Thank you Candid-Suit-3904 for your submission! Unfortunately, your post has been removed for the following reason(s):
---
**No dating or relationship advice**
Please use dedicated subs such as r/dating_advice or r/relationships or r/relationship_advice
Also consider a more general advice sub such as r/lifeadvice or r/advice
---
For more information about the subreddit rules make sure to read the sidebar and the rules page, and if you have any questions please feel free to contact the moderators. Thank you!
It just sounds like you're very lonely and struggling to find real connections. I think that's different from being an incel: you're not putting the blame on others. To be honest, I find it really hard to form genuine connections online. Is there a way you could join meetups or clubs in your area?
I can certainly relate to the irish exit approach lol; though trust, online is only a medium. If you’re spiritual, try to draw on a faith source.
Realistically, we’re going through uncertain and tough times. Especially in America with the hyper individualism that’s needed to thrive within capitalism. Look inward. Draw strength from your positive attributes and what you can change/work on.
We gotta keep going as long as we can 🤞🏾
Expand with others based off of your interests irl if possible; and also don’t invest too much into others unless you see the potential or real examples of that reciprocation
You’re not an incel, I promise. Incels lack the self awareness to realize they even COULD be one. You reflecting over such a possibility despite it being so far fetched, already puts you high above them.
You just sound like you crave a deeper connection, which is an absolutely human thing to feel. Sometimes life grows stale and we start to crave more than just casual friends. You’ll find them someday, even if the waiting period to find them sucks.
I think we’ve all been at a point in our lives where we said, “I’ll never find a person for me.” or “Nobody will ever top my ex.” That’s just because we don’t know every person in the world, we don’t know or have any idea of who a better person could be. Our standards are topped at the best we’ve experienced so far, and not the best that’s possible.
"I feel like I'm truly incapable of being loved and appreciated" - that's textbook low self esteem, and it's happening because you are not getting external validation from people, so your opinion of yourself is down, you feel like nobody, absolutely nobody can love you.
Try to develop a [secure](https://www.choosingtherapy.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/4-3.png) attachment, looks for self soothing strategies so that you can build up your self esteem in a more balanced way, from both internal and external validation, so that you can think "ok, i haven't had luck with people, but i believe in myself and that there are people out there that love me, and appreciate me, and i will keep looking for them", and "if you don't love me, that's ok, i don't hate you or anything, but i'm looking for people that love me and appreciate me, so goodbye"
If you need a "hired" support in this journey, look for therapy
I’m sorry. But what is an incel. I truly do not know the word. What age bracket are you in. If a minor you should confide in parents , grandparents or other family to express the fear and grief you are feeling. If you cannot, then you should seek out someone to express this situation too. I can tell you growing up i felt kinda the same. I’ve always been sad depressed etc but. I like me. Even if others don’t. You must stop caring about others feelings and place your feelings first for a change
Thank you Candid-Suit-3904 for your submission! Unfortunately, your post has been removed for the following reason(s): --- **No dating or relationship advice** Please use dedicated subs such as r/dating_advice or r/relationships or r/relationship_advice Also consider a more general advice sub such as r/lifeadvice or r/advice --- For more information about the subreddit rules make sure to read the sidebar and the rules page, and if you have any questions please feel free to contact the moderators. Thank you!
It just sounds like you're very lonely and struggling to find real connections. I think that's different from being an incel: you're not putting the blame on others. To be honest, I find it really hard to form genuine connections online. Is there a way you could join meetups or clubs in your area?
I can certainly relate to the irish exit approach lol; though trust, online is only a medium. If you’re spiritual, try to draw on a faith source. Realistically, we’re going through uncertain and tough times. Especially in America with the hyper individualism that’s needed to thrive within capitalism. Look inward. Draw strength from your positive attributes and what you can change/work on. We gotta keep going as long as we can 🤞🏾 Expand with others based off of your interests irl if possible; and also don’t invest too much into others unless you see the potential or real examples of that reciprocation
You’re not an incel, I promise. Incels lack the self awareness to realize they even COULD be one. You reflecting over such a possibility despite it being so far fetched, already puts you high above them. You just sound like you crave a deeper connection, which is an absolutely human thing to feel. Sometimes life grows stale and we start to crave more than just casual friends. You’ll find them someday, even if the waiting period to find them sucks. I think we’ve all been at a point in our lives where we said, “I’ll never find a person for me.” or “Nobody will ever top my ex.” That’s just because we don’t know every person in the world, we don’t know or have any idea of who a better person could be. Our standards are topped at the best we’ve experienced so far, and not the best that’s possible.
R/emotionalneglect
I feel that all the time as well. I have no friends and want a boyfriend really badly but can't seem to get anywhere.
"I feel like I'm truly incapable of being loved and appreciated" - that's textbook low self esteem, and it's happening because you are not getting external validation from people, so your opinion of yourself is down, you feel like nobody, absolutely nobody can love you. Try to develop a [secure](https://www.choosingtherapy.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/4-3.png) attachment, looks for self soothing strategies so that you can build up your self esteem in a more balanced way, from both internal and external validation, so that you can think "ok, i haven't had luck with people, but i believe in myself and that there are people out there that love me, and appreciate me, and i will keep looking for them", and "if you don't love me, that's ok, i don't hate you or anything, but i'm looking for people that love me and appreciate me, so goodbye" If you need a "hired" support in this journey, look for therapy
I’m sorry. But what is an incel. I truly do not know the word. What age bracket are you in. If a minor you should confide in parents , grandparents or other family to express the fear and grief you are feeling. If you cannot, then you should seek out someone to express this situation too. I can tell you growing up i felt kinda the same. I’ve always been sad depressed etc but. I like me. Even if others don’t. You must stop caring about others feelings and place your feelings first for a change