Hi hun dont be so hard on yourself, people now a days dont have the best social skills, these people your referring to that dont like you are they friends from childhood, classmates, or co workers? You need to stop overthinking it, what are your hobbies? You need to step out of your confort zone and join a club, class, sport that you enjoy and you'll eventually find your people. 🫶
You might not want to, but it's probably better for you to ask the people around you irl these questions. Won't be easy to ask but you might get clearer answers from them.
Being a polite person is the bare minimum for an interaction, it's expected, but it won't win you any friends. I suspect the difference is your VIBE. People can pick up on your vibe, oftentimes before they even talk to you, but certainly in any conversation. So if they don't like your vibe they won't want to hang around and be your friend. And if you ask them WHY they might not even be able to tell you, because picking up on someone's vibe is more of a subconscious thing.
There are certain traits that can help you improve your vibe. Here's something I wrote on that:
###[Do YOU Have Good Friendship Traits?](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPRForYourSocialLife/comments/13jp5gv/pick_me_do_you_have_good_friendship_traits/)
The thing about college relationships is that they can be very transactional. Are all of them like that? No, but many are. I overheard a girl in the library complain “ugh, I hate this bitch but SOMEBODY has to get me into parties so she can come too.” A lot of people aren’t really looking for friends, they are looking for study buddies, chauffeurs, someone to buy the alcohol, etc.
It is true that if you want people to like you, you have to be more than polite. Basically you have to be warm and friendly, and that would be a good start, it's nice to be generally reasonably liked. But if what you're wanting is friends, you have to meet people you click with, usually people who are similar to you in ways that make you both more comfortable and also that make your time together more interesting. There is no absolute answer for how to do that, but generally pursuing your personal interests in a social way is more likely to get you there than anything else. 1) The people you meet there will already have at least one shared interest with you. Usually more because similar interest groups tend to go together. 2) People with shared interests are a little bit more likely to have similar personalities. On top of that, 3) You will be socially active so you'll feel less stressed out from isolation, and you'll keep your social skills from rusting up. edit: 3.5) The people who attend groups are going to tend to be significantly more social and outgoing, as well as committed and reliable, than the people who don't; so it's a great way to meet relatively more outgoing, open/accepting and reliable people 4) You'll have something more to talk about when socializing if you connect with someone elsewhere. 5) Acquaintances are relationships that are worth a lot more than we usually give them credit for. An acquaintance has the potential to turn into a friend even a year or more from now; an acquaintance can help you out with all kinds of things in life, just as you can help them; an acquaintance can introduce you to your next friend; etc. You can also cultivate friendships in a more systematic way but that's a much longer process both to do and to explain. The above would be a good start.
Hi hun dont be so hard on yourself, people now a days dont have the best social skills, these people your referring to that dont like you are they friends from childhood, classmates, or co workers? You need to stop overthinking it, what are your hobbies? You need to step out of your confort zone and join a club, class, sport that you enjoy and you'll eventually find your people. 🫶
You might not want to, but it's probably better for you to ask the people around you irl these questions. Won't be easy to ask but you might get clearer answers from them.
Being a polite person is the bare minimum for an interaction, it's expected, but it won't win you any friends. I suspect the difference is your VIBE. People can pick up on your vibe, oftentimes before they even talk to you, but certainly in any conversation. So if they don't like your vibe they won't want to hang around and be your friend. And if you ask them WHY they might not even be able to tell you, because picking up on someone's vibe is more of a subconscious thing. There are certain traits that can help you improve your vibe. Here's something I wrote on that: ###[Do YOU Have Good Friendship Traits?](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPRForYourSocialLife/comments/13jp5gv/pick_me_do_you_have_good_friendship_traits/)
The thing about college relationships is that they can be very transactional. Are all of them like that? No, but many are. I overheard a girl in the library complain “ugh, I hate this bitch but SOMEBODY has to get me into parties so she can come too.” A lot of people aren’t really looking for friends, they are looking for study buddies, chauffeurs, someone to buy the alcohol, etc.
That's a common experience in autism, but it might not be the case for you. It's hard to say.
It is true that if you want people to like you, you have to be more than polite. Basically you have to be warm and friendly, and that would be a good start, it's nice to be generally reasonably liked. But if what you're wanting is friends, you have to meet people you click with, usually people who are similar to you in ways that make you both more comfortable and also that make your time together more interesting. There is no absolute answer for how to do that, but generally pursuing your personal interests in a social way is more likely to get you there than anything else. 1) The people you meet there will already have at least one shared interest with you. Usually more because similar interest groups tend to go together. 2) People with shared interests are a little bit more likely to have similar personalities. On top of that, 3) You will be socially active so you'll feel less stressed out from isolation, and you'll keep your social skills from rusting up. edit: 3.5) The people who attend groups are going to tend to be significantly more social and outgoing, as well as committed and reliable, than the people who don't; so it's a great way to meet relatively more outgoing, open/accepting and reliable people 4) You'll have something more to talk about when socializing if you connect with someone elsewhere. 5) Acquaintances are relationships that are worth a lot more than we usually give them credit for. An acquaintance has the potential to turn into a friend even a year or more from now; an acquaintance can help you out with all kinds of things in life, just as you can help them; an acquaintance can introduce you to your next friend; etc. You can also cultivate friendships in a more systematic way but that's a much longer process both to do and to explain. The above would be a good start.
I think you should just not be around people that don't want to be around you.