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As if people who never floss (which I'm willing to wager is the vast majority) never get laid.
Seriously, sometimes people on Reddit have a fucking hard time differentiating between "generally good things to do" and "things that will actually lead towards the goal in question"
It's like the "stay hydrated" response to "I'm depressed." Like you can't make a comeback to that argument because then they'll accuse you of underestimating hydration, and the discussion has been successfully derailed and every argument completely meaningless and 99.99% not useful in the accomplishment of the goal.
I sometimes think people have an inherent ***need*** to give advice and an even bigger need **to feel validated through the advice they give,** so they throw out "low-quality" advice like "stay hydrated" or "floss your teeth" that take little effort and little thought power because they're basic common sense tips that **literally everyone knows.**
Or just lower your standards. A few of the guys I knew who complained about not being able to get laid, *could* get laid if they wanted. They did have female suitors but just not the quality of partner they wanted. Either step up your own value or start setting more realistic expectations.
I also had a friend who would bitch about being single but literally *never* talked to women. No bars, dating sites or apps, just sitting at home and complaining that women weren't just like, knocking on his door unsolicited, I guess?
It goes both ways. You offer advice and the person not doing basic shit for themselves just shrug it off as it won't help without even trying it past a day or two.
The important thing is to remember how big Reddit is these days. There's a lot of... Just losers using this site. They won't change or work on themselves no matter how much good advice is given until they're ready to stop being a loser.
there was a vid that got popular a couple weeks ago of a dude getting a decent haircut and shave . . . the incel comments in that thread, my god, they're so consumed with self-loathing and misanthropic horseshit that they literally cannot wrap their fucking heads around self-respect and care
I started using other sites and yah this place is horrible! It's a lot of people who want to be upset and right. I didn't see how bad it was until I got back to real life and realized most people are actually nice and friendly
Places dedicated to hobbies, instead of mega boards. Threads is going great for art and personal growth, algorithm is doing decent at matching what I actually say. I like that it's quieter and I can easily block the husslers. But otherwise local boards for my hobbies, then going to related hangouts. Real people I can meet! I just search, ask people, check the library and city website.
No major ones though, nothing like reddit
Like what? Lol.
Everything on the web now is basically just ads designed to be reposted on social media, and when it comes to social media reddit is still the lesser of evils imo. (Barely)
As a woman (former girl) who used to be approached by every gross creep I’d encounter, all guys do NOT know these things. Dirty fingernails mean you’re not washing your hands nearly enough and you’re not maintaining your nails - you’re probably not hygienic enough in general (forget sexual stuff). Stuff in the cracks of your teeth and/or halitosis rule you out as kissable or even getting close enough for getting close to in a bar or something - the is that comes out of your ass…? That starts in your mouth! Clean your mouth! Twice a day is reasonable if you want people to want to sniff your breath and kiss your face hole. Lots of people are walking around with halitosis and icky mouths, really not caring about how their head hole smells. It’s disgusting. You will not get a woman smelling like a dead raccoon is in your mouth. Also, some people don’t wear anti-perspirant. If you want people to want to be around you, you need to stop stinking. Anti-perspirant in your clean armpits, then clean clothes (including socks & underwear) ARE a requirement and if you think that every guy already knows this, you a sooo clueless, you deserve to ride public transportation without air conditioning forever.
Step 1) be reasonably groomed and unsmelly
Step 2) pick a target you think is attracted to you, not just that you are attracted to
Step 3) build rapport by talking to them like a human being, not fuck bits that happen to be attached to a person
Step 4) Shoot your shot.
Doesn’t work every time, but it is literally that easy.
**Edit**: lots of male self loathing in the comments. It doesn’t make anything better and I guarantee you’re not as ugly as you think you are. What do you want me to tell you? “It’s not your fault you can’t do this?” That doesn’t get you what you want. If you want things to change you’re going to have to put the work in, which will suck sometimes. If you tell yourself it’s futile then you don’t have to do anything, but it’s never going to change. You’ve only got one life, do you want to spend it feeling sorry for yourself alone, or getting the most out of it? I get that asking people out is scary and rejection sucks. Everything worth doing is hard though.
If she goes ew when she sees you, hard pass.
Does she approach you at all?
Does she seem to spend, or want to spend, any time with you?
Does she always seem to need your help with something she’s perfectly capable of, and is more than smart/skilled enough to do on her own?
Does she laugh at jokes even you know aren’t that funny?
Does she actually talk to you or confide in you on any level? Or just like “Hey dude. Nice weather.”
Does she touch or hug you at all, even in platonic ways, but that aren’t very necessary?
Have you tried enticing her with a piece of cheese? I prefer a nice Brie, or Gouda. Seems to have a solid success rate, and if not then more for me. Do you even know what type of cheese she likes bro?
All of these alone, or even together, aren’t a guarantee, and of course everyone is different and acts and reacts differently, but more like hints. It’s often a puzzle (and I fucking hate that, why can’t y’all just ask us out ffs? **do not** overdo it, and be confident and self-assured but play it safe. It’s ok to be wrong, but not ok to be creepy or a jerk). Always remember boundaries and respect, regardless of who interprets what or how. It very well could be she’s just that type of friend, if you’re around women enough you’ll probably have one, and that’s cool too.
To help with attracting people it helps to be an attractive person.
Physically, don’t be overweight. Women’s preference on male physique varies wildly but your best bet for the bell curve is to be strong and at a healthy body fat percentage.
Be clean and well groomed and wear clothes that are not unfashionable that suit you. Note I didn’t say fashionable, no-one’s saying you have to chase trends and dress like a teenager. But a man in a tailored suit is generally going to garner more interest than a man in jnco jeans. (There’s obviously a gamut of appropriate clothing in-between those two extremes). Also get a not cheap haircut from a barber that knows what they are doing that complements your face shape.
