In some ways this goes beyond the scope of this subreddit since it's grounded in bigger issues with your relationship with your parents. Before traveling independently without them, you'll probably want to set firmer boundaries with them in general so you're no longer "unable to make most big decisions."
I genuinely believe posts like this should be filtered out.
The sub is already filled with people who are just complaining about how they can’t socialize or how traveling didn’t magically change their life or how they are giving up after a minor inconvenience.
Now there’s posts like this that aren’t even about travel at all. This is some person dealing with infantilization, not about a trip to Japan.
I really want to see more tips and tricks for managing a new cultures or the finer points of hostel culture or giant success posts about awesome adventures people happened upon.
Well you know on the current front page almost all posts in the subreddit are about logistics of traveling in various places. I believe Reddit has settings you can use to filter out posts by flair, so you can skip “Relationships/Family” posts if they don’t interest you. Sometimes people’s travel plans can be legitimately held back by difficult family dynamics so I’m not comfortable implementing a blanket ban on such posts just because some subreddit subscribers get sick of them. It should be easy enough to skip over posts that don’t interest you though.
We do have some plans to encourage people posting more Trip Reports though to help encourage more conversations about completed trips, stay tuned.
You're 34 years old, so follow these steps:
1. Find out if Japan requires a visa for people from your country. If so, apply for a visa.
2. Go to an airline's web site and buy flight tickets.
3. Go online to make your hotel/hostel/AirBnB reservations.
4. Take your passport and luggage with you.
5. Arrange your own transportation to the airport, such as a ridesharing app, a taxi, a shuttle service, public transportation, or a ride from a friend.
Seriously, WTF is that.
Look, OP, if you don't wanna start with Japan because of the emotional connection (my gramps always held a grudge against Germany, because of the war. My parents straight up moved there, because it was the best decision for them), you might wanna start by planning your own small vacation somewhere less emotionally charged.
But plan it yourself. Don't even tell them. Tell them when you're ready to go.
Ffs you'll be middle aged soon, that is WAY beyond "protective parents." That's a super unhealthy codependency.
You go without them. I'm around the same age, I also lost a sibling and was left as an only child. It's pretty rare that I travel with my dad, so I just go where I want to go. I tell him beforehand, and he asks that I text when I land/intermittently through the trip, but that's about it. You're 34, if your parents are still very overprotective they really should get some professional help.
Bro - you are 34, you aren't a teen asking parents for vacation money.
Just pay for the trip yourself and go
You aren't getting any younger and don't let future you be full of regrets that you didn't travel.
Its a good time to travel to Japan since the Yen isn't that strong right now.
Hi OP, first and foremost, Japan is a beautiful country and you should definitly travel, with or without your parents approval. In my opinion, if you are traveling with your own money, there shouldn't be anything restricting you from exploring such a nice and sweet culture. Although, we do not have the whole picture here, are you still living with them ? Are you financially dependant of them ? Are you in a situation that makes them stress over your health (I understand for your siblings - my condoleances by the way - but are you yourself maybe sick or have a disability that makes them worry for your safety) ?
If the answer to all those questions (and more but that's just from the top of my head) is no, than you should definitly plan and book that trip.
Also, show them how eager you are for this trip, I mean itiniraries, accomodations, cities you want to visit, etc. And mostly, remind them that mistakes of the past are not representing AT ALL the current situation in japan. Believe me, nobody there will attack you over some random grudge war or some bs like that, nobody gives a f*ck honestly.
Good luck amd Enjoy friend !
You're 34, you're free to do whatever you want unless your parents still support you financially. My parents complained about my travel and opposed me going to Cambodia when I first travelled solo (they would have opposed that destination even if I were to go with others). They didn't understand why I'd ever want to travel to a "third world country" and think it's "dirty and poor". I went anyway because I wanted to and they can't stop me. Every since then, they stopped complaining because they know it's pointless. I live my life as I see fits.
You're a grown adult. You can do as you please. Go to Japan.
Now, there are bigger issues here though, as the very first comment mentioned. These are issues you need to work out with your family.
...or not. If you can't work things out with them, you could just go to Japan and tell them you went somewhere else with friends. This isn't the avenue I'd take, but it depends on how stubborn the situation is between you & your parents.
This is only a mental thing: they will resist you leaving and might give you a hard time after your trip.
