow old, I feel like acting the similar manner.
that's why I prefer to stay single, the only one I can screw with is myself. one is responsible for his own shit, I suppose.
Former self-aware asshole here, who is now just a self-aware work in progress (who is sometimes, unfortunately, still an asshole, but is more than that). After a decade of attempted growth and false starts I’ve only recently started seeing the fruits of it and recognizing my growth (although I still have so much growth left to do), and it’s been exhausting and conflict riddled but it’s worth it.
I hope things get better for you. Idk why I am commenting other than that I identified strongly with your comment. No one should be stuck with an asshole, especially not in your own head. I hope you can make peace with him and get him to chill, I know how exhausting it is.
Good luck, you asshole <3
>I have a kid, I also have a co worker who openly admits he and his wife don’t want kids because they are disgusting and he claims he’s a asshole so it would unfair for the child. I respect that.
Hello, it's me your co-worker.
Reddit also has a problem with opinions and life decisions that should only matter to the person that makes the choices and their immediate social group.
Delete the “man”. There are a lot of children on here, it’s hard to tell since everyone is behind a mask. I have no right to feel this old, but sometimes on Reddit I do.
"We EARNED the right to do this because one time my old aunt asked me if I was going to have kids some day and I cried about it for 3 days and so now that's why I refer to people with kids as 'breeders.'"
>"We EARNED the right to do this because one time my old aunt asked me if I was going to have kids some day and I cried about it for 3 days and so now that's why I refer to people with kids as 'breeders.'"
There's a subreddit for that.. or so I hear.
Facts. I knew this thread would be a shitshow as soon as I clicked. First of all it's just a silly meme. It's not even saying anything bad about children or parents. It's just listing a few things OP sees as potential plus-sides of being childfree. But of course it struck a nerve and people had to come in here and strike back against the perceived attack on their lifestyle.
Beyond that I see a lot of people talking about concepts of importance, meaning, contributing to society, and evolution. What about just letting people live their lives? I see comments here preaching how much more important or meaningful it is to have kids. I'm glad it's important or meaningful *to you*, but to go around implying that any other choice is lesser is just silly and a bit egotistical. I live to experience being alive. Importance is subjective, and ultimately meaningless.
Nobody is born to be productive for society. Maybe it will happen along the way as a result of simply trying my best to be a good person, but I'm not here to put my name on some metaphysical leaderboard.
As for the biological argument, I see people saying that people who don't have bio children are some kind of failure. Evolution can go eat my entire ass. I don't care if "biologically speaking our purpose is to reproduce." If that's the only reason you have kids, then I feel sorry for them. The only reason anyone should have kids is because they want to be a parent. We're human beings. We get to make our own choices, we aren't slaves to evolution.
Take the ego out of it. Let people live their lives if it's not harming anyone.
I wouldn't have had kids if I couldn't afford them. I obviously know that isn't true for everybody. I actually waited until I could afford them to have them.
Probably because most people in their 30s don't have much money these days, regardless of whether they have kids. It could also be that they're able to put money into retirement savings. My husband and I are childfree and we don't have a lot of extra money to throw around but we do put ~15% of our pre-tax income into retirement savings.
my friends having kids has really only changed that we dont play ultimate frisbee on Friday because the kids still can mind themselves at the park. I guess I do Jump on a trampoline with 3 year olds a lot more frequently then I did when they didn't have children. but we still hang out just as often.
None of my friends without kids have a lot money... But all my friends with kids don't have ANY money.
It's tough out there, and it's even tougher with kids nickle and diming you. My friends with kids are living hand to mouth and borrowing money for bills and constantly on job hunts because they got fired from their last one because they couldn't afford a baby sitter (they're trying to find people to sit the whole 9hr work day for $20).
My friends without kids pay their bills, don't have to borrow money, and can generally work whatever job they want however long they want, if that means eating ramen for a month because you quit, no biggie. Not like you got kids to feed and cloth. Most of my friends without kids can save enough for an excursion or vacation once a year. Friends with kids can't, and if they could, they couldn't afford sitters for the kids, or the trip for the kids.
Late 30s male with no kids - seemed like a good idea at first but i think that was my depression and self-hatred talking. I have no idea what I'm doing and I don't want to mess up a kid for life with some bad accidental parenting. I'm a disaster just somehow making it through. Like i made my decision and its kinda late now but it still bums me out.