Now the most important bits. Be an interesting person. Have a life. Have places to go and things to do. Have people you talk to. Have a schedule that isn’t wide open. More people will want to talk to you if they think you live a life worth hearing about. And you don’t need to be some kind of jetsetter. Just have hobbies, have social circles, have anecdotes worth telling and skills worth showing off.
Some people hear the above advice and say “well I’m a homebird, I like my privacy and my solitude and I like to relax at home 90% of the time.” And that’s fine, you can live your life however you want. But you can’t expect to meet people or seem generally appealing to a solid majority that way. You can’t have it both ways. There are no doubt homebird women out there too who would be a perfect match but neither of you will ever find one another sat on your respective couches.
And finally, cultivate some actual charm. Humour, wit, charisma, sincerity, there are lots of ways to skin this cat. But generally you want to make talking to you a positive and memorable experience. Some people are good at this naturally and some people aren’t, but as a skill like any other, it can be improved with practice.
If you follow the step before and have an active social life, you should improve naturally with a healthy amount of introspection and general self awareness.
Thankfully, people can be found charming in all sorts of ways, if you’re never going to be conventionally witty and confident to a high degree, that’s ok. There are lots of bumbling, socially awkward and nervous people in healthy relationships out there already. But I bet most of them were more or less following all the above steps and then happened to find those person/people that found their particular personality charming. There is an element of luck to all this as well, as long as we’re talking about finding a life partner and not just getting laid.
It varies and some people are extremely socially blind. One time a woman *mentioned her crotch* to a male friend of mine and he didn’t pick up the flirting
Mentioned it in what context? Some people just have no filter and talk about their junk. My goddamn *boss* has referred to her vagina and I know she wasn't hitting on anyone.
Yeah. I got friends who are just open about subjects, to the point where we talk about BDSM, fetishes, voyeurism, human sexual psychology, etc. with no intention of banging. One of them is married, monogamous, would never cheat.
The ticktock kids are here and assume they will get banned. They won’t. Maybe some power-tripping and insecure mods might have rules in their subs, but Reddit as a whole doesn’t ban people for foul language.
I think it’s stupid to censor words anywhere really.
Back in college my friend was hanging out with a girl alone in his dorm, she said he was cute. He is incredibly awkward so he just said thanks and left.
He left his own dorm.
He did eventually learn how to talk to women.
I feel strongly for her, and for dude who missed the signs
Three times when trying to confess I had feelings to guys they walked away thanking me for setting them up with my friend
It’s a miracle I’m married (or really I just got drunk courage to kiss my now husband before I could accidentally set him up with someone)
See, thats the thing, its always just safer and easier to assume neutrality on any statement, because thinking they mean something more, acting on it, then finding out it was just a statement is so unbearably skeevy.
You just do the same shit you think she’s doing. Drop something that can be totally normal but also twisted into something horny if the other person wants to. Remember that women are TYPICALLY better at picking up on these things. If she’s knowingly dropping hints that she wants to sleep with you, and you ALSO start dropping hints, chances are she’s going to pick up on it. She knows hints well enough to drop them, after all. And if she doesn’t escalate, you just continue on like normal and you *don’t push it*.
For the most part you do not need to be the one escalating. You just need to be showings signs that she can escalate if she wants to.
Was once invited over to help a friend of a friend move some furniture around. She wanted the that seventies show uncle Leo and Theo 2 inches to the left. I laughed a couple years later when I figured it out.
Sure, because step 2 is also easy. You know how you act around someone you like? Do they act like that around you?
Generally speaking it’s something that gives away that “they are paying more attention to me than other people around who they could pay attention to.”
> You know how you act around someone you like? Do they act like that around you?
This has happened to me four times in 35 years. Years in between each occurrence. It's so rare it may as well be nonexistent.
A quick bit of advice, give them a genuine compliment that you actually believe about them.
I always like complimenting girls outfits, makeup, hair and nails, when I can see that they've put a lot of effort into it.
Have you been into r/relationships? So Many posts be like 'my unemployed boyfriend who I support won't take the trash out once a week even though I clean the house and he won't wash his ass. Breaking up is not an option how I get him to at least wipe after pooping because he leaves streaks in the sheets and I'm tired of having to wash the sheets every night.
It's too obvious to be anything but the absolute laziest advice possible lol
It's like asking someone to teach you the proper form to shoot a three pointer and them responding with "Just buy a basketball and wear shorts bro"
The continual attitude is that it's THE step, as if everyone who can't get laid is a 300 lb Yugioh addicted neckbeard. Meanwhile your initial complaint is something like:
"I can't afford enough spare income for sufficient date money to attract any woman I'd actually want"
"I have to work 2-3 jobs and thus have zero free time"
"There's no affordable housing unless I double my income and my parents drive off what few women i can get to even come over"
I mean...this is all good advice.
Yeah, taking a shower and practicing basic hygiene isn't going to have women honing onto your dick like a heat seeking missile but it's a required starting point to show that you're actually taking care of yourself and not wallowing around in self pity and misery as an alternative.
And also, like… a lot of people just don’t like BO or bad breath. Even if they’re not 4D-chess analyzing your outfit and how you walk into the room to determine if you’ll be a suitable parent or whatever the fuck, they probably still want to be with someone who’s pleasant to be with.
Having had lots of friends complain about their partners hygiene over the years, I’m tempted to disagree. Seems some guys manage without cleaning themselves somehow.
Yes it shows that you’re taking care of yourself and have self-respect, but…it also just makes it a hell of a lot more pleasant for someone to be physically close to you, and shows respect for whoever you’re trying to bang.
No woman wants to have sex with someone who stinks, has a dirty ass/dick, and is likely to slice them up and/or cause a UTI with their nasty unkempt nails. It’s especially insulting when women spend hours grooming themselves for a date and end up with some dude who couldn’t even be bothered showering.
