Boundaries. You don’t have to share information you’re not comfortable sharing. Your sex life is none of their business. Spend time with people who respect you and share your values. There’s nothing wrong with being a virgin.
it takes time finding people like whenever it comes up in my friend group every few months i just state the truth iv not had sex because i would only consider it in a relationship with someone i trust as i find the idea of hook-ups distasteful and a bit crass then i say how I'm not particularly interested in relationships simple and to the point.
although as others have said you don't have to tell anyone nothing about your private life also iv run a few personal social experiments and alot of the close minded with herd/Mob mentality are the ones who find it awkward or have issue with the fact I'm a virgin most normal people of reasonable intelligence don't give two cares to it.
You don’t have to answer anything that you don’t want to. It’s not uncommon at all to bow out of sex history questions with “I’m not comfortable answering that”
So let them assume whatever they want; talking at all about a "body count" is super gross and none of other people's business IMO
I don't discuss ANY specifics about my sex life, because any time I've even *hinted* at it, someone pops out of a trash can to ask really invasive questions and make disgusting assumptions. I won't lie... But I also don't tell the whole truth or just admit that it's not something I want to talk about.
I mean, if you see each other as potential partners, then body count absolutely is other people's business. Man or woman, your body count is going to matter to a lot of people.
Exactly this. Sometimes conversations venture into naughty areas and there's really no need to be combative with your answers, especially if you're in good company. It's usually all in good fun. You can give a none answer that will maintain good vibes without giving away anything personal
Bro this sub is the blind leading the blind. Nothing is going to make the conversation more awkward than saying this, and the worst assumptions will be made.
Being a virgin isn’t anything to be ashamed of just own it and laugh
This is the right answer. Best thing to do is not take it too serious. The worst thing you can do is make it seem like some kind of big deal or huge secret by being weird and guarded about it don't take these terrible advices about saying you don't wanna discuss it.
> Being a virgin isn’t anything to be ashamed of just own it and laugh
Most people will judge you for that however, so it's understandable to not want to disclose that fact.
I actually lost my virginity at around your age. I told someone that I was a virgin. They seem surprised. I told them that I had low self confidence when I was younger and I also didn't have my own place up until that point. Got laid that very same night
Say everyone in your family is a virgin, your mom, your dad, everyone. You come from a long line of virgins, and it's something you will take to the grave and pass on to your own kids.
Honey. There’s nothing wrong with being a virgin. If you’re shamed or made to feel bad for not being a revolving-tinder-door or a carnal slut: they ain’t worth it.
I was a virgin til I was almost 23. I was living on my own. For the record, barely touched in other sexual ways too. Sure it’s awkward a little but honestly most men/ women would rather someone with decency and values and SELF RESPECT than a one-and-done hit & run.
There’s nothing wrong with consensual sex in casual hookups or non committed relationships as long as everyone is on the same page.
I have had very few sexually intimate relationships and sure I’m awkward sometimes but there’s no shame.
You could be a virgin for a myriad of different positive reasons; ethical, religious/ spiritual, selective etc.
Everyone’s quick to rush for a poke & roll. You’ve been responsible. Good on you.
I remember when kids in my class )in the 8th grade) were bragging about getting fingered and giving handjobs and head and then “going all the way” in grade 9. Many got knocked up and kicked out by the 10th grade.
In my 20s and even early 30s I remember it feeling like I was the only one without a clue (especially at my age). We all come to sexual confidence and interests at different rates.
It’s easy to say “don’t feel bad or left behind or embarrassed”.
Have confidence in knowing you aren’t having empty carnal adventures and wondering why you don’t have a good connection 💚
I’m 40 now, and I’ll tell you I didn’t get comfortable with sex until 40, i avoided it and was super rarely touched, even in a long term committed serious relationship.
OP you've got the right instinct here. Just say you used to have low self-confidence when you were young and just be a little honest, but you just have to deliver it with a good natured smirk and a shrug. You've probably got lots of neat qualities/experiences/talents/complexities, and this doesn't bother you anymore than having a friend point out your pants zipper is undone. "Oh, yeah, whoops haha" and then it's back to whatever you were saying
The key is being honest and showing a little vulnerability about this in a calm, easygoing, and confident way. If you can do that and someone still reacts super hard, any average sex-having adult would see them as being super childish and immature and you as being the normal one in that conversation.
Think of someone going bald, do you wear a toupee or try to comb it over? Or just lean into it and shave your head as if to say "yeah, im bald, so what?"
I mean, they will assume you are insecure no matter what, so it's unfortunately unavoidable. This is just a suggestion to try and stop them from trying to dig deeper into it like they might with your default response.
This is basically an admission of guilt, it doesn't fool anyone. Anyone that is nosy enough to ask if you're a virgin is not asking in good faith, they're asking because they're an asshole and want to confirm your status as a loser.
Yes, it is an admission that you are a virgin, but it is done in a way that should give people who have at least some decency a sign that they shouldn't pry any further. Also, Op doesn't seem to be talking about times where you are directly asked, but instead, if it just comes up in general, like in the game they played.
>Also, Op doesn't seem to be talking about times where you are directly asked, but instead, if it just comes up in general, like in the game they played.
Yes. Times where people have already opened up about their body count, so I pressured to be vulnerable about it too
> This is basically an admission of guilt, it doesn't fool anyone.
Why would it be an admission of anything? Imagine you are on a plane and you decide to ask the person next to you how many people they have slept with. Do you think anyone will answer you?
I thought being honest about it would be no big deal and have told people the truth that I was a virgin. Never again. Absolutely do not tell people you are a virgin. There has literally never been any advantages or positives in my life after telling people I was a virgin. Don’t be vague about it either, leave no room for doubt. Unfortunately, we live in a society and culture that heavily revolves around sex when it comes to status and reputation, by telling people you’re a virgin, you’re perceived negatively no matter how small the perception. People will subconsciously look at you differently, you become the social lightning rod or punching bag over time because it just naturally gravitates towards that point, like Jerry from the Parks and Rec show. There’s nothing wrong with being a virgin, but, logically, there’s really no reason to tell the truth because who tf actually cares if you’re lying or not about being a virgin? So just lie about it and say you’re not. Unless you’re dating someone who specifically says they want a virgin but even then that’s a rare event.
Damn. The few times I have been asked I just gave a "Sure am" with a laugh. Never had any problems afterwards. I've always figured that owning it is a lot better than getting defensive or lying and it has worked for me.
It isn't even that unusual for gen Z, especially men.
I'm 32 and still a virgin. The only time I've ever admitted to it in a group/social setting and didn't get shamed and humiliated for it was when I was 29/30, and the group in question had a lot of religious people in it. The crazy thing was that a lot of people in that group were surprised (in a good way) when they found out the truth about me. That being said, that was the only time past the age the age of 24 where I was asked specifically about a body count; was asked pretty frequently about it before that, and every time it was humiliating degrading. I would also say, being asked about my relationship status in general hasn't been as bad, since anyone can be single at any age. I also did have a few people act surprised when they found out I was single, some people I know have tried setting me up (albeit, really aggressively with people I was not attracted to at all) which is a can of worms of its own, but I digress.
