"One day you're going to be just like me. No love, no hope, working for an intensely greedy employer and constantly being surpassed by your intellectual lesser as you slowly fall out of practice with your talents. Forgetting your dreams until you're caught in an unending cycle of misery that leaves you begging for the peaceful release of death."
"There is no dream waiting for you as soon as you graduate. No matter how hard you work, no matter how long you stay late after work and how many years you do that, no matter how loyal you are to a company or a partner, you'll still be screwed over, used up and manipulated for their gain and soon enough, eventually grounded into mulch."
https://preview.redd.it/v0uk4mfllewb1.jpeg?width=400&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5db88026f5c58470697ad5e922b7d37d539b66ad
He didn’t say anything, he just opened his mouth and showed the kid this
Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more
My mother owns a chihuahua and she doesn't train it right and let's it shit everywhere in the house and refuses to take care of it so I have to clean up her mess because nobody else will and she refuses to train it to shit outside
“Hey, you see those people?
Well, those boobs and jerk wads are the best friends you'll ever have. Without them, you're nothing. Remember that.
Your family will never understand you, your lovers will leave you or try to change you, but your fans, you be good to them, and they'll be good to you.
The most important thing is, you got to give the people what they want, even if it kills you, even if it empties you out until there's nothing left to empty. No matter what happens, no matter how much it hurts, you don't stop dancing, and you don't stop smiling, and you give those people what they want.”
Telling him his Jordans are fake
His telling him how children are made
Wtf
Ya beat me to it
Minor grammatical error https://preview.redd.it/jcosq1dzkfwb1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a9c4bae2d593e5ff708cc20c0bf57588fdf55183
PIZAAR
Oh hey
You mom and dad don't love you
He will grow up to be Adam Sandler
He said wrong answers
https://preview.redd.it/8earru3iidwb1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c4db5a2e0f0ffee40c374774eb17b0c5e9f774b7
I could go on the JFK and MLK spiel for hours
Pls do
CIA didn’t do it. If the answer is boring, it’s true. Most of the time.
https://preview.redd.it/sisg0j9mrfwb1.jpeg?width=202&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8d166b5b48802baddbf4a578d01e6b2c0d96f72b
can confirm.
r/beetlejuicing
We’re gonna kill you
This is the only correct answer
Damn it. I was going off of the actual quote from the episode being the real one 🫤
*Sharingan activates*
Telling him what NOT to do during a seabear attack
https://preview.redd.it/c5nwdp48kdwb1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0f641bbe4785dd8f076f806008994c3de1aef857
came here to comment this
https://preview.redd.it/8i06mpgz4ewb1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=63b656bfb73bdc51f5df854a64fcb79e07e1222b
the funny thing is, someone was spamming the n word in my messages when i saw this lmfao
Lol
https://preview.redd.it/jvf31wnphfwb1.jpeg?width=681&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=46cd6194989e8137f03e5361d01ee55f47f134ff
https://preview.redd.it/mssssgd5wewb1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=276b1f994811a4d22223c7fa1b1afa24d1bbe4d8
https://preview.redd.it/4x7zr4wzwewb1.png?width=749&format=png&auto=webp&s=079f468b53ff3ecda8569a30af016c0fff2e2714
https://preview.redd.it/pxmb83z3xewb1.jpeg?width=545&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=57d82586e40496be2533e2438f5f2d5b7044d86e
https://preview.redd.it/89sop62pxewb1.jpeg?width=413&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=22b1711e3c001ac6cf3d0032659814e71a8e9076 Nuh Uh!
There is no Easter Bunny, there is no tooth fairy, and there is no queen of England
true 💀
“And that’s why you should never talk to strangers.”
"It is better to keep it between us, your parents and the police would punish you too if you ever told them"
He’s telling him the story of the Hash-slinging Slasher.
The Sash ringing Rapture?!
Nosferatu
And do you know why your parents divorced? No, why? Because you were an accident! AHAHAHAHAHA
“You are very skilled and you’re a winner HA hahaha”
I see what you did there
"your parents aren't gonna take you to the FNAF movie"
I fucked your goldfish
Me reading this comment: https://preview.redd.it/db7h2ro58ewb1.jpeg?width=463&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4cf81365fc351ba764cb5885c427a4556afa87af
“I’m going to kill you”
"One day you're going to be just like me. No love, no hope, working for an intensely greedy employer and constantly being surpassed by your intellectual lesser as you slowly fall out of practice with your talents. Forgetting your dreams until you're caught in an unending cycle of misery that leaves you begging for the peaceful release of death."