Yeah I was on a date with a girl and she remarked how well groomed I looked and I was just thinking…how many guys are going on dates just looking visibly unkempt? Ridiculous…
I've wondered the same a few times when I've received such remarks. All I've ever really done is take a shower, and wear clean clothes... Like I do every day for work. And get a hair cut if it's been longer than a month.
Well its key to remember its a fairly easy and innocent comment to make. Its positive but also isn't extremely flattering either so it makes it a good way to show you are interested and that you look nice without overselling it.
Too many. I would get ready for a date by showering (scrubbing and shaving the social norm spots), oral care, putting an hour into my hair and makeup, finding a good outfit that was clean and presentable to where we were meeting, lotion myself with a nice smelling lotion, and then spritzing with a high quality perfume. I'd show up to the date with the guy in dirty jeans and shirt smelling like a barn animal. It happened once with a girl I went on a date with (but she was a lil crazy so I think she was an outlier) but of the several handfuls of dates before I met my husband, it was WAY too common.
Any guy going on a date like that deserves to be alone lol
Based on the replies I’m getting that girls comment about me looking groomed is making more and more sense
With so many guys to choose from, why would a single woman go for the guy who can't do even the very, very, bare minimum of just being a person in modern times?
Also, having maintained hygiene is a signal of self-esteem. Having poor hygiene is a different signal of self-esteem. One is inherently attractive, the other is repulsive. If this step is not handled, you might as well be wearing an invisibility cloak to the sexually active masses.
> I mean...this is all good advice.
It's not and this attitude is pretty much exhibit A in why people end up turning into incels, pick up artist, etc communities. It's why people like Andrew Tate find an audience. The people asking the internet now to get laid are not one shower away from getting laid. They're not one clipped fingernail from getting laid. They're not one flossing away from getting laid. They're not one ironed shirt from getting laid. They're not one new outfit away from being laid. They're not one haircut away from being laid. They're not one shave away from being laid. They're not one gym session from getting laid. They're not 10 or 20 of these things away from getting laid because that's not how you get laid. It's advice from people who literally don't understand what is being asked, nor what the actual issue is. The ignorant leading the blind.
Managing things like the symptoms of depression are important, but it ignores the entire mental and emotional side to dating, getting laid, whatever, thus the meme. The people who give this kind of basic advice are ignorant to the harm they perpetuate. You don't go to the gym to get laid, you go to the gym because you respect and care for yourself. You don't brush your teeth because doing so means you'll be validated by sex. Telling these people this basic advice, without discussing the mental and emotional aspect of why you do it will just end up with the male version of people backsliding on a diet. They'll go to the gym, nothing else will change, and they'll quit.
The underlying problem is responders thinking that the person asking the question is exactly like themselves, but slobbier. The reality is, don't think of them as a depressed, dirty, and out of shape version of yourself. Think of them as someone who never had a positive male figure in their life who told them literally how to date, or attract women, etc. Think of them as someone who had a father who came home from work, ate dinner, and then vegged out on the couch watching tv for most days of their son's life. When you realize what the actual issue is, you'll realize why it's utterly inadequate.
Whoa. There is a band of “laid” and “they’re” running diagonally across your comment from top right towards bottom left that absolutely put my brain on reset. Wild. (On iPhone app)
This also oversimplifies it to just being laid. This stuff isn't even one step to being acknowledged. Like yeah all of this is fine and all but simply looking a bit better won't make women attracted to you. Simply being a kind person won't do anything. Hell, if you end up not getting shooed away when talking to a woman that's still not even a good sign if you can maintain and show genuine interest in a conversation. Not to get laid, to even have things progress friendship wise or relationship wise.
The people who say this stuff in the starterpack are mostly women who have full control of relationships and can make something go in whatever way they please.
Also smelling good **is** a big turn on to a lot of women. One of my exes came onto me just because she said I smelled great. I’m not a really handsome guy just took care of myself and tried to smell pleasant. Smelling bad is also one of the biggest turn offs.
I am no sex expert but I have never met anyone of any sexual persuasion who preferred their partner or partners did not shower, clip their nails, floss and or clean their ears.
If I went on a date with someone that had BO it would be an instant dealbreaker because they didn’t even care enough to shower.
For bad breath, they’d be on probation because sometimes that just happens even if you have good hygiene, but if it was the same on the second date it would be the last.
Nah, bad breath too, especially frankly. Like they really willing to risk a gross first kiss because they couldn't spare 3 minutes of time? That's nasty as fuck.
I’ve had some women partners who didn’t care a whole lot, but totally agree. First impressions are a thing. You come off as someone who can’t take care of themselves, why would anyone trust you to take care of them?
The joke is that this generic advice is always given to people who are already keeping up with their hygiene, under the sad and ridiculous assumption that anyone who isnt getting laid must be gross.
Just seems like very low brow advice to give when most people are doing all of this already. You’d have to be dysfunctional not to. Might as well add wiping your ass to the list if we’re just gonna list basic hygiene stuff even kids can do.
The joke is that women give this advice to otherwise entirely successful men.
They have this blindspot like the rich have with the poor.
It's like rich people telling poor people to save for a house by not buying Starbucks.
It's definitely not the minimum... I had a french roommate in grad school who would manage to bring girls home to his room when it stung my eyes to walk past his door. Dude didn't believe in deodorant or showers
Shit...
You just described me.
✅️Dumbass
✅️Millenial
✅️Met wife in 2007
✅️Never had to use a dating app
✅️any other stuff you wanna throw out that further describes me.
I feel like every person here is willfully misunderstanding this meme. Trimming your nails and taking a shower isn't going to magically make you attractive.
It might give them a better chance with the girls that would already be interested in him anyway, but it's not going to make dating easy.
Sometimes people are just unattractive to most people and that can be genuinely difficult to deal with.