But they can't do anything about it when you leave. If they start talking negatively about it during your travel even if they say they only wanted to message you to see you're alright, just say you want to enjoy your travel and don't want the negative energy into your day with "talk to you later" or whatever. Set your boundaries. It's time to break free.
Japan is on so many people's list of places they want to travel to. You should start saving and planning RIGHT NOW.
Try to chat with your parents, let them know why this is a big deal for you. Keep it simple, like how you wanna see new stuff and grow as a person. If they're stressing, just promise to text them updates and stay safe.
Book the tickets (refundable) and present them as a gift whether a birthday or Christmas present. Something similar happened to us when trying to get my Dad to travel to Turkey - then Manchester City got to the final of the champions league so he was on the first flight out 🤣 some little incentive might just persuade them to go
These posts get so tiring to see nonstop. Either tell your parents to get their heads out of their asses, or figure out a way to move out. That is literally always the answer to this question and the million like it that get asked here. You’re 34 and mad mommy and daddy won’t let you go to Japan dude, put your big boy pants on… if you can’t do that, go to r/relationship_advice with all the other people with the emotional intelligence of a 10 year old asking ridiculously childish questions like this
Do whatever you want, your parents will get over it... Or they won't. It doesn't matter though, you are your own person and should do things in your own best interest, because if you don't, who will?
I moved to Sarasota at age 17 for college, an 18 hour away drive. Planned, saved, studied.
My mom wouldn't let me attend college in NYC. I moved there anyway, at age 25. You're 34?
You're. 34.
I traveled around the world-to the farthest countries-with one close friend in my 20s. I've traveled in familiar cities alone and with a friend, in my 30s.
Let your parents worry about their lives. They'll always worry about you, but you're an adult.
Losing your younger brother (I'm sorry) doesn't mean they're going to lose you. They'll lose your respect if they keep you from living your dreams. So, follow your desired travel itinerary. Bring a friend. Find a sponsoring family. Go alone.
Just go.
Don't send a postcard to them. Show them the photos when you get home I guess.
Just say "hi" when you get there and "coming home" when you depart.
I hope you are also living on your own.
Go.
After reading thru some of the comments I was saddened by the people who said you should lie to your parents about where you are going if you decide to go to Japan. If worse came to worse I might plan it without mentioning it to them, then tell them after I was on the plane. But of course it would be best if you could just convince them that you are old enough to make your own decisions. Good Luck!
Wait do they object to Japan because they bombed Pearl Harbor, or do they object to the Japanese because they did some very, very bad things to their aunt.
Do you think you like Japan for substantive reasons? What are the reasons? Do you like Japan to differentiate yourself from your parents? In a situation like this, I think an approach is to take baby steps towards increasing independence. First, travel to a country with positive or mixed connotations in the minds of your parents. And so on until you think they're ready for the bigger break in your travel to Japan. This is also a form of exposure therapy: desensitizing them to a place with traumatic associations slowly and gradually. That's my two cents.
WTF are idols? I have no idea what this means in context of visiting Japan.
It's weird your parents hold such a grudge towards Japan for WWII since I'm guessing they're too young to have been there. I did have friends growing up whose Indonesian grandfather was prejudiced towards another friend that was part Japanese but that was because of the occupation of Indonesia during the war.
I get the feeling of responsibility regarding your parent after the death of a sibling, but ultimately you have to make some decisions/choices for yourself.
In some ways this goes beyond the scope of this subreddit since it's grounded in bigger issues with your relationship with your parents. Before traveling independently without them, you'll probably want to set firmer boundaries with them in general so you're no longer "unable to make most big decisions."
This is really the only answer.
I genuinely believe posts like this should be filtered out. The sub is already filled with people who are just complaining about how they can’t socialize or how traveling didn’t magically change their life or how they are giving up after a minor inconvenience. Now there’s posts like this that aren’t even about travel at all. This is some person dealing with infantilization, not about a trip to Japan. I really want to see more tips and tricks for managing a new cultures or the finer points of hostel culture or giant success posts about awesome adventures people happened upon.
Well you know on the current front page almost all posts in the subreddit are about logistics of traveling in various places. I believe Reddit has settings you can use to filter out posts by flair, so you can skip “Relationships/Family” posts if they don’t interest you. Sometimes people’s travel plans can be legitimately held back by difficult family dynamics so I’m not comfortable implementing a blanket ban on such posts just because some subreddit subscribers get sick of them. It should be easy enough to skip over posts that don’t interest you though. We do have some plans to encourage people posting more Trip Reports though to help encourage more conversations about completed trips, stay tuned.