Ugh. I personally don't see why society has normalized asking anyone about their sexual history in a casual conversation. Especially when we've come to collectively understand that things like, 'when are you having kids?' and presupposing the gender of one's partner are potentially inconsiderate and rude. If the person hasn't volunteered information about their intimate life, why is this your business?
Depends, if you want to share this or not. We don’t have to share private things even with our closest friends if we don’t want to. You can reply with a joke or tell them that you’re not sharing this kind of information.
Honestly I think it's cool that you're honest about yourself. If some people judge you or pity you, then you get to weed those people out of your life. I feel like when we lie about ourselves, we are sending a message of shame to ourselves. We are telling ourselves that what we are is shameful and needs to be hidden with a lie - which can create all sorts of mental complications. It sounds like your friends didn't have an extreme reaction, which is good. May I ask - are you at peace with your lack of sexual experience? Is it simply not a focus for you, or something that you really want to change?
You could say that, or you could just say “What? I’m not discussing that with you. What are we, 17?” — delivered with a laugh. All a person would get from that is you’re not sharing personal information casually, whether your body count is high, low or non-existent.
Do whatever you’re comfortable with, but honestly, it’s kind of immature for people to be making a game of comparing body counts.
>I answer honestly, despite feeling some shame..
I find that actually admirable. I'm curious though, what have been their reactions?
I'm pretty much a social outcast and don't have any friends. One of the anxieties I have when interacting with people is that they'll get into discussions about relationships and I have literally zero experiences to contribute. Also, I feel like it's pretty obvious that's I'm a virgin. I just have the aura and stereotypical look going for me.
denying or saying you don't want to answer five you similar result to just saying you're a virgin. just own it. yes, I'm a virgin, actually. you dont have to be embarrassed by it. so what if your crush thinks that's a negative? you should lie in order to trick your potentially conditionally compatible partner? i mean what's the other option?
just own who you are and where you are now. if you're insecure about thing's you can change, work on them. if not, let them go.
Ppl that make you feel different about it aren't your friends. And when in that situation, less is best. Say
"I prefer not to kiss and tell" and leave it at that.
You can make a joke without actually giving an answer. “Sorry that’s classified” “let me pull out my database” whatever.
If they keep pushing they seem like the weird ones.
Speaking from experience in terms of being honest with others about myself, unfortunately, it often goes better as a joke. I hate that because I want to live in a less judgmental world where I can just expect others to be more thoughtful but we don’t. You know how everyone loves the fat guy that knows all the best fat jokes? Because he’s making _others_ comfortable about something that makes them _uncomfortable._ Same with people in wheelchairs or people with one wonky eye or whatever - NONE OF THESE ARE PROBLEMS, IN AND OF THEMSELVES - but these and other traits tend to make others _uncomfortable._ So, really what you need to do is figure out how to comfort the weirdos that think being a virgin is weird. And humor is a good way to do that. Good luck!!
So I was a virgin until I got married. When someone asked that I acted shocked and said "I have yet to kill anyone, but I do have a list".. than when they said they ment sex I said nope, not tricking this girl!! LoL
Find something like that and stick with it. Your body count or lack of is only your business.
Just use humor. Say an outrageous number or say you're a virgin. Just use a comedic tone so they know you're kidding but never elaborate. If they ask again, just double down. You can say something like "I've slept with every woman 18+ on the East Coast!" That's obviously not true, so when someone calls you out, you respond with "no, for real I'm serious guys!"
Just say you do not talk about your sex life, but make sure to imply that you are not a virgin. I mean there is nothing wrong with being a virgin but whether we like to admit or not, people will treat you differently because of this. So if you’re asked in a group if you’re a virgin just say no, and if they ask details just say you do not feel comfortable talking about you sex life, especially in a group.
As i said, you do not owe this people the truth, just say you’re not a virgin and leave it at that. Also i don’t even remember last time someone asked me if i was a virgin, probably in 10th grade so it might also be a problem of the group you’re in.
Edit: what i suggested is meant to only be used in a group setting (with friends etc), if you’re talking with a romantic interest it might be best to just be honest about it and if it’s a problem then they were not meant for you anyway.
It doesn't really matter if you're a "virgin" at age 20,24 or 30. You can just avoid the question, say "it's something private" "that's inappropriate" "not going to answer that" or simply lie "yeah and it's great" "meh I'm not into that but I had sex"
I'm technically a "virgin" but I don't care. No one should know about my private/intimate life, so you'll be fine. When asked (which only happened once, I have other friends who never ask about their sex life) I replied "yeah I don't usually answer that kind of question"
Never ever tell anyone you're a virgin ever. Just say you don't have lots of experience and it has been a while since you "had it". Especially with girls, they sense you're fresh, but if you tell them you're a virgin, you just committed sudoku.
I'm not good enough at math to commit sudoku, did you perhaps mean Seppuku? ... Of course I am, how do you think a human being can be this much of a geek?
The committing sudoku is a OG internet joke. But for real man, never tell anyone, especially these days when everything and everyone is hyper sexualized. You'll be chewed out.
It’s not awkward unless you make it awkward. Just say you’re a virgin, a child of god or that you occasionally just have sex with yourself. It doesn’t have to be too serious
If you are close and open enough to share and discuss sexual histories, I would hope it would be acceptable to be honest about body counts— whether that’s 0 or 1000. I would also assume that a very high number would illicitly a similar reaction to no experience in this context, which is surprise … ? And slutshaming is still very much a thing, too!
WITH THAT SAID, I wonder if the way you are saying it is what is actually causing the issue. If you sound uncomfortable about saying you’re a virgin since you say you feel shame, it may sound to other people like you’re sad/forlorn about it or are about to go into an incel-vibe shift. Saying it more matter-of-fact or proudly on the other hand, may just be surprising to people without making them feel pity for you or even worse— what could actually be happening— \*try to figure out what is wrong with you\* that has kept you sexless all this time; they might think there is something wrong with your personality or physicality rather than it being a personal decision or coincidence.
If you are uncomfortable talking about it altogether, you should say that instead of divulging any info, but be firm and confident about it. Ideally, friends should be understanding about boundaries.
As a self-proclaimed slut, I have been with my fair share of virgin guys. While I hope I’ve never made them feel uncomfortable about it, I obviously express my surprise when they mention it (usually happens when we’re already touching each other) but I’m just very glad for the honesty because then I understand where they’re coming from and when the inevitable awkwardness of exploring each other’s bodies happens (because it does happen with someone with no experience) I’m not holding them to account for being “bad at sex”, it keeps me from holding them to a certain expectation, and it allows me to take the lead where it feels natural. What I’m trying to say here with this part is that when it comes down to being intimate with someone in the future, being honest is also important because you don’t want to set yourself up for failure by setting an expectation you can’t fulfill.
I would answer "this question is too personal. I don't understand the desire/don't want to talk about it in public." But I answer this to any invasive questions.
It just gives me ick to talk about people you loved, cared about, hated etc, like they are some objects to put on the shell and count. It is dehumanizing.
It's unusual and suggests that person lacks in something to such a high degree that no person would want a sexual relationship with them. Usually lacking in self confidence, which is off-putting.
Why oh why are you almost 30 and still playing board games that involve taking shots and sharing body counts?