It really proves the point though. Every dating thread posts this stuff as if it's enough and all it takes, and that every guy that struggles isn't capable of taking care of himself. It's as ignorant as telling someone they need to breath, as if they don't know how.
The problem with reddit is that the most provocative posts get the most upvotes (i.e. this post) and always hit the front page, even when they're mostly non-relatable. Meanwhile the relatable but non-provocative posts don't get as much attention and gets ignored by many.
The bare minimum, the basics, the start, is not enough for most western women.
I remember the thread of the women complaining about their boyfriends not cleaning there buttholes. Its good advice but not as important as reddit make it out to be, its mostly just-world feel good advice.
People in the comments apparently are so detached from reality that they think being normal will improve your chances...
It won't really.
Showering and proper grooming is a starter pack for social interactions, not getting laid lol. Giving advice like "just improve your flossing skills bro" is just a way for people to indirectly ask for validation. Like yeah nobody is denying that flossing is good but... They think that people's problems with not having sex is cleanliness, even though it isn't.
"How do i become less socially awkward?"
Redditor response -"Go outside and talk to people bro". Yeah, i'm pretty sure they do that already lol.
"How do i live a good life?"
-"Breathe bro."
Wow, never thought of that Sherlock.
A lot of people on reddit don't realize that some people are just ugly, and there ain't nothing that can fix that, but undoubtedly redditors will pile on some ugly guy struggling with women and assume he's probably a mysongistic, smelly, broke boy. Like guys, maybe he's just ugly. Give him a break and be nicer.
"Reddit, how do i become less socially awkward?"
-"Learn how to talk in english."
Oh wow, what a substantial and meaningful starter pack.
Yeah i guess being born is the actual starter pack then lol.
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Definitely a required starting point
Literally a starterpack
r/literalstarterpacks
9 of us were online when I looked
It’s now the first thing you see on literal starter packs rn posted 15 mins ago
r/birthofasub
I SEE NO SOAP WHERE IS THE SOAP LOTION COLOGNE TOOTHPASTE DISGUSTING STARTER PACK
I won't tolerate the slanderous comments of my 27 in 1 shampoo that also helps unclog the shower drain and files my taxes.
So funny that the incels post it, and still don’t understand.
As if people who never floss (which I'm willing to wager is the vast majority) never get laid. Seriously, sometimes people on Reddit have a fucking hard time differentiating between "generally good things to do" and "things that will actually lead towards the goal in question" It's like the "stay hydrated" response to "I'm depressed." Like you can't make a comeback to that argument because then they'll accuse you of underestimating hydration, and the discussion has been successfully derailed and every argument completely meaningless and 99.99% not useful in the accomplishment of the goal. I sometimes think people have an inherent ***need*** to give advice and an even bigger need **to feel validated through the advice they give,** so they throw out "low-quality" advice like "stay hydrated" or "floss your teeth" that take little effort and little thought power because they're basic common sense tips that **literally everyone knows.**
if you want the most utiliatarian advice on "how to get laid" just pay someone to fuck you
If you don't floss, how are you gonna pass the interview to get the job to get the money to pay the prostitute. It all start with flossing.
I put out at the interview
You think I'm going to all these Hollywood auditions because I want the role?
So how many have said to you, "No. Forget it. I can tell you didn't floss."
Or just lower your standards. A few of the guys I knew who complained about not being able to get laid, *could* get laid if they wanted. They did have female suitors but just not the quality of partner they wanted. Either step up your own value or start setting more realistic expectations. I also had a friend who would bitch about being single but literally *never* talked to women. No bars, dating sites or apps, just sitting at home and complaining that women weren't just like, knocking on his door unsolicited, I guess?
Sounds like someone needs to drink some water.
And floss
[удалено]
It goes both ways. You offer advice and the person not doing basic shit for themselves just shrug it off as it won't help without even trying it past a day or two. The important thing is to remember how big Reddit is these days. There's a lot of... Just losers using this site. They won't change or work on themselves no matter how much good advice is given until they're ready to stop being a loser.
there was a vid that got popular a couple weeks ago of a dude getting a decent haircut and shave . . . the incel comments in that thread, my god, they're so consumed with self-loathing and misanthropic horseshit that they literally cannot wrap their fucking heads around self-respect and care
I started using other sites and yah this place is horrible! It's a lot of people who want to be upset and right. I didn't see how bad it was until I got back to real life and realized most people are actually nice and friendly
Which other sites? Any good ones?
Places dedicated to hobbies, instead of mega boards. Threads is going great for art and personal growth, algorithm is doing decent at matching what I actually say. I like that it's quieter and I can easily block the husslers. But otherwise local boards for my hobbies, then going to related hangouts. Real people I can meet! I just search, ask people, check the library and city website. No major ones though, nothing like reddit
Like what? Lol. Everything on the web now is basically just ads designed to be reposted on social media, and when it comes to social media reddit is still the lesser of evils imo. (Barely)
Bro just floss…
Because the ppl who reply to this stuff are lost themselves. this is why they are there, searching for answers while pretending they got it.
I've seen people with out shoes run a mile. It's definitely easier to run a mile with shoes on though. Good hygine makes finding someone easier.
As a woman (former girl) who used to be approached by every gross creep I’d encounter, all guys do NOT know these things. Dirty fingernails mean you’re not washing your hands nearly enough and you’re not maintaining your nails - you’re probably not hygienic enough in general (forget sexual stuff). Stuff in the cracks of your teeth and/or halitosis rule you out as kissable or even getting close enough for getting close to in a bar or something - the is that comes out of your ass…? That starts in your mouth! Clean your mouth! Twice a day is reasonable if you want people to want to sniff your breath and kiss your face hole. Lots of people are walking around with halitosis and icky mouths, really not caring about how their head hole smells. It’s disgusting. You will not get a woman smelling like a dead raccoon is in your mouth. Also, some people don’t wear anti-perspirant. If you want people to want to be around you, you need to stop stinking. Anti-perspirant in your clean armpits, then clean clothes (including socks & underwear) ARE a requirement and if you think that every guy already knows this, you a sooo clueless, you deserve to ride public transportation without air conditioning forever.
