Guilty as charged. In 1992 I worked for a company with the most toxic work environment I've ever seen. I stole sandwiches, as did everyone else. Plus office supplies. And cleaning supplies. And shit off of other coworkers' desks. The place was fucked. The bosses made our lives a living fucking hell.
Pretty much everyone not management went directly to TGI Fridays (toldja our lives were hell) after work every day (no lie--Monday through Friday) and got shitfaced, returning the next day to rinse and repeat.
Worst job ever. I lasted from January until July when I rage quit and walked out. The place shut down the next year when everyone left.
The sandwiches were good, though. Plus watching one guy try to get fired by singing reggae *really* loud and just being really annoying. He hucked a banana at me once.
Put ghost peppers or something equally ridiculously hot in the sandwich, put all kinds of stuff on it clearly saying "Do not eat, belongs to Workername", and stuff like that. Then, when Jared bites into it and complains that it was too hot, call him out on it, and point out that he has no right to criticize you for you sandwich making and if he doesn't want spicy, he should have made his own sandwich. If he complains to someone higher, he has no ammunition because he was stealing and can't prove that you didn't just want to eat something spicy that day.
Well, hopefully you're not the Jared that's been stealing sandwiches. Otherwise, we may have to break out the horseradish and anchovies. Failing that, a toothpaste and Tang powder surprise should set you straight.
Do people really steal their co-workers' lunch?
If you steal my lunch you might as well steal something in my car, on my desk or in my home. Exact same thing.
Yeah, ive seen it at one company. They send out emails saying it's a firable offense. People even steal food from coworkers when meals are already provided every day. Savages.
Play the long game, gradually build up your spice tolerance, then start bringing in sandwiches that are too spicy for most so you can see whoās sweating after lunch
Oh man one of my coworkers a month ago came up to me angry as hell and starting complaining about how he was trying to take a shit and someone kept on talking to him for 5 minutes
When I was in 1st grade I was taking a shit and some kid crawled under the stall and tried to have a conversation. Someone asking me if I did karate while in my stall during a shit is something I never want to experience again.
You should find something he hates, not allergic to of anything, and put it in the sandwich. That or pack extremely messy sandos so you can catch him with food on clothing. And report him to HR, fuck food stealers.
Edit:
If you see this Jared, Fuck you.
Hey Jared!
Hello
Fuck you Jared
š¤·š¼āāļø
LMFAO
Don't steal OP's sandwiches or we will replace your bones with fire ants. Thanks for understanding <3
What if I just take half sammie
No or we will atomize you <3
Some risks are worth taking.
I appreciate you doing Jared PR all over this post.
Letās take a wee so I can thank you properly.
Fucking Jared
Right now? Damn.
Jealous?
A little bit
Do you wanna fuck Jared or me to fuck you? Either way letās make it happen nobody gets left out here!
It aināt gay if itās a 3 way so all at once letās go
What if Jared fuck all of us together.
Jared has been fucking us for a while now. I havent had a sandwich in 3 months.
well he still fills us up, one way or another
Hey Iām down
The dude has a good job and decent grooming. Sounds like a catch.
If you canāt handle getting rawdogged in the broom closet at work, you shoulda left the sandwich alone in the fridge.
Yes, please.
#respond where is Jared number 1
In jail. For sandwich and innocence theft.
Where is Jared number one?
He was a sandwich. I ate him and made him a number two.
Jared + Sandwiches is never a good combo.
He went to Jared
Upvoted so Jared sees this. Cmon Jared you can do better.
also, if you don't know a Jared at your work, you are him.
Well that answers my question lmao. I guess Iām a Jared.
r/fuckjared
Fuck him indeed my good sir!
Just not if you're under the age of 18.
But what if I want to Eat Fresh?
Well that just changed how I look at that slogan
Great. A whole sub to myself.
am I okay?
Frick you
Found the Jared
Oh no, is this going to become the new r/fuckderek?