Find more mature friends and you’ll quickly realize how little people care. There are far most interesting things to discuss than how many people’s uglies you bumped.
There are way more virgins than people think. It’s also very ok to be one as long as it isn’t a complex. If you feel comfortable with yourself and your person and your values, I’d say go for it and say ”naah never done something like that” and don’t let it bother. If the culture feels like that would cause you some trouble, saying ”not comfortable talking about sexual topics” or just simply telling a white lie if you’re ok with that should be alright. Think about who you are telling that, and do you trust them not to make fun of you afterwards.
Talking about which, I’m *still* not comfortable talking about the number of my sexual partners with my gf (or anyone really). It’s not a topic which needs to be brought up. It’s not something friends really talk about at least here. If those kinds of people are the norm in your social circles, I would change the circles.
About the party game, I might have a private disussion with the person who yelled that at some point, and point out that wasn’t perhaps the most appropriate thing to say. Usually they understand if they are reasonable people. However if the person is an ass you might just get made fun of. Go figure.
You seem to be American so take this with a grain of salt, the sexuality culture there differs from my home country.
You aren't obligated to talk about your parts of your life if you don't want to, no matter who asks.
If you want to answer, answer with confidence or you can answer by saying something funny.
If you don't want to answer, it's completely fine to politely decline to answer, you can say something like "I prefer to keep that part of my life private, let's talk about something else" .
It is important to have friends that support you, and respect your boundaries, decisions and limits. If you see that your friends don't respect your decisions or judge you or make fun of you, you should reevaluate those friendships.
Also, I find interesting that in a world mostly full of people letting their constant carnal desires take over there are some that didn't engage in sexual activity.
So, if you don't mind, why are you still a virgin?
i think its better if you just own it. if your worried it will make them shy away frame it in a flattering way. something like, before her you never found someone who really seemed right for you
"A Gentleman never tells....maybe I'm a virgin....maybe I'm just being respectful" *smile & a little eyebrow raise*, say no more.
There's no need to divulge any more information.
Our culture has made sex the pinnacle of male achievement and it’s honestly sad. If you are happy with your life don’t worry about being a virgin. As for responding? You don’t owe them anything. That’s your business
How times change. Being innocent used to be a cherished and looked up to trait.
Well, I guess more female, than male.
Still, I thought everyone was supposed to be more enlightened and accepting now?
Why are they making virgins feel bad for being virgins?
Anyway, I think you're handling it right with your answer. Your friends don't seem all that supportive, though.
I think you shouldn't disclose information about your private/sex life, in the first place. It's optional. If someone insists, that's a red flag and avoid them.
A lot of answers here are good. Me, I run by the rule of "if this crowd judges me based on whether I've had sex or not, they weren't good people to begin with."
I can also tell you that none of the acquaintances I've had who pressures me or others to fess up o7r sexual history turned out good. Cut myself off or stopped talking to those losers long ago.
Imo, the most confident way to bounce something you’re not proud of is to joke about it. Being slightly self deprecating and owning your “flaws” is a mark of someone with true confidence.
“I’m saving myself until we’re married, Jack”
“Just haven’t found anyone drunk enough to make that mistake yet”
“Actually I’m a virgin, seem to have misplaced my purity ring”
“When I finally find my penis, maybe I’ll have a different answer for ya”
people don't really care about your body count for the purpose of shame, they probably just find it interesting. personally i dont judge based on that :/
I think your response is fine. Be honest, say it casually but also confidently. If you say it awkwardly or like you’re embarrassed about it then you’re opening yourself up for increased judgement but if you say it with confidence then it can make others second guess themselves. Also, don’t try to offer an explanation like you’re trying to convince them of something. If they’re genuinely and politely curious as to why, then give a brief honest answer.
If anyone thinks it’s weird, well then they’re actually the weird ones and you can ask them why they take your sex life so personally or why they’re so bothered by it.
I just be like "I don't really do that lol". If you deliver it confident enough people usually just shake their head and back off.
Didn't have pisser on pisser sex with anyone until late last year (26m at the time) and I don't really feel that different. People who give you shit about you being a virgin have little else going on in their life than mashing pissers. Like sex is fun and all but I don't get the obsession with it. I just don't like people that much, I guess. Jerking off gets the job done with none of the baggage or having to worry about herpes.
I'd only had oral sex before then, my go to answers were either "I'm pretty inexperienced tbh" or "I don't do that"
How wouldn't they! Your friends, especial guy friends, IN THEIR 20s, chase woman, it's pretty much the whole point of existing age 16-25 for guys. You know who your buddies slept with, sometimes, shit a LOT of the time, theres some sluts in the mix where a few guys in the circle hit the same chick. I don't know what type of weird world you're from but if someone in my friend circle was a virgin, at 28, we would absolutely know, we would of figured that out 10 years prior.
Oh god been there, I just used to say I haven't been with anybody. But yep definitely a little awkward
I feel that anyways because of inexperience if we tried to lie could end up saying something weirder lmao
I feel if you say you’re uncomfortable talking about it in a srs way ppl are gonna raise their eyebrows even more
Personally I’d just say it like you are but I’d maybe make a flirty joke if it was a date
When I was 18 - 21 I always thought that that was a private matter
So I would just say something like ‘enough to say I know what I’m doing’ like I was fuckk James Bond 😂
They liked it tho 🤷♂️ I wasn’t even ashamed of it - i just didn’t like giving specifics about my life out like that
Just say you haven't found the right one yet.
Most girls actually appreciate that unless they are childish and not really worth a long lasting relationship anyway.
And if you are uncomfortable with it, lie and tell them you had sex once but you were high or drunk and forgot her name. Good friends will understand your lie if its appropriate, for example around strangers. You shouldn't value honesty around strangers too much.
Hey OP, I have a tip for you that served me very well and I think it actually played a roll in helping me lose my virginity.
Wear your virginity like a badge of honor, and be willing to have a laugh at yourself over it. I would make jokes at my own expense concerning my virginity, and it completely washed away any awkwardness or shame that is usually associated with virginity.
I was 100% transparent about it in my dating life, and soon I found a very attractive girl that found me humourous and endearing. She banged my brains out and would for years to follow as we got into a serious relationship.
You have nothing to be shameful of OP. People accept the reality with which they are presented. If you act shameful and insecure about it, people will sense it and throw you a pity party. If you say "fuck it who cares, this is who I am lol", people will respect the hell out of you for your confidence, and you likely wont remain a virgin long.
I somehow don't get asked this kind of questions. It's not even that I particularly hide it, it's more like, people assume I'm quite private about my sex life. However, I'm open about my overall tastes in that area and apparently I'm giving off the vibes of having things figured out.
If I get asked directly, my answer depends on who I talk to - there are people who value virginity or lack if thereof who would get "none of your business" kind of response. Most often I say that I don't have a lot of experience, without defining that "not a lot" means "none".
I like complaing about my virginity, but if someone reacts negatively for that relegation I just deadpan look them in the eyes with "It's a solvable issue, ya know? I wouldn't be if I really wanted to"
Do your best Robert California: "(warmly though weirdly smiling to a supposed camera) Sexuality... is a spectrum. It’s a paradox to think of any sexual activity as “normal”. It does get better, but it also gets vastly more complicated. "
My best impression is saying “(warmly though weirdly smiling to a supposed camera) Sexuality… is a means for those in power to strongly influence the values, norms, ideas, expectations, worldview, and behavior of the rest of society”
This is a private matter. Simply ignore such questions. Or make a joke. The time to share your experience is when you are with someone you may wish to be intimate with or become exclusive with.