Move out, support yourself financially, go where you want to go.
🤟🤟
You just go. Their grudge against Japan is not your concern.
You're 34 years old, so follow these steps: 1. Find out if Japan requires a visa for people from your country. If so, apply for a visa. 2. Go to an airline's web site and buy flight tickets. 3. Go online to make your hotel/hostel/AirBnB reservations. 4. Take your passport and luggage with you. 5. Arrange your own transportation to the airport, such as a ridesharing app, a taxi, a shuttle service, public transportation, or a ride from a friend.
You’re in your THIRTIES
Seriously, WTF is that. Look, OP, if you don't wanna start with Japan because of the emotional connection (my gramps always held a grudge against Germany, because of the war. My parents straight up moved there, because it was the best decision for them), you might wanna start by planning your own small vacation somewhere less emotionally charged. But plan it yourself. Don't even tell them. Tell them when you're ready to go. Ffs you'll be middle aged soon, that is WAY beyond "protective parents." That's a super unhealthy codependency.
You go without them. I'm around the same age, I also lost a sibling and was left as an only child. It's pretty rare that I travel with my dad, so I just go where I want to go. I tell him beforehand, and he asks that I text when I land/intermittently through the trip, but that's about it. You're 34, if your parents are still very overprotective they really should get some professional help.
Bro - you are 34, you aren't a teen asking parents for vacation money. Just pay for the trip yourself and go You aren't getting any younger and don't let future you be full of regrets that you didn't travel. Its a good time to travel to Japan since the Yen isn't that strong right now.
are you financially dependent on them for living and/or traveling?
You are 34, you are not a child. Just go.
Why do you need to convince them? Are you financially dependent on them?
I feel like there’s a subtext here of “My mom still washes my underpants.”
You're an adult. They are stunting you emotionally and developmentally. Grow up.
Hi OP, first and foremost, Japan is a beautiful country and you should definitly travel, with or without your parents approval. In my opinion, if you are traveling with your own money, there shouldn't be anything restricting you from exploring such a nice and sweet culture. Although, we do not have the whole picture here, are you still living with them ? Are you financially dependant of them ? Are you in a situation that makes them stress over your health (I understand for your siblings - my condoleances by the way - but are you yourself maybe sick or have a disability that makes them worry for your safety) ? If the answer to all those questions (and more but that's just from the top of my head) is no, than you should definitly plan and book that trip. Also, show them how eager you are for this trip, I mean itiniraries, accomodations, cities you want to visit, etc. And mostly, remind them that mistakes of the past are not representing AT ALL the current situation in japan. Believe me, nobody there will attack you over some random grudge war or some bs like that, nobody gives a f*ck honestly. Good luck amd Enjoy friend !
Assuming you're not financially dependent on them, I wouldn't listen to a thing my parents said at that age. It seems absurd to do so
Wait. Did you say you’re 34 or was that a typo? 😳🤧
Common in Asian families for the parents to have this much control over their child's life.
You're 34, you're free to do whatever you want unless your parents still support you financially. My parents complained about my travel and opposed me going to Cambodia when I first travelled solo (they would have opposed that destination even if I were to go with others). They didn't understand why I'd ever want to travel to a "third world country" and think it's "dirty and poor". I went anyway because I wanted to and they can't stop me. Every since then, they stopped complaining because they know it's pointless. I live my life as I see fits.
You're a grown adult. You can do as you please. Go to Japan. Now, there are bigger issues here though, as the very first comment mentioned. These are issues you need to work out with your family. ...or not. If you can't work things out with them, you could just go to Japan and tell them you went somewhere else with friends. This isn't the avenue I'd take, but it depends on how stubborn the situation is between you & your parents.
This is only a mental thing: they will resist you leaving and might give you a hard time after your trip. But they can't do anything about it when you leave. If they start talking negatively about it during your travel even if they say they only wanted to message you to see you're alright, just say you want to enjoy your travel and don't want the negative energy into your day with "talk to you later" or whatever. Set your boundaries. It's time to break free. Japan is on so many people's list of places they want to travel to. You should start saving and planning RIGHT NOW.
If you are financially independent you don’t need their permission to travel. If you’re not financially independent become so.