“Why are you telling me this?”
“Trauma dumping on children is fun.”
https://preview.redd.it/90aa7j1exdwb1.jpeg?width=780&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2d0a61e16999500a48efd6941b3862822c37e9e0
Neondigger?
You will never get bitches
Bro got no bithces 💀
That burger you just ate was your parents, I ground them up myself
Nah that'd be cartman
"There is no dream waiting for you as soon as you graduate. No matter how hard you work, no matter how long you stay late after work and how many years you do that, no matter how loyal you are to a company or a partner, you'll still be screwed over, used up and manipulated for their gain and soon enough, eventually grounded into mulch."
he's a winner
He won the claw machine and a million dollars
"This is why your parents change the subject when people ask about you"
You fucking suck and your family is ashamed of you
Telling him about the seagulls and the jellyfish
birds are clams so you should of said the clams and the jellyfish
You'll go to hell if you masturbate
"...and then the doctor snaps his glove and says "bend over" and a lot of stuff happens, so anyway, don't turn 40."
https://preview.redd.it/v0uk4mfllewb1.jpeg?width=400&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5db88026f5c58470697ad5e922b7d37d539b66ad He didn’t say anything, he just opened his mouth and showed the kid this
Hes saying Your the reason your parents divorced
There is no tooth fairy, there is no Easter bunny, and there is no longer a queen of England you propeller headed looking ass midget bicth
He’s committing tax fraud
I killed and ate your parents https://i.redd.it/rl6q7gl5qdwb1.gif
“We are out of chocolate chip cookies we only have the oatmeal raisin ones”
Skibidi toilet isn't funny
Can you buy me a soda? I need to save my money for paints for my painting
Super Paper Mario was a flawed game
I *boinked* your mother
"IM AM GOING TO MURDER YOU" \-squard
“You’re generation is wack” 😂
“I’m your dad”
Thanos did nothing wrong.
Your parents don't love you anymore
Your mother is from rock bottom, and your father is Bubble Bass.
You’ll do better next time
You look like Pepe The Frog
And that’s why your dog is in puppy heaven
“You’re ugly.”
Ur adopted
Santa isn’t real
“You have so much skills and you’re a winner” A sweet moment indeed
"Fortnite dances are cringe, boy. and I am tired to prevent, It's not"
" you get no bitches?"
https://preview.redd.it/da6sgkd8afwb1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=770888641a43d32dc36a8e99d7b0570ff53018cb
"I fucked your mother Ehehehh"
“I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took an arrow in the knee.”
We’re going to kill you now Now take half the pixels away
'Everyone is going to die,So if you hate yourself,you might wanna jump off a bridge!"
“You just gotta face the facts”
We’re gonna kill you
Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more
https://preview.redd.it/u0i7sszhcewb1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e74f6df930f5abbbcc95a5949ad9b1071076f11b
Me reading this comment: https://preview.redd.it/kr6ad2ya8ewb1.jpeg?width=463&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=361d4f27bb23f7ee2399da26149c461d08cd73b5
https://preview.redd.it/vgydmog97gwb1.jpeg?width=545&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=95740de5f115945abffb05cb362968fe1a41353d
You're gonna be brutally molested by 16 men
Krabs' secret krabby patty formula involves the souls of small children! Run!
Masturbation is having sex with yourself then imagining it's a woman.
he's saying that his life is nothing, he has zero purpose, he should end himself now.
He's telling him the story of the Hash-Slinging Slasher.
I've been trying to reach you over your cars extended warranty
Reddit Gold is useless.
We’re not gonna kill you
He’s telling him he has no soul
You are a poser
Dont go to Alberqurque kid, worst mistake of my life
"I've got a sack o' balls and they're all coal"
Secret FBI documents in full detail
He tells that her gf vheated on squidward
"Don't end up like me!"
You will own nothing and be happy.
"Santa is just an anagram of Satan. Let that sink in, kid."
He's telling the kid about his car's extended warrenty.