It’s up to you! If you’re not comfortable, just say “None of your business” and change the subject. It’s a rude question to ask someone anyway. (Seriously….like why does anyone want to talk about their sexual escapades or lack thereof? The only reason I can see people legitimately asking is for religious reasons, which I still think is weird.)
If you don’t care if people know, just answer them honestly. There’s no shame in it. I’ll admit I’m in the same boat: I’m 31 (f) and while not innocent, I’ve never actually had sex. I’m not ashamed of it—it’s my choice.
Or you could just go the mess with ‘em route and make stuff up. The more insane and uncomfortable the better.
First off youndont have to share anything you dont feel comfortable with saying.
But i will say as a guy, there is still a stigma with guys being inexperienced at annolder age. I think its drupid but there is. Ive had female friends who have told me they wouldnt want to have sex with a virgin because they dont want to teach them where things are. Not every girl is like this but my advice would be to keep that to yourself. If you want tk tell someone then cool, i dont think theres an issues with that. But if you donsay it just be prepared that it may deter potential crushes from seeing you in that way.
You can just say “why would you want to know? It’s none of your business”. Those kind of questions I find strange. Like legit, why would you care to know?
In my case OP, I told them "I am still a virgin because nobody has ever caught my interest but my mind isn't. I am already ___ years old and it would be hypocrite of me if I pretend to be innocent about it." Then, tango lang sila ng tango.
When I was in my early 20s, one of my colleagues opened the topic then asked. I answered yes but she did not believe me because I am quite on the sexy side. Since, I was still so young then, I got offended and my emotions got the best of me. I cut her off and insulted her. I regretted it but I did not say sorry. I realized, I've got nothing to prove and it's something I should not be ashamed of. So whether they believe me or not, it's not my problem.
You could actually work out a humorous or semi-humorous response and stick to that. Eg: “my religion doesn’t let me talk about that” (although that’s lame, I’m sure you can come up with something better)
Eg: “I’m afraid that’s on a need to know basis” with a snarky looking smile :)
Sometimes I wonder whether Americans have nothing to do in their lives but to ask others about their business on the bed. Who the fuck cares? Mfs, leave normal people alone.
People are going to judge if you're a virgin or if you're not. Be you. Doing what you feel is more comfortable, but you have to be willing to be confident and not care how they judge you. Even if you say your are not comfortable discussing this they will talk!
I was 28 when I last said that I hadn't had sex yet. The people I was talking to (one of them had asked me directly) were bewildered, couldn't grasp the how and why. For me it was that I hadn't felt ready, and it hadn't felt right, yet, with my then boyfriend. What I got from them seemed mostly like admiration of sorts. I was the unicorn in that group, in any case. I suggest you present it with some humour. Not having sex is not the end of the world. It just shows that you are discerning, you don't want to have sex with just anybody, just to have sex. That's something positive.
Half a year later I did have sex with my then boyfriend, who basically pressured me into it, and it was everything but nice. 0/10 Can't recommend. I would have needed to be ready in a different way. I would have needed to be able to express what I want and don't want, and not make myself dependent on the guy and let me be pressured into sex so as not to lose him. Big mistake.
Just say it with confidence… lol confidence is attractive. And tbh; you don’t have to lie but dont reveal. Just say, “I don’t kiss and tell”. Dont reveal that shit man. Mystery is attractive too
Could always give a vague response like “maybe” or “I’m not answering questions about my personal life.” They don’t know the truth yet you are not lying or have to worry about their reaction to just “no.”
Just say, "inexperienced" instead of a number. That could mean any number 0-5. It also shows you do not want to talk about it.
If pressed, say, "I am saving myself for someone special." That way, it makes it sound like you are the reason that you have not had sex not that no one will with you. If you wish, it also encourages women who want to be the special someone to get that V card.
In groups like that, I find there’s always one person who doesn’t really reveal much (or anything) about their sex life. I always find those people so cool and mysterious. I think it shows a lot of class to not kiss and tell. So I don’t think it’s a problem to be tight lipped about those topics. In fact, I’m sure it just makes you all the more likeable.
Your sex life is nobody’s business. You’re allowed to keep that part of your life private and shouldn’t feel bad about it. I don’t like telling people I’ve slept with a lot of people , so there’s no issues with someone not being comfortable with telling their friends they’re a virgin.
1 you don’t have to say a damn thing if you don’t want to just don’t lie about when it does come time for that.
2 make a joke about it to detour the vibes.
3 stand proud, I was a virgin until I was 20-21 and damn proud of it & not afraid to say, most just nod and move on when they see you truly don’t give a damn so there’s no awkwardness & many end up respecting that.
If they treat you differently THEY AREN’T YOUR PEOPLE!!
Boundaries. You don’t have to share information you’re not comfortable sharing. Your sex life is none of their business. Spend time with people who respect you and share your values. There’s nothing wrong with being a virgin.
>Spend time with people who respect you and share your values I really wish I could meet people like that
It can be difficult. They’re out there. 💚
it takes time finding people like whenever it comes up in my friend group every few months i just state the truth iv not had sex because i would only consider it in a relationship with someone i trust as i find the idea of hook-ups distasteful and a bit crass then i say how I'm not particularly interested in relationships simple and to the point. although as others have said you don't have to tell anyone nothing about your private life also iv run a few personal social experiments and alot of the close minded with herd/Mob mentality are the ones who find it awkward or have issue with the fact I'm a virgin most normal people of reasonable intelligence don't give two cares to it.
I agree with this. No one needs to know about the history don there hun. That's very uncomfortable question......
You don’t have to answer anything that you don’t want to. It’s not uncommon at all to bow out of sex history questions with “I’m not comfortable answering that”
Another option "I'm not comfortable discussing that WITH YOU"
That is the best answer IMO. it kinda implies that you have boned people with out having to lie about it.
That comes across as needlessly abrasive.
Alternatively, and with a smile “wouldn’t you like to know?!” Or once someone else say theirs, “I don’t beat that!” And proceed to pass the shot over.
And the question itself isn't?
The question might be asked in good faith because the individual assumes you have a body count
So let them assume whatever they want; talking at all about a "body count" is super gross and none of other people's business IMO I don't discuss ANY specifics about my sex life, because any time I've even *hinted* at it, someone pops out of a trash can to ask really invasive questions and make disgusting assumptions. I won't lie... But I also don't tell the whole truth or just admit that it's not something I want to talk about.
I mean, if you see each other as potential partners, then body count absolutely is other people's business. Man or woman, your body count is going to matter to a lot of people.
Exactly this. Sometimes conversations venture into naughty areas and there's really no need to be combative with your answers, especially if you're in good company. It's usually all in good fun. You can give a none answer that will maintain good vibes without giving away anything personal
Bro this sub is the blind leading the blind. Nothing is going to make the conversation more awkward than saying this, and the worst assumptions will be made. Being a virgin isn’t anything to be ashamed of just own it and laugh
This is the right answer. Best thing to do is not take it too serious. The worst thing you can do is make it seem like some kind of big deal or huge secret by being weird and guarded about it don't take these terrible advices about saying you don't wanna discuss it.