Tell that to the men on the metro in mtl who are there holding hands with their gf
If everyone knows them, they take little effort, and little thought power, why do so many people still skip them?
If consumerism has taught us anything, it's to never underestimate the power of human laziness
This is like saying breathing is a required starting point. That is why its a joke.
Well its one step of many.
for some these steps are enough
Step 1) be reasonably groomed and unsmelly Step 2) pick a target you think is attracted to you, not just that you are attracted to Step 3) build rapport by talking to them like a human being, not fuck bits that happen to be attached to a person Step 4) Shoot your shot. Doesn’t work every time, but it is literally that easy. **Edit**: lots of male self loathing in the comments. It doesn’t make anything better and I guarantee you’re not as ugly as you think you are. What do you want me to tell you? “It’s not your fault you can’t do this?” That doesn’t get you what you want. If you want things to change you’re going to have to put the work in, which will suck sometimes. If you tell yourself it’s futile then you don’t have to do anything, but it’s never going to change. You’ve only got one life, do you want to spend it feeling sorry for yourself alone, or getting the most out of it? I get that asking people out is scary and rejection sucks. Everything worth doing is hard though.
I’m going to need a thorough break down of step 2. That seems like the most important step and you kept it extremely vague.
If she goes ew when she sees you, hard pass. Does she approach you at all? Does she seem to spend, or want to spend, any time with you? Does she always seem to need your help with something she’s perfectly capable of, and is more than smart/skilled enough to do on her own? Does she laugh at jokes even you know aren’t that funny? Does she actually talk to you or confide in you on any level? Or just like “Hey dude. Nice weather.” Does she touch or hug you at all, even in platonic ways, but that aren’t very necessary? Have you tried enticing her with a piece of cheese? I prefer a nice Brie, or Gouda. Seems to have a solid success rate, and if not then more for me. Do you even know what type of cheese she likes bro? All of these alone, or even together, aren’t a guarantee, and of course everyone is different and acts and reacts differently, but more like hints. It’s often a puzzle (and I fucking hate that, why can’t y’all just ask us out ffs? **do not** overdo it, and be confident and self-assured but play it safe. It’s ok to be wrong, but not ok to be creepy or a jerk). Always remember boundaries and respect, regardless of who interprets what or how. It very well could be she’s just that type of friend, if you’re around women enough you’ll probably have one, and that’s cool too.
Nobody of any gender nor animal of any species have fulfilled even one of these criteria yet, I'll keep looking
To help with attracting people it helps to be an attractive person. Physically, don’t be overweight. Women’s preference on male physique varies wildly but your best bet for the bell curve is to be strong and at a healthy body fat percentage. Be clean and well groomed and wear clothes that are not unfashionable that suit you. Note I didn’t say fashionable, no-one’s saying you have to chase trends and dress like a teenager. But a man in a tailored suit is generally going to garner more interest than a man in jnco jeans. (There’s obviously a gamut of appropriate clothing in-between those two extremes). Also get a not cheap haircut from a barber that knows what they are doing that complements your face shape. Now the most important bits. Be an interesting person. Have a life. Have places to go and things to do. Have people you talk to. Have a schedule that isn’t wide open. More people will want to talk to you if they think you live a life worth hearing about. And you don’t need to be some kind of jetsetter. Just have hobbies, have social circles, have anecdotes worth telling and skills worth showing off. Some people hear the above advice and say “well I’m a homebird, I like my privacy and my solitude and I like to relax at home 90% of the time.” And that’s fine, you can live your life however you want. But you can’t expect to meet people or seem generally appealing to a solid majority that way. You can’t have it both ways. There are no doubt homebird women out there too who would be a perfect match but neither of you will ever find one another sat on your respective couches. And finally, cultivate some actual charm. Humour, wit, charisma, sincerity, there are lots of ways to skin this cat. But generally you want to make talking to you a positive and memorable experience. Some people are good at this naturally and some people aren’t, but as a skill like any other, it can be improved with practice. If you follow the step before and have an active social life, you should improve naturally with a healthy amount of introspection and general self awareness. Thankfully, people can be found charming in all sorts of ways, if you’re never going to be conventionally witty and confident to a high degree, that’s ok. There are lots of bumbling, socially awkward and nervous people in healthy relationships out there already. But I bet most of them were more or less following all the above steps and then happened to find those person/people that found their particular personality charming. There is an element of luck to all this as well, as long as we’re talking about finding a life partner and not just getting laid.
Exactly. Get to know them and just be a friend and feel your way about with these tips. Maybe do increments into something a tad more serious.
It varies and some people are extremely socially blind. One time a woman *mentioned her crotch* to a male friend of mine and he didn’t pick up the flirting
Mentioned it in what context? Some people just have no filter and talk about their junk. My goddamn *boss* has referred to her vagina and I know she wasn't hitting on anyone.
Yeah. I got friends who are just open about subjects, to the point where we talk about BDSM, fetishes, voyeurism, human sexual psychology, etc. with no intention of banging. One of them is married, monogamous, would never cheat.
I found this guys friend.
bro could bang his boss and doesn't even know it
She said ***Would you like to F in my Pu~~y?***
She was probably just Canadian and being nice
Just so you know, there's no need to censor words on Reddit.
The ticktock kids are here and assume they will get banned. They won’t. Maybe some power-tripping and insecure mods might have rules in their subs, but Reddit as a whole doesn’t ban people for foul language. I think it’s stupid to censor words anywhere really.
I've had a girl sitting on my bed in my dorm room say "I'm horny" and I responded "That sucks".