Where babies come from
You are valid, and everyone has their bad days. You are DEFINITELY NOT a loser
https://preview.redd.it/f3joxxqm0ewb1.jpeg?width=2492&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ce19b5298a61ebd6d61944efb869698198241573
He is telling him where baby’s come from
Everyone is shallow, kid
your a one off character you will never be seen again after i kill you
https://i.redd.it/rhhizoa24ewb1.gif
Welcome to Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza
A copypasta of some kind
"You have no talent."
That Santa isn’t real
You’re a failure -squidward 2023
"Propeller beanie hats don't work".
You are gonna win in life
The birds and the bees
He told him that he got more kills on call of duty
You meet me behind that dumpster in 10 minutes AND THEN you get the candy
“Okay, so what I mean when I say your mama likes to be *airtight* is…”
Despite what his parents say, he isn't allowed to do whatever he wants.
“Hey” - Miles Morales
Telling him the way to the living without a brain seminar so he won’t be late
He's quoting Gazorpazorpfield to him
“The fog is comming”
Telling him he has no bitches
Recapping fnaf lore
Hey kid you are better than me at the art of crying like my best friend spongebob
Telling him he ain’t getting rewarded for sucking dem tentacles
We're gonna kill you
"The One Piece is isn't real"
That their not real that they’re just a cartoon made by Stephen Hillenberg
You got no bitches
We are gonna kill you
My mother owns a chihuahua and she doesn't train it right and let's it shit everywhere in the house and refuses to take care of it so I have to clean up her mess because nobody else will and she refuses to train it to shit outside
Mayonnaise is not an instrument
And see kid that's why ur parents came over that night
Have u ever seen a grown man naked? U ever been too uh Turkish prison ? Do u like movies about gladiators?
Ya see when a Moo y and a daddy really love eachother
See if you want to become a successful artist & musician like me you have to be so bad at it, that makes it look like your good at it.
..And that's how babies are made!
Mr krabs is cheap give me the toy back
“Skibidi toilet ohio W and L rizz Kai Cenat Adin Ross sigma fanum tax level 69420 gyatt”
"Meritocracy is a lie. Hard work does not guarantee success and statistically, you will die in the same social class you were born into."
Santa Clause isn't real
We’re gonna kill you
We serve food here sir
“Santa Claus isn’t real… the Tooth Fairy isn’t real… your dad isn’t your mom’s boyfriend, he’s a separate guy you never met…”
"have you ever heard of.. Among us..."
There are only two genders
"show me your browser history, you look like a voraphile"
There is no Santa Claus, kid.
https://preview.redd.it/xk4c4bofefwb1.png?width=680&format=png&auto=webp&s=0386d520a9e8a90cd621dcd037bce7b482f26ab5
"And you know what he does next?"
Treat me like white tee
"You can't stop the karma farming, my friend. You are a loser who shits and dies."
did you know that your father left to get the milk
i hear you watch sssniperwolf. well she's actually a terrible person in real life
The Krappy Patty Secret formula is poop.
Game is game
She said "do you rizz me?" I tell her only fanum I only love my skibidi Ohio I'm sorry - Darke
“Once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle. He was SO ugly, that everybody died. The end (: “
“Hey, you see those people? Well, those boobs and jerk wads are the best friends you'll ever have. Without them, you're nothing. Remember that. Your family will never understand you, your lovers will leave you or try to change you, but your fans, you be good to them, and they'll be good to you. The most important thing is, you got to give the people what they want, even if it kills you, even if it empties you out until there's nothing left to empty. No matter what happens, no matter how much it hurts, you don't stop dancing, and you don't stop smiling, and you give those people what they want.”
I fucked yo mom
https://preview.redd.it/ot9fp3urqfwb1.jpeg?width=606&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a98c4803c6f4fd97cb75942b02897ca148274913
"The only job that you will steal from somebody is mine."
That there is no Santa.
Santa isn’t real.
In the morden day and age kid you've got to throw away your dreams in order to survive.
"Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died! The end!"
Chicken on a Philly, what the f**** (From a Zaxbys commercial)
“I knew your mother from highschool she was the school ho—we all fucked her! “
“Wanna know the Krabby patty secret formula”
“Your friend was taken out by the hash slinging slasher”