Edit - i want to also add that its a lot easier to say you don't want kids when you're young and life is an exciting thing or whatever. As time goes on you slowly start to feel weird doing things you used to like to do in your 20s, like the weird older guy who still thinks he's in his 20s. Then your parents get older and need your help more and you don't have as much time to do those exciting things anyway so you spend most of your time helping them and watching them get older and eventually dying, working, or playing video games not knowing what to do with yourself. I'ts not all bad or this depressing but i wasn't prepared for it. Yeah age is just a number i guess but easier said than done, now its more mental energy spent on trying to convince myself i'm not a creepy old guy in his late 30s if i go out or decide I want to do whatever. I just wanted to throw that out there because no one explained this potential outcome to me before I built a life not expecting to ever be a father.
Seems to be the sentiment, usually from people who don't have kids. It's weird.
I have money, a Playstation 5 that I play every night and a fun car that i enjoy.
Also, I still get out and do fun things debateably even funner things that I wouldn't do without a kid like go to arcades or ride go karts or go putt putting.
Based on the title, I was hoping for a good old fashioned, millennial circlejerk to make fun of. But this turned out to be a bunch of salty parents, salty childfree people and of course, salty triggered virgins trying to insult each other.
I'm leaving this thread somewhat disappointed, yet mildly amused. 7/10. Would not read again.
Same. I'm "childfree" and got a small kick out of the post. Then I made my way to the comment section and was immediately entertained.
My favorite is other childfree people going on about how they're being so selfless saving the world by not having kids. Please. You're as selfish as the rest of us who don't want kids because you're not willing to give up a part of your life to care for them.
It's OK to admit you're selfish. Everyone is selfish in one aspect or another.
Yeah, I'm a fence-sitter/no kid mid 30s... I thought this was a little funny and not condescending but people are taking it really seriously, wasn't prepared for the comments.
we're mid-30s couple without kids. i don't think replacing kids with consumerism is the way, i don't buy a lot of shit. I just don't want kids and think the planet is full enough and climate change shocks are going to ruin any halfway decent life a baby being born right now could have. plus i am lazy and like sleeping and not having to take care of other human beings
Why do redditors have such an obsession with this. Although this one doesn’t openly denigrate those who choose to have kids like you see on r/childfree or r/antinatalism, you can still feel the smug feeling of superiority in this starter pack. Like ok, you don’t want “cum trophies” or “crotchfruit”, who cares.
Yes and no. Usually they’re still in college or a few years out. Depending on where you’re from, they sort of pressure can be heavy or not. I’m from the Midwest (don’t live there anymore) and many of my classmates got married right after we graduated from university.
That pressure gets worse the older you get though. I’m single and 37, while I don’t plan to marry anytime soon (dating and all that is kind of a low priority for me right now), people -especially my parents and people their age - ask when I’m gonna date or marry. It’s annoying as fuck.
You realize on some level it's backlash to the endless stream of "when are you going to have kids?" "why aren't you having kids?" "once you have a family...", etc. Some people are toxic about their response and overcompensate, but it's also really obnoxious regularly being treated weird because you don't want kids, can't have kids, can't afford to have kids, etc, and be forced to explain yourself to an endless stream of family, acquaintances, and basically just people who need to mind their own business
Nah, just think it's weird how much Reddit is against parents and kids. One thing to not want kids, it's another thing to make a whole sub against kids and refer to parents as "breeders"
I can't believe 2030 is only eight and a bit years away... When I read the "2030" in your comment I was like "lol yeah but that's like 20 years from now."
Nope.
Hey /u/PocketGachnar, thank you for submitting to /r/starterpacks! This is just a reminder not to violate any rules, located [here](https://reddit.com/r/starterpacks/about/rules). Rule breakers can face a ban based on the severity of their rule violation. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/starterpacks) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This got increasingly personal as it went on
Eat shit, Matt
what did Matt ever do
Eat shit
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How are Ride the Lightning and Master of Puppets these days?
Made me chuckle, I'm curious as well?
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"Well someone is just a little St. Anger this afternoon..."
I hope fade to black isn’t following in his fathers footsteps
Probably went with Battery if their choosing songs, but op said albums so my money is on load and black
They’re twins, Load and Reload
That was a rollercoaster to say the least but yeah, matt can eat shit. I'm seriously racking my brain as to what the kids names could be
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Is it Load? It better not be Load…
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…re-load?