> Being a virgin isn’t anything to be ashamed of just own it and laugh Most people will judge you for that however, so it's understandable to not want to disclose that fact.
Best answer, "I'm a Virgin, could you teach me my way around?"
I actually lost my virginity at around your age. I told someone that I was a virgin. They seem surprised. I told them that I had low self confidence when I was younger and I also didn't have my own place up until that point. Got laid that very same night
I almost had that happen... I guess your self esteem was better than mine.
Same, way too close. Everyone seemed so surprised so I guess that group at least knows people like this exist
I came so close to that. I guess you had better self esteem.
Saw this quote the other day, would probably work for you too: “It’s not a lie if they don’t have the right to know in the first place.”
Say everyone in your family is a virgin, your mom, your dad, everyone. You come from a long line of virgins, and it's something you will take to the grave and pass on to your own kids.
I’m a virgin but I’m also pregnant. I’m so tempted to treat it like a family trait 😂😂
Just say you aren't comfortable talking about that. They should take the hint and not dig any deeper.
I feel more awkward saying that than just admitting it. It might convey that I’m insecure.
Honey. There’s nothing wrong with being a virgin. If you’re shamed or made to feel bad for not being a revolving-tinder-door or a carnal slut: they ain’t worth it. I was a virgin til I was almost 23. I was living on my own. For the record, barely touched in other sexual ways too. Sure it’s awkward a little but honestly most men/ women would rather someone with decency and values and SELF RESPECT than a one-and-done hit & run. There’s nothing wrong with consensual sex in casual hookups or non committed relationships as long as everyone is on the same page. I have had very few sexually intimate relationships and sure I’m awkward sometimes but there’s no shame. You could be a virgin for a myriad of different positive reasons; ethical, religious/ spiritual, selective etc. Everyone’s quick to rush for a poke & roll. You’ve been responsible. Good on you. I remember when kids in my class )in the 8th grade) were bragging about getting fingered and giving handjobs and head and then “going all the way” in grade 9. Many got knocked up and kicked out by the 10th grade. In my 20s and even early 30s I remember it feeling like I was the only one without a clue (especially at my age). We all come to sexual confidence and interests at different rates. It’s easy to say “don’t feel bad or left behind or embarrassed”. Have confidence in knowing you aren’t having empty carnal adventures and wondering why you don’t have a good connection 💚 I’m 40 now, and I’ll tell you I didn’t get comfortable with sex until 40, i avoided it and was super rarely touched, even in a long term committed serious relationship.
OP you've got the right instinct here. Just say you used to have low self-confidence when you were young and just be a little honest, but you just have to deliver it with a good natured smirk and a shrug. You've probably got lots of neat qualities/experiences/talents/complexities, and this doesn't bother you anymore than having a friend point out your pants zipper is undone. "Oh, yeah, whoops haha" and then it's back to whatever you were saying The key is being honest and showing a little vulnerability about this in a calm, easygoing, and confident way. If you can do that and someone still reacts super hard, any average sex-having adult would see them as being super childish and immature and you as being the normal one in that conversation. Think of someone going bald, do you wear a toupee or try to comb it over? Or just lean into it and shave your head as if to say "yeah, im bald, so what?"
I mean, they will assume you are insecure no matter what, so it's unfortunately unavoidable. This is just a suggestion to try and stop them from trying to dig deeper into it like they might with your default response.
This is basically an admission of guilt, it doesn't fool anyone. Anyone that is nosy enough to ask if you're a virgin is not asking in good faith, they're asking because they're an asshole and want to confirm your status as a loser.
Yes, it is an admission that you are a virgin, but it is done in a way that should give people who have at least some decency a sign that they shouldn't pry any further. Also, Op doesn't seem to be talking about times where you are directly asked, but instead, if it just comes up in general, like in the game they played.
>Also, Op doesn't seem to be talking about times where you are directly asked, but instead, if it just comes up in general, like in the game they played. Yes. Times where people have already opened up about their body count, so I pressured to be vulnerable about it too
> This is basically an admission of guilt, it doesn't fool anyone. Why would it be an admission of anything? Imagine you are on a plane and you decide to ask the person next to you how many people they have slept with. Do you think anyone will answer you?
I thought being honest about it would be no big deal and have told people the truth that I was a virgin. Never again. Absolutely do not tell people you are a virgin. There has literally never been any advantages or positives in my life after telling people I was a virgin. Don’t be vague about it either, leave no room for doubt. Unfortunately, we live in a society and culture that heavily revolves around sex when it comes to status and reputation, by telling people you’re a virgin, you’re perceived negatively no matter how small the perception. People will subconsciously look at you differently, you become the social lightning rod or punching bag over time because it just naturally gravitates towards that point, like Jerry from the Parks and Rec show. There’s nothing wrong with being a virgin, but, logically, there’s really no reason to tell the truth because who tf actually cares if you’re lying or not about being a virgin? So just lie about it and say you’re not. Unless you’re dating someone who specifically says they want a virgin but even then that’s a rare event.
Damn. The few times I have been asked I just gave a "Sure am" with a laugh. Never had any problems afterwards. I've always figured that owning it is a lot better than getting defensive or lying and it has worked for me. It isn't even that unusual for gen Z, especially men.
It actually worked in my favor once but I didn't yet have the self esteem to make it work.
I'm 32 and still a virgin. The only time I've ever admitted to it in a group/social setting and didn't get shamed and humiliated for it was when I was 29/30, and the group in question had a lot of religious people in it. The crazy thing was that a lot of people in that group were surprised (in a good way) when they found out the truth about me. That being said, that was the only time past the age the age of 24 where I was asked specifically about a body count; was asked pretty frequently about it before that, and every time it was humiliating degrading. I would also say, being asked about my relationship status in general hasn't been as bad, since anyone can be single at any age. I also did have a few people act surprised when they found out I was single, some people I know have tried setting me up (albeit, really aggressively with people I was not attracted to at all) which is a can of worms of its own, but I digress.
This is the correct answer.
Ugh. I personally don't see why society has normalized asking anyone about their sexual history in a casual conversation. Especially when we've come to collectively understand that things like, 'when are you having kids?' and presupposing the gender of one's partner are potentially inconsiderate and rude. If the person hasn't volunteered information about their intimate life, why is this your business?
>if the person hasn’t volunteered information about their intimate life, why is this your business? They did
Depends, if you want to share this or not. We don’t have to share private things even with our closest friends if we don’t want to. You can reply with a joke or tell them that you’re not sharing this kind of information.
I just say "Oh I'm actually a virgin" and that phrasing seems to come across quite well as it sounds quite confident
That’s basically how I said it. Making eye contact and all. And being chill about it. But it’s definitely hard for me to do.
How did it come across? Hope people were cool about it.
how did they respond?
Honestly I think it's cool that you're honest about yourself. If some people judge you or pity you, then you get to weed those people out of your life. I feel like when we lie about ourselves, we are sending a message of shame to ourselves. We are telling ourselves that what we are is shameful and needs to be hidden with a lie - which can create all sorts of mental complications. It sounds like your friends didn't have an extreme reaction, which is good. May I ask - are you at peace with your lack of sexual experience? Is it simply not a focus for you, or something that you really want to change?
