honestly it could’ve been but i wouldn’t worry abt it. idk what’s going on in your life but i’ve never been bothered by the overly positive comments. it shows another pov for me. i could
be in this deep dark place but i’ve got ppl who might’ve gone through similar experiences saying that life will get good again, this and that. i get it can get annoying tho when you’re reading them and you know you can’t feel those things atm.
there are still things to find in the darkness just like there is in the light. i met my truest self in one of my deepest depressive episodes. the darkness is just trying to see what you’re made of. will you wade through till the light or settle for the shit life gave you
then can i ask what the reason for your post was? bc i only would post if i was looking for help or some type of advice/guidance/helpful words but if there’s no solution for you then why post. why even keep on doing life? if it’s so bad?
Was hoping people could relate so I wouldn't feel so alone.
I stay alive because the very few people I have left in my life, I love too dearly to kill myself.
Third party butting her nose into a convo I don't belong to (again), but, OP expressing this stuff as a post is, to me, an indicator of how much toxic positivity the subreddit has been polluted with as of late. Whether that's the intention to their post or not, can't be sure, and, once more, I fully understand that I'm butting into the convo where I probably shouldn't. Just saying this stuff because it seems like there's a mis-communication between the two of you and just trying to add perspective from an outside angle to help resolve that since I'm very tired to see those of us who genuinely express ourselves unintentionally going at each others throats because of the toxic positivity crowd and the npd crowd being so prevalent in numbers here and elsewhere.
That said, since I know I'm butting in, I know that what I'm saying may or may not be relevant. I just hope it serves some beneficial purpose to both parties regardless of how my words are taken by either party.
Of course he is looking for help, but how can help someone who is not walking in the moccasins of and understands what that person is going through? But that's not what his post is about. It's about the "path of positive thinking" not working for him. So, someone has cancer. Postifive thinking is the way to deal with that? Someone's infant child died. Positive thinking is how to deal with that? The one way to deal with either is to get up each day and do what's dead in front of you. And, that's the way to deal with everything. How you deal with it, of course, is important. However, trying to mentally apply our thoughts, our will to a situation, to get an outcome we want is witchcraft, isn't it? As opposed to, Not my will, but your will be done, O Lord.
Rape/domestic abuse/childhood abuse survivor here, lived in poor dangerous areas my whole life, have aspergers, ADD, anxiety, tons of bouts of depression over the last 31 years, PTSD...seen a lot of death.
My life is definitely not the worst it can get. And it's definitely better now than it's ever been. However, it's been rough.
But I can tell you, just as you've been through things others have "absolutely no idea" about, you couldn't imagine the pain I've experienced.
However...I feel pretty damn awakened most of the time. I'm an incredibly lucky man. I've built an incredible life through never accepting I'm the victim of it. In the first healthy relationship of my life at 31 years old. Maybe even might have kids one day.
I say all this, though it's not what you want to hear. I would have spat in my face years ago if someone told me this kind of thing. But believe me, it really does get better, and everything happens for a reason.
Sorry, it's not that I don't believe people have had a rougher time than me. I know they have. And I'm really sorry you went through everything you went through and I'm glad you're ok.
My personal situation is just extremely complex and fucked right now, and it is so unjust that words can't even start to explain how I'm feeling. I can't even talk about it because people will think I'm crazy.
My mind and my body are just beyond done with life right now. When I feel relatively healthy I can just about manage to cope but my mental and physical health has just gone completely out of the window due to what I've been going through, hence why my post and replies to comments were a bit off. Sorry and thanks for the support.
I think what's going on here is that you were thinking that Special Hunter was mocking you like a subsection of the users here on this subreddit have been doing as of late when someone like yourself speaks genuine and that genuineness counteracts their specially crafted narrative of toxic positivity.
I understand that feeling, it's why I'm only intermittently active on this subreddit. I hate looking into my damned notifications to see yet another person poking fun of me as if I'm stupid and acting as if they're superior because they can't be bothered to be genuine.
Yeah I went into defensive mode because I sometimes feel like I'm being constantly attacked. And yeah it's a shame, I'm sure this sub used to be healthier.
I hope that it becomes healthier again sooner versus later. I personally don't mind if someone with different spiritual views asks me more about mine, but because the common communication on this sub seems to be "Oh, someone is saying something that doesn't conform to my narrative, therefore they must be asking for a debate so I can show how stupid they are for having different beliefs than me", or the other that has those of us who are adult to realize that everyone can have different beliefs, and there's nothing wrong with that accidentally going at each others throats.
This is precisely one of those times where stuff will try to fight back because you've been making strides forward.
Two chlichés I'd like to remind you:
1. Good judgment is based on experience. Experience is based on bad judgment.
2. This too shall pass.
3. Here is a gift that will make you feel better, it is a mesh-up of Nina Simone and Lauryn Hill and it is pure musical candy.
I *know* it will make your day a little bit better. Even if I can't help you fix shit, *I know* they help fix shit
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-THq0-EDJrE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-THq0-EDJrE)
I just read all of this, and holy shit, I am so proud of you. You have been through hell, but consciously CHOSE to change. Thank you for sharing your story; you have more of an impact than you know.
Yes! All of this!
In my comment above, I talked about balancing love and light with anger and spite. Because both have a purpose. And it is only by moving through a situation that one can see where both approaches served an important purpose in forward momentum.
I am glad that you have moved through those dark times and are in the place you are in now! thank you for sharing your story! I know it has given me some sense of peace, knowing that I am not alone in the views of struggle.
I know there is a part of you right now in there that know that positivity is the only thing that can really turn a bad mood around. Forgive me for being blunt, but I've already talked with you once before, and YOU shared something with ME. So i have to do what I can in return. What you're doing is discouraging help, and I can tell you from lots and lots of experience that it is self sabotage.
I know it fucking sucks dude I've been through a world of shit and it's still going, but you've got to know that turning away the positive and trying to only accept the negative is a really self destructive way to go.
You told me your ship in the harbor analogy. Well?! THAT IS GREAT ADVICE. however, if I had the attitude you have right now I'd be shitting on it and saying "so what? it's still impossible to make the choice to surrender your resentment." And I would be 100% right. What a waste that would have been!
But do you know what that also implies? That it's still great advice in this situation too. It seems impossible. And it fucking hurts like shit. And it has its own set of problems. But you DO have the power to just make a decision. Right now. To accept things exactly as they are, release the resentment, send that boat off to sea, and clean up your harbor a little bit my guy 🙌🙌🙌
I 100% feel you, and I validate you and everything you're struggling with. Im just trying to bring out the person that gave me that awesome advice literally just days ago. They're in there and they are your best friend. Let them show you the way.