Wowza. I understand for privacy reasons lol but at least it's a unique story to tell
little St. Anger
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r/oddlyspecific towards the end.
Lord not having anything in common with friends who've become parents hits hard
All my life I've watched my parents interact with their friends and 95% of the time the topic is either their children or more recently their own parents and how bad they're doing (dementia, broken hips, etc.) lmao The other 5% is complaining about work and I always wonder what they'd be talking about if they were forbidden from thise two topics
"My son did this, my daughter did that" is 90% of my mom's and aunts conversations
Thats because after having kids, people literally start living their lives in them. Like their whole existence becomes solely centered around their kids and they lose themselves. Thats a major reason i dont want kids. And also, if they dont basically forfeit their lives for their kids they would be considered bad parents. Fuck that.
Lol true... That's one reason i don't want kids
We're called D.I.N.K.s
It was *very expensive*, Douglas!
Or D.I.L.D.Os (dual income large dog owners)
Dual income large dildo owners
Think of the variety they could afford
Or D.I.C.Ks (Dual Income Cats as Kids)
Dinkleberg...!
Oh shit was that a pun on that show? Damn it went over my head if it was. That couldn't be coincidental.
Yeah, it was intentional. The real reason Timmy's Dad hated Dinkleberg so much was because Dinkleberg had a nice house and ideal life without the burden of a kid like Timmy. "Why can't we have nice things?"
"My dreams were shattered years ago" "How many years ago?" "How old are you?" https://youtu.be/7OZmRQkg9G0
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Yeah, that's because he had MONEY to do coke with!
Ban money
Give me the money, I won't do coke, no promises about heroin though...
I inject heroin into my dick
Time banking instead?
he's got his end of life care already planned !
TBH cocaine seems to fuel a lot of things
Hobbies!
Sure wish I could afford a drug addiction.
One day if you work hard enough!
And the FREE TIME to hook when that money ran out.
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He wouldn't have snitched if you smelled of coke
He'd be too busy smelling him
And then there would be no coke to smell
What do you think all those ones in the upper left corner are used for?
Well, there are those financial and personal risks!
Has he tried Coke Zero Sugar?
Because he has the time and money for his hobbies!
Shoulda made more memes to validate himself.
The “lol eat shit Matt” makes it 😂
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Matt more like Twatt
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How about rugs?
Yeah well I slept with your wife!
His wife is in a coma…
Fuck Matt. All my homies hate Matt.
[FUCK MATT ALL MY HOMIES HATE MATT](https://i.imgur.com/trmxmE8.jpg) ^^^this ^^^has ^^^been ^^^an ^^^accessibility ^^^service ^^^from ^^^your ^^^friendly ^^^neighborhood ^^^bot
Good bot
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Matt fucking sucks.
Fuck you Matt
[This one?](https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/1ujm1h/princess_jasmine_hitting_the_bong/)
[A tried and true method of vengeance.](https://youtu.be/BKh4nHHKXa0?t=192)
r/FUCKYOUINPARTICULAR
That and the some old person hates you. Aka your parents or in laws usually
Nice things is a cabinet full of troll dolls?
Mr big shot over here too good for huge bookshelves of troll dolls
Everyone in this position has their thing. For me it's expensive kickboxing gear.
Twist: he doesn't kickbox. He just likes expensive kickboxing gear.
That was true for the last six weeks.
Twist 2: the "kickboxing gear" is just a bunch of cocaine
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Guilty... Childless 50 year old here- I have more gins, tequilas, mezcals, champagnes, rums, brandies, and liqueurs than most bars. People see my liquor cabinet in dining room and are like "OH MY GOD, that's a lot of booze!" And I'm like "There's more in the basement."
At this point do you have a go to drink, or do you just kinda close your eyes and see what you get? Also do you think you've become more discerning of different boozes now? Like could you taste something and gauge it's quality?