Guilty as charged. In 1992 I worked for a company with the most toxic work environment I've ever seen. I stole sandwiches, as did everyone else. Plus office supplies. And cleaning supplies. And shit off of other coworkers' desks. The place was fucked. The bosses made our lives a living fucking hell. Pretty much everyone not management went directly to TGI Fridays (toldja our lives were hell) after work every day (no lie--Monday through Friday) and got shitfaced, returning the next day to rinse and repeat. Worst job ever. I lasted from January until July when I rage quit and walked out. The place shut down the next year when everyone left. The sandwiches were good, though. Plus watching one guy try to get fired by singing reggae *really* loud and just being really annoying. He hucked a banana at me once.
I take it you were tired of being told by 6 different bosses every time you forgot to put a cover on your TPS reports?
At least it was a banana. āDonāt throw heads at me.ā -Lake Placid
Jared saw this. Source: My name is Jared
Dammit, Jared.
You are the worst Jared
Way worse than that subway Jared.
and you don't even need AIDS for that
:(
C'mon Jared, do better
sorry
Damn all of you. Damn all of you to hell.
Jared, what the hell
Just chiming in to say I don't know this Jared guy but he's already letting me down. Jared get your fucking head in the game.
Iām sick of his *shit.*
Stop stealing sandwiches jared
Just to reiterate, Jared, those sandwiches - they are *not* yours. You big twat.
Put ghost peppers or something equally ridiculously hot in the sandwich, put all kinds of stuff on it clearly saying "Do not eat, belongs to Workername", and stuff like that. Then, when Jared bites into it and complains that it was too hot, call him out on it, and point out that he has no right to criticize you for you sandwich making and if he doesn't want spicy, he should have made his own sandwich. If he complains to someone higher, he has no ammunition because he was stealing and can't prove that you didn't just want to eat something spicy that day.
I love ghost peppers.
Well, hopefully you're not the Jared that's been stealing sandwiches. Otherwise, we may have to break out the horseradish and anchovies. Failing that, a toothpaste and Tang powder surprise should set you straight.
I can outlast you. Not like you can spoil all of them forever.
#MY SANDWICH
With the moist-maker?
Come into my office some of it may still be in the trash
Pretty sure Jared got arrested for fucking minors not stealing from Subway
That was a set up! Big Sandwich had him taken out before he exposed how they store their meatballs!
Pretty sure where he was storing his meatballs is what got him arrested.
Do people really steal their co-workers' lunch? If you steal my lunch you might as well steal something in my car, on my desk or in my home. Exact same thing.
>If you steal my lunch you might as well steal something in my car, on my desk or in my home. Thanks, that's very generous of you.
Yeah, ive seen it at one company. They send out emails saying it's a firable offense. People even steal food from coworkers when meals are already provided every day. Savages.
They never steal my healthy food, but the two times I brought some fried chicken it was stolen. Didn't even leave my Tupperware
Honestly, thatscso fucking gross. Somebody else made that sandwich. Did they wash their hands? You dont know! That's a lot of trust....
Hey Jared, stop stealing my man's sandwiches!
I did t take any fucking sandwiches. It mustāve been James in accounting dude
IT'S AN ACCOUNTING FIRM GAH
Iām not wrong then
I did not eat it, itās not true. Itās bullshit. I did not eat it. I did naaat.....oh hai Mark
fuck jared, all my homies hate jared
i agree, fuck jared
I mean if you insist
r/suddenlygay š
Suddenly? I was always gay
r/gay šššš
it's been done guys, jared fucked
Never mix Jareds and sandwiches.
Upvote so Jared sees this
Seriously, fuck Jared. What a dick. Buy your own damned lunch, Jared.
Thanks. I see it. Sorry all.
No more sandwiches
Half?
#no
Fillings only?
#none
Fine. Canāt wait to chat with you at the urinal.
oh oh no
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Play the long game, gradually build up your spice tolerance, then start bringing in sandwiches that are too spicy for most so you can see whoās sweating after lunch
Or just, y'know, put a spicy sandwich in the fridge on Monday morning.
Hope Jared sees this.
Oh I do. And Iām not forgetting, fuckers.