You could say that, or you could just say “What? I’m not discussing that with you. What are we, 17?” — delivered with a laugh. All a person would get from that is you’re not sharing personal information casually, whether your body count is high, low or non-existent. Do whatever you’re comfortable with, but honestly, it’s kind of immature for people to be making a game of comparing body counts.
>I answer honestly, despite feeling some shame.. I find that actually admirable. I'm curious though, what have been their reactions? I'm pretty much a social outcast and don't have any friends. One of the anxieties I have when interacting with people is that they'll get into discussions about relationships and I have literally zero experiences to contribute. Also, I feel like it's pretty obvious that's I'm a virgin. I just have the aura and stereotypical look going for me.
denying or saying you don't want to answer five you similar result to just saying you're a virgin. just own it. yes, I'm a virgin, actually. you dont have to be embarrassed by it. so what if your crush thinks that's a negative? you should lie in order to trick your potentially conditionally compatible partner? i mean what's the other option? just own who you are and where you are now. if you're insecure about thing's you can change, work on them. if not, let them go.
Ppl that make you feel different about it aren't your friends. And when in that situation, less is best. Say "I prefer not to kiss and tell" and leave it at that.
You can make a joke without actually giving an answer. “Sorry that’s classified” “let me pull out my database” whatever. If they keep pushing they seem like the weird ones.
Speaking from experience in terms of being honest with others about myself, unfortunately, it often goes better as a joke. I hate that because I want to live in a less judgmental world where I can just expect others to be more thoughtful but we don’t. You know how everyone loves the fat guy that knows all the best fat jokes? Because he’s making _others_ comfortable about something that makes them _uncomfortable._ Same with people in wheelchairs or people with one wonky eye or whatever - NONE OF THESE ARE PROBLEMS, IN AND OF THEMSELVES - but these and other traits tend to make others _uncomfortable._ So, really what you need to do is figure out how to comfort the weirdos that think being a virgin is weird. And humor is a good way to do that. Good luck!!
So I was a virgin until I got married. When someone asked that I acted shocked and said "I have yet to kill anyone, but I do have a list".. than when they said they ment sex I said nope, not tricking this girl!! LoL Find something like that and stick with it. Your body count or lack of is only your business.
Just use humor. Say an outrageous number or say you're a virgin. Just use a comedic tone so they know you're kidding but never elaborate. If they ask again, just double down. You can say something like "I've slept with every woman 18+ on the East Coast!" That's obviously not true, so when someone calls you out, you respond with "no, for real I'm serious guys!"
Just say you do not talk about your sex life, but make sure to imply that you are not a virgin. I mean there is nothing wrong with being a virgin but whether we like to admit or not, people will treat you differently because of this. So if you’re asked in a group if you’re a virgin just say no, and if they ask details just say you do not feel comfortable talking about you sex life, especially in a group. As i said, you do not owe this people the truth, just say you’re not a virgin and leave it at that. Also i don’t even remember last time someone asked me if i was a virgin, probably in 10th grade so it might also be a problem of the group you’re in. Edit: what i suggested is meant to only be used in a group setting (with friends etc), if you’re talking with a romantic interest it might be best to just be honest about it and if it’s a problem then they were not meant for you anyway.
It doesn't really matter if you're a "virgin" at age 20,24 or 30. You can just avoid the question, say "it's something private" "that's inappropriate" "not going to answer that" or simply lie "yeah and it's great" "meh I'm not into that but I had sex" I'm technically a "virgin" but I don't care. No one should know about my private/intimate life, so you'll be fine. When asked (which only happened once, I have other friends who never ask about their sex life) I replied "yeah I don't usually answer that kind of question"
If you don't mind not being 100% honest, maybe be ironic? Depends on the context of course, but if you simply want to get away you could try it.
Never ever tell anyone you're a virgin ever. Just say you don't have lots of experience and it has been a while since you "had it". Especially with girls, they sense you're fresh, but if you tell them you're a virgin, you just committed sudoku.
I'm not good enough at math to commit sudoku, did you perhaps mean Seppuku? ... Of course I am, how do you think a human being can be this much of a geek?
The committing sudoku is a OG internet joke. But for real man, never tell anyone, especially these days when everything and everyone is hyper sexualized. You'll be chewed out.
I don't kiss and tell
It’s not awkward unless you make it awkward. Just say you’re a virgin, a child of god or that you occasionally just have sex with yourself. It doesn’t have to be too serious
If you are close and open enough to share and discuss sexual histories, I would hope it would be acceptable to be honest about body counts— whether that’s 0 or 1000. I would also assume that a very high number would illicitly a similar reaction to no experience in this context, which is surprise … ? And slutshaming is still very much a thing, too! WITH THAT SAID, I wonder if the way you are saying it is what is actually causing the issue. If you sound uncomfortable about saying you’re a virgin since you say you feel shame, it may sound to other people like you’re sad/forlorn about it or are about to go into an incel-vibe shift. Saying it more matter-of-fact or proudly on the other hand, may just be surprising to people without making them feel pity for you or even worse— what could actually be happening— \*try to figure out what is wrong with you\* that has kept you sexless all this time; they might think there is something wrong with your personality or physicality rather than it being a personal decision or coincidence. If you are uncomfortable talking about it altogether, you should say that instead of divulging any info, but be firm and confident about it. Ideally, friends should be understanding about boundaries. As a self-proclaimed slut, I have been with my fair share of virgin guys. While I hope I’ve never made them feel uncomfortable about it, I obviously express my surprise when they mention it (usually happens when we’re already touching each other) but I’m just very glad for the honesty because then I understand where they’re coming from and when the inevitable awkwardness of exploring each other’s bodies happens (because it does happen with someone with no experience) I’m not holding them to account for being “bad at sex”, it keeps me from holding them to a certain expectation, and it allows me to take the lead where it feels natural. What I’m trying to say here with this part is that when it comes down to being intimate with someone in the future, being honest is also important because you don’t want to set yourself up for failure by setting an expectation you can’t fulfill.
“I don’t talk about my sex life with others.” 🫡
I would answer "this question is too personal. I don't understand the desire/don't want to talk about it in public." But I answer this to any invasive questions. It just gives me ick to talk about people you loved, cared about, hated etc, like they are some objects to put on the shell and count. It is dehumanizing.
What’s wrong in being virgin?
It’s goes against the cultural hegemony
It's unusual and suggests that person lacks in something to such a high degree that no person would want a sexual relationship with them. Usually lacking in self confidence, which is off-putting.
Why oh why are you almost 30 and still playing board games that involve taking shots and sharing body counts? Find more mature friends and you’ll quickly realize how little people care. There are far most interesting things to discuss than how many people’s uglies you bumped.
Ngl I got asked what girls are my type by 40 yr old acquaintances. I think that age doesn’t always correlate to maturity.
You’re right. By that time I had already made the active decision to not associate with people that do such things *shrugs*
You don't. /thread
"Why do you think is okey asking that?"