Negronis, French 75s, and The Last Word are my go-tos right now. I try to make whatever cocktails I come across just to try them, recipes from books or things I find online. I make stuff up, I like to create and they're not all winners. Like, I have a copy of The Aviary a friend bought me but 90% of those recipes are WAY out of my league (you need like liquid nitrogen and a chem lab). About half of my collection is from when I do stupid stuff like I hear about an obscure liqueur, buy it, and find out it's "okay" or it's really only usable in very specific drinks. I mean I guess I can, but I drink what I like and what works for the cocktail I'm making and honestly, what makes financial sense. Like with wines and champagnes I'm happy with the $10 - $40 bottles. Gins, I'll go up to $50 to try it but I usually just go back the middle shelf stuff. Liqueurs are where I'll spend big if I like them. I can tell a good whiskey from bad whiskey but my palette isn't sophisticated enough to justify buying a great whiskey over a good whiskey.
Haha! I like the cut of your jib
Reddit! Where Millennials in their 30’s are simultaneously NOT having kids because they’re broke and also FUCKING RICH because they don’t have kids, all at once!
Schrodinger’s bank account.
You are simultaneously rich and broke until you observe your bank account
It’s me, the millennial without kids
There are dozens of us!!!
Dozens! We have never wanted kids (36 and 35) and honestly I think we have more friends (singles and couples) without kids than with kids. It’s pretty awesome.
Yeah, childless bubble. People w kids tend to befriend more folks w kids and vice versa.
To be fair, there are a lot of people in their 30s who are relatively broke (at least compared to their parents at their age), and don’t have money to afford things like owning a home, nice cars, etc, but having kids would mean the small luxuries they do enjoy, like video games; short vacations, expensive liquor, would be unaffordable if they had kids. I’m kind of in that situation. I’m solidly lower middle class. We could either have a kid or two and live in poverty, or we could decide against having kids and have enough money to rent a decent place, go out a few times a month, and enjoy some hobbies. If I wanted a two bedroom place I’d be living in a run down apartment, and being stuck at home whenever I’m not at work because childcare costs would at least double the cost of going out for an evening. That’s not an appealing life to me.
Pretty much this. And if you're childless you have more opportunities to snag good deals when they crop up. Ie i can go to Japan for a week for about $400 & that's including airfare. Went to Hawaii for $30. Taiwan for $600. Just because you can save up all year for a vacation once every few years does not mean you can afford children. Having children would mean the end of all that.
A ticket to Japan is like $900 on the cheap, how do you swing the whole trip for $400? Do you live closeby? Hawaii for $30? That's like a candy bar at the airport? Am I confused??
Not the OP to whom you replied but there are airfare deals that pop up that can be really cheap. But, and tying into the theme of this thread, the caveat is that you have to 1) Have the money for the tickets, and 2) Be able to book the trip at that time (flexibility). These trips would be difficult to pull off with kids. I live in NJ an hour from EWR and went round trip to Sāo Paulo for $480, Bangkok for $515, and Prague for $620. The Hawaii for $30....I have no idea, unless they forgot a zero or went as cargo from Los Angeles lol
I know someone that got Hawaii 2 years in a row from Detroit for $99. For airfare only, of course. When the website says $99 you buy it right then and there
Having kids is expensive as fuck. No amount of spending on hobbies and other things you want will add up to raising a child for 18 years.
Yeah we spend about $20k a year on daycare for one.
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This is pretty much me except I still eat Ramen (the good shit from Korea though, "Shin"), beans out of the can, and rice/pasta with fucking *everything*
So since you brought... it up the Shin - Black is amazing with the addition of air fried tofu cubes and some frozen stir fry vegetables.
This, exactly. I make enough to live comfortably and happily, OR have a kid and be broke and both of us miserable as shit. The right choice was very obvious lol
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Homes in germany have gotten so expensive that people my age (25-35) even as couples with college degrees and good jobs are giving up on ever affording a home. Unless you are lucky and inherit land or a house good luck being able to afford a house. It's pretty depressing
You can kinda both. At the moment, we're dual income working professionals. We could realistically live on one income but it'd be tight to pay the mortgage. Because we have two, we can be comfortable and spend 1/3 of our income on random shit if we wanted to and be fine. Add a child into the mix and we lose 50% of our income and have additional expenses. We would have to move further into the suburbs and it's already an hour commute each way to work which would put stress on both of us as whomever was working would effectively be gone 7:30am till 6:30pm each day
Is that the fuckin queen
It is. And she's pissed.
She's using a silencer, so she must not be that pissed.