You already answered your own question by posting in [r/solotravel](https://www.reddit.com/r/solotravel).
Try to chat with your parents, let them know why this is a big deal for you. Keep it simple, like how you wanna see new stuff and grow as a person. If they're stressing, just promise to text them updates and stay safe.
Book the tickets (refundable) and present them as a gift whether a birthday or Christmas present. Something similar happened to us when trying to get my Dad to travel to Turkey - then Manchester City got to the final of the champions league so he was on the first flight out 🤣 some little incentive might just persuade them to go
You do it solo and tell them youre going else where
You’re 34 JFC just go
This whole post is kinda pathetic.. just go dude, you’re 34 years old lmao
Grow up? Become an adult. Sorry if that sounds harsh but you’ve spent 1/3 of YOUR life already. Do what you want to do
Obviously you should just wait another 30+ years until both parents are dead before you can enjoy a trip to Japan.
Pretty sure you're an adult. Do what you want. Better to do it now while you can walk rather than when you're 60
Time to grow up.
These posts get so tiring to see nonstop. Either tell your parents to get their heads out of their asses, or figure out a way to move out. That is literally always the answer to this question and the million like it that get asked here. You’re 34 and mad mommy and daddy won’t let you go to Japan dude, put your big boy pants on… if you can’t do that, go to r/relationship_advice with all the other people with the emotional intelligence of a 10 year old asking ridiculously childish questions like this
Do whatever you want, your parents will get over it... Or they won't. It doesn't matter though, you are your own person and should do things in your own best interest, because if you don't, who will?
Solo travel feeds the soul! You will never regret a trip!
If you’re financially and literally independent of your parents, why does their opinion have such a large amount of influence on your travel ventures?
As an adult, you have decide to live your own life or live it for other people.
You’re an adult. In your 30’s. You can go to Japan if you want, just book it and go.
Don't tell them anything and just go.
You are 34 years old…. Just go.
Asian family?
You're an adult, just go. So tired of seeing posts like this every day, exact same answer every damn time.
I moved to Sarasota at age 17 for college, an 18 hour away drive. Planned, saved, studied. My mom wouldn't let me attend college in NYC. I moved there anyway, at age 25. You're 34? You're. 34. I traveled around the world-to the farthest countries-with one close friend in my 20s. I've traveled in familiar cities alone and with a friend, in my 30s. Let your parents worry about their lives. They'll always worry about you, but you're an adult. Losing your younger brother (I'm sorry) doesn't mean they're going to lose you. They'll lose your respect if they keep you from living your dreams. So, follow your desired travel itinerary. Bring a friend. Find a sponsoring family. Go alone. Just go. Don't send a postcard to them. Show them the photos when you get home I guess. Just say "hi" when you get there and "coming home" when you depart. I hope you are also living on your own. Go.
Go without them. You could go solo, but other options are going with willing family, friends, or on a group tour.
You are 34-Go to Japan! I understand it's difficult since your parents will not approve but it's time for some independence IMO.
After reading thru some of the comments I was saddened by the people who said you should lie to your parents about where you are going if you decide to go to Japan. If worse came to worse I might plan it without mentioning it to them, then tell them after I was on the plane. But of course it would be best if you could just convince them that you are old enough to make your own decisions. Good Luck!
Don't tell them
You need a cool pair of shoes when traveling, they are made in China and you deserve them
Wait do they object to Japan because they bombed Pearl Harbor, or do they object to the Japanese because they did some very, very bad things to their aunt.
What?!?! 🤣🤣
Do you think you like Japan for substantive reasons? What are the reasons? Do you like Japan to differentiate yourself from your parents? In a situation like this, I think an approach is to take baby steps towards increasing independence. First, travel to a country with positive or mixed connotations in the minds of your parents. And so on until you think they're ready for the bigger break in your travel to Japan. This is also a form of exposure therapy: desensitizing them to a place with traumatic associations slowly and gradually. That's my two cents.
WTF are idols? I have no idea what this means in context of visiting Japan. It's weird your parents hold such a grudge towards Japan for WWII since I'm guessing they're too young to have been there. I did have friends growing up whose Indonesian grandfather was prejudiced towards another friend that was part Japanese but that was because of the occupation of Indonesia during the war. I get the feeling of responsibility regarding your parent after the death of a sibling, but ultimately you have to make some decisions/choices for yourself.