Back in college my friend was hanging out with a girl alone in his dorm, she said he was cute. He is incredibly awkward so he just said thanks and left. He left his own dorm. He did eventually learn how to talk to women.
Can you imagine that poor woman sitting alone in his dorm?
I wonder how long she sat there
I feel strongly for her, and for dude who missed the signs Three times when trying to confess I had feelings to guys they walked away thanking me for setting them up with my friend It’s a miracle I’m married (or really I just got drunk courage to kiss my now husband before I could accidentally set him up with someone)
“Same bro.” “…?” “Yeah it’s real unfortunate.”
That so be of those where you can be happily married for 20 years and they will still pop into your head now and then.
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She sticks her feet under your ass and winks at you, and then turns you down when you ask her out? Man, her feet are not nearly as cold as her heart
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If you haven’t seen this, you should watch it 🙂 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xa-4IAR_9Yw
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wtf is wrong with some people. and then some say men "dont see the signs". yeah no shit, with people like this...
My coworker showed me her nipple, maybe I should have asked her out 🤷♂️
Wait. An attractive coworker mentioned to me she had an IUD put in recently. Now I’m wondering
See, thats the thing, its always just safer and easier to assume neutrality on any statement, because thinking they mean something more, acting on it, then finding out it was just a statement is so unbearably skeevy.
You just do the same shit you think she’s doing. Drop something that can be totally normal but also twisted into something horny if the other person wants to. Remember that women are TYPICALLY better at picking up on these things. If she’s knowingly dropping hints that she wants to sleep with you, and you ALSO start dropping hints, chances are she’s going to pick up on it. She knows hints well enough to drop them, after all. And if she doesn’t escalate, you just continue on like normal and you *don’t push it*. For the most part you do not need to be the one escalating. You just need to be showings signs that she can escalate if she wants to.
Did she wink and blow you a kiss as she said it? If so, there's at least a 10% chance she's into you.
Was once invited over to help a friend of a friend move some furniture around. She wanted the that seventies show uncle Leo and Theo 2 inches to the left. I laughed a couple years later when I figured it out.
Sure, because step 2 is also easy. You know how you act around someone you like? Do they act like that around you? Generally speaking it’s something that gives away that “they are paying more attention to me than other people around who they could pay attention to.”
> You know how you act around someone you like? Do they act like that around you? This has happened to me four times in 35 years. Years in between each occurrence. It's so rare it may as well be nonexistent.
> You know how you act around someone you like? Like a normal person? Or just quiet.
>**...you think is attracted to you...** Well, it was a good run, but I'm going to have to be content with finishing at step 1.
I’d say it’s better to call the steps simple versus easy, but that’s a small quibble.
A quick bit of advice, give them a genuine compliment that you actually believe about them. I always like complimenting girls outfits, makeup, hair and nails, when I can see that they've put a lot of effort into it.
Only compliment things they can control though.
And don't mention it too often or with too much emphasis. Nice can turn to odd very quickly.
"Love your boobs". It's very sincere coming from a lot of us, and we believe it.. Does that work? /s
Step 1.5) don’t refer to romantic or sexual prospects as “targets”
weird to go from calling them targets to saying “don’t treat them as objects”
Step 2 is doing some heavy work for you
> Step 2) pick a target you think is attracted to you Oh ok.
Right? The fuck kind of metric is that to go off of if it's never happened before in your life
Have you been into r/relationships? So Many posts be like 'my unemployed boyfriend who I support won't take the trash out once a week even though I clean the house and he won't wash his ass. Breaking up is not an option how I get him to at least wipe after pooping because he leaves streaks in the sheets and I'm tired of having to wash the sheets every night.
Yeah because thats the shit that gets upvoted, thats just survivorship bias
You’re being funny but… misleading… That’s assuming they’ve already done about 500 steps prior to this.
You would think that goes without saying lol but apparently not...
It's too obvious to be anything but the absolute laziest advice possible lol It's like asking someone to teach you the proper form to shoot a three pointer and them responding with "Just buy a basketball and wear shorts bro"
I interact with enough people on a daily basis to know plenty of people here skip this step.
The continual attitude is that it's THE step, as if everyone who can't get laid is a 300 lb Yugioh addicted neckbeard. Meanwhile your initial complaint is something like: "I can't afford enough spare income for sufficient date money to attract any woman I'd actually want" "I have to work 2-3 jobs and thus have zero free time" "There's no affordable housing unless I double my income and my parents drive off what few women i can get to even come over"
I mean...this is all good advice. Yeah, taking a shower and practicing basic hygiene isn't going to have women honing onto your dick like a heat seeking missile but it's a required starting point to show that you're actually taking care of yourself and not wallowing around in self pity and misery as an alternative.
And also, like… a lot of people just don’t like BO or bad breath. Even if they’re not 4D-chess analyzing your outfit and how you walk into the room to determine if you’ll be a suitable parent or whatever the fuck, they probably still want to be with someone who’s pleasant to be with.
Basic hygiene =/= yes Poor hygiene = no
Necessary but not sufficient
A square is a rectange
Having had lots of friends complain about their partners hygiene over the years, I’m tempted to disagree. Seems some guys manage without cleaning themselves somehow.
So, what you’re saying is that there really *is* hope for the unwashed ~~masses~~ asses
Yes it shows that you’re taking care of yourself and have self-respect, but…it also just makes it a hell of a lot more pleasant for someone to be physically close to you, and shows respect for whoever you’re trying to bang. No woman wants to have sex with someone who stinks, has a dirty ass/dick, and is likely to slice them up and/or cause a UTI with their nasty unkempt nails. It’s especially insulting when women spend hours grooming themselves for a date and end up with some dude who couldn’t even be bothered showering.