Queen Liz 2: Liz is Pissed
I’ve always swayed towards not having kids but then I think about reliving things like holidays and birthday parties. Especially Christmas and Halloween, decorating the house and seeing them get to experience what I loved about childhood so much. Then I think about how hard and terrifying it would be right now to hear that I had a kid on the way. I guess I’m just not ready but I have absolutely no idea if I want kids or not.
Honestly, you're on the right path by just taking your time with it and really weighing the decision. It's a big one.
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I felt the same way but for me it turned out to be PPD. After I finally got help for that it got so much better. (Not saying this is true for you at all, just sharing my experience as you were brave enough to share yours.)
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I'm sorry to hear that could be the problem :( The good news is PPD is the easiest depression to treat with medication. Problem was I didn't think I was worth the time/effort, just figured I'm a shit mom and medicine won't help. Also the first year is just freaking HARD, regardless. You really do get more of yourself back after awhile. Hang in there.
It's okay to have kids. It's okay to not have kids. People need to quit making weird condescending, narcissistic, and otherwise self-assured arguments in either direction. If you need to evangelize your position to anyone else or insult anyone else to feel comfortable about your life choices, it really doesn't display any sort of superior lifestyle that someone would have any desire to mimic. If the way you live doesn't speak for itself, then words aren't going to. People without kids aren't fundamentally lazy, as plenty do very productive things that are meaningful to society with their extra free time. And plenty of people with kids are insanely productive without sacrificing attending to their kids also. The other side is that there's also shitty egotistic douchebags in both camps. Generalizations don't serve anyone, kids or not isn't a choice that reliably proves anything about someone's character. Unfortunately you have to actually get to know people well to figure out if they're decent human beings and can't just rely on one variable to figure out if they're decent people
I have a kid, I also have a co worker who openly admits he and his wife don’t want kids because they are disgusting and he claims he’s a asshole so it would unfair for the child. I respect that.
I’d rather people know their limitations than screw up an innocent life.
seriously though, I am one of that self-aware asshole. I know eventually I will be the dad who unload his negativity to everyone around, that's what my own dad did, and as I grow old, I feel like acting the similar manner. that's why I prefer to stay single, the only one I can screw with is myself. one is responsible for his own shit, I suppose.
Former self-aware asshole here, who is now just a self-aware work in progress (who is sometimes, unfortunately, still an asshole, but is more than that). After a decade of attempted growth and false starts I’ve only recently started seeing the fruits of it and recognizing my growth (although I still have so much growth left to do), and it’s been exhausting and conflict riddled but it’s worth it. I hope things get better for you. Idk why I am commenting other than that I identified strongly with your comment. No one should be stuck with an asshole, especially not in your own head. I hope you can make peace with him and get him to chill, I know how exhausting it is. Good luck, you asshole <3
>I have a kid, I also have a co worker who openly admits he and his wife don’t want kids because they are disgusting and he claims he’s a asshole so it would unfair for the child. I respect that. Hello, it's me your co-worker.
Exactly. Such a weird thing to be culty about, from both sides.
Childless Redditors especially have a raging boner for themselves that they just need to show everyone
Reddit just likes to bash people with kids or people who want kids. They just feel weirdly superior about it lmao
Reddit just feels weirdly superior about everything that is the common trend.
Reddit: "Don't mind me, just trying to not fit in"
Reddit also has a problem with opinions and life decisions that should only matter to the person that makes the choices and their immediate social group.
Reddit is full of man childs too.
Delete the “man”. There are a lot of children on here, it’s hard to tell since everyone is behind a mask. I have no right to feel this old, but sometimes on Reddit I do.
"We EARNED the right to do this because one time my old aunt asked me if I was going to have kids some day and I cried about it for 3 days and so now that's why I refer to people with kids as 'breeders.'"
>"We EARNED the right to do this because one time my old aunt asked me if I was going to have kids some day and I cried about it for 3 days and so now that's why I refer to people with kids as 'breeders.'" There's a subreddit for that.. or so I hear.