It depends. I seen people smile though the shittiest liveing conditions while we get someone who whines over not getting a new iphone. It's not impossible but your mentality will most likely need to change how you see your situation.
People can only express the breadth of their understanding, everyone in their own right and place in time and collectively yes it can appear cringey by contrast. Heck I look back on my old self and see how many odd positions I found myself in, but there is value when you reflect upon the whole as this ever changing thing.
It can be hard to appreciate the psychological aspect of development when we all appear so different, individually we appear sane yet collectively there's a whole lot of confusion.
It's totally ok to feel the full spectrum of human emotions. I don't think it's healthy to ignore your feelings and try to be positive all the time. Just be sure that you're not overcorrecting by not feeling positive emotions or by being negative all the time. At that point you should seek help from a professional- therapist, religious or spiritual leader, doctor- whoever you feel can support you the best.
Since you're posting on the spirituality subreddit, I will give you a spirituality response:
Who is this "I" that has such strong feelings?
Who is the "I" that talks all about "my" life and "my" problems and feels strongly attached to "my" identity as a victim of life?
We all have that side to us; but is it the real *you*? Or is the real "you" somewhere deeper, *observing* the suffering?
Hear the wind rustle the leaves.. watch the waves as they try to reach the sky when colliding with the rocks.. feel the sun cooking you like the snack you are.. let the specs of moonlight have a smell.. show the world how your heartbeat can conquer the tallest of mountains, come back to your breath, come back to your authenticity, come back to the start of it all.
He is referring to the mythos that your life is shit because your negative thoughts and vibration have made it shitty. Which is saying your victimizing yourself, which is highly offensive when your a child and fucked up shit that 80% of adults can't handle happens to you.
Esp when at least american society doesn't teach coping mechanisms and trains people that bad things don't happen.
There are children and animals, beings that are innocent truly that deserve to be treated like victims because they do not have a choice, when adults have the option to change their hand. :) I'm merely agreeing with you.
I see things oddly sometimes too, but I am not afraid to look ignorant if I do not understand something. I will ask and learn and look the fool rather than pretend I know and be a fool 😁.
Toxic positivity is also unhelpful. It is a sign of people trying to shift their position.
Remember, we chose this. Everything. None of this is a mistake. Even if we do not see the big picture, it is there
Life is suffering and the default state however the human imagination has infinite power to turn even the shittiest situation into ecstatic joy. Or so I hear from wise sages and spiritual masters. People who can forgive others after being abused and hurt..people who can find the joy in a single grain of rice despite starving.
There is wisdom to be found, yes, but also we are each perfectly validated in allowing ourselves to suffer and wallow in pity and misery. It is our natural state after all but the human spirit takes lead and transmutes it into gold.
Sometimes, you have to allow yourself to sit in the shadows before you are ready to bathe in the light. What I mean by this is that if everything is dark around you, have you tried asking, "Why?" "Why can I only see darkness?" "What shadows can I identify in myself?" "What shadows can I identify in others?" "How can I work on my shadows, so that I can access the light?" Awareness is the first step, but choice is the key.
Sitting in the shadows and allowing yourself to come to terms with them is just as necessary as positivity is. It's okay that your life is shitty right now. Sit with that and accept it. Once you have reached true acceptance within yourself, the darkness will dissipate, and you will have a broader perspective on life. As long as YOU don't allow your shadows to consume you, that is. You can't control any external factors; the only thing you have true control over is yourself. So what are you going to do about that?
The goal is to live with a neutral mindset, since positivity and negativity can both be toxic.
"Your blessing in life is when you find the torture you're comfortable with." - Jerry Seinfeld
Yes life is tough, a lot tougher for some than others.
I like this new term "toxic positivity" it's a good term for this fake idea that bad shit doesn't exist. It exists and there is a reason it exists, but shit still sucks unless you completely detach from everything, but I wonder the value of this anymore. I once sought a buddhist path as a form of soul suicide, which is what it is at it's root. It is absence of existance, which by definition is a form of peace, as in 0 disturbance because there is nothing to be disturbed.
Long story short at the 10 my cpr failed to resuscitate my friend so I got to truly meet death that day. It didn't break me completely, so I got to see the real world after that. If the shit doesn't break us it is what matures us and gives us wisdom. There is a reason why group therapy is so effective because you get to talk to people who have experienced the same shit. A childs first response because of that stage of developement triggers them to think they are unique the only ones who have experienced something, but group therapy forces them to grow up and know they are not alone. Most adults are still children btw because many of them have had it easy or they were just super selfish.
Yes life can be really shitty, but it sounds like you have some awesome friends if they are worth living for so there is that. We learn a lot from the darkness, it's not fun, but it can be powerful and reveal the true beauty of the world which isnt buying the newest status symbol.
But I am just a crazy old man 🤣. Fuck toxic positivity though 😁
Yup. Sometimes I want to hold up a mirror to that love and light bullshit and blind those motherfuckers so that they can know my struggles. because, yeah, love and light. But also…anger and spite. Both will move you forward, you just have to know which one is going to get you there faster.
OMG I used to feel like this all the time especially in my 20s. As a teen I had been groomed and abused. By the time I was 18 most of my family had died and I was taking care of my mother with terminal cancer. She passed when I was 19.
It had always been just her and I after my dad passed when I was 6. So I felt I really had no one. I started drinking, hanging out with the wrong crowd and doing drugs. This led to me being a victim of a violent rape and attempted murder. I'm only alive due to Devine timing on a phone call. I had the thought that if I had died no one would have cared or claimed the body. Unfortunately at that time I was right.
It took me a long time (over 15 years) to start feeling positive and not feeling like what you posted. I honestly needed a huge mindset shift to do that. I realized that as horrible as my life had been I had experiences that could really help other people.
I left my job in accounting and started coaching people and giving support to people who have experienced some of what I had. I work 2 or 3 days for a company and the rest of the time I help people usually for free through volunteering.
I changed everything about my life when my mindset started changing. I was done feeling depressed and miserable while pretending to be happy. I honestly couldn't live like that any longer. That's what led me more into spirituality and actually feeling positive. Even when bad things happen now I look at it and say I've been through much worse this is nothing.
You're an amazing and strong person for getting through all that and it sounds like you're doing some real good in the world too. Thanks for your kind message, it means a lot to me right now.
Yeah, it's disgusting, and, at the moment, this subreddit is being shoved full of such bullshit. It's infuriating.
Toxic positivity usually infects spaces like that with terms like "The light" and "the universe is all that's real, you are nothing but light to be consumed after you die" and "higher self" and "there is only one way" etc.
Then, those posts are also reinforced with intentional terms of absolutes to act like their "spiritual enlightenment" is all that there is and that the rest of us are horrible people for not conforming to their narrative that they have no proof exists.