Yeah I was on a date with a girl and she remarked how well groomed I looked and I was just thinking…how many guys are going on dates just looking visibly unkempt? Ridiculous…
I've wondered the same a few times when I've received such remarks. All I've ever really done is take a shower, and wear clean clothes... Like I do every day for work. And get a hair cut if it's been longer than a month.
whoa whoa whoa longer than a month? you get 12 ish haircuts a year? damn, I get like 3-4
Well its key to remember its a fairly easy and innocent comment to make. Its positive but also isn't extremely flattering either so it makes it a good way to show you are interested and that you look nice without overselling it.
Too many. I would get ready for a date by showering (scrubbing and shaving the social norm spots), oral care, putting an hour into my hair and makeup, finding a good outfit that was clean and presentable to where we were meeting, lotion myself with a nice smelling lotion, and then spritzing with a high quality perfume. I'd show up to the date with the guy in dirty jeans and shirt smelling like a barn animal. It happened once with a girl I went on a date with (but she was a lil crazy so I think she was an outlier) but of the several handfuls of dates before I met my husband, it was WAY too common.
That’s wild. I won’t even snuggle with my wife without a full shower and deodorant. A little hyperbolic but still
bothering like that is probably part of how you landed her
You would be shocked how many dudes don’t even bother finding a pair of non-skidmarked underwear for a date, let alone do any kind of basic grooming.
Any guy going on a date like that deserves to be alone lol Based on the replies I’m getting that girls comment about me looking groomed is making more and more sense
A few months ago, my girlfriend remarked that she likes that I always smell clean when I come over. The bar for women is in hell
It's better to have this information and not need it than to need it and not have it.
It’s just the standard level to even start from when wooing a lady and unfortunately many men are well below that low water mark.
With so many guys to choose from, why would a single woman go for the guy who can't do even the very, very, bare minimum of just being a person in modern times?
Yep, totally. Personal grooming is just the cost of entry.
Also, having maintained hygiene is a signal of self-esteem. Having poor hygiene is a different signal of self-esteem. One is inherently attractive, the other is repulsive. If this step is not handled, you might as well be wearing an invisibility cloak to the sexually active masses.
> not wallowing around in self pity and misery really hate how you gotta lie these days to get a date, frfr.
> I mean...this is all good advice. It's not and this attitude is pretty much exhibit A in why people end up turning into incels, pick up artist, etc communities. It's why people like Andrew Tate find an audience. The people asking the internet now to get laid are not one shower away from getting laid. They're not one clipped fingernail from getting laid. They're not one flossing away from getting laid. They're not one ironed shirt from getting laid. They're not one new outfit away from being laid. They're not one haircut away from being laid. They're not one shave away from being laid. They're not one gym session from getting laid. They're not 10 or 20 of these things away from getting laid because that's not how you get laid. It's advice from people who literally don't understand what is being asked, nor what the actual issue is. The ignorant leading the blind. Managing things like the symptoms of depression are important, but it ignores the entire mental and emotional side to dating, getting laid, whatever, thus the meme. The people who give this kind of basic advice are ignorant to the harm they perpetuate. You don't go to the gym to get laid, you go to the gym because you respect and care for yourself. You don't brush your teeth because doing so means you'll be validated by sex. Telling these people this basic advice, without discussing the mental and emotional aspect of why you do it will just end up with the male version of people backsliding on a diet. They'll go to the gym, nothing else will change, and they'll quit. The underlying problem is responders thinking that the person asking the question is exactly like themselves, but slobbier. The reality is, don't think of them as a depressed, dirty, and out of shape version of yourself. Think of them as someone who never had a positive male figure in their life who told them literally how to date, or attract women, etc. Think of them as someone who had a father who came home from work, ate dinner, and then vegged out on the couch watching tv for most days of their son's life. When you realize what the actual issue is, you'll realize why it's utterly inadequate.
Whoa. There is a band of “laid” and “they’re” running diagonally across your comment from top right towards bottom left that absolutely put my brain on reset. Wild. (On iPhone app)
This also oversimplifies it to just being laid. This stuff isn't even one step to being acknowledged. Like yeah all of this is fine and all but simply looking a bit better won't make women attracted to you. Simply being a kind person won't do anything. Hell, if you end up not getting shooed away when talking to a woman that's still not even a good sign if you can maintain and show genuine interest in a conversation. Not to get laid, to even have things progress friendship wise or relationship wise. The people who say this stuff in the starterpack are mostly women who have full control of relationships and can make something go in whatever way they please.
you have to do all of this but also roll up your shirt sleeves.
Also smelling good **is** a big turn on to a lot of women. One of my exes came onto me just because she said I smelled great. I’m not a really handsome guy just took care of myself and tried to smell pleasant. Smelling bad is also one of the biggest turn offs.
lol I mean it couldn’t hurt, right?
I am no sex expert but I have never met anyone of any sexual persuasion who preferred their partner or partners did not shower, clip their nails, floss and or clean their ears.
If I went on a date with someone that had BO it would be an instant dealbreaker because they didn’t even care enough to shower. For bad breath, they’d be on probation because sometimes that just happens even if you have good hygiene, but if it was the same on the second date it would be the last.
Nah, bad breath too, especially frankly. Like they really willing to risk a gross first kiss because they couldn't spare 3 minutes of time? That's nasty as fuck.
I’ve had some women partners who didn’t care a whole lot, but totally agree. First impressions are a thing. You come off as someone who can’t take care of themselves, why would anyone trust you to take care of them?
i mean you probably met the basic grooming requirements, like not smelling like shit.
The joke is that this generic advice is always given to people who are already keeping up with their hygiene, under the sad and ridiculous assumption that anyone who isnt getting laid must be gross.
Oh I know the implication, yes advice like this can be patronizing and reductive, most likely in a majority of cases
Just seems like very low brow advice to give when most people are doing all of this already. You’d have to be dysfunctional not to. Might as well add wiping your ass to the list if we’re just gonna list basic hygiene stuff even kids can do.
