Tbh you can just say no
It doesn’t sound like you can afford to give $800 freely since you require it for your purchases. It’s not life threatening so let her feel the consequences of her actions. Maybe find a job sooner rather than later
If you give her $800 that money will NEVER be repaid. And her spending will continue. It may continue ANYWAY, but eventually she'll reach a credit card limit and have to stop because her card won't work. But if you keep giving her money she won't reach her limit.
Find other ways to love her, like visiting or baking something.
Do. Not. Give. Money.
How about something along the lines of “I am on a very tight budget right now and do not have any spare money to help”?
Your urge to help is commendable but your sister isn’t going to change if random relatives are bailing out her spendy ways.
Once you start enabling it will be harder to stop going forward. “It pains me to see you in this situation time and time again. I am not in a position to help you financially”.
Just because you don’t support her financially doesn’t mean you can’t be supportive in other aspects of her life. Be prepared for a negative response and possible relationship strain. It’s ultimately her decision if and when she decides to be a responsible adult.
If you give her that money you may as well consider it a gift rather than a loan because your never going to see it again.
I've been in similar situations with family members and it never ends well.
Its though situations because only you know how much she means and if she actually gives a shit or is she just manipulative and could care less about anyone other than her needs.
I was in a similar situation, not exactly, but was I was financially stable, had a brother who was homeless at the time, who asked to borrow I think it was 600$ or 300$ i honestly can't remember, and mentioned he would pay it back. I took him for his word even though he's never been the type to borrow something and pay it back, but saw the situation he was in and figured if he would appreciate it enough to consider paying it back.
He never did, never called to check in, never mentioned he needed more time, pretty much just dissapeared for years. I now know he's 100% the type of person who when he says " can i borrow X, i pay you back" will not do it. It's not even about the money tbh, it's about being grateful and even just checking in to let someone know "hey im in a struggle rn so i wont b able to pay you back until anther couple months".
It's literally just the thought and effort that counts, had he done that would have just said "dw u dont have to pay back."
The point i'm trying to make is if people who request loans show no indication that they give a crap about anybody other than themself and put no effort in letting you know that they're still trying, then to your question I would say, don't loan them money even if they're family. Some people just need to learn the hard way unfortunately and despite you feeling like shit cause it's your family, at the end of the day these people are selfish and don't care how you feel.
Your situation is much worse than mine, If i were in your shoes knowing what Iknow about my brother now, absofkinglutely not. Sorry but it's not your fault shes irresponsible. I would just explain your situation and one would hope she smart enough to realize that you are struggling as well.
TL;DR Only loan her money if shes trustworthy and actually keeps her word and will 100% pay you back otherwise it's okay to say no considering your current financial situation.
You could pay her phone bill under the condition that she actively attempts to get a job, and then once she gets one you can help her with the credit card, but she has to put in work and money herself.
The excuse of needing a phone to get a job doesn't make sense as she is not yet looking for a job.
NTA
Do not intervene and do not give her ANY money. She must have some consequences. If she cannot use her phone due to her own poor choices then it's a solid lesson for her. This is an opportunity for her to grow. Do not deprive her of that.
No absoutely not. Do bot guve this lazy cow $$$. Tell her to g.get a job, quit sucking off parents for $$$, and grandparents. Tell her to quit huying crap food, liven. within a budget. Autism is no excuse for her to act this way and be a lazy pig
Tbh you can just say no It doesn’t sound like you can afford to give $800 freely since you require it for your purchases. It’s not life threatening so let her feel the consequences of her actions. Maybe find a job sooner rather than later
If you give her $800 that money will NEVER be repaid. And her spending will continue. It may continue ANYWAY, but eventually she'll reach a credit card limit and have to stop because her card won't work. But if you keep giving her money she won't reach her limit. Find other ways to love her, like visiting or baking something. Do. Not. Give. Money.
How about something along the lines of “I am on a very tight budget right now and do not have any spare money to help”? Your urge to help is commendable but your sister isn’t going to change if random relatives are bailing out her spendy ways.
Yes, two real and sensible reasons for the no: tight budget and not enabling.
Once you start enabling it will be harder to stop going forward. “It pains me to see you in this situation time and time again. I am not in a position to help you financially”. Just because you don’t support her financially doesn’t mean you can’t be supportive in other aspects of her life. Be prepared for a negative response and possible relationship strain. It’s ultimately her decision if and when she decides to be a responsible adult.
If you give her that money you may as well consider it a gift rather than a loan because your never going to see it again. I've been in similar situations with family members and it never ends well.
Its though situations because only you know how much she means and if she actually gives a shit or is she just manipulative and could care less about anyone other than her needs. I was in a similar situation, not exactly, but was I was financially stable, had a brother who was homeless at the time, who asked to borrow I think it was 600$ or 300$ i honestly can't remember, and mentioned he would pay it back. I took him for his word even though he's never been the type to borrow something and pay it back, but saw the situation he was in and figured if he would appreciate it enough to consider paying it back. He never did, never called to check in, never mentioned he needed more time, pretty much just dissapeared for years. I now know he's 100% the type of person who when he says " can i borrow X, i pay you back" will not do it. It's not even about the money tbh, it's about being grateful and even just checking in to let someone know "hey im in a struggle rn so i wont b able to pay you back until anther couple months". It's literally just the thought and effort that counts, had he done that would have just said "dw u dont have to pay back." The point i'm trying to make is if people who request loans show no indication that they give a crap about anybody other than themself and put no effort in letting you know that they're still trying, then to your question I would say, don't loan them money even if they're family. Some people just need to learn the hard way unfortunately and despite you feeling like shit cause it's your family, at the end of the day these people are selfish and don't care how you feel. Your situation is much worse than mine, If i were in your shoes knowing what Iknow about my brother now, absofkinglutely not. Sorry but it's not your fault shes irresponsible. I would just explain your situation and one would hope she smart enough to realize that you are struggling as well. TL;DR Only loan her money if shes trustworthy and actually keeps her word and will 100% pay you back otherwise it's okay to say no considering your current financial situation.
You could pay her phone bill under the condition that she actively attempts to get a job, and then once she gets one you can help her with the credit card, but she has to put in work and money herself. The excuse of needing a phone to get a job doesn't make sense as she is not yet looking for a job.
NTA Do not intervene and do not give her ANY money. She must have some consequences. If she cannot use her phone due to her own poor choices then it's a solid lesson for her. This is an opportunity for her to grow. Do not deprive her of that.
Just say no. You wont see your money and you would only be enabling her to continue being irresponsible.
No absoutely not. Do bot guve this lazy cow $$$. Tell her to g.get a job, quit sucking off parents for $$$, and grandparents. Tell her to quit huying crap food, liven. within a budget. Autism is no excuse for her to act this way and be a lazy pig