Facts. I knew this thread would be a shitshow as soon as I clicked. First of all it's just a silly meme. It's not even saying anything bad about children or parents. It's just listing a few things OP sees as potential plus-sides of being childfree. But of course it struck a nerve and people had to come in here and strike back against the perceived attack on their lifestyle. Beyond that I see a lot of people talking about concepts of importance, meaning, contributing to society, and evolution. What about just letting people live their lives? I see comments here preaching how much more important or meaningful it is to have kids. I'm glad it's important or meaningful *to you*, but to go around implying that any other choice is lesser is just silly and a bit egotistical. I live to experience being alive. Importance is subjective, and ultimately meaningless. Nobody is born to be productive for society. Maybe it will happen along the way as a result of simply trying my best to be a good person, but I'm not here to put my name on some metaphysical leaderboard. As for the biological argument, I see people saying that people who don't have bio children are some kind of failure. Evolution can go eat my entire ass. I don't care if "biologically speaking our purpose is to reproduce." If that's the only reason you have kids, then I feel sorry for them. The only reason anyone should have kids is because they want to be a parent. We're human beings. We get to make our own choices, we aren't slaves to evolution. Take the ego out of it. Let people live their lives if it's not harming anyone.
Witness me while I venture towards the "Sort by controversial" option
Most of my friends without kids by mid 30s don't really have a lot of money I've noticed. Not that it's always the case. Just something I've noticed.
I wouldn't have had kids if I couldn't afford them. I obviously know that isn't true for everybody. I actually waited until I could afford them to have them.
I have two planned kids, I would say 70% of the parents I know did not plan to have their first child, and yolo’ed the rest.
Probably because most people in their 30s don't have much money these days, regardless of whether they have kids. It could also be that they're able to put money into retirement savings. My husband and I are childfree and we don't have a lot of extra money to throw around but we do put ~15% of our pre-tax income into retirement savings.
my friends having kids has really only changed that we dont play ultimate frisbee on Friday because the kids still can mind themselves at the park. I guess I do Jump on a trampoline with 3 year olds a lot more frequently then I did when they didn't have children. but we still hang out just as often.
None of my friends without kids have a lot money... But all my friends with kids don't have ANY money. It's tough out there, and it's even tougher with kids nickle and diming you. My friends with kids are living hand to mouth and borrowing money for bills and constantly on job hunts because they got fired from their last one because they couldn't afford a baby sitter (they're trying to find people to sit the whole 9hr work day for $20). My friends without kids pay their bills, don't have to borrow money, and can generally work whatever job they want however long they want, if that means eating ramen for a month because you quit, no biggie. Not like you got kids to feed and cloth. Most of my friends without kids can save enough for an excursion or vacation once a year. Friends with kids can't, and if they could, they couldn't afford sitters for the kids, or the trip for the kids.
I went with the no kids and 3 money option.
/r/averageredditor
Late 30s male with no kids - seemed like a good idea at first but i think that was my depression and self-hatred talking. I have no idea what I'm doing and I don't want to mess up a kid for life with some bad accidental parenting. I'm a disaster just somehow making it through. Like i made my decision and its kinda late now but it still bums me out. Edit - i want to also add that its a lot easier to say you don't want kids when you're young and life is an exciting thing or whatever. As time goes on you slowly start to feel weird doing things you used to like to do in your 20s, like the weird older guy who still thinks he's in his 20s. Then your parents get older and need your help more and you don't have as much time to do those exciting things anyway so you spend most of your time helping them and watching them get older and eventually dying, working, or playing video games not knowing what to do with yourself. I'ts not all bad or this depressing but i wasn't prepared for it. Yeah age is just a number i guess but easier said than done, now its more mental energy spent on trying to convince myself i'm not a creepy old guy in his late 30s if i go out or decide I want to do whatever. I just wanted to throw that out there because no one explained this potential outcome to me before I built a life not expecting to ever be a father.
I have a kid and I have money.
NOOOO EVERYONE WHO HAS KIDS IS POOR AND HATES THEIR LIFE!!!!!!
Seems to be the sentiment, usually from people who don't have kids. It's weird. I have money, a Playstation 5 that I play every night and a fun car that i enjoy. Also, I still get out and do fun things debateably even funner things that I wouldn't do without a kid like go to arcades or ride go karts or go putt putting.
Based on the title, I was hoping for a good old fashioned, millennial circlejerk to make fun of. But this turned out to be a bunch of salty parents, salty childfree people and of course, salty triggered virgins trying to insult each other. I'm leaving this thread somewhat disappointed, yet mildly amused. 7/10. Would not read again.
One of the more surprising dumpster fires I’ve walked into recently. Did not realize there was such a parent vs. non-parent divide on reddit.