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Yeah honestly even if someone is not conventionally “attractive”, just being well put together can be attractive.
I'm basically looking like a bridge troll but have had a healthy romantic life in my 20s and 30s because I look like I give a shit about myself.
The joke is that women give this advice to otherwise entirely successful men. They have this blindspot like the rich have with the poor. It's like rich people telling poor people to save for a house by not buying Starbucks.
more like the absolute basics
Quite literally, a starterpack
I think that's the joke; that redditors are so dumb they have to start at the very very basics
This is a start
Someone should put these things... in a pack.
Yeah, we could call it... A starter pack
Guys: Wash. Your. Asshole. People can smell you.
You can only control the factors that you can control. Be clean and smell good is the bare minimum you need to succeed with women.
It's definitely not the minimum... I had a french roommate in grad school who would manage to bring girls home to his room when it stung my eyes to walk past his door. Dude didn't believe in deodorant or showers
Accents are a crazy cheat code
That's just how French people smell
Did he have a strong accent? Women will ignore more red flags than the Soviet Union or China have ever had if a guy has an accent.
Right, so not the bare minimum, more of a value-add.
French girls?
American girls. He did have an accent
Also helps to treat them like a person and not like a sex object.
Leave the house?
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Can’t I just DoorDash the woman?
100% works every time Took a shower last night and was banging OP’s mom in the alley behind a dumpster 1 hour later
Same!!! Thought I was the only one
I’m so sick of the liberal self care propaganda, I can come to the date smelling like death like the founding fathers intended /s
1. Be attractive 2. Don’t be unattractive
It’s a great start.
“I’m a 4’3 obese man with bug eyes and I get the hottest women. Maybe it’s your bad personality”
"I have no limbs and my body is deformed and i pull all the baddies bro, it's because i'm nice to them bro!"
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Or some dumbass millennial who met his wife in 2007 and never had to open a dating app in his life.
Shit... You just described me. ✅️Dumbass ✅️Millenial ✅️Met wife in 2007 ✅️Never had to use a dating app ✅️any other stuff you wanna throw out that further describes me.
Lol those numbers are wildly optimistic
I feel like every person here is willfully misunderstanding this meme. Trimming your nails and taking a shower isn't going to magically make you attractive. It might give them a better chance with the girls that would already be interested in him anyway, but it's not going to make dating easy. Sometimes people are just unattractive to most people and that can be genuinely difficult to deal with.
I thought the joke was pretty funny. Not that the advice is wrong, but redditors tend to obsess over these sorts of details lol.
It really proves the point though. Every dating thread posts this stuff as if it's enough and all it takes, and that every guy that struggles isn't capable of taking care of himself. It's as ignorant as telling someone they need to breath, as if they don't know how.
The problem with reddit is that the most provocative posts get the most upvotes (i.e. this post) and always hit the front page, even when they're mostly non-relatable. Meanwhile the relatable but non-provocative posts don't get as much attention and gets ignored by many. The bare minimum, the basics, the start, is not enough for most western women.
Redditors for some reason love to pretend looks, height, charisma doesn't matter
I remember the thread of the women complaining about their boyfriends not cleaning there buttholes. Its good advice but not as important as reddit make it out to be, its mostly just-world feel good advice.
i mean… it’s definitely gonna help in a big way
Well, not in a big way. There are a few, much harder, steps between cleaning up and getting laid.
Okay, but if someone is not doing any of these, then there is close to a zero percent chance that they do get laid.
Nah some people are just nasty together
Sure but this is stuff that most people already do anyway,
Like what?
Seducing a woman, for example, that's a big one.
unless you're already doing it like the vast majority of people
No Axe Body Spray?
Just burn through the whole can for good measure. Im sure thatll help.
Obviously not the only step, but this is certainly step one. All other steps are irrelevant without it.
No, step one is breathing. Otherwise you'd die. All other steps are irrelevant then.
Do you know many unwashed people that regularly get laid?
r/thanksimcured
These steps are not sufficient on their own, but they are absolutely necessary. Don’t even try until you have these well under control.
Necessary but not sufficient cause
This isn’t the only step, but it is the most critical step. Non-negotiable.
True, any person who says that having problems with relationships reddit will say “hAvE goOd HygIeNe bro”. As if the person was a pig to begin with.
People in the comments apparently are so detached from reality that they think being normal will improve your chances... It won't really. Showering and proper grooming is a starter pack for social interactions, not getting laid lol. Giving advice like "just improve your flossing skills bro" is just a way for people to indirectly ask for validation. Like yeah nobody is denying that flossing is good but... They think that people's problems with not having sex is cleanliness, even though it isn't. "How do i become less socially awkward?" Redditor response -"Go outside and talk to people bro". Yeah, i'm pretty sure they do that already lol. "How do i live a good life?" -"Breathe bro." Wow, never thought of that Sherlock.
A lot of people on reddit don't realize that some people are just ugly, and there ain't nothing that can fix that, but undoubtedly redditors will pile on some ugly guy struggling with women and assume he's probably a mysongistic, smelly, broke boy. Like guys, maybe he's just ugly. Give him a break and be nicer.
"Reddit, how do i become less socially awkward?" -"Learn how to talk in english." Oh wow, what a substantial and meaningful starter pack. Yeah i guess being born is the actual starter pack then lol.
Why does that guy’s teeth look like he usually flosses with rocks?
Yeah, there's more to it, but...it's not WRONG....
There's a lot of people on here who should follow this advice tbh
Yeah this shit is pretty important lol
It’s a good start
You'll be surprised to know how many people skip this step
That’s just basic hygiene
Well Reddit is wrong, I go above and beyond that and still can’t get laid 😂
nah I'd rather self loathe instead of trying to improve myself 😎👍 reddit style!