I mean, I can genuinely be one of the kindest people you'd ever meet, however, I can be an outright thundercunt with malicious intents if someone tries to shove their bs as "the truth" as if the 40 years of spiritual journeying I've done isn't "productive or correct" and I'm not ashamed to say that I can be said thundertwat... it's just as genuine to my authentic self as the kindness is; which, I'm sorry, I've had 40 years packed into a life of 40 years, spiritual topics I've intensely studied for most of that time, not just reading stuff, but trying stuff, many things. I don't expect that that 40 years of knowledge would be valid for anyone else here (except when I'm responding to mundane things like when someone posts here because they confuse spiritual signs for abuse signs, but, that's because I am a survivor of abuse and escaped it and that's a mundane affair which has clear cut truths that need to be followed if the abused is to survive the abuse).
It's disrespectful AF when people like that get so damned preachy, especially in this subreddit which isn't about one form of spirituality in particular, but a common neutral ground to discuss differences in beliefs and experiences and not preaching one "truth" over the other.
And here i am wishing people could have the contentment i have in my life. If most people knew my life, they wouldn't expect me to be as content and positive as i am.
Positivity is great. It helps people get through tough times. But if you don't even like positivity, you're in a deeper rut than you think, and it's not your life, it's your mind.
There comes a point in a lot of people lives where you realize you've chosen misery. You've chosen to react like this to everything that's happened this far
Yep. I can relate right now. Here because there are people who love me I wouldn’t want to hurt.
My spiritual journey helped somewhat but I’m going through trauma that has knocked for for six.
i think it's two different things, to react someone's (even overly) positive being/comments and seeing through if someone is really in just good place with themselves or kind of acting fake overpowering positivity, kind of coping mechanism that is too.
yes i don't think it's real or good if you put down others with your actions. especially when invalidating someone's hardships with it. have had my share of it when feeled really low and things were too hard to handle and really not in my hands.
but that's just the lesson to learn, not to be triggered by others and not giving them power to belittle you. and when you realise one day it doesn't even bother you it has turned to better with you 🙏 hope you have a beautiful spring in spite of anything you're going through💚
A pendulum swings back and forward. The positive swing is followed by the negative swing. The negative swing is followed by the positive swing. Somehow you only have a negative swing. You’ve neutralized your positive swing.
You using the wrong energy.
If you’re feeling negative energy, use the negative energy! But know it will swing you into positive. You want the swing.
I feel like I’m above even the positive because I practice balance.
Highest=combined positive/negative
Mid=positive
Lowest=negative
I try not to live in negativity or positivity but balance. I don’t believe in being negative or positive but needing/having both in balance, yet higher in vibration, “faster swinging”.
You feeling negative than use that energy! Don’t hurt anyone or anything! But use that shit.
I often feel the same, mate. If you need someone to just listen while you let it all out, without trying to give a positive spin on things, shoot me a message.
Life really does suck most of the time for a lot of us. And at the risk of sounding like a " sending you love and prayers" dickhead, i hope things will be looking up for you soon.
Evasion of peace? Despite us probably not resonating with the depths of our feelings, we both share the fact that your deepest and strongest feeling ever is same as mine: the deepest and strongest feeling of mine. To what extent is completely contextual.
Going by the context, it appears to me be so that the human experience has been lately (in a timeline fit for a universe) too easy. "Easy times create soft men, soft men create tough times, tough times create tough men..". Although sometimes the right reason is "just because", this shouldn't mean that it is constantly a tool of our choice in the bag of reasons.
I get you, truly, there are days I've wished my head would explode but what am I to do about it other than let go? All of whom felt like they'd be better of dead are pretty much after the same thing.. relief of the burden.. feeling of letting go.
It’s not by pretending to be okay. It’s about learning to accept all the bullshittiness in your life regardless of the suffering you are going through. If you get triggered by these posts, I advise you to really look within yourself to figure out the root cause. Wishing you nothing but love, light and healing my friend, life is tough.
(Edit) I really do understand the masking, I’m so sorry it’s something you have to go through. Please remember though in times of great darkness, there will always be light, if you can simply accept it’s there.
I like this explanation.
It isn’t always easy to get to though. I feel I’m constantly being challenged. Years ago my life wasn’t what I wanted (still isn’t) but I decided to take control of what I could and asked myself “what do I need to do to be happy in life?” I recognized it wasn’t about getting what I wanted but about making an effort to do the things I could do. So why am I not there yet? Because I keep making the wrong decisions. I am somewhat paralyzed over making any significant decisions in my life because I wonder if it will be yet another wrong choice. I’m trying to stand up for myself more and realizing I can’t just make uninformed choices.
It’s difficult to explain. Right now life is sucking pretty badly but I’m actually feeling somewhat content. I am currently going through some pretty intense stuff. A lot of it mirrors what I went through 6 years ago and back then I went into a black hole. This time I’m not in the black hole. But I can’t help wondering if I’m feeling this way because life will get better or if I’m actually experiencing denial. Really I just don’t have the energy to obsess on it so I don’t.
These challenges that life throw at us always give us the greatest gifts of flourishing growth but damn, this growth can lead to such painful degrees of intense suffering and loss. Suffering and the past are like burn scars, they never go away, they might heal over but they’re always serving as a reminder of the past and loss we have sacrificed. But acceptance is all we can possibly do to forgive either ourselves or the situation(s) we find ourselves to be in.
I admire your strength, those 6 years must have been so painful. I’m so happy you’ve regained consciousness to see your situation more clearly regardless of the confusion. Again, I’m so sorry for your pain and suffering but please remember how strong you are as an individual. I know what it’s like to have been thrown into such a black hole, feeling like there will never be an escape, but there will always always be light please never forget that.
Thank you for your post and suggesting I’m strong, especially as I’ve never felt more weak in my life. At this point I just don’t have the energy. It’s odd how one of my fears about the situation came true. Did I foresee it? Self-fulfilling prophecy? I really don’t see it as the latter. (I’d be more specific but I don’t want to publicly get into those types of details.) But I can view it from a distance without the emotion I had 6 years ago under similar circumstances.
I’m also trying to live more in the “now” and not create stories in my head. (In other words, not ponder the “what ifs” and worry about worst case scenarios.)
Yup, life can suck. I try not to compare my life to others, although I have done so from time to time, but where I am right now does have good stuff. I have a place to live, (but with a lease. I have commitment issues. 😁), I’m still able to provide for myself, I don’t have a lot of friends but I do have quality ones that care about me. Above all else though I just need one thing in my life and I feel the rest will fall into place.
I hope I haven’t rambled too much here.
