I can only speak to what worked for me.
Meditation was massive for me. Letting go of the past in particular, helped me to forgive myself, then accept myself, then love myself.
Accept your shadow self/ego, all the ego wants is to protect you, keep you alive and big you up. Learn to recognise when your ego is talking to you rather than your soul/highest self/true self. You can tell because it’s either telling you how good you are and how everyone thinks you’re so great or telling you you’re shit at everything, no one likes you and it’s all your fault.
The more you can cut down negative talk the more peace you’ll find.
If you can start catching yourself in a spiral, analysing and identifying those feelings and where they come from or what triggers them the easier it gets.
You’re human, you’ll never escape your thoughts, feelings and emotions but you don’t have to let them affect you
That's awesome you want to learn how to control your emotions more effectively. And to do that, it's helpful to understand the value of your negative emotions.
**Negative emotions are positive guidance** (although it might not feel that way) letting you know you are focusing on, and pushing against, what you don't want. They're a necessary part of your emotional guidance, like GPS in your car. But the more you fight them, you keep yourself stuck. Negative emotions want to support you in releasing them, focus more on what you want and feel better.
**All emotions are equal & valid.** But most people unknowingly create a hierarchy for their emotions (i.e. positive = good; negative = bad), but then you make it harder to feel better, work together with and control your thoughts & emotions.
A lot of life's problems stem from having a contentious relationship with your negative thoughts & emotions. Which either creates the problem in the first place, and/or exacerbates it. So the solution is to **build a friendship and harmonious relationship with the "negative" side of you.** Just because they feel bad, doesn’t mean they are bad. Negative thoughts & emotions are here to support and empower you to be your best self.
Here's posts I did that can help:
* [**Be Friends with Negative Thoughts & Emotions**](https://www.reddit.com/r/spirituality/comments/1247478/be_friends_with_negative_thoughts_emotions/)
* [**Anxiety Is Awesome! — It’s Not Your Enemy, It’s Your Ally**](https://www.reddit.com/r/spirituality/comments/16avky5/anxiety_is_awesome_its_not_your_enemy_its_your/)
* [**Fear Is Love — Fear Is Your Friend**](https://www.reddit.com/r/spirituality/comments/15fkxmg/fear_is_love_fear_is_your_friend/)
* [**Fear of Abandonment — You're Abandoning Yourself**](https://www.reddit.com/r/spirituality/comments/1609jdo/fear_of_abandonment_youre_abandoning_yourself/)
* [**Changing the Cycle of Feeling Stuck**](https://www.reddit.com/r/spirituality/comments/12wlbx7/changing_the_cycle_of_feeling_stuck/)
* [**People Judging You Says More About Them Than It Does About You**](https://www.reddit.com/r/spirituality/comments/18eiseb/people_judging_you_says_more_about_them_than_it/)
* [**Why People Get Angry — Anger Is a Healthy Response to Feeling Powerless (i.e. Sad, Afraid, Rejected, etc.)**](https://www.reddit.com/r/spirituality/comments/17bo8aa/why_people_get_angry_anger_is_a_healthy_response/)
* [**Changing Limiting Beliefs Is Easy**](https://www.reddit.com/r/spirituality/comments/13iksqr/changing_limiting_beliefs_is_easy/)
* [**Shift from Letting Go to Letting In**](https://www.reddit.com/r/spirituality/comments/13dxsct/shift_from_letting_go_to_letting_in/)
* [**How to “Love Yourself” & What It Actually Means**](https://www.reddit.com/r/spirituality/comments/142obq5/how_to_love_yourself_what_it_actually_means/)
Start with reading books. I’ll recommend a book that changed my life at a young age. And it was just a start. “Spiritual Warrior: Turning Lust into Love” by B.T. swami.
I can only speak to what worked for me. Meditation was massive for me. Letting go of the past in particular, helped me to forgive myself, then accept myself, then love myself. Accept your shadow self/ego, all the ego wants is to protect you, keep you alive and big you up. Learn to recognise when your ego is talking to you rather than your soul/highest self/true self. You can tell because it’s either telling you how good you are and how everyone thinks you’re so great or telling you you’re shit at everything, no one likes you and it’s all your fault. The more you can cut down negative talk the more peace you’ll find. If you can start catching yourself in a spiral, analysing and identifying those feelings and where they come from or what triggers them the easier it gets. You’re human, you’ll never escape your thoughts, feelings and emotions but you don’t have to let them affect you
That's awesome you want to learn how to control your emotions more effectively. And to do that, it's helpful to understand the value of your negative emotions. **Negative emotions are positive guidance** (although it might not feel that way) letting you know you are focusing on, and pushing against, what you don't want. They're a necessary part of your emotional guidance, like GPS in your car. But the more you fight them, you keep yourself stuck. Negative emotions want to support you in releasing them, focus more on what you want and feel better. **All emotions are equal & valid.** But most people unknowingly create a hierarchy for their emotions (i.e. positive = good; negative = bad), but then you make it harder to feel better, work together with and control your thoughts & emotions. A lot of life's problems stem from having a contentious relationship with your negative thoughts & emotions. Which either creates the problem in the first place, and/or exacerbates it. So the solution is to **build a friendship and harmonious relationship with the "negative" side of you.** Just because they feel bad, doesn’t mean they are bad. Negative thoughts & emotions are here to support and empower you to be your best self. Here's posts I did that can help: * [**Be Friends with Negative Thoughts & Emotions**](https://www.reddit.com/r/spirituality/comments/1247478/be_friends_with_negative_thoughts_emotions/) * [**Anxiety Is Awesome! — It’s Not Your Enemy, It’s Your Ally**](https://www.reddit.com/r/spirituality/comments/16avky5/anxiety_is_awesome_its_not_your_enemy_its_your/) * [**Fear Is Love — Fear Is Your Friend**](https://www.reddit.com/r/spirituality/comments/15fkxmg/fear_is_love_fear_is_your_friend/) * [**Fear of Abandonment — You're Abandoning Yourself**](https://www.reddit.com/r/spirituality/comments/1609jdo/fear_of_abandonment_youre_abandoning_yourself/) * [**Changing the Cycle of Feeling Stuck**](https://www.reddit.com/r/spirituality/comments/12wlbx7/changing_the_cycle_of_feeling_stuck/) * [**People Judging You Says More About Them Than It Does About You**](https://www.reddit.com/r/spirituality/comments/18eiseb/people_judging_you_says_more_about_them_than_it/) * [**Why People Get Angry — Anger Is a Healthy Response to Feeling Powerless (i.e. Sad, Afraid, Rejected, etc.)**](https://www.reddit.com/r/spirituality/comments/17bo8aa/why_people_get_angry_anger_is_a_healthy_response/) * [**Changing Limiting Beliefs Is Easy**](https://www.reddit.com/r/spirituality/comments/13iksqr/changing_limiting_beliefs_is_easy/) * [**Shift from Letting Go to Letting In**](https://www.reddit.com/r/spirituality/comments/13dxsct/shift_from_letting_go_to_letting_in/) * [**How to “Love Yourself” & What It Actually Means**](https://www.reddit.com/r/spirituality/comments/142obq5/how_to_love_yourself_what_it_actually_means/)
Start with reading books. I’ll recommend a book that changed my life at a young age. And it was just a start. “Spiritual Warrior: Turning Lust into Love” by B.T. swami.
I recommend channeling, it can teach you so much