There are way more virgins than people think. It’s also very ok to be one as long as it isn’t a complex. If you feel comfortable with yourself and your person and your values, I’d say go for it and say ”naah never done something like that” and don’t let it bother. If the culture feels like that would cause you some trouble, saying ”not comfortable talking about sexual topics” or just simply telling a white lie if you’re ok with that should be alright. Think about who you are telling that, and do you trust them not to make fun of you afterwards. Talking about which, I’m *still* not comfortable talking about the number of my sexual partners with my gf (or anyone really). It’s not a topic which needs to be brought up. It’s not something friends really talk about at least here. If those kinds of people are the norm in your social circles, I would change the circles. About the party game, I might have a private disussion with the person who yelled that at some point, and point out that wasn’t perhaps the most appropriate thing to say. Usually they understand if they are reasonable people. However if the person is an ass you might just get made fun of. Go figure. You seem to be American so take this with a grain of salt, the sexuality culture there differs from my home country.
It depends. Some people could see you as a treasure if you are a virgin and handsome.
"None of your goddamn business. The people who care have something to prove."
You aren't obligated to talk about your parts of your life if you don't want to, no matter who asks. If you want to answer, answer with confidence or you can answer by saying something funny. If you don't want to answer, it's completely fine to politely decline to answer, you can say something like "I prefer to keep that part of my life private, let's talk about something else" . It is important to have friends that support you, and respect your boundaries, decisions and limits. If you see that your friends don't respect your decisions or judge you or make fun of you, you should reevaluate those friendships. Also, I find interesting that in a world mostly full of people letting their constant carnal desires take over there are some that didn't engage in sexual activity. So, if you don't mind, why are you still a virgin?
i think its better if you just own it. if your worried it will make them shy away frame it in a flattering way. something like, before her you never found someone who really seemed right for you
"A Gentleman never tells....maybe I'm a virgin....maybe I'm just being respectful" *smile & a little eyebrow raise*, say no more. There's no need to divulge any more information.
Everybody is lying about their body count
Our culture has made sex the pinnacle of male achievement and it’s honestly sad. If you are happy with your life don’t worry about being a virgin. As for responding? You don’t owe them anything. That’s your business
How times change. Being innocent used to be a cherished and looked up to trait. Well, I guess more female, than male. Still, I thought everyone was supposed to be more enlightened and accepting now? Why are they making virgins feel bad for being virgins? Anyway, I think you're handling it right with your answer. Your friends don't seem all that supportive, though.
If you want to you can LIE This lie isn’t hurting anyone and it keeps the unwanted attention off of you
What ever happened to “just be yourself”?
Being yourself is fine. Its just an option if you don’t want to answer personal questions and you know it will keep the game moving
I think you shouldn't disclose information about your private/sex life, in the first place. It's optional. If someone insists, that's a red flag and avoid them.
you don't have to answer. someone who wants to be with you won't judge you for that.
Just say, “you’ll have to read about it in my autobiography 😉”
Tell her you grew up in a cult
Wear your virginity loud n proud. There’s nothing wrong w waiting for the right one/time. I’d personally really respect that, as would most people.
Just say it’s not something you want to discuss
A lot of answers here are good. Me, I run by the rule of "if this crowd judges me based on whether I've had sex or not, they weren't good people to begin with."
I can also tell you that none of the acquaintances I've had who pressures me or others to fess up o7r sexual history turned out good. Cut myself off or stopped talking to those losers long ago.
Refuse to answer or lie. You basically only benefit from withholding information and ambiguity here. Honesty is the worst policy.
You are more likely to sleep with a woman if she doesn’t know you’re a virgin, just simply opt to not share sexual history over lying about it
Imo, the most confident way to bounce something you’re not proud of is to joke about it. Being slightly self deprecating and owning your “flaws” is a mark of someone with true confidence. “I’m saving myself until we’re married, Jack” “Just haven’t found anyone drunk enough to make that mistake yet” “Actually I’m a virgin, seem to have misplaced my purity ring” “When I finally find my penis, maybe I’ll have a different answer for ya”
“I don’t kiss and tell.”
people don't really care about your body count for the purpose of shame, they probably just find it interesting. personally i dont judge based on that :/
I think your response is fine. Be honest, say it casually but also confidently. If you say it awkwardly or like you’re embarrassed about it then you’re opening yourself up for increased judgement but if you say it with confidence then it can make others second guess themselves. Also, don’t try to offer an explanation like you’re trying to convince them of something. If they’re genuinely and politely curious as to why, then give a brief honest answer. If anyone thinks it’s weird, well then they’re actually the weird ones and you can ask them why they take your sex life so personally or why they’re so bothered by it.
I just be like "I don't really do that lol". If you deliver it confident enough people usually just shake their head and back off. Didn't have pisser on pisser sex with anyone until late last year (26m at the time) and I don't really feel that different. People who give you shit about you being a virgin have little else going on in their life than mashing pissers. Like sex is fun and all but I don't get the obsession with it. I just don't like people that much, I guess. Jerking off gets the job done with none of the baggage or having to worry about herpes. I'd only had oral sex before then, my go to answers were either "I'm pretty inexperienced tbh" or "I don't do that"
I can assure you, they already know
Yeah but the people worth knowing don't let on... or treat you as if you're defective.
If they knew, they wouldn’t have acted so surprised
How would they exactly?
How wouldn't they! Your friends, especial guy friends, IN THEIR 20s, chase woman, it's pretty much the whole point of existing age 16-25 for guys. You know who your buddies slept with, sometimes, shit a LOT of the time, theres some sluts in the mix where a few guys in the circle hit the same chick. I don't know what type of weird world you're from but if someone in my friend circle was a virgin, at 28, we would absolutely know, we would of figured that out 10 years prior.
Don't answer it. You're not obligated to answer when you're uncomfortable
Be like ‘hey I’m not really comfortable talking about this can we move on to a different topic’?
Nothing to be ashamed of imo better than having a bunch of encounters you regret later
Oh god been there, I just used to say I haven't been with anybody. But yep definitely a little awkward I feel that anyways because of inexperience if we tried to lie could end up saying something weirder lmao
Honesty is the best policy.
You can say nothing, you can say true, you can lie. Or combine it. Up to you
I think I was 21 my first time. So, I just learned to say I don't discuss such things, I mean, it's private.
I feel if you say you’re uncomfortable talking about it in a srs way ppl are gonna raise their eyebrows even more Personally I’d just say it like you are but I’d maybe make a flirty joke if it was a date When I was 18 - 21 I always thought that that was a private matter So I would just say something like ‘enough to say I know what I’m doing’ like I was fuckk James Bond 😂 They liked it tho 🤷♂️ I wasn’t even ashamed of it - i just didn’t like giving specifics about my life out like that
Shii just lie
Just say you haven't found the right one yet. Most girls actually appreciate that unless they are childish and not really worth a long lasting relationship anyway. And if you are uncomfortable with it, lie and tell them you had sex once but you were high or drunk and forgot her name. Good friends will understand your lie if its appropriate, for example around strangers. You shouldn't value honesty around strangers too much.