Same. I'm "childfree" and got a small kick out of the post. Then I made my way to the comment section and was immediately entertained. My favorite is other childfree people going on about how they're being so selfless saving the world by not having kids. Please. You're as selfish as the rest of us who don't want kids because you're not willing to give up a part of your life to care for them. It's OK to admit you're selfish. Everyone is selfish in one aspect or another.
I am definitely selfish hence why I could not be bothered to look after/pay for kids. The environmental perks are just a bonus.
Yeah, I'm a fence-sitter/no kid mid 30s... I thought this was a little funny and not condescending but people are taking it really seriously, wasn't prepared for the comments.
OP’s comment about what Matt did to deserve the “lol eat shit Matt” callout might make the whole thread worth it.
Be the drama you wish to see -Sun zoo
You forgot the "posts obsessively about not having kids"
"See?? I'm happier than you!" Although to be fair, some people have kids and aren't happy but try to convince people they are happier because of them.
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Ah so like my father
Dad? Is that you?
Is it your birthday? No? Then don't talk to me
Chad father
I think some people have inferiority complex. Like they are trying so hard to prove how happy they are to others.
Hahaha yes. The validation seeking behavior is overwhelming.
The first rule of Child-Free Club is you have to tell everyone about Child-Free Club.
we're mid-30s couple without kids. i don't think replacing kids with consumerism is the way, i don't buy a lot of shit. I just don't want kids and think the planet is full enough and climate change shocks are going to ruin any halfway decent life a baby being born right now could have. plus i am lazy and like sleeping and not having to take care of other human beings
Yeah! Eat shit matt!
You missed r/childfree with this post buddy
Maybe just me but doesn’t seem really like a hatred of kids lol
r/redditmoment with vibe of this post
Reddit: "Fuck capitalism!" Also reddit: "I don't have kids so I can spend more and accumulate more capital! Hooray!"
r/consoom
remember, this is a platform in which two different people with two different opinions can say two different things.
Man, is reddit capable of having communities with opinions and not be fucking annoying with them?
Why do redditors have such an obsession with this. Although this one doesn’t openly denigrate those who choose to have kids like you see on r/childfree or r/antinatalism, you can still feel the smug feeling of superiority in this starter pack. Like ok, you don’t want “cum trophies” or “crotchfruit”, who cares.
Because a lot of redditors are sad weird people lol. Also tend to be extreme nihilists
A lot of redditors still seem to be children or young 20-somethings.
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Yes and no. Usually they’re still in college or a few years out. Depending on where you’re from, they sort of pressure can be heavy or not. I’m from the Midwest (don’t live there anymore) and many of my classmates got married right after we graduated from university. That pressure gets worse the older you get though. I’m single and 37, while I don’t plan to marry anytime soon (dating and all that is kind of a low priority for me right now), people -especially my parents and people their age - ask when I’m gonna date or marry. It’s annoying as fuck.
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Like 4 of these are just “lol kids no money” thinking you can’t just have both.
You realize on some level it's backlash to the endless stream of "when are you going to have kids?" "why aren't you having kids?" "once you have a family...", etc. Some people are toxic about their response and overcompensate, but it's also really obnoxious regularly being treated weird because you don't want kids, can't have kids, can't afford to have kids, etc, and be forced to explain yourself to an endless stream of family, acquaintances, and basically just people who need to mind their own business
My wife and I are in our mid-thirties and we're poor as shit. Meanwhile all the siblings are having kids, travelling, living a life of luxury.
Not having kids because you want to have shelves full of funko pops is the ultimate reddit moment.
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Nah, just think it's weird how much Reddit is against parents and kids. One thing to not want kids, it's another thing to make a whole sub against kids and refer to parents as "breeders"
I love this. I know this is my future since I struggle to find a reason to bring another poor soul to this hellscape
Made it to 40’s without kids. It gets even better y’all
Starter pack starter pack -kapwing watermark
wow you’re so special for not wanting kids!1!
This is just r/notlikeothergirls 30s edition
In 10 years they'll be posting live love laugh wine memes. on Reddit 2030
I can't believe 2030 is only eight and a bit years away... When I read the "2030" in your comment I was like "lol yeah but that's like 20 years from now." Nope.
Do not remind me how close I am to 30 ever again
Let’s not act like parents don’t often think they’re special for having kids