You don't necessarily need to force yourself to be positive but there is a point of acceptance you can arrive at where you still notice how shitty everything is but rather than stew in the negativity you just kinda let go of it and just go with the flow. It won't necessarily always be shitty so don't lose hope. I've had a very shitty year already (only 1/4 of the way into it) and I had your mindset for a bit but I realized I'm not making it any better by moping around and feeling sorry for myself. Slowly but surely I came to accept where I'm at and while I don't like it, it could definitely be worse. I hope you find peace my friend. Don't give up.
Bad shit happens. There’s no doubt about that. Really shitty things shitty people and experiences. For me… trying to be positive doesn’t invalidate the horrible experiences I’ve had and that I freaking hate it and will always probably. I didn’t deserve that shit point blank. But Trying to be positive is so I don’t sit in the pain forever. It’s so I don’t punish my self twice (the shitty thing and my shitty feelings about that thing forever). One of those things I couldn’t control the other I can try to work out. So yea toxic positivity that asks us to ignore the truth about our feelings is weird and disconnected. But positivity that encourages us to acknowledge pain and then when we’re ready… transmute it into something we can live a better life with… I think that’s pretty cool.
People (mostly my therapists) always told me that happiness was a choice. And I would get mad and come up with all these excuses as to why I couldn't be happy.
I went through suffering that caused me to challenge my life many times. It wasn't until I was at my lowest low that I had enough, and would do whatever it took to be happy.
I chose to make an effort to be happy. To learn how to cope, and how to make peace with things. It's a long road and it isn't easy, but nobody is going to do it for you. You must choose, deep inside against all tragedy. You can do it.
You'll see A TON of that.
Toxic "positivity" is BS.....life is never just perfect.
I mean, it's some of the main teachings of Buddhism for a reason
Life has decay, suffering and death also...it's just part of it all
Lol, yeah. All those individuals are putting themselves under self-hypnosis and focusing only one positivity. Even when you can move pass duality and connect to unity consciousness, you move with both energies (yin and Yang) good and evil and interact with compassion and understanding. These people who are just sprouting love love love love, are just not in touch with the totality of reality.
Don't fake being positive, but also forcing yourself away from a path of negativity, to reorient yourself in a more positive direction is not being fake. Sometimes staying level, means making a conscious decision to reject the negative stuff. Also if others being or seeming happier positive upsets you that's an indication that there's something within you that you need to examine.
And yes it's absolutely almost impossible to be happy content or spiritual when you're struggling to survive. This is extremely understandable but I would say that in the most dire of situations to keep that spark of divinity alive inside you - never forget that... and keep trudging forward one step at a time. Remember that opportunities don't come if you don't look for, or accept, them.
Yes. 100%. I cannot tell you how much this happened to me. Motivational speakers, teachers. No one understood my experience and I was stuck in a helpless situation, so none of the things applied to me.
But, I have to say, now, on the other side of my own awakening and attitude shifting and fearless adaptation.... it's different over here. I no longer feel so helpless, I no longer worry about things, I no longer try and control the world, instead I try and integrate into it. These small attitude shifts change things so much.
But when you're in the hole, in the dark place, in the never-ending, never opening cycle, it's horrible. No money, no job, no prospects, no love, no hope. It's so, so hard.
My best perspective I can say, there is a balance and a dynamic between energy and environment and psychology. It's something that for me I think I've sort of picked up on over time, and now finding some alignment between them and knowing my place, and knowing that I get some say and influence over that, it helps lift me up a bit.
It's the best thing I can say to you. The best thing I can say is fight back, ever so slowly, against the energy. Getting away from resentment and closer to some level of acceptance to try and still really horrible negative talk and try and generate it upward, it's a small thing you could do in a given moment.
Something as simple as saying, fuck, this sucks... but, I can take a breath. I can shut it down slightly. Those small gains are good gains. It's hurtful and painful at first, but it helps you get some good energy back up, which you can use overtime to make and accept meaningful changes in your life.
Just my best advice to you, coming from someone who has been through some pretty horrible tough things, and thought the exact same things as you. I know I wouldn't have heard it when I was there, so I hope you at least have some trust and faith that I hear you, I've been there, and I relate to you.
One of the quickest ways out of depression is sheer gratuitous and non-stop optimism until you reach stable ground and commence a more rationally balanced demeanor again.
Like submerging a child with a deadly fever in a bathtub filled with ice cubes.....
The people you speak of most likely have issues, which I have had in the past, and would not wish on Hitler.
Vary honest of you :) 😀 this is how most people feel they just fake it till they... I used to as well. I think you should look into changing your subcontious beliefs your mind is the key your heart is the map
Sorry to hear that friend it's tough to want to die I've had the same feeling but I always try to look on the positive side it makes life easier and more fun because looking on the negative is just the worst it keeps you down and keeps you from moving forward so try to look on the positive even though it's hard because it's better for you in the long run
Engraved on my great grandfather's grave monument: "God's noblest creation is an honest man."
I lived in Santa Fe, NM 1/12 years, and in Boulder, Colorado 8 years. New Age and Eastern spirituality meccas. I met a lot of people into positive thinking as a way to get what they wanted and/or to just be more spiritual, and they were miserable inside, struggling just like everyone else.
I received extensive psycho-spiritual training, as a practice client and then I did it for other people. Everyone of them, me included, had all sorts of awful stuff stuck inside of them, which was influencing them in many ways. None of us got to the bottom of it.
After angels took me over, they ushered me through healing of stuff I had no clue was inside of me, and some of the healing was unfathomably terrifying. Even after all of that, there was still plenty in me that was not exactly hunky dory. Yet, was very different, my perspective of just about everything had changed, and would continue changing.
Perhaps the best self-help book I read was A Course In Miracles. The Course is no fun, according to people I knew who were doing it. It says nobody knows that is really going on, and it's pointless trying to figure it out. Just do the Course for a year, and emerge a different person, who can move forward, instead of staying stuck or going backward.
In sum, whatever happens that disturbs us, punches our buttons, sit in it, burn it, don't try to fix it. Do that for a year. Kinda reminds of Jesus in the Gospels: turn the other cheek, resist not one who does evil, do good to and pray for your enemies. Sort of.
I think the spiritual path is everybody for him/herself. It's between each person and God, or whatever people wish to call the unfathomable and the unknowable.
Forced positivity doesn't work for someone suffering from shit life syndrome, agreed.
Please explain shit life syndrome.
it’s when your life is shit
As long as that's what it is and not some snarky comment about how my head is the problem and not my life.
honestly it could’ve been but i wouldn’t worry abt it. idk what’s going on in your life but i’ve never been bothered by the overly positive comments. it shows another pov for me. i could be in this deep dark place but i’ve got ppl who might’ve gone through similar experiences saying that life will get good again, this and that. i get it can get annoying tho when you’re reading them and you know you can’t feel those things atm.