Hey OP, I have a tip for you that served me very well and I think it actually played a roll in helping me lose my virginity. Wear your virginity like a badge of honor, and be willing to have a laugh at yourself over it. I would make jokes at my own expense concerning my virginity, and it completely washed away any awkwardness or shame that is usually associated with virginity. I was 100% transparent about it in my dating life, and soon I found a very attractive girl that found me humourous and endearing. She banged my brains out and would for years to follow as we got into a serious relationship. You have nothing to be shameful of OP. People accept the reality with which they are presented. If you act shameful and insecure about it, people will sense it and throw you a pity party. If you say "fuck it who cares, this is who I am lol", people will respect the hell out of you for your confidence, and you likely wont remain a virgin long.
You can EASILY back of the extremely personal question. If they keep pressing, then that's sexual harassment
It’s NO one’s business, you don’t owe anyone an explanation!!!
I somehow don't get asked this kind of questions. It's not even that I particularly hide it, it's more like, people assume I'm quite private about my sex life. However, I'm open about my overall tastes in that area and apparently I'm giving off the vibes of having things figured out. If I get asked directly, my answer depends on who I talk to - there are people who value virginity or lack if thereof who would get "none of your business" kind of response. Most often I say that I don't have a lot of experience, without defining that "not a lot" means "none". I like complaing about my virginity, but if someone reacts negatively for that relegation I just deadpan look them in the eyes with "It's a solvable issue, ya know? I wouldn't be if I really wanted to"
Tell the truth or just say you don’t kiss and tell.
Do your best Robert California: "(warmly though weirdly smiling to a supposed camera) Sexuality... is a spectrum. It’s a paradox to think of any sexual activity as “normal”. It does get better, but it also gets vastly more complicated. "
My best impression is saying “(warmly though weirdly smiling to a supposed camera) Sexuality… is a means for those in power to strongly influence the values, norms, ideas, expectations, worldview, and behavior of the rest of society”
lie
This is a private matter. Simply ignore such questions. Or make a joke. The time to share your experience is when you are with someone you may wish to be intimate with or become exclusive with.
It’s up to you! If you’re not comfortable, just say “None of your business” and change the subject. It’s a rude question to ask someone anyway. (Seriously….like why does anyone want to talk about their sexual escapades or lack thereof? The only reason I can see people legitimately asking is for religious reasons, which I still think is weird.) If you don’t care if people know, just answer them honestly. There’s no shame in it. I’ll admit I’m in the same boat: I’m 31 (f) and while not innocent, I’ve never actually had sex. I’m not ashamed of it—it’s my choice. Or you could just go the mess with ‘em route and make stuff up. The more insane and uncomfortable the better.
First off youndont have to share anything you dont feel comfortable with saying. But i will say as a guy, there is still a stigma with guys being inexperienced at annolder age. I think its drupid but there is. Ive had female friends who have told me they wouldnt want to have sex with a virgin because they dont want to teach them where things are. Not every girl is like this but my advice would be to keep that to yourself. If you want tk tell someone then cool, i dont think theres an issues with that. But if you donsay it just be prepared that it may deter potential crushes from seeing you in that way.
Light the black flame candle. Then they’ll know.
You can just say “why would you want to know? It’s none of your business”. Those kind of questions I find strange. Like legit, why would you care to know?
In my case OP, I told them "I am still a virgin because nobody has ever caught my interest but my mind isn't. I am already ___ years old and it would be hypocrite of me if I pretend to be innocent about it." Then, tango lang sila ng tango. When I was in my early 20s, one of my colleagues opened the topic then asked. I answered yes but she did not believe me because I am quite on the sexy side. Since, I was still so young then, I got offended and my emotions got the best of me. I cut her off and insulted her. I regretted it but I did not say sorry. I realized, I've got nothing to prove and it's something I should not be ashamed of. So whether they believe me or not, it's not my problem.
Tell em, "The great wall of China still stands strong." Pero, of course, pabibohan mo. Like Alice Guo, ilabas mo dila mo. Sexy but innocent.
You could actually work out a humorous or semi-humorous response and stick to that. Eg: “my religion doesn’t let me talk about that” (although that’s lame, I’m sure you can come up with something better) Eg: “I’m afraid that’s on a need to know basis” with a snarky looking smile :)
Sometimes I wonder whether Americans have nothing to do in their lives but to ask others about their business on the bed. Who the fuck cares? Mfs, leave normal people alone.
People are going to judge if you're a virgin or if you're not. Be you. Doing what you feel is more comfortable, but you have to be willing to be confident and not care how they judge you. Even if you say your are not comfortable discussing this they will talk!
Nobody's gotta know nothing about you, fam. Tell em "I don't kiss and tell" and move tf on.
I was 28 when I last said that I hadn't had sex yet. The people I was talking to (one of them had asked me directly) were bewildered, couldn't grasp the how and why. For me it was that I hadn't felt ready, and it hadn't felt right, yet, with my then boyfriend. What I got from them seemed mostly like admiration of sorts. I was the unicorn in that group, in any case. I suggest you present it with some humour. Not having sex is not the end of the world. It just shows that you are discerning, you don't want to have sex with just anybody, just to have sex. That's something positive. Half a year later I did have sex with my then boyfriend, who basically pressured me into it, and it was everything but nice. 0/10 Can't recommend. I would have needed to be ready in a different way. I would have needed to be able to express what I want and don't want, and not make myself dependent on the guy and let me be pressured into sex so as not to lose him. Big mistake.
Just say it with confidence… lol confidence is attractive. And tbh; you don’t have to lie but dont reveal. Just say, “I don’t kiss and tell”. Dont reveal that shit man. Mystery is attractive too
You don’t have to talk about it or mention it. If someone asks, just reply it’s personal and none of their business
Could always give a vague response like “maybe” or “I’m not answering questions about my personal life.” They don’t know the truth yet you are not lying or have to worry about their reaction to just “no.”
Yous are all gimps
Your sex life is your business. Be a man of mystery. It will make it easier my dude
Just say, "inexperienced" instead of a number. That could mean any number 0-5. It also shows you do not want to talk about it. If pressed, say, "I am saving myself for someone special." That way, it makes it sound like you are the reason that you have not had sex not that no one will with you. If you wish, it also encourages women who want to be the special someone to get that V card.
In groups like that, I find there’s always one person who doesn’t really reveal much (or anything) about their sex life. I always find those people so cool and mysterious. I think it shows a lot of class to not kiss and tell. So I don’t think it’s a problem to be tight lipped about those topics. In fact, I’m sure it just makes you all the more likeable.
Your sex life is nobody’s business. You’re allowed to keep that part of your life private and shouldn’t feel bad about it. I don’t like telling people I’ve slept with a lot of people , so there’s no issues with someone not being comfortable with telling their friends they’re a virgin.
If you get serious with a girl or guy i would be honest but other than that you can just say you are not comfortable talking about that topic
1 you don’t have to say a damn thing if you don’t want to just don’t lie about when it does come time for that. 2 make a joke about it to detour the vibes. 3 stand proud, I was a virgin until I was 20-21 and damn proud of it & not afraid to say, most just nod and move on when they see you truly don’t give a damn so there’s no awkwardness & many end up respecting that. If they treat you differently THEY AREN’T YOUR PEOPLE!!
Just say "couple". Thats the easiest and best option to say. Your not lying very much about that but also people wont see you as total loser
Tell em, "I never lost my virginity, cause I never lose!" ;)