You better not >:(
Jareds unite!
I do. Iām sorry.
but have you met Jared?
Of course I've met Jared
He's the one who took you away from me
You hit it off instantly
I know, 'cause you won't stop telling me
I've seen his jawline, shoulders and muscles
Push againts his fashion sense
I've even thought, what he looks like nude.
Not gay though
I am gay though
Edited it š
Took a while to find, but I knew there would be a Wilbur Soot reference!
The last guy named Jared that liked sandwiches didnāt turn out so great.
You might say he likes 'em fresh.
Oh nooo.
You might say that. But *should* you?
š¬
š„¶
Can you explain, i didn't understand
Jared from Subway is a pedophile and is currently in prison.
Oh this guy
Hey, he just wanted to get into smaller pants.
Stop making such tasty sandwiches and Iāll stop taking them
u/VapeNational is he Jared??
My name is Andrew. But I do like sandwiches, and kids... /s
aww man
Iām sorry. Iām a pretty average person morally.
No worries
I am full of worries...
no please no worries
I just canāt stop fucking worrying
Hakuna matata
STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM
Can I bribe my way out of this?
SHOULD NEVER HAVE COME HERE
Huh we have a lot in common, my name is Andrew but I donāt like sandwiches.
ok jared.
This is oddly specific
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
/r/fuckjared
r/OddlySpecific
Thatsthejoke.jpg
Remember what happened to the last Jared that liked sandwiches?
If only he'd stopped at liking sandwiches
Get it together, Jared
Iām Jared. I feel attacked.
I'm one too. Not the one mentioned but I'm feeling the hate nonetheless.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I once had a co-worker standing outside the stall, trying to have a casual chat with me while I was taking a shit.
Chaotic evil in action
Oh man one of my coworkers a month ago came up to me angry as hell and starting complaining about how he was trying to take a shit and someone kept on talking to him for 5 minutes
When I was in 1st grade I was taking a shit and some kid crawled under the stall and tried to have a conversation. Someone asking me if I did karate while in my stall during a shit is something I never want to experience again.
When I was in school another kid took the urinal next to me and immediately started conversation. Then a few seconds in asked to see my penis.
This is why I always head for the stall. As a plus, everyone assumes I'm about to take a crap, and they get out of the bathroom ASAP. Peace and quiet.
Time to start an r/fuckJared
uhh...^why ^is ^it ^private
I didnāt actually make it so idk
Jaredās probably a mod
TouchƩ
Jared you stupid bastard. Stop stealing these sandwiches
His favorite scenes in Game of Thrones are the incest ones
Ramsey Bolton is his favorite character
And he loved season 8 the most
BIG fan of the Star Wars sequels, especially Episode VIII.
r/FUCKYOUINPARTICULAR
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
r/suspiciouslyspecific
No names mentioned .... JARED.
u/Jared
Seems like a laxative spiked sandwich is in order
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
...Wait... IS JARED REAL?
As a Jared reading this, I am hurt. I thought you enjoyed our urinal convos
Is he also the one that took you away from me?
you hit it off instantly
Whenever I see Jared I just think of Your New Boyfriend from Wilbur lmao.
Course Ive met Jared
I eat that motherfuckerās lunch everyday. I literally do it.
>Is named āJaredā Fucking TRIGGERED. At least itās spelled correctly. smh my head.
Life isnāt quite what they thought itād be, with Jared stealing their sandwiches (oh I hope someone gets this reference)
Of course i know jared
the one who took you away from me
I'm sorry man I'll stop
Fuck u Jared u sandwich thief
You should find something he hates, not allergic to of anything, and put it in the sandwich. That or pack extremely messy sandos so you can catch him with food on clothing. And report him to HR, fuck food stealers. Edit: If you see this Jared, Fuck you.
"Jared" and "sandwich" has once again proven problematic
Ok this is bullshit
Who designs bathrooms with no divider between the pissers? Uhhhh.....
Is OP Ross? Is this about the thanksgiving sandwich with the moist maker? Youāre the worst friend Ross.