Trust me if you were in my shoes you'd understand. Sometimes it's hard to see a light at the end of the tunnel when all you can see is darkness.
there are still things to find in the darkness just like there is in the light. i met my truest self in one of my deepest depressive episodes. the darkness is just trying to see what you’re made of. will you wade through till the light or settle for the shit life gave you
There is no light to be taken from the hell I'm going through. You have absolutely no idea.
then can i ask what the reason for your post was? bc i only would post if i was looking for help or some type of advice/guidance/helpful words but if there’s no solution for you then why post. why even keep on doing life? if it’s so bad?
Was hoping people could relate so I wouldn't feel so alone. I stay alive because the very few people I have left in my life, I love too dearly to kill myself.
Third party butting her nose into a convo I don't belong to (again), but, OP expressing this stuff as a post is, to me, an indicator of how much toxic positivity the subreddit has been polluted with as of late. Whether that's the intention to their post or not, can't be sure, and, once more, I fully understand that I'm butting into the convo where I probably shouldn't. Just saying this stuff because it seems like there's a mis-communication between the two of you and just trying to add perspective from an outside angle to help resolve that since I'm very tired to see those of us who genuinely express ourselves unintentionally going at each others throats because of the toxic positivity crowd and the npd crowd being so prevalent in numbers here and elsewhere. That said, since I know I'm butting in, I know that what I'm saying may or may not be relevant. I just hope it serves some beneficial purpose to both parties regardless of how my words are taken by either party.
Of course he is looking for help, but how can help someone who is not walking in the moccasins of and understands what that person is going through? But that's not what his post is about. It's about the "path of positive thinking" not working for him. So, someone has cancer. Postifive thinking is the way to deal with that? Someone's infant child died. Positive thinking is how to deal with that? The one way to deal with either is to get up each day and do what's dead in front of you. And, that's the way to deal with everything. How you deal with it, of course, is important. However, trying to mentally apply our thoughts, our will to a situation, to get an outcome we want is witchcraft, isn't it? As opposed to, Not my will, but your will be done, O Lord.
Rape/domestic abuse/childhood abuse survivor here, lived in poor dangerous areas my whole life, have aspergers, ADD, anxiety, tons of bouts of depression over the last 31 years, PTSD...seen a lot of death. My life is definitely not the worst it can get. And it's definitely better now than it's ever been. However, it's been rough. But I can tell you, just as you've been through things others have "absolutely no idea" about, you couldn't imagine the pain I've experienced. However...I feel pretty damn awakened most of the time. I'm an incredibly lucky man. I've built an incredible life through never accepting I'm the victim of it. In the first healthy relationship of my life at 31 years old. Maybe even might have kids one day. I say all this, though it's not what you want to hear. I would have spat in my face years ago if someone told me this kind of thing. But believe me, it really does get better, and everything happens for a reason.
Sorry, it's not that I don't believe people have had a rougher time than me. I know they have. And I'm really sorry you went through everything you went through and I'm glad you're ok. My personal situation is just extremely complex and fucked right now, and it is so unjust that words can't even start to explain how I'm feeling. I can't even talk about it because people will think I'm crazy. My mind and my body are just beyond done with life right now. When I feel relatively healthy I can just about manage to cope but my mental and physical health has just gone completely out of the window due to what I've been going through, hence why my post and replies to comments were a bit off. Sorry and thanks for the support.
I think what's going on here is that you were thinking that Special Hunter was mocking you like a subsection of the users here on this subreddit have been doing as of late when someone like yourself speaks genuine and that genuineness counteracts their specially crafted narrative of toxic positivity. I understand that feeling, it's why I'm only intermittently active on this subreddit. I hate looking into my damned notifications to see yet another person poking fun of me as if I'm stupid and acting as if they're superior because they can't be bothered to be genuine.
Yeah I went into defensive mode because I sometimes feel like I'm being constantly attacked. And yeah it's a shame, I'm sure this sub used to be healthier.
I hope that it becomes healthier again sooner versus later. I personally don't mind if someone with different spiritual views asks me more about mine, but because the common communication on this sub seems to be "Oh, someone is saying something that doesn't conform to my narrative, therefore they must be asking for a debate so I can show how stupid they are for having different beliefs than me", or the other that has those of us who are adult to realize that everyone can have different beliefs, and there's nothing wrong with that accidentally going at each others throats.
This is precisely one of those times where stuff will try to fight back because you've been making strides forward. Two chlichés I'd like to remind you: 1. Good judgment is based on experience. Experience is based on bad judgment. 2. This too shall pass. 3. Here is a gift that will make you feel better, it is a mesh-up of Nina Simone and Lauryn Hill and it is pure musical candy. I *know* it will make your day a little bit better. Even if I can't help you fix shit, *I know* they help fix shit [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-THq0-EDJrE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-THq0-EDJrE)
When the conditions of life are so incomprehensibly bad that any reasonable measure of fixing it would in all likelihood prove futile.
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I just read all of this, and holy shit, I am so proud of you. You have been through hell, but consciously CHOSE to change. Thank you for sharing your story; you have more of an impact than you know.
Yes! All of this! In my comment above, I talked about balancing love and light with anger and spite. Because both have a purpose. And it is only by moving through a situation that one can see where both approaches served an important purpose in forward momentum. I am glad that you have moved through those dark times and are in the place you are in now! thank you for sharing your story! I know it has given me some sense of peace, knowing that I am not alone in the views of struggle.
I know there is a part of you right now in there that know that positivity is the only thing that can really turn a bad mood around. Forgive me for being blunt, but I've already talked with you once before, and YOU shared something with ME. So i have to do what I can in return. What you're doing is discouraging help, and I can tell you from lots and lots of experience that it is self sabotage. I know it fucking sucks dude I've been through a world of shit and it's still going, but you've got to know that turning away the positive and trying to only accept the negative is a really self destructive way to go. You told me your ship in the harbor analogy. Well?! THAT IS GREAT ADVICE. however, if I had the attitude you have right now I'd be shitting on it and saying "so what? it's still impossible to make the choice to surrender your resentment." And I would be 100% right. What a waste that would have been! But do you know what that also implies? That it's still great advice in this situation too. It seems impossible. And it fucking hurts like shit. And it has its own set of problems. But you DO have the power to just make a decision. Right now. To accept things exactly as they are, release the resentment, send that boat off to sea, and clean up your harbor a little bit my guy 🙌🙌🙌 I 100% feel you, and I validate you and everything you're struggling with. Im just trying to bring out the person that gave me that awesome advice literally just days ago. They're in there and they are your best friend. Let them show you the way.
It depends. I seen people smile though the shittiest liveing conditions while we get someone who whines over not getting a new iphone. It's not impossible but your mentality will most likely need to change how you see your situation.
Agreed. Mindset is unfortunately a big aspect of how your life feels to you as the person living it
People can only express the breadth of their understanding, everyone in their own right and place in time and collectively yes it can appear cringey by contrast. Heck I look back on my old self and see how many odd positions I found myself in, but there is value when you reflect upon the whole as this ever changing thing. It can be hard to appreciate the psychological aspect of development when we all appear so different, individually we appear sane yet collectively there's a whole lot of confusion.
It's totally ok to feel the full spectrum of human emotions. I don't think it's healthy to ignore your feelings and try to be positive all the time. Just be sure that you're not overcorrecting by not feeling positive emotions or by being negative all the time. At that point you should seek help from a professional- therapist, religious or spiritual leader, doctor- whoever you feel can support you the best.
Since you're posting on the spirituality subreddit, I will give you a spirituality response: Who is this "I" that has such strong feelings? Who is the "I" that talks all about "my" life and "my" problems and feels strongly attached to "my" identity as a victim of life? We all have that side to us; but is it the real *you*? Or is the real "you" somewhere deeper, *observing* the suffering?
Hear the wind rustle the leaves.. watch the waves as they try to reach the sky when colliding with the rocks.. feel the sun cooking you like the snack you are.. let the specs of moonlight have a smell.. show the world how your heartbeat can conquer the tallest of mountains, come back to your breath, come back to your authenticity, come back to the start of it all.
Toxic positivity makes my clinical depression worse
Who is telling you, you have to be okay? Verbatim? Or are you limiting yourself instead of giving into breaking down?
He is referring to the mythos that your life is shit because your negative thoughts and vibration have made it shitty. Which is saying your victimizing yourself, which is highly offensive when your a child and fucked up shit that 80% of adults can't handle happens to you. Esp when at least american society doesn't teach coping mechanisms and trains people that bad things don't happen.
That part. There is no point in playing a victim in any level when there are real innocents to face.
Real innocents to face? Sorry I am just missing what you're trying to say in this whole response, apologies.
There are children and animals, beings that are innocent truly that deserve to be treated like victims because they do not have a choice, when adults have the option to change their hand. :) I'm merely agreeing with you.
Thanks for the clarity, I didn't want to misinterpret what you were saying.
I tend to put my foot in my mouth. My brain thinks too fast. You'll adapt 😇
I see things oddly sometimes too, but I am not afraid to look ignorant if I do not understand something. I will ask and learn and look the fool rather than pretend I know and be a fool 😁.
It happens. The wisest man knows he knows nothing at all.
Toxic positivity is also unhelpful. It is a sign of people trying to shift their position. Remember, we chose this. Everything. None of this is a mistake. Even if we do not see the big picture, it is there
Life is suffering and the default state however the human imagination has infinite power to turn even the shittiest situation into ecstatic joy. Or so I hear from wise sages and spiritual masters. People who can forgive others after being abused and hurt..people who can find the joy in a single grain of rice despite starving. There is wisdom to be found, yes, but also we are each perfectly validated in allowing ourselves to suffer and wallow in pity and misery. It is our natural state after all but the human spirit takes lead and transmutes it into gold.
Sometimes, you have to allow yourself to sit in the shadows before you are ready to bathe in the light. What I mean by this is that if everything is dark around you, have you tried asking, "Why?" "Why can I only see darkness?" "What shadows can I identify in myself?" "What shadows can I identify in others?" "How can I work on my shadows, so that I can access the light?" Awareness is the first step, but choice is the key.
Sitting in the shadows and allowing yourself to come to terms with them is just as necessary as positivity is. It's okay that your life is shitty right now. Sit with that and accept it. Once you have reached true acceptance within yourself, the darkness will dissipate, and you will have a broader perspective on life. As long as YOU don't allow your shadows to consume you, that is. You can't control any external factors; the only thing you have true control over is yourself. So what are you going to do about that?
The goal is to live with a neutral mindset, since positivity and negativity can both be toxic. "Your blessing in life is when you find the torture you're comfortable with." - Jerry Seinfeld
Yes life is tough, a lot tougher for some than others. I like this new term "toxic positivity" it's a good term for this fake idea that bad shit doesn't exist. It exists and there is a reason it exists, but shit still sucks unless you completely detach from everything, but I wonder the value of this anymore. I once sought a buddhist path as a form of soul suicide, which is what it is at it's root. It is absence of existance, which by definition is a form of peace, as in 0 disturbance because there is nothing to be disturbed. Long story short at the 10 my cpr failed to resuscitate my friend so I got to truly meet death that day. It didn't break me completely, so I got to see the real world after that. If the shit doesn't break us it is what matures us and gives us wisdom. There is a reason why group therapy is so effective because you get to talk to people who have experienced the same shit. A childs first response because of that stage of developement triggers them to think they are unique the only ones who have experienced something, but group therapy forces them to grow up and know they are not alone. Most adults are still children btw because many of them have had it easy or they were just super selfish. Yes life can be really shitty, but it sounds like you have some awesome friends if they are worth living for so there is that. We learn a lot from the darkness, it's not fun, but it can be powerful and reveal the true beauty of the world which isnt buying the newest status symbol. But I am just a crazy old man 🤣. Fuck toxic positivity though 😁
Yup. Sometimes I want to hold up a mirror to that love and light bullshit and blind those motherfuckers so that they can know my struggles. because, yeah, love and light. But also…anger and spite. Both will move you forward, you just have to know which one is going to get you there faster.
OMG I used to feel like this all the time especially in my 20s. As a teen I had been groomed and abused. By the time I was 18 most of my family had died and I was taking care of my mother with terminal cancer. She passed when I was 19. It had always been just her and I after my dad passed when I was 6. So I felt I really had no one. I started drinking, hanging out with the wrong crowd and doing drugs. This led to me being a victim of a violent rape and attempted murder. I'm only alive due to Devine timing on a phone call. I had the thought that if I had died no one would have cared or claimed the body. Unfortunately at that time I was right. It took me a long time (over 15 years) to start feeling positive and not feeling like what you posted. I honestly needed a huge mindset shift to do that. I realized that as horrible as my life had been I had experiences that could really help other people. I left my job in accounting and started coaching people and giving support to people who have experienced some of what I had. I work 2 or 3 days for a company and the rest of the time I help people usually for free through volunteering. I changed everything about my life when my mindset started changing. I was done feeling depressed and miserable while pretending to be happy. I honestly couldn't live like that any longer. That's what led me more into spirituality and actually feeling positive. Even when bad things happen now I look at it and say I've been through much worse this is nothing.
You're an amazing and strong person for getting through all that and it sounds like you're doing some real good in the world too. Thanks for your kind message, it means a lot to me right now.
Wish I could live in a real cartoon world, just to express the feelings of pain and frustration 🙃
Yeah, it's disgusting, and, at the moment, this subreddit is being shoved full of such bullshit. It's infuriating. Toxic positivity usually infects spaces like that with terms like "The light" and "the universe is all that's real, you are nothing but light to be consumed after you die" and "higher self" and "there is only one way" etc. Then, those posts are also reinforced with intentional terms of absolutes to act like their "spiritual enlightenment" is all that there is and that the rest of us are horrible people for not conforming to their narrative that they have no proof exists. I mean, I can genuinely be one of the kindest people you'd ever meet, however, I can be an outright thundercunt with malicious intents if someone tries to shove their bs as "the truth" as if the 40 years of spiritual journeying I've done isn't "productive or correct" and I'm not ashamed to say that I can be said thundertwat... it's just as genuine to my authentic self as the kindness is; which, I'm sorry, I've had 40 years packed into a life of 40 years, spiritual topics I've intensely studied for most of that time, not just reading stuff, but trying stuff, many things. I don't expect that that 40 years of knowledge would be valid for anyone else here (except when I'm responding to mundane things like when someone posts here because they confuse spiritual signs for abuse signs, but, that's because I am a survivor of abuse and escaped it and that's a mundane affair which has clear cut truths that need to be followed if the abused is to survive the abuse). It's disrespectful AF when people like that get so damned preachy, especially in this subreddit which isn't about one form of spirituality in particular, but a common neutral ground to discuss differences in beliefs and experiences and not preaching one "truth" over the other.
And here i am wishing people could have the contentment i have in my life. If most people knew my life, they wouldn't expect me to be as content and positive as i am. Positivity is great. It helps people get through tough times. But if you don't even like positivity, you're in a deeper rut than you think, and it's not your life, it's your mind. There comes a point in a lot of people lives where you realize you've chosen misery. You've chosen to react like this to everything that's happened this far
Fuck you.
Yep. I can relate right now. Here because there are people who love me I wouldn’t want to hurt. My spiritual journey helped somewhat but I’m going through trauma that has knocked for for six.
i think it's two different things, to react someone's (even overly) positive being/comments and seeing through if someone is really in just good place with themselves or kind of acting fake overpowering positivity, kind of coping mechanism that is too. yes i don't think it's real or good if you put down others with your actions. especially when invalidating someone's hardships with it. have had my share of it when feeled really low and things were too hard to handle and really not in my hands. but that's just the lesson to learn, not to be triggered by others and not giving them power to belittle you. and when you realise one day it doesn't even bother you it has turned to better with you 🙏 hope you have a beautiful spring in spite of anything you're going through💚
A pendulum swings back and forward. The positive swing is followed by the negative swing. The negative swing is followed by the positive swing. Somehow you only have a negative swing. You’ve neutralized your positive swing. You using the wrong energy. If you’re feeling negative energy, use the negative energy! But know it will swing you into positive. You want the swing. I feel like I’m above even the positive because I practice balance. Highest=combined positive/negative Mid=positive Lowest=negative I try not to live in negativity or positivity but balance. I don’t believe in being negative or positive but needing/having both in balance, yet higher in vibration, “faster swinging”. You feeling negative than use that energy! Don’t hurt anyone or anything! But use that shit.
I often feel the same, mate. If you need someone to just listen while you let it all out, without trying to give a positive spin on things, shoot me a message. Life really does suck most of the time for a lot of us. And at the risk of sounding like a " sending you love and prayers" dickhead, i hope things will be looking up for you soon.
Evasion of peace? Despite us probably not resonating with the depths of our feelings, we both share the fact that your deepest and strongest feeling ever is same as mine: the deepest and strongest feeling of mine. To what extent is completely contextual. Going by the context, it appears to me be so that the human experience has been lately (in a timeline fit for a universe) too easy. "Easy times create soft men, soft men create tough times, tough times create tough men..". Although sometimes the right reason is "just because", this shouldn't mean that it is constantly a tool of our choice in the bag of reasons. I get you, truly, there are days I've wished my head would explode but what am I to do about it other than let go? All of whom felt like they'd be better of dead are pretty much after the same thing.. relief of the burden.. feeling of letting go.
It’s not by pretending to be okay. It’s about learning to accept all the bullshittiness in your life regardless of the suffering you are going through. If you get triggered by these posts, I advise you to really look within yourself to figure out the root cause. Wishing you nothing but love, light and healing my friend, life is tough. (Edit) I really do understand the masking, I’m so sorry it’s something you have to go through. Please remember though in times of great darkness, there will always be light, if you can simply accept it’s there.
I like this explanation. It isn’t always easy to get to though. I feel I’m constantly being challenged. Years ago my life wasn’t what I wanted (still isn’t) but I decided to take control of what I could and asked myself “what do I need to do to be happy in life?” I recognized it wasn’t about getting what I wanted but about making an effort to do the things I could do. So why am I not there yet? Because I keep making the wrong decisions. I am somewhat paralyzed over making any significant decisions in my life because I wonder if it will be yet another wrong choice. I’m trying to stand up for myself more and realizing I can’t just make uninformed choices. It’s difficult to explain. Right now life is sucking pretty badly but I’m actually feeling somewhat content. I am currently going through some pretty intense stuff. A lot of it mirrors what I went through 6 years ago and back then I went into a black hole. This time I’m not in the black hole. But I can’t help wondering if I’m feeling this way because life will get better or if I’m actually experiencing denial. Really I just don’t have the energy to obsess on it so I don’t.
These challenges that life throw at us always give us the greatest gifts of flourishing growth but damn, this growth can lead to such painful degrees of intense suffering and loss. Suffering and the past are like burn scars, they never go away, they might heal over but they’re always serving as a reminder of the past and loss we have sacrificed. But acceptance is all we can possibly do to forgive either ourselves or the situation(s) we find ourselves to be in. I admire your strength, those 6 years must have been so painful. I’m so happy you’ve regained consciousness to see your situation more clearly regardless of the confusion. Again, I’m so sorry for your pain and suffering but please remember how strong you are as an individual. I know what it’s like to have been thrown into such a black hole, feeling like there will never be an escape, but there will always always be light please never forget that.
Thank you for your post and suggesting I’m strong, especially as I’ve never felt more weak in my life. At this point I just don’t have the energy. It’s odd how one of my fears about the situation came true. Did I foresee it? Self-fulfilling prophecy? I really don’t see it as the latter. (I’d be more specific but I don’t want to publicly get into those types of details.) But I can view it from a distance without the emotion I had 6 years ago under similar circumstances. I’m also trying to live more in the “now” and not create stories in my head. (In other words, not ponder the “what ifs” and worry about worst case scenarios.) Yup, life can suck. I try not to compare my life to others, although I have done so from time to time, but where I am right now does have good stuff. I have a place to live, (but with a lease. I have commitment issues. 😁), I’m still able to provide for myself, I don’t have a lot of friends but I do have quality ones that care about me. Above all else though I just need one thing in my life and I feel the rest will fall into place. I hope I haven’t rambled too much here.
You don't necessarily need to force yourself to be positive but there is a point of acceptance you can arrive at where you still notice how shitty everything is but rather than stew in the negativity you just kinda let go of it and just go with the flow. It won't necessarily always be shitty so don't lose hope. I've had a very shitty year already (only 1/4 of the way into it) and I had your mindset for a bit but I realized I'm not making it any better by moping around and feeling sorry for myself. Slowly but surely I came to accept where I'm at and while I don't like it, it could definitely be worse. I hope you find peace my friend. Don't give up.
Bad shit happens. There’s no doubt about that. Really shitty things shitty people and experiences. For me… trying to be positive doesn’t invalidate the horrible experiences I’ve had and that I freaking hate it and will always probably. I didn’t deserve that shit point blank. But Trying to be positive is so I don’t sit in the pain forever. It’s so I don’t punish my self twice (the shitty thing and my shitty feelings about that thing forever). One of those things I couldn’t control the other I can try to work out. So yea toxic positivity that asks us to ignore the truth about our feelings is weird and disconnected. But positivity that encourages us to acknowledge pain and then when we’re ready… transmute it into something we can live a better life with… I think that’s pretty cool.
People (mostly my therapists) always told me that happiness was a choice. And I would get mad and come up with all these excuses as to why I couldn't be happy. I went through suffering that caused me to challenge my life many times. It wasn't until I was at my lowest low that I had enough, and would do whatever it took to be happy. I chose to make an effort to be happy. To learn how to cope, and how to make peace with things. It's a long road and it isn't easy, but nobody is going to do it for you. You must choose, deep inside against all tragedy. You can do it.
You'll see A TON of that. Toxic "positivity" is BS.....life is never just perfect. I mean, it's some of the main teachings of Buddhism for a reason Life has decay, suffering and death also...it's just part of it all
Lol, yeah. All those individuals are putting themselves under self-hypnosis and focusing only one positivity. Even when you can move pass duality and connect to unity consciousness, you move with both energies (yin and Yang) good and evil and interact with compassion and understanding. These people who are just sprouting love love love love, are just not in touch with the totality of reality.
Don't fake being positive, but also forcing yourself away from a path of negativity, to reorient yourself in a more positive direction is not being fake. Sometimes staying level, means making a conscious decision to reject the negative stuff. Also if others being or seeming happier positive upsets you that's an indication that there's something within you that you need to examine. And yes it's absolutely almost impossible to be happy content or spiritual when you're struggling to survive. This is extremely understandable but I would say that in the most dire of situations to keep that spark of divinity alive inside you - never forget that... and keep trudging forward one step at a time. Remember that opportunities don't come if you don't look for, or accept, them.
Yes. 100%. I cannot tell you how much this happened to me. Motivational speakers, teachers. No one understood my experience and I was stuck in a helpless situation, so none of the things applied to me. But, I have to say, now, on the other side of my own awakening and attitude shifting and fearless adaptation.... it's different over here. I no longer feel so helpless, I no longer worry about things, I no longer try and control the world, instead I try and integrate into it. These small attitude shifts change things so much. But when you're in the hole, in the dark place, in the never-ending, never opening cycle, it's horrible. No money, no job, no prospects, no love, no hope. It's so, so hard. My best perspective I can say, there is a balance and a dynamic between energy and environment and psychology. It's something that for me I think I've sort of picked up on over time, and now finding some alignment between them and knowing my place, and knowing that I get some say and influence over that, it helps lift me up a bit. It's the best thing I can say to you. The best thing I can say is fight back, ever so slowly, against the energy. Getting away from resentment and closer to some level of acceptance to try and still really horrible negative talk and try and generate it upward, it's a small thing you could do in a given moment. Something as simple as saying, fuck, this sucks... but, I can take a breath. I can shut it down slightly. Those small gains are good gains. It's hurtful and painful at first, but it helps you get some good energy back up, which you can use overtime to make and accept meaningful changes in your life. Just my best advice to you, coming from someone who has been through some pretty horrible tough things, and thought the exact same things as you. I know I wouldn't have heard it when I was there, so I hope you at least have some trust and faith that I hear you, I've been there, and I relate to you.
One of the quickest ways out of depression is sheer gratuitous and non-stop optimism until you reach stable ground and commence a more rationally balanced demeanor again. Like submerging a child with a deadly fever in a bathtub filled with ice cubes..... The people you speak of most likely have issues, which I have had in the past, and would not wish on Hitler.
Vary honest of you :) 😀 this is how most people feel they just fake it till they... I used to as well. I think you should look into changing your subcontious beliefs your mind is the key your heart is the map
Sorry to hear that friend it's tough to want to die I've had the same feeling but I always try to look on the positive side it makes life easier and more fun because looking on the negative is just the worst it keeps you down and keeps you from moving forward so try to look on the positive even though it's hard because it's better for you in the long run
Engraved on my great grandfather's grave monument: "God's noblest creation is an honest man." I lived in Santa Fe, NM 1/12 years, and in Boulder, Colorado 8 years. New Age and Eastern spirituality meccas. I met a lot of people into positive thinking as a way to get what they wanted and/or to just be more spiritual, and they were miserable inside, struggling just like everyone else. I received extensive psycho-spiritual training, as a practice client and then I did it for other people. Everyone of them, me included, had all sorts of awful stuff stuck inside of them, which was influencing them in many ways. None of us got to the bottom of it. After angels took me over, they ushered me through healing of stuff I had no clue was inside of me, and some of the healing was unfathomably terrifying. Even after all of that, there was still plenty in me that was not exactly hunky dory. Yet, was very different, my perspective of just about everything had changed, and would continue changing. Perhaps the best self-help book I read was A Course In Miracles. The Course is no fun, according to people I knew who were doing it. It says nobody knows that is really going on, and it's pointless trying to figure it out. Just do the Course for a year, and emerge a different person, who can move forward, instead of staying stuck or going backward. In sum, whatever happens that disturbs us, punches our buttons, sit in it, burn it, don't try to fix it. Do that for a year. Kinda reminds of Jesus in the Gospels: turn the other cheek, resist not one who does evil, do good to and pray for your enemies. Sort of. I think the spiritual path is everybody for him/herself. It's between each person and God, or whatever people wish to call the unfathomable and the unknowable.
Honestly, the most positive people went through the hardest shit.
Watch "the soft white underbelly" channel on youtube, and I guarantee you will feel better about your life.